Wife Walked Out On Us 2 Years Ago And Now Returned Expecting It To Be Normal r/Relationships

[00:00:03] Hey Waffle Gang, I do hope you are well. My name is Mark and today we're checking out some more Reddit stories and if you do love a Reddit story why not consider hitting that like subscribe and maybe that notification bell too. And let's crack on with today's

[00:00:18] first story. Much love guys. Now today's first story comes from TopSignificance4678 and says, Wife walked out on me and my daughter two years ago. Now she returned and wants to be a family again. Two years ago my wife pulled the classic,

[00:00:34] I'm going to buy some smokes and just disappeared. She suffered from depression and I did my best to take the load off her and help her get the help she needed. She would keep saying

[00:00:45] how she was sick of everything, even our daughter and again I would give her space and try to accommodate every request. Then she just disappeared, took some of her stuff and she was just gone. I had gone picking up our daughter at school, after work and

[00:01:01] after we came home she was gone. Police was involved but after 3 days she called her mother saying she was fine but wished for us not to look for her or contact her. It was hard,

[00:01:12] working, raising our daughter as a single father, trying to explain to her why her mum was gone and not knowing what to say when she asked if mummy would ever be back. At

[00:01:22] the same time I appreciated the strong bond I built with my daughter and that helped a lot. I never looked into or filed for divorce but around last years summer I met a woman,

[00:01:33] Jill and we started an on and off relationship. She knows all about my situation and although we are currently on a break, she is still a big help and established a rapport with my daughter as an aunt figure. I was thinking of getting the ball rolling

[00:01:48] for divorce when 2 weeks ago my wife returned, completely apologetic but she also seemed to have become a new person entirely. A beat, pro-positive and almost with a glow to herself, she popped back in with a hey guys what did I miss? While after our initial shock, my

[00:02:06] daughter and I became indifferent. In the last few days my daughter has warmed up to her but I didn't. She tried to initiate intimacy after 2 nights but I told her I was not comfortable about it and asked her to move to the guest room but she did saying

[00:02:20] she completely understands. I asked her where she's been the last years and she pretty much toured around the world, I don't even know with what money and found herself. I told her pretty bluntly that I was looking for divorce and that there's already someone

[00:02:35] else. She said she completely understands if I hate her now which I don't but maybe I can give her a chance to make it up to us. I am torn, I still have feelings for her and

[00:02:46] I'm glad my daughter got her mother back but how can I trust her to not just walk out on us? What am I supposed to do with Jill? Thanks for everything but my wife is back

[00:02:56] so long and thanks for the fish. I don't know where to put my head anymore. Handhook Cardor says this is above reddit's pay grade. If you want to pursue being with her you absolutely need a couples therapist. All reddit can do is tell you that you're

[00:03:10] absolutely right for wanting a divorce. Mental Health is no joke. Mental health does not absolve you of your actions and the consequences associated with them. Two years is a long time, it's a lifetime for your child. I would ask yourself the following questions.

[00:03:28] 1. What stops this from happening again? 2. What changed? Finding yourself is not a good enough answer. 3. You deserve to enjoy life and if you found a partner her life is important too for both of you. The answer is personal however if

[00:03:43] it was me I would hope she has a relationship with her child but I would never accept her back to try and reignite a family. You deserve more and deserve better.

[00:03:53] Veronica says what a damn mess. We can say anything we like but at the end of the day only you can decide what's best for your daughter and you. Personally I'd go for divorce and use your wife's good intentions to build a good co-parenting relationship. Assuming

[00:04:05] she won't pull her little stunt again. You mentioned that your relationship with Jill is on and off and you're currently on break but it seems she never stopped being a mother figure for your daughter. This alone makes her 100 times a better choice than your wife

[00:04:19] who could likely walk out at the first difficulty. The sudden leaving, the sudden return and the dismissive attitude upon returning hoping things can just pick up where she left them. She found the selfish behavior she exhibited when she initially left. Don't get me wrong

[00:04:38] mental health and depression are serious issues but it's no excuse to leave your child for two years to go travel the world with zero communication. If she really found herself she'd realize how much damage she caused her child and would be doing a lot more to fix

[00:04:53] things for the time lost. As for the marriage my trust in her would be completely gone. There'd be no going back. OP great job stepping up as a single dad. Don't take her back. Continue forward with your life and hope you can build a healthy co-parenting relationship.

[00:05:28] I found the returning behavior when she returned and said hey guys what did I miss? It'd be really strange and not quite right in itself. If you really did disappear for two years

[00:05:43] and had no contact with anyone and just walked through the door surely you wouldn't be so so blasé about it. Surely you would have got in contact with your husband in some other form

[00:05:54] text phone call to say is it possible that I come around have a talk especially for the daughter's sake as well. Imagine that poor girl seeing her mom come walking through the door.

[00:06:05] But OP comes into the post sometime later to update and says hello people I've read your comments even though I replied very little but I appreciate your advice and insight. I have an update but I'm afraid it will be a bit disappointing. My mother-in-law has agreed to take

[00:06:20] my soon to be ex-wife in and she moved out without making a fuss. She says she understands but would like to keep a relationship with our daughter. I let her know I'm pursuing a divorce and she took

[00:06:31] it seemingly well. Her only request is that I don't bar her from our daughter. She gave me an account of what she's been up to the last couple years. I'm not sure whether to believe her or not

[00:06:42] and at this point I don't care. I've contacted a lawyer and we're looking into a smooth and quick divorce. If my ex-wife keeps being so cooperative I think she could have visitation rights but I'm

[00:06:54] not so sure about custody. Perhaps if she demonstrates she can be a safe parent in the future. Jill and I are not back together. She proposed rekindling our relationship but right now my priority is my daughter and sorting out my affairs and the divorce. Jill has agreed to

[00:07:10] give me time but also asked me to let her know my choice in a reasonable amount of time because she really wants to be with me and my daughter but neither can she wait forever. I agreed with

[00:07:20] her. Now we get by day by day. Edit Jill is not my soon-to-be ex-wife. She's the woman I had a relationship with after my wife abandoned us and helped me with my daughter. A couple of comments

[00:07:33] with Opie's reply. Veronica says happy to hear you are doing well. Take your time but in my opinion losing Jill will be a mistake you will end up regretting. She seems very understanding of your

[00:07:44] situation and willing to support you in this trying time. Opie says I don't know right now the priority is my daughter. Of course Jill can keep a rapport with her but I don't think this is

[00:07:54] the moment for a relationship. Derek Thorne says why are you on and off with Jill? If you like being with her then be with her your ex should not be a part of that equation. Opie says it's

[00:08:05] not about my ex it's that my daughter is the priority and I feel I can't give 100% of a romantic partner. Jill understands this but right now I can't focus on a relationship. Derek Thorne replies

[00:08:18] saying your daughter likes Jill right? You are sort of keeping her from a positive female influence right now when she probably needs it most. I think the thing is that you are conflicted with your

[00:08:28] wife coming back into the picture. If you show your date what a healthy relationship is like then you are really helping her in this process. What I'll be worried about is that she's gonna

[00:08:37] learn that when things get tough a female role model leaves. Maybe if you keep things normal and only make one change to her world, the addition of a mother it'll be less traumatic. Opie says I didn't

[00:08:48] think about it in those terms. I do want Jill and I don't want for us to lose her. Derek replies again saying plan an evening with Jill. Apologize if you hurt her feelings tell her you want her in

[00:09:00] your life and that she's been a great mother to your daughter. Tell her you'd like to have her with you through this and beyond. Super simple my dude go forth and do great things. And I was back

[00:09:12] and forth on the relationship with Jill. I thought it was a good thing to have some normality in your life you know it probably make Opie happier which would be good for the daughter in the long run at

[00:09:21] the same time as well because you know children definitely pick up on the vibes from their parents and how they're feeling etc. But then I also appreciated that he was prioritizing his daughter

[00:09:31] at the same time trying to do what's best for his daughter. But then I also felt sorry for Jill herself as well you know she's on the outside of what's going on at the moment sort of being told

[00:09:42] this on-off relationship. She has a good relationship with her daughter by the sounds of it but then is also being pushed to the side at the same time. Incredibly difficult lots of different things going

[00:09:52] on in one story there. I'm gonna be very interested to know what you guys think about this one. What you think the best way forward is for Opie? Would you have Jill as a part of your life going forward?

[00:10:02] Do you think it's too early? What about the daughter? Let us know your thoughts down in the comments below and let's move on to another story. And our next story comes from the MIBR. Subreddit

[00:12:33] I'm just so confused by all of this. It's like we're separating to rekindle the relationship then the break was much needed to recharge the relationship. Then there was plans of proposals. It just felt extremely messy and everything felt like a bad idea. Scott says straight away wait

[00:13:16] if you separated for a couple of months and a week after getting back together she showed signs of pregnancy. How the hell did you think it was yours? Another commenter says I don't know why

[00:13:26] people these days believe that taking breaks in which you can go and fuck everyone you can is a good way to rekindle a relationship. There are dozens of better ways to solve problems in a

[00:13:34] relationship. I've been married for over 20 years and together many years before that and we have had our issues but never separated like this. You can go and live in la vida loca and I'll do the

[00:13:48] same. Yes we have been apart and separated for a while as a recourse but knowing we are still a monogamous couple who just need some space to work things out with ourselves. Being with other

[00:13:59] people was out of the equation. Play stupid games, win kids from another man. SubstantialBus says let's fix our relationship. Cool how? By not talking to each other, sleeping and getting emotionally attached to other people and then getting back together with said other person's kid

[00:14:18] but with the same issues we didn't solve at all. Amazing idea count me in. DildoFappingz says you're both morons no sympathy from here. What the fuck does recharging a relationship mean? You got tired from fucking each other and decided to take a

[00:14:39] break to fuck someone else? Cracking comment there Dildo. Now let's move on to the update. So just a quick update. As a few people in the comments were wondering as to whether my ex

[00:14:50] knew who the bio dad was. I called my ex last night and asked her if she had found the bio dad but she said no, that she just knew his first name but didn't have his number or any social media.

[00:15:02] She had met him at the bar. It was pretty much a one night stand. I asked her how her parents are taking it and unfortunately they aren't taking it too great and they are being really critical of

[00:15:12] her. Her parents really liked me and they had no idea we even took a break. My ex was a bit of an emotional mess when I called her last night and I really felt bad. I really wish that baby was

[00:15:24] mine. My ex and I really envisioned spending the rest of our lives with each other but it sadly isn't. I told my ex last night that was the last time I was going to call her and wished her well

[00:15:35] on her future. She was crying really badly at the end and it pretty much broke my heart when I hung up. Is it me? I know text reads in a very very different way but it just feels like very blasé

[00:15:48] You wouldn't believe it but our relationship was on the rock so we just decided to take a little break. Just to rekindle the fire if you like. We went around and slept with some other

[00:16:00] people. She came back, got pregnant and then I found out it wasn't mine. You wouldn't believe it. I was really bummed out. She was more hurt than I was because I was planning to propose to her

[00:16:09] soon as well. Anyway I contacted her about finding the bio dad and she can't find him because it was a one-night stand. But anyway I'm gonna cut her off. We're heartbroken but

[00:16:19] fuck it. I don't know it just felt that way to me. Anyway what do you guys make of this situation? Holy moly, recharged the relationship. Wow let's move on to another story. Now our next story

[00:16:33] comes from the M.I. the Arsehole subreddit. It doesn't have an update as yet but I saw this and I thought that's neighbor drama right there. My neighbor sensors were going off. It's from disastrouschoice6021 that says, am I the arsehole for walking outside in my robe?

[00:16:50] Pretty much you know this could be a not the arsehole already but hey unless your balls are hanging below your robe of course. So I, 18 female, scratch that, have been sick for the

[00:17:01] past two days with a fever. One second I'm super hot, the next I'm not since my body temperature is all over the place and I've mostly been wearing a robe around the house. This morning I

[00:17:13] still wasn't feeling well and I asked a friend of mine if they could get some cold and flu medicine since I was out and my parents were at work. They said sure. They were in a rush to get to school

[00:17:23] so I asked if I could meet them outside and just grab the medicine so they wouldn't have to stop their car. My friend arrived and since I was just laying down recovering I was only in my robe.

[00:17:33] I figured it'd be fine since it was mid thigh length and I was only going to be outside for a second. So I went outside, got the medicine and my friend left. On my way back inside my neighbor,

[00:17:43] 50 female, came outside and started yelling at me. She told me it was disgusting that I was dressed like that outside for all to see and really started yelling at me. I felt like it

[00:17:56] wasn't a big deal so I told her that I was outside for less than a minute and this conversation was longer than the time I was actually outside for. She told me I was being disrespectful and told me

[00:18:07] to imagine if her husband or someone else was to see me dressed like that. Here's where I might be the asshole. I told her that if I had to worry about her husband seeing me when I was still fully

[00:18:20] covered then she's married to a creep and should have made some better choices on who to marry. She gasped loudly and kept yelling at me so I eventually just said I wasn't feeling well

[00:18:31] and went inside. Apparently my neighbor ended up talking to my mother when she came back home and she told her what happened. My mother says I was extremely rude, shouldn't have said those things

[00:18:41] and I have to apologize. I don't think I was in the wrong since it was literally only for a minute my robe covered everything anyway so am I the asshole? Absolutely not the asshole.

[00:18:55] And either the mums are also an asshole in this situation or she's been told some twisted version of this story from the neighbor like we usually say. That usually happens in these kind of stories because if your mother backs up this ridiculous bullshit then she's an asshole as

[00:19:11] well I'm afraid. Hell sometimes when I have to go and put the bins out I go out in my robe as well and I'm out there for a couple of minutes at least and if someone's offended by a cheeky

[00:19:21] bit of thigh that's on them and if someone come out yelling at me about it as well they'd be I'd be far less polite than you were they'd be getting two words and that's it. I always love

[00:19:30] the picture of like these sassy neighbors who come out start chatting shit to you and then when you back chat them they're like they do the gasp like oh how dare you just like piss off Sandra I ain't

[00:19:41] got time for your shit today. No offense to the Sandra's out there I just picked that one out the air there but cryo chamber says not the asshole you were fully covered in a robe she

[00:19:50] basically threw a hissy fit over your legs also you didn't even bring up her husband she did if she didn't want to clap back about how it'd be creepy then she shouldn't have brought him into

[00:19:59] the equation I wouldn't apologize for anything if anything she owes you one for berating you like that. Opie says yeah I thought so too thanks for the feedback unfortunately I'm being forced to

[00:20:11] apologize but it's nice knowing I'm not the only one thinking I shouldn't. Youth in Asia says your neighbor was extremely rude next time turn your back on her don't even indicate you heard her

[00:20:23] say anything at all let her rage at your retreating back not the asshole and I hope you feel better soon. Opie says thanks so much I think I'll have to do that probably for the best a bit annoying

[00:20:35] since my mom is making me apologize though thanks trying my best to recover. Skyscraper says your neighbor is very insecure start sun tanning in the backyard this summer walking around in your bikini wearing short shorts do anything to antagonize her she thinks you are sexy and she's

[00:20:54] afraid her husband is going to also. I'm 60 I walk around outside in my robe all the time and I don't give two fucks who sees me at play. And some people were asking Opie why didn't they just explain

[00:21:07] to the mom what exactly happened and Opie was coming back saying that the mom doesn't really listen to her which is really sad to be quite honest and the fact that Opie is being forced

[00:21:17] to apologize it just sounds like the mom's trying to keep up appearances in the area rather than defend her daughter who's being shouted at for doing absolutely nothing it's bullshit. I would

[00:21:27] suggest you send your mom maybe not I kind of want to suggest that you send your mom this link but also you know potentially just bring you more trouble in the end whatever path you go down Opie

[00:21:40] just recognize that you wasn't in the wrong I wish you a speedy recovery and f that neighbor. But what do you guys make of this situation? Let me know your thoughts down in the comments below.

[00:21:54] Your love, your support, your time always means the absolute world to me. Thank you so much and I will see you in the next one. You cheeky so and so. Much love guys.