Sister-In-Law Feels ENTITLED To My Bingo Winnings r/Relationships

[00:00:02] [SPEAKER_01]: You know that, you are a single-challenge, fast-moving girl,

[00:00:06] [SPEAKER_01]: you are a coffee and a bag, a flag.

[00:00:09] [SPEAKER_01]: No panic, a puzzle, a disc, a day,

[00:00:12] [SPEAKER_01]: with their craft-form details,

[00:00:15] [SPEAKER_01]: the hard-nac-y flaking, for deep-shrinkness.

[00:00:18] [SPEAKER_01]: Just the disc is the dream of being,

[00:00:20] [SPEAKER_01]: and the rest, that's what your machine does.

[00:00:22] [SPEAKER_01]: Because you always have your best,

[00:00:25] [SPEAKER_01]: try the best discs from a puzzle,

[00:00:28] [SPEAKER_01]: and you will be able to find out who's going to be.

[00:00:36] [SPEAKER_02]: Hey, what's up, what's up, I do hope you're well.

[00:00:39] [SPEAKER_02]: My name is Mark and today we're checking out some more Reddit stories.

[00:00:42] [SPEAKER_02]: If you do love a Reddit story, why not consider?

[00:00:45] [SPEAKER_02]: In the like, subscribe, maybe that notification bell too.

[00:00:48] [SPEAKER_02]: And let's crack on with today's first story.

[00:00:51] [SPEAKER_02]: Much love guys.

[00:00:52] [SPEAKER_02]: Now, today's first story is titled,

[00:00:54] [SPEAKER_02]: Sister In The Orcfields in Titled,

[00:00:56] [SPEAKER_02]: to my bingo winnings.

[00:00:59] [SPEAKER_02]: Alright, so this might seem a bit odd, but I've gotta story for you guys.

[00:01:03] [SPEAKER_02]: About my sister in the Orc Deb.

[00:01:05] [SPEAKER_02]: Now, Deb and I have had a relationship

[00:01:07] [SPEAKER_02]: that could be described as, well, complicated.

[00:01:11] [SPEAKER_02]: She's been a part of my life since I started dating my wife over 10 years ago.

[00:01:16] [SPEAKER_02]: Being the elder sister of my wife, Lucy, Deb's always had a protective streak.

[00:01:21] [SPEAKER_02]: From the get go, she's always kept an eye on me,

[00:01:23] [SPEAKER_02]: the specious of every move I made around Lucy.

[00:01:26] [SPEAKER_02]: Despite that over time we managed to find some common ground in,

[00:01:30] [SPEAKER_02]: the least expected of places, bingo.

[00:01:34] [SPEAKER_02]: Yeah, bingo.

[00:01:35] [SPEAKER_02]: I never thought I'd be one of those people who played it regularly,

[00:01:38] [SPEAKER_02]: but life has a way of surprising you.

[00:01:41] [SPEAKER_02]: Turns out, Deb is a bingo fanatic.

[00:01:44] [SPEAKER_02]: I was skeptical at first by accompanied her to a session one night

[00:01:47] [SPEAKER_02]: and, myself, unexpectedly enjoying the thrill of it.

[00:01:51] [SPEAKER_02]: Plus, it seemed to bring us closer.

[00:01:53] [SPEAKER_02]: We even started a tradition splitting any winnings we made

[00:01:57] [SPEAKER_02]: irrespective of who actually won.

[00:02:00] [SPEAKER_02]: A bit about our winnings.

[00:02:02] [SPEAKER_02]: There were a few times before we had smaller wins.

[00:02:05] [SPEAKER_02]: The large is being 200 pounds,

[00:02:07] [SPEAKER_02]: but even then we'd always split the winnings 50-50.

[00:02:10] [SPEAKER_02]: No questions asked.

[00:02:12] [SPEAKER_02]: It was an unspoken agreement,

[00:02:14] [SPEAKER_02]: a real tradition that had blossomed between us.

[00:02:17] [SPEAKER_02]: Those wins were fun moments,

[00:02:19] [SPEAKER_02]: times where we celebrated together

[00:02:21] [SPEAKER_02]: and you could feel the bond between a strengthen.

[00:02:24] [SPEAKER_02]: And Lucy, my wife, was thrilled about this.

[00:02:27] [SPEAKER_02]: The sea of husband and a sister,

[00:02:29] [SPEAKER_02]: bonding over something as simple as bingo.

[00:02:31] [SPEAKER_02]: She loved it.

[00:02:33] [SPEAKER_02]: The smile and the face when we would come back from our games,

[00:02:35] [SPEAKER_02]: laughing and joking about the near misses

[00:02:37] [SPEAKER_02]: and lucky course was worth every penny we had ever won.

[00:02:41] [SPEAKER_02]: It was an unusual bonding experience,

[00:02:44] [SPEAKER_02]: but it worked for us.

[00:02:45] [SPEAKER_02]: I've been going nights for about more than just the game

[00:02:48] [SPEAKER_02]: or the winnings.

[00:02:48] [SPEAKER_02]: There was a time for family, a time that brought us closer

[00:02:51] [SPEAKER_02]: and now it feels like it's on the verge of being lost

[00:02:54] [SPEAKER_02]: over this one big win.

[00:02:57] [SPEAKER_02]: So, about two weeks ago,

[00:02:59] [SPEAKER_02]: our relationship hit a new low.

[00:03:02] [SPEAKER_02]: There was always was set to go for bingo night on Thursday,

[00:03:06] [SPEAKER_02]: but then she cancelled.

[00:03:07] [SPEAKER_02]: At the last minute saying,

[00:03:09] [SPEAKER_02]: she had a work emergency.

[00:03:11] [SPEAKER_02]: What was a bit disappointed,

[00:03:12] [SPEAKER_02]: but I thought, what the heck?

[00:03:14] [SPEAKER_02]: I'll go anyway.

[00:03:16] [SPEAKER_02]: Now for the plot twist.

[00:03:17] [SPEAKER_02]: I won.

[00:03:18] [SPEAKER_02]: I won the biggest pot that had in a while.

[00:03:21] [SPEAKER_02]: We're talking about a few thousand pounds here.

[00:03:24] [SPEAKER_02]: I was thrilled.

[00:03:25] [SPEAKER_02]: I called their blader thinking she'd be excited for me,

[00:03:28] [SPEAKER_02]: but to my shock, she wasn't.

[00:03:31] [SPEAKER_02]: She was quite for a moment before she jokingly said.

[00:03:34] [SPEAKER_02]: We're splitting it right?

[00:03:36] [SPEAKER_02]: A question caught me off guard.

[00:03:38] [SPEAKER_02]: She wasn't there that night.

[00:03:39] [SPEAKER_02]: She didn't buy a ticket.

[00:03:41] [SPEAKER_02]: She didn't play, so why would she expect the share?

[00:03:44] [SPEAKER_02]: I was a bit taken aback

[00:03:46] [SPEAKER_02]: but decided to deal with it later

[00:03:47] [SPEAKER_02]: and kind of laughed it off

[00:03:49] [SPEAKER_02]: and awkwardly said, right?

[00:03:51] [SPEAKER_02]: I've got some bits to do.

[00:03:52] [SPEAKER_02]: We'll talk later.

[00:03:54] [SPEAKER_02]: Finally, last night I managed to have a proper conversation

[00:03:57] [SPEAKER_02]: with Lucy about the whole debacle.

[00:03:59] [SPEAKER_02]: We sat down and I asked her genuinely

[00:04:01] [SPEAKER_02]: if she thought I should split the money with Deb.

[00:04:04] [SPEAKER_02]: After a long pause, she shook her head.

[00:04:06] [SPEAKER_02]: She said that she loved her sister,

[00:04:08] [SPEAKER_02]: but she agreed that Deb wasn't right

[00:04:10] [SPEAKER_02]: in expecting a share this time.

[00:04:11] [SPEAKER_02]: She hadn't been there, hadn't participated,

[00:04:14] [SPEAKER_02]: that wasn't fair for her to claim the winnings.

[00:04:17] [SPEAKER_02]: Despite the support, I can't help

[00:04:19] [SPEAKER_02]: but feel a little conflicted.

[00:04:21] [SPEAKER_02]: I mean, sure, Deb wasn't there that night,

[00:04:24] [SPEAKER_02]: but she'd been my partner in this for years.

[00:04:26] [SPEAKER_02]: Without her, I might not even have started playing bingo.

[00:04:29] [SPEAKER_02]: Without her, there wouldn't have been any wins to share in the past.

[00:04:33] [SPEAKER_02]: What do you think?

[00:04:35] [SPEAKER_02]: Did I stand my ground, keep the winnings,

[00:04:37] [SPEAKER_02]: or can I split it to maintain their tradition

[00:04:39] [SPEAKER_02]: and hopefully mend the bridge that's been burned?

[00:04:42] [SPEAKER_02]: Or to appreciate any advice or insights?

[00:04:45] [SPEAKER_02]: I know this isn't an amy the arse

[00:04:47] [SPEAKER_02]: but I'd say not the arse all in this situation.

[00:04:50] [SPEAKER_02]: I mean, simply she wasn't there

[00:04:53] [SPEAKER_02]: and I've done these kind of things with my friends

[00:04:55] [SPEAKER_02]: before we've put bets on the things,

[00:04:57] [SPEAKER_02]: but we do it together so we put like,

[00:04:59] [SPEAKER_02]: let's say a dog race for example.

[00:05:01] [SPEAKER_02]: We both put on a different dog,

[00:05:03] [SPEAKER_02]: but we say afterwards,

[00:05:04] [SPEAKER_02]: if he's right dogs with, let's split the money kind of things

[00:05:06] [SPEAKER_02]: so you got a double chance

[00:05:08] [SPEAKER_02]: and if she's not there,

[00:05:09] [SPEAKER_02]: you're not getting that second chance at winning.

[00:05:11] [SPEAKER_02]: So it kind of null and voids it in the end though.

[00:05:14] [SPEAKER_02]: I guess it's difficult because if I was in her position,

[00:05:19] [SPEAKER_02]: there's nowhere to approach you and ask that kind of question,

[00:05:21] [SPEAKER_02]: it just wouldn't be right.

[00:05:22] [SPEAKER_02]: But I got a feeling if you wasn't to do it,

[00:05:25] [SPEAKER_02]: things could escalate potentially damage the relationship.

[00:05:28] [SPEAKER_02]: Not that I'm saying that you should do that

[00:05:30] [SPEAKER_02]: I'm just thinking, you know,

[00:05:31] [SPEAKER_02]: but that kind of attitude I think it will damage things.

[00:05:35] [SPEAKER_02]: But become a little of a commenter says,

[00:05:37] [SPEAKER_02]: wow, your sister in law sounds pretty entitled

[00:05:39] [SPEAKER_02]: to expect this year when she didn't even participate in the game.

[00:05:43] [SPEAKER_02]: Stick to your guns mate.

[00:05:44] [SPEAKER_02]: But the commenter says, in all fairness,

[00:05:46] [SPEAKER_02]: I think traditions can be amended based on circumstances.

[00:05:49] [SPEAKER_02]: Deb wasn't present this time

[00:05:51] [SPEAKER_02]: so I believe you were justified in keeping the winnings.

[00:05:54] [SPEAKER_02]: Another says,

[00:05:55] [SPEAKER_02]: has someone who's a regular at bingo games.

[00:05:57] [SPEAKER_02]: I can say this, you win some, you'll lose some

[00:05:59] [SPEAKER_02]: and sometimes you don't even get to play.

[00:06:02] [SPEAKER_02]: Deb missed out and it's not your fault.

[00:06:05] [SPEAKER_02]: But the commenter says,

[00:06:06] [SPEAKER_02]: traditions shouldn't be at the expense of fairness.

[00:06:09] [SPEAKER_02]: She's acting pretty entitled to the mind

[00:06:11] [SPEAKER_02]: to share the winning she didn't contribute to.

[00:06:13] [SPEAKER_02]: Stand your ground.

[00:06:15] [SPEAKER_02]: Another commenter says,

[00:06:16] [SPEAKER_02]: it's a tricky situation

[00:06:17] [SPEAKER_02]: and Libond can be strained by such disputes.

[00:06:21] [SPEAKER_02]: Perhaps consider talking to that with her again,

[00:06:23] [SPEAKER_02]: or even compromise if you think it's worth maintaining peace.

[00:06:27] [SPEAKER_02]: The final comment says,

[00:06:28] [SPEAKER_02]: I can understand your predicament,

[00:06:30] [SPEAKER_02]: but consider this.

[00:06:31] [SPEAKER_02]: Is the money worth more than the relationship

[00:06:33] [SPEAKER_02]: you've built over the years with Deb?

[00:06:35] [SPEAKER_02]: I know she wasn't there that night,

[00:06:37] [SPEAKER_02]: but if you've always split the winnings,

[00:06:39] [SPEAKER_02]: maybe it's worth it to maintain the peace.

[00:06:41] [SPEAKER_02]: Sometimes it's not about who's right or wrong,

[00:06:44] [SPEAKER_02]: but it's about what's best the family in the long run.

[00:06:47] [SPEAKER_02]: The OP comes back into it,

[00:06:49] [SPEAKER_02]: says after a few days of mulling over the situation,

[00:06:52] [SPEAKER_02]: I finally decided to confront Deb directly.

[00:06:55] [SPEAKER_02]: I found a pit in my stomach as I dialed her number.

[00:06:58] [SPEAKER_02]: It rang a few times before she picked up.

[00:07:00] [SPEAKER_02]: Deb, again,

[00:07:02] [SPEAKER_02]: we need to talk about this bingo situation.

[00:07:05] [SPEAKER_02]: You really think you're entitled to half the winnings.

[00:07:08] [SPEAKER_02]: There was a moment of silence on the other end.

[00:07:10] [SPEAKER_02]: I could almost hear her preparing her defense.

[00:07:13] [SPEAKER_02]: Then she spoke.

[00:07:14] [SPEAKER_02]: She sounded almost slightly aggressive if that makes sense.

[00:07:17] [SPEAKER_02]: Yes, I do.

[00:07:18] [SPEAKER_02]: We've always shared the winnings, haven't we?

[00:07:20] [SPEAKER_02]: I should this time be any different.

[00:07:22] [SPEAKER_02]: I said, but Deb, you weren't there that night.

[00:07:24] [SPEAKER_02]: You didn't buy the ticket.

[00:07:26] [SPEAKER_02]: You didn't play the game.

[00:07:27] [SPEAKER_02]: Can you really claim the winnings?

[00:07:29] [SPEAKER_02]: I would have been there if I could.

[00:07:31] [SPEAKER_02]: You know that.

[00:07:32] [SPEAKER_02]: If you shot back and she seemed to get angry this time.

[00:07:35] [SPEAKER_02]: Work emergency's happened and if the roles were reversed,

[00:07:38] [SPEAKER_02]: if you were the one absent,

[00:07:40] [SPEAKER_02]: I would have shared my winnings with you.

[00:07:42] [SPEAKER_02]: That's what our tradition means to me.

[00:07:44] [SPEAKER_02]: Are you really going to say that you were not sharing?

[00:07:46] [SPEAKER_02]: What does Lucy said about this?

[00:07:49] [SPEAKER_02]: Sure, we had always shared our winnings,

[00:07:51] [SPEAKER_02]: but we'd always played together too.

[00:07:53] [SPEAKER_02]: I couldn't help but feel like her absence

[00:07:55] [SPEAKER_02]: had broken our tradition.

[00:07:57] [SPEAKER_02]: Yeah, I hope belief that she would have shared

[00:07:59] [SPEAKER_02]: how the roles been reversed did give me pause.

[00:08:02] [SPEAKER_02]: And then mention how Lucy agrees with me.

[00:08:05] [SPEAKER_02]: And as soon as I said it,

[00:08:06] [SPEAKER_02]: it felt like a huge mistake

[00:08:09] [SPEAKER_02]: I heard a mumble that you were f***ing kidding me.

[00:08:12] [SPEAKER_02]: I get an angry kind of felt like it was the beginning

[00:08:14] [SPEAKER_02]: of the end of our relationship anyway.

[00:08:16] [SPEAKER_02]: So I was thinking of doubling down

[00:08:18] [SPEAKER_02]: and not bothering to worry about it anymore.

[00:08:20] [SPEAKER_02]: But at the same time,

[00:08:21] [SPEAKER_02]: I may have just damaged the relationship between the sisters.

[00:08:24] [SPEAKER_02]: And if a couple of grand souls or these issues,

[00:08:27] [SPEAKER_02]: it got to be a good thing, right?

[00:08:29] [SPEAKER_02]: That was the mindset then, but they also later,

[00:08:32] [SPEAKER_02]: I found out there, but called Lucy,

[00:08:34] [SPEAKER_02]: and happened saying all sorts of things,

[00:08:36] [SPEAKER_02]: getting them mum involved.

[00:08:38] [SPEAKER_02]: Hopefully she won't see this.

[00:08:40] [SPEAKER_02]: There's a right pain in my asshole,

[00:08:42] [SPEAKER_02]: piles, she's the piles of my ass.

[00:08:47] [SPEAKER_02]: Oh, yeah, I was there for the conversation,

[00:08:50] [SPEAKER_02]: but I couldn't hear any of it.

[00:08:52] [SPEAKER_02]: I could only hear one side of the conversation,

[00:08:55] [SPEAKER_02]: but Lucy's face said it all.

[00:08:57] [SPEAKER_02]: Jewish struggled with conflict,

[00:08:59] [SPEAKER_02]: especially her family.

[00:09:00] [SPEAKER_02]: After she hung up, she told me about the court.

[00:09:03] [SPEAKER_02]: There had to try to manipulate her into persuading me

[00:09:05] [SPEAKER_02]: to give her the money.

[00:09:06] [SPEAKER_02]: She used their sisterly bond as a weapon,

[00:09:09] [SPEAKER_02]: trying to guilt Lucy into sighting with her.

[00:09:12] [SPEAKER_02]: As if that wasn't enough, later in the evening,

[00:09:15] [SPEAKER_02]: Lucy received another call.

[00:09:16] [SPEAKER_02]: This time from their mother,

[00:09:18] [SPEAKER_02]: a mum had always been the peacemaker.

[00:09:21] [SPEAKER_02]: A used peacemaker lightly.

[00:09:23] [SPEAKER_02]: That's what they call her.

[00:09:24] [SPEAKER_02]: I think she's trouble, in the family.

[00:09:27] [SPEAKER_02]: But this time it seemed like she was sighting with Deb.

[00:09:30] [SPEAKER_02]: She kept saying things like,

[00:09:31] [SPEAKER_02]: it's only fair and your sisters

[00:09:33] [SPEAKER_02]: don't let money come between you.

[00:09:35] [SPEAKER_02]: This made the situation even more complicated.

[00:09:39] [SPEAKER_02]: It was no longer just about the winnings.

[00:09:41] [SPEAKER_02]: It was becoming a family issue.

[00:09:43] [SPEAKER_02]: But by this point, I was becoming numb about the situation.

[00:09:46] [SPEAKER_02]: It was really pissing me off that they claimed

[00:09:48] [SPEAKER_02]: we're making this about money.

[00:09:50] [SPEAKER_02]: When they were the ones doing it,

[00:09:52] [SPEAKER_02]: I decided that, nope, I wasn't going to give in

[00:09:55] [SPEAKER_02]: and talk to Lucy about how she wants to deal with the situation.

[00:09:58] [SPEAKER_02]: She claimed it'd be easier to hand over the money,

[00:10:01] [SPEAKER_02]: but she really doesn't believe she's entitled to it.

[00:10:04] [SPEAKER_02]: How part of me cheered inside as there was very rare

[00:10:07] [SPEAKER_02]: to see Lucy battle her family.

[00:10:10] [SPEAKER_02]: It all came to her head

[00:10:11] [SPEAKER_02]: but out of the blue Lucy's mum paid us a visit.

[00:10:14] [SPEAKER_02]: She looked serious and she was on a mission.

[00:10:17] [SPEAKER_02]: She began explaining how Deb was feeling,

[00:10:19] [SPEAKER_02]: how hurt she was and how this entire role deal

[00:10:22] [SPEAKER_02]: was ruining all of our relationships

[00:10:24] [SPEAKER_02]: and it's just money.

[00:10:27] [SPEAKER_02]: But I had enough.

[00:10:28] [SPEAKER_02]: I patients had reached its end.

[00:10:30] [SPEAKER_02]: It's not happening, I said.

[00:10:31] [SPEAKER_02]: She's making this about money.

[00:10:33] [SPEAKER_02]: Deb is being greedy about this

[00:10:35] [SPEAKER_02]: and she won't be receiving anything.

[00:10:38] [SPEAKER_02]: Lucy's mum looked taken aback, but she quickly said,

[00:10:41] [SPEAKER_02]: you know, if you don't share,

[00:10:42] [SPEAKER_02]: Deb all likely stopped talking to you.

[00:10:44] [SPEAKER_02]: She might even go no contact.

[00:10:46] [SPEAKER_02]: Are you ready for that?

[00:10:48] [SPEAKER_02]: I nodded.

[00:10:49] [SPEAKER_02]: If she wants to be childish, so be it.

[00:10:51] [SPEAKER_02]: I've done nothing wrong

[00:10:52] [SPEAKER_02]: of only stood up for what I believe is fair.

[00:10:55] [SPEAKER_02]: Finally, Lucy's mum turned her.

[00:10:57] [SPEAKER_02]: And you Lucy?

[00:10:59] [SPEAKER_02]: She asked, staring at her in an intimidating way

[00:11:02] [SPEAKER_02]: that I've seen her do to Lucy before.

[00:11:05] [SPEAKER_02]: Lucy hesitated for a moment and she looked across

[00:11:07] [SPEAKER_02]: at me and then she nodded.

[00:11:09] [SPEAKER_02]: I agree with OP, she said.

[00:11:11] [SPEAKER_02]: She looked really sheepish but,

[00:11:13] [SPEAKER_02]: and I don't mean this to sound stupid

[00:11:15] [SPEAKER_02]: but I was incredibly proud in that moment.

[00:11:18] [SPEAKER_02]: I can't tell you what her mum is like,

[00:11:21] [SPEAKER_02]: but I can, but it would have to be another story sometime.

[00:11:24] [SPEAKER_02]: Let me know.

[00:11:26] [SPEAKER_02]: Lucy's mum's side shaking her head.

[00:11:28] [SPEAKER_02]: Well, that's your choice.

[00:11:30] [SPEAKER_02]: She said standing up without another word

[00:11:32] [SPEAKER_02]: she will get her by her house.

[00:11:34] [SPEAKER_02]: I'm not sure what she hoped to achieve by doing that

[00:11:36] [SPEAKER_02]: but it just made me feel even more sure of our decision.

[00:11:40] [SPEAKER_02]: It's been over two weeks since that day.

[00:11:43] [SPEAKER_02]: You haven't seen or spoken to their ball Lucy's mum.

[00:11:46] [SPEAKER_02]: I'm not sure we will if I'm honest.

[00:11:48] [SPEAKER_02]: Maybe when the yearly family barbecue started happening

[00:11:51] [SPEAKER_02]: and they're not invited,

[00:11:52] [SPEAKER_02]: but despite everything, I believe we've made the right choice.

[00:11:56] [SPEAKER_02]: No, honestly, I think the separation from my mum

[00:11:58] [SPEAKER_02]: will be good for her now.

[00:12:00] [SPEAKER_02]: Anyway, thanks for the comments

[00:12:02] [SPEAKER_02]: which confirmed my thoughts and challenging them.

[00:12:05] [SPEAKER_02]: Gave me some guidance.

[00:12:07] [SPEAKER_02]: Holy, moly, bingo, the destroyer of relationships.

[00:12:12] [SPEAKER_02]: I know a family like a torn apart by bingo winnings as well.

[00:12:15] [SPEAKER_02]: But do we have any bingo players in the chat today?

[00:12:18] [SPEAKER_02]: Let us know your thoughts down in the comments below

[00:12:21] [SPEAKER_02]: and let's move on to another story.

[00:12:34] [SPEAKER_00]: I'm not sure if I'll do that.

[00:12:38] [SPEAKER_00]: The ringer, the ringer, the ringer, the match.

[00:12:43] [SPEAKER_02]: Now, this one's from a throw away account

[00:12:51] [SPEAKER_02]: from the true off-micest subreddit.

[00:12:54] [SPEAKER_02]: It says, my husband's open marriage suggestion

[00:12:56] [SPEAKER_02]: act fired on him.

[00:12:58] [SPEAKER_02]: My husband Leo 34 male an I-30 female

[00:13:02] [SPEAKER_02]: have been together for seven years.

[00:13:04] [SPEAKER_02]: Married for for them.

[00:13:06] [SPEAKER_02]: I don't have any kids and we don't intend to.

[00:13:09] [SPEAKER_02]: Two years ago Leo asked me for an open marriage.

[00:13:12] [SPEAKER_02]: I was devastated at the time.

[00:13:14] [SPEAKER_02]: I couldn't understand why he didn't just want me.

[00:13:17] [SPEAKER_02]: I couldn't even comprehend the idea of sharing him either.

[00:13:20] [SPEAKER_02]: He gave me the same song and dance a lot of men give their spouses.

[00:13:24] [SPEAKER_02]: It's what up and down that he loved me.

[00:13:27] [SPEAKER_02]: It just wasn't fulfilling his needs.

[00:13:29] [SPEAKER_02]: You need to have more than what I could give.

[00:13:31] [SPEAKER_02]: It was just to spice up our life.

[00:13:32] [SPEAKER_02]: It was just sex, et cetera, et cetera.

[00:13:35] [SPEAKER_02]: I did ask if there was someone else.

[00:13:37] [SPEAKER_02]: He said no, but it's day I'm still not sure if I believed him.

[00:13:41] [SPEAKER_02]: But at the time, I was angry and hurt and said no.

[00:13:45] [SPEAKER_02]: He pested me to change my mind for a week before giving me an ultimatum.

[00:13:49] [SPEAKER_02]: Open marriage or divorce.

[00:13:53] [SPEAKER_02]: I chose the open marriage.

[00:13:54] [SPEAKER_02]: I just couldn't bear the thought of him leaving me at the time.

[00:13:57] [SPEAKER_02]: They have rules.

[00:13:58] [SPEAKER_02]: You can't bring any partners home.

[00:14:00] [SPEAKER_02]: We have to get tested for STD every three months.

[00:14:02] [SPEAKER_02]: When we can get out of the month, must be left free for us time.

[00:14:06] [SPEAKER_02]: Any money we spend on or with our partners must come from our personal accounts.

[00:14:11] [SPEAKER_02]: I didn't partake in the open marriage myself for the first three months.

[00:14:15] [SPEAKER_02]: Leo obviously did right away.

[00:14:17] [SPEAKER_02]: He seemed to be gone or outlade almost all the time.

[00:14:21] [SPEAKER_02]: But he always acted so happy and loving towards me, but I felt like I was dying inside.

[00:14:26] [SPEAKER_02]: It killed me to think, sleeping with other women.

[00:14:29] [SPEAKER_02]: I felt so lonely and unattractive and not good enough.

[00:14:33] [SPEAKER_02]: I told my sister KT 26 female, a few close friends everything.

[00:14:38] [SPEAKER_02]: KT told me to just play his game and be a part of the open marriage too.

[00:14:43] [SPEAKER_02]: If he can sleep around, so could I.

[00:14:45] [SPEAKER_02]: I honestly didn't have much confidence in myself at the time.

[00:14:48] [SPEAKER_02]: I'm a bit overweight and have never considered myself conventionally pretty.

[00:14:52] [SPEAKER_02]: I was afraid this would just humiliate me further.

[00:14:55] [SPEAKER_02]: KT and my best friend, Jesse 30 female, set up my online dating profile for me.

[00:15:01] [SPEAKER_02]: Not so many matches that it was overwhelming.

[00:15:04] [SPEAKER_02]: When I told Leo who was surprised but told me to do whatever I thought was best.

[00:15:09] [SPEAKER_02]: Jesse helped me choose my first date and I actually had a great time.

[00:15:13] [SPEAKER_02]: He didn't pressure me for sex and took me out the drinks and dinner.

[00:15:17] [SPEAKER_02]: We did have sex eventually, but it was all just casual and we didn't see each other after a

[00:15:21] [SPEAKER_02]: couple of months of casual dating.

[00:15:23] [SPEAKER_02]: The first guy really made me feel more confident in myself so I kept on going on days with men.

[00:15:29] [SPEAKER_02]: A lot of them wanted to treat me so they didn't have to spend much of my own money,

[00:15:33] [SPEAKER_02]: but only that but some of the men have given me the best sex I've ever had in my life.

[00:15:38] [SPEAKER_02]: Almost like the kind of sex you read in romance novels.

[00:15:41] [SPEAKER_02]: Being amazing.

[00:15:43] [SPEAKER_02]: I'm currently seeing two different men alongside Leo.

[00:15:46] [SPEAKER_02]: One, a mark, 38 male is more of a steady boyfriend I've been with for about six months and the other

[00:15:53] [SPEAKER_02]: one, Stephen 25 male is very casual.

[00:15:57] [SPEAKER_02]: Mostly just hang an out in sex.

[00:15:59] [SPEAKER_02]: They know about my open marriage, slash other relationships and a fine with it.

[00:16:03] [SPEAKER_02]: My husband has not been so lucky.

[00:16:06] [SPEAKER_02]: In the beginning he definitely was, he was always out in a bout and didn't seem to care even when

[00:16:10] [SPEAKER_02]: I started dating too.

[00:16:12] [SPEAKER_02]: But now he just complains a lot and hasn't been going out much.

[00:16:15] [SPEAKER_02]: He winds about how he's usually the one spending money, a lot of the women he tries to be with

[00:16:20] [SPEAKER_02]: want an emotional connection with four sex.

[00:16:23] [SPEAKER_02]: He often wants to be with younger women but they want younger men.

[00:16:27] [SPEAKER_02]: He's also been upset that I go out with random guys who often while he's at home alone all the

[00:16:32] [SPEAKER_02]: time.

[00:16:33] [SPEAKER_02]: He hasn't asked to close the marriage yet but I feel he will soon.

[00:16:37] [SPEAKER_02]: He keeps saying he misses Earth and wants to spend more time together.

[00:16:41] [SPEAKER_02]: He tries to initiate sex a lot more too.

[00:16:44] [SPEAKER_02]: He wants to go on dates and go on vacations and all that stuff more and more.

[00:16:49] [SPEAKER_02]: He gets upset when I tell him my calm looks are already scheduled to do some stuff with my

[00:16:52] [SPEAKER_02]: partners, mostly Mark.

[00:16:55] [SPEAKER_02]: Honestly, I don't think I love Liu anymore.

[00:16:57] [SPEAKER_02]: I care about him but I just don't love him.

[00:17:00] [SPEAKER_02]: Not saying I love Mark or Stephen but I honestly feel closer to Mark nowadays and I do Leah.

[00:17:05] [SPEAKER_02]: Mark makes me feel comfortable and safe and I love spending time with him more than my own husband.

[00:17:10] [SPEAKER_02]: Stephen is funny and sweet and really good at sex.

[00:17:13] [SPEAKER_02]: Katie and Jesse have been wanting me to divorce for a year now but I was afraid of hurting him

[00:17:18] [SPEAKER_02]: and thought I still loved him.

[00:17:20] [SPEAKER_02]: But I think my love him died with me asked for this open marriage in the first place.

[00:17:24] [SPEAKER_02]: Being him get all pissed about it now just because he's not benefiting from it

[00:17:28] [SPEAKER_02]: is also a turn off for me too.

[00:17:31] [SPEAKER_02]: But I don't know if divorce is the best option.

[00:17:33] [SPEAKER_02]: I still care about him and I still don't want to hurt him.

[00:17:36] [SPEAKER_02]: Maybe if he finally asked to close the marriage we can talk about it then.

[00:17:40] [SPEAKER_02]: In the comments Ben Ben 12 says,

[00:17:43] [SPEAKER_02]: divorce you're happier without him.

[00:17:44] [SPEAKER_02]: Who'd only want you to close the marriage because he can't get laid not that he only loves you.

[00:17:49] [SPEAKER_02]: Who'd be says we've been together for so long that the idea of him not being their

[00:17:53] [SPEAKER_02]: feels weird.

[00:17:54] [SPEAKER_02]: Which sounds stupid since I have two other partners.

[00:17:56] [SPEAKER_02]: It's not like I'll be lonely but Leah was a part of my life for so long that for him to not be there

[00:18:01] [SPEAKER_02]: just doesn't feel right.

[00:18:03] [SPEAKER_02]: But you're probably right.

[00:18:05] [SPEAKER_02]: Or some possum replies that same seven years is not so long considering your possibly live for another 50 years.

[00:18:14] [SPEAKER_02]: Eight days later, OP comes in with a rubbed in and says hi everyone.

[00:18:17] [SPEAKER_02]: I got so many comments and messages on my last post which got deleted for some reason

[00:18:21] [SPEAKER_02]: that was a bit overwhelmed especially when a lot of you kept saying the same thing.

[00:18:26] [SPEAKER_02]: The force, the voice, the voice, the voice.

[00:18:28] [SPEAKER_02]: But the thing is the thing a part of me does still love my husband.

[00:18:31] [SPEAKER_02]: Another of my last posts that I didn't think I loved many more but

[00:18:35] [SPEAKER_02]: can't just forget about the things that I do love.

[00:18:37] [SPEAKER_02]: I love when he sings in the shower, I love when he laughs so hard he snorts,

[00:18:41] [SPEAKER_02]: I love when he kisses my forehead when I've had a bad day.

[00:18:44] [SPEAKER_02]: I love when he holds my hand when we watch TV together.

[00:18:47] [SPEAKER_02]: Leah was done a lot of shitty things but he really isn't the big ass all people think.

[00:18:52] [SPEAKER_02]: Maybe that was my fault.

[00:18:53] [SPEAKER_02]: But even if I do love him, I'm not in love with him anymore.

[00:18:56] [SPEAKER_02]: I don't think I have been for a while.

[00:18:58] [SPEAKER_02]: I care about him, a part of me still does love him but you were all right.

[00:19:03] [SPEAKER_02]: I should have just divorced him when he gave me that ultimatum in the first place.

[00:19:07] [SPEAKER_02]: This past Saturday we had the big talk initiated it but you didn't seem to

[00:19:11] [SPEAKER_02]: surprise.

[00:19:13] [SPEAKER_02]: You're just told in that I noticed, you didn't seem to like me going out with Mark or Stephen.

[00:19:17] [SPEAKER_02]: And asked if there was a problem.

[00:19:18] [SPEAKER_02]: He said there was but you didn't ask me to close the marriage.

[00:19:22] [SPEAKER_02]: You just asked if I still loved him.

[00:19:24] [SPEAKER_02]: I said something like, not like I used to.

[00:19:27] [SPEAKER_02]: He broke down crime which made me cry.

[00:19:30] [SPEAKER_02]: I guess he had known for a while that I wasn't in love anymore but it hoped you could

[00:19:34] [SPEAKER_02]: with me back if you funneled all his energy into me.

[00:19:37] [SPEAKER_02]: I was honest and I told him like during those first three months of our open marriage.

[00:19:41] [SPEAKER_02]: I think my love him died and I just couldn't get it back.

[00:19:44] [SPEAKER_02]: I did tell him that I still cared about him and that I did love him but it was not the same as it was.

[00:19:49] [SPEAKER_02]: He asked if I loved Mark or Stephen and I said no.

[00:19:52] [SPEAKER_02]: I liked being with him and I care about them a lot but I can't say that I'm in love with

[00:19:56] [SPEAKER_02]: either of them.

[00:19:58] [SPEAKER_02]: I also finally asked him why he wanted to open the marriage in the first place.

[00:20:02] [SPEAKER_02]: A lot of you in the comments said that he already had someone lined up and you were right.

[00:20:06] [SPEAKER_02]: Yet someone at work he was interested in and she wanted him too.

[00:20:10] [SPEAKER_02]: Open the marriage was just to get permission.

[00:20:12] [SPEAKER_02]: Don't I'll see never expect the meter also get my impartments because of how uncomfortable I

[00:20:17] [SPEAKER_02]: was, but he didn't want me to stop either because he thought nothing would come of it.

[00:20:21] [SPEAKER_02]: He didn't really like me seeing other men but he knew he wouldn't have been fair to tell

[00:20:25] [SPEAKER_02]: me no when I gave him permission first.

[00:20:28] [SPEAKER_02]: I guess Mark and Stephen made him insecure because I was just betting so much time with them on

[00:20:32] [SPEAKER_02]: a regular basis.

[00:20:33] [SPEAKER_02]: The open marriage was just sex on the side for him.

[00:20:36] [SPEAKER_02]: He only did hookups and they never lasted long.

[00:20:39] [SPEAKER_02]: Genuinely always just loved only me but he thought I was falling in love with my partners and

[00:20:45] [SPEAKER_02]: he was losing me and wanted to win me back.

[00:20:48] [SPEAKER_02]: We cried a lot and talked a lot.

[00:20:49] [SPEAKER_02]: We decided to get a divorce.

[00:20:52] [SPEAKER_02]: It's the house in his name I'm going to move out and live with Katie for a while.

[00:20:56] [SPEAKER_02]: He told me I didn't have to and I could stand till the divorce was fine life but I just can't.

[00:21:01] [SPEAKER_02]: It's too hard to even look at him sometimes.

[00:21:03] [SPEAKER_02]: I didn't know how I feel to be honest.

[00:21:05] [SPEAKER_02]: I thought I'd be relieved or sad but I'm just tired.

[00:21:08] [SPEAKER_02]: I wish I could have been like you all wanted me to be clapping back or being sarcastic and

[00:21:12] [SPEAKER_02]: snark you rubbed it in his face and I don't feel like I've won anything.

[00:21:16] [SPEAKER_02]: Just feel lost.

[00:21:19] [SPEAKER_02]: Princess Bella says unfortunately this is what happens when opening the marriage is not mutual.

[00:21:24] [SPEAKER_02]: Due to her handling it is adults and I hope that both you find the happiness that you deserve.

[00:21:29] [SPEAKER_02]: Just not with each other.

[00:21:30] [SPEAKER_02]: There's a situation when no one wins.

[00:21:32] [SPEAKER_02]: Thanks for the update.

[00:21:34] [SPEAKER_02]: Lucky for says this isn't all tale and people keep falling for that.

[00:21:38] [SPEAKER_02]: I was like look at all these stories on Reddit.

[00:21:40] [SPEAKER_02]: They all have the same ending but people always trade 80% for 20% that they don't have.

[00:21:46] [SPEAKER_02]: From Mars says can confirm 80% I get out of my relationship is great.

[00:21:51] [SPEAKER_02]: 20% I want that I don't get, certainly hasn't effect on me and I can duck myself in the relationship.

[00:21:57] [SPEAKER_02]: That being said I wouldn't throw away the 80% the at 20% from somewhere else as it

[00:22:02] [SPEAKER_02]: be a net loss at the end of the day.

[00:22:05] [SPEAKER_02]: I hope you created another post that was titled I wish it was easy to hate my husband.

[00:22:10] [SPEAKER_02]: They came five days later.

[00:22:12] [SPEAKER_02]: He said our marriages over.

[00:22:14] [SPEAKER_02]: We both talked about reconciling but I just can't do it.

[00:22:17] [SPEAKER_02]: I can't love him like I used to.

[00:22:19] [SPEAKER_02]: I officially moved out and currently living with my sister.

[00:22:23] [SPEAKER_02]: Wish I could hate him for everything but I don't.

[00:22:26] [SPEAKER_02]: My angry and sad and frustrated and devastated but I don't hate him.

[00:22:30] [SPEAKER_02]: I think everyone wants him to be the villain but he's not clever enough for that.

[00:22:34] [SPEAKER_02]: My husband was always short-sighted.

[00:22:36] [SPEAKER_02]: He really never thought about long term of things.

[00:22:38] [SPEAKER_02]: His focus was always then and now.

[00:22:41] [SPEAKER_02]: Not whatever came later because that was for later him to worry about.

[00:22:45] [SPEAKER_02]: Now we're at the later and it's awful.

[00:22:48] [SPEAKER_02]: Wish I could blame him for everything but he didn't slowly ruin or chip away at my self-esteem.

[00:22:53] [SPEAKER_02]: He didn't break me down and make me hate myself.

[00:22:55] [SPEAKER_02]: He didn't fall on to success in my face, he didn't make me feel inferior.

[00:22:59] [SPEAKER_02]: I came to him that way.

[00:23:01] [SPEAKER_02]: He took advantage but there was never hateful.

[00:23:04] [SPEAKER_02]: Maybe I should have let him know during the open marriage how unhappy I was.

[00:23:07] [SPEAKER_02]: I tried to hide it from him.

[00:23:09] [SPEAKER_02]: Who would ask me and I still lied.

[00:23:11] [SPEAKER_02]: I'd been honest maybe we could have closed the marriage.

[00:23:14] [SPEAKER_02]: Maybe we could have just gone divorced at the beginning.

[00:23:17] [SPEAKER_02]: Maybe I should have negotiated better rules.

[00:23:20] [SPEAKER_02]: I've so many maybe's and so much blame for myself.

[00:23:23] [SPEAKER_02]: If I had been more confident back then,

[00:23:25] [SPEAKER_02]: if this open marriage never would have happened.

[00:23:28] [SPEAKER_02]: But I blame him too.

[00:23:30] [SPEAKER_02]: I hate that he let that woman come between us.

[00:23:32] [SPEAKER_02]: I hate that he even entertained her flirtations and had discussions with us.

[00:23:36] [SPEAKER_02]: Haiti thought this was a solution and that I agreed because I couldn't bear the thought of losing

[00:23:40] [SPEAKER_02]: him.

[00:23:41] [SPEAKER_02]: But I don't hate him.

[00:23:43] [SPEAKER_02]: I want to but I can't.

[00:23:45] [SPEAKER_02]: I know it'll get easier but everything is so hard now.

[00:23:48] [SPEAKER_02]: I don't know what to do and I feel like I'm crazy.

[00:23:52] [SPEAKER_02]: Hope I can feel like myself again soon.

[00:23:55] [SPEAKER_02]: And the top comment on that one said honey, he took your marriage hostage in order to get his

[00:23:59] [SPEAKER_02]: dick wet whenever he wanted.

[00:24:01] [SPEAKER_02]: I fully believe that you would sit at home as a quiet little house frow and not be unhappy

[00:24:05] [SPEAKER_02]: about what he was doing.

[00:24:07] [SPEAKER_02]: He was selfish on galactic scale.

[00:24:09] [SPEAKER_02]: And he was the one that fought for this.

[00:24:11] [SPEAKER_02]: Apparently who actually cared about coming to terms with things

[00:24:14] [SPEAKER_02]: would not have held a gun to your marriage's head and said,

[00:24:17] [SPEAKER_02]: either other women's hope might be called a marriage gets it.

[00:24:20] [SPEAKER_02]: There's no fix in that kind of selfish and there's no way a marriage can survive it.

[00:24:24] [SPEAKER_02]: He prioritised his carcum when he realized that was a bad call was already way too late.

[00:24:29] [SPEAKER_02]: Don't blame yourself at any of this because all you did was what he asked for.

[00:24:35] [SPEAKER_02]: Really I couldn't see that ending any other way but now I'm going to turn this one to you guys.

[00:24:41] [SPEAKER_02]: What do you guys make of this situation?

[00:24:44] [SPEAKER_02]: Let us know your thoughts down in the comments below.

[00:24:48] [SPEAKER_02]: I just a huge thank you for the bottom of my heart for getting involved into

[00:24:51] [SPEAKER_02]: these stories.

[00:24:52] [SPEAKER_02]: You'll love your support your time.

[00:24:53] [SPEAKER_02]: Always means you absolutely were all to me so thank you so so much and hopefully I'll see you in the next one.

[00:24:59] [SPEAKER_02]: Take care and much love.