On A Date I Spotted "My Wife" On His Cars Bluetooth, He Swears That's Not What I Saw r/Relationships

[00:00:01] Hey Waffle Gang, I do hope you are well. My name is Mark and today we're checking out some more Reddit Stories. And if you do love a Reddit Story, why not consider hitting that like, subscribe, maybe that notification bell too. And let's crack on with today's first story. Much love guys. Now today's first story comes from DifferentThroat225 from the Am I Overreacting subreddit. And it says, Am I overreacting? I went on a date and saw the words, My Wife Calling On His Car Bluetooth.

[00:00:32] I-28 Female Went On A Date With A Guy, 30 Male. We met up, ate breakfast and hit the road because it's a long drive. Everything was going good. We were listening to music and just vibing and then he gets a phone call. He was driving so his phone was connected to the Bluetooth and I can see who was calling. The caller ID said, My Wife.

[00:00:54] And my stomach dropped. We've been dating and talking for seven months and nothing he did gave any signs of him being married. He didn't pick up and let it go to voicemail. My mood instantly shifts and he asks what's wrong. I told him I saw who called and that he needed to call them back right now. He was going on about how it was his brother and I said that's BS because I saw it clear as day that it said, My Wife.

[00:01:20] He goes on his phone and shows me his recent calls and it says, Big Bro, at the time the call came through. The thing is that when the call came through initially and he let it go to voicemail, I was staring at it in disbelief. And then I looked away because I couldn't believe what I was seeing. It's possible that he changed the contact name really quick. I told him again to call the number and he doesn't show me but he does call someone and I can hear a male voice on the line and we start arguing.

[00:01:48] He insists he doesn't know how that happened, etc. We get to the spot and I try to put it past me but I can't let it go. If he refused to show me his phone at all, I would have Ubered home. We end up leaving earlier than planned and he keeps trying to explain himself but I can't forget the image of my wife calling. I told him I needed some space to think about what happened. Am I overreacting or is this a messed up prank?

[00:02:16] I mean my first thought on that is how is that a prank in any way? He didn't immediately turn around and say gotcha or anything like that. He seemed to just let it drag on. But I also found it really weird that he let the call ring out. He didn't panic and try to shut it down, you know, hit a button on a steering wheel to stop the call or anything.

[00:02:34] He just let it ring out like almost he wanted OP to see it. I just did a quick Google saying can these like sort of Bluetooth displays in cars show the wrong name and the top one is from Reddit itself saying display keeps showing my wrong name whenever I get a call. So I guess there's a possibility there but I don't know. Envy Kaz says why and how would it be a prank?

[00:02:56] Have you been to his house? Out with his friends? Some people do put sarcastical nicknames for certain people in their contacts but him switching up the contact name would have most likely taken some effort that you would have noticed if you were still sitting next to him. You were right to take some time to yourself. Trust your gut.

[00:03:14] Okay Yam says I will add to this. As a married man I've never saved my wife's contact as my wife. My married friends don't either. It's either her name or a pet name. I'm not saying it's not possible. Just very odd. Blonde Humanoid says could it be that he missed a call from Big Bro just before he picked you up and he erased that call from the log. So OP comes in with her update and says after my post I listened to my gut and took a step back.

[00:03:42] I told my ex that I couldn't look at him the same after that trip and needed space. He kept reaching out with long messages declaring his love but never actually explained how my wife happened. I took Reddit's advice and did some digging. He's not on social media but I found him on true people search. Turns out he really isn't married which I already suspected. I've dated enough to know when someone's hiding something big and this didn't feel like that.

[00:04:10] So I called and asked for the truth. He put Big Bro on the phone who tried to claim the car had somehow saved his contacts and that's why I saw my wife calling. Total bullshit. When I called it out Big Bro left the call and I got into another argument with my ex. I told him I was done and thought that was it. Wrong.

[00:04:32] He kept sending long messages asking to see me and would keep calling which I ignored until he finally said he'd tell me the truth. At that point that's all I wanted because I knew what I saw and felt like I was being gaslit. So I called. Y'all it was a test. There's no wife, no girlfriend, no significant other. He admitted to making it up because I'd already been pulling away before all this and he wanted to see if I really cared.

[00:05:00] He was crying saying he didn't mean for it to go this far. Honestly at this point I felt relieved. I had started to doubt myself and I was right to trust my instincts but that didn't change anything. I ended things again. And of course he went right back to the long-winded messages so I blocked him. It's over. I'm done. Moral of the story? Always trust your gut. To answer some questions. No. I've never been to his house because I only do that if I see something going somewhere.

[00:05:29] Make of that what you will. This isn't the first time he's tested me so I already had doubts. Yes, I've met big brother before but we weren't close. Turns out he was on it the whole time. No, this isn't fake. Someone says so his end goal was what? If you stayed even though he had a wife. You were the one. What the fuck? Opie says I honestly don't know. Like who would stay in that situation? Lol.

[00:05:57] Maybe he had a girlfriend and got caught. Maybe he was priming me for cheating. Or maybe he just wanted to get rid of me. No clue. He said it was to see if I cared. As if my reaction would somehow prove my feelings for him. It doesn't make any sense. But it's given manipulative and toxic. And I'm over it. Another commenter says it's called test and apologize. I just learned about this myself at 46. Stupid games men play. I recently had to block a guy for testing me.

[00:06:27] I personally haven't heard of that before myself. But I did do a quick google about it and found this information. Test and apologize is a manipulation tactic where someone. 1. Test your boundaries by doing something inappropriate or suspicious. 2. When confronted they deny it and act innocent. 3. They apologize for your feelings. I'm sorry you feel that way. Rather than for their actions. 4. They might make you question your own perception or memory. It continues saying the pattern works.

[00:06:55] Because the apology makes the person seem reasonable. While they never actually admit wrongdoing or change their behavior. It's essentially a way to continue boundary crossing. While maintaining plausible deniability. We've seen time and time again in these stories that these tests never work. They always cause drama. And they always blow shit up completely. The end goal of this test is wild. That he's expecting OP to see my wife and act in what kind of way. But then him to turn around and say. Aha.

[00:07:24] I just wanted to see if you really cared. And she's going to turn around and say. Well. It just proves that you're a bloody liar then instead. I mean. What the hell. What a bloody Burke. And yeah. You're absolutely best off out of it. This guy's 30 years old as well. Holy moly. What do you guys make of this situation? Let us know your thoughts down in the comments below. Let's move on to another story. Now our next story comes from the Relationship Advice subreddit. And before we do get into it.

[00:07:54] There is a couple of trigger warnings on the story. Of sexual harassment. And possible grooming as well. So if you do want to skip the story. Please feel free to do so. Time stamps are always down in the description. And along with the timeline below. Thank you. And it's from Yaklsey2409. And it says. My female 19. Boyfriend's male 26. Brother 32. Is getting creepy. My boyfriend won't stop him. And that's an update that came two years later as well.

[00:08:21] So me and my boyfriend have been dating for about four months now. We were long distance for a month before we started dating. We started dating after I moved to his state. His family knew about me before we started dating. He would occasionally hype me up to his family. And show them pictures of me. With my consent. I finally got introduced to his family. At a family barbecue. They're a bunch of fun people. They drink a lot. But they're fun. However his brother got a bit too wasted at the barbecue. Me.

[00:08:51] My boyfriend and him. Are sitting and drinking on the porch. While everyone else is in the yard. Playing and dancing. He out of nowhere asks. Hey. Did you ever send him a tit pic? You should have. My boyfriend just kind of brushes him off. Being like. Ah come on. Leave her alone. But I'm really uncomfortable. That he asked that around the rest of his family. I nervously laugh and ask him. What? Why would you ask me that? Apparently my boyfriend had said something along the lines of. She's got a hot body. To his family.

[00:09:21] While talking about me. I didn't want to be around either of them at that moment. So I got up and went to join his family in the yard. Hyping up my job. Personality or stuff like that is fine. But it feels a bit weird to hype up my hot body to his family. After I went to the yard. That was the end of that convo. Later that night. I tried to bring up to my boyfriend that I was uncomfortable with his brother. And also him. About how he's been talking about me to his family. He says he's too tired and to chill out.

[00:09:49] You're taking it a bit too serious. I don't bring it up again. Fast forward to the next time we're all together again. And his brother is acting weird once more. My boyfriend and his dad are doing karaoke. While his mom and sister are getting the food ready. I'm sitting on the couch holding my boyfriend's little nephew on my lap. His brother stops singing and plops down next to me. I'm a bit surprised and a little scared by the way he sat down. I try to ignore him. But I suddenly feel a hand rubbing my waist.

[00:10:18] I whip my head to see that it's his hand. I'm stuck frozen for some reason. And ask him what he's doing. He says he was. Just looking for my phone. Take it easy. I scoot away from him on the couch. And avoid him for the rest of the night. Later on. I try to tell my boyfriend what happened. He says that it was probably an accident. He's not that type of guy. That he's just been acting a bit weird since he lost his job. And to not pay him too much attention. At this point. I'm confused on what I'm supposed to do.

[00:10:48] I want to hang out with my boyfriend's family. But I don't like the way his brother behaves. I can't tell if I'm overreacting like my boyfriend is saying. Or if his brother is making a move. I live this summer with Und Julia. The ultimate musical party in Hamburg. I got the items. Spare nur für kurze Zeit 30%. Summer tickets unter musicals.de

[00:11:17] Look. You're absolutely not overreacting here. You're seeing what's happening around you. That this brother has already escalated. From being absolutely inappropriate. By talking about shit. Sexual harassment. To now touching you as well. He wasn't looking for his phone. Let's face it. He's escalating his behavior. And your boyfriend not protecting you. From his inappropriate brother as well. Minimizing what you're saying. He's not that type of guy. Chill out. Is an accident. Bullshit.

[00:11:46] Simply do not be around that guy. I've been questioning if you actually want to be with your boyfriend. Who's going to do this kind of shit as well. But girl in a red costume says. I just read a post yesterday about a girl. Who was assaulted by her boyfriend's buddy. After she repeatedly told him his friend was a creep. And inappropriate towards her. For your boyfriend. This situation is no big deal. For you. It's a matter of safety. Also your boyfriend's behavior is concerning. No dude that cares about their SO. Will objectify them the way your boyfriend is doing to you.

[00:12:15] There's also the age gap issue. It's pretty common in those relationships. For the dude to say. You are overreacting. And make you feel insecure of your own opinion. So he can have his way. This dude and his brother are bad news. Opie says. I've heard about problems with age gap relationships. I just thought he might have been different. The more I read the comments. The more I feel. He's not as different as I thought. Girl in a red costume replies saying. A good boyfriend would listen to your concerns. Validate your feelings. And call out his brother's behavior.

[00:12:47] Don't go near his brother again. He's already escalating his verbal abuse to touching. The odds are it's going to get worse. Magic Carpet says. I take it your boyfriend has said some disturbing things about you to his brother. That made him think his comment would be okay with your boyfriend. And judging by your boyfriend's lack of reaction. He was fine with it. Can't imagine I would ever be okay with my siblings speaking to or about my partner in such a way. And my response would not be as kind as your boyfriend's. Opie says.

[00:13:16] That's really the only reason I can think of that would warrant him making comments like that. So Opie's first mini update came in the same post. And said. I took some time to really take the comments to heart. And try to understand what everyone has been saying. I think I really underestimated dating an older guy. This whole thing has been draining. And I feel gross about them. I don't think I can deal with him and his brother. And I realize now after really hearing you guys out. That it's probably best to just break up with him. Anyway. Opie came in.

[00:13:46] Two years after that update. With a new one. And said. Here's the link to the original post. And shares the link. And says. I'm not sure if anyone cares since it's been a year. But I just wanted to write an update. So I'm now 20. I told my aunt about how my boyfriend and his brother were behaving. And boy did she go mama bear mode. But rightfully so. She ended up getting me to join some women's support groups. My now ex-boyfriend did go ballistic when I broke up with him. He showed up on campus and yelled at me.

[00:14:15] Saying I was an ungrateful bitch. All I was good for was being an easy piece of ass. He did get removed from campus grounds for starting a scene. But it was just embarrassing. People heard and saw it. And I didn't know how to react until someone stepped in. I haven't dated since the last situation with my creepy boyfriend. Maybe I'm just a bit paranoid of it happening again. I've learned a lot about healthy relationships from the support groups. But I just worry that I'll find myself on the bad end of another relationship.

[00:14:44] Recently a classmate of mine asked me out. And he's a really nice guy. Also this time. No huge age gap. We study together and occasionally hang out. But he's been pretty helpful whenever I don't understand something. I did reject going out with him. I told him I wasn't ready to start dating again yet. And he respected that. And hasn't made any moves on me or anything. But I also thought my last boyfriend was nice. And he turned out to be a low key predator. I don't want to be paranoid and fearful of dating.

[00:15:13] But I also don't want to accidentally put myself in another situation. How do I handle this? CragHack says to the OP. If possible get therapy to help you deal with the trauma. Unfortunately no one can ever guarantee you a non-toxic relationship. But the fact that the guy asking you out respected your no is a great sign that he might be a good guy. That don't mean you should start to date him. But if you ask him for a date as friends and talk about why. It could help you with your hesitation.

[00:15:42] But most important don't rush the date. You're 20. You have a lot of time to date later. AP says thank you. I do think I want to give a try with him. I try to work up the courage to let him know the reason of why I'm a bit hesitant. And I think CragHack is pretty much spot on there. You know if therapy will help you. Absolutely go with that. It's clearly still affecting you. Which I totally understand why it would. And therapy might guide you through that. And I don't see anything wrong with telling the guy why you are hesitant as well.

[00:16:10] And because if someone was to tell me that. That they went through that. I'd be like yeah you take your time you know. Let's just chill out as friends. Hang out. And you know when you're ready maybe move on then. But I'd like to think most people would be empathetic towards that sort of situation. But what do you guys make of this situation? Let us know your thoughts down in the comments below. Let's have another story. Now our next story comes from the Am I the Arsehole. So I read it from PlainPresence9361.

[00:16:38] And it asks Am I the Arsehole for asking a guest to not crochet at my bachelorette party. I'm 28 female. Getting married this year. Yay. I went on my bachelorette party trip last weekend. The trip was to a cabbing type setting where we all stayed in the same house. I have three bridesmaids but also invited some friends to come along. Part of the group is my brother's girlfriend. 36 female. Brother is 38 male.

[00:17:06] Of five months who isn't in the wedding party. She wasn't initially invited because I don't know her well and they live in another state. But my brother asked me to invite her as a favor to him. He said that she's never been invited to a bachelorette and likely would never be. I have no idea why. This is just what he told me. And hoped she could have this experience. Since people would be paying their own way and the group wasn't large. I figured why not. She seemed nice enough.

[00:17:34] The problem is that during the weekend she would insist on crocheting all the time. Even during our events and games. When I asked her to participate with us. She said that she took the time off for the trip. And wanted to make the most of her vacation. By catching up on her crochet projects. And that playing games and hanging out with my friends wasn't fun. And she didn't want to waste her days off. All her words. Not mine. To be clear. I don't care that she wants to crochet in general.

[00:18:02] Most of our activities ended after dinner anyways. And we just hang out in the living room. I just asked her to save the crocheting for at night. After the activities. My issue is that she was taking her crocheting with us to places like wine tasting. Brunch. A museum tour. Etc. It was super disrespectful in my eyes. Because she'd insist on coming. Yet wouldn't participate in the activity. Honestly. I was bothered that she was crocheting when we were playing bridal games. But at least that was in our living room. The trip's over now.

[00:18:31] But apparently she was super peeved. That I asked to limit her crocheting time. And my brother's been pestering me to apologize. To her for ruining her trip. I personally don't feel like I should. Because she shouldn't have come to a bachelorette party. If she didn't want to do bacheloretty things. But I also love my brother very much. And I don't want this to come between us. I'm starting to doubt myself. Because his girlfriend sounds really annoyed with me. Please help. Edit. I wanted to add some details in case it helps.

[00:19:00] Because I think some people think I'm being a bridezilla. One. She was crocheting a throw blanket about the width of my entire arm span. That's what she was carrying with her to dinner, museums, wineries, etc. It wasn't some small thing the size of my palm. She had the materials for the blanket with her. About five balls of yarn. I'm not sure what you'd call it. But each ball was about the size of a cantaloupe. Two. We gave her the option to stay home. I told her I wouldn't be offended if this trip wasn't her style.

[00:19:28] And she wanted to spend it crocheting. But she insisted on coming out with us to every single event. Three. Even though my brother asked me to bring her. She admitted to me that she wanted to come. And that she had asked my brother to ask me. Four. She doesn't have social anxiety. She just thought our activities were boring and a waste of her time. I mentioned that in another comment. But I overheard her calling my party a basic bitch bachelorette. But I didn't want to confront her because I didn't want to cause drama.

[00:19:59] Five. My biggest issue isn't that she wasn't giving me attention. Please. I'm a grown adult. And already thankful for the friends giving me love and joy during the weekend. I just thought it was super rude to crochet such a big project during group activities. She literally brought her blanket to a museum and crocheted during a private tour. Great says. My wife is a knitter. And she always brings her stuff in case there's a moment that it makes sense to do something like that. She will knit at virtually any family event where there's some time to be sitting around.

[00:20:29] She's still engaged in conversation. Will even put everything down if the conversation warrants it. And if there's no conversation at all. Sometimes people really like talking to her about her knitting project. All that being said. And considering my wife is the epitome of an introvert. I don't think she would ever insist on focusing or prioritizing a project like your bro's girlfriend. She'd put it down for any organized event and would be fully involved to what was happening. It's one thing to love your hobby.

[00:20:56] And it's another to insist on it when totally inappropriate. And I think this would count as an inappropriate time for your bro's girlfriend. Not the arsehole at all. I'm sorry you're dealing with this. You've asked because it isn't straightforward situation of intentions or feelings of offense. But I think OP stick with your feelings. Be gracious and kind in your conversations. But OP is not the arsehole at all. There's got to be a good way to sort this. Sorry I'm not equipped to provide specific suggestions. But OP you're in the right.

[00:21:26] And I hope you get some good tips. Because it really seems like you just want to be good to people. So commendable. OP replies saying I really appreciate your sharing this perspective. It sucks that a lot of comments think that my issue is with her participating in her hobby. I think it's cool that she loves to crochet. I just didn't think the time and place that she chose to do was cool. I didn't mind that she wanted to work on a project at the cabin when we were just chilling around the couch. I just thought it was rude that she did so outside during activities.

[00:21:53] Our museum tour guide even pulled me aside after the tour and privately apologized thinking that she was the problem slash wasn't a good tour guide because my brother's girlfriend was crocheting in the middle of her tour. That being said I think I'm just going to let this go and won't engage with anybody about it anymore. I didn't ask this question to feel any validation to do something about it. If that makes sense. I just felt bad about the situation. And then felt worse when I found out that my brother's girlfriend was annoyed at me for feeling bad.

[00:22:21] They haven't been dating long so if they don't last then I chalk it up to a funny story. And if they make it long term I'd just be mindful of her habits when organizing activities and trips with the family. Thanks again for your input. And there were some other comments on this one as well. Some people mentioned OCD or some people mentioned ADHD. Some people saying it was rude of her to do so. There's no excuse for it. Other people saying you know crochet is going to crochet wherever they are. But now I'm going to turn this one to you guys.

[00:22:51] I know we've got a lot of crocheters in this little community as well. So I'd love to hear your thoughts down below. But just a huge thank you from the bottom of my heart for getting involved in today's stories. Your love, your support, your time. It always means the absolute world to me. So thank you so so much for being involved. Truly you are absolutely amazing. And hopefully I'll see you in the next one. Take care. And much love.