My Wife's Sister Confessed Her Love To Me Whilst Drunk - Do I Tell My Wife? | r/AITAH

[00:00:02] [SPEAKER_00] Hey Waffle Gang I do hope you're well my name is Mark and today we're checking out some more reddit stories and if you do love a reddit story why not consider the like subscribe maybe that notification bell too and let's crack on with today's first story. Much love guys. And our first story comes from remote insect7256 and says would I be the arsehole here if I don't tell my wife what her sister confessed to me.

[00:00:29] [SPEAKER_00] Hello, English is not my first language so I apologize for any mistakes. Also this is my first time posting here and this is a throwaway for obvious reasons. Well, my 32 male wife 27 female has an older sister and we call her Annie 34 female for this post. Annie is currently staying with us after a divorce 4 or so months ago. Apparently the guy was abusive and a bad person in general.

[00:00:56] [SPEAKER_00] My wife and I are very affectionate with each other but she asked me to tune it down a little to not make her sister feel awkward or uncomfortable with us. I agree but it's been hard because sometimes I forget and then I feel bad that Annie is there watching us. To make the long story short, my wife went to have dinner with her friends on Sunday. She said she invited Annie but she declined and she was just letting me know Annie would be home alone when I get there. When I got home, Annie was in the living room in the dark. I turned on the lights and saw she was drinking.

[00:01:27] [SPEAKER_00] She didn't look that great so I was asking if she was feeling okay. She didn't answer so I got closer and asked her again and she looked at me and said I love you. And I hate that my sister got the perfect guy while I got stuck with a loser. You know, I'm a better fit than her and other things I couldn't decipher. I just told her don't ever say something like that again or I'll kick you out. And she started crying and I took her to her room. Cleaned all her mess and got out again. Annie came back home once my wife told me she was already there.

[00:01:57] [SPEAKER_00] Well Annie's been acting like nothing happened but I feel she's always looking at me. But maybe it's all in my head. The thing is I haven't talked to my wife yet because I know she'd be devastated and I don't know how she'd react. I'm planning on asking Annie to move out as soon as possible and to pretend this never happened. But I never lied or heard anything from my wife before so this doesn't feel right. And I also feel guilty but I honestly just want to do what is best for my wife.

[00:02:25] [SPEAKER_00] I don't really care about Annie but I know my wife does and this is going to break her heart. So Reddit, would I be the yassol? I think first things first you absolutely need to tell your wife ASAP. Because when you know this eventually does slip out and it likely will. Well she'll probably say you know I was just trying to protect you. It sort of sounds noble at that moment but later down the line when Annie's doing something and slips up and it does come out.

[00:02:52] [SPEAKER_00] And your wife realizes that you kept this a secret for that long. It's going to feel more like a betrayal than anything. We've seen it before in these stories right? And then it will just raise other questions about what else are you hiding. And this would be nothing about what you're doing in this situation. This was Annie's choice. Annie made this choice to say that. Regardless if she was drinking or not. And then let your wife make the decisions on how she wants to handle her own sister. But a commenter says the same. You 100% need to tell her.

[00:03:20] [SPEAKER_00] What if Annie tells her first and spins it like you came on to her and not vice versa? You would be the asshole if you don't be honest. Opie says I did not think about that. Commodore says tell her immediately. She needs to know and her sister needs to be cut off as long as she has active feelings for you. Never be with her alone again. Always have someone else there as a witness. You don't know what she might say if it's ever your word against hers. Opie says this is the first time we interacted without my wife present.

[00:03:50] [SPEAKER_00] I don't talk much to her because I don't really like that. She's always here. Commodore says tell your wife. Everyone telling you that is 100% correct. You would be the asshole if you don't. If it turns out she really was hitting on you. Your wife needs to know anyway. And you also need to protect yourself in case sister-in-law tries to spin things or otherwise gets to your wife first. If it turns out your wife and sister-in-law are cooperating to test you. Something I'm surprised nobody else mentioned.

[00:04:18] [SPEAKER_00] Then you completely nuke your relationship if you don't tell. It doesn't matter that such tests are unethical. It only matters that people really do these tests. And relationships get destroyed because of them. Often unfairly. Opie responds saying my wife is not the type that would test me. In the state of my sister-in-law when I found her. Her eyes were barely open. So Opie came in with an update and says. I talked to my wife the day I made the post here. I picked her up from her job and we went to a nice restaurant near our house.

[00:04:48] [SPEAKER_00] We were just having fun and relaxing. And after dinner I told her something along the lines of. I want to tell you something. And it's not that I wanted to hide this on purpose. But this is a situation where I never expected to be involved in. So I don't know how to react. So please forgive me for not telling you sooner. But the other day when you were out with your friends. And you told me Annie was home alone. I got home before you and she was drinking in the dark. When I asked her if she was okay. She told me she had feelings for me. And it's not fair that you get to have the good husband.

[00:05:17] [SPEAKER_00] I ignored what she said and took her upstairs. And cleaned the mess in the living room. The only reason I didn't tell you this before. Is because I wanted to believe that she was just drunk and bitter. But now I realize it was not fair to you. To keep you in the dark about this. Well she was understandably upset. And we talked more about it. And asked if Annie has ever made any other comment like that. Or if I was ever alone with her. I reassure her that it was the first time. And I never had any inappropriate feelings or thoughts about her sister.

[00:05:45] [SPEAKER_00] She eventually calmed down and told me she trusted me. But she was obviously distressed about the situation. She said she wanted to talk to her sister alone. And she wanted me to drop her off at our house. And go to wait at my parents. I agreed but she also didn't want to kick her sister out on the street. So I booked an Airbnb for a week for her. I then did what she asked me to. After about 3 hours my wife called me and asked me to go back home. And I did. When I arrived Annie was already gone. And my wife was on the couch with all puffy eyes.

[00:06:15] [SPEAKER_00] I hugged her and we went to bed. I just hold her and she cried a little. And then we fell asleep. The next morning my wife told me. Annie tried to pin it on me. And told my wife I was the one who flirted with her. And asked her to sleep with me. My wife said she told Annie she already knew the truth. So she better start speaking. Annie then started crying. And telling my wife it is not fair that she gets to have a great life. When she didn't. And that my wife was always copying her. And was jealous of her. So why did she end up with a good guy like me.

[00:06:45] [SPEAKER_00] My wife just told her. She was never jealous. And she admired her. But not anymore. Then she asked Annie to leave. And told her she booked an Airbnb for a week. And then she is on her own. My wife blocked Annie every way. And we haven't heard from her again. My wife said we're okay. But maybe couples counseling wasn't a bad idea. And I agreed. So now we're looking for a therapist. I'm so glad she's finally gone. And we don't have to deal with her again. And so happy my wife trusts me enough to believe me when I talk to her.

[00:07:15] [SPEAKER_00] We're now making arrangements for the holidays. And a little bit late. But we're putting some decorations as well. I want to thank you all who told me to talk to my wife. I realized I could have lost my marriage for keeping quiet. The commenter says to OP. Good communication and outcome. But why a couples therapist? Your marriage is in good shape. OP says just in case I guess. She may feel insecure about what her sister said. But I feel she didn't tell me everything. I don't think it's a bad thing though.

[00:07:45] [SPEAKER_00] The commenter said it's super smart of you guys to go to counseling. Even though this ended well between the both of you. Super smart to make sure you're keeping your marriage happy and healthy. Good on you both. The commenter says OP. I'm glad you listened to the near unanimous chorus from last time and did the right thing. Her trust in you can only go up from you making it clear that you put her first. And another commenter says not the arse soul. It sounds like your sister-in-law is having trouble coping with a divorce.

[00:08:13] [SPEAKER_00] And that's likely the source of her affection for you. If that helps either of you or your wife at all. Sometimes when people are struggling they displace their feelings. And think they feel for others who offer support when it's really not that at all. That sounds like what's going on with your sister-in-law. Add alcohol to that and the things people say can get pretty wild. That said when your sister-in-law doubled down claiming you were the one trying to initiate things. She lost every bit of sympathy and understanding.

[00:08:41] [SPEAKER_00] She was envious of her sister and made a conscious sober decision to try and destroy her sister's marriage. While at the same time using you and her sister for shelter and comfort. Regardless of whether or not she stays blocked. This is not someone you or your wife should ever trust again. Your sister-in-law's behavior went past the point of being upset. And moved to disgusting. Please protect yourselves. And don't let this woman back in your lives. I'm really sorry this happened to you and your wife. It's terrible what your sister-in-law did.

[00:09:10] [SPEAKER_00] But you both handled it well. And I'm glad that things did work out for OP and their wife. Because if OP didn't listen to those comments in the first part. And then actually tell his wife what was going on. It could have been an absolute horror story if Annie did get to the wife first right. But what do you guys make of this situation? Let us know your thoughts down in the comments below. And let's move on to another story.

[00:09:38] [SPEAKER_00] Now our next story comes from Newbrick1 from the WhatDoIDo subreddit. And says, I want to buy a house with my own money. But girlfriend says no. I29male have been dating my girlfriend 25 females for a little over a year. I don't live with her. She doesn't work because she doesn't want to. And relies on her parents. Things are mostly okay. But we're hitting a big disagreement that I can't shake. I've been saving aggressively for a while.

[00:10:06] [SPEAKER_00] And I'm finally in a position where I could buy a small house or townhouse on my own. Down payment is mine. Mortgage would be in my name. And I'd be fully responsible for it. When I told my girlfriend she immediately shut it down. She says it's a huge life decision that affects both of us. And that I shouldn't do it unless we're married or buying together. She also said it would make her feel like she has no say in our future. And that it puts pressure on her to move on my terms. From my side. I'm not asking her to pay anything.

[00:10:35] [SPEAKER_00] I'm not forcing her to move in. I see it as a smart financial move. And something I've worked hard for. I don't want to keep renting just because I'm in a relationship that may or may not last forever. I don't like the idea of delaying my goals. Waiting for someday. Now it's turned into arguments where she says I'm being selfish and acting single. And I feel like she's trying to control what I do with my own money. I get that it impacts the relationship. But I don't think that means I need permission to buy property I can afford.

[00:11:05] [SPEAKER_00] What do I do? Larry says to OP quoting things are mostly okay. And then says I don't make big life decisions with someone who I view that way. Might be time to move on. It's only been a year. Okay finger replies that saying yes. If that's the way OP describes the relationship. Kinda tells us everything. Get the house. You can always sell it and move into a different home if the relationship goes somewhere. Okay introduction says good for you for saving for a house. Buy the house. Super weird she can't be happy for you.

[00:11:35] [SPEAKER_00] OP says I'm so excited for buying. I've been waiting for this moment. I'm also weirded out by it as well. She seems so mad at me. Awa says she wants you to wait until you're married. So she can have partial claim or something. That's just my guess. Rossetti Yeti says most likely this. I don't know where you live OP. But in many countries. The standard asset structure for marriages is that you share 50-50 of everything you acquired during the marriage.

[00:12:01] [SPEAKER_00] But each spouse will keep 100% of what they brought into the marriage. Like your house. In case of divorce. She maybe wants claim to your half of the house if you get married then divorced. And another commenter says increasing value during the marriage is divisible. So OP did come in with an update and says I spent a long time reading through the responses and honestly just got overwhelmed. At some point it hit me that this isn't just about a house. This is a much deeper issue than I wanted to admit.

[00:12:30] [SPEAKER_00] I didn't sleep at all last night. I kept replaying everything and realizing how foolish I'd been in this relationship. Around the middle of the night I had a full panic attack and ended up driving to my parents house. I woke them up and told them everything. They didn't even know most of this was going on. They've always seen me as independent and assumed I had things under control. Clearly, I didn't. I had to admit some hard truths to myself. I don't really have friends. I was naive, depressed and had low self-esteem.

[00:12:58] [SPEAKER_00] I met the first woman in a local bar who showed me affection and I clung to that. Thinking that was just how relationships worked. Deep down the reason I was so unsure about everything is because of a lack of ambition and drive. And I hate admitting this but I'm also at fault. I tolerated it. I spent money I shouldn't have. I indirectly encouraged behavior I wasn't okay with. A lot of you basically gave me the wake up call I needed. I've never really dated before. I kept my head down, got my computer science degree,

[00:13:28] [SPEAKER_00] landed a high paying job and just kept grinding. The cost of that was my social skills and emotional awareness. That pain built up quietly and whenever it surfaced, my go-to solution was calling her over so it would temporarily go away. That's obviously not a long-term solution. I did try therapy before but I didn't feel comfortable with my therapist and ended up dropping it. After last night, I realized I need to try again with someone else.

[00:13:54] [SPEAKER_00] I called her in the late morning and asked her to come to my apartment tomorrow. Actually, meeting at a public place like a park might be a better idea. I'll change my plans for an important discussion. I'm going to break up with her tomorrow. I needed today to calm down, collect my thoughts and stop spiraling. I'm moving forward with buying my house soon. This whole thing hurts but I finally feel like I'm choosing myself instead of avoiding discomfort. Travel says to this one, OP, I'm so glad for you.

[00:14:24] [SPEAKER_00] It's painful but necessary. Dating someone who doesn't have the same values and goals or hell, any goals will never work. Leave this relationship and then work on your relationship with yourself. Become your own best friend. Make plans, execute goals, hit the gym and do some wellness stuff. Dating will come and you'll meet someone fantastic as you learn to treat yourself either way. The love you've been giving someone ungrateful. And Preston says,

[00:14:59] [SPEAKER_00] I just found it mad at the beginning of this that you're getting with someone and they're just about to buy their own home. That you wouldn't be like overjoyed. That someone that you love is able to do that for themselves. It's crazy to me. But what do you guys make of this decision? Do you have a different opinion on the matter? Let us know your thoughts down in the comments below. And let's move on to another story. Now our next story comes from TheOmlet who says,

[00:15:32] [SPEAKER_00] Things have been great with my girlfriend for the most part. We 28 female, 26 male have been together for four years and living together for two. Lately there's been some tension so I feel like maybe that's why things may have boiled over. We both work a lot. So we have both been very cranky and moody. Especially my girlfriend who snapped at me a few times and has been in a really bad mood. For the past few days what's really set her off is my cooking.

[00:16:00] [SPEAKER_00] I'm usually the one making breakfast, packing our lunches and dinner. Literally anytime I've been at the stove, She complains about how bad the smell is and gives me crap about using stuff that has obviously gone bad according to her. Or saying it tastes like shit. Won't even finish eating. This has pissed me off. I'm not a chef but I do pride myself in my cooking and she's talking about how bad my food is. I've had my co-workers try my lunch and they tell me it tastes just fine.

[00:16:29] [SPEAKER_00] I figured with all the stress she's under at work, She probably needed an outlet to let out her frustration. And maybe that's why she's giving me shit about simple things. I don't know. But I snapped a little this morning when she again complained about the omelette I was making us. So I actually dumped the eggs in the trash, told her she could make her own damn breakfast for herself then. And I'm not cooking for her anymore. Is she gonna keep acting spoiled about what I make? We ended up having an argument over this and we left for work mad.

[00:16:58] [SPEAKER_00] Anyway, my girlfriend didn't come home and her sister called me. My girlfriend's mad at me and her sister thought I was being a dick for reacting so immaturely by refusing to cook for her anymore. When I know she works a lot. So sometimes she doesn't have the time to prep her own meals. I don't know why this turned into a bigger deal. But here I am sitting at home wondering if I was being an asshole for losing my cool. And telling her I'm not cooking for her. Just didn't think it's fair for her to be talking shit about my cooking. But she never has before.

[00:17:28] [SPEAKER_00] And thought well if she doesn't like it then she can take over the kitchen. Was I an asshole? So a commenter was asking for info on this one. About how she complains how bad the smell is. And gives you crap about using stuff that's obviously gone bad. And then says, Are you sure she's not pregnant? OP says, I did not think about that honestly. Emma Pema says, Tell her to pee on a stick. When I was in early pregnancy I hated the smell of bacon. Made me wanna vomit.

[00:17:56] [SPEAKER_00] Pregnancy explains the smells and the mood. Get her a stick and give us an update. Celtic says, Not the asshole. Just a thought but my wife's sense of smell became mega acute when she fell pregnant. Any chance? OP says, Does that really happen with the smell? Because I thought it was just morning sickness and stuff that you get at first. Celtic neutral replies saying, Not everyone gets morning sickness. My wife just had this hypersensitivity to smells. Crying onions made her want to hurl.

[00:18:25] [SPEAKER_00] And pre-pregnancy she loved the smell. OP says, Wow okay. That actually makes sense thinking about it. Don't know for sure though but I'm gonna have to talk to her. That's so crazy. Honestly I have no clue about the smell thing. F Prince says, Yep. I'm currently pregnant and only 11 weeks. All the foods I once loved I can't stand the taste or smell of right now. My poor fiance has to cook for the majority of the meals we eat because I can't stand the smell when I'm cooking. And I can't eat most of what he cooks either.

[00:18:54] [SPEAKER_00] As it makes me sick. So most of it ends up in the bin. This has been going on since I was around 5 weeks pregnant. OP says, Shit. I really need to call her before I get myself too excited over nothing. Lol. Thanks for this info. Feeling kinda stupid for not knowing it. I know people have said it but it could also be Covid or some other medical issue. Seriously doubt I'm using anything expired since we always check for that stuff and I haven't changed anything in my cooking. This is the first time she ever complains about anything I make.

[00:19:24] [SPEAKER_00] So OP did come in with an update and says, Well shit this is way too many responses for me. Most of it pointing out some obvious shit that didn't even hit me until you all mentioned it. It was super late when I posted this and I was gonna wait until the morning to talk to her. Had a missed call from my girlfriend so I called her back. Totally different tune this time. My girlfriend was really apologetic about the way she was acting and didn't realize how much of a bitch she was being. Her words not mine I swear. Until she talked more with her sister.

[00:19:53] [SPEAKER_00] Apparently her sis didn't have the full details of the fight. My girlfriend was just extremely upset and while I told her what we thought about. I guess the state of my girlfriend was in the moment made her think the fight was a lot bigger than it actually was. Hence her reaction. She didn't know this was going on for days until they talked about it last night. Even her sister was like seriously. Yeah that helped her see how shitty she was being towards me. Her sister also apologized to me by the way. I said my piece to her.

[00:20:22] [SPEAKER_00] It wasn't cool being used as a punching bag and I don't deserve that kind of disrespect from her. Especially when I'm here cooking meals for both of us. My girlfriend was really understanding of that and we both agreed to talk shit out instead of letting it all boil up to the point where we both snapping at each other. Okay so getting back to what everyone's been wanting to hear. My girlfriend got home and I decided to bring up her issues with the smell thing. Praying to God she wouldn't rip my head off for implying she was only mad cause hormones.

[00:20:51] [SPEAKER_00] Her reaction was priceless though because clearly she didn't think about that either. So yep we took a quick trip to CVS and got us a couple of tests just to be sure. We came home and yep they're positive. Holy fuck I can't believe you guys were right about that. I'm feeling like a bit of a dumbass for not knowing that lol. But anyway yeah we're pregnant and freaked out slash super excited. My girl for sure cried and okay me too a little bit. She's calling her doctor to make an appointment though just to be sure.

[00:21:20] [SPEAKER_00] But yeah for right now looks like we got a little squish on the way and I can't stop thinking about it. It's too crazy. I know lots of you keep asking so there's your update. This has been a fucking roller coaster. Edith sent my girlfriend my post. She thanks everyone for pointing out the obvious and how bad her behavior was towards me. Anyway she says you're all invited to the baby shower. Commenter said congrats Opie on the pregnancy.

[00:21:45] [SPEAKER_00] Cranky says I loved your post this morning and your subsequent realization of what may be happening with each comment. It was really sweet. Congrats. Opie replies one more time saying lol. I went back and read them remembering exactly each thought going through my mind. It was a whole journey in just a short amount of time. And a lot of the comments on the back of this were not surprised it was pregnancy. Still not excusing the way girlfriend actually spoke to Opie in those moments. But what do you guys make of this situation?

[00:22:16] [SPEAKER_00] Let us know your thoughts down in the comments below. Just a huge thank you for being here today getting involved in the stories. Your love your support your time. It always means the absolute world to me. So thank you so so much for being here and hopefully I'll see you in the next one. Take care and much love.