My Step-Mother Attempted To Donate My Children Clothes Behind My Back r/Relationships

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[00:00:36] [SPEAKER_01]: Hey Waffle Gang, I do hope you are well. My name is Mark and today we're checking out some more Reddit Stories.

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[00:00:49] [SPEAKER_01]: Let's crack on with today's first story. Much love guys!

[00:00:55] [SPEAKER_01]: Today's first story comes from the true off my chest subreddit from StellaJump91 who says,

[00:01:02] [SPEAKER_01]: My stepmother tried to donate my children's clothes behind my back. I don't want to near my family anymore.

[00:01:08] [SPEAKER_01]: The context, I 34 female live in Brazil. I'm not sure how well other countries are being informed of this but the state of Rio Grande do Sul,

[00:01:19] [SPEAKER_01]: I know the pronunciation is not correct, I did try learning it properly. I can't do it though, I apologize,

[00:01:25] [SPEAKER_01]: has been going through a devastating flood that is engulfing the entire towns and affecting thousands of people.

[00:01:31] [SPEAKER_01]: My family doesn't live in Rio Grande do Sul but we like many others are donating to the survivors.

[00:01:39] [SPEAKER_01]: I live in an apartment with my husband, 37 male and our children 10 male and 6 female.

[00:01:45] [SPEAKER_01]: A couple of weeks ago we organized some of our kids all clothes to donate.

[00:01:49] [SPEAKER_01]: My father and stepmother told me that they're donating their clothes as well and offered to stop by.

[00:01:55] [SPEAKER_01]: Pick our clothes and donate everything together and I agreed.

[00:01:58] [SPEAKER_01]: The day over I had an emergency at work. I left the clothes in two bags by the front door, gave my father the password to our place.

[00:02:06] [SPEAKER_01]: We have a key lock and change the code frequently and asked if he was okay stopping by while I wasn't there.

[00:02:13] [SPEAKER_01]: He agreed but later told me he was busy and his wife would go instead.

[00:02:17] [SPEAKER_01]: Sometime later my stepmother texted me confirming she had gotten the clothes.

[00:02:21] [SPEAKER_01]: When I got back home both bags were still there.

[00:02:25] [SPEAKER_01]: I instantly got confused, I started pondering what clothes my stepmother had picked up which led me to check my kids' closets.

[00:02:33] [SPEAKER_01]: Sure enough half of my daughters clothes were gone as well as about a third of my sons.

[00:02:38] [SPEAKER_01]: I called my father. Thankfully they hadn't taken the donations anywhere yet so I was able to get everything back.

[00:02:45] [SPEAKER_01]: My stepmother explained she couldn't find the bag so she just went to the closets and picked up whatever looked like it wouldn't fit them anymore.

[00:02:51] [SPEAKER_01]: If anyone else had done this I probably wouldn't be this upset.

[00:02:56] [SPEAKER_01]: Sure the bags were right by the door but I've been inattentive before.

[00:03:00] [SPEAKER_01]: It happened but knowing my stepmother did this drives me mad in ways I can't describe.

[00:03:05] [SPEAKER_01]: My relationship with my stepmother has always been bad.

[00:03:09] [SPEAKER_01]: She was emotionally abusive towards me and my little sister when we were young.

[00:03:13] [SPEAKER_01]: I could write a book about the damage she caused but there's one particular part of the abuse that's relevant here.

[00:03:18] [SPEAKER_01]: Early in her relationship with my father she put on some weight.

[00:03:23] [SPEAKER_01]: When she started making efforts to lose it she decided the entire family needs to do so as well.

[00:03:28] [SPEAKER_01]: She told me then a preteen and only slightly overweight and my sister this started when she was five that we were obese.

[00:03:36] [SPEAKER_01]: Caused us both into increasingly restrictive diets and tried to monitor what we ate at our mum's place.

[00:03:42] [SPEAKER_01]: We were too young to understand what was actually going on so my mum didn't realise how abusive the situation was until years later.

[00:03:50] [SPEAKER_01]: From that moment on our contact with our father who joined in on the restrictions most of the time and stepmother was mostly limited.

[00:03:58] [SPEAKER_01]: We both managed to reconcile with our father but the damage had been done.

[00:04:02] [SPEAKER_01]: To this day I have a complicated relationship with food.

[00:04:06] [SPEAKER_01]: Years later my stepmother was diagnosed with BPD.

[00:04:09] [SPEAKER_01]: She's still in therapy and has apologised but I never forgave her and I never will.

[00:04:14] [SPEAKER_01]: I'm cordial with her but only for my father's sake.

[00:04:17] [SPEAKER_01]: She's tried to make comments about my daughter's weight before but me and my husband and sometimes my father always shut her down.

[00:04:24] [SPEAKER_01]: Every time my stepmother buys her clothes they're at least two sizes too big.

[00:04:29] [SPEAKER_01]: We always exchange them.

[00:04:30] [SPEAKER_01]: My daughter is actually small for her age which only makes us more ridiculous.

[00:04:34] [SPEAKER_01]: Looking at the clothes she tried to steal from my kids almost made me weep.

[00:04:39] [SPEAKER_01]: Every single piece was either brand new or just fit them perfectly.

[00:04:43] [SPEAKER_01]: So some of their favourite clothes were there.

[00:04:45] [SPEAKER_01]: As an astronaut onesie my daughter got for her birthday literally two weeks ago that she's obsessed with.

[00:04:52] [SPEAKER_01]: Four of her favourite dresses, some of her costumes, her ballet uniforms and a few shirts she also loves were almost gone forever as well.

[00:05:00] [SPEAKER_01]: She stole less from my son but still took many of his favourites as well.

[00:05:05] [SPEAKER_01]: I'm cutting contact with my stepmother.

[00:05:07] [SPEAKER_01]: My husband agrees with me.

[00:05:08] [SPEAKER_01]: I don't care how much therapy she's done or how much she seems to have improved.

[00:05:13] [SPEAKER_01]: I don't want her anywhere near my family ever again.

[00:05:16] [SPEAKER_01]: This was the last straw.

[00:05:17] [SPEAKER_01]: I refuse to let her damage my children the way she damaged me.

[00:05:21] [SPEAKER_01]: But I don't know how to talk to my father about this.

[00:05:24] [SPEAKER_01]: We both put a lot of effort into our relationship and I don't want to lose whatever we still have.

[00:05:29] [SPEAKER_01]: Now you're not wrong at all for looking out for your children.

[00:05:32] [SPEAKER_01]: You're absolutely going about this the right way.

[00:05:35] [SPEAKER_01]: Of course you want to protect your children from what you went through when you was younger.

[00:05:40] [SPEAKER_01]: How do you approach your father about this?

[00:05:41] [SPEAKER_01]: You tell him exactly what you said here.

[00:05:44] [SPEAKER_01]: And let's not forget, your father was complicit in this as well.

[00:05:48] [SPEAKER_01]: What you went through in your early years, your father allowed this and you said in some cases who joined in on the restrictions most of the time.

[00:05:56] [SPEAKER_01]: Allowing you and your younger sibling to go through abuse, be traumatized by her actions.

[00:06:04] [SPEAKER_01]: And not wanting the same for your children?

[00:06:06] [SPEAKER_01]: No one's going to blame you for that ever.

[00:06:09] [SPEAKER_01]: In the comments, different current seven says she stole from your children.

[00:06:14] [SPEAKER_01]: Hope you've changed the codes so she can never set foot in your home again.

[00:06:18] [SPEAKER_01]: She's proven she can't be trusted.

[00:06:20] [SPEAKER_01]: I'm so sorry you tried to be the better person and keep her in your life but she doesn't deserve you.

[00:06:26] [SPEAKER_01]: She sounds awful.

[00:06:27] [SPEAKER_01]: I'm glad you got the clothes back, especially for onesie.

[00:06:32] [SPEAKER_01]: When will this be over says I'm so sorry for the childhood you had to endure.

[00:06:37] [SPEAKER_01]: She definitely did this on purpose.

[00:06:39] [SPEAKER_01]: Don't even know where to start.

[00:06:41] [SPEAKER_01]: What a horrible woman.

[00:06:42] [SPEAKER_01]: Even without the horrible history what she did was a violation of you and your children.

[00:06:47] [SPEAKER_01]: She doesn't get to enter your home, rummage through your children's clothes and take things that she likes.

[00:06:51] [SPEAKER_01]: This is 2024.

[00:06:53] [SPEAKER_01]: She couldn't find the bags, a total fucking lie.

[00:06:56] [SPEAKER_01]: She could call you or your husband but no, she did it on purpose.

[00:07:00] [SPEAKER_01]: I can't tell you how to talk to your dad but I can tell you for sure that you're in the right.

[00:07:05] [SPEAKER_01]: I'd be very upset too and hurt, especially for your babies.

[00:07:09] [SPEAKER_01]: You're a good mother for trying to protect them from that.

[00:07:11] [SPEAKER_01]: One thing about your dad though is that he failed to protect you as a child and he brought that woman into your life.

[00:07:17] [SPEAKER_01]: His feelings are not your job.

[00:07:19] [SPEAKER_01]: He dug his own grave and he should be held responsible for it.

[00:07:22] [SPEAKER_01]: If he wants to be a part of your life, he has to put the work in.

[00:07:26] [SPEAKER_01]: It's not your job.

[00:07:27] [SPEAKER_01]: I wish you the best and I'm sorry you had to experience this.

[00:07:31] [SPEAKER_01]: Real Nia says you're making the right decision.

[00:07:34] [SPEAKER_01]: Just be honest with your father, explain everything you just told us.

[00:07:37] [SPEAKER_01]: From your trauma to the clothes she knew were your kids' favorites.

[00:07:40] [SPEAKER_01]: Try to stay calm and patient if you can.

[00:07:42] [SPEAKER_01]: It'll probably be hard for him to accept but tell him that you're trying to protect your kids.

[00:07:46] [SPEAKER_01]: That she already hurt you and your sister and you won't let it happen again.

[00:07:50] [SPEAKER_01]: Let him know that she did this on purpose without a doubt.

[00:07:53] [SPEAKER_01]: She get a call to ask where the bags were but instead she not only took clothes from the closet

[00:07:58] [SPEAKER_01]: but chose their new and favorite clothes on purpose.

[00:08:01] [SPEAKER_01]: I hope your response and the only thing I could add here is that

[00:08:04] [SPEAKER_01]: I don't think she knew they were my kids' favorites in my daughter's case.

[00:08:08] [SPEAKER_01]: I think she was just looking for whatever said 6 or 5 on the tags.

[00:08:12] [SPEAKER_01]: My daughter was a preemie and is still a little small for her age

[00:08:15] [SPEAKER_01]: but my stepmother refused to accept that clothes these sizes can fit her.

[00:08:19] [SPEAKER_01]: I also don't think she was invested in stealing from my son

[00:08:22] [SPEAKER_01]: given that she took a much smaller amount of his closet.

[00:08:25] [SPEAKER_01]: The pattern I did notice in his clothes is that she mostly took graphic shirts.

[00:08:29] [SPEAKER_01]: There's one particular shirt.

[00:08:31] [SPEAKER_01]: There's a clown from the movie It on It.

[00:08:33] [SPEAKER_01]: I remember hearing her complain about it in the past.

[00:08:36] [SPEAKER_01]: And yet, she knew what she was doing. She didn't miss those two bags.

[00:08:40] [SPEAKER_01]: She wanted to show that she still has some control

[00:08:43] [SPEAKER_01]: so went to the closet to pick what she wanted to donate.

[00:08:46] [SPEAKER_01]: Don't give her any leniency in this situation.

[00:08:49] [SPEAKER_01]: She knew exactly what she was doing.

[00:08:51] [SPEAKER_01]: OP has one more little bit of information about their past history.

[00:08:54] [SPEAKER_01]: When she was replying to someone who asked what made her think it was okay

[00:08:57] [SPEAKER_01]: OP said my best guess is she thought I wouldn't notice until it was too late.

[00:09:02] [SPEAKER_01]: I have no idea how.

[00:09:03] [SPEAKER_01]: This isn't the first time she's pulled this kind of stunt.

[00:09:06] [SPEAKER_01]: I remember once when I was a kid who went on a road trip to a nearby town.

[00:09:10] [SPEAKER_01]: She removed mine and my sister's bags from the trunk.

[00:09:13] [SPEAKER_01]: And we didn't notice until we got there.

[00:09:15] [SPEAKER_01]: I clearly remembered putting them there.

[00:09:17] [SPEAKER_01]: But she insisted with forgotten them at home.

[00:09:20] [SPEAKER_01]: When she confessed 10 years later, she said she'd done it to teach us a lesson.

[00:09:25] [SPEAKER_01]: That doesn't remember what that lesson was.

[00:09:28] [SPEAKER_01]: So OP came in with her update 10 days later

[00:09:31] [SPEAKER_01]: and said I spoke to my father a few days ago to inform him

[00:09:33] [SPEAKER_01]: that my family would be cut in ties with his wife.

[00:09:36] [SPEAKER_01]: There's not much to say about the conversation itself

[00:09:38] [SPEAKER_01]: but we did have a small fight about it.

[00:09:41] [SPEAKER_01]: From his perspective, I think it was more of an

[00:09:43] [SPEAKER_01]: I'm upset fight than a I think I'm right fight.

[00:09:46] [SPEAKER_01]: So it wasn't too hard to get him on my side.

[00:09:49] [SPEAKER_01]: I'd written a draft of what I wanted to say

[00:09:51] [SPEAKER_01]: but I only used half of it.

[00:09:53] [SPEAKER_01]: I focused on the facts first.

[00:09:55] [SPEAKER_01]: That's usually what worked with my father.

[00:09:58] [SPEAKER_01]: His wife raided my children's closets without permission

[00:10:00] [SPEAKER_01]: and stole clothes they still wore and treasured.

[00:10:03] [SPEAKER_01]: I also sent him a picture of the bags I'd left by the door

[00:10:06] [SPEAKER_01]: which proved she couldn't have walked into my apartment without seeing them.

[00:10:10] [SPEAKER_01]: Another topic I brought up was the way his wife abused me during my youth

[00:10:13] [SPEAKER_01]: and how it seemed traces of that behavior towards my daughter.

[00:10:17] [SPEAKER_01]: Over the years, my stepmother has apologized for how she treated me more than once.

[00:10:22] [SPEAKER_01]: I never bought it.

[00:10:23] [SPEAKER_01]: She would say those things but never changed anything about how she acted.

[00:10:27] [SPEAKER_01]: No amount of therapy education.

[00:10:30] [SPEAKER_01]: I don't think I mentioned this but she's a psychologist.

[00:10:33] [SPEAKER_01]: Oh dear.

[00:10:35] [SPEAKER_01]: Our conversations will ever be enough.

[00:10:38] [SPEAKER_01]: Even if she somehow did change,

[00:10:40] [SPEAKER_01]: she would always be the person who made me spend my entire youth

[00:10:43] [SPEAKER_01]: hating everything about myself.

[00:10:45] [SPEAKER_01]: The only reason I remained civil towards her was because my dad loves her

[00:10:49] [SPEAKER_01]: for whatever reason.

[00:10:51] [SPEAKER_01]: I was fine with her seeing my kids

[00:10:52] [SPEAKER_01]: but because it usually happened in environments I could control

[00:10:55] [SPEAKER_01]: but I never left her alone with them.

[00:10:58] [SPEAKER_01]: Whenever she offered the babysits I made it very clear

[00:11:01] [SPEAKER_01]: that would never happen.

[00:11:02] [SPEAKER_01]: I'd rather drive halfway across the city to leave them with my mother-in-law

[00:11:06] [SPEAKER_01]: than allow my stepmother to tell my daughter she's fat.

[00:11:10] [SPEAKER_01]: I sent pictures of the clothes she tried to steal to my father.

[00:11:13] [SPEAKER_01]: He recognized many of them as pieces my kids had worn weeks prior

[00:11:17] [SPEAKER_01]: as well as ones he'd bought for them.

[00:11:20] [SPEAKER_01]: The ballet uniform stood out.

[00:11:21] [SPEAKER_01]: I still have no idea why she stole that one

[00:11:24] [SPEAKER_01]: but he'd paid for it and insisted it wasn't cheap.

[00:11:27] [SPEAKER_01]: I also included pictures of the tags

[00:11:29] [SPEAKER_01]: while the ones on my son's clothes seemed mostly random

[00:11:32] [SPEAKER_01]: my daughter's read either 5 or 6.

[00:11:35] [SPEAKER_01]: That is her size but my stepmother has always refused to accept that.

[00:11:39] [SPEAKER_01]: Once I told my father all of the above

[00:11:41] [SPEAKER_01]: he agreed that there was no way she'd stolen those clothes by accident

[00:11:45] [SPEAKER_01]: and it was best for me and my family to distance ourselves from her.

[00:11:48] [SPEAKER_01]: I can tell he's hurt by this but it's not me he's upset at.

[00:11:52] [SPEAKER_01]: Even if it was, he knows my kids are my priority

[00:11:55] [SPEAKER_01]: and he can't change my mind on this.

[00:11:57] [SPEAKER_01]: I allowed him to tell his wife.

[00:11:59] [SPEAKER_01]: She's trying to contact me but I've been ignoring her calls and texts.

[00:12:03] [SPEAKER_01]: Before the week is over I decide whether to block her or just keep her on mute.

[00:12:07] [SPEAKER_01]: My children aren't dumb.

[00:12:09] [SPEAKER_01]: They will notice her absence but I don't think they care much

[00:12:12] [SPEAKER_01]: as they were never close with her.

[00:12:14] [SPEAKER_01]: She tried to play a grandma role with them

[00:12:17] [SPEAKER_01]: mostly just trying to push them to call her that but it never worked.

[00:12:21] [SPEAKER_01]: It's great to know my kids won't miss her.

[00:12:23] [SPEAKER_01]: My husband and I are trying for a third and last

[00:12:27] [SPEAKER_01]: and I'm glad they'll never even meet her.

[00:12:29] [SPEAKER_01]: I'm still very upset

[00:12:31] [SPEAKER_01]: and as much as I've always known she would never change.

[00:12:34] [SPEAKER_01]: Healing from my children was something I could never imagine she'd do

[00:12:37] [SPEAKER_01]: but I am much better than I was last week

[00:12:40] [SPEAKER_01]: which is enough for now.

[00:12:42] [SPEAKER_01]: Thank you for all the love and advice.

[00:12:45] [SPEAKER_01]: One of the comments on the back of this suggested that

[00:12:47] [SPEAKER_01]: OP's father is a champ.

[00:12:51] [SPEAKER_01]: OP responded saying not at all

[00:12:53] [SPEAKER_01]: I love him but he screwed up a lot in my life

[00:12:55] [SPEAKER_01]: as evident as it is that he changed

[00:12:58] [SPEAKER_01]: and wants to put effort into our relationship

[00:13:00] [SPEAKER_01]: talking to him about these things is still difficult

[00:13:02] [SPEAKER_01]: this could have been a much bigger fight

[00:13:04] [SPEAKER_01]: I'm really glad he took my side.

[00:13:08] [SPEAKER_01]: Absolutely like I said in the previous post

[00:13:10] [SPEAKER_01]: he's complicit in this and I'm glad OP did

[00:13:14] [SPEAKER_01]: cut her out of their life you don't need that shit

[00:13:17] [SPEAKER_01]: and I'm wondering how much the father is siding with the daughter in this

[00:13:20] [SPEAKER_01]: because immediately you know stepmother's trying to call OP up

[00:13:25] [SPEAKER_01]: I mean I wouldn't be with that person anyway

[00:13:27] [SPEAKER_01]: but he should be stopping her from calling OP

[00:13:30] [SPEAKER_01]: she's already said she wants nothing to do with her anymore

[00:13:33] [SPEAKER_01]: she might be doing it in secret sure

[00:13:35] [SPEAKER_01]: but regardless I wouldn't even stay with that person

[00:13:37] [SPEAKER_01]: she's abused his kids there's already signs of it

[00:13:40] [SPEAKER_01]: doing it to the grandchildren at the same time as well

[00:13:43] [SPEAKER_01]: so that's shit.

[00:13:44] [SPEAKER_01]: What do you guys make of this situation?

[00:13:47] [SPEAKER_01]: Let me know your thoughts down in the comments below

[00:13:50] [SPEAKER_01]: and let's move on to another story

[00:13:54] [SPEAKER_01]: Now our next story comes from Throwaway Future

[00:13:56] [SPEAKER_01]: who says an IVR so for telling my brother's fiancé

[00:13:59] [SPEAKER_01]: that my only obligation towards her is to treat her with respect

[00:14:04] [SPEAKER_01]: My 26 female brother James 27 male

[00:14:08] [SPEAKER_01]: recently got engaged to his fiancé Laura 32 female

[00:14:12] [SPEAKER_01]: My brother and I have always been super close

[00:14:14] [SPEAKER_01]: throughout the years he had many girlfriends

[00:14:16] [SPEAKER_01]: and had generally made it a point to get along with them

[00:14:19] [SPEAKER_01]: I like the vast majority of them so that task wasn't that hard

[00:14:23] [SPEAKER_01]: had good and close relationships with most of them

[00:14:26] [SPEAKER_01]: while they were still dating James

[00:14:28] [SPEAKER_01]: and remained in close contact with two even after their breakup

[00:14:31] [SPEAKER_01]: with James's permission of course

[00:14:33] [SPEAKER_01]: one being his high school girlfriend Diane 29 female

[00:14:37] [SPEAKER_01]: and the second one being his baby mom Sophie 29 female

[00:14:41] [SPEAKER_01]: when James started dating Laura two years ago

[00:14:44] [SPEAKER_01]: I also tried to get close to her

[00:14:46] [SPEAKER_01]: but I just couldn't bring myself to befriend her

[00:14:49] [SPEAKER_01]: Laura and I are completely different people

[00:14:51] [SPEAKER_01]: have little to nothing in common

[00:14:53] [SPEAKER_01]: she isn't a bad person by any means

[00:14:56] [SPEAKER_01]: but just not someone I would want to hang out with

[00:14:58] [SPEAKER_01]: or talk to on a day-to-day basis

[00:15:00] [SPEAKER_01]: at the end of the day she made James happy

[00:15:03] [SPEAKER_01]: and was a decent stepmom to my nephew Rio for male

[00:15:08] [SPEAKER_01]: don't me liking her as a person wasn't really important

[00:15:11] [SPEAKER_01]: I also had little to no interactions with her

[00:15:13] [SPEAKER_01]: since whenever I visited James at their apartment

[00:15:16] [SPEAKER_01]: she would claim she was too busy to hang out with us

[00:15:19] [SPEAKER_01]: though I would mostly only see her during family reunions

[00:15:22] [SPEAKER_01]: slash holidays

[00:15:24] [SPEAKER_01]: after they got engaged Laura asked me to be a bridesmaid

[00:15:27] [SPEAKER_01]: I refuse since I already had a part in the wedding

[00:15:29] [SPEAKER_01]: as the groom's sister

[00:15:31] [SPEAKER_01]: I was happy with my current position

[00:15:33] [SPEAKER_01]: and didn't feel like spending thousands to go on a bachelorette trip

[00:15:36] [SPEAKER_01]: where I don't know anyone

[00:15:38] [SPEAKER_01]: last month James' ex Diane also got engaged

[00:15:41] [SPEAKER_01]: and asked me to be a maid of honor

[00:15:43] [SPEAKER_01]: I agreed since Diane has been a close friend of mine for years

[00:15:46] [SPEAKER_01]: and I was honored that she wanted me to have such an important role in her wedding

[00:15:51] [SPEAKER_01]: when Laura heard about this

[00:15:52] [SPEAKER_01]: she called me saying that I was really immature

[00:15:55] [SPEAKER_01]: for rejecting her request to be a bridesmaid

[00:15:57] [SPEAKER_01]: but agreeing to be Diane's maid of honor

[00:16:00] [SPEAKER_01]: I told her that Diane was my childhood friend

[00:16:02] [SPEAKER_01]: so it was different

[00:16:03] [SPEAKER_01]: Laura then began to interrogate me

[00:16:05] [SPEAKER_01]: and asked if Diane and James were the ones getting married

[00:16:08] [SPEAKER_01]: where I also refused her request

[00:16:10] [SPEAKER_01]: and be content with only being the groom's sister in the wedding party

[00:16:13] [SPEAKER_01]: I told her that situation was irrelevant

[00:16:16] [SPEAKER_01]: since it had never happened

[00:16:18] [SPEAKER_01]: Laura continued to bombard me with questions

[00:16:20] [SPEAKER_01]: before I finally told her

[00:16:22] [SPEAKER_01]: that as her future sister-in-law

[00:16:24] [SPEAKER_01]: my only obligation towards her is to treat her with respect

[00:16:27] [SPEAKER_01]: and I'm already doing that

[00:16:29] [SPEAKER_01]: so I don't understand what more she can want from me

[00:16:31] [SPEAKER_01]: after hearing that Laura ended the call and blocked my number

[00:16:35] [SPEAKER_01]: her friends are now harassing me

[00:16:37] [SPEAKER_01]: and telling me how awful I am for saying that to Laura

[00:16:39] [SPEAKER_01]: I'm genuinely confused since I don't think I said anything remotely awful

[00:16:44] [SPEAKER_01]: or offensive

[00:16:45] [SPEAKER_01]: but I might be missing something

[00:16:46] [SPEAKER_01]: and I, the arsehole

[00:16:49] [SPEAKER_01]: now I understand having your friends back etc

[00:16:52] [SPEAKER_01]: but who are these people that like immediately start harassing the other person

[00:16:56] [SPEAKER_01]: I always find that particularly wild

[00:16:58] [SPEAKER_01]: but I see scratch says honestly

[00:17:00] [SPEAKER_01]: it is a big slap to her face

[00:17:02] [SPEAKER_01]: one you refuse her invitation to be a bridesmaid

[00:17:05] [SPEAKER_01]: she could have given that spot to one of her girlfriends

[00:17:08] [SPEAKER_01]: but she chose you to likely become closer

[00:17:10] [SPEAKER_01]: the reaction was a pretty big F you

[00:17:13] [SPEAKER_01]: and basically saying you don't want to be close to her

[00:17:16] [SPEAKER_01]: and be a part of a friend circle

[00:17:17] [SPEAKER_01]: two you turn around and happily accept this ex's invitation

[00:17:22] [SPEAKER_01]: how is she to see that

[00:17:23] [SPEAKER_01]: that he wished she had married Diane

[00:17:25] [SPEAKER_01]: that you are willing to spend money to be Diane's bridesmaid

[00:17:28] [SPEAKER_01]: and not hers

[00:17:28] [SPEAKER_01]: she essentially told her you don't want to be close to her

[00:17:32] [SPEAKER_01]: after she reached out for you guys to be closer

[00:17:35] [SPEAKER_01]: why are you surprised that she has now blocked you out

[00:17:38] [SPEAKER_01]: love on the brain says everyone sucks you

[00:17:40] [SPEAKER_01]: okay for me it's weird that you won't be a bridesmaid

[00:17:43] [SPEAKER_01]: in your own brother's wedding

[00:17:44] [SPEAKER_01]: for me, as the fiance of my future sister-in-law

[00:17:47] [SPEAKER_01]: didn't want to be a bridesmaid in her own brother's wedding

[00:17:50] [SPEAKER_01]: when they were really close

[00:17:51] [SPEAKER_01]: it would make me feel like she really doesn't like me or something

[00:17:54] [SPEAKER_01]: but if I was chronically online I would feel weird about it

[00:17:56] [SPEAKER_01]: because there seems to be a trend on Reddit

[00:17:58] [SPEAKER_01]: where mothers and sisters of the groom are fine with girlfriends

[00:18:01] [SPEAKER_01]: but when one is close to being a wife they get mean

[00:18:05] [SPEAKER_01]: but at the same time she can't force you to be in their wedding

[00:18:07] [SPEAKER_01]: why bully someone who would probably bring them down

[00:18:11] [SPEAKER_01]: doesn't make sense on her part

[00:18:12] [SPEAKER_01]: teeny sod says, OP not the arsehole

[00:18:15] [SPEAKER_01]: if you feel able and once things have calmed down

[00:18:18] [SPEAKER_01]: it might be worth having a chat to your brother about this

[00:18:20] [SPEAKER_01]: I think you provided a remarkably clear and fair background

[00:18:24] [SPEAKER_01]: Laura being a good step

[00:18:26] [SPEAKER_01]: and making your brother happy

[00:18:27] [SPEAKER_01]: just not your kind of person to be BFF

[00:18:31] [SPEAKER_01]: Laura's friends obviously only have her side of the story

[00:18:34] [SPEAKER_01]: it's perfectly reasonable if you choose who you want to invest

[00:18:36] [SPEAKER_01]: significant amounts of money and time into

[00:18:38] [SPEAKER_01]: and not reasonable for Laura to expect it should be her

[00:18:42] [SPEAKER_01]: seriously, this channel should be required reading

[00:18:45] [SPEAKER_01]: for anyone contemplating getting married

[00:18:47] [SPEAKER_01]: what is it with weddings and entitlements?

[00:18:49] [SPEAKER_01]: shake my head

[00:18:51] [SPEAKER_01]: every other post seems to be

[00:18:53] [SPEAKER_01]: I'm getting married, you have to do whatever I want

[00:18:56] [SPEAKER_01]: or you're getting married, here's my demands for the wedding

[00:18:59] [SPEAKER_01]: you know head forever says you are not the arsehole

[00:19:01] [SPEAKER_01]: Laura has made zero effort to connect with you

[00:19:04] [SPEAKER_01]: now she's upset that you don't want to serve her in her wedding

[00:19:06] [SPEAKER_01]: that's pretty ridiculous and tells me she only wanted you there for show

[00:19:10] [SPEAKER_01]: quote, her friends are now harassing me and telling me

[00:19:13] [SPEAKER_01]: how awful I am for saying that to Laura

[00:19:15] [SPEAKER_01]: then says pretty immature of her to send her flying monkeys after you

[00:19:20] [SPEAKER_01]: she obviously has enough people to choose as a briser maid

[00:19:23] [SPEAKER_01]: so this is more about you being close to Diana and refusing to pretend you are close to her

[00:19:27] [SPEAKER_01]: good luck to your brother, he's in for a bumpy ride

[00:19:31] [SPEAKER_01]: so OP updated the post and said

[00:19:34] [SPEAKER_01]: I decided to call James just like some of you suggested

[00:19:37] [SPEAKER_01]: explained to him the entire situation with Laura

[00:19:40] [SPEAKER_01]: and sent him screenshots of the text her friends kept sending me

[00:19:42] [SPEAKER_01]: I'm surprised since Laura never mentioned it and said

[00:19:45] [SPEAKER_01]: he'd get back to me, instead of calling me back James

[00:19:48] [SPEAKER_01]: showed up at my apartment an hour ago

[00:19:50] [SPEAKER_01]: he told me he talked with Laura about the entire situation

[00:19:53] [SPEAKER_01]: and finally understood what made her act that way

[00:19:56] [SPEAKER_01]: turns out when James' friend group held a get together last month

[00:20:00] [SPEAKER_01]: some of his childhood friends were reminiscing and mentioned

[00:20:03] [SPEAKER_01]: how they always thought James and Diana would get back together

[00:20:06] [SPEAKER_01]: eventually and how was odd they are both now engaged to different people

[00:20:09] [SPEAKER_01]: another friend also mentioned how James and Diana were clearly a better fit

[00:20:13] [SPEAKER_01]: and tried to prove his point by pointing out

[00:20:15] [SPEAKER_01]: how I like Diana better than Laura

[00:20:17] [SPEAKER_01]: and since I'm basically the female version of my brother

[00:20:20] [SPEAKER_01]: that must count for something

[00:20:22] [SPEAKER_01]: apparently while James was completely unaware that this conversation happened

[00:20:26] [SPEAKER_01]: Laura overheard the entire thing

[00:20:29] [SPEAKER_01]: instead of telling James what she overheard

[00:20:31] [SPEAKER_01]: Laura fixated on what those friends said

[00:20:34] [SPEAKER_01]: and tried to use my approval like some sort of weird competition

[00:20:37] [SPEAKER_01]: to prove she was better than Diane

[00:20:39] [SPEAKER_01]: so when I agreed to be Diane's maid of honour

[00:20:42] [SPEAKER_01]: after I refused to be a bridesmaid

[00:20:44] [SPEAKER_01]: she kind of spiralled and tried to use her friends to pressure me

[00:20:48] [SPEAKER_01]: that make me feel bad for not joining a bridal party

[00:20:51] [SPEAKER_01]: although James understands what led Laura to act this way

[00:20:54] [SPEAKER_01]: he is mad at her since she went about it in the worst way possible

[00:20:57] [SPEAKER_01]: and this entire situation could have been avoided

[00:20:59] [SPEAKER_01]: had she communicated with him like an adult

[00:21:02] [SPEAKER_01]: he told Laura that he needs some time alone to process what went on

[00:21:06] [SPEAKER_01]: so he'd be sleeping in my apartment tonight

[00:21:08] [SPEAKER_01]: and meeting her tomorrow morning

[00:21:09] [SPEAKER_01]: by the way I ended up showing him this post

[00:21:12] [SPEAKER_01]: and he said that as far as he's concerned

[00:21:14] [SPEAKER_01]: I'm in the clear

[00:21:15] [SPEAKER_01]: but he did call me an idiot for not calling him earlier

[00:21:18] [SPEAKER_01]: instead of sharing what went on with strangers on the internet

[00:21:23] [SPEAKER_01]: interesting

[00:21:23] [SPEAKER_01]: but now I'm going to turn this one to you guys

[00:21:27] [SPEAKER_01]: what do you guys make of this one

[00:21:29] [SPEAKER_01]: let us know your thoughts down in the comments below

[00:21:32] [SPEAKER_01]: just a huge thank you from the bottom of my heart

[00:21:34] [SPEAKER_01]: for getting involved in today's stories

[00:21:36] [SPEAKER_01]: your love, your support, your time

[00:21:38] [SPEAKER_01]: always means the absolute world to me

[00:21:40] [SPEAKER_01]: so thank you so so much for being involved as always

[00:21:42] [SPEAKER_01]: you are truly appreciated

[00:21:44] [SPEAKER_01]: and hopefully I see you in the next one

[00:21:47] [SPEAKER_01]: take care and much love

[00:22:33] [SPEAKER_00]: just throw the disc into the trash

[00:22:35] [SPEAKER_00]: and the rest, that's your washing machine

[00:22:38] [SPEAKER_00]: because you always give your best

[00:22:40] [SPEAKER_00]: try now the best discs from Perzille

[00:22:43] [SPEAKER_00]: keep in touch with children