Our Families Are Trying To Make Us Live Out Their DELUSIONAL Fantasy r/Relationships

[00:00:03] Hey Waffle Gang, I do hope you are well. My name is Mark and today we're checking out some more Reddit Stories.

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[00:00:16] And let's crack on with today's first story. Much love guys.

[00:00:20] Now, today's first story comes from CherryColaCoca1 from the Am I The Arse or Here subreddit and says,

[00:00:26] I'm I the arse or here, refusing to go to my best guy friend's wedding and telling my parents I'm going to cut them off.

[00:00:34] I grew up with my family and another family whose parents were best friends with mine since high school.

[00:00:40] My parents had me, female 28, my two older brothers, male 31 and male 35, while their friends had four boys,

[00:00:48] male 27, male 29, male 30 and male 37. Growing up was pretty nice, but the boys used to pick

[00:00:56] on me a lot and exclude me during their girls are yucky phase. I wouldn't say I see these boys as

[00:01:02] brothers, but maybe as cousins. I was close to male 27 and male 29 when we were little.

[00:01:09] I will call them Adam and Jake. Until we were 15, we were really close and did a lot together.

[00:01:16] I don't talk to Jake much anymore. No hard feelings, but he grew up to be a classic tech bro and can be

[00:01:22] pretty condescending. However, our families are obsessed with the idea of us ending up together.

[00:01:28] The other guys are already married and Adam is gay. They've always pushed for us to be together,

[00:01:34] making us go to the store alone at Christmas, telling us both an earlier time to meet at the

[00:01:39] restaurant for dad's birthday, talking him up a lot, etc. And both Jake and I met our SOs.

[00:01:46] I've been with my fiance for five years and Jake met his fiance three years ago.

[00:01:50] Our families have been very disappointed and have not welcomed our SOs warmly.

[00:01:56] One Christmas, I took Jake's fiance, Tracy aside and explained the weird family law to her with Jake,

[00:02:04] just like we did my fiance. We assured her that it was a weird thing of our family and that Jake

[00:02:09] and I have not been close for ages and have never had more than a friendly relationship. Ironically,

[00:02:15] having to stand against our parents made us all a little closer. But we come to the problem. Jake

[00:02:22] and Tracy are going to get married soon. And it has been chaos. Our parents have upped their antics by

[00:02:30] 2000%. Family dinners are full of, ah, we thought you two would get married. It brought out a picture I

[00:02:36] apparently drew of me and Jake when we were little of us getting married. I suspect they made it. It did

[00:02:41] not look like it was made by an actual child. They were cornering Tracy about making me the matron of

[00:02:47] honor and letting me wear white. What? Also his brothers and my brothers joined in,

[00:02:53] making jokes about us being star-crossed lovers and calling me the missus. I distanced myself

[00:02:59] heavily from my family during that time and stopped going home after talking to them did nothing.

[00:03:05] One day, one of my brothers invited me out. He said it was just my two brothers and me. So I went to his

[00:03:11] apartment and when I arrived, it was Jake's bachelor party. One of his brothers screamed out that the

[00:03:17] stripper was here. Fucking ew. I wanted to leave, but the next train left close to 12am. And it was not

[00:03:26] the safest neighborhood. So I stayed. They tried to make me drunk, were constantly physically pushing me and

[00:03:33] Jake together and even locked us in my brothers bedroom. I could hear loud laughing from the other

[00:03:38] side. Jake and I did not talk much. He apologized to me and asked me if I could not come to the

[00:03:44] wedding as I made Tracy uncomfortable. He completely understood and said at that point I was not planning

[00:03:50] to go anymore. He offered to drive me home as he was also completely sober. When they opened the door,

[00:03:57] he said we were going home. In their heads, that meant we were going to be intimate or something because

[00:04:02] all the caveman sounds started. The next day, my phone was blowing up. Someone uploaded a video of me and Jake

[00:04:09] leaving and captioned it, finally. It was very awkward. I am clearly uncomfortable and so is Jake as we exit

[00:04:18] the apartment and enter his car. There were comments, calls and texts. Tracy called me crying and cursing me out.

[00:04:25] Jake called me apologizing and telling me he tried to explain. My mother and his mother sent me a bunch of texts

[00:04:31] saying how proud they are and it was about time. My fiance is understanding but he wants me to make

[00:04:37] clearer boundaries with my family. I drove past their house and they were all there. They didn't

[00:04:43] even let me talk and would just love bombing me. I started screaming and told them Jake and I have

[00:04:49] never and will never be together and I will not be leaving my loving fiance. But I would not be going to

[00:04:55] Jake's wedding and if they kept up with this, I would cut every single one of them off because I am tired and

[00:05:00] just want to live my life and not that incest fairy tale. By the end of my meltdown, my mother and his

[00:05:06] mother were crying and my father just told me to get out. Since then, I have been getting messages from

[00:05:12] my brothers calling me a bitch for treating my family like that because they only wanted the best for me.

[00:05:17] So, am I the ursel here? It is, no and Uber was not an option. Taxis and Uber are ungodly expensive here.

[00:05:27] Buses, take the freaking train. Also, no we don't have a car. Tracy was away and my fiance had a night

[00:05:34] shift. What the hell is this insanity? Of course, there's no way you're going to be the arsehole here

[00:05:42] but how do you deal with this? The only way I can think is cutting these people off. They sound

[00:05:47] absolutely batshit crazy and I'm going to assume from that edit that someone was saying to OP why they

[00:05:53] didn't leave etc. Whether it was a question or they said oh why didn't you just leave. I'm more

[00:05:57] like what the fuck's this behavior that we're seeing here? And the brothers behavior saying

[00:06:02] here's the stripper trying to get her drunk and then physically pushing them together. Disgusting

[00:06:08] behavior. The whole thing is wild but that the fact that there's a whole group of people not one of

[00:06:15] them is saying hold up this is fucking weird what we're doing right here is mad. And when you finally

[00:06:22] told them to pack it in with this bullshit both the mothers start crying and the father throws you

[00:06:29] out and then people are messaging you calling you an arsehole and a bitch for this. What the hell?

[00:06:35] I can only just say I would just cut these people off. I can't see that getting any better. I mean

[00:06:40] this has been going on for however long now anyway. But Bella Rose says not the arsehole. Both families

[00:06:46] are insane and your brothers are gross for even participating in this disaster. You and Jake have

[00:06:53] made it clear that you are not interested in each other romantically and you are currently both engaged

[00:06:57] to other people. However both sets of parents and siblings incessant behavior are adding fuel to the

[00:07:03] fire and causing a divide. But are blaming you for their disregard and ignorance. I'm baffled and stunned

[00:07:09] that these adults think what they are doing is okay. They are being selfish and manipulative and need to look in

[00:07:15] the mirror and examine their immature and abhorrent behavior instead of insulting and putting blame on

[00:07:20] you. If you don't mind me asking where do you live? I'm shocked that this is even happening. You should

[00:07:26] get both families and your brothers to read this thread. They should be ashamed of themselves and

[00:07:31] embarrassed for acting like emotionally immature teenagers. Abstract Engineer says calling their own

[00:07:38] sister a stripper for Jake's pleasure is beyond gross. Marvelous thing says agreed. The brothers actions

[00:07:46] during the bachelor party were the most outrageous behavior in the whole story. It's bad enough that the

[00:07:51] parents have gotten OP's brothers in on their delusional fantasy. But what her brothers did is just beyond all

[00:07:58] sense of decency.

[00:08:00] Mean says not the arsehole. I grew up in a similar situation with a close friend of mine. It didn't really stop until she

[00:08:07] came out a couple of years back but her mother still refers to me as her son and talks about what could

[00:08:13] have been even though I'm now engaged and her daughter is again gay. It drives me crazy that

[00:08:19] parents try to force shit like this on their kids. I hope you did ask how did you deal with it? Did it

[00:08:25] get better? Did they ever tell you why they were so obsessed? Zookeeper Game says it sounds like a

[00:08:31] fantasy the two families built up over your lifetime that just got stronger over the years. I think it's

[00:08:36] time for a timeout. I'd write up an email or letter or text and mass send it to your brothers who are

[00:08:42] disgusting by the way for their behavior at the bachelor party and parents. Don't bother with the

[00:08:48] other family. They aren't yours to deal with. Let them know in detail how they've hurt and upset you

[00:08:53] over this issue and tell them that you're on a timeout from contact with any of them. That's if they

[00:08:58] offer sincere apologies you'll consider allowing them back into your life but until that time you're going

[00:09:03] to concentrate on building your life with your partner then block everyone. I think your mental

[00:09:08] health will improve immensely with that stress removed. So OP came in with her update and said

[00:09:15] update one Jake and Tracy broke up. Update two my fiance was cheating with Tracy the whole time. Update three

[00:09:22] I think I might have feelings for Jake but I can't let our families win. Update four I'm pregnant and it's

[00:09:28] Jake's. I'm kidding. Just thought this comment was particularly hilarious. First of all thank you

[00:09:37] for all your insight especially those of you who reached out in the comments and privately with

[00:09:41] similar stories. I honestly thought my family was the only demented one but apparently it's a trend.

[00:09:47] Also a lot of German parents have done that. In that vein and excuse the pronunciation here but I'm gonna give it

[00:09:53] a bit of a minute. I go you're a shizene. Yeah shit right? Or something simpler. Now for the real update.

[00:10:00] My fiance and I spoke and concluded that cutting out my family for now would be the best option.

[00:10:06] I sent a message to my parents and brothers explaining my decision to distance myself

[00:10:10] for the time being. I emphasized that while I love them I cannot continue to endure their pressure and

[00:10:17] manipulation. I told them their behavior had made me resent them and to some extent Jake. It ruined any

[00:10:23] friendly relationship we could have had and made me feel gross and exploited. I told them they were

[00:10:28] setting me up to be sexually assaulted if it had been anyone else but Jake. I also told them that their

[00:10:34] controlling behavior was the reason I never told them about anything in my life. I told them it hurts to

[00:10:39] be with them and I'm in a bad mood for days after meeting them. I never look forward to holidays with

[00:10:45] them and have caught myself wishing I would get into an accident or get sick before the holidays to have

[00:10:50] an excuse not to go. They cut themselves out of my life and they will not be there when I get married,

[00:10:57] have kids or in any other life achievements. After sending the message I left the group,

[00:11:02] blocked them all and felt really light. I cried with my fiance for hours and I didn't really know if it

[00:11:09] was tears of sadness, relief or happiness. I was so conflicted I just kind of fell asleep.

[00:11:15] Jake also cut his part of the family off. According to Tracy he just went to their home,

[00:11:21] dumped a sack of their stuff on the table, told them to stay the fuck away from him and left.

[00:11:26] His mother tried reaching out to me and my father tried reaching out to Jake.

[00:11:30] Our fiance's been targeted by them too. My parents sent the police to my house claiming my fiance had me

[00:11:36] against their will. We talked to the police, they couldn't do much but assured me that they would

[00:11:42] leave a note in their database, clarifying that I am not being abused. They also asked how to go about

[00:11:48] the no contact order and they pointed me to resources. They also said they would tell my parents to leave

[00:11:54] me alone and noted that should they make false reports, they would have to cover the cost of

[00:11:59] the drive out to me. As of Friday we have different numbers. Tracy is coming over this afternoon and

[00:12:05] I'm taking her to my nail salon and afterwards we're going to a game store because she really

[00:12:10] wants to play some escape games. Jake and I are still not close and he is also not close to my

[00:12:16] fiance. But he is happy that we have carved out a healthy space and that Tracy is so comfortable

[00:12:21] with me now in such a short span of time. They are reevaluating their wedding plans but I won't disclose

[00:12:27] more here. Also to the people that made fun of me for saying that I couldn't drive by anywhere without a

[00:12:33] car. I have a bike. Anyway, that was it. It was only a week and I don't see this going much further.

[00:12:39] My parents are going to keep contacting me probably but it's going to be alright. We, we are all alright.

[00:12:47] Edit thank you for so many well wishes. It has been really nice to read all these comments.

[00:12:52] Just one thing, don't give me legal advice. Remember that we are most likely in a different country and

[00:12:57] our laws and procedures probably don't apply to the ones you know. For example, the camera thing to

[00:13:03] have as evidence is a nice sentiment but in Germany it's difficult. We have super strict data protection

[00:13:09] laws that make things like a ring camera unviable or a restraining order. The process here is not only

[00:13:15] to go ask and get it but you can be well assured that I am looking into all viable options and getting

[00:13:21] some legal advice from lawyers in my area. And just a couple of the top comments from that one,

[00:13:26] absolute wreck says I love your sense of humour. Definitely got my laugh in the first paragraph.

[00:13:32] As for your family's good on you and Jake for cutting everyone off. I doubt that false report of you

[00:13:38] being abused is the end of it though. Please be safe, you're doing the right thing by seeking a

[00:13:43] no contact order. Make sure you have security at your wedding and maybe suggest that Jake and Tracy do the same.

[00:13:49] 3. IVB IVB says update 5, Tracy and I are now engaged.

[00:13:55] Verse says update 6, Tracy and I are both pregnant with triplets. Twins are so last year.

[00:14:02] Another commenter says update 7 to clarify we're sharing triplets. Each has one kid and

[00:14:08] half of another which will merge into a full kid once we give birth. Verse replies saying doctors and

[00:14:14] nurses watched in awe as each half shot into the air, did a triple somersault and then joined together

[00:14:20] in one smooth motion before landing in a nurse's arms. Both mothers are resting comfortably.

[00:14:26] Nice rats says update 8, my fiance turned into a litre of beer and Jake drank him. It's getting

[00:14:31] ridiculous now isn't it? Conscious survey says I'm glad Tracy come around and realised that it was the

[00:14:37] families doing this and not you and Jake. This is exactly what you needed and you'll be a lot happier for

[00:14:43] it. Especially in the long run. You're taking care of your and your chosen family and that's all you need

[00:14:49] to do. Enjoy your freedom. And like the comments say I hope that is the end of that for OP. Personally

[00:14:57] I can't see it with the unhinged behaviour that we've seen already. It's it always feels like that they

[00:15:04] would try something else. The fact that after they had this message from OP they didn't step back,

[00:15:10] they didn't re-evaluate their behaviour, they didn't think, fuck me, what have we done? We've sort of

[00:15:14] alienated our daughter against us. They send the police round their house claiming that the fiance

[00:15:20] had her against her will. Like in if some way that was ever successful and the police took her away

[00:15:26] back to her parents, that OP is then going to go, okay fair enough, I'll stay here now for you bat

[00:15:32] shit crazy people. But all I can say is I wish you and Jake all the best going forward. I wish you peace

[00:15:40] and happiness in your lives and I hope they bloody do leave you alone. Ugh deary me. But now I'm going to

[00:15:47] turn this one to you guys. What do you guys make of this situation? Let us know your thoughts down

[00:15:54] in the comments below and let's move on to another story. Now our next story comes from Round Arena from

[00:16:04] SysAdmin. So it's an IT based story, especially with what just went on recently. I'm sure everyone's

[00:16:10] seen it. It starts off with a brief story, some comments, another update, just what was going on

[00:16:15] during that time. The title of it is I should feel bad, but I don't. It's making me chuckle already.

[00:16:24] My company laid off the whole IT team, including me about a month ago and outsourced it overseas.

[00:16:31] Former co-worker just sent me a picture of the HR lady carrying the monitor from her computer to the

[00:16:36] server room while on the phone with support to try and resolve crowd strike outage. It's going to be

[00:16:42] rough for companies with only remote support. Josh says to that I was laid off at my last job.

[00:16:49] My last project? Install crowd strike on all machines in my region. My new workplace just

[00:16:55] finished the decom of crowd strike last week. Haki Sack says congratulations. They played themselves.

[00:17:02] John Beeman says you're getting blamed for this. I mean already, like now in a meeting.

[00:17:08] Dark Murphy says universal work solution. It's always the people who left recently.

[00:17:14] So over the next five hours, OP gives some updates on what was going on or what they heard

[00:17:21] was happening. So OP heard that from another former IT co-worker reached out to the company and offered

[00:17:27] to come back and help. They told him, thanks, but we're sure this will be resolved before we can

[00:17:33] even get you through orientation. I think orientation is three days or something if I remember right.

[00:17:39] Update two, the group chat is blowing up. CIO just came in and she is flipping out on everyone.

[00:17:47] She just told my buddy to get Dell on the phone right now. LOL. HR lady is crying apparently.

[00:17:54] Also, they can't find anybody with key card access to the second server room and can't create any new key

[00:18:00] cards. Update three, it seems that the CIO just learned that this is a global outage and my buddy

[00:18:07] said she looks super relieved. All upper leadership went into a closed door meeting. My buddy is still

[00:18:13] on hold with Dell. He works in finance. Everyone else is just sitting around. HR lady went home.

[00:18:20] Mini update, hourly staff sent home but salary staff have to stay. Food is being delivered for the senior

[00:18:25] leadership meeting but nobody else. My buddy is still on hold with Dell. Resol... I don't know why

[00:18:33] I find that so funny. Resolution update. The CEO's nephew came in because he's good with computers. Oh dear me.

[00:18:42] He's going around getting everyone's workstations back up. My buddy says it looks like he's following

[00:18:47] instructions he found on Reddit. Now, I'm going to quote the exact description he sent me.

[00:18:52] Dude, this guy looks like if Timothee Chalamet went to the gym six days a week but he's wearing a shirt

[00:18:58] with an anime girl that says demon slayer. What the hell? Also, the girls in accounting won't stop

[00:19:03] talking about how good he smells. So dude, if you're on here, the girls in accounting appreciate

[00:19:08] your help. A couple other tidbits. Building maintenance had to come open a server room door.

[00:19:14] The CEO screamed at the phone support guys to give his nephew whatever he needed. I'm assuming

[00:19:19] credentials. The CIO was heard through the wall defending themselves by saying, I'm not technical.

[00:19:25] I was brought for my leadership abilities. Domino's was delivered for all the staff that had to stay.

[00:19:32] Dell never picked up. Scuba Fork says to this one, getting rid of your IT team is like saving money

[00:19:40] by not purchasing smoke alarms and fire extinguishers until after you need them.

[00:19:45] The Calligrapher says, My favorite analogy for it is firing the airline pilot while the plane is still

[00:19:51] in the air. Passengers think it's fine because they're still flying even without a pilot.

[00:19:56] Some cat says, I prefer the analogy of interrupting a medical operation. Fire several years of experienced

[00:20:02] doctors and hire another single just graduate one to continue with the operation.

[00:20:07] Obvious Water says, I was laid off about a year ago by a company that has 10,000 plus hosts running

[00:20:13] CrowdStrike. I feel bad for the infrastructure team that's still there. But as for the company itself,

[00:20:19] fuck em.

[00:20:21] Gomex says, It's funny all companies treat IT like a cost center and

[00:20:26] bitch about our budgets. But hell, turn off or reboot the wrong box, you get yelled at.

[00:20:31] Without this server we are losing lots of money. Well, which is it? Do we generate money?

[00:20:36] Or suck it? That day was crazy, man. I was in town and I was waiting for some shops to open because

[00:20:42] I managed to get there like really early. I just had some food and I was told that the

[00:20:47] card machine wasn't working or something so I had to pay in cash. And then I was just stood outside

[00:20:52] because I got the bus into town for, I didn't feel like driving. And I was just listening to people

[00:20:57] in the queue to the bus coming up with like all different kinds of like conspiracy theories about what

[00:21:03] was going on. And the bus stop was outside a shop called Greg's. If you're unfamiliar with it,

[00:21:09] it's basically like a big chain bakery, if you like, which sells sausage rolls. And a guy came

[00:21:14] out and he was absolutely pissed off because they couldn't accept this card. And I mean pissed off

[00:21:20] that he couldn't have a sausage roll. And you know when you're like trying to stop yourself laughing,

[00:21:24] but you can feel the corner of your mouth move. That was me in that moment. But anyway,

[00:21:28] now I'm going to turn this one to you guys. What do you guys make of this situation? Let us know your

[00:21:35] thoughts down in the comments below. Now, just a huge thank you from the bottom of my heart for

[00:21:40] getting involved in today's stories. Your love, your support, your time always means the absolute world

[00:21:45] to me. So thank you so, so much for being involved and hopefully I'll see you in the next one. Take care

[00:21:51] and much love.