Told My Fiance My Little Brother Is MORE Important To Me Than Him And Our Wedding r/Relationships

[00:00:02] Hey, what's all getting?

[00:00:03] I do hope you're well. My name is Mark and today we're checking out some more Reddit stories

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[00:00:15] And let's crack on with today's first story.

[00:00:18] Much love guys. Now, today's first story, I do want to give you a one before we do get into it

[00:00:22] and if you want to skip the story, I'm sent for always down in the description.

[00:00:25] And a long time line below by the way that contains a talk of the death of loved ones.

[00:00:31] A car accident is well, so if you do want to skip it, please feel free to do so.

[00:00:35] I was said, you have been warned. Much love guys. Now, this story is from Quit Lady 13.

[00:00:43] When the M.I.V.R.S. all here, subreddit says,

[00:00:46] Am I the asshole here?

[00:00:47] I'm telling my fiance that my little brother is more important than him.

[00:00:50] And our upcoming wedding.

[00:00:52] I'm 30 female.

[00:00:54] And I'm currently two months pregnant with my first child and engaged to my fiance of three years.

[00:01:00] Games, 31.

[00:01:02] What little background when I was 15, my parents had my baby brother.

[00:01:06] My five years after a while I was 20 and Matt was five.

[00:01:11] My parents and Matt were driving home when they got into an accident,

[00:01:14] resulting in my parent's death.

[00:01:17] After the accident, I was completely destroyed and devastated.

[00:01:21] But I had to pull myself together to be there for my brother.

[00:01:24] In the following month, I buried my parents and

[00:01:27] with the help of my aunt and uncle, I played for guardianship of my brother.

[00:01:31] It took about seven months before I was approved.

[00:01:34] I had to get a stable job slash income which I did.

[00:01:38] Proper housing for me and my brother,

[00:01:40] which I did by using money for my inheritance to buy a house and other little things.

[00:01:44] But in the end, I got my guardianship with my brother.

[00:01:47] It was hard at first, working well looking after my brother.

[00:01:51] It's easy now but there are still its ups and downs,

[00:01:54] but I would do it all over again for my brother.

[00:01:57] I met my fiance when I was 27 and had a gathering and we just clicked after three months of dating.

[00:02:03] He proposed to me.

[00:02:04] At first I said no because I still have my brother to take care of.

[00:02:08] But after thinking I said yes and we agreed to wait until we were financially stable.

[00:02:13] In the beginning of this year, we wanted to tie their knots.

[00:02:16] I was pregnant because I didn't want to baby to be born out of wedlock and

[00:02:21] we started the preparations and the wedding is happening in October.

[00:02:25] But from what happened last week, that a day night looks like there isn't going to be a wedding.

[00:02:31] There were many issues where we fought and resolved.

[00:02:34] For example, the wedding date, the date my fiance wanted for the wedding was on my brother's birthday.

[00:02:40] At a problem with that, I wanted to throw my brother a big party because he is turning 14.

[00:02:45] So I offered the week after in which we argued.

[00:02:49] They even ran to his mother to try and convince me, but I stood my ground stating my brother's birthday

[00:02:54] is important to me in him.

[00:02:56] It was a little more fighting but we ended up getting it resolved.

[00:02:59] There were the roles I wanted my brother to play my wedding.

[00:03:02] At first I offered my brother to be his best man, but he said he wanted his best friend and I said

[00:03:07] okay. Then I said ringboy. He would hold the rings on the little pillow and bring it up to us.

[00:03:14] But James said he wanted his nephew. I said okay and left it.

[00:03:19] Saturday morning I was watching this TikTok video with a bride after male best friend to be a man of

[00:03:24] honour. I thought it was sweet, but I decided to bring it to him.

[00:03:29] When he came home, I was in the kitchen when my brother was at a sleepover.

[00:03:32] At his friend's house that said it ain't night. As he entered in sat, I said I have the perfect

[00:03:37] role for Matt. He said what is that? I said I thought he could be my man of honour and then

[00:03:44] both wedding parties been coming out as couples, they came out as singles. He said what?

[00:03:51] I said man of honour or I would call it my brother of honour. It would be lovely.

[00:03:55] He said but I thought you wanted my sister to be your maid of honour so that can't work.

[00:04:00] I said I never agreed to this and what about my brother?

[00:04:03] I wanted to play some role in my wedding. He said I was thinking he could be a guest and sit in the

[00:04:09] rows. I was completely shocked, like I wanted my brother to be in my wedding and not some side guests.

[00:04:16] I didn't know what to say. He wanted to put my brother on the sidelines. His whole family was

[00:04:21] playing some part of the wedding and most of my bridesmaids were his cousins. Only two were close friends

[00:04:26] but this he couldn't grant me. I stopped what I was doing and told him no it was my wedding too.

[00:04:33] Now what am I brother to be my man of honour? He started that his sister was better,

[00:04:37] my brother would be a guest and he didn't want children in the wedding parties. I completely

[00:04:42] lost it and started arguing with him from one thing to the next. Since Saturday he hasn't come home.

[00:04:50] Only sending his brother to pick up some of his stuff and his mother insisted to have been

[00:04:54] blowing up my phone. I was selfish woman so what if my brother is a guest? Last time they called

[00:05:00] was Wednesday night and I went back and she crazy on both of them. Using language I'm not proud

[00:05:06] of but in the call with yes my brother is more important than him and this wedding if it's happening

[00:05:11] now I will never put him in front of Matt. So I'm fucking sorry and I'll let James contact me

[00:05:17] to talk things out. And it's one of those situations that we're seeing who this person is before

[00:05:23] you're getting married and that's dodging a bullet in my opinion. OP sounds like a wonderful person

[00:05:29] to take in a little brother the way that she has and looked after him. The best of her ability

[00:05:35] and imagine walking into that relationship knowing that he has this guardian relationship with

[00:05:41] a brother and then not including that in the wedding in some kind of way is just absolutely

[00:05:48] back-shit crazy in my opinion. Introduction No says not the asshole pumped the brakes on

[00:05:54] marrying this man baby who runs home to mommy when his temper tantrum doesn't get it way

[00:05:58] once. Then he has this family gang up on his pregnant girlfriend. He does not care about you,

[00:06:03] your wants or your needs. His selfish self-centered manipulative ability abuse even honestly

[00:06:09] a complete tool. Assume you're only marrying him because you don't want your child born out of

[00:06:14] wedlock. Please reconsider. His mask is slipping since now he's trapped you with a pregnancy

[00:06:20] and next a marriage. This is what abusers do you need to talk to your brother and see if your

[00:06:25] dipship baby daddy has been saying anything to him like threats or how things are going to be when

[00:06:31] he's the man of the house. Based on what you said I bet he either has or has some grand plan as

[00:06:37] the how life will be in your home and for the love of God who not put that man on the deat

[00:06:42] your house. In fact if you go through with a marriage get a pre-nup, let he lose this ship when you do.

[00:06:48] You're a great mom to your brother and you did it all on your own. He's your child and

[00:06:54] you're absolutely positively doing the right thing here. You'll be a great mom to your baby as well.

[00:07:00] If you marry this man, you'll just be parenting another child.

[00:07:06] As an asian street quotes after three months of dating he proposed and then says this was already a red

[00:07:11] flag actually given you pause about him and all of the other shit. You'll soon to be ex

[00:07:17] jealous of your brother and his plan to cancel him from your slash his life after the wedding.

[00:07:23] I'd be 100% rethinking having a kid with someone like this. You'll be jealous of the baby and

[00:07:28] thinking up ways to destroy that kid self esteem, listen to family and more. First pay reply

[00:07:34] says saying try to set up the wedding date on our brothers birthday and try to stick to it

[00:07:38] with a pretty big one too. That was very very deliberate. I can be terrible with dates

[00:07:43] though I can give a half-hearted pass to the initial pick of the date. If we give benefit

[00:07:49] of the doubt he forgot. As since his first response wasn't warped my bad,

[00:07:54] of course we should pick another date. It is guaranteed a plan to use the date to try and

[00:07:59] erase little bro a bit. One final comment from Open Incident who says not the asshole,

[00:08:04] he just saved you a miserable marriage. If works so hard for your brother's stability,

[00:08:09] you're not throw it away now by letting his man back into your home.

[00:08:13] Co-parent with him if you continue the pregnancy but consider yourself warned.

[00:08:17] An adult man should not have that much anger towards a child,

[00:08:20] who not let him live with your brother. I know what shit he's already told your brother when you

[00:08:25] couldn't hear. He will slate your brother over his child every chance he gets. Your brother will

[00:08:31] suffer if you marry this man or let him live with you again. The OP comes in with a rub

[00:08:36] in so hello everyone. I'm very sorry I didn't get to update it. You to me being busy with work

[00:08:41] and canceling every wedding preparation I made and preparing math for sports camp.

[00:08:47] For like everyone to know that I will not be marrying James and we broke up.

[00:08:51] Well on Friday the week after posting my original post I got a message from James,

[00:08:56] asking to meet and talk. But Johnny agreed to if I could pick the day that we can meet

[00:09:00] and would you agree to? After picking a day which was Sunday where I knew math wouldn't be

[00:09:06] home all day and I notified James and he came around the midday period with his mother.

[00:09:14] Oh dear, I was shocked when I opened a door and then the men. As they sat in my living room

[00:09:19] not saying a word for a few seconds but she made the moment more awkward and James stated he

[00:09:23] was sorry for leaving and staying away because he needed to think and his mother started condemning

[00:09:29] me saying that wasn't acting like a future wife and I should put my future husband's thoughts

[00:09:33] into consideration and a lot of other comments. My name and disappointed in you. You're getting married

[00:09:40] and you need to stop acting like this to your future husband, she said to me.

[00:09:45] I scoffed hearing that then turned James asking what this problem is with my brother and it

[00:09:49] has more to do with me showing attention to my brother than him. He sat there not saying a word

[00:09:55] for a while and stated he wanted a life with me and the unborn child but not with Matt.

[00:10:01] I felt utter disgust for him at that moment as he continued to say that after the wedding

[00:10:06] and having a baby he thought it would convince me that raising a baby in a teenager would be

[00:10:11] hard for both of us and it'd be best for me to send Matt to live with my uncle and aunt.

[00:10:15] But he would allow me to still support Matt financially. I was completely shocked

[00:10:22] before he uttered anything else I told him sorry but no, isn't happening my brother

[00:10:26] isn't going anywhere. I stood up to cough the ring handed it back to him and told him that it was over

[00:10:32] after saying that both him and his mother got up arguing that I didn't have to do that and I

[00:10:37] will regret this and he started to cry asking me to think about what I'm saying. I just walked

[00:10:43] over to the door opened it and jess should for them to leave a few minutes passed and then they

[00:10:53] later on in the evening his sister and mother rang down my phone cursing me out but I only told

[00:10:58] them to let james from vris remaining stuff. There are a few things I would like to respond to.

[00:11:04] One, I saw many ask why didn't choose Matt to walk me down the aisle. I gave my uncle my

[00:11:10] father's older brother the role because after the whole funeral he was there helping me to

[00:11:14] acquire guarding ship and just being there over the years for both me and Matt.

[00:11:19] Two, furthermore I made a mistake in my original post, Matt is turning 15 this year.

[00:11:25] I didn't see the typo, I'm truly sorry for that. Three, many of you advised me to abort.

[00:11:30] I won't have any ties to james but I'm sorry I had to think and I wouldn't do any abortion

[00:11:35] and I would carry the baby to full turn. Or as many of you stated I should sit down and talk to my

[00:11:41] brother and if james even mistreated him when I'm not around him which I did but he said no

[00:11:47] that james mostly ignored him and he does the same. Plus I also told him the wedding is off.

[00:11:53] Now, I didn't like the dude in the first part of the post and now I fucking despise him.

[00:11:58] Ugh, how can he walk into this relationship knowing that she's the guardian of a brother and

[00:12:03] expect in her to just send him away? How un-disgusting is that? I need to scroll back I need to see

[00:12:18] to his fiancee's or ex fiancee's house with his mum. I know is not the point of the story but

[00:12:25] I always think about these situations. How does that happen? As he go round to his mum and his

[00:12:30] mum right, let's go round there, come on james, what does he turn up at the door and go

[00:12:36] mum? Come on, hit your coat, we need to go and talk to my fiancee. How does that happen?

[00:12:42] I need the rhythm stand back and think like me this is gonna look weird.

[00:12:46] Say it with me guys, how g-bloody whiz but anyway now I'm gonna turn this one to you guys.

[00:12:53] OP Dodge the huge bullet there in my opinion but what do you guys make of this situation?

[00:13:00] Let me know your thoughts down in the comments below and let's move on to another story.

[00:13:06] Our next story comes from popular valuable 243 from the M.I.V.R.s all subreddit and says

[00:13:11] I.V.R.s all for telling my sister that she shouldn't overvalue herself and prepare for the worst.

[00:13:18] For a where count, I 21 female have an older sister EV 29 female, where the first child,

[00:13:25] Lori 1 female. What there should be a time of joy and excitement, there's actually a lot of tension

[00:13:31] and bring resentment between her, our mum and her husband Jack 29 male. Despite it being

[00:13:37] unplanned, E's pregnancy was wanted and Jack was an involved partner. He went to most of

[00:13:43] these appointments with the burden classes and supported E's decision to have our mum in the room

[00:13:49] while he waited outside when she gave birth. The plan was for our mum to be by EV side in the

[00:13:53] room and help stay for a week after Lori was born. Everyone was cool with this but unfortunately

[00:13:59] I ran out of some drama with her husband in another state and my mum rushed over to be at

[00:14:04] this side. E was already in a third trimester so Jack didn't like the idea of our mum going

[00:14:11] and voiced it. Our mum toward Jack and new one, and he even got on his case about it so he

[00:14:16] apologized. However, E ended up going into labor and Jack ultimately was the one in the room

[00:14:22] while our mum was away. When she called out my mum express being sad, even not being there

[00:14:27] for the birth of her first grandchild and she and E decided that no one else in the family would see

[00:14:33] Lori until she got back without discussing it with Jack. Who's understandably not happy as

[00:14:39] his mum lived about 45 minutes away and was looking forward to meeting Lori too. She was the

[00:14:45] first grandchild on both sides. E pulled the I just gave birth card and Jack reluctantly allowed

[00:14:51] it. On the day that our mum was supposed to come back, she missed her flight and couldn't get

[00:14:56] a new one until the following morning. Our mum could have just rented a car but she didn't

[00:15:01] to spend the money since the airline wouldn't refund the money. Jack was brought up allowing

[00:15:06] his mum to come again, but E refused sighting that he already agreed. Unfortunately, Jack's

[00:15:12] mum was in a car accident and passed before, he even getting to meet Lori since E wouldn't

[00:15:17] even allow a video chat. Jack was destroyed. He moved to the guest bedroom, went to the funeral alone

[00:15:24] and refuses to engage with E the tour. Jack's side of the family keeps calling and messaging E

[00:15:29] to tell her what a selfish and awful person she is and Jack refuses to defend.

[00:15:35] Eventually, he got sick of it and packed up and left to our mum's house to each Jack a lesson.

[00:15:41] He hasn't text or called. I'm on things that he just needs from space and that he'll call soon

[00:15:47] and I just laughed at that. It didn't mean to though. I'm only going to leave the rest of my life

[00:15:52] and I tried to brush it off for even leave that they couldn't let me in press for an answer.

[00:15:58] Eventually, I told her that while the accident wasn't her fault, she did keep Lori away from

[00:16:03] Jack's mum meeting her for a week and now she never will. There's no way Jack is going to

[00:16:08] ever love you enough if I give that and that you should prepare for the worst. E started to

[00:16:13] ball her eyes at what mum berated me so I left. I, he asked her. Edit, just to clarify because

[00:16:20] I keep seeing this when the accident first happened. E has a apologise reset for a time.

[00:16:26] Jack has admitted to this and he even tended to go to the funeral with him. They drove off without

[00:16:31] her. Jack does interact with Lori, to either he's icing out and my niece is the only thing

[00:16:37] he's willing to talk to either about. Jack had been living in the guest room for about five

[00:16:42] months before he left. She's offered to go to couples counseling but Jack has refused.

[00:16:47] So some relevant comments, someone says what was up with your aunt? Opey says to be fair it

[00:16:52] was an ass more thing. My aunt's husband was revealed to be cheating and used her personal

[00:16:57] information to take out credit cards in her name, but pay for his sidepiece, plus the potential

[00:17:02] danger of her own health. A commenter who was downvoted says y'all the asshole who completely

[00:17:08] right but you're an asshole to mention it. Why rub it in and cause drama? You should just have kept

[00:17:14] silent. Dang out of it would have been the reasonable option. They needed someone to blame.

[00:17:20] Why off of yourself up for that? Opey says I tried to brush it off in more

[00:17:24] good way but they physically stood in front of my way and demanded an answer.

[00:17:29] So what says if she's still bad-mouthing him, she obviously didn't mean it.

[00:17:34] The apology with an understanding of what exactly she did wrong. Opey Jake is well supported

[00:17:39] by his family and can see his daughter soon. Opey says Eve hasn't bad-mouthed him at least to me

[00:17:45] since his mom's accident, but she is frustrated that he's no longer affectionate and doesn't

[00:17:51] engage with her like before. Another downvoted commenter says y'all the asshole's story but

[00:17:56] are you married? A parent in love in a relationship? No? Maybe put a call in it. Why would you say

[00:18:02] something like that was incredibly vindictive and nasty? She is a new mother going through it and

[00:18:08] you could have been compassionate. Even civil. You laughing at someone's misfortunes,

[00:18:13] much less your sister says a lot about your character. A husband may never forgive her but that's

[00:18:19] not on her. Be honest, it'd be hard to give you for kicking her when she was down so there's that.

[00:18:25] Opey says married? No? A parent? No? In love? Yes? In a relationship? Also yes.

[00:18:31] And please read the post again. L'Ore is now a year old and Jack's mum died when she was less

[00:18:36] than three weeks all. This has been an ongoing issue with months and I tried not to say anything and

[00:18:42] even walk away in order to be civil but my mum and sister kept pressing me for an answer.

[00:18:48] Commenter says, I didn't Jack just let his mother come anyway. I'm amazed he put up with

[00:18:53] that bullshit. He sounded like a treasure of a husband and he really screwed herself by treating

[00:18:58] him and his family like that. Opey says because it was just supposed to be one week. No one saw

[00:19:04] this accident coming and Jack didn't want to stress out my sister but just given birth.

[00:19:08] Who's even trying to respect the wishes and got screwed over because of it?

[00:19:13] A commenter says the fact that your sister wouldn't even allow a face time. That's some

[00:19:17] ridiculously petty bullshit. She deserves to be a struggling single mum for their choice alone.

[00:19:23] Or didn't blame Jack for being the type of coperant who are only coperant through a phone app.

[00:19:28] Opey says, yeah I think her being pregnant made a loose touch with reality and logical

[00:19:33] is usually understanding and reasonable. On the Eve's apologies and mum's apologies Opey said,

[00:19:41] from what she told me it was a, I'm sorry I did X the first time and then I'm sorry but I didn't

[00:19:46] know that Y would happen and then I'm sorry but we can. Opey also says, my mum did reach out

[00:19:53] to give her condolences for Jack's mum's passing. I didn't know if she apologized for insisting

[00:19:57] on being the first grandparent to see the baby. Also I know that Eve apologised at least three

[00:20:02] separate times but it could have been more. I honestly don't know. The overall Opey was voted

[00:20:09] not the asshole in this situation and then followed up with an update two months later and said,

[00:20:16] hey there's been a couple of weeks and due to people still occasionally asking, I thought I'd

[00:20:20] give people some quick updates to the situation. Here are the basic bullet points. My sister has now

[00:20:25] officially diagnosed with post-part and depression and that is the trump card slash L. Mary the

[00:20:31] situation. My sister and her husband are living together and are in couple therapy. My sister

[00:20:36] is an individual counselling. My niece has now been officially introduced to a few members of a

[00:20:41] eternal side and they all love her. Jack's family have ceased their negative comments about my

[00:20:46] sister but she says they're still pretty formal and distant towards her. Honestly don't know if

[00:20:51] yet Eve would be a negative grace as again and we're only put up with her and my brother in

[00:20:55] law and Lisa's sake. My niece's name first in middle is going to be legally changed to whatever

[00:21:01] Jack wants. But our next five years, brother in law's side of the family is getting priority when

[00:21:06] it comes to any and all holidays. My mum will be on a strict info diet when it comes to the baby.

[00:21:12] No pictures unless Jack approves. This is all I know right now and my mum is not happy with

[00:21:18] any of this and is calling Jack a controlling asshole. But my sister is holding firm and an effort

[00:21:23] to save her marriage. She claims that brother in law and her are making progress in counselling

[00:21:28] and I hope the hersake that is true. It's going to suck not being able to see my niece as much

[00:21:33] as I wanted, but the next possible few years. A compared to never being able to see her at all

[00:21:38] like Jack's mum it is what it is. I know a lot of you may not be happy with this update but

[00:21:44] it is what it is for now. OP adds some thoughts below that and says, I want to know that Jack

[00:21:51] has taken full advantage of Eve's willingness to do whatever it takes to save the marriage.

[00:21:56] Jack has never come off as a controlling person in the past. I mean he didn't put up any

[00:22:00] opposition to Eve's request in the months since finding out she was pregnant. The Eve has

[00:22:05] a support system if she feels like he's getting to be too much. I'm not going to get involved

[00:22:10] into I suspect violence. The commoner says I don't know how I feel about this.

[00:22:15] Changing the baby's name after a year to whatever the husband wants. Are I to be the

[00:22:19] holidays for five years? No pictures for your mum unless Jack approves of it? It seems like jumping

[00:22:25] from the fire pan directly into the fire. If these are the terms set up by Jack in order to save

[00:22:30] the marriage, one I doubt the marriage counter knows about these specific ones I mentioned and two

[00:22:36] is it even worth saving? Your sister has no autonomy over their child, no autonomy over a schedule,

[00:22:43] no ability to share a photo with her mother. You have limited contact with your niece.

[00:22:48] Who really won here other than Jack and his family who might someday be nice to your sister?

[00:22:53] Yes, your sister was a wrong and the original post. Of course she was, but not one thing

[00:22:58] on the list can change what happened. Not one. And this part of the list sounds like they could

[00:23:03] lead to some EV situations in the future on Jack's part. Icehalation from support systems is one of

[00:23:09] those factors. OPC says Jack's mum suddenly passed away and she was a loving and sweet person

[00:23:15] or wouldn't exactly call it a win. Also from what Eva has told me, it is not isolation,

[00:23:21] so much as strict boundaries. He said that these restrictions are only for the baby

[00:23:26] and that she's able to still have regular contact with whoever else she chooses. This just feels like

[00:23:31] one of those stories that isn't going to end well. Like the comments said, it just feels like

[00:23:36] there's going to be resentment down the line with these conditions etc. None of it feels healthy,

[00:23:43] but what do you guys make of this situation? Let me know your thoughts down in the comments below.

[00:23:50] I just a huge thank you for being here today for getting involved in the stories. You'll love

[00:23:54] your support your time always means the absolute world to me, so thank you so so much for

[00:23:59] involved and hopefully I'll see you in the next one. Take care and much love.