I'm REFUSING TO Give My Half Sister Any Of Our Grandmothers Jewellery r/Relationships

[00:00:01] Hey Waffle Gang, I do hope you are well. My name is Mark and today we're checking out some more Reddit Stories. And if you do love a Reddit Story, why not consider hitting that like, subscribe, maybe that notification bell too. And let's crack on with today's first story. Much love guys. Not sure why I found that funny today. And today's first story comes from SignalHope1009 and it says,

[00:00:24] Am I the arsehole for refusing to give my half sister any of our grandmothers jewellery after they excluded me for years? For context, I, 24 female, am the product of an affair. My father was married when I was born and his marriage fell apart because of it. My dad eventually divorced his now ex-wife and his three kids, my half siblings, 32 female, 30 male and 28 male have always resented me for it.

[00:00:52] I understand. What happened between our parents was messy and destroyed their happy family. But I was just a baby and they've punished me for it my whole life. Growing up, they excluded me from everything. They didn't want me around, made cruel comments when I was and acted like I didn't exist unless they were making me feel unwelcome. The worst part was when my mum passed away when I was 19. While I was mourning my mother's death, they openly celebrated.

[00:01:20] I found out they made jokes about how the trash took itself out and threw a party less than a month after the funeral to celebrate it. That broke me and I've been no contact with them for years over it. Our shared grandmother wasn't much better. She wasn't outright cruel to me, but she clearly favored my half-siblings. They spent vacations and summers with her while she barely acknowledged me. She also made it known on more than one occasion that she wanted her jewelry to go to my oldest half-sister,

[00:01:49] 32 female, when she passed away as the oldest female grandchild in the family, since she never had any daughters of her own. It was well established to everyone that knew her that this was her intention. However, she didn't leave a notarized will, so legally her estate went to my dad as her only child. To my shock, my dad gave the entire jewelry collection to me. He said he regretted how I'd been treated by the family and wanted me to have something meaningful.

[00:02:17] It was the first time he had ever done something to truly acknowledge me, and I was floored. Now, my half-siblings are furious, especially my oldest half-sister. She's demanding I give her some of the jewelry, claiming that since she was closer to our grandmother, and she had always intended for her sister to have it, it's unfair that I kept it all. She even said I wasn't really part of the family, and has been calling me selfish and accusing me of stealing what was rightfully hers. I refused.

[00:02:47] I told her that after years of being treated like garbage, I'm not giving up the one thing my dad has ever done to acknowledge me. She accused me of being bitter and petty, saying I'm using this to punish them for things that happened years ago. I'll admit, part of me feels like I'm finally getting some compensation for their horrible treatment of me. But the other part of me wonders if I'm being petty or cruel by keeping it all when the others were so much closer to her. So am I, the yourself.

[00:03:16] Edited to add, due to some people making assumptions about my mother. She did not know my father was married originally. They married after my father's divorce because, at the time, my mother could not support the two of us by herself, and being an unmarried pregnant woman was a major cultural taboo for her. My father spent a majority of his time home, when he actually bothered to come at all, trying to make it up to his children slash my half-siblings when it was his time with custody. As far as I am aware, my mother never treated them poorly.

[00:03:46] They tended to ignore her, and she did the same when they were around our house. Is it just me in this one, or does it feel like the dad's just stirring up trouble, whatever he does? Because he's watched his older kids and mother exclude and abuse OP for her entire life, including celebrating her mom's death, and did absolutely nothing. Then suddenly after his mother dies, he gives OP all this jewelry, knowing, come on, because you've got to know this,

[00:04:15] that it's going to cause massive drama with his other kids. It felt like to me as I was reading it, that he's just using OP to hurt the other children. If he really wanted to help OP or make amends with OP, he could have done that in any of the years this has been going on. It just feels like an incredibly sad situation, and the dad is there orchestrating the majority of it. But GND says no one's an arsehole here, but OP's father is truly an arsehole in this story.

[00:04:42] This needs to be a somewhat cautionary tale granny should have while she was alive and kicking. Simply give the jewelry to her favored granddaughter. All of this wading into a person's eyes just causes a lot of drama and toxic feelings. Electronic Ladder says not the arsehole. Next time they ask, tell them. Maybe you weren't actually close to grandma enough for her to make a will. Maybe grandma secretly loved me and told dad to give me all the jewelry. Now stop bothering me. Then block them.

[00:05:10] The Supreme Admiral says your dad is the arsehole in every sense. He had the affair. They are right about being angry about that, even if it isn't fair to blame you. They should be doing more to blame him. Second, your dad has clearly done nothing to protect you from the consequences of his actions. If his family didn't want you around, then he should never have put you into a position to be abused by them. Again, they are rightfully angry. You should have gone your life with minimum interaction with them, but he forced you to be around them until you were an adult

[00:05:38] who could legally cut contact without his say. Third, he should not have given you that jewelry. If his mother hated you, then it was a grave insult to her memory to gift you that stuff. They are, again, right to be angry. Not angry with you, but to be angry. He created this drama and now you're suffering the consequences. I should point out that gifting you the jewelry is shitty to you, not just his family. Your life has been shit because of his mistakes. Does a bribe really fix that?

[00:06:08] Can he buy your love and forgiveness? That isn't compensation. He tossed you a hot potato drama bomb and he should have fucking known it. It's fucking obvious. Yes, absolutely said it better than I could with that hot potato drama bomb. That's exactly what it is. Lynn Diesel says, I'm going against the grain. You're the asshole, but obviously your dad is the biggest one. Disregarding someone's wishes after they die is so disrespectful and gross.

[00:06:33] That jewelry is sentimental and was promising a relationship that was separate than your own. Just because you were treated poorly doesn't give you the excuse to act poorly. It isn't karma or reparations for your childhood. You want to hurt them. How you act now says a lot about your character. Would your mom be proud? How would you feel if someone disregarded her last wishes? When they go low, we go high. Rise above them and be better than them. By nefariousness says, I don't know.

[00:07:02] I wouldn't want anything from a dead woman that treated me that way. Also, now you're enforcing another reason of why they should hate you. I'm still not the asshole, but you're excluding your father. He's the reason that they treat you that way. He's never stood up to his family for you. Just because he gave you jewelry doesn't make it right. Making it right would be telling his family off for you. Snoo Cricket says, soft, you're the asshole. I'm sorry for how you were treated. No child should go through that. But if everyone knew the jewelry was supposed to go to the oldest daughter,

[00:07:32] you really should do what your grandmother wanted. Your dad should have given it to her instead of you. You weren't close to her, so it's not like it's to remember her. Deep down, unless you like specific pieces, it is really about money and being petty. Your grandmother should have had a will, bottom line, so your dad can do what he wants. But you both know that's not what she wanted. Maybe give her a realistic price to buy them from you. Again, I can't see you keeping it for sentiment purposes, if she was horrible to you.

[00:08:01] So, OP came in with her update and says, first, I want to thank everyone for the responses, advice, and support. I never expected this post to gain so much attention, and it's been overwhelming, but also incredibly validating to know that so many of you understand where I'm coming from. After reading through the comments and reflecting on everything, I decided to stand firm in my decision to keep the jewelry. This is the first meaningful gesture my dad has ever made towards me, and I'm not going to give it up,

[00:08:29] especially to people who have done nothing but make me feel like an outsider my entire life, for a greater clarification. The jewelry also represents a greater apology to me. No one has ever apologized for the treatment I faced throughout my entire childhood, even when I chose to cut them off. Not for the constant name-calling, not for the actual slurs they would regularly call me, not for the unwanted comments of my weight, and how I was a pig just like my mother. None of it. Before this, the only apology I've ever received,

[00:08:59] even tangentially relating to my childhood. And yes, I am very aware of how bitter I sound here. That said, I didn't want to completely close the door on reconciliation, so I reached out to my dad to discuss everything. I asked him why he gave the jewelry to me, and what he thought about the backlash from my half-siblings. He admitted that he regrets how he handled things during my childhood, and feels that he prioritized his other kids at my expense. Giving me the jewelry was his way of trying to make amends, even if it's late.

[00:09:28] I also told him about how my half-siblings were treating me now, and the things they had said about my mom in the past. He was upset and said he would speak to them about their current behavior, though that wasn't my intention, and I doubt it will make much of a difference. As for my half-siblings, the situation has only escalated. My oldest half-sister, 32 female, sent a long message accusing me of being vindictive and selfish, still claiming that I'm taking the jewelry out of spite. Which I suppose is partially true.

[00:09:57] She tried to guilt trip me again by bringing up how close she was to our grandmother, and how much she wanted these specific pieces to remember her by. I didn't respond, but I saved the messages in case things get worse. Unexpectedly, my middle half-brother, 30 male, reached out privately. He admitted he was wrong for how he treated me in the past and apologized. He said he doesn't care about the jewelry, and just wants to move forward. I told him I appreciated his apology,

[00:10:24] but I need time to process everything before I can even consider having a relationship with him. I'm still in no contact with my oldest half-sister and youngest half-brother. At this point, I don't see that changing. To those wondering about the jewelry itself, I decided to have some of the pieces appraised and restored. I plan to wear a few of them on special occasions and keep the rest stored safely. They hold sentimental value to me now. Not because of my grandmother,

[00:10:51] but because they represent a step towards my dad finally seeing me as part of the family, even if it's imperfect and overdue. That said, after speaking with my middle half-brother, I've come to understand most of my half-sister's anger and attacks come from a place of grief. As such, I plan to give her my grandmother's favorite pair of earrings. She wore them constantly, and while I doubt my sister will have any gratitude towards me, I'm sure she'll appreciate the gesture nonetheless. Thanks again for all the support.

[00:11:20] This whole situation has been messy, but I feel more confident in my decision now. If anything else significant happens, I'll update again. ETA and the comments have made me realize that I've probably been giving my sister too much benefit of the doubt. While I do want to return the earrings to her, I think I'll offer to let her buy them back instead. Though for the people concerned that letting her take them may incite her to sue me for the rest, I'll see how soon I can speak to a lawyer for a consultation.

[00:11:47] For me, I just feel like the dad's just... I don't know if it's intentional or just stupidity, but he's made these decisions all the way that's affected his whole family, tore his family apart. And like I said before, he had years to make it up to you. He could have bought you new jewelry and gifted it to you as a way of saying sorry. But instead of doing that, he took something that was willed to someone else and gave it to you instead, creating an even bigger wedge between you all. Opie said it was like the first meaningful gesture,

[00:12:17] and it just... That's incredibly sad because, you know, that was so easy for him. He's given up nothing of value to himself. And I just feel like one day this is going to be even messier. But what do you guys make of this situation? There was a whole mix of comments, majority of them against the dad, but what to do about the jewelry. Some people saying, you know, it was willed to her. They wouldn't be able to keep it themselves. Other people saying, you know, absolutely keep the jewelry. What are your thoughts on that?

[00:12:47] Let us know your thoughts down in the comments below. And let's move on to another story. Our next story comes from ExpensiveWaltz1033 from the Am I the Arsehole Here subreddit. It says, Am I the Arsehole here for not giving my niece the gift I planned for my goddaughter? My niece, Alexa, female 14, and my goddaughter, Daisy, female 8, are both born in December, just a few days apart. I don't really get along with my sister,

[00:13:15] so my contact with my niece are limited to family birthdays, Christmas and Easter. I don't know much about Alexa, just that she's very introverted. She barely speaks during a family gathering, as she loves books and always had headphones on, but I had no idea what kind of music she liked. Daisy is my best friend's daughter. Her mother and I have been best friends since middle school, and I've been part of Daisy's life since day one. I'm a big K-pop fan, and recently Daisy has picked up my passion.

[00:13:45] She loves my favorite K group, and has gone as far as learning lyrics and choreographies. So for her birthday, I decided to do something special, and buy tickets for their upcoming concert in January. It is a pretty expensive gift, considering tickets, travel, and accommodation, and I was more focused on the memories we would build, thanks to this experience. Last week, my sister heard me talking to my mum about what I planned for Daisy's birthday. She told me that Alexa loves the same K group, and asked me to take it at a concert too,

[00:14:15] as a birthday gift. I explained to her that it wasn't possible, as I'd already bought the tickets, and I wouldn't be able to find another one, as the concert was already sold out. Plus, I couldn't really afford a three-people trip. So she suggested that I took Alexa, since she's older and my real niece. I told her that this whole trip was planned for Daisy, and it wasn't fair for me to ask to change her gift in favor of Alexa. I told her that there'd be other occasions, and now that I know of Alexa's love for the group,

[00:14:44] I'd make sure to gift her something related, like official merchandise or a signed album. She called me an arsehole, and accused me of loving a stranger more than my blood. My mother later told me that I was being unfair, and that a teen would appreciate a concert more than an eight-year-old. Am I the arsehole here? The first commenter says, not the arsehole. Your sister purposely chose not to allow you to have a close relationship with her daughter, to punish you for refusing to give in to her demands over the years,

[00:15:12] and refused to agree with her all the time. That was her choice, to act like you were the toxic one, and she kept you from forming a close bond with your niece. Now she decides that it's okay for you to be around her child, because you bought tickets to a concert for your goddaughter. Um, no, that's not how true family works. Please make sure your family knows that the real reason your niece isn't going to the concert this year is only because of your sister. Because had she allowed you to be around your niece for the 14 years she's been alive,

[00:15:42] and allowed you to form a bond with her, the same way your friend did, then you would have known that your niece liked the band too, and your niece would definitely have been invited. Maybe now your sister will allow you to be in her daughter's life. But she only has herself to blame that her daughter isn't doing fun stuff with her auntie. She is the only one who pushed to keep you out of her life for 14 years. Your niece missed out on trips to the zoo with you as a small child, missed out on going to the theater to see awesome movies, missed out on going to the park,

[00:16:10] missed out on having fun shopping together, et cetera. All the fun stuff you did with your friend's child. Your sister purposely didn't allow you to take your niece. So she doesn't now get to dictate that your niece is suddenly allowed to go to an event that you've planned with your goddaughter, because your sister waited until the concert sold out to say her daughter could go. Because if your sister had chosen to be in your life these past 14 years, she would have known about this before the tickets even went on sale, because you were so excited about it. Her child had missed out on so much

[00:16:40] for 14 years. That's on her. That's exactly how she wanted it. She can't decide last minute that it's your fault her child wasn't included, because there's no way that you'd even knew the things your niece even likes. How could you know? You've been exiled from your nieces for 14 years. Enjoy the concert with your friend's daughter and have the best time. Opie says it's sad, but true. I mean, it's not just my sister's fault. I never pushed for a closer relationship, mainly because there's always

[00:17:09] some kind of drama with her. But I have so much core memories with Daisy and barely anything with Alexa. She's my niece, but she just feels like a stranger to me. Someone says about Opie closer to their niece or having any special bonding. Opie says, we're not close, I guess. I don't see her much. Maybe I'm a piece of shit aunt for never trying to get to know her better. But I don't think swapping gifts would somehow make up for my mistakes. I barely speak to her. I don't know if she has a food allergy or anything of matter, really.

[00:17:38] She's very closed off. Honestly, I'm happy we have something to talk about finally, but I wouldn't feel comfortable taking her out of town for three days. Commenter says to Opie, do you think Alexa was being nice saying she wouldn't like the concert? Or do you think she really wouldn't like it? There's a possibility here that everyone is fighting to have Alexa go to a concert that she wouldn't even enjoy. Not the asshole. Your sister is the worst. Opie says, I think it was a defense. Maybe a concert would be too overwhelming for her or maybe not.

[00:18:07] But I'm pretty sure she was acting mature to A, show she was grateful. B, not show the hurt she was feeling. So nearly a month later, Opie updated the post and says, first of all, thank you for all the kind comments. It was awesome to read that I was not being unreasonable since it doesn't happen often in my family. If you need a reminder or if you've not read my previous post, here's a link and share the link. I decided to post this update since last Sunday was Alexa's birthday

[00:18:36] and this Saturday will be Daisy's. Also, I'm sorry in advance if I make any mistakes. English is not my first language. I'm trying my best. So as I said, Sunday was Alexa's birthday. Even though what my sister and my mother told me about gift swapping and Daisy not being really family pissed me off. Alexa had no blame in all of this and I felt kind of bad to give her a generic gift. I tried to talk to my sister to know what kind of merch Alexa would love to have or at least she already had in her collection.

[00:19:06] I was told to go fuck myself and that Alexa didn't need my pity second thought gift since she was not going to be helpful I asked my brother-in-law. Fortunately, he was very happy to help and also grateful that I was taking an interest in Alexa. He told me that my niece has social anxiety. She has no close friends and her only outlet are our books, K-pop and K-drama. Apparently, my sister is always on her case because of that. Anyway, I decided to buy her the group official light stick, a plushie of his favorite member mascot

[00:19:36] and the new release signed album. I went a bit crazy, I know, but I was feeling pretty guilty. I swear I don't remember Alexa giving me a true smile until she opened the presents. She lit up from within and gave me the longest and biggest hug. She was super excited because she was saving an order to buy the light stick. I told her that maybe next tour we could go to a concert together and use our light stick and that's where my sister ruined it. She scoffed and said in front of everyone,

[00:20:07] yeah, because we all know that this year you're going with your favorite. Of course, Alexa takes the back seat. I could feel how hurt and embarrassed Alexa was, but she put on a brave face and thanked me for all the presents and she told me that she didn't want to go to the concert since it was crowded and too loud. But maybe she had come to my flat sometimes to play Zelda and read manga. When my sister tried to say that I'm too busy, I shut her up and told my niece she's always welcome. Also, I overheard sister and brother-in-law discussing in the kitchen.

[00:20:36] She was livid with her. All in all, I think it went well. Now I'm just waiting for Daisy's birthday surprise. Someone said to OP, not the arsehole, no offense OP, but your sister sounds like a raging, salty bitch who seems to take more pleasure in being passive aggressive than being kind towards her daughter. The fact that she actively tries to ruin her own daughter's excitement at the gifts like that is awful and I wouldn't be surprised if those kind of actions are what caused your niece's social anxiety. Your brother-in-law sounds like he's got

[00:21:06] his priorities straight at least. OP says, my sister has always been like this. She loves drama. She loves being passive aggressive with me during our childhood. When I was 12 and she was 16, I had a crush on a history project partner. She told him and humiliated me in front of him. I always wanted a relationship with Alexa, especially because kids are not an option for me. But she always had something on me and my mental health could not deal with her drama honestly. After almost four years of therapy, I'm much better and I know

[00:21:35] how to deal with her. If Alexa wants a relationship, I'll make sure it'll happen. And there was a couple of comments suggesting that OP should have prioritized their niece instead of Daisy. OP says one, I take care of Daisy a lot because her mother is an only child and the relationship with her hubby's family is not great. So I know how much a work trip and concert is going to be. That's why I planned the trip with Daisy in mind and that's also part of why I didn't want to switch gifts. Two, I went to a concert with my older cousin when I was nine. I didn't even like

[00:22:05] the artist that much but I still remember it vividly because that was the reason I love live events today. Maybe Daisy will forget everything but there's a chance that 30 years from now, she'll take her own children to a concert because of this memory. Three, in my culture, going out with kids is pretty normal. For the most part, they do what adults do like going to the theater or the concert and festival. Also, Daisy is very sweet and well behaved. Ugh, when the sister interjected

[00:22:34] and tried to call OP out in front of Alexa after she was happy receiving her gifts and I thought exactly like the comments and thinking, yeah, you can see where that social anxiety is coming from now, right? Gee, bloody whiz. But what do you guys make of this situation? Let us know your thoughts down in the comments below. Now, just a huge thank you from the bottom of my heart for getting involved in today's stories, your love, your support, your time. It always means the absolute world to me. So thank you so, so much. And hopefully, I'll see you in the next one.

[00:23:04] Take care and much love.