My Mother REFUSES To Use My Hand Made Gift As I Didn't Include The "Entire Family" r/Relationships

[00:00:01] Hey Waffle Gang I do hope you are well my name is Mark and today we're checking out some more reddit stories and if you do love a reddit story why not consider hit that like subscribe maybe that notification bell too and let's crack on with today's first story much love guys now today's first story comes from angels of death Zach who says am I the asshole for not including the entire family in a quilt I made for my mother so a little while ago it was my mother's birthday

[00:00:31] I like to sew so I thought it would be a good idea to make her a quilt had the idea to make some of the squares family photos so I got some family pictures printed out onto fabric and added them into the quilt it had me my siblings and my parents when I gave the quilt to my mother she seemed happy at first before she looked at all the photos she looked disappointed and when I questioned why she said that she was upset I didn't have any photos including the dog

[00:01:00] Now a bit of a side note I've always had a phobia of dogs which people never really got about me we do have a dog in the house but I choose to not acknowledge it or be around it my mother knows very well my fear of them but she treats this dog like it's her own son she cooks it meals every day gets it food at mcdonald's gives it many presents during christmas and practically every framed photo in the house is of the dog rather than anyone else

[00:01:29] Essentially she treats it less like it is a dog and more like it is a human child even calling it her youngest son Since I don't like the family dog for reasons I won't dive into here I chose to not incorporate it into the quilt Also since I didn't have any photos of it on my phone anyways And now my mother seems to really dislike the gift

[00:01:52] I asked her if she doesn't like the quilt and she just sighed and said it was cruel of me not to include her youngest in the quilt I felt bad Since I'm moving away soon I wanted to give her a nice handmade gift Since I've never done that before But she seems so disappointed with it I thought the photos I picked out were nice Some were recent but most of them were from many years ago Before they even got the dog

[00:02:19] My dad is telling me that it is perfectly fine that I didn't include the dog and that the quilt is still very nice But my brother seems angry with me saying that I can't just leave out family members in a family themed quilt It's been around a week since that happened and my mom has never once used or even touched the quilt I looked and found that she put it under the bed I feel sad but also guilty I feel like a major jerk since I just wanted to make her happy

[00:02:47] My mother has also been a bit more distant with me as well So I'm scared that our relationship will be affected by this As you probably know I'm a huge dog fan Got Poppy Love her to bits But OP spent their time and effort making a handmade quilt With their cherished family members Actual photos of her children growing up And mum just seemed to dismiss it all because it didn't include the dog

[00:03:15] And now after this she's deciding to emotionally Punish OP by being distant and Literally hiding the quilt under the bed I'm not sure if it's petty but My first thought in this and what I'd say is well You know because you put this time and effort into it Is to ask for that quilt back And give it to someone that will give it the respect and love It deserves Even keep it for yourself If I was in mum's position and Someone handed me a handmade gift which I know They crafted with their own hands

[00:03:43] I would cherish this no matter what it was I think that's just such a lovely and thoughtful thing to do But Jenna Cillin says not the arsehole Take the quilt back you made with loving hands That she doesn't appreciate and move out OP was saying I was thinking of re-gifting it to my father Since he seems to really like the quilt Pickle Toe says good idea He will appreciate it Sweet Smile says please do A quilt is really hard work and it should be given to someone

[00:04:11] Who respects and cherishes it I worry your mum will let the dog tear it up Rare Sugar says I'm one of those people who considers her cats her fur kits And I'll say this You are absolutely not the arsehole For fuck's sake your mother is ridiculous To reject such a thoughtful handmade gift Just because there's no photo of a dog in it Yeesh Five minutes in the house and they'll probably have dog hair on it So problem solved The dog is included

[00:04:39] So OP did update the post in form of edits They said edits I feel like I should clarify some things Looking through the replies I see most people saying that I am the arsehole People seem to think that I deliberately left out the dog To upset my mother And that I should have been more mindful of her feelings Since this is a gift for her She's had the dog for around six years now And has mentioned quite a few times That she values dog lives over human children's lives She also mentioned that in the case of a house fire

[00:05:08] She would save the dog first Then go back in to save her children I've had this dog phobia since I was a kid And it hasn't gotten better since the dog has been in the house I'm not allowed to go to therapy either So I was left with no resources to help me with this fear It was especially bad since whenever I leave my room My mother or brother would try to let the dog chase and bark at me Since they think it's funny They still do that to this day But back to the quilt situation

[00:05:35] My mother has framed photos all around the house of her dog She has maybe two photos of her human children But around 12 photos of the dog When making the quilt, yes I did purposely exclude the dog I did this partly because I felt that there was already enough photos of the dog in the house And partly because I wanted to give her something to remind her of her human children The vast majority of the photos I chose were ones taken of me and my siblings when we were young children So before they even got the dog

[00:06:05] And no, I hate that I have to even say this I don't harm dogs or wish harm upon dogs like some of you seem to think Edit 2 Shortly after I woke up this morning I went to try and grab the quilt from under the bed in order to take some photos of it But I couldn't find it I asked my dad if he knew where it was But he was just as clueless as me We searched a lot of the house but couldn't find it I'll update again if I find out what happened to it Edit 3 I went outside and checked the trash bin

[00:06:35] I found the quilt there slightly hidden under some other trash I took it out from the trash and tried to clean it up as best as I could It's now hidden in my room I'm not really sure what to do with it now This is absolutely messed up You know, the quilt in itself, finding it in the trash Again, a handmade gift That was made with love that this mother doesn't deserve by the way That's got to be heartbreaking And I'm glad that you did fish it out And that you're going to keep it for yourself

[00:07:04] But also looking back over those edits of having your mom and brother You know, terrorize you By having these dogs chase you And mock your phobia Deny you any kind of therapy It's just cruel and abusive behavior Like on the second paragraph It said that she mentioned in case of a house fire She would save the dog first How did that conversation even come up? That's just like such a shit thing to say Just like purposely hurtful

[00:07:31] Like almost taking pleasure in hurting your own kids It's just madness But Wordwiler says Your mother loves the dog more than she loves you She and your brother use the dog to torment you Something is wrong with those people Maybe you should have realized it a while ago Maybe that realization would have led you to make a quilt Based on photos of the dog That doesn't make you a jerk It probably means you wanted to connect with your mother Despite her problems I love my dog I love most dogs obsessively

[00:08:01] I would save my children from a fire Before I would save any dog I have ever had But now I'm going to turn this one to you guys What do you guys make of this situation? Let us know your thoughts down in the comments below And let's move on to another story Now our next story is titled Am I the asshole for walking out of my mom's house After she forced my autistic son to eat food he hates? I'm a single dad, 32 male To my 17 year old son, Ronnie

[00:08:30] He's autistic and has some pretty specific food sensitivities It's not just that he doesn't like certain foods Some textures are genuinely overwhelming for him Eggplant, asparagus, apples and brussel sprouts Are on his list of foods he just can't handle And I've always respected that My mom on the other hand doesn't She's never really taken the time to understand Ronnie's needs And insists that he's just being picky or difficult I've tried to explain it to her many times

[00:09:00] But she doesn't seem to take it seriously Recently she invited us over for dinner She said it would be a nice family evening And I figured we'd give it a shot When we got there I immediately noticed That most of the dishes she prepared Were things Ronnie struggles with It felt intentional Like she was trying to prove a point Ronnie was visibly uncomfortable But tried to stay polite I could tell he was trying his best To handle the situation But eventually it became too much for him

[00:09:30] He started tugging at his hair Something he does when he's overwhelmed Instead of showing any understanding or compassion My mom became upset with him for it At that point I decided Enough was enough I told her we were leaving And took Ronnie home It was really upset And told me how embarrassed And humiliated he felt It broke my heart Since then my mom has been flooding my phone With angry messages Accusing Ronnie of being ungrateful And me of spoiling him

[00:09:59] She's also posted about the situation on Facebook Calling us both disrespectful And making it seem like She was just trying to help Some family members think I should apologize To smooth things over But I honestly don't see why I should I feel like I did the right thing By putting Ronnie first But with all the backlash I'm starting to second guess myself Am I the arsehole? Absolutely not the arsehole in this situation And good for you for protecting your son Instead of forcing him to endure

[00:10:28] Abuse for the sake of family harmony And that's exactly what it is And I think that any family members Who's telling you to apologize Well first they're basically saying That your son's dignity and mental health Matter less than your mom's ego But I wonder if they've been told The full truth about this situation We see it time and time again You know the mom's probably gone to them Told them some twisted side of the story To get them on her side Because you'd think And you'd hope That anyone hearing this would go

[00:10:57] What the fuck is that mom doing? But not sure it's funny Says not the arsehole But it doesn't seem like Your mother has any respect for you As a fellow parent I'll start putting up your boundaries Where you can Another commenter says Never ever second guess Or apologize for putting Your child's needs first Not to your mom And certainly not drama Go on family members on Facebook Not the arsehole And your mom can go and suck a butt Another commenter says Add a mom to three ADHD kids

[00:11:26] And someone who has their own texture issues To hell with your mom You are absolutely not the arsehole You are your child's advocate I praise you for removing your son From that situation Your mom was being a bully And very disrespectful Tell others to kiss your arse You are the only one owed an apology And one more comment from Head Emotion Who says I've replied to one of her Facebook comments So everyone can see Mom, I don't know why you seem to Continually refuse my son's autism

[00:11:55] But it's real whether you like it or not Unfortunately Food issues are a very real part of that for him You purposely chose foods That you knew he has issues with That was not helpful in any way And only succeeded in causing my son Embarrassment and shame So until you bring yourself To learn more about his medical condition We'll have to limit our meals with you I can provide information links for you If you're interested in learning about How to actually help While this may feel harsh to you As a parent

[00:12:24] I must put my son's well-being first And I will not apologize for that So OP came in with her update And said Hey everyone First I wanted to address A few comments I've seen On my original post Some of you were confused About this account And thought it didn't fit me That's because It isn't mine It belongs to my niece She barely uses Reddit And kindly let me use it Since I'm not great with tech And didn't feel like Setting up my own account Just to share this I didn't think this would get So much attention

[00:12:52] I also saw some comments Accusing me of Enabling Ronnie's pickiness Or saying I'm letting him Eat an unhealthy diet I want to clarify that Ronnie does eat healthy And has a balanced diet He just has specific Sensory sensitivities Like many autistic people do Certain foods like Eggplant Asparagus And brussel sprouts Don't sit right with him Because of their textures Or tastes Not because he's picky Forcing him to eat things That overwhelm him Isn't helpful Or healthy And I always respect His boundaries When it comes to food

[00:13:22] My mom is still Slandering me on Facebook Calling me ungrateful And claiming I'm Ruining Ronnie By not letting her Fix him She's been spreading Misinformation about autism And accusing me Of alienating her From Ronnie It's exhausting But I've been ignoring her As much as I can And focusing on Ronnie's well-being I've decided to Channel my frustration Into a project A revenge dinner It's petty sure But after what she put Ronnie through I think is a fitting Way to make my point

[00:13:51] I'm planning a meal With all the food She absolutely despises Liver Like licorice Hickled herring And mushroom heavy Casserole She can't stand mushrooms Of course I won't force her To eat anything I'm not her But I think the message Will be clear Respect other people's Boundaries Especially when it Comes to food If she doesn't show up Well that's fine too It'd just be a fun dinner For me Thank you to everyone Who's been supportive Ronnie is doing much better Now that he's in a

[00:14:20] Calmer environment And I'm doing my best To keep things peaceful For him I'll let you all know How the dinner goes And I'll certainly look out For that revenge Dinner update But I personally Don't think it's Going to go well If the mother's Quite continually Going to Facebook To talk shit About OP I can't see That's someone Who's going to Change her ways Anytime soon But what do you Guys make Of this Situation Let us know Your thoughts Down in the Comments below And let's move on

[00:14:50] To another Story Now our next story Comes from the Am I the arsehole Subreddit I saw this title And I was like What? It's from Professionalkey3176 And it says Am I the arsehole For not selling my car Even though my fiancé Refuses to sit In the front seat Because my ex Sat there Hi everyone I'm 27 male Engaged to my fiancé 26 female And while we're Preparing for our Wedding Something recently Came up That's left me Confused

[00:15:19] And conflicted I want to know If I'm in the Wrong here Or if her Reaction is Unreasonable Here's the issue My fiancé Refuses to sit In the front seat Of my car Because my ex Used to sit there She says It makes her Uncomfortable And feels like She's taking What someone else Is Instead She insists On sitting In the back Seat Whenever we Go somewhere Which honestly Feels strange To me Like I'm Her chauffeur I offer to Sell the car If it truly Bothers her But she told Me not to Because it Would feel

[00:15:49] Like she's Forcing me To do Something However She still Won't sit In the front Seat And avoids Interacting With anything Related to My past Relationships This is part Of a bigger Pattern She's mentioned Multiple times That she doesn't Want to do Things I've Done with My ex Like cuddling On the couch During a movie Or visiting Places I've Been before I've tried To be Understanding Of her Feelings But I'm Starting to Feel like I'm being Held responsible For my Past Which I Can't Change It's Also Confusing Because She keeps In touch With her

[00:16:19] Own ex Occasionally Texting Or calling Him Which I Have no Issue With As I Trust Her Whenever These Situations Come up She tends To withdraw Emotionally Avoiding Physical Affection Not Saying Good Night Or Being Distant While I Love her And want To work Through This I'm Starting To feel Like I'm Walking On Eggshells Around Her Emotions Especially When they're Tied to Things I Can't Control Like My Past Now For me The car Seating In itself Was Just Wild But Then It Goes Into Other

[00:16:49] Things As Well I Mean Where Does This End Every Restaurant Every Vacation Spot Every Activity You've Ever Done With Someone Else You Can't Do You Gave A Couple Of Examples Of Cuddling On The Couch During A Movie Or Visiting Places You've Been Before So How About Just A Normal Cuddle A Normal Kiss On

[00:17:20] Has Just Sort Of Mask In Her Own In Securities She Won't Let You Sell The Car But Punishes You For Keeping It Gives You All This Shit About Your Ex Yet She's In Contact With Her Own Ex And You Can't Keep Going Continuing With Your Relationship Or You're Feeling Constantly Guilty About Your Past It's Not Right And It's Not Acceptable But Captain Was Taken Says She Is Crazy Cancel The Marriage And Run While You Can Will She Have The Same Issue With Having Sex Knowing You And Your Ex Were Intimate Does It Stay

[00:17:50] True For Sitting On The Car And On You Terry Sash Says Not The Asshole This Is Controlling Behavior Stop Playing Her Games If She Not To Marry This Woman In The First Place Even If You Don't Want To End The Relationship You Should Put Wedding Plans On Hold And Get Couples Counseling Tasty Answer Says Not The Asshole But You Been Way To Understanding OP

[00:18:20] Her Reasoning Doesn't Make Any Sense She Is Fine Kissing You Having Sex With You Which Are Both Things You Most Like Did With Your Ex But She Doesn't Want To She Is Making You Feel Guilty For Having A Very Normal Past Which Sounds Even More Ridiculous Given The Fact That It's Not Her First Relationship Either If She Has Exes So You're Not Allowed To Have

[00:18:50] Exes But She Can Talk With Hers This Is Very Unhealthy And To To To To To To To To This Nonsense OP Gave A Has Been An Eye Opening Experience I've Seen How Many Of You Have Dealt With Similar Situations Or Have Insightful Advice And I'm Truly Grateful For Your Honesty And Compassion After

[00:19:38] Past Life Is Too Short To Live In Fear Of Being Myself Your Stories About Finding Happiness After Letting Go Of Unhealthy Relationships Has Given Me Hope That I Can Do The Same This Is Definitely Not An Easy Decision But I Know It's The Right One For

[00:20:08] Situation Let Us Know Your Thoughts Down In The Comments Below And Just A Huge Thank You For Being Here Today Getting Involved In The Stories Your Love Your Support Your Time It Always Means The