A Flight Attendant Tried To GUILT ME Into Giving Up My Seat For A Child r/BestOf

[00:00:02] [SPEAKER_00] Hey Waffle Gang, I do hope you are well. My name is Mark B and today we're checking out some more Reddit Stories. And if you do love a Reddit Story, why not consider? Can that like, subscribe, maybe that notification bell too. And let's crack on with today's first story. Much love guys. Now today's first story comes from BurnerAccount050326 from the OffMyChest subreddit. And it says,

[00:00:27] [SPEAKER_00] I don't care if refusing to move seats on an aeroplane so a parent and child can sit together makes me a bad person. I was asked to move from a row or two so a parent and child could sit together and I don't feel guilty for declining. No matter how much the flight attendant and the parent tried to guilt me. I wasn't going to take a downgrade to economy. But even if I was asked to change to a seat in the same class, I would refuse. When I have to fly, I choose the seat that I want. Or in rare cases, when there are no assigned seats, I choose the best seat that's available.

[00:00:57] [SPEAKER_00] I'm not moving just because someone else is a parent. If someone is traveling with a small child, they need to plan better. I don't need advice. I just needed to rant because while I did complain to the airline about one, being asked to downgrade to economy without a refund or any compensation, I still wouldn't have moved. But being told I should help without getting a refund was upsetting. And two, being guilted by the flight attendants because I refused. I don't expect a response.

[00:01:24] [SPEAKER_00] In Canada, the airline is legally required to give a refund, not a voucher or anything else, if you are downgraded. To being told I wouldn't be compensated at all if I changed seats was wrong. I don't know what ended up happening, but the seat next to me was empty during the flight and I got to sit alone. Just because I'm not a parent doesn't mean I should have to move. I don't care if not moving makes me a bad person.

[00:01:49] [SPEAKER_00] Damn, that's infuriating. I could see certain situations where I might consider switching, but this certainly isn't one of them. OP booked a specific seat in a specific class, paid for it and then was asked to downgrade with no compensation at all. That's just absolutely wild. Add on the guilt tripping that's going around by a paying passenger is, it's just, that's crazy to me. The commenter says to OP, a downgrade to economy.

[00:02:17] [SPEAKER_00] When I read that, I think it's intentional on their part and they hope to guilt people into a free upgrade. Gloomy says that's exactly the shady tactic they try. Hoping someone's too polite to say no to a favor that benefits them. Cranky vet says they asked my wife and I to move out of a pod to premium economy so a family could sit together. I actually broke out laughing, loudly. So, have I read that right? Just coming back after the comments there.

[00:02:46] [SPEAKER_00] That this guy booked himself in premium class or whatever it was, whilst booked their child in economy and that's why they wanted OP to swap. What? Anyway, OP does update this post and says, so I never thought I'd have an update for this. I just posted so I could vent and complain and figured that would be the end of it. I'd filed a complaint with the airline but I didn't think I would get a response so I was posting here to vent. The airplane did respond.

[00:03:12] [SPEAKER_00] They acknowledged that the law in Canada entitles me to a refund if my seat is downgraded. And even though I'd refused to move seats, the airline offered me a voucher. I'll take it. I wasn't expecting anything so I was surprised the airline actually replied. As I said in my last post, I don't care if refusing to move seats so a parent and their kid can sit together makes me a bad person. Some people may think I'm an arsehole and that's fine with me.

[00:03:36] [SPEAKER_00] In this case, I was asked to give up my seat in a row of two for a downgraded seat in economy because a father had the seat beside me but his kid had a seat in economy. The flight attendants and the father all tried to guilt me into moving and the flight attendants even said I wouldn't get a refund for taking the downgrade and should just help. I refused and I don't know what happened but the seat beside me was empty during the flight. I don't know why they didn't offer someone from economy an upgrade so the father and his kid could sit together.

[00:04:05] [SPEAKER_00] Maybe they did and someone else didn't want to move or be separated from their family. I honestly don't know. I would never move seats even if it was in the same class and not a downgrade. It's not my responsibility to make sure a kid and parent get to sit together. Call me a bad person, a jerk, etc. if you want but I'm not moving. Edit for anyone sending me Reddit care messages, I'm just ignoring them. Why are people doing that?

[00:04:32] [SPEAKER_00] A commenter says, so the dad bought a seat in first class and a seat in economy for his son knowing they would be a part. But then it becomes someone else's problem. Why not have him exchange his seat with someone in economy? Another one says, it seems like he did it on purpose to get his son a cheap first class seat. Another one says, a free first class seat. Some people have some bloody audacity, don't they? But what do you guys make of this situation?

[00:04:59] [SPEAKER_00] Let us know your thoughts down in the comments below and let's move on to another story. Now our next story comes from TechnicalBoat7524 from the AmITheArseholeHere subreddit. And it says, am I the arsehole here for wearing shapewear on a date? Hi. I, 29 female, have lost about 75 pounds over the past 10 months. I still have about 20-ish pounds until I meet my goal. But I feel so much more confident and better in my body.

[00:05:27] [SPEAKER_00] Still, I have some excess skin around my stomach and the inside of my thighs. My trainer says that with continued strength training, these could reduce significantly. So I'm considering my options for surgery. In the meantime though, I don't want to keep waiting to feel perfect when I want to date now. So I wear shapewear underneath my clothes to smooth things out and hold the excess skin in. I have been seeing a guy, Jake, 28 male, for the past couple of months. He's funny, cute and great conversation.

[00:05:57] [SPEAKER_00] I think we have great chemistry and strong mutual attraction. I'm not the kind of person who has sex casually or without knowing a person well. And Jake has been understanding of this. We've kissed and I've given him aura. But I just wasn't ready for sex. This past weekend, I felt like I was finally ready to try. And after our date, we went back to his place. He undressed and he's been athletic his whole life. So his body is perfect. I took the plunge and started removing my clothes.

[00:06:24] [SPEAKER_00] He was surprised that I was wearing shapewear and asked if it was a corset. I couldn't tell if he was joking, but I kept undressing. So I was exposed, loose skin and all. His face fell. He looked disgusted and disappointed. I think he realized how his reaction looked because he immediately started apologizing and explaining that he was just surprised that I was wearing anything like that. But it really struck my self-confidence. I felt so disgusting and self-conscious.

[00:06:50] [SPEAKER_00] It was like I was flung back to my heavier days where guys would ghost me once they saw a photo of me. I was completely turned off and put my clothes back on quickly. He was still apologizing, but I could tell he was also annoyed that I didn't want to have sex anymore. I talked about this with my friends. And while some of them think he was rude but well-meaning, A couple of my friends think that I should have just been honest from the jump so I could find a guy who genuinely liked me without any surprises. I didn't feel like I was deceiving him or anything.

[00:07:18] [SPEAKER_00] But I do know he's used to dating more athletic, active women like himself. And even though I've lost weight, I'll never be that type of person. We're still texting and he's apologized again, but now I'm afraid to face him. Am I the arsehole here? One of the commenters says, I have 13-inch scars on both upper legs from surgery. They're ugly and my inner thighs are very far from perfect looking. After 17 years, I'm still embarrassed by how they look.

[00:07:45] [SPEAKER_00] But when I was dating and was with a guy I was going to get intimate with, I told them beforehand. I didn't want them to be surprised and ask questions in the moment. And let me tell you, not a single guy cared once. We are far more critical of ourselves and think others will react the same way. The fact that he is still texting is a good thing. Make plans to meet up soon. It'll be awkward at first, but you have to give him the chance to show him he was just surprised. Not turned off. Coana says, Most dudes just don't care about stuff like that.

[00:08:14] [SPEAKER_00] It's the same with makeup, but women refuse to believe anyway. My wife has a scar from her appendix surgery and she was super self-conscious about it. I didn't even notice it until she pointed it out. Could care less, like what the fuck? Now she finally doesn't care even if I touch it. But it took a while. The other commenter says, You'll have to either trust him to be honest that he still wants to be with you or break up. You're not an asshole for wearing shapewear on dates, but I think you're daft for not realizing it'd be a bit of a shock for him in the moment. Purple says,

[00:08:44] [SPEAKER_00] The day my husband and I met, we were both interested in each other within 15 minutes of meeting. About 10 minutes after that, I let him know I was divorced and he lifted his hat to show he was bald. Easier to get it over with early. Chewy Bar says, Thanks for this anecdote. I'm literally wheezing at my desk at a man lifting his hat up in response to, I'm divorced. Hope you guys are still this amazing. Purple says, Glad our absolute nonsense brought you some joy. We're about to hit our five year anniversary.

[00:09:13] [SPEAKER_00] Some things have stayed the same and others have changed, but I like to think we're still pretty amazing. For example, I've updated my marital status from divorced to happily married. And he's been consistently bald. The entire relationship. Butter says, I think this should have been a conversation before you got to the bedroom. If you aren't ready to discuss your weight loss and the repercussions of it, you're not ready to have sex with someone. I wouldn't surprise a new partner with an unexpected body issue. I knew someone with burn scars and he always brought it up before sleeping with someone.

[00:09:43] [SPEAKER_00] Because he knew they could be upsetting at first and didn't want to take anyone unaware. He also didn't want to kill the moment by having to discuss a really traumatic event as foreplay. You'll never know how this guy would have reacted if you talked to him first. I'm not going to say you're the asshole, but in future, you need to be more upfront and honest. So it was a couple of days after that, the OP came in with her update and said, Okay, thanks to everyone who left nuanced and thoughtful comments.

[00:10:08] [SPEAKER_00] Like that person who compared hiding my loose skin to a guy pretending to be rich or living in a shitty apartment or whatever. People were wondering how or why I've been seeing someone for two months. I said a couple in my OP without revealing I was wearing shapewear. My area has been pretty cold for these past months since it's winter, so it hasn't been hard to hide myself. The first time we met, I wasn't even wearing shapewear. Just a big coat at a Christmas market.

[00:10:33] [SPEAKER_00] We'd gone on six dates in total before that fateful evening, and on every one of those, I kept my clothes on. Even the two times we went to his place after the date. Also, something that gave me a chuckle was people helpfully reminding me that oral sex is in fact sex. You're right. I phrased it like that just to make it clear that I wasn't taking my clothes off while we were having the intimacy we were. So, a lot of people asked what I was expecting from this ruse or how long I expected it to go on. Or why I didn't just breach the subject beforehand.

[00:11:03] [SPEAKER_00] After thinking about it, I know I was sub-slash-unconsciously avoiding it. In my mind, I was doing us both a favor by revealing it cold turkey rather than just talking about it. Many people pointed out that it sounded like I was self-sabotaging, and I have to agree. I wanted to be the new me. In a way that meant I could pretend I was never different. And the skin is a physical reminder that it isn't true. How could someone still so imperfect deserve him?

[00:11:30] [SPEAKER_00] Or so focused on ignoring my insecurity that it became a motivating force behind my actions. For that reason, I accept that I was the arsehole. Not for wearing shapewear at all, but for not trusting Jake or myself to be able to handle the insecurity behind it or the body in it. I called him on FaceTime last night and apologized profusely for putting in this weird, asinine position. I told him that every part of me has been honest, but I couldn't face him or myself about my body because it still causes me so much shame.

[00:11:59] [SPEAKER_00] I don't want to lose out on a good thing because of my insecurity, but I felt it was right to offer him space or the opportunity to just end things. Luckily for me, he didn't want that. As many people also predicted, his reaction to surprise was just surprise. He told me he didn't find my body disgusting or horrifying with or without shapewear, and he wished that I was upfront about what I was going through because he'd felt bad that I was so clearly upset by his reaction.

[00:12:25] [SPEAKER_00] He also said he was impressed that I've changed my life this way, and he offered to do some mixed recreational league stuff when the weather gets warmer because I still have a lot of anxiety around team sports. I regret putting either of us in this position, and I truly appreciate everyone's perspectives. I still have a lot of work to do acclimating to my new reality. I think some part of me just hates myself for ever being fat, and still hates myself for carrying the reminders. We have another date this weekend. No shapewear allowed.

[00:12:55] [SPEAKER_00] Commodore says he sounds like a thoughtful and sensitive person. Nobody was the asshole in that situation. My3Floof says what a nice outcome OP. I'm glad you both talk like adults, and I hope it gives you the confidence boost you rightly deserve after all the hard work you have done. And this one just felt like two humans going through a very messy situation. OP's clearly been beating herself up for some time about what she's going through.

[00:13:20] [SPEAKER_00] You know, the self-sabotage, the shame that she talks about, and it just seemed he was just genuinely surprised in that moment. Obviously, there was the part in the initial post where it said his face fell and he looked disgusted and disappointed, but was that just OP framing it in a way because of the way that she feels about herself? I don't know. That's why it felt so messy to me as well. It might not be that way, but it kind of felt that way to me. But once again, I'm glad things are working out better for them.

[00:13:49] [SPEAKER_00] But what do you guys make of this situation? Maybe you've got a completely different opinion on the matter. Let us know your thoughts down in the comments below, and let's move on to another story. Now, our next story comes from StraightPrize1611 from the AmITheArsehole subreddit. And it says, AmITheArsehole for giving someone a vape with no nicotine so they wouldn't want to try it again? I'm 19 now, but I've been vaping since I was about 16.

[00:14:16] [SPEAKER_00] It started as a dumb, everyone else was doing it thing, and it kind of stuck. My mom absolutely hated it when she found out back then. We had a lot of arguments about it through sixth form, lots of confiscations and lectures. At one point, she even started doing urine tests. Even though I was furious with her at the time, I agreed with her trying to stop me in hindsight. It was a dumb decision to start vaping, and I wish I'd never took it up. And I appreciate she was trying to look out for me.

[00:14:44] [SPEAKER_00] A couple of weeks ago, my friend, 17, said he was curious about vaping and wanted to try it. He asked me because he obviously can't buy one himself yet. I figured that if I said no, he'd eventually find someone who would give him one. So, I agreed. I went out and got one, but filled it up with vape juice that was 0% nicotine, and in the most awful flavor I could find. I forget if he was curious, he could technically try vaping. But I didn't want to be the reason he started a nicotine habit. I didn't tell him there was no nicotine.

[00:15:15] [SPEAKER_00] A couple of days later, I asked him what he thought. He said he didn't get why anyone vapes. He tried it a few times just to see if it would grow on him, but it didn't. And he said he's not interested in trying it again. It worked. Fast forward to yesterday, and I decided to mention this to my mom while we were chatting. I thought she would find it funny how much I'd changed, and maybe even a little bit proud of me. Instead, she said what I did was wrong. Her reasoning was basically that I manipulated him.

[00:15:42] [SPEAKER_00] She said my friend asked me for something honestly, and I deliberately misled him by giving him something I knew wouldn't represent the real experience. What really threw me was when I pushed back and asked if she'd feel the same way if the situation involves weed or even something like coke. I assumed she'd say that's different, but she didn't. I told her that if she were my friend's mom, then she'd probably be pretty happy with the outcome. He tried it, hated it, and now isn't interested in vaping at all. From her perspective, that should be a win.

[00:16:10] [SPEAKER_00] But she responded her point was that I'm not his parent, and even parents shouldn't trick kids about what they're putting in their bodies. I even asked if it would have been less bad if I gave him what he was expecting, and she said yes. This reaction surprised me coming a lot from her because she spent years trying to stop me vaping and was very intense about it. So hearing her suddenly take this, people make their own choices stance caught me off guard, especially when what I did was less harsh than anything she did.

[00:16:36] [SPEAKER_00] I can see where she's coming from, but I think it's a valid way to stop someone from taking up vaping. Am I the arsehole? So, there was quite a lot of comments coming from different directions in this one, so we're going to cover a couple of extra. The first one said, Not the arsehole, but in future, don't loop your mom into talking about substances. She's not in the same world as you are. Another commenter says, Not the arsehole. While I'm firmly against manipulation and lying in almost any circumstance, I also vape for a decade. I didn't quit until my late 20s.

[00:17:05] [SPEAKER_00] After vaping the Nick equivalent of a pack a day for a decade, lying for someone's own benefit is a fine line and a slippery slope, not something that I want to make blanket statements about. I think you truly were in the right in this situation. It's the same idea as dads who let their children try a sip of their beer in order to convince them that alcohol is gross and not worth pursuing. It may not be a foolproof plan, but if you can convince a young person that a dangerous substance is gross and boring rather than enticing and exciting, may God watch over you and your deceit.

[00:17:35] [SPEAKER_00] Lol. You may not succeed in warding them away from it for life, but even if you can just delay their exposure to it, that helps. Maybe it'll be delayed into a time when they're more ready to resist peer pressure, have better coping strategies, are less impulsive, etc. At the very least, you're delaying the onset of the self-inflicted damage. From now on, don't discuss this with anyone, not just because they might disagree, but because if it gets back to the person you were trying to help and deceive, it will not only be messy,

[00:18:03] [SPEAKER_00] it will likely increase their resolve to explore what you were trying to safeguard. Another commenter says, I'm not going to pass judgment, but I have a few things for you to consider. If you found out someone you trust tricked you, would you be okay if they gave the excuse it was for your own good? Or would you be angry they treated you like a person who wasn't capable of making a decision for yourself? Would you still trust them? Is it really okay to lie to people and trick them because you feel you know what's best for them? That's a slippery slope. Where do you draw the line?

[00:18:32] [SPEAKER_00] If your friend found out what you did, would they be angry with you? Especially when you go around telling people things like this are going to get found out. Would you tell someone they were wrong to not want to be friends with someone who manipulated them? Or does cutting off a person who manipulates you sound like the correct response? If your friend had a bad reaction to the vape, or ingested something that caused a bad reaction with it, and had to go to the hospital, would you be okay knowing that they didn't have the information they needed to get help because they didn't know what they had actually been given? I get wanting to feel like you did something good,

[00:19:01] [SPEAKER_00] but a lot of bad things are done with a belief that it's for someone's own good. If it's not something you'd be okay having done to you, why would you do it to others? Kamala says you're the arsehole, even if you think your intentions were good. Hopefully the ends will justify the means. But first, your mom is right. Don't fuck with what people put in their bodies. Let's say you ask someone to buy you whiskey, so you ask them to buy you Jack Daniels. They buy you the bottle, but replace it with Kentucky Deluxe. After all, if it tastes bad enough, you'll never drink it again,

[00:19:31] [SPEAKER_00] and they're the hero, right? When I bought my first pack of cigarettes, it was gross. That didn't stop me from getting drunk and trying them later, and then I was hooked. All it takes for your friend to do is impulsively try someone else's vape, and the only lesson they take away from it is that they can't trust you. Another commenter says everyone sucks here. Mom is defensive because you're still vaping, and now you just told her you bought one for a friend. The wise choice would have been to say no, or at least not tell your mom that you bought an underage kid of vape.

[00:20:00] [SPEAKER_00] If you appreciate that she has your well-being in mind, it's best to not bring up these difficult subjects with her at all, unless you're talking about quitting. You are not in a place with her right now where you can joke about it, and I'm not sure why you think she'll be proud of you for this. I know you think you're being clever, but the real win would have been to have an honest conversation with your friend about how difficult nicotine addiction can be, especially now that it's in everyone's faces all of the time. The harm these things can do is incredible. I've developed severe asthma due to vaping for the last 10 years.

[00:20:30] [SPEAKER_00] It's not a joke or clever to try and manipulate people into not doing it. I see where you're coming from, and hopefully your friend doesn't ever pick up the habit. But I think if I was 17-year-old me, I would have appreciated someone being honest and telling me that most people find it obnoxious to constantly be vaping, and that it will lead to serious health problems if you don't stop. And one more commenter from another different perspective, which says, No one's an arsehole here. Your friend trusted you enough to ask you about this habit you choose to keep. The better route would have been to discuss it with him,

[00:20:59] [SPEAKER_00] how you're tangled up in addiction, and that you don't want to see him addicted in the same way. If you had done that, you'd be truly setting him up for success. As is, he may just decide that vaping doesn't appeal to him, that he may still be curious about other formats of nicotine. The route you chose was misdirection and deceit, rather than facing the vulnerable truth that you're addicted to something that you know is bad for you to the point you're attempting to protect others from trying it, but that you are so marred in that addiction that you are not successfully stopping.

[00:21:27] [SPEAKER_00] I think that if you face your addiction honestly, it'd be enough to stop friends from picking up that path. The OP came in with an update and said, Literally the day after I told my mom about what I did, she went and messaged my friend's parents. I didn't know she was going to do that since the way I saw it, the situation was over. She also left out the fact that the vape was nicotine free, and really the whole point of what I was trying to do. From what I've been told, she said she thought they should know their son had been vaping, and that he got the vape from me,

[00:21:57] [SPEAKER_00] that I had come clean, apologized for my child's behavior, and even suggested it might be a good idea for them to keep him away from me. His parents didn't punish him or anything, since he messaged me on my phone right after, but they still confronted him and expressed their disappointment. When my friend told me, I felt horrible because this whole situation only existed because of me, and now he was in trouble based on an incomplete version of the story. I couldn't help thinking, maybe this whole lying to try and control the outcome thing runs in the family.

[00:22:25] [SPEAKER_00] If so, that would explain a lot. At that point, I knew I had to tell him the full story, to clear both my name and his. I told him that it was 0% nicotine that I picked that discussed in flavor on purpose, and that I should have just told him no, instead of trying to be clever about it. I apologized, and I understood if he was annoyed. I was bracing for him to be annoyed, but he took it really well. He said that both the bad first impression, and the kickoff is now caused at home, has just put him off the whole thing entirely. When I saw him in person,

[00:22:54] [SPEAKER_00] I gave him the vape juice bottle I used, that clearly says it has no nicotine, and told him to explain to them what really happened. Today, I asked him what happened. He said they apologized, and said they felt there was something off about the situation, from the way my mom spoke about it. Apparently, they were also pretty weirded out, by my mom suggesting, they should consider drug testing him. That did not land well with them at all. My friend said they even joked, she'd been spending too much time on mom's net. My mom's in a bit of a sour mood today. Not sure exactly why, but I can guess.

[00:23:24] [SPEAKER_00] I was an idiot for telling my mom anything. Commenter says to OP, thank you for the update. Does your mom always attract or provoke this much drama? She needs to be on an information diet. OP says yeah, but even for her, this is extra. Commenter says, speaking as someone whose mother was this way, it does not get better with time. Things probably got nuts by the time I was 20, living on my own. Just be vigilant. Commenter says, you're 19 and addicted, and seemingly making no effort to quit.

[00:23:54] [SPEAKER_00] Instead of telling your friend that, dude, this is the dumbest decision I ever made, I'm trying to quit. You try to trick him into not doing it. I'm glad this gave you the reason to tell him the truth, and he and his parents would have every right to be pissed at you for lying and misleading him. He could have been in danger if he then was offered a good tasting vape, or thinking the only different thing about it would be the taste. You're lucky it worked out as well as it did. I don't care if most people disagree with me. Never mislead people about what they're putting into their body, and make every effort to quit now. Otherwise,

[00:24:24] [SPEAKER_00] you are just a huge hypocrite who thinks they are amazing. Commenter says, what your mother is demonstrating is exactly why so many kids split from their parents and go zero contact. You genuinely did what appears to be the right thing given the situation. You confided in your mother, and she blew the whole thing out of the water, then told you an incomplete story to your friend's parents, and tried to start shit. This is a warning that you can't trust your mother, and it's not worth telling her anything in your life. It's a shame, but she quite literally bought this on herself.

[00:24:53] [SPEAKER_00] And there was many people after this one talking about the mum and her behavior, and saying that she's very sus. Other people saying OP was not the arsehole, other people talking about the addiction side of things, and how bad that can be. But what do you guys make of this situation? Let us know your thoughts down in the comments below. And just a huge thank you for being here today, getting involved in the stories, your love, your support, your time. It always means the absolute world to me. So thank you so, so much for being here,

[00:25:23] [SPEAKER_00] and hopefully I'll see you in the next one. Take care, and much love.