My Mom Let Our House Go Into Foreclosure, Didn't Say Anything And Blamed Me r/Relationships

[00:00:02] Summer, Sonne, so was von besonders. Jetzt die coolen Mercedes-Benz Sommerhits entdecken. Über 4000 attraktive Vorführ- und Geschäftswagen aus unserem Bestand, von A-Klasse bis V-Klasse, von Cabriolet bis SUV. Alle kurzfristig verfügbar, alle zu Top-Konditionen, alle für Sie bereit.

[00:00:22] Sommer, Sonne, Sommerhits. Nur bei Ihrer Mercedes-Benz Niederlassung vor Ort. us on 4Alt. Hey Waffle Gang, I do hope you are well. My name is Mark and today we're checking out some more Reddit stories.

[00:00:37] And if you do love a Reddit story, why not consider hitting that like, subscribe, maybe that notification bell too. And let's crack on with today's first story. Now today's first story comes from our very own subreddit r slash mark narrations from user mccnxhild.

[00:00:53] Not sure if you can pronounce that or not. I do apologize. And it's titled my mother let our house go into foreclosure and didn't say anything. I read it. I'm typically someone who just listens to other people read Reddit posts.

[00:01:08] I never really thought I'd be the type to post about something. We all have something. And even now, I'm not really sure if this is the right subreddit. So anyway, I 25 female have lived in one house my entire life.

[00:01:22] This is my childhood home and the only place I've ever known as home. Earlier this year, I was looking to move out to start my independence journey. My older sister 28 female and her husband 35 male and their baby who was turning two

[00:01:37] this year lived with my father 60s male and my mother 53 female and I for the majority of the year of 2022 and closed on the house this January moved out the first week of February.

[00:01:50] It was agreed that my mother would live part time with my sister to watch her baby while She and my brother-in-law worked during the day and because they moved about 45 minutes away who would just be easier to have a stay the whole week rather than bring her back

[00:02:03] and forth. My mother does not drive and has not driven in years due to a slew of medical issues. Once while my sister and brother-in-law lived here, they found letters about foreclosure and asked my mother if needed help and everything which she insisted no, everything was fine

[00:02:21] and under control. At that time we had 4 adults with income in our house. About a month after they moved out my father and I found a foreclosure letter and approached my mom about it.

[00:02:32] She insisted that everything was okay and she had it and these were just scams and fake things. I looked into the company that sent the mail and they were a scam company and apparently the state I live in it's very common to have these kind of scammers.

[00:02:46] I do not know much about owning a house or any of that for that matter so I genuinely did not know any better. As for my father he has never been very tech savvy or with times on the internet so my

[00:02:58] mother always handled the bills and everything and told him every month she paid the bills for which he believed her because why would his wife lie? She was at least paying all the other bills, water, electric etc.

[00:03:12] Last week my dad pressed her for the mortgage information as we were getting more and more people reaching out to help us or buy our house. Immediately after pressing her she gave him the information in which he logged in

[00:03:24] and found out she has not been paying our mortgage for nearly 3 years. My mother has not been working for several years we have been fighting to get her social security and disability due to her medical conditions that make it hard to work.

[00:03:38] My father has been our sole provider for the house he has always made more than enough to take care of the bills. I always said if it was needed or wanted of me I would also chip in which my parents insisted I didn't.

[00:03:50] The last few months I decided not to move out at the start of this year since everyone had left the house and it was basically my father and I, money I set aside to move out

[00:04:00] I used for other things, thing is now I changed my plan to move out come the summer rather than February. We were completely blindsided, I found that at work, scrambled to talk to my boss and my therapist for 4 years.

[00:04:13] I was outside my job sobbing to the point people I didn't know were checking in on me. For nearly 3 years my mother had not been paying bills for the mortgage, which we have always had the money for.

[00:04:25] Allowing my dad to spend money because he was assured by her that the bills were paid and never said a thing to anyone. We are now down to the wire, we have found out it has gone through the whole process

[00:04:36] and we have till July to find a place for us to live as well as our pets. She has given no reason as to why she did this other than her depression got really bad and that she did but didn't pay the bill.

[00:04:49] What she is referring to is back in 2021, she had my father take out 10k from his 401k and said she was giving it to my grandfather. She lied, she gave it to the mortgage lender who screwed her over and did nothing to help us.

[00:05:02] My heart is broken, this has been my family's home for over 30 years, my personal home for 25. All of my memories are in this house, all of my firsts, all of my everything. We have pets that have come and gone in this house, memories, people and now it's all

[00:05:18] gone and I won't even get a proper goodbye. I now have to find a home for myself, my father and our animals. He's looking for an RV for himself and to take some of the animals while I'm in hopes of renting a house to bring the others.

[00:05:32] But my income isn't that too amazing and the state I live in, the cost of living is insane. I only have a window of time to make moves and figure out what to do.

[00:05:42] All of this while grieving this home and I feel like I'm grieving a mother who no longer exists. I look at her and have no idea who she is anymore, she has always been a bit wonky.

[00:05:53] She used to always tell me as a kid, mother is right and right she'll always be, like a mantra but for the most part she's been a good mom. We've butted heads and about 6 years ago her mother died and she became very codependent

[00:06:07] on me and it took me a few years to work through that in therapy. And now for 3 years she's been lying to my face about my home, about what to do, allowing me to relocate my money rather than encouraging me to move out.

[00:06:19] To just sit back and say nothing, to allow me to lose my livelihood in 3 months time and say nothing. She told my aunt, well I told her to save money, as if I am to blame for this.

[00:06:31] She continues to be pretending nothing is happening at my sister's house and play with my niece and use her for a coping mechanism. Meanwhile my heart is broken, I'm completely and utterly devastated.

[00:06:43] I'm in this house everyday watching my father and I take all the pictures down and pack up this home and have nothing left. I wasn't sure where to post this but I really needed to get it out so I guess this is more

[00:06:54] of a rant or venting post than anything. Advice would be amazing and support would be neat too. I may update if anything happens, I will also answer questions if needed. Also please do not blame my father, this was not his fault.

[00:07:09] Update A lot has transpired and please check my profile where I posted a very long update about things if you're interested, which of course we're going to cover in a moment.

[00:08:35] I came in with an update and said hi again reddit. About 2 weeks ago I made a post here telling the story of how for the last few years my mother kept this secret that the home her, my father and I were living in was in foreclosure.

[00:09:04] Go to my profile if you'd like to see the full details on that because this is about to be an update. So it has been now 2 weeks of getting our lives together, my father and I have been

[00:09:13] working on packing up things and what he will and I will keep when we move. We're going our own separate ways while my mother will live with my older sister and her husband and their daughter.

[00:09:23] Since everything happened my father has been very angry and it does not help that he has been off his medication for about 2 months or so now. His medication helped him with his brain and temper from when he had meningitis from

[00:09:34] when I was a kid and he suffered from some mild brain damage. I have since seen and spoke to my mother who provided some answers from how this all happened and what she did etc.

[00:09:44] I don't really want to go too heavy into detail on that but she and I are working on mending our relationship and she has since started therapy and seeing a psychiatrist. My father on the other hand has turned all his anger onto me, nearly every night screaming

[00:09:58] at me that I need to get shit done and how no one is helping him with anything and he has so much shit to do. This has been emotionally draining and traumatizing for me as I have literally done everything I possibly can to help.

[00:10:11] I have packed up and thrown away so many things in the house but clearly this is very hard, I am sifting through years worth of family memories that everyone refuses to look through.

[00:10:20] There has been a lot I have done for my father such as help him renew his car tag, set up a car and medical insurance, get his credit card set up on account and enroll him into

[00:10:29] auto pay for specific things as he has a difficult time doing things like this. He often will enroll in scams and believe anything on the internet, a very typical boomer pretty much. But every night he continues to feel as if myself and everyone is against him and no

[00:10:45] one is helping him. Over the weekend I told him I would be out Saturday night and I spent all day Friday and Saturday packing up my mother's things with her so when he would come home her stuff would be gone, which it was.

[00:10:58] But there were a few small things left all centered in one area and I received a nasty text from him telling me how pissed off he was that it was still there, that he thought my sister and her husband were taking the rest of their belongings as well.

[00:11:10] They still had to make one more trip at this point to get the rest of their stuff and before myself or anyone could explain he began calling and cussing everyone out over the phone and

[00:11:20] after screaming at my sister and mother he said he would throw all my stuff out before I came home. And then later that night I received the following text. Now I told your sister, I told your mother, I'm telling you.

[00:11:32] Have people that are supposed to come look at this house this week, this shit was supposed to be cleaned out of here, you're supposed to be fucking helping me.

[00:11:38] I don't give a fuck now if any of you is ever going to talk to me ever again, if you're not going to do anything stay the fuck out of my way and that's the end of it. I didn't respond to this text as I was just shocked.

[00:11:50] I managed to stay away until Monday night by staying with friends or my sister. Returning home Monday night was anxiety inducing, I was scared to see him and hear what he would have to say.

[00:12:00] None of my stuff was thrown out thankfully so I began clearing out more of our family belongings which at this point mostly everything is cleared out of our house. The only things left were his belongings and mine and then the kitchen and bathroom necessities.

[00:12:13] We have piles of things for a garage sale that we didn't have a place to put aside, aside from our empty living room. At this point I'm in tears because I've thrown away most of our family's Christmas decorations as well as started to sort through other family belongings.

[00:12:27] He tells me he was planning a garage sale for this weekend in which I remind him that I will not be home as I planned a trip back in January that is already paid and taken care of.

[00:12:36] To which he screams at me that I need to cancel my trip and look at what I need to do, and then reiterated that no one is helping him in this and he's doing everything alone and

[00:12:45] This is exactly where I stand with him, he says he's just going to throw everything away, doesn't give a fuck anymore about the stuff anymore and to fuck off. I tried to tell him I planned this months ago and couldn't cancel and I told him a long

[00:12:58] time ago and also told him when this all started two weeks ago. He's manic, he's scary, he's angry, he's unmedicated. I've seen him like this for very brief moments in time when he's forgotten to take his meds

[00:13:11] or briefly stops but never for this long or this angry at me. Unfortunately for a lot of my younger years he took this anger out on my mother the way he is doing this to me now and I'm just getting a taste of what she's experienced for the

[00:13:24] last 20 years and I cannot do it anymore. Last night was the first time I've truly broken down. I have to find homes for a lot of our family pets, I have to find a home for myself.

[00:14:04] I've applied for an apartment, fingers crossed I get approved and the last two weeks I was trying to help my father with housing. I'm hoping this apartment complex will take me as my move in date, would be in two weeks and I'll be out ASAP.

[00:14:18] I know this isn't much of a happy update, I wish things were better, I wish I had better things to say. If anyone has any advice or anything I'd be happy to listen. Hopefully I'll be back soon with happier news. Thanks for reading.

[00:14:30] And we do have another update in a moment but reading that post it reminded me where you said at the very end of the first post you know don't blame your dad for any of this

[00:14:40] I forgot to mention I still felt like your dad was partially to blame. I know we could be talking about the medication side of things where he's flipped at the moment right here but it brought me back to when he wasn't dealing with any of the paperwork

[00:14:53] for the houses because he doesn't know how to deal with that kind of thing blah blah blah it just felt like weaponized incompetence. It gets mentioned a lot in these posts and it certainly felt that way to me.

[00:15:04] Before we get into OP's next update they've put a trigger warning on the story itself of mentions of pet loss so if you do want to skip this update timestamps are always down in the description along with the timeline below.

[00:15:18] All that good stuff please feel free to do so. This is hi again Reddit users this is my second update and I guess more of an ending to what has happened to my house, my life and family.

[00:15:28] A few months ago I was scrambling to find out how to get my life together due to losing my house to foreclosure without my mother telling me. I was also dealing with the trauma of my father losing his shit on me and everyone around us.

[00:15:40] Since then I've been able to secure an apartment and move into it in May with my three kitties. Our house was sold and my father took a large sum of money to figure out his own living situation and was able to take our family dog.

[00:15:53] He and I are on better terms as of right now, though I'm still hurt and reeling from his previous actions and actions today. Things have been beyond rough and rocky since then. My parents hated each other and divorce was imminent and my family was broken as was I.

[00:16:10] For several months things seemed to ease out and was finally looking up, until I was hit by my cat, my precious boy, getting very ill. He'd been sick for a while and I was treating him the best I could and on the 4th of July

[00:16:23] he suffered from a seizure sending us to an emergency vet but later that day I had to put him down. To say I was devastated is beyond an understatement. That cat was my world, my lifeline and then he was gone and I felt so lost.

[00:16:39] Thankfully I have incredible support in my friendships that have managed to help me survive and without them I am genuinely unsure if I'd still be here and a great therapist I've been seeing for years. During this time I've also been diagnosed with DDD, degenerative disc disease, which

[00:16:56] just means the soft tissue in my spine is wearing away faster than normal. I thankfully have been treating this with physical therapy. Now onto the recent stuff, about a month ago my car was broken down and there's a total loss.

[00:17:09] I'm temporarily borrowing my brother-in-laws car until I'm able to get a new one. New to me, not brand new. And the stress of this has been drastic. My father was supposed to help me get a car but he's blown through the money he got from

[00:17:22] selling our house and can only help me a little bit. I barely make it month by month. On top of that my mother and other kitties had fallen ill and I've been treating her and that has not been cheap.

[00:17:33] My family connections feel so strange due to all the damage they have done to me and I constantly feel burdensome asking for help and they make me feel like a problem. I don't have much, I try to get everything together and manage things but it's so hard

[00:17:46] on my own. I always feel lost with all the things keep happening and I'm barely able to stay afloat financially. But I guess I've made it to the other side finally. I'm not sure what my family relationship will look like in the future but right now

[00:17:59] I need to rely on them at least a bit for a vehicle until I can get my own. If anyone has emotional support to offer or advice I would love that. Thank you for everything. OpieGym comes in with what they title their final update.

[00:18:12] This is for Hi Reddit users, this is going to be my final update in my story. I originally cross posted my first post here in rslashraisedbynarcissist. And I made two updates there. This is the ending of my story. And the trigger warning of mentions of pet death again.

[00:18:29] This has been 10 months in the making of the insane buffoonery that has happened to me. From losing my house, my best friend, cat, family and car I finally with confidence and peace can say I think things have completely settled. Last updated was 3 months ago.

[00:18:44] I was still reeling from the loss of my cat, still am, but I'm healing and being comforted all the time by my two other little babies. I've also been in therapy for years and my therapist has been a great guide through everything

[00:18:56] and is helping me with my grieving process. My apartment life has been really fun and peaceful aside from a few issues I've had but I suppose that's apartment living. And it's finally fully furnished.

[00:19:08] I have a couch and table so I can enjoy the space I have and not only have a bed to sit on, I've even hosted having friends from out of state come over. My car situation has improved too.

[00:19:19] I was able to get a Honda Civic from a co-worker who was selling theirs and I couldn't be happier with it. I actually got some cute seat covers for Christmas and now it feels super decorative and mine.

[00:19:30] Now as for the relationship with my family, my dad has simmered down a lot. How he acted during this time was beyond not okay and he has said that. He's also apologized for his outbursts. Part of it was from getting off his medication called turkey.

[00:19:45] Apart from the stress of the situation which doesn't make things okay but explains it, my mother is still very much all over the place a lot of the time. I'm still hurt by what she caused to happen and still work through all of this in therapy

[00:19:56] and just by myself. Funny enough, my parents got back together. Not sure if that was mentioned in the last post but alas they are. A foolish childish part of me still craves a connection with my parents and wants to have a normal adult and parent relationship with them.

[00:20:12] To do this there are many boundaries in place. I want to work on all ends that need to be done. I know for a fact things will never be the same and this pain they caused me may likely never go away.

[00:20:23] But I do think there's a shod of semblance of a normal family that can happen here. I'm currently working on it with them and in regular contact with my therapist about taking care of me as well.

[00:20:33] But more than anything, my friendships have been strengthened so much through this. It really showed up when I needed them almost and I could never repay them for that but I'm going to spend the rest of my life showing up and giving them the same unconditional love

[00:20:46] they showed me. Thank you to those who reached out to me, gave advice and everything. This was the worst, most difficult year of my life but I somehow managed to make it to the other side.

[00:20:56] And for that I have a lot of love from kind strangers and my friends to thank. May your new year be full of love and hope and may 2024 treat you well.

[00:21:05] You have been through a hell of a lot and firstly I would just like to say I'm extremely sorry for the loss of your kitty. And I just want to highlight this comment from Purple Lilac below that thread that says you've had such a stressful year.

[00:21:19] I'm glad to hear things are calming down. Regarding your family, it's okay to work on your relationship with your parents but make sure you aren't the only one making the effort. Don't let either of them rug sweep or make you take responsibility for their behavior.

[00:21:35] Which I'll be responding saying thank you for your kind words and it means a lot to me to hear this. I absolutely will not let them sweep things under the rug or make me take responsibility.

[00:21:44] I thankfully have an amazing team of support between my therapist and friends to make sure I don't fall into a bad routine or space with them. And I gotta agree with that comment really and that if you are going to work with your

[00:21:57] parents and I wouldn't blame you either way really, I would be keeping them at arm's length until they earn their way back into your life really. I know we're talking a lot about the medication and I don't know how much this contributed

[00:22:10] towards it but the way that your dad spoke to you in that is absolutely horrific. But on the positives, I'm so glad that you're doing well, that you've got your own place, your own car, you're personalizing it, making it your own. I think that's absolutely wonderful for you.

[00:22:24] And throughout all this shit you've been through, you got to see all the real support that you have around you, your friends and therapist, you know your friends coming in to help you and the love that you have for them is something real special there.

[00:22:40] But now I'm going to turn this one to you guys. What do you guys make of this situation? What would you do if you was OP? Let us know your thoughts down in the comments below.

[00:22:52] Just a huge thank you from the bottom of my heart for getting involved in today's stories, your love, your support, your time always means the absolute world to me so thank you so so much and I will see you in the next one. Take care and much love.

[00:23:21] Smoke from the bacon. Yum yum yum. Let's go. See the sun shining from the windows. Yeah yeah yeah. Okay. I know that today will be a good day. Okay. I know that today will be a good day. Yeah yeah yeah. A B C. One two three.

[00:23:39] Drink some water. Brush my teeth. Summer. Sonne. So was von besonders. Jetzt die coolen Mercedes-Benz Sommerhits entdecken. Über 4000 attraktive Vorführ- und Geschäftswagen aus unserem Bestand. Von A-Klasse bis V-Klasse, von Cabriolet bis SUV. Alle kurzfristig verfügbar. Alle zu Top-Konditionen. Alle für Sie bereit.

[00:24:05] Sommer, Sonne, Sommerhits. Nur bei Ihrer Mercedes-Benz Niederlassung vor Ort.