My Sister-In-Law LICKED My Face And Now Bro Won't Talk To Me r/Relationships

[00:00:01] Hey Waffle Gang, I do hope you are well. My name is Mark and today we're checking out some more Reddit Stories. And if you do love a Reddit Story, why not consider in the like, subscribe, maybe that notification bell too. And let's crack on with today's first story. Much love guys. Now, today's first story comes from StrangeTemperature00 from the AmITheArseOhere subreddit. And it says...

[00:00:26] My Sister-In-Law LICKED My Face And Now My Brother Is Not Talking To Me Alright, I'm sorry for the title, but that's as concise as I could be about it. I am 22 male and my brother is 28 male. He's been engaged to his fiancé for a few months now. She is 24. My brother's fiancé is your typical spoiled party girl and to be honest, so is my brother.

[00:00:50] In the last year or so, my brother and I have had a strained relationship. This is mostly due to differences of opinion when helping taking care of our mum, who is struggling with some PTSD and anxiety. She got held hostage by a man at her job, is still recovering and not back to work yet.

[00:01:08] For some context, my brother is a very impatient and opinionated person who struggles to see things outside his own perspective. He doesn't have a good grasp on mental health. He is easily persuaded by what he reads online, gets caught up in conspiracy theories, and I noticed COVID slash the pandemic kind of exasperated all of this.

[00:01:30] I work as a paramedic and he's been arguing with me about thinking I know better than him ever since. I'm adopted and my bio mum was a different ethnicity, so we don't look like brothers. When he can't think of a way to win an argument, he brings up the fact that I'm not her real son or his real brother. It wasn't always like this between us, which is sad. He's just not the same person and I'm not sure if it's work stress or life stress or what.

[00:01:57] I get that this post is going to be skewed by my perspective, but I'll try to be objective when it comes to the conflict. My birthday was last weekend, when this happened. My brother's fiancé apparently had the idea to throw me a surprise party. Most of the people there were friends of my brother and the fiancé. Everyone was drunk. They made a bit of a show of bringing me out a cake and having me blow out the candles. Before I did that, my brother's fiancé swiped frosting on her finger and put it on my cheek.

[00:02:26] I thought it was just her being nice and not trying to smash a piece of cake in my face. I blew out the candles and after I did that, his fiancé grabbed my face and licked it. Like from my jaw all the way up the side of my face. I have no idea why she did this. We don't even have the kind of relationship where it would be funny. My brother's face changed. His demeanor changed. He became very withdrawn and irritable. They were seen quietly fighting and he ended up just leaving the party.

[00:02:56] I brought it up the next day to make sure he was okay and apparently the two of them made up. It's me he has an issue with. I don't know what she told him, but it seems as if I'm the one being made out to be flirting with her, wanting her etc. Not even remotely true. I told him to leave me out of his relationship problems. It's his partner who disrespected him and embarrassed him. He's angry at the wrong person. I refuse to apologize. Apparently, I'm going to be out of the wedding unless I do.

[00:03:26] He's upset because I won't admit to my mistake. Well, I don't feel like I made one. Should I just do it for the sake of settling it? Normally, I'm willing to be the bigger person, but this is a false accusation. I don't want to attach to myself. Am I the arsehole here? Absolutely not the arsehole in this situation and don't apologize just for the sake of settling it because it won't fix anything. You find another reason to be upset at you

[00:03:56] and then expect you to apologize for whatever dumbass reason he comes up with next. And it's one of those situations I was thinking to myself, do you still want him in your life at this point? The way he is towards you? The way he's changed? Because I'm not sure that I would with the way he's acting and her as well licking your face. I mean, what the fuck? But the first commenter says to OP, your brother and his fiance are behaving like children. If you apologize for this incident,

[00:04:24] then it's likely he will continue to treat you with disrespect. If he takes you out of the wedding, he will have to explain the reason to others, which should prove embarrassing to him and his fiance. Perhaps you should call him on his bluff. Regardless, not the arsehole. OP says, you know what? I'm not opposed to threatening him with that. Thank you. The rich ad says, not the arsehole. I wouldn't cave either. Here's what I think. It's cliche, but you're probably the hotter, smarter brother.

[00:04:52] Your brother has insecurity issues about his relationship, intelligence and other things. So usually those people tend to get jealous easily and have paranoia about losing their partner to someone else. Not excusing the fiance either, because she definitely tried to keep herself innocent slash victim and put everything on you when your brother confronted her. It's a cop out, but it's easier for him to pin it on you versus her. Her being closer to age to you, I bet she does have a crush or at least some kind of attraction to you.

[00:05:20] And it came out when she was drunk. If she didn't lie, I wouldn't think that, but the lying means she's tried to cover up feelings maybe. Edit info. Has she flirted in the past? OP says, I never thought about it actually, and nothing really sticks out. She's obsessed with K-pop and I am half Korean, so she's made comments to me, but I didn't interpret them as flirting. I thought she was just trying to be nice and didn't know how else to connect, but I shared about the whole being adopted thing.

[00:05:49] When she's sober, she's more awkward and shy. My brother lives with my mum, so usually when I visit and we're talking, my mum and brother are around too, and it's more of a family vibe. Quotable says, not the arsehole, what I don't get is why you would even want to attend the wedding. Strained relationship, he does not see you as a brother, the not your mum's jabs, his relationship does not seem to be on very stable footing, and they become more and more erratic. You should put as much polite distance between you and your brother

[00:06:19] slash his relationship for your own peace of mind. He seems to have already singled you out as the future scapegoat. Opie replies saying, this one hurts. I think I needed to hear it though. You're not wrong. I guess I'm just always trying to understand him and I need to stop doing that, especially when he's not giving me that same kind of understanding. I thought we could get back to the relationship we had before, but it's not looking like it's getting any better. So Opie came in with their update and said,

[00:06:47] after trying to reach out to my brother, he finally came around and stopped ignoring me. He didn't want to talk about what happened, but was willing to put it behind us. To be honest, I think talking about it would have been healthier, but I decided to let it go because he was so adamant. Then just the other day, he came to me on his own and admit that he feels unsure about his relationship and is struggling to trust his fiancee ever since the incident on my birthday. I told him there's no rush to get married and he should take time to figure out what he's feeling.

[00:07:17] I didn't try to give any particular opinion because I feel this is something he needs to figure out for himself. Also, I genuinely don't know what's going on between them. He still took what I said the wrong way somehow and we ended up having an argument. He thinks I'm not happy for him and don't want to see him successful slash starting a family. I tried to walk away at this point in the conversation because no matter what I said, it was just going to get misconstrued, but he didn't want to stop fighting.

[00:07:45] Somewhere in that, I finally learned why he's so mad at me these days. It turns out he's pissed that our mum paid for my tuition. I've been doing overtime to pay her back. Clarification, if it matters, she doesn't actually want me to pay her back. It was a gift, but I'd like to pay her back slowly. My brother feels this money should have been given to him for his wedding, which I'm no longer invited to. I don't really know how to fix things, but that's where we're at. Shadow4Summer says not the arsehole.

[00:08:15] She assaulted you. Your brother should be mad at her, not you. Probably best just to go no contact, at least for a while. EquivalentGap says not the arsehole. Your brother is a jealous arsehole and his girlfriend is a creep. I doubt their relationship will last until the wedding, but if it does, I bet the wedding will be a drunken mess. You sound like a good person. Take care of yourself and your mum and leave your brother to deal with his problems. Hopefully one day he will grow up and want a better relationship with both of you.

[00:08:43] That's so incredibly frustrating. OP sounds like such a good brother, someone that you would love in your corner. But it just felt like brother came up to OP to put it behind them just so he could dump all his troubles with his relationship back on OP again. And when OP gives good advice, he gets turned around on OP again and OP's treated like shit. I would definitely be saying low contact or no contact at this point while you can. Take a step back from it.

[00:09:12] This dude treats you like shit and gives nothing back whatsoever by the sounds of it. But what do you guys make of this situation? Let us know your thoughts down in the comments below and let's move on to another story. Now our next story comes from the Am I Overreacting from Babi Mish who says, Am I overreacting? I30 female found out my boyfriend, 36 male, has been secretly texting his ex-girlfriend behind my back

[00:09:41] and lying to me about it for weeks. Yesterday, I had an amazing day with my boyfriend. It was the first real day of our week vacation that I planned and organized for his birthday. As we're on our way to dinner, he suddenly wanted to go through my phone. Out of nowhere, he starts going through messages from months before I ever met him, questioning who everyone is. Mind you, I've never cheated on him or talked to anyone behind his back. In fact, when my ex reached out a few times,

[00:10:10] I openly told him about it as soon as it happened and asked him how he'd like me to proceed. Anyways, after going through all that, he checks my recently deleted texts. He is not text savvy, so I asked him how he knew that existed, at which point he began stumbling over his words. I asked him if he'd been deleting messages and then deleting them from recently deleted. He said no. A little background. My boyfriend has an ex he broke up with right before meeting me.

[00:10:39] And when he blocked her months into being with me, she began emailing in non-stop horrible things. These were many times a day, multiple times a week. About five and a half weeks ago, his ex abruptly stopped emailing. I found this extremely weird and I began questioning him if he'd talked to her. He started acting weird with his phone, being secretive. My anxiety peaked. I must have asked him over a dozen times if he was being honest with me about everything and if there's anything I needed to know.

[00:11:09] Hell, I even voiced that I need to make my sessions in therapy more often because I have no idea why my anxiety is so high. All the while, he played the supportive boyfriend doing nothing wrong. Well, after he went through my phone, I asked him if I emailed her, would the story line up? He assured me it would. Then while at dinner, he stepped away to the bathroom. When he came back, I made a bitter comment. What, did you go in there to warn her to get your story straight? He assured me no, he hasn't spoken to her in months.

[00:11:40] Lol. Later that night, we make up and we're lying in bed and I ask him, so you swear you haven't talked to her? I swear. On your family? Silence. This is when I knew. I told him he needed to tell me everything, at which point he was silent for about 15 minutes. You can imagine my anxiety. Finally, finally, he admitted that he did talk to her, just once to give her closure. I'm freaking out. How could you lie to me?

[00:12:09] I don't believe it was just that once. When was the last time, et cetera? All the while, he's saying just the once and it was right after the email stopped. He swears. Then I look at my phone. What do I have? An Instagram request message from his ex saying that he told her I was going to email, but she hasn't received anything. Oh man, I lost it. I told him to tell me everything because obviously he was still lying. He wouldn't. So I packed my bags

[00:12:38] and got a sketch ass hotel and slept there with my bags against the door. Talked to his ex this morning. She was trying to cover his back and he hers. Turns out they've been talking. What about, who knows, for weeks? The most recent time, aside from when he was in the bathroom, was a week before our trip when she wished him happy birthday and they chatted about this trip. Allegedly, she said she could disappear. But did he take her up on that? Nope. The guy thinks he was a good guy

[00:13:07] for making amends with her while gaslighting me and lying and making me feel like I'm just an overly anxious person. Which I'm not when I'm in an environment that's true. What's crazy is, my intuition knew and I was literally having dreams about him talking to her. All the while, he was constantly assuring me. I don't know if there's any way past this. Am I overreacting? Now look, you're not overreacting in this situation.

[00:13:34] There's plenty of red flags to be had here. And for me, it all comes down to that trust. He's just proven that you can't trust him. So what else is there to build on this relationship? Absolutely nothing.

[00:14:17] No roof says, Meanwhile, his ex is still messaging me and telling me I've hurt her today. I dropped her the link to this and told her I hope she feels good about herself then blocked her. Maybe I'm a fucking idiot and maybe I'm petty. But I'm so fucking hurt and couldn't care less if I hurt her feelings by being honest. She's a snake. He's a snake. And I'm a fucking mouse stuck in this cabin. ML says, not overreacting. You know why he needed to go through your phone? Because he got paranoid.

[00:14:46] Because he was doing sketchy shit behind your back. It's never innocent texting if he needed to hide it. The first thing he should have done when asking to go through your phone is give his to you to go through. Not only did he not do that, he wouldn't give you his. So he has a right to go through yours. But not the other way around. How on earth is that fair? He lied to you several times over and over. First when you asked how he knew about the deleted messages. Then the contact with her. Then the bathroom and on and on it went.

[00:15:16] How much lying is he going to do? Can you ever really trust him again? Opie says, actually, he has given it to me. And I looked, but he's been notoriously deleting the messages and covering his tracks. Apparently there were 15 to 30 minute phone calls too. I posted this because I genuinely didn't know how others would view this. But it's overwhelming that I'm clearly in the right. My heart feels like it's been ripped out of my chest. So Opie comes in with their update and says, so my original post

[00:15:46] got deleted. I was assuming because his ex reported it, but who knows? I can post it on the bottom of this after I get the shit show that's come forth off my chest. So as most of you kept up, no, I had to stay a day and one night in the cabin with him. He wouldn't leave me alone. Kept apologizing and asking if I can forgive him. He didn't even let me sleep in the bed. After I expressed he can take the floor or the couch. So I took the couch. We left the next morning.

[00:16:15] It was a seven hour car ride full of him attempting to apologize, saying how he doesn't know how he could ruin this. He should have told me about trying to tie it up with her and we should have handled it together. That he didn't know why he does this to people. He is ashamed and a shitty arsehole. That he hopes I can forgive him. Fast forward and we're home. He won't leave my house. He stayed with me most of the night and kept asking me to forgive him. Says he doesn't know what the fuck happened to him and he feels like it was in a trance

[00:16:44] at the cabin. Claims he has no idea why he defended his psycho ex. At this point I even kind of believe she was a bit psychotic. Like true definition wise. Not in a demeaning way. Oi, was I manipulated. After a movie he finally left and this morning he sent me a screenshot of him signing up for therapy. Said this is special and he really saw us being forever. Doesn't know why he did it and he'll never speak to her again. Swears he's sorry and we'll work through everything

[00:17:14] considering giving me full access to his Apple ID and online accounts. Then he said he was going to the gym. Then his parents because he needed to clear his head. Well, while he's at his parents I got a very long email from his ex about an hour ago uncovering the extent that they've been talking. Turns out the whole time by the way and the amount of lies and manipulation is truly the worst thing I've ever experienced personally from any man. She told me the entire story from the very beginning

[00:17:44] and it was full of things that only he and I should ever know about with a little twist in the way he painted me. So I know she can't be lying about most of it. I'm in actual shock right now. I'm sitting on my couch and I start to cry and then I just feel numb. I mean this guy is possibly the scariest man I've ever let into my life. The extent of his lies and deceit is insane. I genuinely don't even have the capacity to go into depth right now. His ex and I are exchanging emails

[00:18:13] and it just gets deeper and deeper. I mean this is like the type of lying and behavior you only read about in psych books which I assume means psycho books. I mean he hits every point of an arc and everything that defines a sociopath. I can't believe I let someone like this into my life and was still considering believing him. Holy shit. I sent him screenshots of what he sent me and told him to never reach out to me again. He literally tried to pick specific things out and say that she was lying

[00:18:42] and he's so sorry she would say that to me claiming he never said things she claims and that she's still sprinkling in lies. I'm running far away. Absolutely run far away and keep that personality or life and I don't want to tip it over the edge but I think it's always better to be safe than sorry right and changing your locks and all that kind of stuff and I'm only saying that based on stories that we've read in the past. Of course most of the time we always see like the worst of the worst in these stories

[00:19:11] but I could never see this relationship working out just because of the lack of trust and I know people can build it back up over time and people do but I think for myself I just don't know how you'd get past that in the end but what do you guys think of this? Let us know your thoughts down in the comments below. Now just a huge thank you from the bottom of my heart for getting involved in today's stories your love your support your time always means the absolute world to me so thank you so so much and hopefully I'll see you in the next one. Take care

[00:19:41] and much love and much love and make a like in the next one I'll see you and I'll see you