My Sister-In-Law Put My Son At Risk Because Of Her Pregnancy Peanut Cravings r/Relationships

[00:00:03] Hey Waffle Gang, I do hope you are well. My name is Mark and today we're checking out some more Reddit stories. And if you do love a Reddit story, why not consider hitting that like, subscribe, maybe that notification bell too. And let's crack on with today's first story. Much love guys.

[00:00:21] Now, today's first story comes from a deleted user from the Am I the Asshole subreddit and says, Am I the Asshole for throwing my pregnant sister indoors groceries away?

[00:00:31] My brother and his wife, Laura, who is seven months pregnant, are staying with us for a week or so. Since he's interviewing for jobs in the city, my family and I are in. My kids love having their aunt and uncle around and everything's been great. Yesterday, Laura went out and came back with groceries. I thanked her but told her that we don't expect them to do this. The kitchen is stocked and we're just enjoying having them. She said that she wanted to and that most were cravings she's been having.

[00:00:59] I started helping her unload the bags and noticed that a lot of snacks were with peanuts, cookies, crackers, peanut butter, even some sort of cake fusion. It all made me uneasy because she knows my oldest son, eight male, is extremely allergic. I don't keep anything of the kind in our home because we've had an incident when he was younger where we almost lost him. I didn't want to be rude but I told her that I'm not comfortable with having the stuff in the house.

[00:01:28] She told me that she would be careful, that she wouldn't eat it around him or his siblings and that she'd clean up after herself, that she was having intense cravings and needed them. Look, I had four kids and kind of get where she's coming from, although I never had to have something but every woman is different. I made sure my son knew not to touch any of it and to leave her alone when she's eating them. That was that.

[00:02:23] I didn't care. I was going to take the bag, drive to a shelter and let them know the situation.

[00:02:29] Laura woke up while I was on my rampage, came down and asked all upset what I was doing. I was snippy with her and didn't try to hide it. We got into an argument with her defensively saying that I can't do this, that the baby needs it and that it's cruel to put a pregnant woman through unsatisfied cravings.

[00:02:47] I told her bluntly that I don't give a single fuck. If she can't keep to her word then I won't either and that she'll live without her craving. My son can't say the same with his allergy.

[00:02:58] She went back upstairs, packed her bags and came down, grabbed the bag of food and left in a huff. My brother was at his interview and called me half an hour later to ask me what happened. He was upset with his wife but also with me because nothing happened at the end of the day.

[00:03:14] My son is fine. I told my husband when he came back from work and he's completely on my side. Am I the arsehole?

[00:03:22] That last line from your brother is really weird that he's upset with you because at the end of the day nothing happened. Nothing happened because you sorted out the issue before it became an issue and if it did become an issue it could have been extreme.

[00:03:38] It sounds like the severity of your son's allergy is life threatening and I thought he was being extremely accommodating by letting her have them in the house in the first place but she broke that trust and in some ways I think

[00:03:51] if you did deny her having peanut butter in the house or in the form of cookies crackers or whatever if you denied all that I have a feeling she would have snuck it in anyway because she just doesn't seem to give a shit.

[00:04:04] So at least you kind of know that they were in the house I guess and she's just a selfish individual but Callie the Blaze says not the arsehole.

[00:04:13] Nothing happened and your son is fine because you made sure that would be the case.

[00:04:17] The only thing I can possibly think you might have done to be even more in the right was make sure your sister-in-law knew about the severity of the allergy and that even skin contact with residue that isn't visible could be enough to set him off.

[00:04:30] But that really isn't necessary with anyone who is remotely reasonable because everyone under 40 has been taught that sort of thing about peanut allergies.

[00:04:39] You were already being exceedingly reasonable and taking risks just allowing that stuff in the house.

[00:04:44] You'd have been well within your rights to say that you couldn't risk peanuts in the house at all.

[00:04:48] Let her eat it outside away from the house if she needs it that bad as long as she thoroughly cleans down before coming back to your house.

[00:04:56] Leaving it out in the open in the fridge like that where it could bump into other things and leave smudges on them was entirely unreasonable in the house of someone with any degree of contact allergy.

[00:05:06] Much less a deathly severe one.

[00:05:10] Saf Burrell says,

[00:05:11] Went to school with people with severe peanut allergies from the age of 4 and understood I could not have anything with peanuts around them.

[00:05:18] Sister-in-law is old enough to understand but doesn't care.

[00:05:22] EJ2 Supreme says not the arsehole and quotes,

[00:05:25] We got into an argument with her defensively saying that I can't do this, that the baby needs it and that it's cruel to put a pregnant woman through unsatisfied cravings.

[00:05:34] And then says,

[00:05:35] There is a difference between a pregnant woman not having her cravings satisfied and an 8-year-old going into anaphylactic shock.

[00:05:42] One is possibly life-threatening and the other is not.

[00:05:46] Your sister-in-law is being selfish and very uncaring.

[00:05:49] If your sister-in-law needs to satisfy her cravings that badly, she can go somewhere else with the peanut butter.

[00:05:55] You are trying to protect your child and not risk any contaminants.

[00:05:59] Dangerous Winter Elf says agree, not the arsehole.

[00:06:02] Honestly, I hate but the baby wants baby needs in situations where the person, the pregnant lady is the arsehole.

[00:06:09] No, your unborn baby does not need strawberries dipped in peanut butter or cold soggy peanut butter sandwiches.

[00:06:16] It's something you want.

[00:06:18] Baby is perfectly fine with whatever you eat as long as you get the nutrition etc.

[00:06:23] You and baby need.

[00:06:24] And it's not cruel to say you can't eat that in my house just because you crave it.

[00:06:28] There are no human rights people that come running because a pregnant woman has to be without her craving for a few days.

[00:06:34] But it will be an issue to contaminate food and possibly hurt a child.

[00:06:38] The same can't be said about a kid who's allergic.

[00:06:41] They need their home to be a safe space and not risk their life when grabbing food.

[00:06:46] People really need to tone down the me, me, me, me.

[00:06:49] So then OP comes in with her update and says hello, this is a throwaway account and a repost and update of sorts because my post got taken down from the other am I the arsehole sub.

[00:06:59] Mini update.

[00:07:00] Like some people have predicted in the comments on the other sub, Laura did go straight to my family and started complaining.

[00:07:07] She hadn't twisted anything.

[00:07:09] Told them the full honest story and my mother was livid.

[00:07:13] She called me panting like she ran a marathon after she berated Laura to make sure my son is okay.

[00:07:19] So I can only imagine the right act she read her.

[00:07:22] Apparently even my stepdad gave Laura one of his disapproving frowns.

[00:07:26] My brother came back in the evening to get his stuff since Laura had only packed hers for some reason.

[00:07:31] He did apologize for what she did.

[00:07:33] Said that he'll have a chat with her once she's calmed down.

[00:07:36] She's been inconsolable.

[00:07:38] He told me that she's been crying since she left my mom's house and that she now feels unwelcome and unloved in our family.

[00:07:45] And he blames me for it.

[00:07:47] My husband butted in and told him that it's enough.

[00:07:50] That whatever she's feeling doesn't cover half of what we felt.

[00:07:54] And that she needs to get over herself.

[00:07:56] That I've been scrubbing the house from top to bottom for hours because of her actions.

[00:08:00] I did get panicky and went to deep clean the whole house.

[00:08:03] Especially the kitchen.

[00:08:04] But anyway.

[00:08:04] My brother left after he said there's no leveling with us when we're being this stubborn.

[00:08:10] Now that I've had time to get out of the state I was in.

[00:08:12] I do feel bad that she distressed and feels unwelcome in our family.

[00:08:16] That was never my goal.

[00:08:17] I've been debating sending her an apology.

[00:08:20] Not for my actions because I stand firm by them.

[00:08:22] But for the way I went about it.

[00:08:24] I shouldn't have allowed the stuff in her house in the first place.

[00:08:27] And could have been calmer about it after I opened the fridge.

[00:08:30] Now I'm sorry I don't think you apologize in this situation.

[00:08:34] You're not the one who should be apologizing.

[00:08:36] And the fact that she's ran to other people to try and get back up on this is just insane to me.

[00:08:41] All she had to do is turn around and really give a heartfelt apology.

[00:08:46] But she didn't do that.

[00:08:48] There were so many options she could have chosen to get her peanut cravings.

[00:08:53] That doesn't involve putting the life of an 8 year old at risk.

[00:08:57] And you gave a warning from the very beginning that you know.

[00:09:00] And she tried to reassure you that don't worry.

[00:09:04] She'll keep it all sealed and keep it away from everything else.

[00:09:07] But she did completely the opposite.

[00:09:10] That's on her.

[00:09:11] She needs to be apologizing for that.

[00:09:12] There's no other way around it.

[00:09:14] A couple of final comments on this one from Budnut Squash.

[00:09:17] She says not the arsehole.

[00:09:18] If your sister-in-law doesn't get to eat her pregnancy cravings.

[00:09:21] She and her baby will be just fine.

[00:09:23] If your son is exposed to his allergen.

[00:09:25] You could get very sick or even die.

[00:09:27] Sister-in-law is a selfish entitled arsehole.

[00:09:30] For thinking that her snacks were somehow more important than the life of your son.

[00:09:34] Potential umpire says sister-in-law could eat all the peanuts she wants anywhere but OP's house.

[00:09:38] And wash her hands well before coming home.

[00:09:41] Maybe change clothes.

[00:09:42] I don't know.

[00:09:43] I don't have food allergies.

[00:09:44] But sister-in-law doesn't have to eat a peanut butter at OP's house.

[00:09:48] And strawberries dipped in peanut butter?

[00:09:50] Ew!

[00:09:51] Keki Value says.

[00:09:53] What gets me is just how blatant and uncaring she was about it.

[00:09:56] She could have survived not eating it or even eating it at their house.

[00:10:00] We aren't even talking about someone who had a couple of packs of peanut butter cookies and Reese's pieces that she ate only in their bedroom or outside and washed up afterwards.

[00:10:09] She insisted contaminating the kitchen, the fridge.

[00:10:12] If it was an open plan then the dining room and living room.

[00:10:16] She set it up so that the child would 100% come into contact with peanut butter.

[00:10:20] It feels like someone who really doesn't believe other people's allergies are real.

[00:10:24] And deliberately set up situations that harm them to prove the hypothesis.

[00:10:28] But now I'm going to turn this one to you guys.

[00:10:32] What do you guys make of this situation?

[00:10:35] Let us know your thoughts down in the comments below.

[00:10:38] And let's move on to another story.

[00:10:43] Now our next story comes from the Am I Overreacting surreddit from TooToxicToComment who says

[00:10:48] Am I overreacting?

[00:10:50] I think my friend has eyes for my wife.

[00:10:53] I have a wife that I've been with for over 10 years and married for 3.

[00:10:58] I have a 10 month old son now.

[00:11:00] I recently met a guy who turned out to have a lot of common interests with me.

[00:11:04] Both into finance, fitness and stuff.

[00:11:06] We started hanging out more and more and work out together weekly in my home gym garage.

[00:11:12] Obviously we're spending time together and we shoot the shit often.

[00:11:15] This situation is that he's single.

[00:11:18] A father of a 7 year old girl and his ex is a super bitch to him.

[00:11:22] She publicly talks down to him the few times we all went out to dinner together.

[00:11:27] He still has to see her because they're co-parenting.

[00:11:29] They've been trying to date for the past year.

[00:11:32] Anyway, we got on to the topic of what he's looking for in a girl.

[00:11:35] Because he keeps going on dates and they all suck according to him.

[00:11:39] When other girls are his type.

[00:11:41] So I ask what his type is and he starts describing the traits of my wife.

[00:11:45] Could be a coincidence.

[00:11:47] Whenever we go to dinner, he'll be telling a story or whatever and show a picture on his phone.

[00:11:52] But only to my wife.

[00:11:53] I have to ask him to see what the picture is before he puts it away.

[00:11:57] Not that I care that much but feels sus.

[00:12:00] Whatever.

[00:12:00] Whatever.

[00:12:01] We've been hanging out more and having game nights at my place with him and a few other

[00:12:05] friends.

[00:12:06] Whenever he's in the presence of my wife, he takes my son and puts him on his shoulders

[00:12:10] and plays with him in front of her.

[00:12:12] Makes weird comments.

[00:12:14] At least I think so.

[00:12:15] In front of my wife like,

[00:12:17] I love being a father and providing for a family.

[00:12:19] I wish I had a wife that was as good as raising kids as you.

[00:12:23] Let me know if I can help you in any way with your son.

[00:12:26] Always directed to my wife and never me.

[00:12:29] Okay.

[00:12:30] Whatever.

[00:12:31] The thing is, these comments have been setting off eye raises for me.

[00:12:35] So when I was working out with him the other day, I said,

[00:12:38] Do you think my wife is attractive?

[00:12:39] He said,

[00:12:40] Oh hell yeah dude.

[00:12:41] Your wife is hot.

[00:12:43] I said thanks.

[00:12:43] But it raised my antenna even more.

[00:12:46] Now the reason I'm writing this is because his most recent comment to me was,

[00:12:50] Do you think your wife can find a girl for me after a workout class that looks like

[00:12:54] her?

[00:12:55] This coupled with what happened the other day at dinner.

[00:12:57] We're going to dinner with him and his family that were in town.

[00:13:01] It was at a big shopping center so we're waiting at a Starbucks for them to arrive at the restaurant.

[00:13:06] He comes to the Starbucks where we are while his family is at the restaurant.

[00:13:10] He waves and says we are ready.

[00:13:12] I start packing my son's bag while my wife handles the stroller.

[00:13:16] This dude grabs my son and puts him on his shoulders and starts walking out.

[00:13:21] My wife is walking out and I'm grabbing the bag.

[00:13:24] Now I'm literally watching this guy walk next to my wife holding my child while she's pushing the stroller and I'm trailing them.

[00:13:31] I felt I was watching a couple and their child and I was seething and feeling displaced.

[00:13:36] Am I overreacting because I'm cutting this arse all off?

[00:13:40] Not letting him anywhere near my wife and his kid again.

[00:13:43] If we happen to see him in a social setting of six or less, we are leaving.

[00:13:47] Ask my wife if he ever texted her or contacted her in any way on social media or text.

[00:13:52] She said no.

[00:13:53] I told her just now I feel he's peacocking and she said she doesn't get that vibe at all from him.

[00:13:59] Edit, edit.

[00:14:00] A female friend came over tonight who mutually knows this guy.

[00:14:03] She agreed that it's strange and thinks he's crushing on my wife.

[00:14:07] Intentionally or not, I told my wife to her face.

[00:14:10] I told my wife that if another female can see it, it's obvious.

[00:14:14] My wife now says she feels embarrassed that she doesn't see it and says it'd be awkward now because

[00:14:19] she doesn't want to think of him looking at her that way.

[00:14:22] Both her and the friend think it's best if we only see him in social settings with large groups

[00:14:26] and not at our house again.

[00:14:29] Lesson?

[00:14:30] Seems the general consensus is to trust my gut if I feel something is off and it does.

[00:14:35] Going to talk to my wife and then tell this dude straight and then ghost him.

[00:14:39] We have an update in a moment.

[00:14:42] Yeah, for me, this was red flag after red flag and I was just,

[00:14:46] I got to that point where it says,

[00:14:48] I wish I had a wife that was as good as raising kids as you

[00:14:51] and let me know if I can help you in any way with your son.

[00:14:54] Always directed to the wife.

[00:14:55] I try to put myself in his position saying that to like a friend's wife and it's just like,

[00:15:01] nah.

[00:15:02] Never ever say something like that.

[00:15:04] I personally find that really weird.

[00:15:07] And the friend noticing what's going on at the same time as well is just

[00:15:11] pretty much saying it all for me.

[00:15:14] Blue says,

[00:15:14] Why are you still inviting this guy over?

[00:15:16] The first time he creeped on your wife should have been the last time.

[00:15:20] Rooster Emotional says,

[00:15:21] Speak up.

[00:15:22] He'll apologize or go away.

[00:15:24] Either way, I'd let him know his actions are not acceptable.

[00:15:27] Opie says,

[00:15:28] The thing is,

[00:15:28] he's never directly said anything flirty to her.

[00:15:31] But it's more of these weird general comments.

[00:15:34] Seaworthiness says,

[00:15:36] How does a river get through a mountain?

[00:15:38] One drop at a time.

[00:15:39] How does an affair happen?

[00:15:41] One innocent interaction at a time.

[00:15:44] You said he's very similar to you.

[00:15:45] That means he's your wife's type.

[00:15:47] You already know your wife is his type and he's looking for a new partner and mother for his child.

[00:15:53] Damn, he's even poaching on your son.

[00:15:56] Like what is happening?

[00:15:57] Before you know it, he's going to start bringing the family dog treats.

[00:16:00] Then Opie comes in with an update and says,

[00:16:03] Here's the update.

[00:16:04] After all the advice,

[00:16:05] Thank you all.

[00:16:06] I decided to go the slow cutoff method rather than be indirect.

[00:16:09] Mainly because my thinking is that if you tell someone that you're wise to their BS,

[00:16:14] that they may just try to be more covert,

[00:16:16] cover their tracks and be sneakier with their behavior,

[00:16:19] or try to buy sympathy with mutual friends.

[00:16:21] There was a party we were invited to at his house before all this unfolded,

[00:16:26] and I told my wife we aren't going.

[00:16:28] This caused a bit of tension within our house because it got pretty heated

[00:16:32] because while she thinks he's doing it subconsciously,

[00:16:36] she has zero interest in him so it doesn't bother her.

[00:16:38] And she said she didn't even notice until I brought it to her attention.

[00:16:43] Needless to say, the fact that it caused an argument and drama for me

[00:16:46] was more than enough grounds for me to never have this dude around my wife and kid ever again.

[00:16:51] Anyway, because he was already introduced to all of my friends in my friend group,

[00:16:55] he invited all of them to this party.

[00:16:57] We didn't go and a few friends asked if we were going.

[00:17:00] I explained the situation and a few of them agreed that they saw what I saw.

[00:17:05] They said they were not going to the party.

[00:17:08] One couple did decide to go because they and him became close over the fact that they both really are into sports.

[00:17:14] The girl texted my wife and told her that they were the only couple that showed up.

[00:17:18] So really my friends are the only ones he invited.

[00:17:21] But she also said he had a girl there with him.

[00:17:24] They said the girl barely spoke English, but he said they were dating.

[00:17:28] But she was acting very odd.

[00:17:31] Now, this is the part where I'm not sure if he was made aware of my discontent with him

[00:17:35] because I'd already started cutting him off.

[00:17:37] Not answering calls, not initiating any texts, being very curt with my responses.

[00:17:43] Cool bro, etc.

[00:17:45] After this party, he randomly texts me photos of him with this girl

[00:17:48] professing how hot she is and what a great cat she is and how they are dating.

[00:17:52] One phrase to use which further raised my suspicions was

[00:17:56] It'd be good to go on a double date so you can see I have a girl.

[00:18:00] I'm thinking to myself, why would he care about that and what an odd thing to say.

[00:18:05] I asked how they met and he said Tinder.

[00:18:07] I asked to see the convo.

[00:18:09] He deleted the convo.

[00:18:11] He sent her Instagram photos and she has 37k followers

[00:18:14] and half her photos are of her in Dubai, London, etc.

[00:18:18] and doing lewd photo shoots.

[00:18:20] Considering he is a strip club kind of guy.

[00:18:22] This makes me think he may be paying for this companionship

[00:18:25] just to get his foot back in the door.

[00:18:27] But I could be wrong.

[00:18:29] So all is right.

[00:18:31] I'm plenty busy with work and wife and I are fine.

[00:18:34] My son is happy as can be and I'm going to make sure I keep the grass cut

[00:18:37] so I can see the snakes before they get to my door.

[00:18:40] Thanks everyone for the reassurances.

[00:18:43] I'm from Scythe who says, yeah, shit's weird.

[00:18:46] Cutting him off is for the best.

[00:18:48] He got no friends but yours.

[00:18:50] No girls except sniffing after yours.

[00:18:52] No life except the gym.

[00:18:54] He's a parasite.

[00:18:55] Hopi says this is the answer.

[00:18:58] Another commenter says, it's a little strange that your wife was upset that you didn't want to go to the party.

[00:19:02] Even if she doesn't care that he might have eyes for her,

[00:19:05] she should care that you were bothered by the whole thing.

[00:19:08] Liotez says, especially after she let the friend grab her kid and put him on his shoulders

[00:19:12] so they could walk like a family while hubby is left behind lugging the kid's stuff.

[00:19:18] Hawk of Kwan says, yeah, I think the bigger concern is your wife's reaction.

[00:19:23] Special K says, I feel like people are jumping to conclusions here.

[00:19:27] Couldn't it just be super frustrating for the wife to not get to see friends or go to a party

[00:19:32] just because of some weird dude with a crush on her?

[00:19:34] I understand that this dude is weird and shouldn't be a friend anymore.

[00:19:38] But I could see where it would feel like you can't see this guy when she did absolutely nothing wrong.

[00:19:45] Many people saying on the back of this one that this isn't over.

[00:19:49] You know, it's kind of, it is very sus about the way he's acting.

[00:19:53] The way that he's suddenly got a girlfriend and his comments towards you.

[00:19:57] I find the comments and the language from the dude is weird in itself anyway.

[00:20:01] But hey, what do you guys make of this situation?

[00:20:05] Let us know your thoughts down in the comments below.

[00:20:09] Now just a huge thank you for being here today.

[00:20:11] Getting involved in the stories, your love, your support, your time always means the absolute world to me.

[00:20:16] So thank you so, so much for being involved.

[00:20:18] Truly is absolutely amazing.

[00:20:20] And hopefully I'll see you in the next one.

[00:20:23] Take care and much love.

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