I Didn't Show Up To My Nephew's Party With The Cupcakes I Said I Would Bake | r/AITA

[00:00:02] [SPEAKER_00] Hey Waffle Gang, I do hope you're well. My name is Mark and today we're checking out some more Reddit stories. And if you do love a Reddit story, why not consider hitting that like, subscribe, maybe that notification bell too. Let's crack on with today's first story. Much love guys. Now today's first story comes from the Am I The Arsehole subreddit from LiveSet5847. And it says,

[00:00:27] [SPEAKER_00] Am I The Arsehole for showing up to my nephew's birthday party without the cupcakes I said I would bake. A couple of weeks ago was my nephew Sam's 10th birthday. I love Sam so much. I will probably not be lucky enough to have my own son, so I'm so happy to be able to know him. But I don't have a great relationship with my older brother. He did everything the right way. Good grades, good school, good job, good wife.

[00:00:53] [SPEAKER_00] I've always been jealous at how easily being normal comes to him. I did not do well in school. Got in a lot of trouble. Didn't finish college. I've always picked shitty boyfriends. Basically every wrong choice you could make. Suffice to say, he and I are not on the same page. And he doesn't take me seriously. But the one thing he does appreciate is that I can bake. He asked if I could bake cupcakes for the party in a Spider-Man theme. Of course.

[00:01:23] [SPEAKER_00] Edited to add that Sam did not know. They were going to be a surprise. Spider-Man is just his favorite superhero. Well then, I was laid off. I didn't do anything wrong except be the last person hired. I was devastated and ended up drinking with my roommates instead of baking the cupcakes. It just felt like another in a long line of stupid things. I ended up going to the grocery store and buying cupcakes at two different stores which was hard on the bus.

[00:01:51] [SPEAKER_00] But it was important. Thank God it's graduation season. I showed up and I told my brother up front what happened and apologized. He said, you've got to be fucking kidding me. He was furious. I apologized a bunch of times. I never once made an excuse. It was 100% entirely my fault. He told me that I shouldn't have even come. And the cupcakes were the only reason he'd invited me. I felt awful and left without seeing Sam.

[00:02:18] [SPEAKER_00] My mom called me when I was on the bus ride home to ask why I'd be such an airhead and show up without the one thing I was invited for. She said she thought she raised me smarter than that, but then said, well, I guess not. With an ugly little ha at the end. I accept that I am fully 10,000% responsible for not having the Spider-Man cupcakes. But I think I did my best to try and make up for it by getting any cupcake I could find.

[00:02:45] [SPEAKER_00] I didn't show up empty handed. I didn't put it on them to come up with a solution. Am I wrong? And was it the wrong thing to do? So people were saying, did you tell Sam that you're making cupcakes and what the theme is? Did he know about the party? Opie says, hi. I just wanted to correct one thing, but I'm not arguing. I didn't tell Sam. It was going to be a special surprise for him. He wasn't expecting the Spider-Man cupcakes. That's just his favorite superhero. Sam didn't know I was making the cupcakes.

[00:03:16] [SPEAKER_00] I took the toppers off the cupcakes. They were all black and white and yellow though. I don't understand why you're making up things that didn't happen. He didn't ask for a Spider-Man theme. He didn't know he was having a party to begin with. Not mapped out says, not the arsehole for the question that you asked for judgment on. Which is if you're the arsehole for showing up without the cupcakes. Given that he didn't even know he was getting Spider-Man cupcakes. And he got cupcakes in the end. I don't think you're the arsehole for showing up.

[00:03:44] [SPEAKER_00] You said this was a few weeks ago. Has anyone in your family reached out or said anything about you being laid off? Do they care? Opie says my dad did because he saw there was news about layoffs at my company. But no one else has said anything. They might not know. I don't think they look at the same news my dad does. Not mapped out replies saying, Did he tell anyone else or at least ask how you were dealing with it? Opie says I don't know if he told anyone but no. No one asked how I was dealing with it.

[00:04:14] [SPEAKER_00] He asked me if I had gotten a new job yet. I think a week had passed and I said no, not yet. He asked me, well, why the hell not? I said because it's only been a week. He said if he lost his job, he would have been pounding the pavement from morning until night and knocking on every door downtown until someone would sit down with me to go over his resume. I told him that's not really how things work anymore, but that I had already applied for a lot of jobs. And he asked, well, why am I sitting at home when I should be busier than ever?

[00:04:44] [SPEAKER_00] And I lost my job the day before. Blue Moon commenter says, Your family is awful. But I'm more concerned that you couldn't control your desire to drink enough to fulfill your promise. You may need to consider you have a drinking problem that is far bigger than cupcakes. Your family is still awful, but my guess is that isn't the first time substances have been an issue with you and them. Opie says you are correct. It is not the first time substances have been a problem with me and them.

[00:05:11] [SPEAKER_00] When I was in high school, I got drunk at a party. I had to call my dad to come get me. It was 2am. He was very tired and we had a minor accident on the way back to the house. He's very proud of that car because it was the first he bought new and paid off. And then in college, I participated in the end of year campus party. I made a poor decision to wear new heels and drink and slipped on some stairs, broke my ankle and needed them to come get me earlier than expected. Not mapped out, the previous commenter says, How old are you?

[00:05:42] [SPEAKER_00] These things are annoying in the moment, sure, but driving a kid home from a party is pretty normal. How much do you drink? Opie says, I'm 31. I drink occasionally. I don't get drunk very often anymore. I had my fill of that when I was in college. The commenter says, So I'm assuming you don't have a drinking problem. Where does this level of reaction come from? Have you dropped the ball like this for other things? Opie says, Yes, about 4 years ago. I was supposed to go on a vacation with them to celebrate being out of COVID.

[00:06:11] [SPEAKER_00] I was not able to go because that company also had layoffs. I had to cancel last minute and it made it all the more expensive for them. They were really mad about that one. I had to save that money for rent though. I was down a roommate. But they were right that at my age I should have had savings. A few years before that, I had to move back in with my mom and dad because of a bad situation I had with a guy. They had been getting ready to convert my room to the grandkid hotel and that stopped them for a year,

[00:06:40] [SPEAKER_00] which ended with it just never happening because of the timing of COVID. I did not finish college and that was probably the worst thing I chose to do to them. I was failing and I just wasn't good enough to balance both. So I ended up dropping out. I hoped I'd go back but I wasn't passionate about anything and it's too expensive to not know why I'm there. And just about Opie's living situation, it says, my living situation is stable.

[00:07:07] [SPEAKER_00] I lived with mostly the same people for nearly seven years. The reason I mentioned the bus is because carrying the cupcakes on the bus was difficult because they took up a lot of room. That's all. Now, after all this, after the first part of the story, I felt really sorry for Opie. I just had to because, you know, the brother saying the cupcakes were the only reason I invited you. You got laid off the day before, got drunk dealing with it and then still got yourself to two stores on the bus

[00:07:37] [SPEAKER_00] carrying the cupcakes to make it right. Yeah, that's pretty solid in my opinion. You're trying your best in a really shitty situation for you. But it seems like nothing you ever do from what reading that one post is, is going to be enough or it's almost like they wanted you to fail. And all these mistakes that you were pointing out, you know, calling for a safe ride home and there was an accident, that's not really your mistake.

[00:08:06] [SPEAKER_00] The canceling vacation because you lost your job and it's costing them more money again. That's not your mistake. And the moving home after a bad situation with a guy. Surely you would want your family to do that. So the whole way through this, while it was a rough start, I was just like, what is this family about? But Opie came back in six months later to update and they said, hi, thanks for all the comments before

[00:08:34] [SPEAKER_00] about me failing to bring the Spider-Man cupcakes to my nephew's party. I think I have an okay update to share. I was sort of spiraling when I wrote my post before and that it happens very often to me. Yes, I messed up, but life goes on. I've not been able to find a good job, but I've been making ends meet with cleaning houses. Last week, my family got together for Thanksgiving and I surprised my nephew by bringing him a small batch of Spider-Man cupcakes and he was over the moon.

[00:09:02] [SPEAKER_00] My brother thanked me for it, so that was nice. My mom said, better late than never, I guess. And she and my dad laughed together. I also baked a pie to bring out, but I ended up dropping it. The first time in my life, I stood up for myself against them and I told him that it was really hurtful that they can't ever just be supportive. That post made me reflect on all the ways over the years they just haven't taken me seriously or ignored my small wins because I don't get the big ones like my brother.

[00:09:30] [SPEAKER_00] They argued with me and then probably the best thing ever happened. My sister-in-law stood up for me. She said that ever since she's been part of this family, she has seen the way they talk to me and about me and laugh at me behind my back and treat me like someone else's daughter. She said they've been doing it for years. They tried to pull the she knows it's out of love card on me and I told him that I don't feel loved by them and never have and brought up that

[00:09:57] [SPEAKER_00] she said the only reason I was ever invited to the party was for the cupcakes. Mom tried to say that wasn't true but my sister-in-law stopped her and said that's exactly what she said. My mom and dad were quiet for a little bit and then my dad said he didn't realize how sensitive I am and they tried to do better. I was so happy. Yes, I thank my sister-in-law so much and we've been texting a ton. I didn't realize she liked me.

[00:10:24] [SPEAKER_00] I think 2026 is going to be my year and I'm excited. My biggest hope is to find a job that helps me save money so that I can get my own place by 2028. Merry holidays everyone. Commodore says I thought your brother was the one that said the cupcakes were the only reason you were invited. Did your sister-in-law stand up to your brother as well? Opie says they both did and I guess I don't know if she said anything to him. Izzy Shrew says Good for your sister-in-law

[00:10:53] [SPEAKER_00] and good for you Opie. I like your sister-in-law a lot. She's smart. She sees what's really going on and is realizing that her in-laws will replicate this toxicity with her children in a heartbeat if she lets them. Edit to add My own observation as someone with a few years on me is that so, so often families that have this type of toxic behavior repeat it in future generations. So Opie's parents are used to the dynamic

[00:11:22] [SPEAKER_00] and insult and the mean the other one. Guess what's going to happen if a second grandchild arrives? I'd bet on history repeating itself and the first one getting all the praise and the second one all the scolding. It's sickening. So glad to see sister-in-law standing up. I really, really hope she ripped a strip off her jackass of her husband too. Opie, your parents sound like fucking awful people. Stick to your sister-in-law. Bog Laughan says Being hurt by cupcakes

[00:11:51] [SPEAKER_00] are the only reason you're invited is not on you being sensitive. It's a step in the right direction. But your feelings are not the problem here. Expert says And they still didn't take responsibility by saying they are wrong. Just saying you are sensitive. That's bull. Way to go sister-in-law. And Content replies to that saying Right, that stood way out to me. Opie, be prepared for them to backslide. And maybe some therapy to help you navigate this terrible dynamic your family has.

[00:12:20] [SPEAKER_00] Yeah, I got to that. I didn't realize how sensitive you were comment and thought These people are not going to change anytime soon. Stick to your sister-in-law. Back up from the parents. Because that comment was not an apology. That's them doubling down. They weren't saying We were cruel and we're sorry. They said We didn't know you could handle our cruelty. You know, they're just shifting the blame. And I really hope that Opie does look at professional help to navigate her way through this at the same time.

[00:12:49] [SPEAKER_00] 31 years of being basically called you know, the villain in this family. You can totally understand why she questions herself. So once again, after all this I say keep your sister-in-law close and the expectations of your parents because it almost sounded like you know you think they're moving in the right direction. But I would keep those expectations of them realistic because I don't think they're going to change anytime soon. And you deserve way better. But now

[00:13:17] [SPEAKER_00] I'm going to turn this one to you guys. What do you guys make of this situation? Let us know your thoughts down in the comments below. Let's move on to another story. Now our next story is titled Me 24 female My roommate 23 female and her boyfriend 25 male He snores. I said something Big problem. Okay, I don't even know where to begin. My roommate Claire is a good friend of mine

[00:13:46] [SPEAKER_00] and has been since college. Her boyfriend Mike is a good guy for the most part. I like him but it's one of those situations where they aren't a good couple. They always get in silly fights and are constantly annoying each other. It's weird because separately they're great but together they aren't the best couple. I'm super busy during the week. Full-time job plus full-time grad student plus hobbies so I'm usually in bed pretty early. We have a small apartment

[00:14:15] [SPEAKER_00] but since Mike works close by he always ends up at our house. It's a little annoying because he really is there almost every night. But since I'm not around too much basically to sleep and eat I try not to rock the boat. Like I said I like him and she's a good friend and roommate so I figure pick your battles. But there's one big issue. He snores so fucking loud. Like legitimate logs saw so loud. For whatever reason it just really started

[00:14:43] [SPEAKER_00] bugging me last night. I usually can ignore it put on some Netflix or something but last night I couldn't sleep and was getting really frustrated so I decided I should say something because he really is at our house a lot and it's definitely not the first time his snoring has kept me up. I opened a bedroom door and said Hey Mike sorry but you're snoring super loud. And that's it. I didn't berate him and it was not something you can really control. Plus he's overweight so that definitely doesn't help.

[00:15:14] [SPEAKER_00] It stopped and I thought that was the end of it. Claire leaves earlier than I do and Mike usually sleeps in. So when I got up in the morning I was just minding my own business making my breakfast and prepping my lunch. I don't think I've ever seen Mike get up when I'm up in the morning. But this morning he came into the kitchen when I was milling around. I was surprised to see him and joked good morning sunshine and he started screaming at me. Not joking straight up yelling at me. He called me a bitch said I was super rude and condescending

[00:15:44] [SPEAKER_00] said how disrespectful it was for me to wake him up when I was doing the same thing to him now. Apparently me making breakfast in my own home and waking him up is an issue. I was super freaked out and immediately just left. He's a big guy and Claire has mentioned he has a temper. So I just wanted to get the hell out of there. I don't know what to do. I don't even know how to broach the subject with Claire. I'm staying late to do some homework but also because I don't even want to go home. How should I even approach this?

[00:16:14] [SPEAKER_00] My mind is so jumbled I don't even know how to formulate the right sentences. So Mike waited until Claire left and then screamed at you in your own home for politely asking him to keep it down. After you know he's living there rent free I think I would be straight to texting Claire like saying Mike has just had a right go at you this morning and you felt unsafe while he was doing so because no one should be feeling like that in their own apartment

[00:16:44] [SPEAKER_00] and just saying to Claire that you need to talk before you actually come back to your own home because what he did was totally out of order and I certainly wouldn't be letting her minimize that at all. Commodore says to OP check your lease there's likely a clause with the number of nights slash consecutive nights that you or your roommate can have overnight guests. I'd suggest setting up a time to discuss this with your roommate and let her know that not only is her boyfriend who's not on the lease a disturbance to your sleep but he screamed at you and made you

[00:17:14] [SPEAKER_00] feel threatened in your own home and tell her that you're no longer comfortable with him staying the night especially when she's not home. OP replied saying thanks for putting it this way she's a great person and friend so I'm pretty sure she'd be on my side. It's just such a bummer because I did like Mike he was cool but this is the definition of uncool thanks. Yeah and just circling back to the actual yelling thing where he called you a bitch imagine hearing that

[00:17:44] [SPEAKER_00] like if you was Claire in this situation OP came to you and said oh your partner call me a bitch I'd be absolutely fuming but OP did come in with an update and says wow okay so a lot has happened since my post first things first got a lot of heat for entering her room without knocking damn people it wasn't like that at all literally did the two to three courtesy knocks open the door all of three inches so I could say something and left it wasn't like I barged in to scream at them

[00:18:13] [SPEAKER_00] I didn't even go inside if I didn't open the door a crack he wouldn't have even heard me besides she's one of my best friends and we've lived together before she's not some craigslist roommate with whom I have no relationship so this wasn't some extreme breach of privacy I've tried earplugs but I can't sleep with them comfortably literally the only way to get someone to stop snoring is to wake them up and since I'm not in bed with them and can't tap or nudge them that was the only thing I could do and after

[00:18:43] [SPEAKER_00] months of dealing with it and trying to be cool about it and multiple night after night sleepovers I was a bit fed up with our third roommate who doesn't pay rent keeping me up I've done the texting thing I've done the accidentally knock the wall thing it's that bad that I've tried numerous things to get him to stop he knows he snores really loud but he doesn't wear the strips or do anything to help control it I know it's something you can't control but what am I supposed to do if I can't sleep so

[00:19:13] [SPEAKER_00] so that's that and I regret nothing I'm not super rude for slightly opening my close friend's daughter let her boyfriend know his overstayed welcome snoring was bothering me for the umpteenth time anyway I'm happy to report this a very positive update luckily things happened pretty quickly because it was a fairly urgent issue I ended up staying super late at work to finish some homework so that was a good thing because a I got a shitload of stuff done and b it gave me some

[00:19:42] [SPEAKER_00] time to cool off gather my thoughts and figure out what to say I gave her a call because I thought texting would be a bit complicated I wanted to ask if we could talk about something when she got home and she said she already knew what I was going to say which made me nervous so I said this isn't a conversation I wanted to have completely over the phone but hear me out I explained what happened and said something like look Claire I love you to death and I want you to be happy but I cannot have Mike in our

[00:20:12] [SPEAKER_00] home you really scared me this morning she immediately started crying and asked me to come home so I left right that instant when I got there she said he'd text her earlier saying weird stuff about how we got into an argument there was no argument but I didn't really say anything and that I was out of line she was going to text me about it but knew I was super busy and figured she'd just ask me about it when I got back from work once she heard how bad it was she felt

[00:20:41] [SPEAKER_00] awful I guess he's been really verbally aggressive to her as well lately like I said she's mentioned he has a short fuse and a temper but she's done a good job of hiding how bad it really is I guess it's gotten pretty bad which made me start crying because I love her dearly and made me really sad to hear about how much she's hurting so she totally agreed he had overstayed his welcome but also had no idea how I felt because I didn't say anything it was my bad that I was just internalizing my anger about

[00:21:10] [SPEAKER_00] the situation instead of being honest about it but I'm glad that wasn't a point of contention we didn't have to compromise about it because she knew she wanted out this was just the final straw so we talked for about two hours about the plan of attack and how she needs to get out of the relationship I'm glad we're able to talk openly about it and that she felt comfortable discussing it with me like I said I knew they had some issues but I had no idea it was this bad apparently there's been lots of

[00:21:40] [SPEAKER_00] yelling and minimal happiness it's her first serious relationship so she said she assumed this was normal after you'd been together for a fair amount of time but she was also embarrassed and didn't want to discuss it with me because she knew I would be worried which is 150% correct although I wish I would have known obviously she made a plan to meet him in a public spot and break up with him I said that I would be supportive in any way she needed me to be so she asked me if I could drop her off and

[00:22:10] [SPEAKER_00] pick her up when it went down I was really apprehensive about that because I didn't want to run into Mike or make the situation worse but since that's what she wanted I was happy to do it so yesterday evening I dropped her off down the street at a coffee shop and ran some errands nearby waiting for her call so I could grab her when she was done after an hour she called me and asked me to pick her up she sounded fine I picked her up down the street and we drove back home she was she said it went surprisingly well and that he felt bad about

[00:22:39] [SPEAKER_00] everything which shocked me he agreed that it hadn't been working out and although he tried to plead to get her back she wasn't having it to be honest I was absolutely shocked I didn't anticipate him being so calm and level-headed about it and while I was still a little freaked out about what happened the other day her situation was much dire than mine and I'm obviously not holding my breath for an apology or anything nor do I really give a shit although Mike seemed to be okay with the situation we

[00:23:09] [SPEAKER_00] notified the landlord ahead of time of what happened just in case he ever returns to stir shit up I really truly hope it doesn't and I don't think he will but better safe than sorry I suppose I'm just glad she's okay and I don't have to deal with his craziness and loud ass snoring anymore I slept like a baby last night without him there and plan on sleeping like a baby again tonight and I'm super glad that things seemed to work out in the end because I think Mike showed you exactly who

[00:23:38] [SPEAKER_00] he was that morning him confronting you the screaming etc. etc. and Claire immediately knowing what you meant when you said you needed to talk it was screaming all sorts to me and let's face it Mike being surprisingly cool air quotes about the breakup doesn't erase what he did that morning or what he's potentially been doing for a while and I think you may have helped Claire out of potentially a pretty shitty relationship but what do you guys make

[00:24:07] [SPEAKER_00] of this situation let us know your thoughts down in the comments below just a huge thank you for being here today getting involved in the stories your love your support your time it always means the absolute world to me so thank you so so much for being here and hopefully I'll see you in the next one take care and much love