My Mom Said To Look After My Siblings....It's Now Been 9 Weeks r/Relationships

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[00:00:34] This story is from Hannah J004 titled My Mom Asked Me To Watch My Siblings For A Week Its Been 9 Weeks My mom went out 2 days before Christmas and then texted me 12 hours later saying she would be gone for a week and for me to have the kids.

[00:00:53] She hasn't come back since, so almost 9 weeks. I've heard from her 3 times total and she is saying she isn't coming back anytime soon. She just keeps sending money. My siblings are 16, 13, 12, 9 and 7. I'm 19. I'm surviving looking after the kids myself and to be honest not much has changed because

[00:01:14] I did most of it when my mom was here anyway. We live with our nan but she doesn't help with them really either and my older siblings are long moved out. I guess my question is, is my mom being gone a serious issue legally and with social services?

[00:01:29] I don't want to risk the kids going into care, been there done that when I was younger so I haven't told anyone she's gone. I'm scared of what will happen if people find out so I don't want to even ask the question in real life.

[00:01:41] Someone on the back of that suggests to OP maybe they can get the nan to provide assistance on getting guardianship and OP says thanks. I dunno I guess all I know is I really don't want them going into care.

[00:01:53] The system where we live is shit and I just don't want them to go through that. I don't feel like my life prospects are great anyway and I don't want to send them

[00:02:00] into care so I can maybe have a bit of a better life because I doubt I would anyway and I think the guilt would torture me more than just sticking it out with them.

[00:02:09] Maybe if I didn't already do everything for them before my mom left then this would feel worse but I already have taken care of them for years already and I don't think I can abandon them.

[00:02:18] My nan might agree to that but now she just says my mom will be back soon. She refuses to help with the kids generally because she's been there done that or whatever and says she's too old.

[00:02:29] Expert Angle says you need to report your mother for abandoning her kids but at the same time tell them you will look after them. Your mom needs to learn that she can't do this to her kids and needs to be brought up on child abandonment charges.

[00:02:42] OP says I would do that if I was guaranteed I could keep them but I don't know if that's even possible or at all likely with so many of them and we aren't rich.

[00:02:51] Maybe 1 or 2 kids they would say ok but 5 just seems unlikely they would let me keep them. Another commenter says is there any other trusted adult in your family? Aunt, uncle, cousin something maybe they could come help you keep your family together.

[00:03:05] OP says we have some aunts and uncles but none we are close to or seem like they care. I could try that route I guess. My older siblings are most likely to give a shit and even they aren't being very helpful.

[00:03:16] Amber says why do you think your life prospects aren't good? You're 19 you have your whole life ahead of you. This is really unfair of your mom to put on you. I totally get not wanting your siblings to go into the system but you need to think about

[00:03:30] setting yourself up to be in a position where you could take care of them if that's your goal. The youngest is 7 you're looking at a long road of caregiving if you go this route and you need to be able to support yourself and them if that's your goal.

[00:03:43] OP says I didn't do great in school, we don't have much money, live in a shitty area. I can tick most of the boxes for things that set you back in life.

[00:03:52] I work now and make a decent wage but I just can't imagine being able to enjoy that if I abandoned my family. I've thought about it a lot and I used to wish I could just go and live my own life but

[00:04:02] reality is I would have no one and nothing to live for. Sarah Odell says where the fuck did she go? Is she in trouble on drugs? Even if she comes back this is super shady maybe she shouldn't be caring for them. You need to call someone.

[00:04:17] OP says she's done it before, usually she goes to the same city but I have no idea what she does when she's there. She tells everyone she's looking for her dad but that's bullshit. As far as I know she doesn't do drugs but she's had issues with alcohol.

[00:04:32] She's shit in the mum department but she doesn't care for them even when she is here. I do. Anonymous white girl says file emergency guardianship. You're an adult so I don't see the law removing them if under your legal care. Not sure. Where are your older siblings?

[00:04:46] Do they know what's going on? OP said they moved out at 18 and we very rarely see them. I've told them she's gone but they don't think it's a big deal as she has done it before.

[00:04:56] A commenter talks about if the mother has any type of benefit that might be helpful or if the father is in the picture and if OP knows what liability she has with her siblings.

[00:05:05] OP says I don't know, I don't have power of attorney or know how I can even get that. I assume it would come with legal guardianship. I think she does and I don't know the details or how much.

[00:05:16] She goes through phases of talking about that stuff but she also lies a lot. She claims she gets nothing from the government but she also claims she got thousands from our dad which is impossible because he's the definition of a train wreck and I don't know

[00:05:29] when he has even had a job. OP then says as in if they got hurt in my care. We don't have access to that kind of thing as far as I know. We live in a small rural town with minimal access to a lot of services like that.

[00:05:42] I'm trying to find out but not having much luck. I can make 4-5k a month depending on what shifts I'm able to do. Lately, I can only work 30 hours a week when the kids are in school so I can't earn as

[00:05:54] much but my mom has sent money and my nan covers most bills so I don't have a huge amount of expenses. Food for 5 kids is a lot but I'm doing ok so far and can save a small amount. Food, clothes should be fine.

[00:06:06] I mainly worry about birthdays and other big expenses like that but that's why I'm trying to save as much as possible for those times. No idea where my dad is, we haven't seen or heard from him for around 5 years.

[00:06:17] We've had some serious abuse allegations from my older siblings and he hasn't been seen since. Before that he would come and go. The age gaps between the siblings are the times he disappeared. He would vanish for sometimes years then reappear and they'd have a couple more kids.

[00:06:33] I want to keep them here with us so I really just need advice on how to go about that. Letting them go into care would kill me so it's not really the advice I'm looking for but I do understand why everyone is saying that.

[00:06:45] So then OP came in with her first update and said I spoke to my mom on the phone and told her I want her to give me custody of the kids since she is refusing to come back or say

[00:06:54] when she will be back and I'm done with her bullshit. We argued for like an hour but in the end she said she would do it after I told her I was going to call the police on her.

[00:07:04] Before speaking to her I spoke to a lawyer and I should be able to get legal guardianship through a parenting order which will go through court. My 22 year old brother said he will move home and help me under the condition that my mom

[00:07:15] doesn't move back as he refuses to be around her. His income and input will help a lot since he seems serious about wanting to be involved with parenting and taking care of the kids especially our little brother as he needs a male role model badly.

[00:07:30] If we can't get custody then my nan should be able to. Either way my mom is very unlikely to keep custody unless she suddenly decides she gives a shit. I would bet my life she will never give a flying fuck.

[00:07:42] Getting legal custody is the outcome I want so I'm relieved it seems like a real possibility. Now I'm just trying to do a total overhaul of everything with the kids because I think they need a lot more structure, discipline, rules, routine than they had until now.

[00:07:56] I've realized I don't really know anything about good parenting so I have a lot to learn. Maybe I will get some books. Until now our house has been more like a house share with everyone doing what they want and

[00:08:07] running around feral rather than anyone really guiding the kids. I grew up even more feral and I don't think it's a good way to be raised. So I'm starting a bath and bedtime routine for the youngest two and a curfew for the teenagers.

[00:08:20] Because right now the 12 year old goes off on a skateboard and will just show up again at like 10pm on a school night. I've also been giving them much better food than they usually have and it's been rough

[00:08:30] to get them to eat healthy but we have made so much progress already. Any advice on instilling rules would be welcome as I don't think it will be easy and I have never had any kind of actual parent role model in my life.

[00:08:43] Vegan Monkey says to Opie on that update in another post you mentioned your dad, where is he? He should step up. Opie says he disappeared 5 years ago after my older sibling started talking openly about how he abused them. We haven't seen or heard from him since.

[00:08:58] He used to vanish for years at a time and come back when he was bored or whatever and my mum would try to keep him around with new babies but I don't think he will be back again.

[00:09:08] Another commenter asked if it is possible for Opie and Anand to get the siblings in therapy. Opie says thank you. We can't afford therapy and don't have access to it where we live.

[00:09:18] Even if we had the money I'm pretty sure it would be a 3 hour round trip to the nearest one. Times 5 would be impossible. I will definitely try to make sure to give them choices and listen to as much as possible.

[00:09:28] I already approach things differently with them as their personalities are so different. Some need me to be a lot more authoritative to even have a chance of them taking me serious. One cries if she even suspects I'm mad at her.

[00:09:40] It's a lot to learn but I'm willing to give it everything I've got and hope that will be enough. So then this post and the collection of posts up to that point made it into another subreddit

[00:09:51] and Opie came onto that one to give a small little comment update on that and said thank you so much for all your helpful comments here and messages offering help and advice. I will reply to them all when we can.

[00:10:02] Right now I'm putting all my energy into the new routine and trying to sort out legal guardianship so we can get money for the kids. Everything else is a problem for later on when we are more settled.

[00:10:12] My older brother came up last weekend and to be honest it was nice but weird because the younger kids don't even remember him and they pretty much clung to me for this entire time because having a man in the house is strange for them.

[00:10:24] But after he left they said they miss him and like having him here. He's been sorting his shit out this week and is coming back tomorrow with all his stuff and will be working remote from our house.

[00:10:34] Me and him have spoken a lot and I think we'll be able to get on the same page with the kids and make it work. I'm worried about some things with parenting differences but we will figure it out.

[00:10:43] I'm trying not to seem controlling but it's hard to adjust to someone else being very involved when I've been looking after them by myself. I know I need him though. My nan was actively trying to undermine me and we had an argument.

[00:10:56] My brother got here and he had an argument with her in the first half hour so she has gone to my aunts for a wharf. She is still paying the bills but if she stops we will be ok with my brothers money and mine.

[00:11:07] My brother wants to take the kids and move house but I'm not even thinking about that until everything else is sorted out. Now that things are actually changing our older sisters are more interested and have been messaging me so they might help as well.

[00:11:20] The kids are not taking the new routine too well but we are making progress so I'm trying to stick with it. I made a meal plan and have stuck to that all week. My 9 year old sister told me she likes rules which makes it feel worth it.

[00:11:33] The teenagers are kind of a nightmare but I'm trying to persevere with them. 13 year old was being horrific and I lost my shit and made her have an emotional breakdown and now she's been a lot better. 12 year old has taken it ok-ish.

[00:11:46] He just tells me I'm a loser all the time and asks for his skateboard back a million times a day but I know he knows where it is so he is being pretty good considering he could just take it back if he really wanted. 16 year old is hell.

[00:11:58] 7 year old has like 3 tantrums a day and won't eat or sleep so she stresses me out probably the most. My mom hasn't called anymore but is complying with giving us custody and told her friend it's the best thing that's ever happened to her.

[00:12:12] I can't be arsed with her and if she tries to come back I will do everything I can to keep her away from the kids. Next update. Hi, not sure if doing multiple updates is ok but I've had a lot of messages since

[00:12:23] the best of reddit are update posts and think it'll be easier to update people who are interested like this as replying to all is hard. Thanks to the advice we have realized that getting kinship is a better choice for us financially than getting legal guardianship.

[00:12:37] This wasn't mentioned to us by the lawyer or social services so I'm grateful for everyone we will have so much less financial stress on kinship and will get access to a lot more services for the kids.

[00:12:48] Things are already seeming so much less scary, my brother has come home to help me and is working remotely for the same job which is ideal. He's been amazing at making it all happen so fast and packing up his life to move back.

[00:13:00] He is still back and forth at the moment but should be here full time besides a few days a month when he has to be there in person. Our oldest sister has said she will send some money every month to help us but doesn't

[00:13:10] want to be involved other than that. I understand why and am very grateful she is helping, honestly it hurts a bit that she refuses to talk about the kids or anything but she is doing what she can handle right now I guess.

[00:13:23] Our other sister is working first in first out right now and has suggested coming back on her weeks off to help but I'm not sure if that will actually happen or work well in reality.

[00:13:32] My brother doesn't get along with her very well and says he doesn't think living with her again will work. The kids are struggling with the new rules and we have had some issues.

[00:13:41] The 16 year old hates me so my brother is trying to take over with her because I am bored of fighting with her. The others are doing better but still so difficult. The 7 year old won't sleep which is the hardest thing right now because I can't sleep and

[00:13:55] I'm tired as fuck. She has meltdowns when she's tired and she's always tired now so she's always having meltdowns. I don't know what to do with her. Everything I try to make her sleep doesn't work that well.

[00:14:09] She says she doesn't know why she can't, won't sleep so I don't know where to even start. My brother tried to get her to bed and she just cried and screamed for me.

[00:14:18] 12 year old is listening to our brother which is the best thing to ever happen because I was really worried about handling him since he listens to me never. 13 and 9 year old are easier and not stressing me out too much. So we are kind of divide and conquer now.

[00:14:33] My brother handles 2 and I handle the other 3. I found out I am very protective of the younger ones and find it very difficult to let my brother discipline them but causes less problems between us if I deal with them.

[00:14:44] Still early days and hoping consistency will fix a lot of the smaller issues. Long term we want to rent somewhere bigger as our nans house is very cramped and making things harder. This is long and messy. Sorry.

[00:14:58] Just wanted to update everyone who has asked and thank again everyone for the advice. On the back of that update lesbian sanza says glad to hear your brother is helping out, especially with the teenage siblings.

[00:15:09] It's hard for them to see you as an authority figure unfortunately as you're not that much older and it shouldn't be on you to deal with this. Having two people to be a united front for them will be hugely helpful in establishing boundaries.

[00:15:21] Sounds like the 7 year old might be dealing with anxiety. Kids are not great at identifying their own emotions. She's running from sleep because she doesn't feel safe to lie down and drop her guard. Strongly recommended getting them checked out by the GP if you can.

[00:15:35] Mention the trauma background. I know it's hard to find bulk billing GPs at the moment though. Divide and conquer is the right strategy. As is consistency as you mentioned. Would strongly recommend communicating the current home situation to the kids schools.

[00:15:50] They may be able to hook you guys up with some more social services and if nothing else it will be helpful for the teachers to be aware of the situation and dealing with behavioural issues. But I am a teacher so that's my bias lol.

[00:16:02] Opie replies saying yeah, I think him being that bit older and the fact that they haven't seen him for years has made him automatically more of an authority figure for the teenagers.

[00:16:12] The younger ones are a bit unsure of him still and I think they will adjust to him better if he isn't being the strict one straight off. It's hard to find a balance with the different approaches for each kid but 16 year old went

[00:16:23] to a party last night and was texting me arguing about the pre set up pick up time we gave her so my brother went together and she actually got into the car. If I had gone she would have 100% told me to fuck off.

[00:16:35] Yeah, she refuses to lay down and just hates her bed. Only way I can get her to sleep is by laying in her bed with her until I'm sure she's in a deep sleep and that's for hours of her physically fighting me, crying etc.

[00:16:47] Trying to get them to a GP is a huge struggle time wise and money wise. Will get them in ASAP but probably won't be that soon. Also don't have a car big enough for everyone so would have to go on separate trips as well.

[00:16:59] The teachers are aware of the situation, they know my mom is a piece of shit and I've been doing parents night etc for the kids for literal years. I told them she is away and I'm going for custody.

[00:17:11] Another commenter says 7 might be having bad dreams or maybe she feels being awake is the only time she has any control over her life. Did your egg donor leave during the night maybe? Either way insomnia is a bitch and I sympathize with you both.

[00:17:24] Will she quietly draw or watch videos during the night while you sleep? Does she have a night life and white noise? Opie says yeah, 7 year old woke up on Christmas eve to our mom being gone.

[00:17:35] To be honest she seemed kind of unfazed about it because she's not even remotely close to my mom. She's slept in my room from like 4 months old but it obviously has affected her.

[00:17:45] I think she probably is worried I will leave so she's trying to stay awake to make sure I'm still there. I tell her all the time I'm not going anywhere etc but she just freaks out about bedtime every single evening.

[00:17:56] Even if I keep her in the living room with me and hope she will fall asleep without any pressure, she stays awake way too late considering she has school in the morning. Then she still cries and says she just wants it to be morning already.

[00:18:07] The 4 kids are all in the same room and there is a night light in there but 13 year old turns it off because she says she can't sleep with any light. 7 year old has never said he needs light to be fair.

[00:18:19] She slept fine in the dark before all of this. OP's next update. Back with another update for those who asked. Can't believe it's been over 3 months now. We applied for kinship and have had the provisional approval and a home inspection and some interviews.

[00:18:33] We got a couple more things to do still ongoing and then we should be good. We got our first payment which has been so good and really made me feel much more optimistic about everything because we would be able to actually do something other than just survive.

[00:18:48] The case worker pretty much told me they don't want to have to find placements for this many kids but us keeping them is their much preferred option which is reassuring. My mum hasn't contacted me for a while.

[00:18:59] We thought she might show up on Easter because holidays are usually her time to cry about how much she misses our dad and she usually prefers to ruin everyone's day with that but she didn't come thank god.

[00:19:09] Our nan is still at our aunties because she can't stand to be around us apparently because me trying to feed them good food and not let a 7 year old disappear for hours on bicycles

[00:19:18] with kids 3 plus years older than her is just making me think I'm better than my nan. A lot of people said to try co-sleep with 7 year olds so I've started doing that. It's helping a bit and she actually will lay down so that's a win.

[00:19:31] She still cries a lot and tries to get up. She also does a death grip on me so I've kind of accepted that I have to go to bed when she does. It's not the worst thing ever because I've been looking things up and reading online

[00:19:42] whilst I lay with her and she eventually calms down. I've ordered melatonin to try. I share a room with 16 year old and she doesn't want 7 year old in there because it's kind of tough.

[00:19:54] I can't do anything about it until we move house which isn't going to be soon. It's not the most peaceful night we're in there because she kicks me and wakes up at random times trying to chat or cry because we are getting some sleep.

[00:20:06] She slept in my single bed with me from 4 months old when she was like 2. I clearly knew nothing about safe sleep but my mum had sold the crib to try and annoy my dad so she actually had nowhere else to sleep.

[00:20:18] I haven't told her that because I don't want to tell her mum didn't care that she didn't have a bed. But she seems to remember because she said we used to have sleepovers in your bed a lot didn't we?

[00:20:29] Also I got 16 year old ear plugs and told her she can sleep in 7 year olds bed in the other room if she prefers. I do my best to try and soothe 7 year old in general.

[00:20:38] She had one of her crying breakdowns last week and said she didn't feel safe or happy. Then she said she wishes I was a real mummy. I told her I am her real mummy because I've looked after her whole life and I won't ever leave her.

[00:20:50] She seems a bit happier since then. I'm going to get a photo of us in her little purse she carries everywhere. She's pretty sentimental so she will like that. Yesterday she asked if me and our brother are married lol obviously I said no and she

[00:21:05] said I just feel like you are my mum and dad. I hope that's a good thing even if it's a little weird. She is definitely bonding with him too. She always wants me to carry her around and when I say no because I'm busy he offers

[00:21:16] to do it and she lets him now. She used to ignore him. Seeing her snuggle into his neck and actually relax is the cutest thing. Makes my heart happy because I remember wishing I had a dad who would hold me and so I'm

[00:21:28] glad she's getting all the love. Me and my brother have had a few disagreements over discipline. He's pretty strict and usually that's a good thing because they need it to be honest but sometimes I find it a bit much.

[00:21:40] Biggest disagreement was when he smacked 9 year old and I lost my shit. We grew up with a lot worse and not gonna lie I've smacked him before but I don't want to be doing that anymore. Bro thinks there's nothing wrong with one smack on the bum.

[00:21:53] I would just rather we don't go there. He said he won't do it again and I don't think he will. He wasn't angry when he did it and I'm not really concerned about it and he apologized We're just trying to figure out discipline.

[00:22:06] Our dad used an electric cord as a whip so one smack on the bum is practically gentle parenting to us. I've read enough to know we don't want to be doing any physical disciplining though. Worst thing I've had to do is give the youngest two suppositories.

[00:22:19] My sister gave me money to take them to the GP because I was worried about them and couldn't find any for free and didn't want to wait for kinship. Turns out they are both malnourished, underweight and constipated as fuck and they've missed some vaccines.

[00:22:33] For the constipation we tried medicine and more fiber and more water but no bueno so it had to be the suppositories because the doctor said it was verging on severe. I tried to explain it to them and make the whole thing easy but it turned into quite

[00:22:46] the drama. 9 year old was easier but still took me a while, 7 year old was impossible and everyone got too stressed on day 1 so we left it and she's still not complying on day 2 so my

[00:22:57] brother had to get involved and pretty much had to hold her down because I called the doctor and she said either we do it or I take her in and they do it so we had no choice really. I still feel horrible about it.

[00:23:09] I'm obsessed with what they're eating now because I don't want anyone going through that again but I will say they are a lot lot better since, they aren't getting tummy aches and they aren't so grouchy and it's helped 7 year old with her sleep for sure.

[00:23:21] We are getting the other 3 to the doctors next week, we will do telehealth after but I want them to see someone in person for the first appointment. After that the next thing on the list is dentist, we have looked at therapy and should be getting telehealth sessions soon.

[00:23:35] So far all 3 teenagers have said they aren't doing therapy but I will try to make them at least try it. 16 year old is still difficult, she took my ID and was going out whenever she liked but

[00:23:46] my brother grounded her and she's actually listened and not tried to sneak out. The other 3 are doing ok, no big issues with them to be honest, they are adapting pretty well I think.

[00:23:56] I try to talk to them all about everything when I can and they seem to understand what's going on and trust that we won't be going anywhere and we just need them to cooperate with us so we can get through.

[00:24:05] My little brother Jay, 12 is obsessed with older bro. I used to have an issue with Jay going out every evening for hours and was so stressed about trying to keep him home and safe but Matt being here has basically eliminated the issue.

[00:24:18] Jay wants to be around him all the time and Matt has somehow got this kid thinking doing homework with him is the best thing ever. Sorry this is so long again, I don't know how long I will keep doing these updates but

[00:24:30] for now everyone is so incredibly helpful that I want to carry on posting because I always need more advice. The advice and support from everyone in the comments and PMs has been amazing and actually helped change our day to day life for the better.

[00:24:41] So thank you so much internet strangers. And OP's final update so far which says my previous post explains everything but short version is our mom left right before Christmas and now I'm looking after my 5 younger siblings.

[00:24:56] 16 year old has been a pain in the ass the whole time, so unhelpful, permanently grumpy, arguing about everything and winding up the younger ones just to be annoying, basically making my life harder every chance she gets.

[00:25:07] She got her phone confiscated today because she was videoing our little sister having an emotional meltdown and laughing at her. Later on whilst I was putting the phone away I saw a message from our mom pop up saying some horrible shit.

[00:25:21] My mom hasn't messaged me in weeks and 16 year old hasn't mentioned messaging her at all so I was like wtf. Took me a few attempts to get into her phone but I got in and saw so many messages, mostly

[00:25:32] her begging our mom to come home and our mom either ignoring her or telling her to come to the city she's in right now. 16 year old sent her so many messages saying our younger siblings need her and our mom

[00:25:43] replies saying I think I know how to raise them better so she is leaving me to it since I don't want her here. Most recent one was 16 year old asking why she doesn't care about us and our mom basically

[00:25:53] saying she has better things to do than sit here and listen to us all tell her everything she was doing wrong all the time. I knew she was having a hard time but reading her messages to our mom had broken me and

[00:26:06] I just want to stop her hurting so much. She basically hates me right now so comforting her is very hard because she will not open up even a bit whenever I speak to her about it she acts like she doesn't care.

[00:26:18] I don't know what to do or say to her. Meanwhile my older sister just calls me periodically to tell me she wishes she could help but she can't because of a list of reasons including but not limited to but not being able to face

[00:26:30] being around our youngest sister because our parents said she was a replacement and older sister can't get over it which is like ok but baby sis just turned 7 and big sis is

[00:26:40] almost 25 so at some point she needs to try and get past that and realize it's not the little ones fault. Big sis is struggling because she feels like I'm her kid apparently and she wanted me

[00:26:50] to come live with her when I was younger but I chose to stay here and let my mom get away with not parenting. The alternative is my siblings being neglected and abused like we were.

[00:27:01] Anyway I don't have time to be dealing with her emotional issues on top of everyone else's and she's whining to me like oh I had to take time off work because I've had a hard

[00:27:10] time mentally which makes me feel so great when I'm working my ass off to feed 5 kids and dealing with a million behavioral issues a day I don't have time to do anything. Before everyone starts shouting therapy, yeah it's in the works.

[00:27:23] Trying to get telehealth arranged but it's taking forever. We can't afford anything else so that's the best we have for now. Until then it's good old fashioned just get on with it and try not to fuck up the kids anymore than they are already.

[00:27:36] That is an incredibly sad situation and I'm just thinking that the mom still messing with a 16 year old like she is right now just makes it 10 times worse. I feel so sorry for OP, the brother, everyone, all the siblings in this story they've all

[00:27:52] been through so much even the ones that's moved away who knows what they went through when they were younger and whilst it's just incredibly sad for OP they haven't been able to live their life from a very young age I'm glad that these other children do have OP

[00:28:05] in their life because she sounds like an amazing person and I'm super glad that places like Reddit do exist for OP to be able to help them through these situations like this. And it did feel like very generational as well because the way the nan acted in this

[00:28:20] situation you know just abandon OP as well at the same time because she's trying to help her younger siblings. Oh man it's totally messed up and there were some comments talking about the 16 year old

[00:28:31] needs to grow up etc or just leave and whilst the behavior is bad and it's toxic etc there's clearly lots of trauma going on she's clearly missing her mum it won't be good for her missing

[00:28:44] her mum and everything that's gone on in her past her mum's clearly stringing her on giving her some kind of little false hope here and there and it's totally messing her up but

[00:28:54] now I'm gonna turn this one to you guys what do you guys make of this situation let me know your thoughts down in the comments below and hopefully I will see you in the next one take care and much love.