My Sister Tried To Test Me With HER HUSBAND, She's Now Twisted Everything r/Relationships

[00:00:03] Hey Waffle Gang, I do hope you're well. My name is Mark and today we're checking out some more Reddit stories. And if you do love a Reddit story, why not consider hitting that like, subscribe, maybe that notification bell too. Now let's crack on with today's first story. Much love guys.

[00:00:20] Today's story is from a throwaway account, it's from the relationship advice subreddit, started in September 2023. It's had three additional updates that's gone into this month 2024 as well. It's from a throwaway account that's titled,

[00:00:35] My mother tried to trick me, female 26, into joining my sister, female 31 for dinner, after she tested me around her husband, male 31.

[00:00:45] This is actually crazy, and there's going to be lots of details so please bear with me. My sister recently got married. It's been about three to four months. I didn't really see much of them after the wedding, honeymoon and then back to work. But once a month our family gets together and my parents got a huge feast. Since this took place a week ago, it was for the month of August.

[00:01:06] During this dinner, my brother-in-law was being extremely weird towards me. He was complimenting my body, ignoring my sister and just straight up acting strange. It was completely unexpected for several reasons. One being his wife was sitting right next to me. Two, he's only been married a few months. Also, he's just never spoken to slash about me like that before.

[00:01:29] I felt really uncomfortable, and I'm sure it transpired to the rest of the room because what the fuck? Except it was weird because nobody was pointing anything out. I was extremely confused and just wanted to leave. I left early but when I got home I just felt so icky. I don't even know how to describe it.

[00:01:47] I decided to message my sister and let her know his behavior made me uncomfortable. I told her that it was also concerning he felt comfortable enough to say these things in front of my parents and brother. I explained that if she didn't feel comfortable being in the middle, I wouldn't mind explaining this to him myself. His behavior was so unnerving that I FaceTimed my boyfriend who was away for work in the US. I told him it was weird and how suddenly my brother-in-law's behavior towards me went from that of siblings to this horribly uncomfortable situation.

[00:02:17] He was pissed, rightfully so. My sister didn't respond to my text until the next day. She asked to meet up, so I did. I was expecting her to be upset and to have him apologize for what he said. Instead, she admits it was all a test and I passed. I was confused to say the least. What did she mean by a test? Passed? Like, what's going on? Turns out she had her husband do those things on purpose because she wanted to see how I would react if he had said those things to me and meant them.

[00:02:47] My reaction and choice to message her afterwards told her I could be trusted around him. I was offended to say the least. Why would she think I couldn't be trusted? Well, let me tell you the, in my opinion, not very valid reason for this lack of trust.

[00:04:02] I didn't want to know what he was doing with it when I found out, but I was so disgusted and confused. Someone I thought was my friend was actually just a perv. He admitted he had never really loved my sister and was just using her to get to me.

[00:04:14] I was just so creeped out and I pressed charges against him for his sickening behavior. I was able to get a restraining order and my sister divorced him almost instantly after finding out.

[00:04:25] She used something traumatic that happened to me and flipped it to make it seem like I'm the one who was untrustworthy.

[00:04:31] She claimed I must have strung him along for him to think like that and that this test was just to prove I wasn't doing it again.

[00:04:38] Safe to say I was extremely hurt and angry by her response so I told her to never speak or contact me again if that's what she really thought of me.

[00:04:46] My family found out and for the most part agree her behavior is crazy.

[00:04:49] But my mother stood by her actions and said my sister was just trying to protect herself from being hurt again.

[00:04:55] I told her if she had just been honest with me from the start, I wouldn't have been as bothered.

[00:05:00] There's a right way to approach things in a wrong way. This isn't just wrong, it's also crazy.

[00:05:05] Why is she so adamant it's my life goal to hurt her?

[00:05:09] I didn't know that our ex was going to turn out like that so why am I being punished?

[00:05:13] She claimed I should have just had some indication he liked me but he really made it seem like he was head over heels for my sister.

[00:05:21] How am I supposed to know what's going on in someone else's mind?

[00:05:25] Anyway, the family dinner was earlier for this month as it was the most compatible date for everyone's schedules.

[00:05:30] Yesterday, I told my parents to expect me not to show up if my sister and brother-in-law were going.

[00:05:36] It wasn't even because I refused to ever speak to her again.

[00:05:38] I just said that because the situation was so fresh.

[00:05:42] I told my mother I would apologize when I had cooled down a little.

[00:05:45] It was just difficult to face them when they had made me feel like a horrible person for a situation that was out of my control.

[00:05:52] My mother assured me my sister wouldn't attend so I agreed to come.

[00:05:57] When I arrived, they were both there.

[00:05:59] It felt like an ambush and it sort of was.

[00:06:02] My sister demanded I apologize for my reaction because it was my own fault it happened in the first place.

[00:06:08] I can't lie.

[00:06:09] I snapped.

[00:06:09] I told her she should remove my number and the title of being my sister if she really felt that way.

[00:06:14] I just need advice because therapy isn't scheduled for another two weeks and I just feel like I just dreamt the soap opera storyline.

[00:06:22] I kind of feel bad because I do understand my sister had a trust broken completely by her ex.

[00:06:27] But I feel like that this trust shouldn't be aimed at me.

[00:06:30] By the person who actually caused it.

[00:06:32] And I was the one who introduced her to the a-hole in the first place so I feel guilty for that already.

[00:06:38] But I'm failing to see how her schemes to manipulate me into thinking she's being wronged by her husband once again.

[00:06:43] It's just far too extreme.

[00:06:45] I want to apologize to her for one reason.

[00:06:48] Ever introducing that man to her.

[00:06:50] I really needed to see that I wasn't trying anything when her ex was stealing my underwear.

[00:06:55] I was just as in the dark as her.

[00:06:57] How do I go about doing the above because I want to put this behind me and move on.

[00:07:01] I was just about healing from her former marriage and now this one is putting me in a very uncomfortable position.

[00:07:07] With my sister, my brother-in-law and my own mother.

[00:07:11] Any advice on how to tackle apologizing?

[00:07:13] Getting my sister's trust back and showing her I truly just want what's best for her.

[00:07:17] P.S. Apologies for the spelling and grammar mistakes.

[00:07:20] It's 2am and I usually sleep around 10pm.

[00:07:23] It's possible that parts of this won't make sense so I'm more than happy to try and make things easier to understand in the comments.

[00:07:29] I'm just so tired that my brain is working at up to 10% right now.

[00:07:34] Now, we'll cover the weird ex-husband in a second but I was thinking about this current husband.

[00:07:41] Obviously sister's totally in the wrong here.

[00:07:43] But I was thinking about this current husband who was willing to go along with her plan at the same time.

[00:07:49] Like, she told him this plan and what to do.

[00:07:52] And he was like, yeah, okay, let's do that.

[00:07:54] Like, what the fuck?

[00:07:55] You've got nothing to apologize for.

[00:07:57] I don't think you should be saying sorry in this situation at all.

[00:08:00] I don't think you've done anything.

[00:08:02] You haven't done anything.

[00:08:04] But it's all mine now, says you have nothing to apologize for.

[00:08:07] Stop accepting the blame for something you had no part in other than being the victim.

[00:08:11] Your sister's ex was stalking you and she was caught in the crossfire.

[00:08:15] And all this shit with her new husband.

[00:08:16] They had nothing to apologize for there either.

[00:08:18] Honestly, your sister and your mom are crazy.

[00:08:21] They're blaming you for the fact that your sister came into contact with a crazy person stalking you and fell for him.

[00:08:27] And to absolve her of all the blame for not realizing what was going on.

[00:08:30] It's all become your fault.

[00:08:33] Do not apologize.

[00:08:35] Do not make compromises with them.

[00:08:37] Your sister is a horrible, disrespectful piece of shit.

[00:08:40] And I would cut all contact with her until she makes some kind of apology and contrition.

[00:08:44] You are being painted as the bad guy because something happened to you.

[00:08:48] Personally, I would remove myself from both their lives until they either see the light or they would not see me again.

[00:08:54] You don't need your sister's trust back.

[00:08:57] She literally played you with some weird fake ass test to prove you were honest.

[00:09:01] Or you had never been dishonest in the first place.

[00:09:04] Fuck those people.

[00:09:06] Get angry.

[00:09:07] You're being disrespected in this as much as you were disrespected by that horrible prick she married.

[00:09:12] The fact that the other two went along with this paints them as being bad as she is.

[00:09:16] I could not sit in the room with these three awful fucking simulacrums.

[00:09:20] New word there for me.

[00:09:22] Of human beings for a moment without some major apologizing and ass kissing.

[00:09:26] And even then, I would most likely never be able to speak civilly to them again.

[00:09:31] Another commenter says honestly the behavior of the new husband.

[00:09:34] Edit.

[00:09:34] Not just the disrespect.

[00:09:36] Is quite concerning too.

[00:09:37] So he was okay to play the creepy brother-in-law with you.

[00:09:40] It indicates that this type of behavior is quite okay for him.

[00:09:44] Perhaps he even liked it.

[00:09:46] Your sister is so needy.

[00:09:47] She's willing to marry anyone.

[00:09:49] If my sister was living with me and her underwears was missing, I would investigate it seriously.

[00:09:53] She knew and was okay to close her eyes as long as you didn't make it public.

[00:09:58] Now she wants you to take the blame.

[00:10:00] Her and her husband are the issue.

[00:10:02] Opie comes in with an update and says a lot has happened in the last couple of days.

[00:10:06] I've tried to read all the comments and taken everyone's advice.

[00:10:10] This has been the outcome.

[00:10:11] I lost a sister and mother in two days.

[00:10:14] It's heartbreaking more than anything.

[00:10:16] I had a meetup with everyone.

[00:10:17] My boyfriend came with me so I had support during the conversation.

[00:10:21] Honestly, it was hard to look at any of them for the way they treated me.

[00:10:24] I'm so thankful to everyone for opening my eyes to the crazy behavior exhibited in the first part of this story.

[00:10:30] In front of everyone, my mother admitted to knowing about the plans from the start.

[00:10:34] Sister confided in her and she agreed it was a good idea.

[00:10:37] She supported her son-in-law openly harassing her daughter.

[00:10:41] I'm in complete shock and it just hurts so much knowing she would condone this considering she knew how much I was affected by the first husband.

[00:10:49] She knew I was having a difficult time in therapy.

[00:10:51] It took me a long time to trust people again after that.

[00:10:54] And I feel like once again, my trust has been broken.

[00:10:57] I don't know how I'm ever going to trust anyone again.

[00:11:00] I'm really thankful my boyfriend was there to comfort me because it was so hard keeping my composure around them.

[00:11:06] My sister was not budging at all.

[00:11:08] She kept maintaining that she was in the right.

[00:11:10] She said the only reason I wouldn't apologize is because deep down, I knew what our ex was like.

[00:11:15] She said I just liked getting attention from him knowing he was married to my sister.

[00:11:20] She also claimed I overreacted and if it's acting, then it's not harassment.

[00:11:24] I told her she shouldn't expect any calls or texts or not to be contacted me until I receive the apology I deserve from both her and my brother-in-law.

[00:11:32] Speaking of, he was pretty silent throughout the whole thing.

[00:11:35] Probably because my father threatened his life if he spoke bad about me.

[00:11:39] Probably because my father threatened his life if he spoke bad about me.

[00:11:43] He did say that the only reason he did it was to placate my sister because she kept accusing him of ogling me.

[00:11:49] But still no apology from him.

[00:11:51] My mother, this one broke my heart the most.

[00:11:54] She told me I was over-exaggerating and that I should be happy to have passed my sister's test.

[00:11:59] She actually said the words, we can all move on now.

[00:12:01] I was in complete awe to be honest.

[00:12:04] How could she think that things would go back to normal after this?

[00:12:07] I asked why she was supporting such delusional behavior.

[00:12:10] She said it was because she loved my sister and wanted her to be happy.

[00:12:14] I asked her if she loved me as much as my sister.

[00:12:16] She said yes.

[00:12:17] It seemed hesitant but I don't want to read too much into that.

[00:12:21] I told her I wanted an apology for her schemes.

[00:12:23] She refused so I gave her the same conditions I gave my sister and brother-in-law.

[00:12:27] Until I get an apology I simply am not speaking to all three of them.

[00:12:31] As a result, I probably have to go low contact with my brother and dad because they both live with my mother.

[00:12:36] I mean, I'll hang out with them outside and without the presence of my mother.

[00:12:40] But if she'll let them...

[00:12:42] But if she'll let them...

[00:12:43] But if she'll let them is the question.

[00:12:45] I know some of you have suggested spending time with my boyfriend's family on holidays and occasions.

[00:12:50] I think it was just one person but oh well.

[00:12:53] I haven't met my boyfriend's family before because they live in the US.

[00:12:57] But after this situation I've taken two weeks paid holiday for the end of this month.

[00:13:01] And he's taking me to meet them for the first time.

[00:13:03] I hope it goes well because they might be the only family I have now.

[00:13:07] My therapy session has been moved to tomorrow because I requested an emergency appointment.

[00:13:12] Wish me luck.

[00:13:14] Anyway, my biggest thanks goes to all you Redditors for helping me see the situation for what it was.

[00:13:19] For your advice and compassion I'm really grateful.

[00:13:22] I don't think I would have been able to get through this on my own.

[00:13:25] Just likely I would have called and apologized just for the pattern to repeat itself.

[00:13:29] Truly, thank you so much.

[00:13:31] Wishing you all the best and I hope you know that your advice might have just saved me from my need to always please others.

[00:13:37] I look back on this moment anytime I feel like putting someone else's feelings above my own comfort.

[00:13:42] Hope your hearts are filled with love and happiness.

[00:13:45] Layla

[00:13:45] P.S. Again, apologies for the speller and grammar mistakes.

[00:13:48] It's part of my bedtime but I felt like I owed you all an update.

[00:13:52] LoveLogic says

[00:13:53] Never saw the original post until now but wow, good for you OP.

[00:13:57] Absolutely would not have anything to do with either of them until they recognized the behavior was unacceptable as well.

[00:14:02] Also can't say I have very much faith in your sister's new marriage if she finds this acceptable.

[00:14:07] Regardless, glad you made a decision you're at peace with.

[00:14:11] I hope he says thank you.

[00:14:12] It was a difficult decision.

[00:14:13] Our culture is centered around family which is why we would get together as much as possible.

[00:14:18] It's going to be strange not seeing them as often but my memories with them have been tainted by this horrible experience.

[00:14:25] Another commenter says

[00:14:25] I'm proud of you.

[00:14:26] You did the right thing and I know it wasn't easy.

[00:14:30] I hope your trip to the US goes well.

[00:14:32] Another thing to think about is it's not bad if you don't have family get-togethers at holidays.

[00:14:37] You and your boyfriend are a family and you can build new traditions together.

[00:14:41] OP says thank you and I love the idea of creating new traditions with my boyfriend.

[00:14:45] Especially because we have lots of friends and I've always loved the idea of hosting a huge party with them all.

[00:14:51] So nine months later OP's next update comes in and says

[00:14:55] Posted this on my profile instead because a few people have requested an update.

[00:14:59] To be honest there hasn't been much to update on in that particular situation.

[00:15:03] I'm in contact with my mum now since the incident because she apologized.

[00:15:08] My sister and I still do not speak.

[00:15:10] From what I know she's still married to my brother-in-law and I think they're expecting.

[00:15:14] Something I inferred from Family Friends Facebook post.

[00:15:18] I'm doing a lot better though.

[00:15:19] I've been closer with my dad and brother throughout everything.

[00:15:23] My relationship with my mother is more strained now.

[00:15:25] I feel like I can't trust her even though she apologized.

[00:15:29] I don't think we'll ever be as close as we were before my sister's schemes.

[00:15:33] My relationship is going really well too.

[00:15:36] He was asking about rings so I'm thinking proposal might be in my future.

[00:15:40] Also his parents are just the best.

[00:15:42] They sort of taken me in and it's so cute how they dote on me like I'm their daughter.

[00:15:46] This whole family is just incredibly supportive and uplifting.

[00:15:49] We're going to visit them again in July.

[00:15:51] I'm so excited to go back.

[00:15:53] I love it in the US.

[00:15:55] The weather is better, the people are nicer and of course I get to see where my man grew up.

[00:15:59] I just feel so much lighter and happier now that I've put what my ex-brother-in-law and

[00:16:03] current brother-in-law have put me through behind me.

[00:16:06] I will wish her the best with her pregnancy but that's all I can do since she's still

[00:16:10] refusing to apologize.

[00:16:11] This probably wasn't the update you were looking for but it's all I can give at this moment.

[00:16:16] Hope you're having a wonderful day and better summer than I'm having.

[00:16:19] Three months later, Opie comes in with what they title their final ever update.

[00:16:24] I'm done with them forever.

[00:16:25] This is probably the hardest thing I've ever had to admit to myself.

[00:16:29] I wish it didn't have to come to this but unfortunately I think it's the only way I

[00:16:33] will ever get to live a normal life again.

[00:16:35] My sister has been telling our family members an entirely warped version of events.

[00:16:39] I only found out when I sent out Save the Dates.

[00:16:42] I got a call from an aunt telling me I was brave for inviting all these people after ruining

[00:16:46] my sister's life.

[00:16:48] I was so confused so I asked her what she meant.

[00:16:50] She elaborated a little by saying that I was wrong for trying to seduce both my sister's

[00:16:55] husband and that my fiancé was an idiot for supporting me.

[00:16:58] I laughed out of astonishment, not amusement.

[00:17:01] First I told her to watch what she has to say about my soon-to-be husband.

[00:17:05] He's the only support I've had during this horrible moment in my life.

[00:17:08] Then I told her what truly went down.

[00:17:10] She was shocked and didn't believe me.

[00:17:12] I told her she could easily go to my parents and brother to confirm it.

[00:17:16] Well, she informed me that my mother already confirmed things for her.

[00:17:20] I was so pissed off.

[00:17:22] Words can't describe the anger that I felt in that moment.

[00:17:25] It was like everything I had gone through in the past few years had all piled up and

[00:17:29] I couldn't take it anymore.

[00:17:30] I just hung up the phone.

[00:17:32] I rang my mother who was begging for my forgiveness a few months ago.

[00:17:36] I told her I was done.

[00:17:37] She supported my delusional sister and her crazy schemes and I forgave her.

[00:17:41] Out of the goodness of my heart, I chose to put that shit behind me so I didn't lose

[00:17:45] my mother.

[00:17:46] But she went behind my back and sided with my sister in front of our extended family.

[00:17:50] She made everyone think I was callous enough to seduce my own brother-in-laws.

[00:17:55] She allowed people to spread lies about her own daughter.

[00:17:58] I told her I'd never want to see or speak to her again.

[00:18:02] I called my brother and asked him if he knew any of this had been happening.

[00:18:05] Thankfully, he didn't.

[00:18:07] Neither did my dad.

[00:18:07] I then wrote a letter to my sister.

[00:18:10] The details of the letter held four main points.

[00:18:13] But I was deeply sorry for everything she had been through.

[00:18:16] It did not mean I understood or forgave her actions but I was apologetic for how things

[00:18:20] turned out.

[00:18:21] She needed to seek help for what my former brother-in-law put her through.

[00:18:25] I was stunned by the fact that she could lie about what happened to everyone and get away

[00:18:29] with it.

[00:18:30] She had truly lost the right to call herself my sister from that point on.

[00:18:35] I wished her the very best in life but I never wanted to see or hear from her ever again.

[00:18:40] She's caused me far too much pain to the point I'll never be able to forgive her.

[00:18:44] I'll never speak to, reach out or even entertain the idea of reconciling with my mother or sister

[00:18:50] again.

[00:18:51] It is up to my father and brother whether they choose to associate with them but for me,

[00:18:56] everything is too unfixable.

[00:18:58] The lies have stacked up so much that there isn't a pair of scissors sharp enough to cut through.

[00:19:03] My fiance and I have decided that with everything that has happened, he will just have a town

[00:19:07] hall wedding.

[00:19:08] Just a couple of witnesses and me and him.

[00:19:10] I'm so eternally grateful to have found him.

[00:19:13] He's my entire world and without him here to talk me out of a breakdown, I might never

[00:19:17] have survived.

[00:19:18] Family is not always who you were born with but those you meet along the way.

[00:19:23] I've been so incredibly lucky to have met some of the best people I can start my own

[00:19:27] family with.

[00:19:33] To think that I would ever get an apology is just so naive but I think this may have been

[00:19:38] a blessing in disguise.

[00:19:39] At the very least, I'm choosing to see it like that.

[00:19:42] This chapter of my life is officially over and I can now move on to better and brighter

[00:19:46] things.

[00:19:47] Thank you all for tuning in to this portion of my life.

[00:19:50] Love you all and hope that you have better luck with family members than I have.

[00:19:54] By the way, I know people are curious about my ethnicity.

[00:19:57] A mixed race.

[00:19:58] My mother is Indian and my father is English.

[00:20:00] I grew up and lived in England most of my life.

[00:20:04] Someone says to the OP, it's kind of hard to believe that brother and dad had no idea

[00:20:08] that so many people in the family are believing in this crazy narrative.

[00:20:12] OP says my dad doesn't speak to my mom's side at all.

[00:20:15] He hates them.

[00:20:16] He had no idea this fake story was going around to my aunties.

[00:20:20] Growing up, we would always defend him to my grandma, aunties and uncles.

[00:20:23] It makes it worse that my sister went to them to tell them this distorted version

[00:20:27] of events when they don't even like our own dad.

[00:20:30] She's selfish and will do anything to make people believe her.

[00:20:33] It's partly why I don't bother correcting them.

[00:20:36] They're going to believe what they want to believe, no matter how much proof I have.

[00:20:40] My mom's side already don't like me because I'm with a white guy.

[00:20:44] Lol.

[00:20:45] They think I'm ashamed of my culture, though I was fully planning on having an Indian wedding.

[00:20:49] And you know, you said it's with sadness that you make this update.

[00:20:52] And you also said that it could be a blessing in disguise.

[00:20:55] And I think you should definitely look on it that way.

[00:20:58] I think as time goes on, you're going to see how much freer you are in your own life without

[00:21:03] this kind of bullshit drama that's going on in the background.

[00:21:07] And like you said, it's about the people you meet along the way.

[00:21:10] That's your family.

[00:21:11] And it sounds very much like that situation.

[00:21:13] And all I can really do is wish you all the best going forward.

[00:21:18] I wish you peace with your new family.

[00:21:20] But now I'm going to turn this one to you guys.

[00:21:23] What do you guys make of this situation?

[00:21:26] Let us know your thoughts down in the comments below.

[00:21:29] Just a huge thank you from the bottom of my heart for getting involved in today's stories.

[00:21:32] Your love, your support, your time always means the absolute world to me.

[00:21:36] So thank you so, so much.

[00:21:37] And hopefully I'll see you in the next one.

[00:21:40] Take care.

[00:21:40] And much love.