My Mom Feels Entitled To My Money And Wants 65% Of My Salary r/Relationships

[00:00:03] Hey Waffle Gang, I do hope you're well. My name is Mark and today we're checking out some more Reddit stories

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[00:00:19] Much love guys now today's first stories from the entitled parent subreddit

[00:00:24] There's an update to this that came two years later

[00:00:27] And it's from effective friend one zero six and says my mom feels entitled to my money

[00:00:34] I want me to give her 65% of my salary

[00:00:38] My mom doesn't care about me or my life and most of the time she's out with her boyfriend doing God knows what

[00:00:45] I do my own shit and pay for whatever I want with my own money because I have a part-time job

[00:00:50] I'm still in school

[00:00:52] Yesterday I bought new headphones. I've been saving up for when my mom saw this

[00:00:57] She immediately asked me why I was wasting money on useless objects and told me to return it

[00:01:02] It's the crazy part

[00:01:03] She got pissed and now wants me to give a 65% or minimum 60%

[00:01:09] If she's feeling generous of the money I earn at my part-time job

[00:01:13] Because I'm her kid and I owe her that for raising me and paying the bills in the house. I live in

[00:01:19] She's insane

[00:01:21] If she wants money so bad

[00:01:23] She should ask her insufferable douchebag of a boyfriend for it and not her son who's still in school

[00:01:29] It's not like she even lends me or gives me money at all in the first place

[00:01:33] So now I have to pay to exist

[00:01:36] great

[00:01:37] Edit some extra info. I'm 16. I'm from the uk and yes, I've been saving to move out when I'm 18

[00:01:45] I started looking into emancipation too. My dad is not in the picture and I have no idea where he is

[00:01:52] I remember when I hit 17 and I got my first job and you know after a couple of months

[00:01:57] My mom and dad suggested pretty much that I start paying some form of rent towards the house

[00:02:04] You know, it's like pretty much a token amount. It really didn't matter that much

[00:02:08] And of course I was very accepting of it

[00:02:11] The way that you talk about your mom and the way that she treats you

[00:02:14] It's pretty much saying it all really that she's feeling generous. She might let you have 5% back. I mean, what the fuck?

[00:02:22] And berates you for buying stuff yourself

[00:02:24] Like when I was able to buy stuff for myself when I like I said first started my job

[00:02:29] My parents like they're pretty proud of me for doing so obviously

[00:02:33] They don't want to see me wasting money etc

[00:02:35] But I can remember how proud they were of me when I bought my first car

[00:02:39] I mean, it was a load of shit, but they're proud of me for it

[00:02:43] All I can say is I'm sorry that you're having to deal with that at the same time

[00:02:47] You know, you that the first line was absolutely heartbreaking for me. My mom doesn't care about me all my life

[00:02:53] It's just sad that is man. That's your child

[00:02:56] You've already said what you're going to do when you're 18 and that would have been my suggestion as well

[00:03:01] Is like you just get yourself out of there as soon as you can so you can live your life without the stress of her on your back

[00:03:09] But stunning field says stop telling her about your money

[00:03:13] But also on a long-term note

[00:03:15] Maybe you should chill on the fund purchases and save up for a much needed departure from your mom's home

[00:03:21] Sion god king says you do not owe her crap. She chose to bring you into this world

[00:03:26] Get your own bank account and while you're at it try to find all your documents versus if it gets social

[00:03:31] The second you're 18 grab them and get out then freeze your credit and monitor it constantly

[00:03:36] Trashy parents like her often open credit cards in their kids names and max them out

[00:03:42] Boppa Boppa says no mom. I work for my spending money

[00:03:45] So I don't have to ask you for any and says have you thought about your plans for when you graduate?

[00:03:51] If college start working hard on your grades so you can get a scholarship

[00:03:55] If your mom doesn't have much money, you can probably get a need-based financial aid

[00:03:59] If you're going to work after high school, where will you live with your mom?

[00:04:03] Save your money now so you can get a place with others if the military then that is another option

[00:04:10] Realistic animator says kids don't owe their parents for raising them. It is their job as parents

[00:04:16] Literally, their job is to ensure that offspring are fed clothes sheltered educated and kept safe

[00:04:22] Being instilled with some basic morality and kindness is a plus

[00:04:26] Speak with your dad grandparent aunt or uncle get your own bank account as soon as possible

[00:04:31] Call banks that she doesn't use and ask the age and personal information requirements to open an account

[00:04:36] Get your social security card birth certificate and keep them in a safe spot

[00:04:41] If you can't access them call the county to ask how you get a copy of your birth certificate and go online

[00:04:46] To social security to see about a copy of that

[00:04:50] You may need these as your mother may not give them to you when you decide to move out

[00:04:54] And a final comment from bunny slayer who says no it's a complete sentence stick with it

[00:04:59] If you receive live paper checks simply cash them and put them in a secure location. She has no access to

[00:05:06] If it's by direct deposit immediately withdraw the funds and do likewise with the cash

[00:05:11] She's your parent the law requires her to provide you with a minimum standard of care

[00:05:15] Sounds like that's all you're getting as it is. No child owes their parents for just being alive

[00:05:20] It's not like it was your choice to be born. Good luck

[00:05:24] So I said opi came in two years later

[00:05:29] And said hello

[00:05:30] It's been a little over two years since my post but I remembered that I had a reddit account recently and

[00:05:35] Logged in to find my post that I completely forgotten about

[00:05:38] Original post on my profile. Here's an update to my life since I posted that a short summary when I was 16

[00:05:44] My mom started insisting a pair of wages because apparently what I make is hers too

[00:05:50] Also, she didn't have a job at that time and was living off some government aid and her boyfriend

[00:05:55] I didn't end up giving my mom 65% of my money, but I did end up paying for a lot more stuff for her

[00:06:02] She stole my money a few times because her boyfriend is a fucking dickhead

[00:06:06] She had a little incident with him

[00:06:08] I didn't know how to explain it other than they got into a fight and they started throwing furniture at each other

[00:06:13] Which caused us to get evicted and they broke up

[00:06:17] Woohoo after that she still begged me for money other than that I just stayed out of her way for the most part

[00:06:24] I did my a levels and got a scholarship to university

[00:06:27] I managed to save enough so that i'm not completely broke

[00:06:30] I share a flat with my friends now and my mom sometimes texts me for stuff, but I mostly ignore her

[00:06:36] I'm sure most people who read my first post don't even use reddit anymore

[00:06:40] But thank you if you did

[00:06:42] I mostly posted a big about my mom, but it gave me a lot of good advice

[00:06:47] If anyone else has as much of an asshole of mom as I do and this is a reminder that it's possible to get out

[00:06:53] Just work hard and keep looking forward to things

[00:06:57] Thanks for reading

[00:06:59] And someone asked what opi was studying and they said politics in economics is great

[00:07:04] Thanks for the advice

[00:07:06] Pretty short and sweet update there and I'm glad that things worked out in the best possible way for op

[00:07:12] You know, it's fucking sad that they had to go through that and they got that parent who's still trying to hassle them

[00:07:18] And opi just needs opi sounds like they're just blocking out that noise for the most part

[00:07:23] I'm fair play to him. I hope they don't get dragged back into it in any way

[00:07:27] And they just continue to thrive which it sounds like they are doing at this moment

[00:07:31] But now I'm going to turn this one to you guys. What do you guys make of this?

[00:07:35] Situation let me know your thoughts down in the comments below and let's move on to another story

[00:07:41] Now our next story comes from entertainer key 8563 from the am i the arse?

[00:07:46] Or he has subreddit and says am I the arsehole for refusing to help a friend who didn't invite me to their wedding

[00:07:53] For about 11 years now

[00:07:55] I've 37 male been pretty close with let's call him john

[00:07:59] 38 male

[00:08:01] We met at a job in my mid 20s and we're pretty regular company up until the pandemic

[00:08:06] Where are hanging out including a circle of mutual friends has taken a decline but isn't extinct

[00:08:13] John and his partner, let's call her jane 36 female have been together for about eight years now

[00:08:18] Engaged for a little under two years

[00:08:20] Both with a child from previous relationships

[00:08:23] Though they have taken trips with their kids near yearly

[00:08:26] I've been happy to help visit john's now their home and check on things take care of their animals etc

[00:08:33] While they're gone

[00:08:34] I've helped them out with other projects and tasks over the years and most recently picked up jane from the airport

[00:08:40] Returning from a work trip and got a home this past winter during a snowstorm because my vehicle could handle it

[00:08:47] Generally, I've been present and helpful on top of our base friendship

[00:08:52] About five weeks ago. I found out from a mutual friend their wedding is coming up and invites went out a while ago

[00:08:58] Everyone in our circle, but me invited

[00:09:02] As a gay guy

[00:09:02] I've experienced being iced out of some of my straight friends lives and events in ways minor and pronounced

[00:09:09] But this one has definitely been something that had me thinking about my time and energy with people

[00:09:15] I decided I would take the hint and began to distance myself

[00:09:19] Three days ago, john texts me asking if I'm around in early to mid august

[00:09:23] I say I am

[00:09:24] John asks if I wouldn't mind visiting like I have before to look after the animals and property

[00:09:30] I said, sorry. I can't

[00:09:32] He calls to talk about it. We run through the same conversation

[00:09:36] polite but a bit tense so I finally say I just won't be visiting your home

[00:09:42] After a moment of silence

[00:09:43] I bring up that I'm disappointed that I appear to be the only person in our group of friends

[00:09:47] Not invited to his wedding and that I can't be helping like I have before. I'm just a background friend at this point

[00:09:54] I wrap up the call positively and sincerely with me wishing them a good wedding and trip

[00:09:58] And that maybe we can grab drinks soon

[00:10:01] Jane reaches out two days ago sending up follow-up text saying john is upset about what I said and with her

[00:10:07] Because she made the final course about friend invites and that I'm taking this the wrong way

[00:10:12] There is only so much capacity in that the others in our friend group have partners that took up space

[00:10:18] She adds that she hopes I'll change my mind and help them out because it will put john's mind at ease

[00:10:23] I'm not entitled to the company of others or invitation to anybody's events

[00:10:28] Am I wrong for setting my own boundaries in response to theirs?

[00:10:32] I try not to frame my friendships as transactional

[00:10:35] But they obviously want something out of me here despite they're not inviting me and then avoiding even bringing it up with me

[00:10:41] Until they needed help with covering their honeymoon

[00:10:45] Now you pretty much said it all within your post that there's some kind of imbalance within this friendship

[00:10:51] It and of course you're going to be hurt by not being invited to that wedding when the rest of your friendship group is

[00:10:56] So yeah, I didn't blame you for stepping back. You wasn't nasty about it. You just said no, you know

[00:11:03] You you're pretty much just saying enough is enough and

[00:11:06] I don't blame you one bit for it

[00:11:10] Anypony says not the arse-all in quotes about jane reaching out and says what a bogus excuse

[00:11:15] If your friends need someone to check up on their animals and property when they're on their honeymoon after a wedding

[00:11:20] You aren't invited to they can ask another friend or family member

[00:11:24] Your daisity of some people astounds me

[00:11:27] I'm a believer in putting the same energy into a friendship as you experience

[00:11:31] Opie says I don't pretend to be super savvy about wedding etiquette and I realize every wedding is different

[00:11:37] And lines have to be drawn about who can come or not

[00:11:40] But yeah, my mutual friend reaching out to me to coordinate plans for our friend group during the weekend of the wedding

[00:11:46] To find out I wasn't invited. Definitely stung and felt awkward and my friend was in disbelief as well

[00:11:53] Can admit and says not the arse-all this sounds like a really one-sided friendship

[00:11:57] And that they're taking your friendship for granted. How would you keep putting time and energy into them?

[00:12:03] Opie says like I've said, we've been pretty close up until now and I've happened to have the

[00:12:07] Availability when they need it often enough where we've been close enough before that I didn't mind or feel taken advantage of

[00:12:14] John's helped me as well in the past and try not to hold other people's lives and familial commitments against them

[00:12:19] But I was trying to paint a concise picture given the character limit of being I thought close

[00:12:26] The situation like I said definitely changed my perspective given the other friends invited

[00:12:31] But I wanted to make sure I wasn't making their wedding about me

[00:12:34] They approached me after excluding me so far people seem to agree which I'm relieved about

[00:12:40] Puzzy mum says not the arse-all you're good enough to be their house sitter

[00:12:44] But sure everyone else's plus one took up all the slots right and I have a bridge in Brooklyn for sale

[00:12:50] We all know what Jane's issue is and we know John has zero backbone for going along with it

[00:12:55] But don't be surprised if an invite suddenly appears. Oh look someone dropped out and we really do want you to come

[00:13:02] You're only on our d-list

[00:13:04] Don't forget the gift and you can still watch the house now, right?

[00:13:09] Commander says not the arse-all not even a little bit and then to ask for help like it's no big deal

[00:13:15] Shake my head. What did your friend group have to say about it?

[00:13:18] Opie says

[00:13:19] Definitely some surprise

[00:13:21] Any reason I found out was because of one of them who lives a bit further away

[00:13:25] Reached out initially trying to coordinate some plans and get together around the weekend of the wedding

[00:13:30] Assuming I've been invited since me and John were close

[00:13:33] I've let him follow up with the others as I didn't want to interject so close to the wedding and make it about me

[00:13:39] So then op comes in with our update and says yes day afternoon

[00:13:43] A few days after John made the initiating contact that led to this altercation

[00:13:49] He reached out by text telling me the following

[00:13:51] I want to take you up on that drink tomorrow if possible and I want to apologize for my royal f-ups in person

[00:13:57] I agreed to meet

[00:13:59] After we kicked off with a round of shots

[00:14:01] John's first line was that he failed me as a friend in this situation

[00:14:06] With non-family invites Jane apparently seemed very preoccupied with a philosophy of

[00:14:10] Couples over singles at the wedding and he had previously voiced that he felt it was exclusionary and silly

[00:14:17] But I guess Jane prioritized couples on the first round of friend invites and told John that it will be easier to fit in others after receiving

[00:14:25] RSVPs

[00:14:26] John backed out and saying that he felt that going along with her initial plan of inviting the rest of our circle

[00:14:32] Who are god bless them coupled up and not me and had faith that the RSVP thing would materialize

[00:14:39] She ended up using the bitter space to plug in some more family

[00:14:43] John admitted he basically folded and felt ashamed enough that he could not find a way to tell me

[00:14:48] He knew reaching out to me about that favor was a risk

[00:14:50] But took it anyways because he wanted someone he could trust

[00:14:53] My response was a materialization of everything he feared would happen and in his words deservedly so

[00:15:01] He told me a wedding should be a gathering of your family and company who have been a part of your lives

[00:15:06] And who you want to be a part of your lives and I fit that bill to him by any measure

[00:15:11] He trying to accurately paraphrase said I've done more than most people on the guest list for him and his family over their relationship

[00:15:19] Including help make memories with trip coverages and helping build their back deck with him to share meals and host events over the last six years

[00:15:27] He got visibly upset when he said

[00:15:29] With the shot and the drinks we were sipping on kicking in and he can't believe Jane even considered holding my single slash

[00:15:36] dating status against me

[00:15:38] After I got a home safely during a snowstorm earlier this year and that he did not more adamantly confront that bullshit reasoning

[00:15:46] At instant she voiced it

[00:15:47] Is even more pissed for Jane reaching out to me and the man as she did after my original phone call with him

[00:15:53] John acknowledged it would come off as hollow at this point

[00:15:57] But after a few exchanges with Jane said there'd be no more nonsense

[00:16:01] And I would at least get a proper invite and plus one if I wanted and they would make it work

[00:16:06] If it was even desired by me at this point

[00:16:09] He said he's not going to try and do panic damage control, but we'll be upfront with our circle

[00:16:14] One has already dropped the wedding and I guess another couple has said something else by his reporting

[00:16:19] Like he was with me for his faults because he and Jane deserve the blowback and he needs to earn trust back

[00:16:25] if it's at all possible

[00:16:27] He's also made it Jane's problem to find a friend who can come out nine days in a row to care for the

[00:16:33] Home and pets

[00:16:34] With a smirk he said he's having a hard time securing it and may likely have to hire help

[00:16:39] I told John

[00:16:40] I really appreciated his owning up to this and it was good to see the friend I had shined through here

[00:16:46] I told him that I've always appreciated him and Jane's friendship

[00:16:49] So it hurt when I was excluded and not even addressed

[00:16:52] I felt that close enough anyways

[00:16:54] And I obviously don't mean to complicate his wedding

[00:16:57] I've always thought him and Jane were great for each other earnestly

[00:17:01] I've supported them as best as I can and I've been confused about what I have done or haven't done to be iced out

[00:17:07] I also admitted it's hard to trust Jane again

[00:17:09] She has been weighing the validity of my presence based on my relationship status

[00:17:14] And added with some humor. It's not like I haven't been trying and you guys have met some of my previous long-term partners

[00:17:21] He said he doesn't get it either

[00:17:22] And she has at least one good friend who is single that she may have burned a bridge with as well over the wedding

[00:17:28] Philosophy she had I said the friendship is going to be changed and informed by this at least very different for a while

[00:17:34] And I know that you and Jane had a disagreement leading to this

[00:17:38] But I hope that the wedding goes on to be a good celebration

[00:17:40] I informed him it feels best to take a pass on the invitation

[00:17:44] He said there's a way of change of mind up to last minute to let him know

[00:17:48] Which was kind and he wasn't desperate or pushy about it

[00:17:52] John said the fault is his for not stepping up on my behalf at least sorry and while he feels I wouldn't have expected otherwise

[00:17:59] And I agree

[00:18:00] He's very lucky to have her in his life and thinks their marriage is positive development for them

[00:18:04] He even told her this situation by having questioning and second guessing her judgment on social matters with his friends for the foreseeable future

[00:18:13] By his reporting the credit to their relationship

[00:18:15] This is quite a blow to her to hear from him

[00:18:18] But one she accepted and apologized for after their arguments about the subject

[00:18:23] Before we parted ways in the parking lots

[00:18:26] We gave each other a bro hug and John's voice broke a bit when he said he is sorry one last time

[00:18:31] I think mine did too when I forgave him

[00:18:33] It was legitimately surprising and therapeutic to have John be so frank and accountable

[00:18:38] But not unlike the friend I've known for most of my adult life

[00:18:41] It was bittersweet being all things considered a makeup but also a breakup of sorts that was previously unquestioned and assumed strong trust and camaraderie

[00:18:51] Maybe we can get there again. It seems possible and it'd be nice

[00:18:56] I'm sitting here after a week of big feelings stewing on a different shade of big boy feelings now

[00:19:01] Thanks for processing with me reddit

[00:19:04] A lot of people had good things on the range of the spectrum to share with me

[00:19:07] And I've done my best to respond to people without getting too consumed and doing other things that need to be done

[00:19:13] I was happy for John to talk with me

[00:19:15] Maybe commenters are right and they see me as something else and I thought we were his friends

[00:19:20] And maybe I've got some work to do to assert myself and that I have been a doormat up until this point

[00:19:26] I know I've got some soul searching to do about me as a person and how I see myself with John and Jane

[00:19:31] And maybe my other friendships as well

[00:19:33] This relationship felt a lot closer and authentic in a different time

[00:19:37] But it's hard to paint a fuller picture of that after a situation like this

[00:19:42] things change

[00:19:43] As tempting as it is to accept the invitation and be there for John

[00:19:47] I think I trust my instinct to let this be and if John meant what he said and if Jane comes around

[00:19:53] Then make the effort to follow up

[00:19:55] I'll be putting some distance for a while and time will tell

[00:19:58] I'm glad we got a chance to talk because if it is the end

[00:20:01] I feel good about giving them a chance to own it and as I've gotten older

[00:20:05] I appreciate the hard work of taking on uncomfortable stuff

[00:20:09] I made some plans for that weekend with a couple of other friends, which I'm looking forward to

[00:20:13] If I'm repeated updates on an initial post a bit messy and tacky

[00:20:17] So if anyone wants my thoughts on particulars, just click my profile and look at my comments and responses

[00:20:23] Thank for words and insights reddit

[00:20:28] Gee whiz and what a mature way to deal with things

[00:20:32] I really did enjoy the way op explain their feelings on this

[00:20:36] And doubt with a situation

[00:20:39] I'm glad that John did take accountability for his actions

[00:20:42] You know, it may be because they're just being called out by other friends and people are dropping out because of

[00:20:47] Jane's behavior. Wow and John's behavior too, of course

[00:20:51] But in some ways it did feel like John's apology was genuine whether it's ever going to fix that relationship again

[00:20:59] Who knows in some ways it doesn't feel like it will because I don't think Jane is going to change much

[00:21:05] Again, I don't know the four wins and outs. It's just the way it feels to me at this particular moment in time

[00:21:11] But what an absolute legend of a friend

[00:21:15] Opie is right and just sounds like someone who'd make a great friend to anybody

[00:21:20] But now I'm going to turn this one to you guys. What do you guys make of that ending?

[00:21:25] What do you make of their relationship? Do you think it will ever build back up to the way it was or

[00:21:29] You think that's it?

[00:21:32] Let us know your thoughts down in the comments below

[00:21:35] They're just a huge thank you from the bottom of my heart for getting involved in today's stories

[00:21:38] You'll love your support. Your time always means the absolute world to me. So thank you so so much and hopefully

[00:21:43] I'll see you in the next one. Take care

[00:21:46] And much love