My Wife Told Me I'm Replaceable & Shortly After I Had A Heart Attack r/Relationships

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[00:00:37] Hey, what for gang?

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[00:00:53] And today's first story comes from the Am I Wrong subreddit from Chimney4684 and

[00:00:59] says, my wife told me I'm replaceable.

[00:01:03] I 30 male have been married to my wife 29 female for two years and we've known each other for

[00:01:10] six.

[00:01:11] A few weeks ago, we had an argument and during our disagreement, she told me that I am replaceable.

[00:01:17] After our argument, she went out with her friends.

[00:01:20] I've been dealing with some health problems for a while and the argument stressed me

[00:01:24] out leaving me nervous and unwell.

[00:01:27] I was alone in the house and decided to call the paramedics because I felt that

[00:01:31] something was really wrong.

[00:01:33] To sum up, I suffered a heart attack.

[00:01:36] In the hospital, they tried to reach my wife but she didn't respond.

[00:01:40] Likely still upset from our argument.

[00:01:43] She called later after coming home when she found out I'm not there.

[00:01:47] After learning of my condition, she came to see me and stayed with me the entire

[00:01:51] time constantly crying and holding my hand.

[00:01:54] After being sent home, she did everything so I could recover faster.

[00:01:58] However, despite her efforts, I couldn't stop thinking about how she had told

[00:02:01] me that I'm replaceable.

[00:02:03] I constantly think about it.

[00:02:05] I want to confront her about it but I don't think I'm ready.

[00:02:09] I'm trying to understand why context matters and what way or situation is acceptable to

[00:02:15] call your partner replaceable.

[00:02:17] The audacity to even say something like that is beyond me.

[00:02:21] I will answer some things here.

[00:02:24] We have no children.

[00:02:25] I have genetic health problems, external factors also contributed to my problems.

[00:02:31] I have a higher salary than her so I mostly pay the bills or buy things for our home.

[00:02:36] I mostly cook and clean.

[00:02:38] She does it too but mostly me.

[00:02:40] It's not 50-50 more like 60-40.

[00:02:43] She isn't actively trying to kill me.

[00:02:46] I hope so at least.

[00:02:47] I don't know if she has a fuck buddy.

[00:02:50] Let's also address the elephant in the room.

[00:02:51] We had an argument about our house.

[00:02:54] Some issues with it.

[00:02:56] After that, we also discussed our priorities, careers and intimacy.

[00:02:59] At one point, discussion was replaced by her venting and saying things not even related to

[00:03:04] the original discussion.

[00:03:06] Had no issues with her ranting about things until she told me that I'm replaceable.

[00:03:11] That was the end of the conversation.

[00:03:13] I no longer wanted to talk.

[00:03:15] She finds my silence terrifying but she didn't stay in the house for long after the argument.

[00:03:20] I don't know when she came home.

[00:03:22] I woke up in the hospital and she was there.

[00:03:24] She kept crying and holding my hands.

[00:03:26] She didn't speak much.

[00:03:27] She couldn't.

[00:03:29] On the side note, some people in the comments section have issues themselves.

[00:03:33] Some of the comments are just wild.

[00:03:36] Horrifying.

[00:03:37] As usual.

[00:03:39] There's been angry in the moment and they're saying something that's cruel.

[00:03:43] What she said was absolutely cruel.

[00:03:46] Like yourself, I don't know how I would look past that.

[00:03:51] It's something that would always sit in your mind.

[00:03:53] Why wouldn't it be told that you are replaceable?

[00:03:56] It could be something that she didn't really mean in the heat of the moment kind of stuff.

[00:04:02] I could never imagine saying something like that even in the heat of the moment.

[00:04:07] But there was a highly upvoted comment that everyone was pointing out.

[00:04:11] Pretty pandemonium said, my husband once said to me, wives are replaceable, mothers

[00:04:16] are not.

[00:04:17] Mum will always win.

[00:04:19] Within the year our nine-year marriage collapsed.

[00:04:22] The context was finding out how deeply involved his mother was in our marriage.

[00:04:26] Arguments, decisions, etc.

[00:04:28] We were not arguing but having a discussion about how it was a right to basically have

[00:04:32] a third person in the marriage and it was between the two of us.

[00:04:36] The way I found out was during a discussion about investments we had made.

[00:04:39] I got up from the table we were talking at and found his phone on the counter with

[00:04:44] mum showing on screen.

[00:04:46] He'd call her and had her listen into our discussion so he could take it to her

[00:04:50] after we were done.

[00:04:52] I disconnected the call without comment and she called back immediately.

[00:04:56] He vehemently disagreed that it wasn't right and made that statement to me, basically

[00:05:01] stating that it was he and his mum against me and I'd always lose.

[00:05:06] While she was still on the phone listening in.

[00:05:08] It was like a gut punch.

[00:05:10] It opened my eyes to a lot of little things that eventually led to fighting for divorce.

[00:05:16] He was stunned.

[00:05:17] His mum called me and immediately said, you can't do that.

[00:05:20] Oh yes I can and did.

[00:05:23] As a petty move I served his mother to divorce papers at the same time so

[00:05:27] she could be involved in the divorce.

[00:05:29] Lol.

[00:05:30] $50 well spent in my opinion.

[00:05:32] She came to our hearing and was so vocal about what she thought was right and wrong

[00:05:37] and the judge ordered her out of the courtroom.

[00:05:39] Lol.

[00:05:40] He's her full-time problem now.

[00:05:42] They've been living together since the separation and she's miserable about it.

[00:05:47] They deserve each other.

[00:05:49] Holy moly a story within a story.

[00:05:51] I can see why that was upvoted.

[00:05:54] Nearly pointless says you can forgive her for what she said but you will never forget

[00:05:58] how she made you feel in the moment.

[00:06:00] This is why we don't name call or let our anger overwhelm our kindness.

[00:06:04] It's okay to be angry but to be cruel is not acceptable.

[00:06:09] Tiny ad says I think you need to space my friend to think this all through.

[00:06:13] What she said can't be put back into the bottle.

[00:06:16] Even if said in anger even if she didn't mean it you'll never 100% know.

[00:06:21] Clearly your health will be better without this level of stress.

[00:06:24] I don't know what is causing your heart problems whether it's fitness, diet or just a heart condition

[00:06:29] but clearly you need time to rest mentally and physically and build up some cardiac resilience.

[00:06:35] I strongly suggest listening to your doctors and potentially living separately from your wife

[00:06:39] for a month or two.

[00:06:40] I don't really care if your marriage doesn't survive that as long as you do.

[00:06:44] Not the asshole look after yourself.

[00:06:46] You can't live if your heart gives out.

[00:06:49] And one more comment from Formica who says technically we're all replaceable.

[00:06:53] You still don't say that to someone you supposedly love.

[00:06:57] The OP gives their first little update and says I've decided to separate for a month.

[00:07:01] We will go to a counselor and speak maybe one to two times a week.

[00:07:05] If she cares about me she will accept it and do everything she can to improve our

[00:07:09] relationship and marriage.

[00:07:11] If she starts playing around going on dates or if I suspect her of cheating I will end it.

[00:07:16] There won't be any forgiveness or second chances or make an update post sometime in the future.

[00:07:22] So many of you reached out and offered support and advice.

[00:07:25] I think the least I can do is provide you with an update.

[00:07:28] Thank you all very much.

[00:07:31] Six weeks later OP comes in with another update and says as promised

[00:07:35] here's an update on my situation.

[00:07:37] I won't go into much detail just the most important things.

[00:07:41] Physically I'm doing great.

[00:07:42] I've started working out again although I had a slower pace than before.

[00:07:46] With time it will get better.

[00:07:49] Separation really helped me a lot.

[00:07:51] Firstly I might sound selfish but I only worried about myself so I did everything for myself.

[00:07:58] At first it was a different feeling.

[00:08:00] I felt alone for the first time in a really long time and I needed a few days to get used to it.

[00:08:05] After I got used to it it was actually quite nice.

[00:08:08] I got to do whatever I wanted whenever I wanted.

[00:08:11] I bought myself a lot of things redecorated a bit changed some old things and honestly

[00:08:16] I liked it there was no stress no arguments no problems it was peaceful and quiet.

[00:08:22] I got myself a cat and the two of us get along really well.

[00:08:26] I spoke to my wife on a weekly basis we also went to a counselor which

[00:08:30] really changed a lot of things.

[00:08:32] Whenever we went there I laid all the cards on the table.

[00:08:35] I was really honest maybe too honest and I said a lot of things that I accumulated over time.

[00:08:41] Every annoyance issue pretty much everything I thought could be way better.

[00:08:46] My wife took the separation really hard it was really bad for the first few days she was fine

[00:08:51] or she pretended to be but as time progressed it was clear she wasn't doing well.

[00:08:56] What I did was whenever we went to a counselor I focused on only trying to

[00:09:00] figure out my marriage and issues with it but as soon as I left the counselor

[00:09:05] I checked out like a switch I didn't want to bring any of it home and disturb my peace.

[00:09:11] My wife also started individual therapy for her own mental health and issues that have been

[00:09:16] present for some time. I asked her if she cheated on me and honestly I expected some

[00:09:21] outburst of rage or yelling but there wasn't any of it she was really sweet and told me no

[00:09:28] and that she understands why I might think that and she offered a phone in her social media

[00:09:32] accounts for me to check. For some reason I decided to be a dick and I told her that maybe

[00:09:37] she deleted and covered her tracks. She has no proof of anything again no yelling or anything

[00:09:43] just really sad looking her eyes. I realized that I went too far and I apologized time passed

[00:09:49] and I decided to let it go so I told her that I forgive her and that I will give her another

[00:09:55] chance honestly I wanted some form of revenge but while revenge might be sweet everything

[00:10:01] after it is bitter I also told her that I won't forget her words. Anyway she came back to my house

[00:10:08] and everything changed no longer am I doing most of the stuff she now works just as hard

[00:10:13] maybe even more than me and she doesn't allow me to do certain things much to my annoyance.

[00:10:19] We will continue going to a counselor for a little bit longer and she is still going

[00:10:23] to her individual therapy. While I liked being alone I truly missed her I missed her hair

[00:10:29] her smile her eyes and now I find myself looking at her and paying attention to everything she does.

[00:10:35] I guess separation made us appreciate each other way more than before maybe we took each other for

[00:10:40] granted and we didn't value each other until we split. I think we fell in love again I can't

[00:10:47] describe it but each hug each touch feels different like it radiates with sincerity and love.

[00:10:53] As for the future I'm planning a trip in secret as a surprise so we can go out of town for a

[00:10:58] few days just the two of us time alone really helped me relax and not worry about unimportant things.

[00:11:04] I focused on myself and what I want what I want my marriage to be and my life so now I'm going

[00:11:10] to work towards that we really learned to communicate much better than before we became

[00:11:15] much more open towards each other more vulnerable I think it will help us going forward I guess

[00:11:21] after all it turns out that I'm not so easily replaceable and on the back of that optimal

[00:11:27] super says happy to hear you guys are able to work things out it was tough tunnels to go through but

[00:11:32] the relationship seems to have gotten stronger on the other side and that's awesome it was a blessing

[00:11:36] in disguise opie says we're still working on it and we will continue to do so things are way

[00:11:42] better than they used to be there are still some differences and things we need to work on

[00:11:46] or at least find a middle ground which will probably be resolved in future counselling

[00:11:51] sessions interesting update and you know I'm super glad that opie's health initially is in the right

[00:11:57] place and their relationship is moving towards a better place as well and that they do value each

[00:12:02] other in a different way than they did before or maybe a rekindled way or something like that

[00:12:08] as I was first going through the update I thought oh they're not going to last and because opie's

[00:12:12] found this freedom and they was really enjoying it so I thought when they got to that counselling

[00:12:16] session and opie was bringing up potentially cheating on him I thought it was like you know his way of

[00:12:23] getting out of that relationship if you like you know just saying I want out of this kind of thing

[00:12:28] I don't really want us to be together anymore but you know they did get together but that's how

[00:12:33] it made me feel as I was reading that initial update but now I'm going to turn this one

[00:12:36] to you guys what do you guys make of this situation let me know your thoughts down

[00:12:41] in the comments below and let's move on to another story

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[00:13:46] a cast code a cast and our next story comes from large knowledge 1699 and says am I the asshole

[00:13:56] here for calling divorce immediately after finding out my wife emotionally cheated on me

[00:14:02] I found out my wife was cheating on me emotionally last week I found it through a

[00:14:06] notification when she was in the shower we are both 33 and married for six years in my eyes everything

[00:14:13] was good funny how one can hide their betrayal without the other party noticing I confronted her

[00:14:19] right away and told her to open the phone to show me the messages she refused at first but gave

[00:14:25] up after I told her we're getting a divorce the texts were not that old and there were not many

[00:14:30] it was obvious most of the texts were deleted I asked her questions about the affair why

[00:14:36] who where and how we'll not go into details as I want to stay anonymous but I was trickle

[00:14:42] truth in the end she got caught and trickle truth me I do not believe her and what she said about

[00:14:47] the extent they went at the beginning of our relationship I made it very clear that cheating

[00:14:52] in any form is a relationship end up I told her to get a lawyer because we're getting a divorce

[00:14:58] she asked me for marriage counseling promised to change and even make her life completely dependent

[00:15:02] on me leave the job not leave the house and give me all of her digital devices I told her where

[00:15:08] marriage counseling would help was before she decided to have an affair we could go to marriage

[00:15:13] counseling and solve the problem there by talking whichever problem she had instead she went on to

[00:15:18] have an emotional affair and make sure to actively hide things from me by deleting texts

[00:15:23] and trickle truthing I reminded her my boundaries and what I told her about them in the

[00:15:28] beginning of the relationship I will hand the divorce papers to her this month and she's telling

[00:15:33] me to reconsider and I the asshole in this situation I never understand people like

[00:15:39] after they've done this they've trickle truth their way through it and you know they finally

[00:15:43] get called out and then they go for this desperation this last reach at their relationship

[00:15:49] and they say you know you can have complete control over me basically I won't leave the

[00:15:53] house you can have all my devices and you know I'll basically serve you and it's like

[00:15:57] could you imagine living like that even for OP could you imagine having someone around the house

[00:16:02] like that that is just like no way to live is it and something that would never be sustainable

[00:16:08] but like with a lot of these stories that I read is once the trust is gone how do you ever get

[00:16:13] that back and you know trickle truthing even makes it in some way worse does it because

[00:16:18] it's just like a series of lies one after the other that you're having to force out of this person

[00:16:23] but Lex says not the asshole the trickle truth is the problem that makes reconciliation a non-starter

[00:16:29] you can't trust her all the things she's willing to do now are band-aids who wants to be

[00:16:34] married with someone who can't have a life outside of you because they may cheat again

[00:16:38] she made her choice don't let her drag out the inevitable blue green says not the asshole

[00:16:43] you clearly stated a boundary and what the consequences would be now she's shocked that

[00:16:48] you actually meant what you said divorce her and get her out of your house and I know this

[00:16:53] isn't the point but I think a boundary about cheating or emotionally cheating isn't something

[00:16:58] that really needs to be discussed in the first place anyway it should be just a given right

[00:17:03] it's not like she could have turned around and said wow we didn't discuss this at the start

[00:17:07] but humble guidance says I've been married for 36 years trust and love are the currencies of a

[00:17:12] successful relationship if you don't think that you can ever trust her again then leave

[00:17:17] if you still love her want to save the marriage then try therapy only you know what you feel

[00:17:22] strongest about I wish you luck enjoy a final comment from bored at home who says not the

[00:17:27] asshole she wants you to reconsider because she hadn't gone far enough with her a fair partner

[00:17:31] to know that he would take her after you divorced you've only been married six years if she's

[00:17:37] invested in her emotions with someone else the marriage is doomed this is a fair end what's

[00:17:41] going to stop the next one unless you become her jailer but no that's a doomed marriage

[00:17:48] the op comes in with an update and says it's 100% divorce now I think I was looking to relax

[00:17:54] and validate my logic with that post love is there but trust is broken my heart told me to

[00:18:00] have hope but my logic told me divorce logic won in the end it's been over a week now and

[00:18:06] I still do not get the full information about the affair yesterday night in this morning

[00:18:11] after the post I came to learn new information about the affair I'm still not sure if it's the

[00:18:15] full extent clarify the emotional affair part they sexted sent nudes to each other and there was

[00:18:21] I loved yous involved if it's not cheating I do not know what it is whatever I still don't know

[00:18:27] the full truth and she refuses disclosing who exactly the affair partner is my trust level

[00:18:32] for her is so low that she could say sky is blue and I would doubt it this relationship is just

[00:18:39] over dead I will go ahead with the divorce as soon as possible so I can process my feelings alone

[00:18:45] after she leaves some people told me I would not be able to find anyone at 33 as a male this is

[00:18:50] the last thing I worry about after divorce first thing is to get over the relationship and put

[00:18:55] myself together better than ever I'm planning starting individual therapy right after I sort

[00:19:00] things out I can date after that easily hope seeing you with a happy divorce update

[00:19:05] and in a better mood who the fuck's telling op that you won't find anyone at 33 the absolute

[00:19:12] berks you will op and I do wish you all the best going forward I'm sorry for what you're going

[00:19:18] through and like you said without the trust what is there and the fact that she won't even disclose

[00:19:23] any information now still says an absolute lot you know she was throwing everything at you

[00:19:28] in the very first post that you know she would stay home you can have her phone etc etc

[00:19:33] but she won't even give you any extra information now absolute bullshit and you're better off out

[00:19:38] of it I hope the therapy does help you and please do give us that update in the future and how

[00:19:44] you're getting on would love to hear it but now what do you guys make of this situation let's

[00:19:50] have another story and our final story is just a cheeky little one from the am I the arseouls

[00:19:56] subreddit from am I the arseoul car seat drama who says am I the arseoul for not giving my

[00:20:00] pregnant friend a car seat I 26 female have a one year old daughter she is still using her

[00:20:07] infant car seat however we were hit about a month ago and while we weren't hurt I no longer felt

[00:20:13] like the car seat was safe so I replaced it my pregnant friend and 24 female asked if she could

[00:20:19] have the car seat since I was just throwing it out anyway oh no no no no no I explained that

[00:20:26] the car seats are made to withstand one accident and I didn't think it was safe for my daughter or hers

[00:20:32] she is a known dumpster diver so I wrote on the car seat in permanent marker that it was in a car

[00:20:37] accident and I took out the straps when I threw it away so it wasn't usable and kept them to

[00:20:42] throw away later and went through my trash and called me selfish for wasting a perfectly good

[00:20:48] car seat and said I haven't been helpful to her at all I organized her baby shower gave her

[00:20:54] a lot of my daughters old clothes except for sentimental outfits because she asked commission

[00:20:58] baby blankets and two outfits from a friend of mine whose work she likes helped her around the house

[00:21:04] etc I've tried my best I don't feel like not wanting to risk her daughter dying makes me the

[00:21:10] arseoul that does it I didn't know too much about the safety thing around it or the intricacies

[00:21:16] of it but I know if like like OP said if these seats have been in any accident you got to

[00:21:22] replace them because you don't know what damage has been done to that seat what stress has been put

[00:21:27] under this is if it's weak in the material etc but as always with reddit there's an expert

[00:21:34] in the comments so kittenhyber says not the arseoul I'm a former licensed child passenger safety

[00:21:39] technician working with NHTSA you are absolutely correct in what you told your friend car seats

[00:21:47] are made to withstand one accident after which they need to be replaced due to potential damage

[00:21:52] including hairline fractures and damage that is not immediately visible even if they look and

[00:21:58] seem fine an accident means they've been through enough stress and so are not 100% anymore which

[00:22:03] means they are less safe for the baby I hope your friend does come around and listen to you

[00:22:08] since you only have her and her baby's well-being in mind car seats may be expensive yes but

[00:22:14] there is no price worth a baby's life and safety I don't think we really need to cover any

[00:22:20] more comments in that I did have a scout through just to see if there was like any differing opinion

[00:22:25] see if anyone dead say you're the arseoul but there wasn't I'll be interested to know if any of you

[00:22:30] guys have a different opinion on that matter but now I'm gonna turn this one to you guys what do

[00:22:35] you guys make of it let us know your thoughts and just a huge thank you from the bottom of my

[00:22:39] heart for getting involved in today's stories your love your support your time always means

[00:22:44] the absolute world to me and that is the absolute truth and if you do have a moment and you haven't

[00:22:50] as yet if you wouldn't mind clicking that like button I know I say every single episode but

[00:22:54] I can't tell you the difference it does make to the channel you know that interaction it all helps

[00:22:59] boost these videos and you know keeps me going basically so thank you so much and I'll see you

[00:23:03] in the next one take care and much love even when we're on a budget we still deserve nice

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