My Sister-In-Law's AWFUL Comments Are Ruining Christmas r/Relationships

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[00:00:36] Hey Waffle Gang, I do hope you're well. My name is Mark and today we're checking out some more Reddit Stories. And if you do love a Reddit Story, why not consider hitting that like, subscribe, maybe that notification bell too. And let's crack on with today's first story. Much love guys. Now today's first story comes from a throw away account. And it says, how do I, 31 female, handle my awful sister-in-law, 33 female, at my boyfriend, 30 males, family Christmas?

[00:01:07] My 31 female, boyfriend, 30 male, and I have been together for three years. We've gotten to know each other's families quite well and we live nearby and can visit often. I love my boyfriend's family, except this brother's 33 male, long-term girlfriend, 33 female. Called her sister-in-law for simplicity in the title.

[00:01:28] Let's call my boyfriend James. His brother will be Mike and his brother's girlfriend, Kelly. Kelly and Mike have been dating for five and a half years. I truly believe she is well-intentioned, but oh my god, she's freaking terrible to be around.

[00:01:44] I get along with almost everyone I meet, but being around her actively makes me feel like I'm losing brain cells. We are polar opposites, but that's not why she's terrible. She makes wildly inappropriate comments to everyone around her, has no sense of self-awareness, and thinks the world owes her something. Kelly and Mike are not in a good financial position. Kelly is unable to work because of her traumatic childhood, and Mike works 50-plus hours a week in construction.

[00:02:12] He busts his butt to provide for them, and she spends her days at the local bar with a local riffraff, then complains about not being able to afford to buy a three-bedroom, two-bathroom home on several acres of land in a high-cost-of-living state. For Christmas, my boyfriend's parents are hosting celebrations, and we're doing a small gift exchange with a max of $10 per person. And then everyone drew a name from a hat, and we get that one person a gift up to $50.

[00:02:40] Total spend is around $100 each, so everyone gets one big gift and a couple of small things. At first, we had no budget, but Mike was concerned about being able to participate, so we set a budget, and James slipped Mike $200, so he wouldn't have to worry about it. It's not Secret Santa, so everyone knows who drew which name. James drew Kelly's name, and immediately she started sending him links to things that were $100 plus for him to get her.

[00:03:09] He reminded her of the budget that we set to benefit them, and she said, You can afford it. These are the only things I want. I made it worse by saying, Mike drew your name, and we're getting you something nicer than $50. I'd give her the benefit of the doubt that she may not know James gave Mike the $200 to help them out. She hounded James about it being unfair, that they suffer, while we have so much, so clearly he can afford to get her a nicer gift.

[00:03:36] Both James and I are very comfortable, but we've both worked hard for everything we have. She insulted him, called him greedy, told him that he's selfish and only cares about himself and the fancy life he lives with me, and that Mike and her resent him for abandoning them. James is the kind of person who would give his last dollar away, the shoes off his feet in a snowstorm, and who acts tough, but is actually just a big softie.

[00:04:03] A lot of people take advantage of that, and he caved. He got her the fancy over-budget gift. James and Mike's parents just kind of roll their eyes at her when she makes weird, inappropriate comments, and their mom has confided in me that she's happy at least James picked a normal one, and that she's glad she doesn't have to take care of both of her sons into adulthood. They are completely unaware of what's happened behind the scenes between Kelly and James.

[00:04:31] I'm not afraid of confrontation, but don't want to ruin Christmas by losing my shit at her. She's bound to say something or do something because she always does, and I really don't know if I can bite my tongue much longer. I am furious at her. I feel like I'm going to explode if she makes one off-handed comment or snide remark, that I'm betting it'll only take 20 minutes for her to say something stupid. It's not about the gift. We don't care about the money.

[00:04:59] To me, this is the icing on the cake of her already poor behavior. To James, it's just another thing he wants to let slide because he loves his brother, and it makes Mike's life easier if Kelly is happy and not complaining. How can I navigate this and stop her from taking advantage of James in the future? Talking to her rationally is futile. James did try that, and that's how we are here. Edit. Thank you for all the comments. I'm going to push pause on this account into after the holidays,

[00:05:28] and we'll post an update if anything interesting happens. I've decided to go into this armed with a couple of the quick and simple responses that people have suggested in here. My favorites are, Wow, what an inappropriate comment. Or, I can't believe you said that out loud. James and I will chat to after the holidays. I agree, he needs to set better boundaries. But we can have that conversation privately after the chaos of Christmas. Happy holidays all. And obviously we're going to hear a couple of those comments that were suggested to OP in a minute,

[00:05:58] but yeah, stuff like, Wow, what an inappropriate comment is a great way to go about it, I think. Puts them on the spot. I always like the one saying, Did you hear yourself just say that? Just to see their facial expression. But Jen says, Whenever she says something stupid, reply with a simple, What an odd thing to say, and walk away. You can omit the odd part when it doesn't fit the statement. OP says, As an example of the thing she says, My boyfriend has a cousin who had a car accident,

[00:06:27] and one of their legs has a severe burn scar on it that covers like half of their leg. Cousin was wearing shorts when he first met Kelly. First words out of Kelly's mouth were, Whoa, what the fuck happened to your leg? It's awful. I do like your suggestion. My facial expressions usually speak for me, but with how she spoke to James, I'm livid. OK Gazelle says, Imagine how hard what a weird thing to say to a person would have hit. OP says, It's true.

[00:06:57] Locked and loaded with this one for Christmas for sure. Al's pal says, Say, Did you mean to say that out loud? And Captain Amy Santiago says, That sounded like more of an inside thought. OP says, But around 13 days later, OP came in with an update and said, Thank you to everyone who commented. This is a rather anticlimactic update. Christmas was actually lovely. Kelly behaved for the most part,

[00:07:26] though of course made a few left field comments. Using mother-in-law and father-in-law for simplicity, but my boyfriend and I are not married. Here are some examples. Mother-in-law opened a gift. It was a turkey baster. Kelly exclaims, Whoa, father-in-law, trying to get her pregnant again. Mother-in-law and father-in-law are in their 70s. Awkward pause. Turns to me and James and goes, Actually, I'm surprised it's not you. And on recommendations from Reddit,

[00:07:55] I lovingly responded, What an uncomfortable thing to say. Kelly went on about how she expected, After we took a two-week vacation, We should be sharing a pregnancy announcement. I responded, Well, that's kind of weird. I got James a gag gift that says, Some sexual innuendo on the butt of a pair of pants. Kelly kept making comments about, No one needs to know the details of your sex life. Despite that the pants were a joke. This was repeated all night,

[00:08:25] but I just ignored it. Otherwise, we had a great time, and a great family gathering. I wish I had something more exciting, but the answers I got helped me have a few responses in my arsenal to respond to her weird comments, and otherwise, I ignored her. Thanks, Reddit. PyGoo says, And quotes, No one needs to know the details of your sex life, but I'm going to loudly speculate about how much of it you had during a trip anyway. Right. Concave Usurper says,

[00:08:54] While also making an artificial insemination joke that is really insensitive to anyone having fertility issues, which I wouldn't be told about you having. All the Colors says, It sounds like you have a better outlook on the situation. That's good at least. Those, Why did you say that? And please explain your racist slash sexist, etc. comment phrases, work on people who have social awareness. Honor the Crone says,

[00:09:34] And I'm not sure if that will be the end of Kelly just yet. Like that last comment says, The phrases generally work on people who have social awareness, and it doesn't sound like she has much of it. It might stop her for the time being, but I'm sure she will come back again. But what do you guys make of this situation? Let us know your thoughts down in the comments below, and let's move on to another story. From Appropriate Food 5858. It says,

[00:10:03] Am I the arsehole here for telling my sister's boyfriend it's not his business if I don't want to be a stay-at-home mum? So I, female 22, have an older sister, female 28. She has four kids, and she loves being a mum, and wants to be a stay-at-home mum. And I encourage her to do whatever she wants. She herself understands that I have no desire to be a mum right now, if not ever. I have two other older sisters, who are like me, who doesn't want to be a stay-at-home mother.

[00:10:32] This is important in the story. Her boyfriend is mad at me, male 27, because he asked me when I'm going to settle down, and that he can introduce me to his friend, male 25, who wants a stay-at-home wife. I told him no, that I don't want to date anyone this year, and he got mad at me for some reason, and asked me why. So I told him my ex-boyfriend left me with trust issues. My ex cheated on me for six months into a three-year relationship.

[00:11:00] He told me we broke up in 2023, and I should start getting back out there. And I told him it's not his business. And he dropped it. But two days ago, he asked me if I wanted to be a stay-at-home wife and mother. And I told him no, that I don't. And I'm not even sure if I want kids, let alone to be married. He got defensive, since his mum was a stay-at-home wife and mum. And I told him, I don't see anything wrong with being a stay-at-home mum, but that I don't personally want to depend on a man for anything.

[00:11:29] And he once again got defensive, and said not all men are the same. I told him he was correct, but again, not all women want the same thing. He said my sister wants to be a stay-at-home wife and mum. And I told him congratulations on finding that with my sister, but that once again, I don't want to be a stay-at-home mum. He got mad, because he overheard my conversation about me getting an IUD as well, and told me I'm ruining God's plan to make me a mum one day. And I told him whether I want kids or not is not his business.

[00:11:59] He got mad at me and told me to get out of his home. So I did. My older sister is asking me to apologize to him, and to not get an IUD, since if I get pregnant, that it's God's plan. And she also told me I should reconsider being a stay-at-home mum slash wife. I told her not everyone has that dream. And she accused me of not respecting stay-at-home mothers and wives, which is nothing but lies. My two other older sisters are on my side and said,

[00:12:27] my sister's boyfriend shouldn't be too concerned with how I live my life. And that if I don't want to depend on anyone for the rest of my life, that's my choice. He also said I'm going to hell for being bisexual. So I screamed that I guess his girlfriend, my sister, is also going to hell because she's bisexual herself. Which he already knows about. Now their friends are calling me an arsehole, saying that he only cares about what I do with my body, since it's God's body, and I should respect it and become a mum soon.

[00:12:57] So am I the arsehole for telling my sister's boyfriend, it's not his business, if I don't want to be a stay-at-home wife slash mum. Three of four mothers have never had a free hour for themselves. You also? We help you, because it's teamwork. With the today's best milk pump from Philips Avent you can pump the milk, have the hands free and more time for you. So can also others feed. The milk pump is showing the rhythm of your baby's body.

[00:13:25] She is incredibly leased and thanks to ultra-light to wear a safe and clean-to-leaf. Now new. Philips Avent Hands Free Milchpumpe. More hands, more time for you. Edit to clarify, I did put this in some comments, but three out of her four kids aren't even his. My sister has a seven, four, three and soon to be newborn. Edit two, I get asked this question a lot.

[00:13:53] About why I was discussing getting an IUD to my sister's boyfriend. I wasn't discussing it to him. Me and my three sisters were all discussing it at his house, but he wasn't there. He walked in though, when I said I was thinking of getting an IUD and that's when he butted into the conversation and as soon as he said God's body, not my body, me and my two other sisters started talking to him about it and he raised his voice, so I raised mine and we eventually left since I don't like conflict at all. Natural Inevitable says this one,

[00:14:22] this guy sounds like a creep. Who is he to dictate what you do with your life, your career and your body? Hope your sister knows about this and supports you, not the arsehole. Opie says my sister who is with him wholeheartedly supports him and that I should be a stay at home. She wants me to apologize to keep the damn peace, but I told her I'm done keeping the peace. He also supports the abortion ban, which is his opinion. Me on the other hand is pro-choice. He wants a national abortion ban

[00:14:51] even for rape and incest, which makes me nervous to be in a room with him. She also supports this. Leela Lowly Love says not the arsehole. His views on stay at home mums and traditional gender roles are his own and he shouldn't be imposing them on you. Atchal Spell says he's not really that traditional. He's not married to the mother of his child. Good Intelligence says people are traditional only when it's convenient to them. So a couple of days later,

[00:15:20] Opie came in with her update and says, so this is the update. I already knew I was going to go no contact with her boyfriend as I don't feel safe around him. But I went ahead and called my sister to tell her and why I chose no contact with. And she is now super mad at me saying I overreacted and all that fun stuff. So I asked her if they're going to apologize and she said they don't owe me an apology and I owe him an apology. He overheard us on the phone and once again got into the conversation and I told him

[00:15:50] I have nothing to say to him. He told me he wanted to know the answer to two of his questions. Why don't I want to be a stay at home mum? Told him it's none of his business and to stay in his lane. Why I don't want to date and marry his friend. Told him that he isn't my type and never will be and to not talk to me again. He told me if I don't stop overreacting I won't have anything to do with my nephews and niece. And that not gonna lie got to me. And I told him for my mental health I'm done being

[00:16:19] slash talking to him. And my sister said okay you made your choice and we will make ours. So now I'm no contact with both of them. Also found out my dad found out yesterday and this morning after I was on the phone with them he went and yelled at Josh and told him to back off and that his daughter wasn't for sale or anything like that. And they got into a fist fight. Apparently my dad won. I'm not totally sure about that though. And my dad called me and apologized and asked me personally why I don't want to be

[00:16:48] a stay at home mother so I told him the reason. Which had to do with my dad and step mom. He apologized to me saying that he never meant to do that to her. He was very abusive to her. At one point I saw him choke her and screamed and he let her go but never apologized for it. So I decided to cut off my sister and her boyfriend which sucked because I won't be able to see my niece and nephews anymore. But my mental health and physical health is more important to me to be honest. OP also left a comment

[00:17:18] below that one and said there's one more thing that was said that I forgot to mention. So in my last post about this there were many people asking me to ask him when he's going to marry my sister since they're not living in God's plan. So I asked him. His response was it's not my business to know which I said then it's not his business to know anything about what I do with my body and who I date and all that. He got angry with me and proceeded to cuss me out. I honestly just laughed. New Fishing says

[00:17:47] so it's his business to know about yours. Quiet Moon says it's like he's trying to groom her to be a sister wife or communal wife with his friend. Creepy. Healthy Brain says he probably promised his mate he can have the sister. Bella Missy Storm says he wants to pimp you off to his friend and then they want to shape you into women they can control. He's a walking red flag and I have no doubt his friend would be as well. Storm and Sunshine says why is he so obsessed with you and your life decisions? How do they

[00:18:17] in any way affect him and his life? It's disturbing how he's obsessing with his girlfriend and sister to the point where he's trying to set you up with men of his choice and throws tantrums when you don't want to follow his view of what's a correct way of living. To be honest your father doesn't sound much better choking his own wife and only stopping when you interfere. Truly disturbing behavior What has he been doing to her when no one is watching? If he can do things like that publicly enough for you to notice and in the end of your discussion

[00:18:47] with him his final question was I just need to know why you don't want to be a stay at home mom like it disturbs him just as much as it disturbs your sister's boyfriend. He just thinks it's his right to know not your sister's boyfriend. That fight seems to be more about protecting his ownership over you than protecting you. Seriously this toxic environment where the women are not just expected to pop out kid after kid and staying home with them but also being heavily questioned when implying that maybe this is not the life they want for themselves feels like something

[00:19:16] from either 200 years ago or from a severely religious community where a man's word is law and a woman's job is to obey birth children and be tied to the stove. None of them belong in this century. Opie responded to that saying yeah I might talk to my dad about all that. All my life I had toxic men around me except my grandpa. Toxic men is all me and my sisters no to be honest. I've decided to end our relationship with my sister and her boyfriend as I don't feel safe

[00:19:46] even around my sister which is sad since she used to be my safe place to go when I needed it. I finally got started this shit and now it's going down again. Someone mentioned going to see a therapist and I'm gonna make an appointment for next week. Storm and Sunshine replied to that saying yes it seems like this has been the normal for you when you grew up. No wonder your sister doesn't see anything wrong with it since this is all she knows. Good for you for being able to identify it as toxic

[00:20:15] and making decisions to not follow the pattern. I agree that therapy could help. Just make sure your therapist isn't part of the same toxic views. I think it's wise of you to cut contact with your sister and her boyfriend. Perhaps you will open her eyes one day but it's not your responsibility to help her with. Absolutely as I was reading through that it did feel like a pattern like that is OP's normal and that is all they knew and it feels like very much that's what the sister's going through as well but I don't

[00:20:45] blame OP from stepping back from the sister because she needs to protect herself at this moment in time. Hopefully the sister will come around one day and recognize that she's just continuing down that shitty path of being with toxic men. But what do you guys make of this situation? Let us know your thoughts down in the comments below. Just a huge thank you for being here today getting involved in the stories your love your support your time it always means the absolute world to me

[00:21:15] so thank you so so much for being here and hopefully I'll see you in the next one. Take care and much love.

[00:22:01] deines Babys wieder. Sie ist unglaublich leise und dank ultra-leichter Auffangschalen und Silikonkissen bequem zu tragen. Jetzt neu Philips Avent Hands-Free Milchpumpe Mehr Hände mehr Zeit für dich.