Dad Left Me Inheritance Behind His Wife's Back - Now She's Demanding It | r/BestOf

[00:00:02] [SPEAKER_00] Hey Waffle Gang, I do hope you are well. My name is Mark and today we're checking out some more Reddit Stories. And if you do love a Reddit Story, why not consider hitting that like, subscribe, maybe that notification bell too. And let's crack on with today's first story. Much love guys. Now a big thank you to Emotantly Damaged from our very own subreddit r slash mark narrations for telling us there's a new update to this story. The story originally came from Inheritance Snafu who said,

[00:00:30] [SPEAKER_00] Would I be the butt face if I kept my father's money instead of giving it to his wife? The first part of this story came five years ago. And it said, After my parents got divorced, my dad started dating Betty. Everything started okay but Betty became jealous when my dad spent time with me. She was never abusive, just passive aggressive and saved her worst comments for when he wasn't around. I learned I can't trust her but I'm polite to her.

[00:00:56] [SPEAKER_00] Betty has a son, Frank, who's very greedy. When she met my dad, Betty stopped giving him everything he wanted. In 2009, he and my dad had an argument that ended with then 40-year-old Frank punching my then 70-year-old dad. My dad died a few months ago.

[00:01:13] [SPEAKER_00] The will was joined so the estate goes to Betty and once she dies, what's left will be divided between me, my brother Alan and Frank. It's unlikely me or Alan will see any of it because Frank will drain her until there's nothing left. Which has already started.

[00:01:29] [SPEAKER_00] They got married in 1996. In 2006, he changed the beneficiary on his IRA to only me. It's not part of the estate. She's very nervous about the IRA. My dad was fairly wealthy so between his estate, her retirement accounts and them selling the house for almost 1 million, she's not going to starve but she's still nervous.

[00:01:52] [SPEAKER_00] Alan called me with all this info because the estate lawyer is sending me a letter about it. Betty told him not to tell me anything but he felt he had to. Haven't gotten a letter yet but they're maybe setting up a trust I shall want me to sign the IRA into. I expect the guilt trip about doing the right thing and following his wishes but the reason they had a joint will is because they couldn't agree on any other kind of split as my dad didn't like Frank and Betty doesn't like me.

[00:02:20] [SPEAKER_00] If I thought my dad had dementia, I might believe the IRA was missed but he was very meticulous. It feels like making me beneficiary was his way of providing for me knowing this would happen. It does not make financial sense for me to give the money to the estate and end up with 25% of whatever pittance is left and I could have 50% of whatever is in the IRA right now. I would split it with Alan. My other reason for not wanting to share is that I'm currently pregnant and having this money would make being a stay-at-home mom easier

[00:02:48] [SPEAKER_00] and baby will get a jump start on her college fund. Would I be the butt face if I didn't give this money back to the estate and shared it with my brother? I might be the butt face because while I want to be ethical, I have some schadenfreude out over being in control after she's treated me poorly for 30 years. I also don't need the money but she doesn't either so... For other info, I don't know why she wouldn't call me directly. Either the lawyer said not to or this is another example of her not treating me as an adult.

[00:03:17] [SPEAKER_00] My brother is my half-brother. He was estranged and came back into our lives in 2008. I feel like he would have been on the IRA too. After my brother came back into our lives, but before he had changed his will, my dad had always asked me to be fair with him. So I would give him his share. I can't remember what I said the first time around on this one four years ago, but it'd probably be the same as this, that this wasn't an accident. Your dad was meticulous. He had nearly two decades to update that IRA and didn't.

[00:03:46] [SPEAKER_00] He knew exactly what he was doing. Betty gets the house sale, her own retirement accounts and the full estate. Like you said, she's not going to struggle. What dad left OP feels like less of an oversight and more like a message, if anything. And OP isn't even keeping it all. She's planning on splitting it with her brother, honoring basically the spirit of what her dad always asked for. The only person who seems to be cut out of this is Frank, who, let's not forget, punched a 70-year-old man.

[00:04:13] [SPEAKER_00] And there was also Betty, who spent 30 years being passive-aggressive to a child. But in the comments, T. Rose says, Dr. Governor said,

[00:04:56] [SPEAKER_00] Another commenter says, And one more comment from Art of Odd, who says,

[00:05:50] [SPEAKER_00] So OP came in with her first update. And it said,

[00:06:54] [SPEAKER_00] The items Alan and I were gifted come nowhere close to that. I think altogether, there is a car involved. We're divvying up maybe 100k worth of stuff. Maybe, if we can get a good price for the car. But just those two sales, she could buy a house for 200-300k, near her son, and still have plenty to live on. But she seems to have her heart set on buying a house by the beach, which doesn't feel very much like my problem. From her letter, you'd think that this IRA has millions of dollars in it that she desperately needs to survive on.

[00:07:23] [SPEAKER_00] But no, she tells me that it's worth 55k. That's 5% of just what she sold the house for. I genuinely think it's both pitiful and pathetic that she wouldn't just let it go. And I'm sure she has Frank whispering in her ear about making sure she gets everything she's entitled to. But now, I do have a copy of the will. Two things stand out from what she sent me. One, the letter isn't on the lawyer's stationery, so there's no official demand of any sort. And I feel like it's unlikely that I'd get one.

[00:07:53] [SPEAKER_00] Two, nowhere in the will does it say that she couldn't just rewrite her will and give everything to Frank. Like I said in my last post, I don't trust her in the slightest. So, I've contacted an estate lawyer so I can determine my next steps. Thanks for being here with me on this ride. I'll update again if there's anything more to say. And I'll just give you a gist of the comments on this one that basically OP has done exactly the right thing. Lawyering up, keeping ahead and basically seeing through the emotional manipulation immediately.

[00:08:23] [SPEAKER_00] The letter not being on official stationery tells you everything about how strong Betty's actual legal position is. It's a guilt trip, not a claim. And people start suspecting basically the more we seem to learn about Betty, the more it looks like the dad knew exactly what he was doing in this situation. So OP comes in with another update and says there's not a whole lot to update on as for better or for worse. I haven't heard from my stepmother in months. But I suppose this is some sort of closure for people who care.

[00:08:52] [SPEAKER_00] About a week after I got the letter, she sent me a text message asking if I'd gotten the letter and if I'd made a decision. I said yes and no respectively. She hasn't contacted me since. So nothing since August. Since then, I've also had my baby five weeks early. So it's not like I have a lot of brain power to spend on her. I spoke with an estate attorney and she confirmed there's nothing legally my stepmother could do to get the IRA. So I was in the clear there. She also confirmed that joint wills don't really exist anymore.

[00:09:22] [SPEAKER_00] So if my stepmother wanted to, she could just write her will to exclude me or me and Alan or whatever she wanted to do. This left me with the interesting problem of how do I get the money? Considering I don't know where it was and I didn't really want to contact my stepmother and say, I'm disinclined to aqueousize to your request. So tell me how to get my money. Because I felt like that would open up a can of, I'm not doing it until you agree to sign it over to me. Luckily for me, the lawyer I spoke to was also the son of an old Italian man like my father

[00:09:51] [SPEAKER_00] and mentioned that these old Italian men tend to pick a bank and never change. So I googled around for investment firms until I saw a name that rang a bell. And I went, aha. Long story short, the IRA is now in my name. I had to take a disembursement for this year and sent half to Alan. My stepmother has moved a couple of times, so I didn't know her address to send my response letter to. And like I said, she hasn't contacted me since August. So I'm considering my hands washed of it unless she actually tries.

[00:10:21] [SPEAKER_00] So all's well that ends well for me. Alan, on the other hand, is still having to deal with her because of the estate. He's meeting with the estate lawyer tomorrow to get some questions answered. So I'd be interested in hearing what happens. One of the things she had mentioned to him is that she needs a car that my father left to Alan. And I appraised because if something, the estate, I'm guessing, because there's no way the car is worth as much, is worth over 5 million. She says there are tax implications, which doesn't make sense to me.

[00:10:49] [SPEAKER_00] But if she's really dealing with a 5 million estate, it's super extra petty that she was coming after me for 55k. Update 3. I'm not sure if I'm making this post for me or for you guys, but at least this is a chronicle of the issue in case anyone asked me about it later. After my last update, there was silence for a while. Then my stepmother sent me a Christmas card with another letter inside it. And I'm sure that particular irony was lost on her. In it, she explained that she was going to use the money for health insurance payments.

[00:11:19] [SPEAKER_00] And once again, acting like this money is what's keeping her from the brink of starvation. This letter, however, had a return address. I did what any red-blooded millennial will do and googled it. One visit to the county deed website later confirmed for me that she had bought a beach house. Well, it's not on the beach. It's in a beach town. Being purposely vague here. For $745,000. She ended the letter by saying that she had talked to my cousin who told her that I saw the money as being able to continue my father's memory.

[00:11:49] [SPEAKER_00] And what she felt I should accept her books, photo albums, etc. Because those are my father's memory. But she'll discard them if she didn't hear from me by the end of the year because it just proves I'm all about the money and nothing else. I'm sure the irony of me being all about the money while offering to replace it with material things while really, really wanting me to give her money is also lost on her. Also, the attempting to sell me memories was a nice touch. And I finally had an address to respond to.

[00:12:18] [SPEAKER_00] I wrote what my BFF described as the most polite bridge burning ever and sent it off before a deadline. She called yesterday, which I did not answer. She left a message saying that she just received my letter the day. I know the USPS sucked right now, but almost two weeks for a letter? And to call her back so she could clear some things up. The tone was very hostile, so I'm disinclined to call her back. Honestly, I don't really want to hear what she has to say. And I'm not sure why she would think I would.

[00:12:46] [SPEAKER_00] Like, there's really nothing she could say that would convince me to give her the money. And she'll probably just yell at me like I'm the kid she still thinks I am. Hopefully, this doesn't escalate. If it does, you know I'll update. Ha! So then it was four years after that post. Opie came in with update four. And says,

[00:14:24] [SPEAKER_00] As for my stepmother. As far as my stepmother, I wonder sometimes if I'll ever get notified when she dies. Well, I guess technically if I'm a beneficiary, I'd have to be notified. But I'm sure I've been written out of the will by now. No skin off my nose. And I like that Opie came in four years later with the best update ever. Which is basically, nothing happened. Betty went quiet after that hostile voicemail in 2021. And hasn't made a sound since.

[00:14:53] [SPEAKER_00] No letters, no Christmas cards with, you know, more manipulation. Nothing like that. No lawyers. Nothing. And getting that silence from someone who, all that time ago, threatened to bin her late husband's photo albums for, like, leverage. You know, that's a good thing. I think it's pretty amazing. Four years ago, an Opie's kid is four years old now. Already 20 grand in the college fund. Nice. Nice. And I think it's still safe to stand by. Your dad didn't miss that beneficiary change by accident. He knew exactly what he was doing.

[00:15:23] [SPEAKER_00] And four years on, it's going exactly the way he planned. Which I think is a great end to the story. So congratulations to Opie on that piece. I hope things continue that way going forward. But what do you guys make of this situation? Let us know your thoughts down in the comments below. And let's move on to another story. Now our next story comes from the WhatDoIDo subreddit from Spreaders0 who says, Out of the country, my dog sitter is suddenly making various demands.

[00:15:52] [SPEAKER_00] I'm currently out of the country and away from my younger dog, Ellie, for the first time ever. My good friend is watching her for the majority of the trip. But a neighbor I've known for a while now from the dog park enthusiastically volunteered to watch her for the initial four days while my friend was occupied. I was very appreciative and told her that when I'm back, I'll treat her to this very nice restaurant she's mentioned. And also plan to get her a gift from my trip. It all seemed like a very positive arrangement.

[00:16:20] [SPEAKER_00] But suddenly right when I land, she starts texting me a lot. Giving no specifics but saying weird things like, I'm ordering supplies to help the situation. I'll be sending you an invoice for my time and supplies at the end. And I'm just like, what's the situation? Her replies are all vague but also weirdly volatile. I'm extremely calm and agreeable. But somehow, everything I say, she escalates. Saying things like, you didn't think about how my life would be affected by this arrangement. And calling me a bad dog owner.

[00:16:48] [SPEAKER_00] Like some selfish person who forces on her. Which was not the case. And I'm just constantly like, what can I do? Just let me know and we can figure this out. But if I push for an actual solution like boarding, she'll insist that there isn't any solution. Backtracks are saying she'd keep watching Ellie. And that I should just enjoy my trip. But then she'll bounce back to like, but I demand at least $400 for my time and services. And if I'm not feeling it, her care will be up to my discretion. Which is just like, what the fuck?

[00:17:17] [SPEAKER_00] Let me get her to someone else then. And I'm continuing to be extremely pleasant. Because she has my dog. But what am I supposed to do? Even fully de-escalating on my end, she's becoming more unhinged. Right now I'm trying to find anyone else to go get my dog and then watch them. But it's hard with the time change. And I didn't have many great options for such a big ask. And meanwhile I'm trying to placate her all I can. Even though it feels like she just wants to guilt me into getting a bunch of money we didn't agree on.

[00:17:44] [SPEAKER_00] So much went into this trip which is a big deal for me. And I'm not even enjoying it due to the stress of this going on. Thoughts. And edits. Reason I didn't go with a boarding service or professional dog sitter. It just felt like an ideal situation I was more comfortable with. It was literally Ellie's 6 month birthday while I was gone. And I got her custom birthday cupcakes. All new toys. And imagining her being with someone she knew. With a dog she regularly played with. Still going to her favorite park and eating cupcakes

[00:18:12] [SPEAKER_00] was the exact ideal situation I put effort into finding. I wanted that over a stranger or a strange new place. Going forward, I'm still probably going to try for that. But just with someone who isn't crazy. One of the first commenters says, My instinct would be to contact your friend who'd be watching the dog for the rest of the time. I understand they may be occupied but might make an exception for this particular scenario. I hope he just replied saying he's also out of town until his pickup date. Another commenter says, Try to stay calm while you're away.

[00:18:42] [SPEAKER_00] The woman is a nutcase. Get your dog and give her the gift you intended. But do not pay her any of the demands and maybe have the police on standby once you are back. Edit. If you have another friend that can get your dog for you even better. Do not trust her. I have boxer dog says, I would beg every friend I have to go get my dog. She's unhinged. Does she have a partner that might be messaging you because they don't like the arrangement? Because this is seriously weird behavior as someone who volunteered to help. Odd Preparation says,

[00:19:11] [SPEAKER_00] Can you contact the police and ask if they can help since someone's threatening your dog and extorting you? Be clear that you're not surrendering the animal. That you have a plan in place for care in a few days. Maybe they can take the dog to the pound for a couple of days. Not ideal for the doggo, but maybe better than staying with this crazy lady. And then also says, But also do a really careful check of your home when you get back. Assuming she's at your house. Her cameras, missing items, etc. If this person is retaliatory or crazy,

[00:19:38] [SPEAKER_00] she might take or damage things as compensation or revenge. Obi says, Yeah, she lives a few doors down. And I did give her access to my place. Because it was supposed to be an extra convenient arrangement. Where she could even keep my dog at home for hours at a time. With no issue if she really needed a break. But I definitely need to be getting all my access changed now too. Yeah, and I think the commenters were all right. It's absolutely unhinged behavior. And I think all Opie could do in this moment is just be pleasant until she can get that dog away from that person.

[00:20:08] [SPEAKER_00] Because it is absolutely terrifying. But Opie had a couple of short updates. They said, update before I sleep. Ellie's getting rescued from the crazy neighbor. My friend's trip actually didn't happen. So he was able to go get her right away once it hit morning. And I was able to get in contact with him. I could write another three paragraphs on the petty drama from just trying to get this exchange to go through. But it isn't worth it. Just imagine a dozen more weirdly inflammatory accusatory texts. And her bitching to my friend and him.

[00:20:37] [SPEAKER_00] Also instantly realizing she's crazy. I know it's dumb. But after Ellie was safe, I did reply to one of her tirades with you're an unstable person. Before ceasing all communication. After going through a full day not breaking and walking on eggshells. She flipped out. And when I didn't reply, she tried to tattle on me to my friend. Who couldn't give a shit lol. What a weird sad 40 year old woman. And update 2. A different neighbor reached out because apparently Ellie was given to her for hours.

[00:21:06] [SPEAKER_00] On the day the crazy neighbor had her. And I didn't even know. Which is just another weird thing. So in the end, she had Ellie for one day. But not even that one day. Lol. And she's trash talking me. But it seems people are picking up on it being a her issue. Bloody hell. I'm glad that that dog is safe in the end. And they was able to get the dog away from her. But I couldn't help think about OP's apartment. If these messages were being sent while she was still away. You know, saying you need help or whatever. You're unhinged.

[00:21:33] [SPEAKER_00] I could just imagine that neighbor going around and doing some crazy shit. But what do you guys make of this one? Let us know your thoughts down in the comments below. Let's have another story. Now our next story comes from the Am I the Arsehole subreddit from FunnelFuss. Saying, Am I the Arsehole? Peed standing up in a traffic jam. Throw away. I'm 26 female. Boyfriend is 25 male. We got stuck in an insane traffic jam. Boyfriend was driving. We're at a standstill.

[00:22:03] [SPEAKER_00] Found out later it closed the highway. I had to pee really bad. Like bad, bad, bad. I saw that a couple of guys had run to the side of the road to pee. And I decided to do the same. It was super open. With a few bushes by the side of the road. Really not much cover. I have a stand to pee device in my car. But when I grabbed it my boyfriend got all weird. He said people would see me pee standing up and think I was trans. I said no one would think that. Plenty of women have pee funnels.

[00:22:31] [SPEAKER_00] And that I also didn't care. I have no beef with trans people. He said I should squat. Just to put his mind at ease. I said I didn't want to get my butt and cooch out on the highway. In front of everyone. To get pee on my shoes. And I just wanted to be quick and clean. He said he didn't want people to look at the girl he was dating. And think she was trans. And that I should squat like girls do. I'm dying by this point. I finally couldn't hold it anymore. And I really didn't want to show the whole world my butt. So I ran to the side of the road.

[00:23:01] [SPEAKER_00] Slip the device into my jeans. And just peed standing up with my back to traffic. No one could see anything. It just slides through the zipper. But I guess maybe if someone was looking they would be confused. When I got back to my car my boyfriend wouldn't talk to me. He says I disrespected his feelings. But it was 100% an emergency. Am I the asshole? So this woman was stuck on the highway. Absolutely bursting to go. She uses a stand up pee device. Why not? Absolutely.

[00:23:30] [SPEAKER_00] And it gives her the discretion she needed to be able to do it. And then gets back. And she's being given the silent treatment for using it. And the reason was because someone might have thought she was trans. That's it. That's what he's complaining about. Which just proves you know. He's transphobic in the end. Because let's be clear about what he said. Don't do that. People might think you're trans. He didn't say it as just like an observation. He said it like it's something to be avoided. Greek American Dom says this one. Not the asshole. Your boyfriend is clearly transphobic.

[00:24:00] [SPEAKER_00] That is 100% on him. And who cares if people think you're trans? Quoting. He said he didn't want people to look at the girl he was dating and think she was trans. And then says. And you don't want people to think you're dating someone bigoted and hateful. Amazeball says not the asshole. Your boyfriend would have preferred for everyone to see her ass and vagina. And have a random stranger think his girlfriend is trans. He'd rather you expose yourself for his personal gain. Get a better boyfriend. Peter's map project says he's insecure and transphobic.

[00:24:29] [SPEAKER_00] He also puts his insecurity and transphobia above your comfort. Not the asshole. And honestly you can do better than this specimen. All you fancy says not the asshole. Next time make hard eye contact. And pee in the car at a show of dominance. And another commenter says. Your boyfriend is so transphobic that he wants you to expose your genitalia on the side of the road to prove that you're not a trans woman. Because he can't stand the idea of a total stranger in a neighboring car whom he will never speak to or see ever again.

[00:24:58] [SPEAKER_00] Thinking he might be sharing a car. Because the strangers in other cars have no idea that you're dating with a trans woman. You're not the asshole. But get a better boyfriend. And one more commenter says. The fact that you have to ask am I the asshole because someone might think you're trans is insane. If your boyfriend was concerned you'd be targeted. As in your safety put at risk. Because someone might think you're trans. That would be a little more understandable. But that wasn't the case.

[00:25:25] [SPEAKER_00] He was worried people would think he was dating slash with a trans person. Opie you're not the asshole. But you might be if you stay in a relationship with a transphobe. And Opie did come in with a very very brief update. And said update. To all the commenters asking. Yes he's an ex-boyfriend now. And yes there were other red flags. Bitch the man. Kept the pee funnel. Gonna laugh at him every time I pee standing up. That's gotta be a new flair right?

[00:25:53] [SPEAKER_00] But what do you guys make of this situation? Let us know your thoughts down in the comments below. A huge thank you for being here today. Getting involved in the stories. Your love. Your support. Your time. It always means the absolute world to me. So thank you so so much for being here. Truly is absolutely amazing. And hopefully I'm gonna see you in the next one. Take care. And much love.