My Wife's Attitude Has Completely Changed And It's Destroying Our Family r/Relationships

[00:00:03] Hey waffle gang, I do you well my name is Mark and today We're checking out some more reddit stories And if you do love a reddit story why not consider in our like subscribe maybe that notification bell too

[00:00:15] And let's crack on with today's first story much love guys now base first story comes from boy with the iron and it's got a few trigger warnings on it of Controlling behavior child abuse and racism as well

[00:00:29] So if you want to skip the story, please feel free to do so timestamps are always down in the description and along the timeline below Thank you And it's titled my 37 male wife 36 female is turning into an absolute hippie

[00:00:42] Psycho person and me and my son 12 can't stand it anymore a bit of backstory I'm from Puerto Rico and my wife is from suburban, Kansas City. I moved to NYC in 1984 and she moved here at 18 for college and fell in love with the city

[00:00:59] We actually met at a bar and had a one-night stand and she got pregnant At first we wanted her to get an abortion But we kind of fell in love at first one night stand and got married when our son was three months old

[00:01:12] We are very very different people. I'm from the South Bronx and grew up extremely rough I got into fights have gotten stabbed gotten shot at not a great upbringing I wasn't the worst kid, but my friends were truly bad people

[00:01:26] But I mostly got out of that lifestyle by the time I had met her So basically we've raised our son and we've had our ups and downs, but we are both successful at our jobs and whatnot

[00:01:36] But in the past two years her attitude towards certain things have changed is just a list of what I'm talking about She refuses to eat gluten. This should give you a staple of the stereotype. She fits into now

[00:01:49] She's 100% vegan and gets extremely mad when we meet in the house She goes to yoga three times a week and cries when we don't want to go with her She suddenly doesn't like movies with violence or drugs or partying. She gets extremely protective of our son about this

[00:02:05] She doesn't let our son hang out with his friends sometimes because the friends are too rowdy and come from uncultured families She doesn't let our son bike around the neighborhood with his friends at all She needs to constantly be with him when he is hanging out

[00:02:19] She literally took his iPod and changed the music to what she considers good music This consists of Justin Timberlake and Mumford & Sons Macklemore Taylor Swift type stuff mostly our son liked electronic dance and metal a lot This was one of the worst things she did in my opinion

[00:02:37] She thinks I am too masculine in the way I act and constantly tries to correct the way I act saying I have toxic masculinity in me She uses this near constantly when I tell her I don't like how she babies our son

[00:02:50] She calls the cops on basically any crime she sees including one time when we walked by a house party and she called the cops because Underage drinking was happening. She wants to keep her community safe

[00:03:01] One time she also called the cops because a few Spanish teens were playing soccer in the street and just assumed they were up to no Good that made me insanely upset Honestly, this is just the tip of the iceberg

[00:03:14] This has been her for the past two to three years and we've gotten into near constant arguments about this I tell her she is too sensitive about nearly everything

[00:03:23] Then she goes off on rants and tries to show me all these weird articles about how what I'm doing is gaslighting her She's also trying really really hard to act young

[00:03:33] Like she goes to indie shows in Williamsburg filled with 22 year old hipsters and tries to chat people up to make friends And when she gets rejected or something like that from those indie circles She comes home and cries in my arms and is depressed for days

[00:03:47] She wants so badly to be a part of that crowd. She seems to have anxiety and depression issues I do honestly feel bad for her. She keeps up this insane persona

[00:03:57] She describes herself as a modern-day hippie. She spends all of her time checking out new cafes and brunch spots with her friends I know how this started. She got a job at this new office filled with young yuppies Basically right after that she changed into this

[00:04:11] I think to keep up with her co-workers, but it's clearly turned into something much more devastating and self-esteem damaging than that I just want her to be herself. Not this crazy person trying to perfect everything around her to fit her worldview

[00:04:26] Interestingly enough if you've ever seen season 3 episode 1 of Black Mirror She reminds me insanely of the main character of that episode But more willing to disrupt everything around her to fit what she wants, even if it inconveniences others

[00:04:40] But this is all recent. She was never like this four years ago She was just a regular working woman who liked to relax and hang out and didn't take much seriously like she does now

[00:04:49] We used to get drunk at dive bars together. We used to party a bit even It all hit a bad point a week ago when my son Who has been in conflict with nearly with her nearly constantly got into a major argument with her

[00:05:02] The argument was over whether he can hang out with his friends who were outside and she said no because there were too many of Them she thought it was bad to hang out in such large groups

[00:05:11] This is the type of shit she thinks about I know she really didn't want him out there because the kids were mostly black and Spanish But he is half Puerto Rican He got so mad he took dishes and began shattering them on the ground

[00:05:26] Then he left and didn't come back for five hours while my wife hysterically cried and called the cops to find him Since then he is not allowed to leave the house and my wife has cried nightly for losing our son

[00:05:39] It's become extra horrible towards me and my son He thinks I'm on his side simply because I tried to defend him and say she was overreacting But every time I say she's overreacting she has a breakdown and says I'm just doing what men do to women

[00:05:53] I don't even know what to do anymore. I know that this isn't her I know that she's developed some serious mental problems in the past two to three years I know this isn't normal for her

[00:06:04] I don't want to divorce her, but I'm not sure if I can handle this any longer. She's broken down She's in bed crying nearly all day. She will sometimes go off yelling at me that I am the epitome of toxic

[00:06:15] Masculinity and then an hour later be crying in my arms saying she loves me more than anything Is this some type of personality disorder? Does she need therapy? What can I say to make her calm down?

[00:06:25] I was thinking about writing a heartfelt letter about the way she's been acting That way she can't interrupt me like she usually does with a screaming. I don't want to argue I just want to make my point and have her respond

[00:06:36] I don't want to seem as if I disapprove of her entire lifestyle and everything she has done What the hell do I do? I feel so passive in this situation And she goes nuts when she sees me acting completely normal while she's crying or yelling or whatnot

[00:06:51] As if every time she's acting crazy, I have to act crazy too about whatever she is crazy about at that moment What the fuck do I do? I do not want a divorce I want to help her. We both still very much love each other despite this madness

[00:07:06] Now it's a tough situation Especially, you know You don't want a divorce you want to help her as much as you can and you say this It's change in her attitude isn't she's like a completely it sounds like she's completely

[00:07:18] different person from the person that you fell in love with and obviously it could be something to do with her work and meeting people And changing and stuff like that

[00:07:26] But to me it feels like there's something mentally going on there and I think you're at the point in this that She needs to see a doctor or some kind of professional Help her with whatever she is going through because let's face it if this continues

[00:07:40] It sounds like it's destroying your family unit and it will at some point So something needs to be said something needs to be done here for me Anyway, but Opie answered some comments to give some additional information

[00:07:51] Lou monster says I think your wife has fallen into the perfect modern woman trap A lot of women get this idea in their head that they have to be the perfect model of femininity feminism motherhood strength sexuality Youthfulness social awareness cultural awareness, etc

[00:08:07] And frankly, there is no woman alive that can be that perfect. So just spirals into panic and feelings of failure Your wife needs therapy You have to have a sit down and lay it out and tell her that therapy is a must for your family to feel whole

[00:08:21] And peaceful she needs to understand how serious this is if he says this almost exactly I'm so glad you wrote that because it makes me realize a lot of what she's trying to do and why it's causing her So much stress

[00:08:34] Also, it helps that it seems to be a common problem with women her age. So she isn't alone I just wanted to know that especially because I bet she looks around and believes all the women around her Especially their job a perfect modern women

[00:08:49] Ella PB says let me share something with you as an ex-vegan promotional distress could very be well due to a vitamin D and Slash or b12 deficiency. I know it sounds crazy, but that shit is real and it makes you a depressed weepin wacko

[00:09:05] Vegans usually do not get enough vitamin D or b12 through their diet and both should be supplemented. This is scientifically documented Is she taking a b12 supplement Her other crazy behaviors are more likely related to depression and a sudden feeling like she has no identity

[00:09:22] She really could benefit from some therapy or at least some parenting classes to help her find tools to connect back to your son without damaging the relationship Personally, I think she sounds too controlling over him

[00:09:34] But a lot of parents start this kind of behavior when they suddenly realize the kids are independent First tell your wife she needs to be taking b12 supplements at the very least and ideally vitamin D2

[00:09:44] See if that helps mellow out her moods. I was shocked at what a difference it made in mine Opie says feeling like she has no identity is the perfect way to describe it She came to NYC a totally normal girl in a city of extremely interesting people

[00:09:59] And I think when she came face to face with that side of the city at a new job She just became overwhelmed with jealousy for that lifestyle It's almost like if she can't be that perfect modern woman as someone else who commented described it. She can't be anything

[00:10:13] I'm definitely going to ask her about the b12 thing that could easily be a solution But it's not going to solve her ongoing issues. She only became a vegan like six months ago

[00:10:23] These issues have been going on for years now kitty kitty meow meow says god almighty man I'm so sorry for you. You need to give her an ultimatum and I usually think that's a bad idea

[00:10:34] Of couples and individual therapy you may have to start with couples or you find a divorce lawyer This is seriously stunting your poor son. Never mind yourself

[00:10:44] Now it's the time to be a good father and intervene in a way that helps your son to live a normal life Opie says I'm thinking about this But I have mentioned therapy before and she accused me of gaslighting her and got even more sad

[00:10:57] I'm going to make a true heartfelt request that we both go to therapy I don't feel as if I need it for myself But I know she'll feel better as I act if we both need it

[00:11:07] And there was all sorts of comments below that people talking about therapy mental illness Some people saying get you and your son out of that situation some people talking about the racism within the story Menopause was mentioned But a couple of months later

[00:11:24] Opie updated their story and said figure out a date this with all the craziness that has happened wife had an absolute breakdown at both me and my son and she basically ran away and got wasted at a bar and

[00:11:35] Came back and threatened to kill herself with pills or the police they came by by the time they came She was just crying on the couch and the cops left didn't really know what to do. My son was crying and everything

[00:11:46] I told her she has to go to a mental hospital or see a doctor as soon as possible And she then got even more mad at me and then she went upstairs and just started screaming like an insane person

[00:11:57] She did end up going to the doctor who diagnosed her with b12 deficiency at a severe level Just like you guys said She's been taking pills and I can't even describe what has changed in her

[00:12:09] She went from an absolute downward spiral into madness and controlling everything just a much more clear-minded calm person She sometimes feels weird about admitting just how wrong she was about certain things and she said she never realized how blind she was

[00:12:25] To how horrible she was treating the people around her She said her anxiety over things would sometimes spike through the roof and she over relied on blogs She read on the internet to help control her life. I'm glad she's been able to admit these things

[00:12:39] I honestly feel like some of it wasn't entirely b12 deficiency though At least she might be retracting a lot of stuff He didn't said which had nothing to do with a deficiency like her going vegan was a symptom of the original problem

[00:12:52] Not like veganism is bad that she was desperate to fit in with the young yuppie crowd I'm not sure if she purposely blaming all of her old weird problems on b12 deficiency

[00:13:02] But that weird stuff started before she went vegan. So I think there was still some insecurity problems there I'm just glad she has spent the last few weeks realizing how problematic she has been She said she was like in a trance

[00:13:16] But she thought the entire world was against her and the things she read on the internet confirmed that there was some global Conspiracy as she describes it to make her be a dependent person or some shit like that. I'm just so glad she is back

[00:13:29] So so glad it seems I've got some googling to do on vitamin deficiencies. That's quite interesting In the comments below this one a lot of people relating themselves having b12 deficiency in and the changing in behaviors other people

[00:13:46] Questioning her behavior and was it all down to the b12 deficiency in itself or was there more to it as well? But what do you guys make of this situation? Let me know your thoughts down in the comments below and let's move on to another story

[00:14:01] Now our next story comes from throw a secrets 27 from the true off my chest Subreddit and says it was revealed that my dad has a secret other family and now there is drama

[00:14:12] The story is that my dad had a child with another woman shortly after he married my mom But before I was born my brother that I didn't know about is 32 I'm 28 female and my younger brothers are 26 and 24

[00:14:26] My dad gave the other woman money over the years and her and my brother knew my dad was married and had a family But none of us knew about them The only reason my brother 32 male revealed the secret is because his son needs a bone marrow transplant

[00:14:39] And they're looking for a match and anyone with a blood relation is the best chance for one My mom feels betrayed obviously and I doubt their marriage will survive But I hate all the drama and gossiping that is happening in my family

[00:14:53] Hate drama in general and this is like my worst nightmare Nandu says after that one what I'm more interested in in knowing is did they find a bone marrow match for the kid?

[00:15:05] Opie says they only found out about my brother and my dad's secret family two days ago. Nandi replies and fair enough I totally understand that this is life-changing news for you and your family

[00:15:16] I'd still like to know if you guys are going to try and save the kids life or not Opie says I'm disqualified as a donor because I've had cancer

[00:15:24] But my younger brothers and my uncle and my cousin said it will get tested. I would too if I could New environment says how was your mom doing? How are you feeling? Opie says my mom is devastated. She went to stay with my grandmother and my great-aunt

[00:15:39] I'm torn between worried about her angry at my dad and worried about my nephew. So all over the place Opie on if the family's got tested to see if there's a match Opie says my dad did get tested a while back

[00:15:53] My dad hasn't asked anyone to do anything or put anything on us. My brother came to us against dad's will Control says how did your brother get in touch with you? Did he find you on Facebook?

[00:16:05] Did you get your number from your dad or did dad refuse and try to block him from contacting your? Opie says he hired a private investigator. He contacted us against my dad's will

[00:16:16] Dad told him not to contact us, but this wasn't a normal situation where he just wanted to tell us for fun It was because his son's life is at stake He's only met my dad twice before this

[00:16:26] Once when he was in college and the second time for my dad to be tested to see if it was a match Dad isn't on the birth certificate and wasn't involved in his life at all. So it's not as though my brother knew where to find us

[00:16:39] 18 months later Opie comes in with her update and says I forgot about this post for a bit because everything was crazy My original post is here and then shares the link Want to thank everyone who posted kind and supportive comments towards me and my family

[00:16:55] My mom divorced my dad She could not get past the infidelity didn't believe my dad that it was a one and only time indiscretion She was devastated when she found out she's doing better now, but it still hurts sometimes

[00:17:09] They were married for 34 years, so it's been a big adjustment for her regarding my nephew It turned out that while no one in my family is a match my brothers my uncle and my cousins all got tested

[00:17:20] But then girlfriend now fiance of my cousin was a match. She agreed to be a donor It was a complete fluke because she isn't genetically related to my nephew But she has given him a second chance and had no hesitation about agreeing to donate

[00:17:36] Everything went as well as it could have and my nephew is doing great We've been getting to know my brother his wife and my nephew My brother has only met or talked to my dad twice in his life

[00:17:47] Once when he was in university and once to tell my dad that my nephew needed a bone marrow donor Total time for both meetings together was less than 30 minutes My dad was never involved in his life and but against my brother contacting us

[00:18:01] Don't care what my dad says that my brother wasn't trying to get money or anything from us It was just about trying to save nephew Thanks again, or the supportive comments Well, and I'm so relieved to hear that that kid is doing okay

[00:18:17] And the fiance what an amazing person to be doing that but one of the things jumped out to me in this where the dad said, you know, it was a One-time discretion and it really isn't though. Is it when you find out years and years later about this?

[00:18:32] It's like it's like years of betrayal that your at the mom is having to deal with now that the family is having to deal With but at the same time

[00:18:41] I'm glad that the brothers and the nephew was able to connect and I can only wish them all the best going forward I really do but what do you guys make of this situation? Let me know your thoughts down in the comments below

[00:18:56] Just a huge. Thank you from the bottom of my heart for getting involved in today's stories Your love your support your time always means the absolute world to me

[00:19:04] So thank you so so much for being involved truly is absolutely amazing and hopefully we'll see you in the next one Take care and much love