My Girlfriend Keeps Involving Her Imaginary Friend In Our Relationship r/Relationships

[00:00:01] Hey Waffle Gang, I do hope you are well. My name is Mark and today we're checking out some more Reddit stories. And if you do love a Reddit story, why not consider a like, subscribe, maybe that notification bell too. And let's crack on with today's first story. Much love guys.

[00:00:18] Now today's first story comes from StorytimeDad and says, am I the arsehole, 27 male, for asking my girlfriend, 26 female, to stop involving her imaginary friend, Tom, in our relationship. So, when I started dating Sarah, I thought I hit the jackpot. Smart, funny and gorgeous. We've been together for about a year and everything seemed pretty normal.

[00:00:46] But recently, I discovered that she has an imaginary friend named Tom. I had no idea about Tom when we got together. At first, I thought she was just joking around when she'd say things like, Tom says you are funny, or Tom thinks we should order pizza. I laughed it off, assuming Tom was a goofy inside joke. But now it's like Tom's some kind of relationship therapist that I never hired.

[00:01:11] We were having a serious talk the other night and out of nowhere said, Tom thinks you're overreacting. I stared at her thinking, oh great, I'm getting double teamed by my girlfriend and her imaginary friend. So I finally asked her, can Tom maybe stay out of our conversations? Sarah looked crushed and told me Tom has been her rock for years. Now she's barely talking to me. And it's like Tom's got beef with me too.

[00:01:39] Am I the arsehole for asking her to keep Tom out of our relationship? Or do I just need to make peace with my invisible rival? Well, gee whiz, that's trippy. Yeah, I'd be worried about that situation as well. I'm just trying to imagine it like a loved one or something starts saying this. And it gets to the point where they're explaining that Tom has been their rock for years. Yeah, I would be concerned about that as well. I'm worried if there's actually something deeper going on.

[00:02:05] And Rough Plum said something similar. They said, I'll be worried Tom is a persistent delusion. Like legitimately a mental health delusion. You're not the arsehole, but I was immediately concerned about Tom being a mental health issue. Opie says, I've thought about that and it's definitely a concern. She seems fully aware that Tom isn't real, but he plays a big role in her life. I'm trying to figure out the best way to approach this without making her feel judged or unsupported.

[00:02:32] Maybe a conversation about it could help us both understand where it's coming from. John Redcorn Massage says, not the arsehole. There's a possibility that she's suffering from severe delusions and needs a psychiatrist like yesterday. It's not necessarily dangerous, but it's certainly unpredictable. The more likely case is that she's always used him as a manipulation tactic. Any disagreement in your relationship will end up with you being ganged up on. Tom will always cast a tie-breaking vote.

[00:03:01] Spoiler, he'll always side with her. Opie says, yeah, Tom's definitely the ultimate yes man. I swear he never disagrees with her. It's like I'm in a relationship with a built-in tiebreaker that I can never win. Maybe I should get my own imaginary friend for backup. Wonder if she'd let Jerry cast a vote. Lakashi says it could also be a response to childhood trauma. If she engaged with it privately and it helped her, I'd say no harm, no foul.

[00:03:28] But it is functionally impairing her life in the form of a romantic relationship. If you want to stay with her, engage her in a serious conversation about Tom. How he came around. What she was dealing with at the time. How he helps her now. Explain how it negatively impacts you. Besides being weird. And ask if she would consider therapy to see if there's something else going on. And see if there's a healthier way to manage Tom. Professional face responded to that and says, this is what I was thinking too.

[00:03:58] A reaction to childhood trauma when she needed to protect her and had no one. Tom shows up and Tom is here to stay until she manages to find a new coping strategy. I feel sorry for her. And for the OP too. If she is all that he believed her to be. I hope he is strong enough to help her through. If she had talked to him again. OP responds saying thanks. I appreciate your perspective. I hadn't thought of it that way. And it makes a lot of sense that Tom could be tied to something she needed in the past.

[00:04:27] I'm definitely willing to support her and talk it through if it'd help. I just need to find a way to bring it up that doesn't make her feel judged or defensive. So OP came in with her update which said Tom's origin story. And it's weirder than I expected. Alright, buckle up. Because things just got even stranger. After reading all your comments. Seriously, you guys are killing me with the give Tom a girlfriend and charge him rent suggestions.

[00:04:54] I decided it was finally time to have the talk with Sarah about Tom. So we're sitting there. And I gently bring up how Tom's presence in our relationship is, well, a bit much. She laughs at first and then suddenly gets this serious look and says, Okay, I guess it's time I told you the truth about Tom. Now I'm thinking she's gonna say, He's just a silly thing she made up as a kid. But no. She takes a deep breath and tells me that Tom wasn't just an imaginary friend.

[00:05:23] He was her boyfriend back in high school. Yep, you read that right. Apparently Tom was her ideal boyfriend during her teenage years when, in her words, real boys were just disappointments. She used to imagine him as this super supportive, hilarious guy who'd always take her side and hype her up. And somehow, even after she started dating actual people, Tom just stuck around. Now I'm sitting there thinking,

[00:05:50] Great, I'm in a love triangle with an imaginary high school boyfriend. She reassures me that it's not like that now, but I can't help but wonder if I'm competing with the ultimate, perfect boyfriend, who's literally too good to be true. So I guess I'll try to make peace with my invisible rival. But just so you know, if I ever hear her whisper, Thanks Tom, under her breath again, I might actually lose it. When she was coming out with, like Tom was a, wasn't just an imaginary friend,

[00:06:20] he was her boyfriend back in high school. I was expecting something like, to do with grieving, like losing her boyfriend back in school, or something along those lines. But I just don't think that's the end of Opie's story on this one, simply because, you know, Tom ain't gonna go nowhere. And you've been saying that, if you ever hear her whisper, Thanks Tom, under her breath again, you're gonna lose it. Which I can't see changing anytime soon. Holy moly, what would you guys do in this situation?

[00:06:49] Let us know your thoughts down in the comments below. And let's move on to another story. Now, our next story comes from SocietyTiny784 and says, Am I the arsehole for telling my sister? She's not allowed to bring her homemade food to Thanksgiving, because her cooking is ruining the meal. Every year, our family does a big Thanksgiving dinner, and we all typically bring a dish or two. My sister, who's a lovely person in every other way,

[00:07:17] insists on cooking something homemade every time. The issue? She's not a great cook. And I don't mean just not great, I mean she has somehow managed to turn classic dishes into borderline inedible creations. For context, last Thanksgiving, she showed up with a special recipe stuffing that was over-seasoned with random spices like cinnamon and cardamom. It was dry, and the flavors were confusing and totally off for stuffing.

[00:07:46] Only one person took a small bite, and the rest went untouched. Another year, she brought a green bean casserole that had some kind of strange, chewy texture. She later admitted that she used coconut milk and almond flour to experiment. No one wanted seconds of that either. This year, I'm hosting Thanksgiving. Since I'm responsible for putting a girl together, I wanted to keep the menu consistent so that people could actually enjoy a cohesive meal. I thought I'd avoid drama

[00:08:15] by asking her to bring non-food items instead, like wine, soda, or even some flowers. I explained to her very kindly, I thought, that I just wanted to make things easy and streamlined and I'd handle the main dishes. But she didn't take it well. She got offended and told me I was being controlling and shutting her out of the family gathering. She then accused me of making her feel inadequate and said that Thanksgiving is about everyone contributing, not me deciding what's acceptable.

[00:08:45] I told her that everyone appreciates her effort, but that she could contribute in other ways and still be a part of it. She doubled down and said she's bringing her famous green bean casserole, whether I like it or not. Now my mom and a couple of other family members have chimed in, saying I should just let her bring whatever she wants because it's Thanksgiving and it's the thought that counts. They're acting like I'm committing some huge offense by wanting the food to be enjoyable for everyone and not random experimental dishes that no one will eat.

[00:09:14] But I feel like I'm just trying to keep the meal enjoyable and frankly, edible. I don't think it's wrong to want guests to actually enjoy the food, especially since I'm putting in a lot of effort to host. Am I being unreasonable here? Am I the asshole? I don't know. I might have a bad take on this one because I kind of feel like there's more going on in the background of this. But in some ways, you said like she can bring non-food items, et cetera, et cetera. So you're pretty much happy with her bringing whatever

[00:09:43] as long as it's not food. So in some ways, you know, you know no one's going to eat it. Just let her make the thing, chuck it on the table. People don't touch it. They don't touch it, you know? Kind of like in the end, what effect does it actually have on anyone if no one's going to eat it anyway? Drawn on Quarter says, be grateful you never had to eat my Aunt Betsy's famous oyster dressing. More like infamous. She was a sweetie, so no one wanted to insult her. She was also wealthy, so that may have something to do with it.

[00:10:12] There was also Uncle Fred's liver dumpling soup. Thank God, a timely divorce removed him from the list after three terrible meals. But you need to learn that the food is secondary. I'll remember the laughs and fun a lot longer than some badly conceived gourmet treats. We had a family member a bit like that, but it was to do with Christmas gifts and it was always to do with my dad. And look, we may be an arsehole because, you know, we didn't say anything about it, but we absolutely loved it. Even my dad did.

[00:10:42] It was always like, what was my dad going to get at Christmas? It absolutely made the day. One year, he got a pair of shoes and in the box was two left feet. My dad had quit smoking like 10 years before this, which everyone in the family knew, but that particular year he got an ashtray. Another year, he got a jumper and I swear it must have been in kid sizes because it was like a crop top on my dad. He put it on. And like, look, like I said, we may be arseholes

[00:11:10] and I'm willing to accept that because we loved it. Anyway, back to the story. Crystal Queen says, you're the arsehole. It's one dish that everybody knows is bad and won't eat. Why is it a big deal? OP says, I get where you're coming from, but it's not just one dish. It's every year and every year she brings multiple dishes with strange combinations that no one eats and it ends up feeling awkward because she keeps pushing people to try her food and you're stuck pretending it's not that bad

[00:11:39] or trying to avoid it altogether. It also feels like a waste of time, effort and money, especially since it's supposed to be a big family meal where we enjoy the food together. I just want people to actually look forward to the meal, not feel obligated to pretend they're enjoying her experiments. I didn't think it'd be a big deal to ask her to bring something else. It's not like I'm uninviting her, but maybe I could have handled it differently. Second Choice asked the question, they said, I'm super curious, what other things

[00:12:08] has she made? If you're willing to expand on a few more, I want to know how bad we're talking here. Oh, OP says, oh, buckle up because there's a list. Here's some highlights from past family gatherings. One, Thanksgiving 2019, she made a spicy cranberry sauce that had whole chunks of jalapeno in it. She insisted it was elevating the flavor profile, but it ended up making people's mouth burn

[00:12:38] while eating turkey. We tried to pair it with other stuff on the plate, but it was a no-go. Two, Christmas 2020. She brought a fusion mac and cheese with wasabi and horseradish mixed in. Let's just say it was a very unexpected flavor to experience in a traditionally creamy, comforting dish. There were some coughs and watery eyes at the table that night. Three, Easter 2021. She made a carrot salad

[00:13:07] that had shredded carrots, raisins, and sardines. She claimed it was based on some Mediterranean recipe, but I'm pretty sure no Mediterranean grandma would approve. Four, last Thanksgiving. This was the infamous cinnamon cardamom stuffing. She wanted it to be warm and aromatic, but it ended up tasting like a holiday candle. But it ended up tasting like a holiday candle. I mean, that is warm and aromatic, right?

[00:13:37] The texture was also super dry, and even though she noticed no one was touching it, she blamed it on us, not appreciating new flavors. Five, family barbecues this past summer. She did a barbecue tofu thing that had an odd vinegar peanut butter sauce. I don't know what cuisine inspired that, but it didn't belong anywhere near a grill. People tried to be polite, but most of it ended up going home with her. So yeah, this isn't just me being picky. She's made some real adventures out

[00:14:07] of classic dishes, and I'm genuinely nervous for what she's planning with this whole Thanksgiving trio experience. What was the story we covered some months back where someone put raisins in something that was absolutely wild? The chat went crazy. Natural War says let her bring it. Maybe she's been practicing and it's good. If not, maybe she'll get the hint. Opie says I see what you're saying, but honestly, she's been practicing for years, and it hasn't improved. If anything, she's getting more experimental and

[00:14:36] doubling down on weird flavors and substitutions. I don't think she'd take the hint. She's pretty proud of her cooking and genuinely seems to think we're just not appreciating her creativity. If I thought it would lead to her realizing it's not working, I'd let it go. But instead, she just gets upset if people don't eat it, and it becomes this whole thing. I'm just trying to keep things simple and enjoyable for everyone without the awkwardness. Maybe there's a middle ground I'm missing. Impressive Arm says,

[00:15:06] soft, you're the arsehole. Just let her bring what she wants, it's not hurting you. You didn't have to eat it. It might even be fun to pretend it's the best thing ever and throw some away when she isn't looking, to make her feel good. It could be a part of the traditional holiday experience. Opie says, I get that, and maybe I'm overthinking it. It just feels like a small battle I'd rather not have every year, especially when I'm hosting and trying to make sure everyone genuinely enjoys the meal. I mean, I can

[00:15:35] definitely go with the smile and nod approach for the sake of family peace, but it does feel a little exhausting to pretend every time. I guess I just don't want to encourage her thinking that everyone actually loves it, especially when it's clearly not working. But you're right, it's just food, and maybe I should focus more on making her feel included than on the menu being perfect. I'll try to keep this in mind and relax about it. In some ways it kind of feels like she's just seeing how far she can push you guys. And OP seems to

[00:16:05] be turning around what some of the comments are saying, but I'm in some ways turning the other way, especially when people are being pressured to eat it, you know, and you have to nod and then put this in your mouth and stare while she's staring at you, and she's like, is it good? And you're like, yeah. I mean, I could actually see that getting annoying after a while, but OP came in with her update and said, alright, well, things have escalated fast. Thanks to everyone who offered advice. I tried to compromise, but it's already turning into

[00:16:34] a whole thing, and Thanksgiving is still a few weeks away. After our last conversation, my sister was being pretty cagey about what she planned to make, so I reached out to my mum, hoping she could help smooth things over. Instead, she got defensive, saying I'm overthinking and that it's just one dish. I told her I wasn't sure it was just one dish anymore, especially after hearing about my sister's grocery haul, including canned oysters and edible glitter.

[00:17:03] Oh, bloody hell. Then my mum let slip that my sister has been hard at work on some creative menu she's planning as a Thanksgiving surprise. Not the glittery oysters. Apparently, she's been telling the family group chat, which I wasn't included in by the way, that I'm being controlling, and she wants to expand everyone's palate with something truly unique. To top it off, my cousin sent me a screenshot from the group chat where my sister said she's bringing not one, but

[00:17:33] three dishes to Thanksgiving now. She's calling them her Thanksgiving trio experience, complete with her own place settings and little menu cards she's designing. I'm officially panicking because I have no idea what she's planning to serve, and from what I've heard, it's not remotely traditional. At this point, half the family thinks I'm overreacting, while the other half is texting me with things like, is she really bringing glittered sweet potatoes? I feel stuck. If I try to control

[00:18:02] it anymore, I'm the bad guy, but if I don't, Thanksgiving might turn into a tasting event for my sister's avant-garde cooking. So yeah, Thanksgiving is weeks away, and it's already become a family spectacle. I don't know whether to brace myself or just preemptively order pizza. The family drama at Thanksgiving, eh? I got to the paragraph where it said at this point, half the family thinks that I'm overreacting, so at this point, I'll be sitting back and saying, you bring your trio experience. I got half the family

[00:18:31] that can't wait to try those glittery oysters or glittery sweet potatoes. I don't know, something's going to grab glitter on it, and then just sit back at Thanksgiving and watch that unfold. Oh, I'd love to be a fly on the wall. OP responded to someone saying, let the sister take charge of the meal, and OP said, I have to admit, the idea is very tempting. Letting her take the spotlight with her Thanksgiving trio experience, while I sit back and sip on a glass of wine, sounds like one way to make a memorable holiday.

[00:19:01] Especially if everyone gets to see exactly what I was trying to save them from. It'd be kind of poetic to just lean into the chaos and let her creations be the star of the show, for better or worse. I have a feeling it would definitely be a Thanksgiving to remember, even if I had to brace myself for the family reactions. It's like a mix of malicious compliance and hands-off hosting. And I kind of love the idea of just throwing in some edible arrangements, a ton of drinks and calling it a day. And yeah, if it all

[00:19:30] goes sideways, I'll have plenty of remember that one Thanksgiving stories to pull out in the future. Thanks for the laugh and the wild suggestion. This might just be a holiday fantasy, but it's definitely a fun one to think about. Oh, this is just getting spicier and spicier. No pun intended, of course. But Enigos left hand says, honestly, I think you should just let her do this. It can be a new family tradition. Your sister brings something weird and inedible. You all ignore it and poke fun at her

[00:19:59] terrible cooking later. Is this really something you want to create drama over? Obi says, you are right. Maybe I've been looking at this all wrong. Letting her bring her unique dishes could actually become a funny little tradition if we let it. I mean, every family has its quirks and maybe this is just one of ours. Instead of stressing about it, I could just embrace it and let her dishes be a part of the Thanksgiving lore that we joke about later. It's definitely not worth creating unnecessary drama over. And if we all just go with it, I bet

[00:20:29] it'd be less awkward and maybe even entertaining in its own way. Thanks for the reminder to just roll with it and not take it so seriously. JennyBCT says, oh, please update us after Thanksgiving. I can't wait to hear about her culinary experiments. Obi says, don't worry, I'll definitely keep you all posted. I'm honestly half curious and half terrified to see what she ends up bringing. If past holidays are any indicator, we might be in for some very creative dishes and have a feeling the family

[00:20:58] reactions alone could make for quite the story. So stay tuned. If anything wild goes down, I'll be back with all the juicy details after. Fingers crossed for a low drama meal. Let's be real. I'm probably not that lucky. I need that update. I know I can't have it now. It's 28th, isn't it? Thanksgiving, I think. Keep me updated. Someone, if you see an update before, tweet me on it. Tweet me at Mark Narrations. But now I'm going to turn this one to you guys.

[00:21:28] What do you guys make of this situation? Holy moly. Would you roll with it? Would you say something? Would you turn it into a family thing? I'm quite liking the idea of a family thing to be fair. It reminds me like the Christmas present sort of stuff. But what do you guys make of this situation? Let us know your thoughts down in the comments below. And just a huge thank you for being here today, getting involved in the stories, your love, your support, your time always means the absolute world to me. So thank you so much

[00:21:57] and I'll see you in the next one. Take care and much love. Celebrate love. Erlebe das Pop Musical und Julia live in Hamburg.

[00:22:28] Zum Valentinstag nur für kurze Zeit bis zu 25% sparen. Jetzt Freude schenken. Tickets unter musicals.de See you in the next one. You