I DESTROYED My Girlfriends Garden Room And I Can't Remember Doing It

[00:00:02] [SPEAKER_00] Hey Waffle Gang, I do hope you are well. My name is Mark and today we're checking out some more Reddit Stories. And if you do love a Reddit Story, why not consider hitting that like, subscribe, maybe that notification bell too. And let's crack on with today's first story. Much love guys.

[00:00:20] [SPEAKER_00] Now today's first story was a recovered story and it's titled, I 26 Male Destroyed My Girlfriends 24 Female. Plants in a fit of rage and I think she may leave me. Okay, I'm a long time Reddit observer but first time poster so I apologize if I do anything wrong. I've been in a relationship with a girl of my dreams for almost seven years. She is the light of my life. We met in college and it was love at first sight for me. She is the most loving,

[00:00:49] [SPEAKER_00] goal minded, smart, creative, gentle person I know. Our relationship has always been pretty peaceful. Even when we fight, it's not so much fighting as it is just taking out our frustrations and maybe some tears shed. I've had a rough couple of months. I got laid off, rejected from my top choice grad school. Had to dump a huge chunk of our savings into a new car when mine took a crap. Looking back, I think all of this contributed to what happened that night. I truly feel

[00:01:19] [SPEAKER_00] like I blacked out. I've never had an episode like this in my life. Last week, we were arguing about some financial decisions that we were trying to come to an agreement on. Like she always does when an argument has drained her for the day, she sighed, rubbed her eyes, stood up and kissed my cheek and said she was making some tea. We have tea every night and asked if I wanted some before bed. I always know this is a sign that she can't productively contribute to the argument anymore right now. She needs to refocus and recharge.

[00:01:49] [SPEAKER_00] For whatever reason, I didn't accept it that night. I asked her to sit down so we could continue. I was sick of arguing and wanted to push through it until it was over. She responded that she would not be contributing for the rest of the night and that I am welcome to come to bed whenever I'm ready. She put my tea on the table in front of me and took hers to the bedroom. When she walked out of the kitchen, I called for her three more times insisting that she come back to talk and she ignored me. Something in me snapped. Instead of having tea,

[00:02:19] [SPEAKER_00] I started drinking, I started drinking. I drink maybe once or twice a year. All we had in the house even was a bottle of nasty brandy. She has this room in the back of our house that is mostly windows. She has put a lot of time and money into it. It's her plant room. She puts in new floors and custom shelves that she built herself to hold the plants.

[00:02:40] [SPEAKER_00] My girlfriend's plant room has always been a special place. Her career is pretty demanding and does a lot of speaking with important people and at the end of the day, she is often looking to escape somewhere. She has a bookshelf to keep her favorite books out there and all these cool looking plants. One of them got passed down from a great grandma or someone and a lot of them are from other countries.

[00:03:02] [SPEAKER_00] I think she names them or maybe that's the actual names of the plants. I don't know. Sometimes I'd go out there too to spend time with her and she would always be wiping the leaves and gushing about the way the light is coming in or how excited she was about a new plant she was expecting in the mail. Her plant room was probably her most favorite space. The walls literally looked green because she had so many. I don't know. I couldn't really keep up. I just like to be near her.

[00:03:28] [SPEAKER_00] Sometimes I'd open the blinds from the house to the room to just watch her in a rocking chair reading around her plants. Anyway, so I snapped. I literally do not know. I backed up my truck and put every plant in the room in the back and I took them to the pond a few blocks from our house and dumped them in. Still drinking, amazed I didn't crash my new truck. I passed out on the couch. The next morning I got up, not remembering a lot, until I saw her through the open blinds sitting in the empty room.

[00:03:58] [SPEAKER_00] I immediately ran out there. My stomach hurt thinking about what I have done. Her eyes were so wide and full of tears. She kept taking these shaky breaths and looking around like she was seeing it for the first time over and over. I told her I'm sorry. She asked what happened. I told her. She asked my great grandma's IV too? I said yes. She did this little sob thing. It was really quiet. She's never been a loud crier.

[00:04:27] [SPEAKER_00] Ever since then, my best friend is gone. She goes to work and comes home and sits in the empty room and looks out the window. She looks sad every night. I miss her. I miss her making tea for us before bed. I'm not saying I miss the tea. I'm capable of that myself. I just miss all the little ways she made my life complete. She was the most full of life I've ever seen a person. Sometimes she'd just grab me as I'm walking by and get up on her tiptoes and kiss me like it was the first time.

[00:04:56] [SPEAKER_00] My actions are killing me. She drifts past me like a ghost when she's near. She doesn't kiss me. Doesn't return my affection. I want to start rebuilding her room but don't even know where to start. Please, Reddit. Help me. Is there any hope for me to get my best friend and hopefully future wife back? I need help. Bloody hell. I got to say, I don't think there's any coming back from that.

[00:05:21] [SPEAKER_00] It sounds like she's pretty much checked out in this situation and can you honestly blame her? She's watched someone who she's meant to be able to trust, who's meant to be safe, the person that she loves, do something calculated and vindictive. Sure, Opie says that he blacked out but Opie also remembers backing up the truck, loading it methodically and driving blocks away. And I mean, you know, this wasn't one plant. This was multiple plants. This would have taken a long time to do.

[00:05:49] [SPEAKER_00] Then you drove it blocks away and then dumped them. A grandma's special plant as well. I just can't see any way to come back from that. But a commenter says, this reminds me of this case study from Lundy Bancroft's book, Why Does He Do That? It said,

[00:06:23] [SPEAKER_00] He's just like the storm passes. He calms down and he leaves for a while. Later, he seems kind of ashamed of himself. I asked Sheila two questions. The first was, when things got broken, were they Michael's or hers? Or things that belonged to the both of them? She left a considerable silence while she thought. Then she said, you know what? I'm amazed I never thought of this, but he only breaks my stuff.

[00:06:52] [SPEAKER_00] I can't think of one thing he smashed that belonged to him. Next, I asked her, who cleans up the mess? She answered that she does. I commented, see, Michael's behavior isn't nearly as berserk as it looks. And if he really felt so remorseful, he'd help clean up. Ben says, OP didn't lose control. He made a calculated decision to hurt his girlfriend by destroying something she loves. He's a textbook abuser. The commenter says, dude, you have to take a serious look at yourself.

[00:07:23] [SPEAKER_00] You didn't boil over and simply raise your voice, slam a door, or break a single object. You spent seemingly upwards of an hour maliciously dismantling and destroying a special place your girlfriend has spent years cultivating. Over what? Your girlfriend politely excusing herself from an argument that she knew wasn't productive. If I were her, I don't know how I could look at you in the same way. Your behavior is so vindictive and out of nowhere that it's scary.

[00:07:49] [SPEAKER_00] Honestly, I have a hard time believing what you say about something like this never happening before in this relationship. You need to seek counseling for this behavior. Another commenter says, you destroyed far more than her plants. You destroyed part of her soul. You deliberately, and with malice, destroyed what meant the most to her. The level of rage you demonstrated there is scary. What is almost as disturbing as the help you're asking for. You didn't ask how to make it up to her.

[00:08:16] [SPEAKER_00] You didn't ask if there's anything you can do to make her happy again, or to minimize her pain. No, your post was all about you. You miss her. You miss the tea. You miss her kisses. You miss how she made your life complete. You want her back so you can be happy again. All about you, you, you. Go think about that. Go get some therapy. Make things easy on your girlfriend and set her free while you work on you. Because you need a lot of work.

[00:08:44] [SPEAKER_00] And one more commenter who says, I really hope this is fake. The way it's written, setting the scene, is disturbing. You didn't snap and break something of your own. You deliberately destroyed all that was most important to her. This is abuse. It takes time to get the truck, load on the plants, drive and dump them. Planned, deliberate action. Drinking or not. You're an abuser partner. She deserves better and you will never make this up to her. She will never trust you again. Again, I hope this is fake.

[00:09:13] [SPEAKER_00] If it isn't, I hope she leaves. Get help. Don't drink ever again. So OP adds a couple of little updates. It says, I appreciate everyone's comments even though most of them were along the lines of, Fuck you asshole. Firstly, I want to say, I don't disagree with you. At your suggestion, therapy is my first priority tomorrow. Unfortunately, most of you have accurately predicted the outcome of my relationship. Which is that it is no longer existent. I will still be doing everything I can to make it right for her.

[00:09:41] [SPEAKER_00] I've deleted the post at the request of my ex-girlfriend. Again, thanks for everyone's time. And then adds one more saying, I also want to clarify my account is about a month and a half old because I wanted to post a little bit ago for car advice. If you remember in my post having to get a new car but ended up just buying a new truck. Trust me, I wish these events were fake. Thanks everyone. Like I said in the first part of the post, I couldn't really have seen it ending any other way.

[00:10:08] [SPEAKER_00] I mean, how do you look at someone the same again after that? And yes, he's getting therapy now, which of course absolutely is a good thing. So hopefully this behavior doesn't continue in the future. But for this relationship, I don't think it would have made any difference whatsoever. I think once you start looking at someone in a certain way, it's hard to change that behavior, right? But now I'm going to turn this one to you guys. What do you guys make of this situation? Let us know your thoughts down in the comments below.

[00:10:37] [SPEAKER_00] And let's move on to another story. Now our next story is from the Am I the Arsehole here subreddit that says, Am I the Arsehole for laughing about a pretend allergy? Parents gave up wanting responsibility for Thanksgiving meal about five years ago. My house is big enough to host and I enjoy cooking. So for the past three years, the duties have fallen on me. I make the turkey, the stuffing, mashed potatoes and gravy and rolls. Others bring sides in things like chips and drinks.

[00:11:07] [SPEAKER_00] This year, my brother and his wife came into town early and stayed over. Thanksgiving, mid-morning, my sister and all wanders into the kitchen while I'm making stuffing. She sees my pile of breadcrumbs slash celery, onion, sausage in a bowl, and me sautéing the mushrooms. She says, what are those for? I told her they were for the stuffing. She put her hands on her hips and said, freaking out. You can't put mushrooms in the stuffing. I'm allergic. I was stupefied. I said, when did this happen?

[00:11:37] [SPEAKER_00] And she just looked at me like I was an idiot. So I said, when did you discover you're allergic to mushrooms? She scoffed and said, I've always been allergic. Now, the thing is, when I make my stuffing, I like things to be well incorporated. And I always chop the mushrooms small after I sauté them. So they are not actually apparent in the mix as mushrooms, among the other ingredients. I burst out in a laugh and said, well, that's interesting because you weren't allergic last year. And you weren't allergic the year before.

[00:12:06] [SPEAKER_00] She asked me what I meant. And I told her, I've been making stuffing like this every year she's eaten it. And furthermore, she's raved over it and had zero allergic reaction. So maybe she's not allergic. Maybe she just thinks she doesn't like mushrooms. She got pissed and went to my brother to tell him. And she told him she wanted to leave. But he wanted to stay. So she spent the entire rest of the day shooting daggers at me with her eyes. They were supposed to stay through the weekend, but they left Thanksgiving night.

[00:12:36] [SPEAKER_00] I confided in my mom and my sister yesterday. And they kind of chuckled and said it's not my fault. But my brother texted me this morning. I could have just not used mushrooms. And I made his wife feel stupid for no reason. I maintain I didn't make her feel anything. Am I the arsehole here? So Dry Novel comes straight into the comments and says, It's completely possible the stuffing gave her the shits or cramps. And she just thought it was from the amount of food. Not all allergic reactions are anaphylaxis shock.

[00:13:06] [SPEAKER_00] Opie says, She's never given any indication the food gave her anything but pleasure. No cramps or illnesses. Ready to drink and party the past two years at a friend's game party Thanksgiving night. To another commenter, Opie says, No reactions that I can tell. She has for the past few years gone to the game night Thanksgiving night. She feels well enough to drink my brother under the table. No reaction the next day either. Just more stuffing and gravy leftovers. Via Vesta says, Not the arsehole.

[00:13:35] [SPEAKER_00] I believe it's the responsibility of the one with the allergies to inform others of their condition. It should have been brought up on the first dinner with her. However, I caution against dismissing her allergy as fake without more info. Food allergies don't always come with immediate reactions. In my case, I get diarrhea the next day after ingesting my allergen. It took me months to discover my allergy due to similar misconceptions. Opie says, We got a kid in the family with multiple allergies to various nuts.

[00:14:03] [SPEAKER_00] She knows this and that we're careful about it. I felt like if she was allergic, she would have said. She's never claimed any reaction to the stuffing. No mention of it to my brother. No warning about the presumably years-long allergy. Enter the Ocean says, I also developed an allergy in my 20s that I did not have previously. The struggle of trying to get people to believe me was insane. However, not the arsehole as Opie didn't know and has been making the same recipe for years without comment. Opie says,

[00:14:32] [SPEAKER_00] Yeah, it's why I asked her about it when it happened. I have a friend who is allergic to shellfish. Went from being able to eat shrimp to full-blown throat closing symptoms within about six months. Opie also says, I have never tried to trick her. The recipe is my grandmother's. We've been eating it forever. The only thing I do differently is make the vegetables in it fairly uniform. My sister-in-law has eaten it since they were engaged. Pretty sure my brother knows slash knew what's in it. Summit Junkie says, Not the arsehole.

[00:15:02] [SPEAKER_00] She could just not eat the stuffing. And if she really believes she has an allergy, you ate this last year and the year before, did you have an adverse reaction? It's important medical information, so you're right to tell her. If what she does with that information is feel stupid and throws fits, that's on her. Opie says, She doesn't just eat the stuffing, traditionally. She goes in for seconds, and then for a midnight snack covered with gravy. Nightmare Gerbil says, At the very least, green bean casserole will have mushrooms. Opie says,

[00:15:31] [SPEAKER_00] It's just occurred to me after this and another post. We have that too. I feel like she eats it. Is it possible she doesn't realize it also has mushrooms? Opie adds another comment saying, non-leaf allergies do exist. But she yelled at me, and said she's always been allergic. She never once before indicated to anyone in the family that she was allergic to mushrooms, and through these posts I've realized she's also been eating the green bean casserole in fairly large quantities, which also has mushrooms.

[00:15:59] [SPEAKER_00] It's like she never ate a Thanksgiving meal before, and never bothered to ask what was in the food. If I had an allergy or intolerance, I would be asking. And I think it's an overreach when people say I mocked her. I laughed because I was surprised. So Opie did update the post and says, First, thanks everyone, even those who said I was the arsehole. He gave me a lot to think about. Just got off the phone with my brother, and I'm sitting here with a beer. Truly at a loss for words, but here it goes.

[00:16:27] [SPEAKER_00] He admitted that my sister-in-law, who has been eating my stuff in, and my sister's green bean casserole, this has been verified, for a few Thanksgivings, now did not know there were mushrooms in either. Neither has she ever told anyone, not my brother, her husband, not my mother, sister, me, of any allergens before now, because she doesn't have any. Apparently, and I'm still trying to wrap my head around this, she has like a phobia. I guess you would call it. Maybe that's not the right word, but after watching TikTok video about some edible mushrooms

[00:16:57] [SPEAKER_00] growing on dead skin, on feet, or in human bodies, she believes she can be infected by eating them. He tried assuring her it wouldn't happen, but she cited other videos she's watched about spores, etc., including the show The Last of Us, which he explained is fiction created from a video game, but she swears it is based on fact, and still possible. I feel like we have bigger problems here than stuffing. I have encouraged him to try and get her to see a doctor to talk about this.

[00:17:25] [SPEAKER_00] Opie then replies to a longer comment, saying, Opie is Ariel. She's very resistant to seeking therapy. Bloody hell, I didn't think I'd be seeing a Last of Us reference in this one, but what do you guys make of this situation? Let us know your thoughts down in the comments below, and let's move on to another story. Now, our next story comes from the Am I the Arsehole subreddit from Lack of Femininity, who says, Am I the Arsehole for giving my son's girlfriend a budget

[00:17:54] [SPEAKER_00] for the dinner she's making? My son, 23 male, graduated university back in June, and he moved back across the country to live with us, since he found a job in the area. He's been in a long-distance relationship with his girlfriend, Carmella, 21 female, until October. She initially took a semester off from college, and was living with her mom. However, she decided she's not going back. Her mom said she'd have to move out, and she had nowhere to go. My son is moving into his own place in January,

[00:18:24] [SPEAKER_00] and had invited her to move in already, saying she could get a job in the area. However, she needed to move out sooner, and they both asked me if she could move in. I agree. Neither are paying us rent, as I personally don't believe in charging my kids to live here, so it felt wrong to charge Carmella any. I just asked that they clean up after themselves and be respectful of everyone. They agreed. Carmella moved in after Halloween, and she's been a joy to have here. She's still looking for a job. Most nights,

[00:18:54] [SPEAKER_00] she's offered to cook dinner to give back to us. I've always told her it's not necessary, but she insists. She's a good cook, so I tell her if she wants to, have at it. A week into her living here, she mentioned wanting to make a certain dish, but we didn't have the ingredients. I offered to give her my card so she could buy groceries. Since then, it's become a regular thing. I didn't mind it initially. She picked up my groceries as well, and it seemed to be a good deal all around. But then a couple of weeks in, she started wanting to make

[00:19:23] [SPEAKER_00] multiple trips a week and buy things that I normally wouldn't budget for on a regular basis, such as steak and seafood. I asked her on Sunday when she went to the store to please get everything she needed in one trip. She said okay, and I thought that solved the problem. Cut to Monday night, and we finished dinner. She and my son are talking while I'm doing the dishes. Carmela mentions wanting to make steak on Thursday. My son says that sounds good. Carmela says she'll have to go back to the store.

[00:19:53] [SPEAKER_00] My son turns to me and says, Mom, give her the card. I tell them no. I say I already gave her money to go shopping on Sunday and told her to get everything she needed. I also said we can't swing everyone having steaks this week. Six people in the house, but maybe I can make them for Christmas dinner. I then go on to say if Carmela wants to keep cooking for us, which I appreciate, I'm going to put her on a budget. I apologize for not doing it sooner. Carmela looks upset and my son seems offended. Later on,

[00:20:22] [SPEAKER_00] my son tells me I embarrassed Carmela when she's just trying to be nice. I said I appreciate her cooking dinner, but she's doing it on my dime and I can't afford this. I pointed out he's free to give her money to do this. My son pointed out they're only here a few more weeks. Can't I just make my guest happy? Am I really in the wrong here? I just find the whole situation wild. I know she sounds like a joy to be with and someone cooking for you every night to give back

[00:20:51] [SPEAKER_00] is an absolutely lovely thing to do. The fact that she just randomly mentioned that, you know, Carmela mentions wanting to make steak on a Thursday. I mean, come on. He must know the prices of steak no matter what, right? If she's a good cook, it sounds like she's cooked steak before. She must know the prices of steak to automatically assume that's okay. Oh, I'm going to make steak on Thursday with someone else's card. It's just bloody cheeky in my opinion. But what about the son in this as well?

[00:21:20] [SPEAKER_00] When this was mentioned, Carmela needs to go back to the store. Son turned around and say, Mom, give her the card. Cheeky bastard. Now, I know all of this should have been discussed long before. When she got that card, you know, here's the budget. This is what you got to work with. But still, just the bloody cheek of it, right? Wes Morgan says, regardless of her intentions, treating you as an unlimited bank for food purchases is disrespectful. Capping your food expenses

[00:21:49] [SPEAKER_00] is a completely reasonable thing to do. Not the arsehole. Sit down with the both of them. Tell her that you love her cooking and that you'd love to sit down and plan meals with her. But you'll have to stick to a budget because you don't have a money tree in the backyard. P.S. If your son complains again, ask him if he's going to give her an unlimited food budget when they move in together. I bet his tune changes at that thought. Another commenter says, no one's an arsehole here. She probably had no idea you didn't like the arrangement and the average 21-year-old is pretty clueless.

[00:22:18] [SPEAKER_00] She's probably embarrassed and that's okay. It's okay to experience negative emotions when you unwittingly do something wrong, especially to someone else doing you a favor. You have every right to set boundaries about your food budget. We pretty much all have to be aware of that with how expensive groceries are. Sounds like you said it kindly and appropriately. Your son needs a reality check. Sounds like them moving out will be a reality check for the both of them. Flowery Butterfly says, I'm worried about Miss Camilla. She quit school

[00:22:48] [SPEAKER_00] to go live with a guy, now has an unfinished degree and no job. Her budgeting skills seem a bit shaky. It was very nice that she's offered to cook, but the fact that she thought it was okay to buy expensive ingredients without asking is odd. Add to this brewing mess, the son's mindset that this is all okay? I see trouble ahead. Yearly depression says, not the arsehole. You're already doing more than most parents would. You took her in, you're not charging rent and you've been footing the bill the entire time she's been living there.

[00:23:18] [SPEAKER_00] That's generous. Her cooking is a really nice gesture, but it stops being a gesture when it turns into multiple grocery trips a week with expensive items you wouldn't normally buy. Steak and seafood for six people adds up fast. It isn't rude to set a budget. You also didn't snap at her or shame her. You explained the situation and set a rule that should have been in place from the beginning. If your son wants restaurant level dinners, he can put his own money towards them instead of volunteering your wallet. Carmela feeling embarrassed

[00:23:47] [SPEAKER_00] is understandable, but that doesn't make you wrong. You're housing two young adults for free and trying to keep your household expenses under control. A reasonable grocery budget is reasonable. And I just thought that would be an interesting one to finish on. I was just shocked at the cheek of it to be quite honest. And like some of the commenters were saying, I think they're going to be in for a rude awakening when they do move in for themselves and they're trying to cook steak and seafood. But what do you guys make of this situation?

[00:24:17] [SPEAKER_00] Maybe you've got a completely different opinion on the matter. Let us know your thoughts down in the comments below. Now just a huge thank you from the bottom of my heart for being involved in today's stories, your love, your support, your time. It always means the absolute world to me. So thank you so, so much for being involved. Truly, it's absolutely amazing. And hopefully, I will see you in the next one. Take care and much love.