My Parents Are Saying I've Shamed Them In Front Of The WHOLE FAMILY r/Relationships

[00:00:03] Hey Waffle Gang, I do hope you're well. My name is Mark and today we're checking out some more Reddit Stories. And if you do love a Reddit Story, why not consider? Then I'll like, subscribe, maybe that notification bell too. And let's crack on with today's first story. Much love guys.

[00:00:20] Now this story comes from CheezitBitBoy from the Am I the Arsehole and Entitled Parents subreddit. It has an update two years later as well. It's titled,

[00:00:30] Am I the Arsehole for being mad at my parents that they got my older brother a car for his 18th birthday and not mine,

[00:00:37] and then causing the whole family to be up in arms about it till they came through.

[00:00:41] Okay, I know the title sounds like I'm spoiled, but hear me out.

[00:00:46] My brother 20 got a car for his 18th birthday. Not a new car or anything. It was a 20 year old Lexus that was in pretty good shape.

[00:00:54] And he rubbed it in my face for the rest of the time he was in senior year of high school.

[00:00:58] Compared with my brother, I get just as good of grades as he does. Better in some cases even.

[00:01:04] I worked my hardest in the hope of fairness. I even did some volunteering cleaning up garbage in my local area.

[00:01:11] Then my 18th birthday came and went a few weeks ago. And the only thing I wanted, the only thing I was hoping for,

[00:01:18] was a car. I wasn't expecting something like a new car or a sporty car. Just something reliable like my brother got.

[00:01:26] The party wasn't anything like my brother's 18th. For his 18th, my mum baked the cake herself.

[00:01:33] It was a delicious layered chocolate pudding cake. I got a sheet cake from the supermarket.

[00:01:38] For his, they got a DJ. For mine, it was my dad's old boombox with a couple of mixed CDs.

[00:01:44] We went through a whole party and I figured my parents might have just been waiting to spring a surprise gift on me.

[00:01:50] But that didn't happen. I asked him as things were wrapping up, why there was no car and my brother got one.

[00:01:57] And they said that they felt like he worked harder for it. I asked what he did that I didn't do.

[00:02:03] Because I did all of that and more. My grandma was nearby and heard everything.

[00:02:08] And then she asked them why as well. She ended up lecturing my parents that she was very, very,

[00:02:15] very disappointed in them for showing favoritism. Then she proceeded to announce to everyone still

[00:02:20] there that my parents thought it fine to get their first born son a car and a DJ, but not their second.

[00:02:26] And then she even pointed out how much harder my parents tried for my brother's 18th birthday

[00:02:31] than they had for mine. My uncle was the first to stand up and say something.

[00:02:35] And everyone else who had not left yet. I ended up just walking away and going to my room to sit and think.

[00:02:43] I got a few calls from my relatives and my grandparents convinced me to go out with them for the evening.

[00:02:49] But when I got back, my parents were pissed and told me I'd shame them to the whole family.

[00:02:54] I just walked past them because I didn't want to fight. The next few weeks went by with the silent

[00:03:00] treatment between us. But then a few days ago, my parents suddenly surprised me with a

[00:03:05] white 98 Subaru Legacy that runs great. They practically threw the keys and the title in an

[00:03:11] envelope at me and said to have fun. I got the car and they're paying for insurance for the next six

[00:03:16] months like they did for my brother. I know a car isn't really a right, but a privilege. But I feel

[00:03:23] like I've essentially blackmailed my parents into getting me one. Am I the arsehole for how all of this

[00:03:29] played out? More golden child stuff. And I never understand how parents can do this,

[00:03:35] favor one child over the other and blatantly show it like this. I always find it incredibly sad.

[00:03:42] Now, this might be just sort of Reddit brain and me talking and thinking, why did they suddenly give

[00:03:46] in and get you a car and then basically just chuck it in your face like that? I was wondering if grandma

[00:03:51] has said something that, you know, they might be being cut out of inheritance or something like that.

[00:03:56] I know, mine's going wild as usual here. And that's why suddenly they changed their mind on it.

[00:04:02] Opie comes in with an edit and says, I would like to clarify a few things.

[00:04:06] My parents make pretty good money and also don't go out of their way to live lavishly by choice.

[00:04:12] They've always been moderate in everything they buy or do. So if anything is stretching their finances,

[00:04:17] it's my brother's college tuition. He got a partial scholarship and my parents are paying the rest.

[00:04:22] I don't and never intended to ask for the same treatment on that. I want to work and pay my own

[00:04:28] student loans. Now that I have the car, I'm already looking into getting a part-time job.

[00:04:33] This also isn't a gender thing as I'm male like my brother. The bill of sale for the car I got says

[00:04:39] my parents paid $1600 for it. My brother's car cost them about 3000 plus if I remember. But I don't see

[00:04:47] it as a money issue. I actually really love the Subaru and told my parents so. They did not share

[00:04:53] my enthusiasm. I also did try to talk about a car with my parents a few times last year, but they

[00:04:59] always dodged the conversations about the topic. I figured if I talked about it too much, it'd ruin it.

[00:05:05] And so I stopped. I would have felt like a brat to keep talking about getting an imaginary car.

[00:05:10] So I learned to just stay silent and hope. I can't go stay with my grandparents because they

[00:05:17] live in a one bedroom condo. There isn't enough room for other people. After all their kids grew up,

[00:05:23] my grandparents decided to downsize to make their eventual retirement easier. Also, my grandparents

[00:05:29] know all the details already. And they tell me that I didn't do anything wrong. I'm already planning

[00:05:34] on confronting my parents quietly over the car issue. But they took the chance to take care of

[00:05:39] the matter when they heard me asking my parents about it. As for my brother's 18th birthday party,

[00:05:44] it was held in 2020 during basically the height of the pandemic. Honestly, we shouldn't have had a

[00:05:50] big party like that at the time, but my parents insisted. As for my brother himself, he barely

[00:05:56] speaks to me. Even before he left for college, he didn't show up for my 18th birthday party. And I

[00:06:01] figured that's just because he's busy with college and he's not even in the same state as this anymore.

[00:06:06] Honestly, I haven't seen or heard from him since Christmas. And even then, the most I got out of

[00:06:11] him was a mild greeting. I did thank my parents for the car. Enthusiastically thanked them even.

[00:06:18] But they barely said a word to me after giving me the Subaru. And when I thanked my parents,

[00:06:23] they brushed me off and just went inside. It kind of gave off the vibe that they were letting a brat

[00:06:27] play with his new toy, which was pretty upsetting. And one of the reasons I made this post.

[00:06:34] Edit 2. There was one more thing I forgot to say. I was really hoping to get the car because

[00:06:39] I literally couldn't get a part-time job without one. We don't live in the city and we're 10 miles

[00:06:44] from the nearest public bus stop. I've always had to get rides to go anywhere. Now that I have the

[00:06:50] Subaru, I intend to look for a part-time after-school job as soon as I can.

[00:06:54] Edit 3. Since it came up in so many messages, I want to clarify that when I went to talk to my parents

[00:07:00] after the party, I wasn't in front of the rest of the family. I intentionally spoke with them in

[00:07:05] another room and was supposed to be out of earshot of everyone else there. But my grandma eavesdropped

[00:07:12] and then barged in to start lecturing my parents about their actions. And that's what caused the crap

[00:07:16] storm to start. But in the comments, Lady Urzelot says, not the arsehole, but angry at being found out.

[00:07:24] You were supposed to never question the blatant unfairness while working hard to be appreciated.

[00:07:29] You aren't spoiled for wanting equal treatment. Your grandma knows their game and she called them

[00:07:34] out, but no one can yell at grandma so they've chosen to stick it to you instead. I'm sorry,

[00:07:39] they're such arseholes. Who cares even, damn says. I'm sorry that your parents have a favorite child.

[00:07:46] No child should be exposed to something like this. Personally, as a parent, I think this should be

[00:07:51] considered the same as child abuse. I just want you to know that none of this is your fault.

[00:07:57] Your parents have failed you and shamed themselves. You are absolutely not the arsehole here. Your

[00:08:03] parents are definitely hugely arseholes. Typical prior says, not the arsehole. Just from the way

[00:08:10] you wrote and explained your side of things. I get the impression that you are mature, wanting to get

[00:08:15] a job by SEP and not someone who is bratty about this. This is clearly favoritism like others have said.

[00:08:21] You had this rare self-control to handle and process the entire situation like an adult.

[00:08:26] Working hard and keeping track. I know in this kind of scenario it's easier to get into a downward

[00:08:32] spiral of feeling spiteful, petty and just plain anger over the unfairness and bias that your parents

[00:08:37] clearly demonstrated. But I'm impressed how well you handled it. I personally know people in your

[00:08:43] situation who would have resorted to social media to defame and call out their parents and that would

[00:08:47] have made things even worse for themselves. So good on you and your extended family for having your back.

[00:08:53] That would be such a hilarious twist if Opie ends up getting more successful in life than the favorite

[00:08:57] brother and every time parents try to kiss her up and act like this treatment never happened so he

[00:09:02] take care of them in their old age. Some family member remind them exactly how they treated their

[00:09:07] younger son. Yes, they bet on the wrong horse. Let's be kind to each other says, not the arsehole.

[00:09:13] Parents play favorites and it always happens. However, most of them make an effort to not be

[00:09:18] caught and to be fair. So it sucks your parents didn't pull through. I know a lot of families

[00:09:23] that did more for their eldest because financially things changed after they pay for college and

[00:09:27] downsize with age. With that said, my family was dirt poor. My mom is a home care worker and my dad

[00:09:33] a janitor at a school and still managed to buy all four of us kids our first car. Real beaters but I think

[00:09:40] we all were so grateful. And one more comment which says, not the arsehole and your grandma is a boss.

[00:09:47] Honestly, your brother is your parents golden child and they're angry they were called out on their

[00:09:52] favoritism. Ignore your parents. Pay with the same coin they did to you. Leave all the money you can

[00:09:58] because I'm pretty sure they won't pay a cent to help you and there is a possibility they will ask you

[00:10:03] to leave the house. So the first update came six months after the original and said, since I

[00:10:09] couldn't update in am I the arsehole I came here to do it. This is my original post link I've not

[00:10:15] logged onto this account in roughly five months. I can now tell you the rest of what happened before

[00:10:20] college starts. But before that, there's some things I want to get out of the way from previous

[00:10:24] commenters and messengers. I literally needed a car because there was no way for me to get a job

[00:10:29] without one. I had no personal transportation and live over 10 miles from the nearest bus stop.

[00:10:35] But for those who kept telling me to give the car back because they think I was either too spoiled

[00:10:39] and to accept life is unfair or that I shouldn't take handouts or I shouldn't accept gifts from crappy

[00:10:45] parents, etc. Please just stop. My inbox was so crammed full when I logged back on that it took some

[00:10:52] time to go through it all. It doesn't really matter anyway though. I did get a part-time job that

[00:10:57] later went full-time for the summer after I graduated. But three weeks into working part-time,

[00:11:03] the Subaru blew the head gasket while on the highway at like 45 miles an hour. The temp gauge

[00:11:09] redlined and I had to pull over and call for help. My parents took a look at the car and found that

[00:11:14] someone had ran a lot of gasket sealer in it and it was still in the coolant. The car was basically

[00:11:19] band-aided back together before my parents bought it and was then barely hanging on by a thread.

[00:11:24] It drove great and I was never pushing the car hard as I'm a kind of slow driver. My parents

[00:11:30] claimed no prior knowledge of the problem but their only real reaction was to shrug and say it was

[00:11:35] karma for making them get me the car in the first place. That was a mistake because my grandparents

[00:11:41] were right there to witness that and they tore into my parents like none other. My grandma told me to

[00:11:47] go wait in my room and let them sort this out. It was two hours before I was called back into the living

[00:11:52] room. My parents were on the couch and both looked like they had been metaphorically hit by a truck.

[00:11:58] My uncle and two other relatives were there now too. My grandparents had gotten it out of them that

[00:12:02] when they bought the car it just looked the cheapest thing they could find close in the area that still

[00:12:07] ran and bought it no questions asked. They didn't even bother to inspect the car let alone properly read

[00:12:13] the ad for it. My uncle who knows a thing or two about cars told me that the engine would basically

[00:12:18] need to be rebuilt because the head gasket warped the block and it cost more than the car is worth

[00:12:23] to fix it. I had to call into work and tell them that I was unable to make it because my car was dead.

[00:12:29] They understood and basically put me on a sort of unpaid leave for the moment.

[00:12:33] Now I want to point out that what happens next I had no involvement with. My grandparents just told

[00:12:38] me to chill for a while and let them and my parents take care of this and they did. A few days

[00:12:44] later they came back with a 1999 Honda Civic hatchback with 180,000 miles on it. It was white

[00:12:50] like my Subaru was and drives great. It's not all wheel drive like the Subaru was but is great on

[00:12:55] the road and gets better gas mileage. There was also a list of all the recent repairs done to the car.

[00:13:00] Things like a new radiator and stuff. My uncle also went over the car before giving it the okay.

[00:13:06] I thanked everyone profusely. My parents though had all the elation of Ben Stein on Valium.

[00:13:12] They said very little and just walked away. It wasn't even the vibe that they had last time of

[00:13:17] acting like they were giving a new toy to a brat. If I could put it to words, the way they acted was

[00:13:22] just pure defeat. The Subaru got resold later for $400 since that was the best we could get for it

[00:13:29] with a blown head gasket and that money was put into my savings. That's only half of what happened

[00:13:34] though. You see, when I said I did better in school than my brother, I wasn't kidding. My brother got a

[00:13:40] 30% scholarship after he finished high school. Well, I got a 50% one. Not at the same college of course,

[00:13:46] but at one comparably good that was also closer. To say my parents were shocked is an understatement.

[00:13:52] Of course, they both looked unhappy as soon as the shock wore off. I decided it wouldn't be a good

[00:13:57] idea to poke the bear by asking them about it, but my grandma thought otherwise and poked that bear.

[00:14:03] And I mean really poked it. First, she asked if my parents were happy for me and they claimed they

[00:14:09] were, but really didn't show in their attitudes. Then my grandparents finally asked what their problem

[00:14:14] was. Why do they dislike me? Their second son was doing great and even went above expectations.

[00:14:21] And they can't be happy about it. Did they want me to fail? Were they hoping I'd fail? What is the deal?

[00:14:27] My mother looked really upset and my father couldn't look me in the eyes. They both meekly said they were

[00:14:33] happy for me and managed to say they want me to take the world by storm when I go to college. And

[00:14:39] even said they helped pay some of my tuition as well, just like they are for my brother. My grandparents

[00:14:44] both sharply said that they better keep their word because there should never have been any favoritism,

[00:14:50] period. I thanked my parents for their help. Got a light, if not limp, handshake from my father

[00:14:56] and a very stiff hug from my mother. It all felt so forced. I was and said I'm extremely thankful for

[00:15:02] the car and the tuition, but my parents just drained the room of all emotion. I ended up asking if my

[00:15:08] grandparents knew what it was that made my parents act this way. They asked if I was an accidental

[00:15:13] pregnancy or something. And they gave me the, it's time we told you look. Well, I'm not adopted like so

[00:15:19] many had asked, but I was unplanned. Sort of. You see, my parents wanted a girl and a boy.

[00:15:25] But got two boys instead. My brother came out as a boy, so my parents were really hoping to get a girl

[00:15:31] on the next go. And they had a prior agreement to stop after two kids. They never got a girl. My

[00:15:37] grandma told me that they refused to find out my gender till after I was born. They were convinced

[00:15:42] I'd be born female. And they'd bought a lot of baby stuff for a girl. And they didn't get a girl.

[00:15:47] My grandma said I ended up using all of my brother's hand-me-downs till I was three years old

[00:15:52] because my parents had bought so much girl stuff in advance that they couldn't use.

[00:15:56] So I was just a disappointment to them from the time I was born. My grandparents said that they

[00:16:00] know my parents are screwed up. They've been the way they are for so long that there's no point in

[00:16:05] expecting them to change. Since then, my parents hadn't spoke to me much about college. In fact,

[00:16:11] they ignore the subject as much as they can. And thanks to some of the warnings I got from people

[00:16:15] who message me making me paranoid. I called the college I'd been accepted to and made sure to tell

[00:16:20] them that if anyone calls or emails pretending to be me, or my parents call trying to say I'm not

[00:16:24] coming, they tend to call me for a double or even triple check if anything like that happens.

[00:16:30] I mean, I kinda doubt my parents would do that sort of thing. Especially after everything that's

[00:16:34] happened. But I felt like playing it safe was the better option. Though there was something that I

[00:16:39] really didn't expect to happen. And that was my brother calling me. He called me out of the blue to talk.

[00:16:45] He said our grandparents called and told him everything. He told me he was sorry for what

[00:16:49] happened in his own way. And he hopes that once I'm on my own, I won't need to ever come back.

[00:16:55] He actually admitted to me that when he finishes college, he's going to stay in the state he's in

[00:16:59] because he likes it there. Our parents I do know actually really want him to come back when he gets

[00:17:04] his degree. But it looks like that's not happening. I said I don't blame him. And I may do the same.

[00:17:11] The rest of the conversation was a bit awkward because we aren't really used to speaking to

[00:17:15] each other much anymore. My grandparents and the rest of the family held a surprise party for me

[00:17:20] over the weekend. And they made it almost like a repeat to my brother's 18th birthday. There was

[00:17:24] a DJ and a big chocolate cake my grandma made. I couldn't thank them all enough. My parents attended

[00:17:30] the party, but they were like wallflowers the entire time. They didn't say or do much, just stayed

[00:17:36] sitting at a far table in the corner and drank beer quietly. The look of defeat they had was even

[00:17:41] greater now. I think the party wasn't just to congratulate me, but to also rub it in my parents'

[00:17:46] faces and that they should have done better because the rest of the family have made their disappointment

[00:17:51] in them clear. They seemed like they wanted to leave the party for a while. Can't say I blame them.

[00:17:57] They were being humiliated into staying where they were. My grandma said that you're never too old to

[00:18:03] be taught a lesson in humility. As for my personal life, my part-time job went to full-time after high

[00:18:08] school. I've been working hard to build my savings before I leave for college. I made minimum wage,

[00:18:13] but a job is a job. And I want to leave it with my best effort put in before my two weeks notice are up.

[00:18:19] I doubt I'm going to be coming back here to make another update. And after my first post,

[00:18:23] I'm just so tired of all the negative comments. About 95% of the comments on my original post were

[00:18:28] positive. And I want to thank all of those who had nice things to say. You people rock, but the negative

[00:18:34] comments were so bad that I found it to be mentally draining. Some of the people who commented such

[00:18:39] negativity honestly feel like they've got worse issues than me. Lots of rejecting maybe. If anyone

[00:18:44] had something harsh but constructive to say, that was fine. But some people just raged at me like they

[00:18:49] were foaming at the mouth. I really don't want more of that. So two years later, OP comes in to update

[00:18:56] again and says, I've been away for two years and I kind of expect that I'll be back to post one last time in

[00:19:02] 2024. Because my brother went for a four year bachelor's degree, much like I currently am. Those who remember

[00:19:09] my previous posts, I'm the guy whose parents basically got their butts verbally handed to them by family for bad

[00:19:15] favoritism towards my older brother. Crap really did hit the fan on my 18th birthday because my parents barely put any

[00:19:22] effort into it and went all out on my brother's 18th in 2020 during the pandemic. They even managed to get

[00:19:28] a DJ for the party and then they presented him with a car. Well, on my 18th, I got no car or even anything

[00:19:36] close to a similar party, even though my academic standing was better than my brother's. I basically

[00:19:41] worked too hard for my parents' approval and never got it. When I asked them why my brother got a car and

[00:19:47] not me, they claimed my brother worked harder for it, which was later confirmed to not be true.

[00:19:52] When I got a bigger scholarship, my grandma happened to be eavesdropping and laid into my parents.

[00:19:57] Then she got the rest of the family involved and for the record, we were planning on getting involved

[00:20:02] anyway. My grandma just stepped things up right then. OP then continued to recap some of the

[00:20:07] previous posts, but then comes to this paragraph and says, my grandma ended up admitting even more to me

[00:20:13] later after I left for college. Before I was born, my parents were so convinced that I'd be a girl

[00:20:18] that they bought a bunch of girl stuff without even checking my gender through ultrasound. I found

[00:20:23] out from my grandma about a year ago that my mother had tried to raise me like a girl for the first six

[00:20:27] months of my life. She was putting me in girls clothes and calling me by a different name. My father

[00:20:34] enabled it all. I know it's true because my grandma showed me old family photos of me with my brother

[00:20:40] when I was an infant and I was wearing pink in all of them. There was even a visible name tag on

[00:20:45] some of the name my parents wanted for a girl. But once word got out, my parents stopped dressing me

[00:20:50] as a girl. My grandparents told my mother that trying to raise me as something I wasn't,

[00:20:55] wasn't even giving me a choice on whether or not I wanted to be that. And though my family is

[00:21:00] rather old school, but my grandparents are surprisingly open-minded people and they put the hammer down on

[00:21:05] my parents. So the girl treatment stopped, but instead of new clothes, they gave me my brother's

[00:21:10] hand-me-downs for years. Till my grandparents noticed that too and did something about it.

[00:21:15] Finding out all of this, my grandparents kept my childhood from being far worse than it was.

[00:21:20] And they never told me until this past couple of years. I am incredibly thankful for them.

[00:21:25] My mother apparently struggled to call me by my real name for two years or so. And because my parents

[00:21:31] didn't get a girl, they refused to connect with me like they did my brother. The boy they'd actually

[00:21:36] wanted. And when my grandparents heard I wasn't getting anything new like my brother was,

[00:21:40] they threatened them to petition for guardianship of me. And they had evidence of the various things

[00:21:45] I described too. My parents couldn't stand for anything that could become public scandal, so

[00:21:50] they stopped with the hand-me-downs and pretended to love me for a while. But as I got older, it

[00:21:54] degenerated into indifference. And then maybe into hate. I'm not sure.

[00:22:00] Hate means to still care in some way, but indifference is the actual opposite of love.

[00:22:05] I just know my parents couldn't accept that their favorite son wasn't the best at everything

[00:22:10] compared to their unwanted son. And since I moved out, they've barely interacted with family.

[00:22:15] They threw themselves into work. In part because the rest of the family forced them to contribute

[00:22:20] into my college like they did my brothers. But also because to them, working was the only thing

[00:22:25] that gave them a reason to tell everyone to leave them alone.

[00:22:28] My grandmas suspects they've even slept in their cars a few times to avoid coming home.

[00:22:34] I only saw my parents at Christmas at my uncle's house for the past couple of years,

[00:22:38] and they barely even spoke to me. Now that I was living my best life away from them,

[00:22:42] I guess you could say that they'd stop bothering to act like I was their son.

[00:22:46] They don't want me anymore after their family humiliation they feel like they've suffered,

[00:22:50] even though they know they brought it on themselves. And they've become workaholics that do little else.

[00:22:55] My grandmother told me my bedroom is basically exactly how I left it on the day I moved out.

[00:23:01] My parents have not even gone inside, but they kept my brother's room clean and ready for the day

[00:23:06] he had finally come back home after college. Well, that didn't happen. They flew out to see him for

[00:23:12] his graduation and had a big celebration with him. I was not invited to go as well. Not that I could afford

[00:23:18] it, but my grandparents went along and they gave me the details. My parents were still convinced my

[00:23:25] brother would be coming back home. And that's when he awkwardly told them that he had already secured a

[00:23:29] job through an internship he had done the past year, and he had found an apartment of his own too.

[00:23:34] My father became furious and my mother lost her mind crying and begging him to come home,

[00:23:39] but he refused. You see, this past two years, my brother and I have reconnected a bit.

[00:23:44] He found my Reddit account and called me. He wasn't angry, just wanted to talk. He admitted to me that

[00:23:51] our parents put him through a lot as well. My mother absolutely smothered him, especially when I wasn't

[00:23:57] around. Our father was also quite strict with his expectations. But the fact that I did better than

[00:24:02] my brother when our parents had invested everything into him just broke them. And now they're extra broken

[00:24:08] because my brother refused to come home with them. The way our parents treated my brother is also

[00:24:12] the reason we stopped connecting as siblings until this past couple of years. He did bully me at

[00:24:17] times when we were growing up, but that's because being the favorite went to his head. But it was

[00:24:22] favoritism with strings attached. And when he realized that, he got counseling after moving out.

[00:24:28] My brother also has a girlfriend he met while in college, and he kept her a secret because he knew

[00:24:33] our parents wouldn't approve. And they didn't when they found out.

[00:24:37] Ro blew up at them when my mother referred to his girlfriend that she hadn't even met as a

[00:24:41] slut. Ro's girlfriend is in nursing school and a year from graduation herself. My brother says she's

[00:24:48] the best. I've never met her, but she sounds wonderful by how he's described her.

[00:24:53] My grandma told me my mother went so far as to hire a private investigator to find out who my

[00:24:58] brother's girlfriend was. And was irritated to know that she was squeaky clean and from a good family

[00:25:04] on the same side politically too. But in her mind, she was the reason my brother wasn't coming back.

[00:25:09] Even though bro made it clear he decided that before even meeting his girlfriend.

[00:25:14] My father had basically become stoically silent about it from what I'd heard. But my mother let

[00:25:19] it slip to my brother that she'd hired a detective. And my brother gave our parents a piece of his mind.

[00:25:24] And this led to a whole argument about how they gave him everything, and he was ungrateful for not

[00:25:29] coming back. But he called them out that being the favored child is abuse too, because they nearly

[00:25:35] made him like them. It broke my parents to hear that. My brother told our grandparents and they

[00:25:41] staged another family intervention. One I was even involved in through video call.

[00:25:46] Her parents tried not to even pay attention to me. But even bro told them to talk to me.

[00:25:51] Phil told them enough was enough. They have two sons and they needed to start treating us fairly,

[00:25:56] because they let something as idiotic as not being born the gender they wanted to ruin their love for me

[00:26:01] from day one. And pardon my language on this next part. My father hit his breaking point and yelled,

[00:26:08] you want us to admit that we fucked up? Oh yeah, we did. What do you want us to fucking do?

[00:26:13] Time fucking travel? We're paying for part of Boopies fucking college too. What more does he

[00:26:18] fucking want from us? Things ended very poorly in that intervention. My mother cried that she was

[00:26:25] sorry to me. But even then, I still didn't feel her heart was in it. Because she didn't spend much time

[00:26:31] apologizing to me at all before moving on to my brother through the phone he was video calling from.

[00:26:36] And she spent a long time crying and apologizing to him. Until he told her to go back and actually

[00:26:41] apologize to me like she meant it. That's when my father grabbed the phone and shut it off. Then he just

[00:26:47] sat down and told everyone to leave. The last thing my grandparents said to my parents was that they

[00:26:52] were so disappointed in them. Maybe losing both sons showed them they should never have favored one.

[00:26:58] Right now, my parents are not on speaking terms with the rest of the family. My grandma heard a

[00:27:02] rumor that they were planning to move. But they have a paid off country house and great careers. I feel

[00:27:09] like they'd be forced to move. But since my brother isn't going back and I'm likely not either,

[00:27:14] I suppose it's not really an issue. I kind of doubt they'd welcome me in if I came to visit after the

[00:27:19] crap that went down. I'm still thankful to them for helping to pay for my college. My student loans

[00:27:24] were significantly reduced thanks to them. But as parents, I think we can agree that they just didn't

[00:27:29] do a good job. And I gotta say, I'm glad that OP and his brother came out of this with a stronger

[00:27:36] bond. I'm glad that we got to hear from the brother's point of view in this story and that

[00:27:40] how being a golden child is also abusive at the same time and what they went through. Incredibly sad at the

[00:27:46] same time that they had to go through that anyway. But now I'm going to turn this one to you guys. What

[00:27:52] do you guys make of this situation? Let us know your thoughts down in the comments below.

[00:27:58] Just a huge thank you from the bottom of my heart for getting involved in today's stories. Your love,

[00:28:02] your support, your time always means the absolute world to me. So thank you so, so much. And hopefully

[00:28:06] I'll see you in the next one. Take care and much love.