My Parents Charged Me Rent And Then Presented It Back As A Uni Gift At My Graduation r/Relationships

[00:00:03] Hey hey Waffle Gang I do hope you are well, my name is Mark and today we're checking out some more Reddit stories and if you do love a Reddit story why not consider hitting that like subscribe maybe that notification bell too and let's crack on with today's first

[00:00:17] story. Much love guys. Now today's first story comes from NoFishing4775 from the Am I The Arsehole subreddit and says Am I the arsehole here for telling my parents to keep all the money they stole from me while I was in university and shove it up their arse.

[00:00:35] What a title. I got a job while I was in high school, it was with a friend of my father. I put away most of it and just bought myself some stuff I wanted but my parents wouldn't buy for me.

[00:00:46] My parents aren't rich but they do well enough. They wanted me to appreciate that material goods were paid for with my time. I didn't mind. I bought myself a PS4 and some games, which they made me share with my younger brother and sister. Once again, I didn't mind.

[00:01:04] I mostly played while they did homework or slept. While I graduated from high school they said I had to start paying rent. That sucked because I was going to university in the fall and I was hoping to save up over

[00:01:16] the summer so I could work less during the school year. So I worked my arse off in school and at work. I ended up getting a job loading delivery trucks before school.

[00:01:26] That sucked because I went to sleep at 7pm most nights so I could get up early and go to work. I'm about to graduate and I found a job in another province. I have already started doing my onboarding and online training.

[00:01:39] I will go from graduation to loading my car to leave. My parents had a graduation party for me where they tried to present me with a check for all the rent I paid plus a pittance in interest.

[00:01:51] I looked at the check for about a minute and I started laughing. All I could think of was the fact that I had no social life during university because I was working. I didn't have any money in investments like my friends did because they were taking my money.

[00:02:07] I asked them how they were doing this for my sister. They said they weren't since she wasn't working while she went to school. I tore up the check and told them to shove it up their arses.

[00:02:17] I told them that when they compensated me for all the sleep I lost, 4 years of no social life during university and 4 summer vacations I would speak to them again. I told my little brother not to get a job or they would fuck him over too.

[00:02:30] I went to my room, grabbed my computer, some clothes, my PS4 and my toiletries. My brother and sister can play on the PS5 my parents bought the family. They were yelling at me the whole time.

[00:02:41] I said if they touched me or tried to stop me I would call the cops. I loaded up my car that I paid for, I insure and it's registered to me. I drove to my friends parents house and had a bit of a breakdown.

[00:02:54] They let me stay there since she is away at university in another city. I blocked my parents and my brother and sister. I had already given notice at my job so I called my boss and told him I was sick and

[00:03:06] would not be available for my last week. He said he understood and laughed. He said he was surprised I had kept working this close to graduation. My grandfather called me to talk a couple of days later. We went to Timmy's and he let me unload everything I felt.

[00:03:21] They took money from me that I could have used to make my life better. I didn't even have the time for a girlfriend. My entire university romantic life was hooking up with a woman I worked with where her ex husband had the kids for the weekend.

[00:03:35] He said my parents hearts were in the right place and that they thought they were helping me. He said they owed me 4 years of fun, of parties I was too tired to go to, of social events and networking I didn't do.

[00:03:48] All the shit they were subsidizing for my sister and that they would end up subsidizing for my brother. He said he understood and hugged me. He is old but I couldn't have got free of that hug if I tried.

[00:03:59] He asked me if I needed money to start my new job. I said I didn't want anything that came from my parents. He gave me a cashier's check for about 3 times what my parents took from me. He said to use it however I wanted in my new life.

[00:04:12] He said it wasn't a part of my inheritance or anything, it was a gift from him and something my grandma would have wanted me to have. My friends think I was stupid to tear up the check. Most of them agree with me about being pissed at my parents.

[00:04:26] Some family have called me to say I behaved terribly and I owe my parents an apology. I thank them for the call or message and block them. I'm calmer now and I do not think I'm in the wrong but maybe I'm too close to see what I'm missing.

[00:04:39] Am I the asshole here? So the first comment in this one was from Fishon again who said make sure you keep the lines of communication with grandpa. He's going to be there for you when you need an objective ear.

[00:04:50] I'm 40 years old and would do anything to have that back. This may all eventually blow over or not. Stay true to yourself, it's gotten you this far and that's pretty awesome. Another commenter says not the asshole in the least.

[00:05:04] There's a line between teaching the child the value of hard work vs grinding them into the ground. $750 a month in rent that they did not need is cruel and unkind and meanwhile they were buying PS5s for the family.

[00:05:17] So it's clear that this lesson they claim you needed to learn isn't one they feel the younger kids need. Work isn't inherently good. My spouse's neck and knees are permanently fucked up from low wage work his parents insisted he get to build his character.

[00:05:32] He's in pain every day and will be for the rest of his life but hey he got a job. Being puritan attitudes like that need to die. I'm sorry your parents tried to teach you responsibly in the worst way possible.

[00:05:44] GTA and I'm seeing from your other comments that you paid your own tuition and that they made you buy your own food. I'm genuinely in awe that you managed to graduate at all. Full time school, full time work and full time self care is so hard.

[00:06:01] I can only imagine how their draconian methods hurt your grades and networking which can sometimes be more valuable than the degree itself. I wish you all the best in the future. Please know that your best years are ahead of you and there's still so much joy to experience.

[00:06:16] Never let anyone convince you that just because some people have it hard, you therefore deserve to have it hard as well. You deserve loved ones who try to make your life better, not abusers who erect unnecessary obstacles to haze you.

[00:06:29] The Mapsmith says whatever weird justification they may have brewed up in their minds for treating you like this isn't worth the social head start your co-students had compared to you. Your past four years consisted of studying, working and sleeping while theirs to a huge

[00:06:42] degree consisted of partying, making friends, networking, hooking up i.e. all the things you really, to a degree, only get a chance to do in college and they had you do it without any particular pressing need. Don't be so effing pissed like UOP.

[00:06:58] You were well within your moral rights to tell them to go to hell, especially given the different treatment your siblings are getting, and to go no contact with them immediately. Another commenter says so you chose to stay there under those circumstances, didn't move

[00:07:12] out, continued to pay the rent, had the option to move elsewhere on a campus. And how many times did you discuss this with your parents those four years? You said provinces, are we talking Canada? Minimum wage is what, lowest province $14 an hour with average take home being 75% so

[00:07:30] your parents made you get a job that you had to work a minimum of 20ish hours a week if you never got a raise? You worked less than me, for many people I knew worked through college, but you'd be

[00:07:40] given the opportunity to be given back that what $36,000 at graduation and grandpa handed you a check for three times that, so a graduation gift of $100,000. You're living a privileged life kid, with benefits you don't understand. I think you're whining here.

[00:07:58] And one more comment which gives another alternative opinion which is from tall outside who says you're the arsehole, you are young and think you're in a sprint, but you're in a marathon that's probably going to last another 60 years.

[00:08:09] Your parents made some mistakes, but they were trying to do you a favor by helping you get started in the rest of your life. They're probably really proud of you for having a strong work ethic and working your way through college while paying rent.

[00:08:22] Maybe they could have been a little more sensitive to your emotional needs, but they don't deserve the contempt you're sending their way. Why wouldn't you accept the check they gave you? You mentioned not being able to save up like your friends, but your parents were keeping

[00:08:35] the money for you. Was it wisely invested? Maybe not, but it beats them spending it at a casino or on your siblings. It should be a nice little bit of cash to get your retirement account started.

[00:08:46] Make up with your parents, sure you can let them know how you felt, but you should also be mature enough to show them some gratitude for what they were trying to do for you.

[00:08:56] So, OP did come in with her update and says not sure why but my other throwaway got deleted. I took a lot of what you guys said to heart. I unblocked my family and spoke with my parents. I agreed to meet them for lunch today.

[00:09:08] We went to the keg and talked. They said they didn't realize how I felt for those 4 years. My mom cried and said she was very sorry that I felt they didn't care about me.

[00:09:18] I guess they read my post from before I got taken down and they're disturbed by what I wrote. It also upset my girlfriend is a single mom 14 years older than me. They asked if they could meet her and I said no.

[00:09:30] They offered me the check again and this time I took it and thanked them. I said I would come home later. After lunch I went to the bank and deposited it. Since we all bank at the same branch it was easy to cash in.

[00:09:42] I made sure that the money was in my account. Then I blocked them again. I just wrote my girlfriend a check for $4,312 to help her out. It was the interest on the money more or less. She is a decent person and she has taught me a lot.

[00:09:57] She works her ass off loading trucks and she deserves something good in her life. I know that isn't me. I am seeing my grandfather tomorrow. I'm going to make sure he knows what I did and why.

[00:10:08] I'm also going to invite him out to see my new place once I move out west. I'm spending the weekend at my girlfriend's house since her ex has the kids. Thank you all for your help and advice.

[00:10:20] I'm trying to cast my mind back to when I was 17 and I got my first job. My parents after a couple of months asked me to start paying rent basically. This is always controversial. I always get some comments like, your parents made you pay rent?

[00:10:33] Well yeah they did and I didn't mind it either. They charged me probably what I think it was about £150 at the time per month which is probably around just under $200 maybe. I didn't mind it at all at the time. I was unlike OP.

[00:10:49] I didn't really have a path in life if you like. I didn't know where I was going with it. I just got a job. I found the $700 thing pretty wild. I don't know how much OP's monthly wage was but I imagine that's a fairly big chunk of

[00:11:02] it right? And on top of that paying for your own tuition and your own groceries and struggling yourself mentally and physically all that time while trying to do your studies, do your job, everything in between. It's got to be real tough.

[00:11:17] But I think it's fair to say on this one there was a whole mix of comments in the first post about some people saying you're the arsehole, that he's thrown a tantrum etc. and he's very very privileged in what he's doing.

[00:11:28] Other people saying absolutely not the arsehole and OP would and they would be cutting off their parents after that kind of shenanigans as well. What do you guys make of this situation? Let me know your thoughts down in the comments below. Let's move on to another story.

[00:11:48] Our next story is from paymentgrouchy1336 from the amivarsholehere subreddit. The first bit of the story is pretty short but then it follows up with a lengthyish update and it says amivarsholehere for carrying treats in my pocket in order to talk to a guy.

[00:12:06] I 20 female have a neighbor 22-24 male. I have a crush on him. I am so shy though and I struggle with initiating. I noticed that the day I was carrying a pepperoni stick for a snack to eat on the way to my

[00:12:18] workout class, his dog approached me enthusiastically and was sniffing me and this prompted a small but very cute conversation with the neighbor. So now I carry it when I want my neighbor to run into me.

[00:12:31] It's worked 3 times thus far and he doesn't know it because I have the treat on me. Am I the arsehole for this? Edit clarification for those who need it. Don't worry I've never given his dog any food.

[00:12:43] I know not to give a dog food without asking the owner. Hopefully I can treat both boys soon. And as I requested I'll update here. Thank you so much for all the lovely advice and encouragement. Edit 2 this is my plan. Wrote it in a comment to someone.

[00:12:59] Unlucky fool says for a second I thought you were giving him the treats. Who's gonna say he probably thinks you're an angel not an arsehole. Maybe I should make him some. I'll have to figure out what he likes using these encounters first.

[00:13:14] I gotta be honest when I first read that title I thought exactly the same thing. I thought how's this gonna work then? How's she gonna do this one? I just pictured them both walking down the sidewalk towards each other and her just suddenly

[00:13:28] whipping out a Mars bar or something and going here boy here boy and then just start talking to him. Next commenter says I'd totally just use that as initiation. Give the dog a treat then search your pockets and be all. Oh sorry I've got nothing for you.

[00:13:43] How about a coffee sometime? Or can I just bring you a stick as well? Opie says you my friend are a genius. Another commenter says ask him first if it's ok to give the dog a treat and then proceed appropriately.

[00:13:56] Top Sided Pala says as an added bonus the dog will keep coming to you when it smells good because it keeps getting treats. Even the dumbest dog will eventually realize begging won't work if it never works on someone. Crafty Monmon says I think that is super cute.

[00:14:10] If the conversations are good ask him out for a coffee at your place since you are neighbors and assuming he knows you're his neighbor. Or to a coffee shop wherever you feel more comfortable. It's low stakes and removes some of the pressure of a first date.

[00:14:23] Also I checked with my husband and you are definitely not the asshole. Opie replies thank you so much. I'm going to see him probably tomorrow. I'm just going to be direct and ask him out.

[00:14:34] Lately it seems he wants to hang out more but because I get nervous I always slip away or cut our encounter short. Kind of before he can ask. I think he can sense I'm a little shy and it's made him cautious too.

[00:14:45] He is very respectful so I need to take the step and let him know. I'll ask to walk with him and his dog to get a coffee and I'll bring the dog a treat.

[00:14:53] I'm going to try to pick the one that's safest or least likely to provoke an allergy. I'll ask him if I can give it to his dog and go from there. I'm always a bit worried that someone's going to come in the comments with some sort of

[00:15:06] like something a bit more sinister about this but I haven't seen anything as yet. But to me this just seemed like a real cute thing. And if they do get together and things proceed and I think it'd be a real lovely story of how they met.

[00:15:23] One day the story could be told at their wedding. Slow down Mark you cheeky son. So they're only just talking. Bloody hell. But 4 days later OP comes in with an update and says I received a lot of helpful advice and so much encouragement. Here's what I did.

[00:15:38] I bought dog jerky for my neighbors dog. Don't worry I asked my neighbor before I gave it. I also made it very clear while talking to the dog that I went out and bought this treat just for him. Which resulted in my neighbor saying you're so sweet.

[00:15:52] I don't know if he deserves it today. Then he told me a funny story about the dog misbehaving. Now I practiced my segway line a million times in my apartment. I got so nervous and everything went blank for a second.

[00:16:05] I told myself if he gets going then I won't ask him out today. But he seemed to be in no hurry and didn't disengage. I told him what someone here suggested I say. I can't remember the exact words sorry.

[00:16:17] But I said something like I don't have anything for you though. Would you like to walk together and get a coffee? My treat. He said he'd love to. He also said he's been wanting to ask me but I always seem to be in a rush.

[00:16:31] I'm never in a rush I just get shy and terminate the interaction so I can escape my uncomfortable and nervous feelings. This made me realize I was giving him a different impression than I intended. We walked to the coffee shop and I ordered my coffee and his coffee.

[00:16:45] Lol he didn't let me pay. I tried to insist and he told me he only agreed to get me to come with him. Never intended to let me pay. We got our coffee and talked and walked. Two hours went by.

[00:16:58] I was encouraged by commenters to be direct so I ended up telling him once I felt a bit more warmed up in the conversation. I think he's handsome and I've had a crush on him since I first saw him. His reaction was so priceless.

[00:17:11] He got a little shy I think because he looked away briefly after I said it. Only for a moment though while saying oh wow you just made my week. He was smiling also his ears turned a little red.

[00:17:23] Maybe it was the cold air but I want to believe it's what I said. Definitely was. He told me he has to be somewhere this evening but he would like to see me again. We decided on a day and time.

[00:17:34] We exchanged contact info and added each other on Instagram. We have been talking on the phone and texting ever since. We decided on a museum date plus dinner. When I got home he texted me that he really likes me and is looking forward to getting

[00:17:48] to know me better. He said my shyness is adorable and some other compliments followed. I was so giddy. One of the biggest things I learned from the comments in my original post is that men love

[00:18:00] it when the women make the first move and they love to be complimented and approached first. Mostly just wanted to share this update because something positive happened and I highly recommended this meet cute technique. What? OP continues, especially to girls like me, whose shyness can unintentionally come across

[00:18:20] as being closed off. Also redditors on the original post take credit for coming up with the term meet cute. It was not me. Edit, haven't told him about the pepperoni tactic yet. I think it's best to save that for the real date.

[00:18:34] Depending on how that goes, I'll tell him. So a couple of comments with replies from OP. Grim says I'm glad it worked out. Traditionally for decades, the men had to do everything to court a woman.

[00:18:46] We don't normally receive compliments and are always told to man up and never cry and all of that. I am only 41 but that's how it was when I was younger too. We have emotions of all kinds too.

[00:18:57] As a man we absolutely love when a woman comes to us and is direct. If there is one thing we hate, it's women who try to drop hints. We will never get those hints and on the off chance we do get the hint, it hits us 20 years

[00:19:10] later in the middle of the night. Lol, good for you and I hope it all works out. OP says this was so true because when he said I always seemed in a rush, he was basically

[00:19:22] telling me it seemed like I was someone who would not be interested in being asked out and maybe he thought I had a boyfriend. All the while this could have been further from the truth. I thought I was giving hints. He didn't get any of them. Lol.

[00:19:36] LastNerve says way to go. I knew you could do it. I asked my first husband out first. You know how I did it. I looked up his number in the phone book. Yes, I'm old.

[00:19:47] Called when I knew he was working and left a message asking him out for coffee. I was working a night shift in the ER that same night and there he was. He was a corrections officer and was there with an inmate.

[00:19:57] When I saw him I ran to the other section of the ER. I finally talked to him and told him I left him a message. He asked what the message was so I told him he'd find out when he got home.

[00:20:07] He told me he could find out now. I asked him not but the SOB went and listened to the message. He came and found me leaned over and whispered in my ear. Anytime I'll call you.

[00:20:18] He came back after work to bring me a coffee and we've been together ever since. So you never know, this could be it for you. I'm so excited for you and I don't even know you. Sorry I'm such a sap. No you're not.

[00:20:32] OP says your story is what dreams are made of. I might actually tear up. Emotions this weekend are high and I do want to scale down my feelings a little though. In case it doesn't work out. But so far I'm really, really hopeful.

[00:20:45] I always, always, always wanted an organic encounter. It's been so hard with dating app culture. This is the best thing to happen to me all year. God, I feel like the older I get the more emotional I get about oral stories. That's absolutely sweet. I love that.

[00:21:02] And I think OP being able to go on that date, I think is absolutely wonderful. But I thought another wonderful thing is, is OP stepping out of that comfort zone as well. I thought that was a huge thing at the same time.

[00:21:14] I myself am a very shy person in real life at the same time as well. And can struggle to sort of initiate that conversation. Once I get going I don't shut up but my mind's always questioning. What if they don't like the conversation? What if this?

[00:21:30] What if that? Blah, blah, blah. But I'm so glad for OP. I think that's positive in all different angles. But what do you guys make of this situation? Have you got your own little cheeky meetup story? How it happened organically like this? How you were worried etc?

[00:21:46] Let us know your thoughts down in the comments below. As always would love to hear them. And just a huge thank you from the bottom of my heart for getting involved in today's stories. Your love, your support, your time always means the absolute world to me.

[00:21:58] So thank you so, so much for being involved. And hopefully I will see you in the next one. Take care and much love.