I Was Removed From The Wedding In Front Of Everyone & My Partner Just Watched! | r/AmIOverreacting

[00:00:02] [SPEAKER_00] Hey Waffle Gang, I do hope you're well. My name is Mark and today we're checking out some more Reddit Stories. And if you do love a Reddit Story, why not consider it a like, subscribe, maybe that notification bell too. And let's crack on with today's first story. Much love guys. Today we're going to be checking out some Am I Overreacting stories in today's episode. Our first one is from Vittoria Vici. And it says,

[00:00:28] [SPEAKER_00] 24-year-old female was just uninvited from a wedding that had already started. Am I overreacting? Today, my 24 male partner and I, 24 female, let's call him Eric, were invited to the wedding of one of his oldest friends from school. We received our save the date months ago and the invite was addressed to Eric and Vicky. Our invite stated, we're invited for the whole shebang, the service, the breakfast and the evening reception.

[00:00:57] [SPEAKER_00] Our RSVP required both of our dietary requirements for the breakfast, which we replied to ages ago. I thought this was pretty awesome and generous of the bride and groom, as I never met either of them and Eric was only close with the bride. So it was a very nice gesture. The wedding is a few hours away from where we live and since neither of us drive, I booked train tickets in advance, which came to about £60 each return and an Airbnb, which worked out at £90 between us.

[00:01:27] [SPEAKER_00] We don't earn a lot, so this is quite a big spend to justify. However, since they had invited us to the whole wedding, we thought it would be rude not to go. The bride also specified colours we should wear, so I bought a new outfit since I didn't have anything formal that would be suitable. Not the end of the world, but with Christmas coming up, it was a bit difficult and I had to be really frugal all through November to make it work.

[00:01:51] [SPEAKER_00] Total spend was probably double what I would spend monthly on fun stuff like going out for dinner or drinks or new clothes. We got to the service and it was beautiful. The bride looked lovely and it was very emotional. I get nervous at weddings, couldn't say why, and so I hadn't eaten beforehand, figuring the four-course breakfast would fill me up nicely. After the ceremony, we went straight into the venue to have drinks and sit down at tables.

[00:02:18] [SPEAKER_00] We were towards the back of the line into the venue and so half the congregation had already sat down. We glanced at the seating plan, saw Eric's name and headed over. There was no place setting for me. Eric found his name, but there weren't any free seats at the table. Eric sat down and I asked an usher whether there was a mistake. He didn't know, so he waved over the bride. She and I had never met before, but she seemed friendly until she opened her mouth.

[00:02:48] [SPEAKER_00] She said, This was in front of most of the guests who had already sat down in a big venue, probably 140-ish seats. The usher suggested I go to the pub. Eric didn't know what to do, but didn't want to cause a scene, so he stayed put and quiet. I quite literally have never felt so embarrassed and humiliated in my life. I left and it was raining heavily.

[00:03:18] [SPEAKER_00] I hadn't brought an umbrella since it was an indoor wedding and being in a rural place, I had to walk about 20 minutes to get anywhere else. The usher suggested a pub where the other guests are, so I just kept walking. But my shoes were literally ruined and soaked through. As well as being pretty damn cold because it's December and I was dressed for a wedding. I got to the pub to find a handful of merrymakers drinking heavily at 2pm in wedding clothes. Introduced myself kind of awkwardly as they were total strangers.

[00:03:47] [SPEAKER_00] And they were luckily really nice. They invited me to sit with them and tell them about the service. All of them had only been invited to the reception. I asked one of them if I could see their invite and it was crystal clear that they were evening guests. There was no mention of the service or the breakfast nor their dietary requirements. I apparently was the only person who was invited and then uninvited to do the whole do. I sat with them and had some food because I was starving.

[00:04:15] [SPEAKER_00] But they all started leaving to get ready at about 4pm. Being a total stranger, I didn't think it was best to ask to come with them. But I had never been to this town before. And besides Eric, I didn't know anybody. Since being ejected at 1.30pm-ish, I was expected to hang until 7.30pm when the reception started. So, I left. I feel so unwelcome and unwanted that I just wanted to go home.

[00:04:42] [SPEAKER_00] The evening due will start in about half an hour without me. And I just can't bring myself to attend knowing that half the guests watched me being asked to leave by the bride herself. I traded in my train ticket which was a return for tomorrow. And now I'm traveling back alone. I texted Eric to tell him, but he didn't respond. I've been holding back tears since I was ejected, 6 hours ago. And I feel completely torn. I don't understand what happened with the invite.

[00:05:09] [SPEAKER_00] Whether it was a mistake or whether I was just supposed to know that it was only for Eric. Despite being addressed to both of us. Despite asking for both of our dietary requirements. Despite explicitly stating we were invited to the whole wedding. Part of me feels like I should have gone to the evening reception too. But I'm soaked through. My hair and makeup look awful. My shoes are unwearable. I'm barefoot on a really gross floor right now. And I'm freezing. I look a mess. And I feel so stupid. Did I mess up here?

[00:05:39] [SPEAKER_00] I feel like I've been totally fucked over. And I'm really upset that Eric didn't stand up for me or say anything or leave the breakfast with me. Although I think there's less because of malice and more just because he's a bit hopeless when put on the spot. I've never heard of a wedding where you invite a plus one by name. But then they aren't invited to as much of the wedding as the other half of the couple. Nobody else at the wedding had this happen. I don't see how it can be personal since I've never met any of them before.

[00:06:07] [SPEAKER_00] I'm really upset and can't wrap my head around how weird today has been. If this happened to you, what would you do? There was either a huge amount of incompetence here or there was some deliberate cruel thing going on from the bride in this situation. The fact that they was requesting your actual dietary requirements says that you should be there. But the real question for me on this is Eric. Why the fuck didn't he leave with you? He just sat there and did absolutely nothing.

[00:06:36] [SPEAKER_00] Just not leaving with you, not responding to your texts for hours. And I would have done exactly the same as Opie in this situation. I would have went home. Like she said, she was soaking wet through. Her shoes were ruined. Feels like absolute shit. There's no way you're going to attend that wedding in the evening, is there? And that's without the bride already making her feelings clear on this. It's going to be really interesting to know what Eric is going to say for himself after this. But in the edit it says,

[00:07:06] [SPEAKER_00] Thank you everyone for your words of support. It's really helped and I've gone from a wobbly wet mess to a cackling harpy with a big glass of wine. You guys don't hold back on your opinions and I kind of love it. It's now nearly bedtime here. Eric stayed at the party and presumably is still there. I came home and feel a lot better for knowing how shitty a situation this was. Karma's a bitch. And when they go low, we go high. So I'm going to go to bed and sleep on it and think about the next steps in the morning.

[00:07:36] [SPEAKER_00] A lot of people think I should dump Eric. Whereas that has never crossed my mind. Was mostly pissed off with a bride and the maid of honor. Have been involved too. I don't know. Eric will be coming home sometime tomorrow and we're going to talk. I want to hear his piece because he's been drinking since lunchtime. He might just be a dumb dumb rather than a full blown arsehole. Either way, no wind up, sudden decisions right now. I will try and come back and update as and when anything else happens.

[00:08:06] [SPEAKER_00] Thanks everyone. Plain truthfulness says to AP, the person who messed up was the bride. It was an utter word I don't use but she is. And Eric who is appalling. I absolutely cannot believe that he didn't walk out with you. What the hell was he thinking? Did he used to date the bride or the bride's sister? AP says, funny you say that. The maid of honor is his ex. Mm-hmm. Although we're not aware until we saw her name in the wedding booklet at the ceremony that she would even be there.

[00:08:35] [SPEAKER_00] However, there is a lot of bad blood between them. If she was going to intervene to remove anybody, it would have been him. Two Oranges says, this is the tackiest thing I've ever heard. There's a chance that there was a mix up or oversight with the invitations. But in that case, the bride should have taken you and Eric aside to apologize and see what could be done to fix it. But the way it was handled was completely unacceptable. I'm so, so sorry for you. Also, despite your boyfriend being put on the spot. It's been hours now, right?

[00:09:05] [SPEAKER_00] He should have leapt into action by now. OTL says,

[00:09:40] [SPEAKER_00] Not sure what you can really do now though. It didn't sound like you tried to correct the bride that you were invited to the breakfast. Maybe vent to the boyfriend? Have a stern talking to him? Another commenter says, Nothing that happened to you was okay. You did nothing wrong. The bride was graciously rude to you. Both by not inviting you to all the wedding stuff and by kicking you out. But the real star of the show here is your boyfriend. Shout out to him to being the biggest turd I've seen about in a while or making you leave by yourself.

[00:10:10] [SPEAKER_00] There's no universe in which he was justified in staying there after you were told to leave. I don't care if he didn't want to make a scene. The only appropriate response was for him to leave with you and the two of you to go somewhere nice for a meal and then go home. I love it when people get called a turd. So it was 10 days after this that OP came in with their update and said, Basically, I went to a wedding and my boyfriend's oldest friend from school and got uninvited from the wedding breakfast as it was starting.

[00:10:39] [SPEAKER_00] My boyfriend stayed at the wedding. I hadn't expected a big reaction to my first post and I just want to say thank you to everyone who gave advice and was supportive. I was feeling super shitty when I initially posted and after an hour of drinking wine and reading your comments, I felt a lot more sane and calm. I wanted to clarify a few things that people were confused about or that weren't clear in my first post. I'm in the UK and our weddings are different to the way weddings are held in the US. Traditionally, there is a ceremony,

[00:11:08] [SPEAKER_00] the wedding breakfast, which is a sit-down three-course meal. Although it's called a breakfast, it is usually in the afternoon, followed by speeches, and then an evening reception, which is like a disco. It's not uncommon for people to invite only relatives and close friends to the ceremony and breakfast than invite lots of evening guests for the reception. However, it is uncommon to invite somebody to the ceremony and reception, but not the breakfast, as they're kind of left to entertain themselves somewhere for six hours.

[00:11:37] [SPEAKER_00] Haven't talked to friends and co-workers since last weekend. What happened to me was a serious no-no in terms of etiquette. Me and Eric had been together for nearly a year and a half. We live together and we have a pretty strong relationship. We had no past romantic connections with the bride, I call her Marie, which some people were asking about. They went to school together from the age of four to ten and remained in touch as pen pals and Facebook friends since then. They rarely see each other in person

[00:12:04] [SPEAKER_00] and the wedding was the first time he would see her in about two years. There was zero phone signal at the venue. We noticed this when we arrived for the ceremony and were a little annoyed as the wedding had a hashtag which we couldn't exactly tweet about with no signal. This is important later. We didn't know this until we arrived at the wedding, but the maid of honor, Helen, was Eric's ex-girlfriend. They were together for three years and she cheated on him and dumped him. They have a lot of bad blood

[00:12:32] [SPEAKER_00] and do not have any contact with each other. Okay, so on to the update. After leaving the ceremony, I got straight on the train and went back to my hometown. I was on the train when I wrote my first post. When I got home, I told my parents everything and they weren't particularly impressed and like most of the posters here, they were perplexed that Eric hadn't come with me. My mom gave me a big hug, ran me a bath and poured me a glass of wine and I just tried to relax and forget about my day from hell. I still hadn't heard from Eric.

[00:13:02] [SPEAKER_00] But texted him to let him know that I was home safe and would see him tomorrow. Eric texted me back about 9pm, asking me what I meant by home. Home or the Airbnb that we had booked nearby the venue. I clarified and he said, okay, I'll see you tomorrow. Love you so much. With a kiss. Didn't really know what to make of it since the whole day had just been such a massive fuck up. So I finished my wine, watched a Disney movie and went to bed. The next morning, given I still hadn't really heard from Eric at all,

[00:13:32] [SPEAKER_00] I assumed he'd be getting in about midday. So I got up early and started wrapping Christmas presents. At 8am, I heard the key in the door and what do you know, it's Eric. Still in his creased suit with red eyes and looking like death. He wasn't really making sense, so I made him have a shower and warm up. Made coffee and decided to talk once he was looking human again. We sat down together and pieced together his side of the story. Basically, once I had left,

[00:14:01] [SPEAKER_00] Eric was absolutely livid with Marie. He'd frozen like a deer in headlights when she was asking me to go and was kicking himself that he hadn't done the right thing. About 10 minutes after I left, Marie turned around and said, oh, actually, a few people haven't turned up. Get Vicky to come back. We have space for her now. And Eric tried to call me. Because there was no phone signal anywhere near the venue, he couldn't get through. And Marie pretty much immediately said, oh, well, never mind. She didn't want to be here anyway,

[00:14:29] [SPEAKER_00] which obviously was a pile of crap and made Eric feel rubbish. The meal was a very formal sit-down affair, so he just kind of grinned and bared it, assuming I'd be coming back in the evening. Eric was the only person mentioned in the speeches by Marie's father, who wasn't a family member, and apparently it was clear to everyone how disappointed he was that I wasn't there to share it with him. I text him about 6 p.m. to let him know I was going home. He never received it. He was only able to text me at 9 p.m.

[00:14:59] [SPEAKER_00] by hiking down the road for five minutes to find a signal. All the while, his ex, Helen, was being sickly sweet, asking where I was. Why didn't I want to come and enjoy the party? Was I shy? Apparently with quite the evil glint in her eye, like she got exactly what she wanted. Neither of us knew she was the maid of honor until we got there. And given their bad relationship, Eric was pretty pissed off that Marie had failed to mention that she had such a prominent role in the wedding. Whether Helen was behind the seating error, I don't know.

[00:15:29] [SPEAKER_00] But if she was, then Marie was just as bad in enabling it to happen. So Eric stayed at the wedding, miserably, and went back to the Airbnb afterwards alone. He barely slept, feeling angry at Marie and Helen for fucking with us and at himself for not sticking up for me, and left at 4.30 a.m. To get the first train home, hence why he was back at our place so early. He wasn't really apologetic to me at all. He didn't really seem to see how it was shitty for me.

[00:15:56] [SPEAKER_00] He more felt like he had been insulted by the situation and let down by his oldest friend. He's cutting off Marie and doesn't want anything else to do with her. So yeah, that was Eric's take on the whole thing. To be honest, I was pretty pissed that in all of this, he hadn't really considered how I felt or what it had been like for me getting thrown out of the wedding. While what he had gone through was pretty crummy, he at least had been warm, dry, and well-fed. The indignation of your girlfriend being removed from an event you're at

[00:16:25] [SPEAKER_00] isn't really as bad as being the girlfriend, getting soaked in the rain, feeling humiliated, and all the rest. So, we talked and I laid out why I wasn't okay with what happened and why his reaction wasn't okay. He can be a bit of a lemon sometimes and this feels like one of those times. He didn't step up to the plate. He just let the world wash over him and acted as a bystander. I'm still hurt by his actions and he still hasn't really apologized properly. I don't know if he understands that he did wrong too, but this isn't a deal breaker for me.

[00:16:55] [SPEAKER_00] It's a heavy straw on the camel's back, but the camel is still standing. We have a really lovely Christmas coming up and after a really long autumn of working hard, all I want to do is go back to the happy place we were before this fuck-up and honestly, I don't want to think about it. So, I know a lot of you guys are going to drag me over the hot coals for this one, but we're still together. I'm not going to break up with him over this, but it's a big dark mark on his record. As far as I'm concerned, he needs to get a lot of extra credit

[00:17:24] [SPEAKER_00] to get a pass this year, to use a terrible analogy, and I expect him to step up and really try to do better from now on. It's not really an ultimatum, but I'm willing to put this behind us if he can prove to me that he's invested and try and harder in his relationship from now on. If he doesn't, then I won't be sticking around. I love him a lot, but he needs to have my back and be empathetic to what I'm going through. I'm sorry this wasn't the victorious breakup update so many of you wanted,

[00:17:53] [SPEAKER_00] but I want a nice happy Christmas together. I'm not ruling it out as an option if things don't improve, but I want to give him another chance to prove this relationship is worth it. So, there was some commenters on the back of this one Throw the Switch says things to think about. If Marie said only 10 minutes after you left that you could stay, why didn't he come and physically find you after his call didn't go through? If Marie said only 10 minutes after you left that you could stay, why didn't he go and find the signal to call you

[00:18:22] [SPEAKER_00] five minutes away and his call didn't go through? Why didn't he try to find the signal to call you again only five minutes away until 9 p.m.? Another commenter says, quoting, still together, then says, yeah, that's the important thing. You haven't lost him. And as for dragging you over the coals, you're going to be the one to live with this selfish, conceited carpet, so really there's nothing more I can add that will push the point home more than some more occasions

[00:18:51] [SPEAKER_00] where he just dumps you at the side of the road because he's offended by how they disrespected him by treating you badly. The commenter that we just read says makes a good point. He didn't even try to catch you up, go down the road to contact you or even leave in disgust because all he could think about was his own hurt feelings. You've got a great life coming. Opie says, I've set a deadline in my head where I need to see significant improvement in a few areas of the relationship which I have told him is important

[00:19:20] [SPEAKER_00] if he wants us to stay together. And if that doesn't happen, I'm gone. If he messes up big time before then, I'm gone. Just giving him one last chance to pull himself up by his bootstraps and prove it's worth staying for. And many of the comments were just absolutely confused by his behavior like why didn't he leave with her etc. Why didn't he follow her to try and get her back, you know, find some signal somewhere to get in contact with her and just pointing out that it just seemed to be all about him. However,

[00:19:51] [SPEAKER_00] just to add that Opie created another post, cover the post but it does confirm that, you know, she did split up with this guy in the end. That post came three years later so at some point that relationship absolutely fell apart. Which I think is fair to say isn't really a huge surprise. But what do you guys make of this situation? Let us know your thoughts down in the comments below and let's move on to another story. Now our next story

[00:20:20] [SPEAKER_00] is also from the Am I Overreacting subreddit from Specken Zdeutsch who says Am I Overreacting? My ex-wife and her new husband legally made their last name my full fucking name. You cannot make this shit up. I was married once. My ex-wife blew it all to hell by cheating on me with one of my closest fucking friends. That betrayal crushed me but whatever. I rebuilt. She kept my last name after the divorce. Weird but I let it go.

[00:20:50] [SPEAKER_00] Fast forward she marries the guy she cheated with. Fine. Closure. Good for them. But here's where it goes off the rails. A new husband's last name is the same as my first name. So when they hyphenated their big shiny new married surname is now my entire fucking legal name. Imagine your name is David Carter. The guy she cheats with is named John David. They marry hyphenate and proudly announce themselves as Mr. and Mrs. David Carter

[00:21:19] [SPEAKER_00] which is literally your name. They're on Facebook smiling, posting here's the new official Mr. and Mrs. David Carter. Meanwhile I'm staring at my phone thinking holy fuck my ex-wife and her affair partner just legally rebranded themselves as me. And no my name isn't common. People are going to see it and assume it's me. So tell me am I losing my mind here? Or is this just as completely fucked up as it feels? Edit I'm not on their social media. A mutual acquaintance

[00:21:49] [SPEAKER_00] sent me a screenshot with adjoining text. What the fuck is wrong with them? Edit 2 If anybody would like proof please wager $20 or more and I will gladly supply you proof and my Venmo. One of the top commenters said to OP on this It's a win on your side. You'll be a constant reminder a constant presence weighing on their marriage. Every time she assigns something she'll think of you. Every time someone will call her by her full name Mrs. John David she'll think of you whether she wants it or not.

[00:22:19] [SPEAKER_00] Right now it's fine. They're in the honeymoon phase but eventually they both feel it after every fight. Every disagreement especially if or when one of them cheat. Meanwhile you have an objectively funny story to tell. Sorry OP and get to move on with your life. They don't. But then moving on will be impossible. Mistress replied to that saying My ex-husband married a woman I had gone to school with. She is a year younger same name just different spelling. Think Mary Q. White spelling

[00:22:48] [SPEAKER_00] W-H-I-T-E versus Mary Q. White spelling W-H-Y-T-E I found it hilarious until they used my SSN to get credit lines and credit cards ran them up and let them go to collections. I spent years cleaning up the mess. This started in the early 90s and went through to the early 2000s. Every time I thought it was all finished some piece of shit company would buy the debts and start the whole mess back up again. I truly despise him. And another commenter

[00:23:18] [SPEAKER_00] responded to that saying this is the comment I was looking for. If new husband has OP's whole name and ex-wife knows OP's social security number or other credit slash ID info they're about to rack up debt as OP. They've already proven themselves to be scummy cheaters. A little fraud seems in character. OP needs to freeze their credit or put on a fraud warning immediately. Lock it all down. And there was many people pointing out potential fraud along those lines which is absolutely scary isn't it?

[00:23:47] [SPEAKER_00] It turns from a situation like what the fuck are they doing to hold on is this what they're doing? But now I'm going to turn this one to you guys. What do you guys make of this situation? How would you deal with it if it was you? Let us know your thoughts down in the comments below. Just a huge thank you for being here today getting involved in the stories once again for sharing all your yearly recaps from Spotify from YouTube or whatever podcast you're listening from. I'm seeing them all over the place at the minute they throw

[00:24:16] [SPEAKER_00] like ex-blue sky in and in my emails as well. Gee bloody whiz there's a lot of bloody videos in there. Honestly thank you so much for your time I never take it for granted and I'm incredibly grateful for you listening to me you know I find it absolutely wild still but thank you so so much and hopefully I'll see you in the next one. Take care and much love.