Neighbors Keep Climbing Into Our Backyard To Use OUR EQUIPMENT

[00:00:02] [SPEAKER_00] Hey Waffle Gang, I do hope you are well. My name is Mark B and today we're checking out some more Reddit Stories. And if you do love a Reddit Story, why not consider hitting that like, subscribe, maybe that notification bell too. And let's crack on with today's first story. Much love guys. Now today's first story comes from MyPJams who says,

[00:00:23] [SPEAKER_00] Would I be the arsehole for embarrassing the neighbors for trespassing in our backyard? Our family moved into a home about two years ago. We moved in and our adjacent neighbor has been a nightmare. They are a 40 something couple who have a five year old son with developmental disabilities. When we first moved in, we wanted a privacy fence for our dogs. Our Realtor, our seller's Realtor and our seller said it wouldn't be an issue. The neighborhood fought the HOA about it for three months and

[00:00:53] [SPEAKER_00] Due to the situation and needing a fence, we made huge concessions and installed a four foot fence. It started with them calling the cops one morning when my husband got home from work on Sunday morning, sat on our backyard deck after a night shift and drank beer and hung out with our daughter. They said he was endangering our daughter. Thankfully, the cop understood wanting a beer after a night shift and just popped in and popped out. We had a little Fisher Price Playhouse last summer for her to play in.

[00:01:22] [SPEAKER_00] And they reported it to the HOA. We hung a baby swing off a tree branch. Same thing. Call from the HOA. The mom particularly will park her minivan in front of our driveway so husband can't pull in or out of the garage. And wigs out when my husband comes and knocks at the door at 3.30am to move it. Suffice to say, we have learned our lesson and when we decided to install a playset, we jumped through the hoops.

[00:01:47] [SPEAKER_00] Last month, we had a landscaper install it. It's essentially a playground in our backyard. We both work essential jobs and no one is home during the day. My husband switched to nights and has watched the past two weeks her or her husband have been letting themselves into our backyard to let their son play for an hour or two twice a day. First through the gates, which we then locked. Now they jump the fence and bring a stepladder to get back over.

[00:02:13] [SPEAKER_00] They always wait for me to leave for work. I'm not sure they see my husband pull in at 6ish AM. We bought a security camera that records. Am I the asshole if my plan is to record them playing in my backyard and putting it on the neighborhood next door and Facebook page? She's active in both and complains about us, including a post about our playground landscaping being insensitive. My other option is to call the cops, but I don't want to frighten their son. User says to OP, not the asshole, but keep it to proper channels.

[00:02:43] [SPEAKER_00] Call the cops for trespassing. Contact the HOA. Every time you notice them parked blocking your driveway, call and have it towed immediately. All your neighbors seem to know about them anyway. Word will get out. And how is calling the cops scary for the son? They already called the cops on you for legal activity on your own property. Also, are scrubs slash trees legal in lieu of fence for privacy? Perhaps with thorns.

[00:03:10] [SPEAKER_00] Can you add a privacy screen or trellis to your porch slash deck? Good luck. OP says their son is fairly developmentally disabled. Just from how his mom in particular behaves. Last time she called the cops on us for using our backyard to have a beer and mimosa on a Sunday. Honestly, she is that person that wigged out at us. Called the police on 911. The police came, saw we were sitting on our porch, apologized to us, and she went ballistic at the cop for not arresting us.

[00:03:38] [SPEAKER_00] And it started a chain event that the little boy just lost his mind on the police officer. Thankfully, he is very visibly a disabled child. I think we will contact the police to ask them to witness it and quietly address it this time. And let the officer know if it happens again, we will press charges. If we want to plant anything, we have to have HOA approval. And the neighbor folks are just not amendable. And the HOA isn't going to open a can of worms where they don't follow their own bylaws.

[00:04:05] [SPEAKER_00] Trees, fence, and landscaping to keep views of the area is very important. It specifically calls out plants over 18 inches high. Honestly, had our neighbors not been giant turds about everything and pretty much treat us like we're single-handedly ruining their neighborhood? Or even asked us while our daughter was away with her grandparents, while my husband and I were working 75 to 80 hours a week to use it? I think I would have said, yeah, not a big deal.

[00:04:31] [SPEAKER_00] Now I'm mad this lady posts about our bad behavior every week on social media and talks shit about us and now actually does something that's actually illegal and I can't shout it from the rooftops that she's a hypocrite. Commodore says to OP, not the arsehole, but be the bigger person and go to your HOA first and let them know the next step is to call the cops. You don't want them threatening to sue you if you put the video on social media. I understand they would probably lose if they did sue,

[00:04:59] [SPEAKER_00] but you lose too if you had to hire legal counsel. Good luck with these arseholes. Edit. First of all, OP, please let us know what happens. I see in the comments to my post, there are some stating you have every right to post a trespassing video on social media. Since no of us know where you're located, I don't think it is good advice. Know what your rights are as well as the trespassers' rights before you follow that type of advice. As one poster suggested, have their car towed next time it is blocking your driveway.

[00:05:29] [SPEAKER_00] CR replies saying, I agree. Take this to the HOA and tell them they need to approve your six-foot fence now. That would also go to the cops. You need to have the neighbors given an official trespassing notice. OP says, how the HOA bylaws work adjacent properties have to agree with a fence. They were the only neighbors that refused to and we had to compromise and install the only fence that is auto-approved. But I plan on parking my car a block away this afternoon and calling the police that we have trespasses.

[00:05:59] [SPEAKER_00] OP came in with their first update, which was the same day, and said I spoke to two attorneys. Specifically, I used Google and searched for previous cases involving my HOA, where the attorneys represented the homeowner. A. This particular HOA is really not afraid to spend money on lawsuits. He thought if we wanted a higher fence and installed without permission or landscaped any further, we would be fined if someone complained. B. The HOA can't do anything about her behavior. And for a few hundred dollars, she will draft a letter making it clear

[00:06:28] [SPEAKER_00] we find this lady's post on their Facebook to be harassing. C. To call the non-emergency police and leave a message. B. As far as she's concerned, we have the appropriate insurance for our attractive nuisance. E. Because they are using a ladder to use our attractive nuisance to get over the fence, and an adult is always accompanying him, that the particular laws in our state make it very clear, if it's not easily accessible, it's not an attractive nuisance, and it only covers children.

[00:06:56] [SPEAKER_00] F. There is nothing illegal about posting it to Facebook slash nextdoor. O. P. Had a second update and says, I spoke with a non-emergency police line, and the community assigned police officer called me about 10 minutes later. The community police officer, who is very nice, looks like he's been widening down his career as a school police cop and a community cop. Agreed, if I called him today, he would come help me have the conversation and issue them a warning about trespassing. I don't want them charged.

[00:07:25] [SPEAKER_00] I want to be the bigger person, even if I want nothing more than to be extra petty and put her on blast with the neighbors. They showed up for the afternoon to play around 2.30. The dogs and cameras let me know. I called the officer and he parked down the block, and we both walked around the house. He verified my gate is locked. To my very surprised neighbors. I said, Hey Rachel, we need to talk. We can sit down and do it. I'm pissed you're all in my backyard without my permission,

[00:07:53] [SPEAKER_00] but I feel like I can control my emotions. I told her we had noticed they were at first letting themselves into my backyard, but now they were breaking into it. I said coming into my yard without permission needed to end today. The officer point blank said he works 8 to 5 Monday to Friday and will respond immediately to any trespassing incidents after today. She got a little snippy and started talking back to the officer, but the officer escorted her and her son and her ladder off the property

[00:08:21] [SPEAKER_00] and said he didn't want to hear it and that she's an adult and she can't go into a fenced property even when it's unlocked. Rachel posted not even 15 minutes later after this happened on the neighborhood Facebook with a picture of my backyard about how ridiculous it is that you can get a playground approved in a backyard and how ugly it is and how it's devaluing everyone's property and how it's dangerous and if anyone thinks it's impeding her view. Some agreement from her friends and a few people reminding her

[00:08:50] [SPEAKER_00] we live in a very kid-friendly neighborhood and it looked nice and natural. I also posted in the neighborhood Facebook with a picture from my office of my backyard with her and her son using a ladder to get over my fence into my backyard. Really good ISO landscaping suggestions on my fence line to keep neighbors out. I may be using our stimulus check on getting some supplies and making portable privacy screen slash fence slash trellis garden boxes. Suffice to say her Facebook post is deleted

[00:09:19] [SPEAKER_00] and her husband Facebook messaged me asking to delete mine. General says to the OP, thank you for keeping us informed. Please continue to do so. OP said fuck. If I thought I wouldn't get identified by posting the video here, I would. They literally have an above-ground swimming pool ladder they move and climb into my yard with. Hanno says, are you going to remove your post? What did her husband say about her using your backyard? OP says, I took my post down. That guy's been also climbing our fence and using our backyard,

[00:09:48] [SPEAKER_00] so it's not just a her problem. It's their bad behavior, not just hers. Bloody hell, the absolute audacity of these people climbing into someone's backyard like that to use their play equipment. And it's not just that. They must be like watching your house to know what time you all leave so they can schedule it to go round and use your yard. That's just crazy ass behavior.

[00:10:16] [SPEAKER_00] But what do you guys make of this situation? Let us know your thoughts down in the comments below and let's move on to another story. Our next story comes from the AmITheArseholeHere subreddit from a throwaway account that says AmITheArseholeHere for not wanting to buy a house three hours away from my workplace. I don't know how to start this. I, 27 female, have been with my fiancee, 28 male, for five years.

[00:10:46] [SPEAKER_00] We just recently saved enough for a deposit on a house and he's found this cottage in the middle of nowhere, two hours away from where we currently live. The thing is, I already work an hour away. I'm a nursery practitioner and I love my workplace. I've been there since I was 20 and I've worked my way up to a room lead position. Living three hours away from my job would not be ideal. But my fiancee won't budge on this house. He says it's perfect within our budget

[00:11:14] [SPEAKER_00] and quirky enough to fit our taste in home style. I've tried to communicate with him about the issue multiple times, bringing up the fact there's not even any nurseries in that area that are looking for staff. And I don't want to find another job that's a bit further out, but start from the bottom again. He says he'll work it all out if I just stop overthinking it. And I've been at my current job for so long that it would be nice for me to start fresh. Another issue is that I want children.

[00:11:41] [SPEAKER_00] They've always been a huge deal breaker for me. And I don't think it'd be such a good idea to live so remotely when it comes to children as we'll have to get them to and from school or nursery before and after work every day. The nearest school slash nursery is a 30 minute drive away from the house he wants. And we both start work fairly early and finish quite late. It will also be an issue of their freedom as they grow up because I think it would be horrible to have to rely on your parents for transportation all the time

[00:12:10] [SPEAKER_00] and have to skip out on plans if they can't drive you. He really thinks I'm being dramatic about this and I'll just figure it out. So am I the arsehole here for not wanting to move so far away from my job and basically all civilization? Hell no, this is just a big bunch of red flags. I mean, that's not how partners make major decisions together. Asking you to sacrifice your established career, the progression you've made in that career

[00:12:37] [SPEAKER_00] and your daily reality for what this dream cottage that's hours away from everything. And when you're raising these concerns, you're just told to just stop overthinking it. I mean, what the hell are you supposed to do? And where's his flexibility in this? What's he giving up for this? The impossible says to OP, not the arsehole. You two are not on the same page. You need to sort that out before you get married. OP says, I am desperately trying to sort it out.

[00:13:05] [SPEAKER_00] I'm considering telling him that I will end the engagement if he continues to be unreasonable and doesn't consider my feelings on the matter. Bourne says, this is ridiculous. You can't have a six hour daily commute. Put your foot down and tell him absolutely not and stand your ground. If he persists, it would certainly be a deal breaker for me. Feisty says, not the arsehole. If you have joined the funds, immediately remove your contributions from the account and safeguard the money. He absolutely will use all of it to buy the cottage.

[00:13:33] [SPEAKER_00] His plan is to isolate you and keep you away from your network of people. OP says, luckily I control our finances because I'm better with numbers. So I've already transferred my half of the savings into a different account. He won't even notice. He's usually very sweet and considerate. So I'm not sure what's got into him about this house. He loves my family and we have the same friend group as we've known each other since high school. So I don't think he's trying to isolate me. And Dismal says, not the arsehole. The house may be perfect,

[00:14:03] [SPEAKER_00] but the location is not. We know it doesn't work for you. Is this place closer to his work or how does this location work for him? If it doesn't work for him, what's the point? If it only works for him again, what's the point? He says to you that I'll just figure it out. Does he mean you or himself? If he means you, that is a huge red flag on top of the other flags. You can change jobs to accommodate his wants. You can start over to accommodate his wants. You can communicate to accommodate his wants.

[00:14:32] [SPEAKER_00] You're being dramatic for not accommodating his wants. It seems he views your relationship as all about him and what he wants. He's being an unreasonable selfish arsehole. You're not in a partnership. How do we rethinking this relationship? So, OP does come back in with an update and says, Hi all. Sorry I've been almost completely missing in action for the last few months. Life has been completely hectic, but I wanted to give an update because I saw people asking for an update.

[00:15:00] [SPEAKER_00] I also saw my post being read on TikTok a few months ago by one of my favorite Reddit story accounts actually, and that was crazy. I truly did not think it would end up anywhere but Reddit. First off, I, 27 female, want to share some things about my life and how it has been since I left my ex-fiancee, 28 male. Life has been up and down for me. I found a therapist and I started to rent a small flat close to my brother's house. Still living below my means as I start to save for a house again,

[00:15:30] [SPEAKER_00] building upon my more than half of savings I took when I left my ex. It was all my money. I'd saved most of it. I did not take any of the money that was his. The flat is small, but it's cozy and doesn't have any of the mess my ex always left around. I was offered a position as an assistant manager at my workplace, and while the pay rise would have been nice, I decided to turn it down as I just so love working with the children. I do not want to spend most of my time in an office. Being a room lead is fine with me.

[00:16:00] [SPEAKER_00] I adore my job. My workplace is still great and I've made some really good friends with some newer staff members. I often have a couple of them over for drinks or dinner after work. As a little single ladies club, my absolutely amazing dad died suddenly and tragically in September, far too soon at 65. He was truly the most incredible man and I've been leaning on him a lot for support after I left my ex. He left me a sizable sum of money

[00:16:28] [SPEAKER_00] and while I'm still waiting for that to come through, I'm planning to put it all into my house fund and I'm hoping to be a homeowner by the summer of 2026. I also adopted a little tortoiseshell cat to keep me company. Her name is Lily and she's the sweetest, cuddliest thing. I'm slowly getting back into dating and I actually made the realization that I like women, so I've been dipping my toes into going on dates with some lovely ladies, which has been great. Nothing serious of course, I'm not ready for that yet,

[00:16:58] [SPEAKER_00] but it's nice to have some connection with people and explore my newfound dating pool. See what fits me best and figure out my dating boundaries. Overall, while some times have been tough and heartbreaking, my life has improved. On the ex fronts, I really did dodge a bullet. My sister has told me countless times that I let a man disrespect me for far too long. He was not the man I thought he was and upon reflection, I realized the first red flag was how pushy he was for sex.

[00:17:26] [SPEAKER_00] I believe one comment on my last update called him a sex fiend. My therapist has helped me to realize that coercion was not consent, so I've been working through that. Since we split, he has apparently been posting on Instagram about being an alpha male. Oh dear. And how any woman would be lucky to have him. According to mutual friends, he's been listening to lots of horrible and misogynistic podcasts and spews that rhetoric to absolutely everyone he can. And he's already dating a new girl

[00:17:56] [SPEAKER_00] who is far from appropriately younger than him at 19. Yuck. I will never know the full logic of why he wanted me to move so far from everything I know and love. And I feel that the comments saying he wanted me to quit my job and be a stay-at-home mom were correct in their assumptions. He couldn't afford the house he wanted without my part of the savings. So we stuck in our old flat. I had to see him once more after I left just to get the rest of my things from our old place. And he tried to talk to me, asking if we could fix what we had.

[00:18:25] [SPEAKER_00] But I ignored him and simply took everything I needed before leaving and blocking him for good. He's not worth my time or energy. I think during our relationship, I lost who I really was and forgot that I am a strong, independent woman. I've always been quite feisty and I've always stood up for myself. But somehow with him, I lost those parts of me. They're back in full force now and I couldn't be happier with that. I've used my found again spine to fight for what I believe in.

[00:18:53] [SPEAKER_00] And I have been to several marches and protests for Palestine in the last few months, screaming at the top of my lungs, holding banners and waving flags. I've advocated for children's rights. I've joined clubs and groups and I've found my voice. Thank you all for your kind words, advice and encouragement. I don't think I would have left or stayed away if it wasn't for all of you commenting. And all of the comments seem to be really happy for Opie after this one, the transformation in herself,

[00:19:20] [SPEAKER_00] you know, almost being gaslit into a three hour commute to someone who's discovering more about herself every day, adopting a cat named Lily and turning down a promotion because she just loves working with kids and knows that she loves that. She's also got, you know, a single ladies club with her co-workers. She's on track to buy her own place by summer of 2026. And although there was a tragic part in it about losing her dad during all of this,

[00:19:47] [SPEAKER_00] which, you know, I'm incredibly sorry for your loss, but it must have been so wonderful to have your dad support you through those moments. And I can only imagine how incredibly, how proud he would be of you at this moment in time. But what do you guys make of this situation? Let us know your thoughts down in the comments below. And just a huge thank you for being here today, getting involved in the stories, your love, your support, your time. It always means the absolute world to me.

[00:20:16] [SPEAKER_00] So thank you so, so much for being here. And hopefully I'm going to see you in the next one. Take care. And much love.