My Sister Confessed Her Love To My Husband On My Wedding Day r/Relationships

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[00:00:52] Today's first story comes from a throwaway account from the amitharsallhere subreddit

[00:00:56] and says

[00:00:57] Am I the arsehole here for wanting to expose my sister to her husband after she confessed

[00:01:02] to my husband on her wedding day?

[00:01:06] Sorry for the confusing title.

[00:01:07] I didn't know how to word it in any other way.

[00:01:11] I 24F have been married to my husband 27M for about 2 years.

[00:01:16] My sister 26F and her husband 26M are high school sweethearts.

[00:01:22] My sister and I have always been close, despite the small age gap.

[00:01:26] She acted like my second mother so I never doubted her in anything.

[00:01:30] Let's call her Jane.

[00:01:33] My husband, let's call him Bob, and I met at uni.

[00:01:35] I was 20 and he was 23.

[00:01:37] He excelled in both academics, sports, and looks and was well known around campus because

[00:01:43] of that so obviously I had a crush on him.

[00:01:47] Jane also attended the same uni.

[00:01:49] Because I was new she included me into her big circle of friends and he was a part of

[00:01:53] that.

[00:01:54] I never made a move because I respected Jane and her friends.

[00:01:58] I didn't want to cause any trouble or make things awkward.

[00:02:01] She meant the world to me.

[00:02:04] Eventually though Bob and I became close friends.

[00:02:06] I grew to like him more.

[00:02:08] I also noticed that Jane rarely interacted with him, which was odd considering she was

[00:02:13] close to almost everyone in her circle but I never said anything.

[00:02:18] I did end up telling her that I liked him though.

[00:02:20] She told me not to get my hopes up because he wasn't interested in any relationship.

[00:02:25] I was crushed but tried to see him as a friend.

[00:02:28] He ended up confessing to me on my 21st birthday and we began dating, which obviously resulted

[00:02:34] in marriage and here we are now.

[00:02:37] During the entire time we were dating Jane started to distance herself from me.

[00:02:42] We did have a talk about it when Bob and I first started dating and I told her I'd break

[00:02:47] up with him if she wasn't comfortable with it considering he's her friend but she rejected

[00:02:52] the idea.

[00:02:53] She hugged me and said she was happy for me so I took her words for it.

[00:02:57] She still distanced herself though.

[00:02:59] Her husband, boyfriend at the time, we call him Jim.

[00:03:03] He didn't attend uni but his dad has a small construction business that he works at.

[00:03:08] Jim's a good man.

[00:03:09] He did everything for Jane but due to our culture women can't leave the family house

[00:03:14] until marriage so Jane and I still lived with our parents then.

[00:03:19] So when Jim saved up enough money to buy a house he proposed to Jane and she said yes.

[00:03:25] Fast forward a year and Bob proposed.

[00:03:27] I said yes.

[00:03:29] Up until now all Jane had done was distance herself from me but when I sat my family down

[00:03:34] and told them the news she cried.

[00:03:37] I thought she was crying from happiness until my mom told me that I should have taken my

[00:03:41] sister's feelings into consideration before telling them.

[00:03:44] It was odd.

[00:03:45] It seemed like no one was happy.

[00:03:48] My mom took Jane to her room but my dad stayed.

[00:03:51] He told me that Jane was having a hard time with Jim and I believed him.

[00:03:56] Since then Jane distanced herself more from me.

[00:03:59] When I tried to speak to her she replied curtly and when I brought it up with my mom she said

[00:04:04] that she's going through a hard time so I shouldn't make it worse so I left her alone.

[00:04:09] That was until Bob confessed that Jane had been texting him consistently for the past

[00:04:13] few weeks.

[00:04:14] He showed me the text.

[00:04:16] She asked if she could call or meet him.

[00:04:18] She'd also attempt to text him late at night.

[00:04:21] The last one was when she sent photos of her in revealing dresses and asked him to choose

[00:04:26] the prettiest.

[00:04:27] That's when he decided to tell me about it.

[00:04:30] Before anyone says anything, no.

[00:04:32] Bob didn't lead her on.

[00:04:34] His texts were dry and frankly if I wasn't so upset with my sister I'd say rude.

[00:04:40] He felt uncomfortable but decided to put up with it because she was my sister.

[00:04:44] She also admitted that Jane had confessed to him years ago but he rejected her.

[00:04:48] It felt like everything was falling into place when he told me that.

[00:04:52] I was so hurt by her I immediately confronted her when I got home.

[00:04:56] I thought she'd at least be ashamed but she said that I stole him from her.

[00:05:01] What's worse is that my mom sided with her.

[00:05:04] I've always had a feeling she was my mom's favorite but she was my favorite too.

[00:05:09] It made sense everyone loved Jane.

[00:05:12] I loved her too but she betrayed me in the worst way possible.

[00:05:15] She even said she hated me and didn't want to see me again.

[00:05:19] No one sided with me so I packed my things and left.

[00:05:25] My dad told me that I shouldn't leave because it's not appropriate for an unmarried girl

[00:05:28] to leave her parents house.

[00:05:30] My mom even called me a whore for leaving to go to Bob's place.

[00:05:35] That hurt a lot.

[00:05:36] It took a long time for me to get over what they did.

[00:05:39] When I think about it, it still stings.

[00:05:42] Bob and I lived together before marriage.

[00:05:44] I also cut contact with my family and Bob and I got married without inviting anyone from

[00:05:48] my side aside from a few close relatives.

[00:05:51] It was a lovely wedding by the way.

[00:05:53] But a week ago my cousin told me Jane had a wedding.

[00:05:57] I guess she went ahead with it.

[00:06:00] Today though Bob showed me a message he got on Instagram from her.

[00:06:03] He hadn't seen it because it was in the request section but it dated back to a week ago.

[00:06:09] She confessed to him again and told him she'd make him happier than me if he gave her a

[00:06:13] chance to.

[00:06:14] I'm upset.

[00:06:16] Really upset.

[00:06:17] He screenshotted it and blocked her and asked if it was okay to send it to Jim but I said

[00:06:21] no.

[00:06:22] I don't know why.

[00:06:23] Jim deserves better but I just don't want to deal with her anymore.

[00:06:27] I can't take it.

[00:06:28] I feel so guilty to keep this away from Jim.

[00:06:31] However, I don't want this to blow up in my face especially when Bob and I have been

[00:06:35] living so peacefully now.

[00:06:38] We do have an edit in a moment and an update as well.

[00:06:42] Oh wow.

[00:06:43] I feel like incredibly bad for Jim in this situation.

[00:06:47] You know you said he's a good guy and he's just being strung along.

[00:06:51] And you know he just deserves so much better.

[00:06:54] I know it's difficult because you know I'm sat here reading their story behind a microphone

[00:06:59] I'm seeing a very small part of your life and who in reality really wants to invite

[00:07:03] drama into their lives.

[00:07:05] But you said yourself that you're pretty much no contact with your family now anyway.

[00:07:10] So I think there is the potential to let Jim know and you know just block the rest of the

[00:07:14] family because you are no contact with them anyway and they've all treated you pretty

[00:07:19] badly.

[00:07:20] And I was kind of thinking from like your husband's point of view maybe I know you're

[00:07:26] saying you're no contact potentially blocked already but just give me that final message

[00:07:31] of saying like I am not interested leave me alone.

[00:07:35] Because she said it sounds like she's held on to this I can only call it an obsession

[00:07:39] for a long time now and at this point I can't see just blocking her is going to change her

[00:07:45] mind either.

[00:07:46] But Winterfront says wow she is desperate and you can't steal him from her if he didn't

[00:07:52] want her.

[00:07:53] He had years before you to pursue something with her but he never did.

[00:07:56] You really should set her straight and then block her.

[00:07:59] Yes I have many opportunities to pursue something with you before your name and I didn't because

[00:08:05] I wasn't interested then and I certainly ain't interested now.

[00:08:08] You're embarrassing yourself and I quite frankly feel sorry for you that you have lost

[00:08:12] your baby sister because you thought I was some prize to claim.

[00:08:15] I've tried to be nice about this but now you are just being damn right disrespectful

[00:08:20] to me and my wife so I'll spell it out.

[00:08:22] I don't want you never have never will and if you message me again I will send everything

[00:08:27] to Jim.

[00:08:28] Then block but I'd send everything to him anyway.

[00:08:31] Poor guy is a back up and he doesn't know it.

[00:08:34] Save him from wasting any more of his time.

[00:08:38] Carolina Mama says you said it yourself Jim deserves better.

[00:08:41] You already didn't talk to your family what blow up are you expecting of you telling Jim?

[00:08:47] She's going to hurt him in the long run.

[00:08:50] Release says not the arsehole your biological family is trash.

[00:08:54] If your sister and mother show up at your door when you need police take pictures of

[00:08:58] the police escorting them away for being the trashy criminal wannabes they are.

[00:09:03] You can send that picture to other relatives that your sister and mother are behaving like

[00:09:07] criminals.

[00:09:08] Peach in life says and quotes Opie saying my dad told me that I shouldn't leave because

[00:09:13] it's not appropriate for an unmarried girl to leave her parents house and then says it's

[00:09:18] also not appropriate for a mother to call her daughter a whore for no good reason and it's

[00:09:22] also not appropriate for you to live in a house where you're being abused in favor

[00:09:25] of your mother's golden child.

[00:09:28] Your dad could have stepped in on your behalf and put a stop to it and he chose not to and

[00:09:32] by choosing that he chose your sister too.

[00:09:36] Screw them all and if your husband sends that stuff to Jim and I would unblock her and

[00:09:40] let her send more.

[00:09:41] That's none of your business.

[00:09:43] She's been sexually harassing him since long before you married and has continued after

[00:09:48] she got married.

[00:09:49] I don't see why Jim should be the only one in the dark.

[00:09:52] In my opinion he should have been told before you married her in the first place.

[00:09:57] Canyon says not the asshole.

[00:09:59] I can understand your hesitancy however Jim deserves to know the truth of the woman he's

[00:10:03] married.

[00:10:04] He thinks he's married the love of his life who wants to be with him when in reality he's

[00:10:08] married a woman that can't get over a crush from school and would rather cut her own sister

[00:10:12] off than be normal.

[00:10:14] Your sister and family have already hurt you, they've already been horrible to you.

[00:10:18] Unblock them, don't answer the door for them.

[00:10:21] They don't deserve a second of your time.

[00:10:24] Let your husband tell Jim the truth, you don't have to get involved past that.

[00:10:28] So first OP edited the post after the comments and says thank you all for the solid advice

[00:10:34] both on this post and my other post.

[00:10:36] I think deep down I was still attached to the family who raised me, especially my sister.

[00:10:41] The comments are giving me a reality check for those asking what I meant by this blowing

[00:10:46] up in my face.

[00:10:47] I know my sister, I'm afraid she'll come to my house with my mom and escalate things

[00:10:52] to the point a police is needed.

[00:10:54] But I also understand that she'll keep harassing my husband and ruining Jim's life further

[00:10:58] if we keep quiet.

[00:11:00] I took your advice and told Bob he could contact Jim if he wanted.

[00:11:04] He said he'll think about it so I'm leaving it at that for now.

[00:11:08] Personally knowing his personality he probably already sent it to Jim even after I said no.

[00:11:13] But I'll wait to see what happens.

[00:11:15] Thanks again and if anything happens I'll update.

[00:11:51] Everyone knows therapy is great for solving problems.

[00:11:53] But getting therapy has its own problems too.

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[00:12:18] That's BetterHelp.

[00:12:19] H-E-L-P.

[00:12:24] So OP comes in with the update and says hi, I just wanted to make a small update.

[00:12:29] As I thought Bob sent the message to Jim even when I told him not to.

[00:12:32] He also screen recorded the message to prove that it came from her account.

[00:12:37] Which I didn't know he did.

[00:12:38] At least one of us is smart.

[00:12:40] Anyway, I won't go into too much detail but Jim didn't reply until last night.

[00:12:45] He called Bob and then had a long chat.

[00:12:48] Apparently when Jim confronted Jane she tried to blame Bob for coming on to her.

[00:12:52] They had a fight and she left to stay with our parents.

[00:12:55] I know a lot of you told me to send the screenshot to my parents.

[00:12:59] I did.

[00:13:00] I sent it to my dad, not my mom.

[00:13:02] I'm sorry but I can't still find the strength to talk to her and I don't think I ever will.

[00:13:07] My dad said he and mom will deal with it and not to tell anyone what Jane did.

[00:13:12] I feel worse now for even thinking he'd side with me lol.

[00:13:16] For anyone wondering whether Bob sent Jim the old messages from Jane years ago.

[00:13:21] He didn't.

[00:13:22] He bought a new phone right after we cut contact.

[00:13:24] So he doesn't have them anymore.

[00:13:26] I don't know if Jim will divorce or annul Jane but he told Bob not to contact him anymore.

[00:13:32] So I think we did our parts already.

[00:13:35] Thankfully she hasn't come to my house but I did take your advice about installing cameras.

[00:13:39] We'll be doing that next week.

[00:13:42] Thank you for all the help.

[00:13:43] You guys are right.

[00:13:44] Bob is my new family so I'm not going to think about Jane or my parents anymore.

[00:13:49] We're having dinner at his parents tonight so I'm rushing writing this lol.

[00:13:54] Thank you again and I hope you all have a good day.

[00:13:57] And a couple of top comments after that one.

[00:13:59] First one said you deserve better.

[00:14:01] I'm glad to hear you have Bob though.

[00:14:02] He sounds like a great partner.

[00:14:05] Next comment says don't let them silence you and continue to enable their daughter.

[00:14:09] Make sure everyone knows exactly who and what these people are.

[00:14:12] You're paying it forward so no one else is victimized.

[00:14:15] And a final comment says adding to this your dad just wants to protect his daughter, not

[00:14:20] you, his other daughter by telling you not to tell anyone.

[00:14:24] I would still suggest telling people because what if they try to change the story now to

[00:14:28] minimize the damage your sister did to you or make you look bad in front of mutual friends

[00:14:32] or family.

[00:14:33] The whole family could lie and say you knew the sister had a crush on Bob this whole time

[00:14:38] since high school or scrutinize the beginnings of your relationship.

[00:14:41] To name a few examples of how your reputation could be called into question.

[00:14:46] If a husband annuls, can you trust that your sister won't lose her shit and try doing

[00:14:50] whatever possible to make you feel or look bad in your relationship?

[00:14:54] I'm sorry but your dad's word isn't to be trusted either.

[00:14:57] Opie says I don't trust his words either.

[00:15:00] There's nothing more I can do.

[00:15:02] Genuinely I'm very tired.

[00:15:03] I don't really care about my reputation nor what my extended family thinks because

[00:15:08] I don't interact with them anyway.

[00:15:10] As for Jane, if she tries anything, we'd just get a restraining order.

[00:15:13] Thank you for your concerns though.

[00:15:16] You mentioned many valid points.

[00:15:19] I get Opie where they're coming from in that last comment where they just said they're

[00:15:23] tired.

[00:15:24] Family drama and stuff like that can absolutely wipe you out and you just want nothing to

[00:15:28] do with it anymore.

[00:15:31] But I also felt the same way as that comment said about dad's reaction to it.

[00:15:36] Don't tell anyone.

[00:15:37] I'm not saying Opie should go around and spread it around, check the screenshots everywhere

[00:15:43] but to actively hide her behaviour and enable her behaviour is just carrying down the same

[00:15:51] path.

[00:15:52] But Opie wants nothing to do with them anymore.

[00:15:54] Opie's out of that situation and hopefully it will continue that way and they'll just

[00:15:59] be able to continue to live their life with their husband because I honestly can't blame

[00:16:02] them at all for separating themselves from that shit.

[00:16:06] But what do you guys make of this situation?

[00:16:08] Let me know your thoughts down in the comments below and let's move on to another story.

[00:16:15] And our next story comes from the Am I the Asshole Here subreddit that says,

[00:16:19] Am I the asshole for breaking up with my boyfriend because he ripped my jeans in public?

[00:16:25] My boyfriend uploads various pranks he makes with his friends to TikTok.

[00:16:32] From the beginning I asked him not to include me in his pranks and that I didn't want my

[00:16:36] face to appear in any of his videos.

[00:16:39] Sometimes I help him record or edit videos but that's all.

[00:16:42] Two days ago at night we were going to buy some things with his friends.

[00:16:47] Before we went we had sex and we were late.

[00:16:50] We went down to the car while I finished dressing.

[00:16:53] I couldn't find my panty so I just put on my jeans.

[00:16:56] When we arrived at the place his friends were already there.

[00:17:00] Nothing was going normally until we reached the hallway.

[00:17:03] My boyfriend and one of his friends grabbed my back pockets and pulled in pretty hard

[00:17:06] and tore my jeans completely.

[00:17:08] When my boyfriend realized I wasn't wearing panties he started yelling at me and then

[00:17:13] proceeded to give me his sweater.

[00:17:15] When we got to his house I had to call my brother to bring me some clothes.

[00:17:19] I told him we were breaking up and then I left.

[00:17:22] The day he came to my house to talk and started calling me exaggerated and that it was my

[00:17:27] fault for not wearing panties and that he is the one who should be angry because thanks

[00:17:31] to that fact I was not wearing panties.

[00:17:33] His friends saw my butt and I the asshole.

[00:17:37] I absolutely break up with this guy.

[00:17:39] At some point they've thought about this plan.

[00:17:42] They planned this and at no point in their mind they've gone, you know this is a fucking

[00:17:48] stupid thing to do.

[00:17:49] Why are we considering doing this?

[00:17:51] Dude's got so many red flags.

[00:17:54] He decided to include you in his pranks even though you asked him not to, telling you it's

[00:17:59] your fault, gaslighting basically, humiliating you in public, destroying your jeans.

[00:18:06] But not woke bloke says coming from my adult male perspective, ripping anyone's jeans

[00:18:11] in public is not funny, especially your significant other's jeans.

[00:18:15] It shows disregard for concern, lack of respect, childish behavior.

[00:18:19] It shows he is more interested in seeking validation or attention or money from others

[00:18:23] and less about honoring his relationship with you.

[00:18:27] Find a better guy, they do exist, maybe he'll learn his lesson for the next gal, hopefully.

[00:18:34] P Street says not the asshole, firstly you asked him not to include you in pranks and

[00:18:38] he ignored that.

[00:18:40] This means he isn't respectful of your boundaries or even as a person, he doesn't respect you.

[00:18:45] Secondly, something that embarrassed you was not about him yet he made it about himself.

[00:18:50] Main character syndrome much?

[00:18:51] You weren't wearing panties and his problem was that his friend saw you without panties

[00:18:55] when he didn't notice after sex that your panties were missing.

[00:18:59] Him blaming you for everything shows lack of accountability on his part.

[00:19:03] Add to that people who prank are incredibly immature.

[00:19:07] Leaving everything aside, even if the prank had gone well and you were wearing panties

[00:19:11] it would have been disrespecting your boundaries and would honestly still be bad.

[00:19:15] And not to exclude the ruining of a perfectly normal pair of jeans.

[00:19:20] What a waste.

[00:19:22] And there was a lot of people suspecting that he hid the undies but a couple of days later

[00:19:27] OP comes in with their update which says

[00:19:31] My boyfriend came to talk to me this afternoon after getting off work.

[00:19:35] I didn't want to talk to him but he insisted so I let him talk.

[00:19:39] He apologized to me.

[00:19:41] He said he didn't want to throw away our 5 years of relationship for something really

[00:19:44] stupid and not worth it.

[00:19:47] He meant making pranks and posting them on TikTok.

[00:19:50] That he knows that his behavior has changed too much in the last year and a half and that

[00:19:54] he really regrets it.

[00:19:56] He said that he wanted to be with me and that he was even going to ask me to marry him for

[00:20:00] our anniversary which is in June and that he already has the ring since December.

[00:20:05] He said he grabbed my panties and hid them for himself.

[00:20:08] He would make fun of me saying something like, look what I just found and then he would

[00:20:13] use them to do indecent things.

[00:20:15] The prank was not planned.

[00:20:18] My boyfriend's friends convinced him about 5 minutes before.

[00:20:21] He forgot that he hid my panties and that's why he reacted by yelling at me.

[00:20:25] When he came to my house yesterday blaming me, he said it was because he was embarrassed

[00:20:30] and desperate about how I would react.

[00:20:32] He asked me for another chance.

[00:20:34] He also said he would stop joking completely.

[00:20:38] Furthermore, he said that if necessary, he would distance himself from his friends completely.

[00:20:42] But I really don't know what to do.

[00:20:44] I asked him for time to think about it but I really don't know.

[00:20:48] I really love him but he exceeded the limits I set for him regarding pranks and he let

[00:20:52] himself be convinced by his friends.

[00:21:08] The dude is just desperately backtracking now.

[00:21:11] Going down the old, I was going to ask you to marry me which I've already got the ring

[00:21:15] for etc.

[00:21:16] If that's not going to be a prank as well.

[00:21:19] Come June he might get down on one knee and then pull out a ring pop.

[00:21:23] Which I've seen in these clips as well.

[00:21:25] Just be done with that.

[00:21:26] Move on.

[00:21:27] You deserve better.

[00:21:28] And well, hopefully he'll learn some kind of lesson from this.

[00:21:31] I doubt it very much.

[00:21:33] But what do you guys make of this situation?

[00:21:36] Let me know your thoughts down in the comments below.