0:00 Intro
0:20 Story 1
2:54 Story 1 Comments / OP's Replies
7:55 Story 1 Update
11:37 Story 1 Comments / OP's Replies
15:28 Story 2
18:53 Story 2 Update
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[00:00:03] Hey Waffle Gang, I do hope you're well. My name is Mark and today we're checking out some more Reddit Stories. And if you do love a Reddit Story, why not consider it a like, subscribe, maybe that notification bell too. And let's crack on with today's first story. Much love guys.
[00:00:19] Now, today's first story comes from MarbleLotus in the Relationship Advice subreddit and says, My husband, 28 male and eyes, 29 female marriage is being ruined by his sleep apnea. When is an ultimatum okay? My husband and I have been married for three years, been living together for five. He's always snored and it has gotten worse. He would wake me up five to ten times a night. In 2020, he did a sleep study and was diagnosed with
[00:00:49] severe sleep apnea and prescribed a CPAP. He wore the CPAP for less than a week because it was uncomfortable. Throughout the years, I've spent hundreds of dollars on over-the-counter sleep meds and earplugs to try and sleep. I've tried calmly to speak to my husband over the years about this but it has been met with. You're just a light sleeper. I'm not talking about this slash why are we talking about this? Married people should sleep in the same bed. I haven't always handled this the best.
[00:01:18] I've gotten very frustrated and yelled at him in the middle of the night. I'm working on putting my thoughts out calmly. Summer of 2022. I was pregnant and my therapist recommended strongly I sleep elsewhere. I was nervous but I moved to our guest room across the hall. A few months ago, I moved to the basement because his snoring was still waking me up. This has provided better sleep but a horrible effect to my mental health.
[00:01:44] I've frequently encouraged him to go back to the doctor about his sleep apnea. Possibly try another CPAP or explore other options. I'm also concerned on the effects of untreated sleep apnea on his physical and mental health.
[00:01:58] I tell him I want to sleep in the same bed as much as he does. I know many couples find success in separate bedrooms but he's made it clear that he is not interested in that.
[00:02:09] Recently, he mentioned, I bet even if I fixed my snoring, you wouldn't sleep in the same bed as me. I was stunned. Me toughing it out for over three years shows the opposite in my opinion.
[00:02:20] He finally offered to switch and let me sleep in our bed. And three days later, he's complaining on how he can't do it.
[00:02:27] He keeps stringing me along about going to the doctor. I don't think he actually plans to go.
[00:02:33] His complete disregard for my sleep over the years is incredibly hurtful. His refusal to fix an easily fixable problem is mind-boggling.
[00:02:41] My question, should I give him an ultimatum to fix his sleep apnea or I am out?
[00:02:46] I'm considering divorce. Are ultimatums ever healthy? I need advice on how to deal with this.
[00:02:54] I was reading about sleep apnea just recently when I stumbled across something randomly and then got sidetracked as I do.
[00:03:01] It's a serious medical condition which can have long-term health consequences if you just leave it untreated.
[00:03:08] So there's that by itself. And I think it's certainly problematic that, you know, you've been willing to compromise all the way through this and you just seem to be met with dismissal or him deflecting basically.
[00:03:22] And I think the majority of time when we see ultimatums in these stories, they're never a good thing.
[00:03:27] But with everything adding up in this story, you're left with little choice.
[00:03:33] And I think if you go down this path of ultimatums is that you express it in a way that you do love this guy.
[00:03:39] But you need to see a health professional again and take this seriously because, you know, like I said, it's a serious medical condition.
[00:03:45] But if he continues to refuse time and time again, it leaves you with little choice in the end really.
[00:03:52] And he's making these choices towards that and pushing you into a corner.
[00:03:56] But usually Wright says sleep apnea isn't just inconvenient and noisy.
[00:04:01] It can cause serious health issues.
[00:04:03] His brain is literally being starved of oxygen.
[00:04:06] It can make him more prone to heart disease and stroke as well.
[00:04:09] Does he not get that?
[00:04:11] Your sleep is important too.
[00:04:12] Sleep deprivation is considered a form of torture.
[00:04:16] I get that learning to use a CPAP can take time and sometimes you have to try a few different masks before you find one that's a good fit.
[00:04:23] But trying for a week isn't much of a try in my honest opinion.
[00:04:27] I'm not a fan of ultimatums, but he needs to know you are serious.
[00:04:31] Babe, I love you and want our marriage to work.
[00:04:35] When you refuse to treat your sleep apnea, I feel sad and angry.
[00:04:39] I'm sad for you because I know what negative health impacts are lying in wait.
[00:04:43] I'm angry for me because I feel like you don't care enough about me to do what needs to be done so I can actually get sleep myself.
[00:04:50] Sleep deprivation has negative health impacts too.
[00:04:54] So moving forward, I need you to see your doc.
[00:04:57] Try more masks till one works for you.
[00:05:00] Make a real effort to resolve this or I have to re-evaluate the long-term situation.
[00:05:05] It's not just annoying, it's a serious health issue for both of us.
[00:05:10] He can throw a tantrum, so be it.
[00:05:12] Send him to the less comfortable room in the basement or whatever.
[00:05:16] This is his issue to fix and it is fixable with practically no effort on his part.
[00:05:21] He's just being selfish, stupid and lazy.
[00:05:24] When my ex-husband developed sleep apnea, he told his doc he was there for a sleep study instead of a divorce or a new couch.
[00:05:32] He wasn't so much kidding.
[00:05:33] I would not have put up with that for long.
[00:05:36] Opie says thank you so much for this dialogue.
[00:05:38] I need it.
[00:05:39] I'm not a fan of ultimatums either.
[00:05:41] I'm concerned and frustrated for our marriage.
[00:05:44] I'm also trying to do everything in a healthy, calm manner.
[00:05:48] Ad Chemical says so I know I'm an outlier but I was the one that told my husband he stopped breathing in his sleep and he needed a sleep study.
[00:05:56] He totally agreed with me.
[00:05:59] Six months later, I reminded him about it and explained that I was terrified that one night he'd just die in his sleep and I'd wake up next to a corpse.
[00:06:07] He made an appointment for the following week.
[00:06:10] It's taken a bit for him to come around to traveling with it but generally he sleeps better.
[00:06:15] He feels more rested and he dreams when he wears his mask.
[00:06:19] I think a solid boundary of no I won't share a bed with you unless you're using your sleep mask is reasonable.
[00:06:25] Or you can wake him up every time he wakes you up.
[00:06:29] Don't get angry, just shake his shoulder until he's as fully awake as you are.
[00:06:33] If that's a reasonable standard for your sleep quality, it's a reasonable standard for his.
[00:06:38] Have the conversation after buying a variety pack of mask types for him to try.
[00:06:42] There's also a mouth guard that's incredible but needs to be refitted every time you have dental work done.
[00:06:49] Hopey says thank you for your insight.
[00:06:50] He's aware of the risks but I think he's in denial at the same time.
[00:06:54] I'm planning on sitting him down and talking to him again.
[00:06:59] Awesome One Forever says,
[00:07:00] I would think that mini deaths every night would be enough to get him to take it seriously.
[00:07:05] Todd Rowland says,
[00:07:07] There is a new device called Inspire.
[00:07:09] You should have him check into it.
[00:07:11] If he loves you and wants to be with you, he should consider it.
[00:07:14] Also for his own health.
[00:07:16] Hopey says that is what he's talked about.
[00:07:19] But I believe he is very nervous to have surgery, which is understandable.
[00:07:23] I think he just puts his head in the sand and pretends nothing is wrong.
[00:07:27] Todd Rowland replies and says,
[00:07:29] Yes, I had a mild case of sleep apnea but the surgery isn't all that invasive and can be done in an afternoon.
[00:07:35] You should consult a physician about it and get more information.
[00:07:38] It would put him a lot more at ease about it.
[00:07:41] Or you could do all kinds of research and then present him with the facts.
[00:07:45] Hopey says,
[00:07:46] I've been trying to get him to schedule a doctor's appointment for years.
[00:07:49] I think him scheduling one would even do wonders for our marriage.
[00:07:53] It would show progress.
[00:07:54] So eight months later,
[00:07:57] OP comes in and edits the post and says,
[00:08:00] Edit.
[00:08:00] Everyone's saying that he needs a CPAP.
[00:08:02] I agree.
[00:08:03] This is what I told him for five years.
[00:08:07] Everyone that's saying he should try this.
[00:08:09] I guarantee you I've presented that as a solution for him.
[00:08:13] Inspire implants, BiPAP, mouth guard surgery, etc.
[00:08:18] Insist that he will only try the CPAP.
[00:08:20] I've suggested different masks and he's reluctant but he's tried two different ones.
[00:08:25] I do appreciate all your support and suggestions though.
[00:08:28] I guess I made this post just venting.
[00:08:31] I don't really know why I made it.
[00:08:32] I sat down with him and I gave an ultimatum.
[00:08:35] I told him that he needs to treat his sleep apnea or I will divorce him.
[00:08:40] He didn't say much.
[00:08:41] We'll see what he does with it.
[00:08:43] End.
[00:08:44] Edit.
[00:08:45] Update is, there is no update.
[00:08:47] I'm considering filing for divorce by the end of the year if he doesn't get it resolved.
[00:08:52] For the past five years, my husband's sleep apnea has been a significant challenge in our marriage.
[00:08:58] Initially, I slept next to him but his snoring made it difficult for me to get restful sleep.
[00:09:03] Despite trying different solutions like earplugs, my sleep continued to suffer.
[00:09:08] When I became pregnant, I reached a point where I couldn't handle the lack of sleep anymore.
[00:09:12] On my therapist's recommendation, I decided to move to the spare room across the hall and
[00:09:18] we've been sleeping separately for the last two years.
[00:09:21] A year ago, his snoring became so loud that it started waking me up from across the hall,
[00:09:26] forcing me to move to the basement to get some rest.
[00:09:30] Unfortunately, sleeping in the basement took a toll on my mental health.
[00:09:34] After several conversations with him about my concerns,
[00:09:37] I expressed that I didn't want to sleep in the basement anymore
[00:09:40] and asked him to see a doctor for his sleep apnea.
[00:09:43] Instead, he started sleeping in the basement himself,
[00:09:46] which felt like a temporary fix rather than a long-term solution.
[00:09:50] The issue persists, especially when we travel,
[00:09:53] as our daughter and I end up sharing a room with him
[00:09:56] and his snoring makes it difficult for us to sleep.
[00:09:59] I'm increasingly concerned about how this might affect our daughter's sleep as well.
[00:10:03] I recently sat down with him to express my concerns about his health
[00:10:07] and the impact this situation is having on our marriage.
[00:10:10] I shared that I was worried about the potential long-term consequences
[00:10:13] both for him and for our relationship because I've read studies
[00:10:17] that state that people die in their early 30s with untreated severe sleep apnea.
[00:10:22] In response, he made a comment that deeply upset me.
[00:10:25] He laughed and said,
[00:10:26] At least I have 10 more years.
[00:10:28] So I've tried to stay calm throughout this.
[00:10:30] I couldn't hold back my frustration in that moment.
[00:10:34] After I lost it, he did go to the doctor and got a new CPAP machine.
[00:10:38] Wearing it consistently has been a challenge for him.
[00:10:41] There have been various excuses about its discomfort
[00:10:44] and despite his insistent that the CPAP is the only option,
[00:10:47] he hasn't been able to wear it through the night.
[00:10:50] We tried sleeping in the same bed again,
[00:10:52] but I found myself waking up multiple times to remind him to put the CPAP back on.
[00:10:57] After two weeks of disrupted sleep,
[00:10:59] I realized that it was taking the CPAP off as soon as I fell asleep
[00:11:03] and I had to return to the basement.
[00:11:06] Lately, I've noticed through reports on the CPAP machine
[00:11:09] that he hasn't been wearing the CPAP at all,
[00:11:11] which has left me feeling incredibly frustrated and helpless.
[00:11:15] I feel like it's created a huge wedge in our relationship
[00:11:18] and making me feel unattracted to him.
[00:11:20] This has been an ongoing issue for five years
[00:11:23] and I'm struggling to see how I can continue living like this for another five.
[00:11:28] I'm trying to stay calm and find the right words to express my feelings,
[00:11:31] but if we can't resolve this,
[00:11:33] I may need to consider other options for my own well-being.
[00:11:37] And there were some further comments with replies from the OP,
[00:11:40] so Potent Technicality says he needs to practice with a mask.
[00:11:44] On a day off when he wakes up, leave the mask on while he reads in bed.
[00:11:47] When he gets time to relax and unwind after work, play a game while he's wearing it.
[00:11:52] Meditate wearing the damn thing.
[00:11:54] Focus on breathing.
[00:11:56] This will save his life and sanity.
[00:11:58] Apnea almost destroyed me.
[00:12:00] I was having 98 interruptions per hour.
[00:12:03] Basically, I was surviving on micro naps and was barely functional during my day.
[00:12:09] I'm now wearing it every night and I'm a normal functioning person.
[00:12:13] OP says,
[00:12:15] I think this is a good idea.
[00:12:16] Yeah, he has the same interruptions as you.
[00:12:19] He's grumpy and just comes home and wants to do nothing.
[00:12:22] I just wish he would give it a shot and that could open up a whole new world for him.
[00:12:27] Ruby June Rocket says he is actively and repeatedly choosing not to address the issues,
[00:12:32] going so far as to lie to you.
[00:12:34] He sounds like he doesn't think you will actually leave so he isn't going to actually bother changing.
[00:12:39] The fact that he would joke about only being around for 10 more years.
[00:12:43] Don't you want to be with someone who looks forward to the future with you?
[00:12:47] This guy isn't even imagining one.
[00:12:49] He's certainly not working towards it.
[00:12:52] Jahar says,
[00:12:53] It's lovely that all these people have suggestions and are trying to help.
[00:12:56] It's very telling that it's you who's the one posting about this and not him.
[00:13:01] Doesn't sound like he's doing any research or googling to try and help you or himself.
[00:13:06] That'd be really hard for me to get over.
[00:13:09] Potent Technicality says,
[00:13:10] He may not even understand how deeply this is impacting him.
[00:13:13] I didn't.
[00:13:15] This illusionist says,
[00:13:16] The issue isn't even the apnea anymore.
[00:13:19] It's his refusal to take it serious.
[00:13:22] Address how it's affecting his health and your marriage.
[00:13:25] All you can do is hold firm on your boundary and if he chooses to force this,
[00:13:29] that's on him.
[00:13:30] And maybe a split is the reasonable and healthiest option for you.
[00:13:35] Opie says,
[00:13:36] Thank you.
[00:13:36] I appreciate it.
[00:13:37] And I've realized that too.
[00:13:39] Westside Wicked Witch says,
[00:13:41] Opie,
[00:13:41] I divorced my ex-husband for a similar issue.
[00:13:44] He had spinal issues due to being obese.
[00:13:47] He lost some weight and had spinal surgery.
[00:13:49] I took care of him,
[00:13:50] even wiping his ass.
[00:13:52] During recovery,
[00:13:53] which totaled almost a year,
[00:13:55] he started eating junk and becoming obese again.
[00:13:58] He had sleep apnea due to his weight.
[00:14:00] Just so many health issues.
[00:14:02] I would cry to him about how terrified I was
[00:14:04] that I'd wake up to him dead beside me
[00:14:06] because he stopped breathing.
[00:14:08] It was a choice.
[00:14:09] A choice that was going to lead me to being a caregiver
[00:14:12] of a fully grown adult with a solvable health problem.
[00:14:16] He developed another spinal issue due to being 400 pounds.
[00:14:20] I left.
[00:14:21] I've never regretted it.
[00:14:23] And randomreddit9791 says,
[00:14:26] My friend and her husband died from sleep apnea.
[00:14:29] They were both in their mid-twenties and overweight.
[00:14:32] They died in their sleep less than a year apart.
[00:14:35] Opie says,
[00:14:36] This is what scares me the most.
[00:14:38] And he joked about it.
[00:14:40] And I was just shocked
[00:14:41] with the amount of people that was replying to this
[00:14:43] that had family members,
[00:14:46] siblings,
[00:14:47] partners,
[00:14:47] that had sleep apnea at the same time.
[00:14:50] That was mind-blowing.
[00:14:51] And I have to admit,
[00:14:53] this story has certainly made me think about my sleep
[00:14:55] and the way I wake up during the night
[00:14:58] and wondering about myself at the same time.
[00:15:01] But I do wonder what the future of this relationship looks like.
[00:15:05] I mean,
[00:15:05] it doesn't sound like he's considering doing much anytime soon.
[00:15:08] It sounds like Opie's doing all the work
[00:15:10] to try and find a solution to this
[00:15:12] and he's doing nothing.
[00:15:13] So it is really leaving very little choice in this.
[00:15:17] But what do you guys make of this situation?
[00:15:21] Let us know your thoughts down in the comments below.
[00:15:24] And let's move on to another story.
[00:15:28] And our next story comes from
[00:15:30] the Petty Revenge subreddit
[00:15:32] from PettyPrincess3671
[00:15:34] and says,
[00:15:35] Want to use me as a bad example?
[00:15:38] Enjoy your glitter bomb.
[00:15:40] So my mother, 52 female,
[00:15:42] is married to a complete twat waffle
[00:15:46] of a man
[00:15:48] who she has been with for six years.
[00:15:50] I can't stand him.
[00:15:52] He has an ego that can only be rivaled by alpha idiots.
[00:15:56] Lol.
[00:15:56] He's disrespected me in my own home
[00:15:58] telling me that I need to start dressing like an adult.
[00:16:01] I like to dress in what would be considered
[00:16:03] goth slash emo attire.
[00:16:05] When my son was admitted to hospital
[00:16:07] after a seizure that nearly killed him,
[00:16:10] I jokingly said to my mother over a video call,
[00:16:12] I'm sorry I ruined your honeymoon.
[00:16:14] And his response was,
[00:16:16] well,
[00:16:17] anyone was going to,
[00:16:18] it would be you.
[00:16:19] This was not said in a joking manner.
[00:16:22] The audacity of this man.
[00:16:24] My flabbers were,
[00:16:29] I love this kind of writing.
[00:16:31] My flabbers were completely gasted
[00:16:33] that he would say something like that
[00:16:35] when my two-year-old son was on a ventilator.
[00:16:38] But anyway,
[00:16:39] I digress.
[00:16:40] I will say that over the six years my mother has been with this man,
[00:16:44] he's made no effort to get to know me or my three children.
[00:16:48] I've actually only spent time with him a handful of times.
[00:16:51] And during these times,
[00:16:52] he was incredibly condescending and rude.
[00:16:56] I helped my youngest sister move out of their house this week after some boundaries were crossed.
[00:17:00] Then my mother devolved into what can only be described as a temper tantrum of epic proportions,
[00:17:06] i.e. shouting at me over the phone because I was not entertaining her bull crap.
[00:17:10] My mother could have her own thread with her ridiculousness.
[00:17:14] My sister went back to my mother's house without me to pick up some more of her things.
[00:17:19] My mother was not there.
[00:17:21] This is important.
[00:17:23] Her husband decided this is a brilliant time to start berating my sister about how she is moving out.
[00:17:28] And says,
[00:17:29] This isn't something you do.
[00:17:30] This is something that X does.
[00:17:32] Meaning me.
[00:17:34] X-cuse me?
[00:17:35] Now,
[00:17:36] I was very mentally ill when I was younger.
[00:17:39] Between the ages of 11 to 15.
[00:17:41] I'm now 33.
[00:17:43] Going to university where I just passed my first year with a distinction
[00:17:46] and got on the Dean's list for excellence.
[00:17:49] But I've worked so hard on getting better
[00:17:51] and making sure my children have all the support I never got.
[00:17:56] I won't lie.
[00:17:57] I was pissed.
[00:17:57] This man knows nothing about me at all.
[00:18:00] Including how fucking petty I am.
[00:18:03] So I've sent him a glitter bomb
[00:18:04] full of as much glitter and shiny penis confetti as I could order.
[00:18:08] About 30 pounds worth.
[00:18:10] And I've sent it to him with a note attached saying,
[00:18:13] If you want to talk about what I do,
[00:18:15] this is what I do.
[00:18:16] I should also mention that my mum has repeatedly told me
[00:18:20] how much he hates glitter
[00:18:21] and how he thinks it's the work of the devil.
[00:18:24] So I really hope he enjoys cleaning all the sparkly penises.
[00:18:29] I really wish I could be there to see the look on his face
[00:18:32] when he realises that not only do I know what he's said,
[00:18:35] but that he now has to explain to my mother why I sent it.
[00:18:39] It might not be the best petty revenge,
[00:18:41] but it warms the petty place in my heart
[00:18:43] knowing that he will be finding glitter and penises for months.
[00:18:46] Every time he does,
[00:18:48] you'll remember not to use me as a bad example
[00:18:50] because I'll give you a reason to call me one.
[00:18:53] OP came in the same post with an update,
[00:18:56] so I'll read it straight away that says I'm back.
[00:18:59] So I have the most wonderful update for you all.
[00:19:02] First of all,
[00:19:03] I wanted to give you some context
[00:19:04] to a few bits I mentioned in my previous post.
[00:19:07] One,
[00:19:07] I did not send him an envelope full of glitter.
[00:19:10] I sent him a spring activated glitter bomb
[00:19:12] from an online prank store called Postal Pranks.
[00:19:15] I highly recommend them for your petty revenge plans.
[00:19:19] Two,
[00:19:19] my son is absolutely fine now.
[00:19:21] He's my little ginger whirlwind
[00:19:23] and has no further seizures.
[00:19:26] Now onto the update.
[00:19:27] Today was my previously mentioned sister's birthday.
[00:19:30] She went to see my mother and the twat waffle.
[00:19:33] While she was there,
[00:19:34] my mother's husband mentioned to her
[00:19:36] that someone had glitter bombed him.
[00:19:38] He then goes on to tell her how he opened it
[00:19:41] just as he was about to leave for a work trip
[00:19:43] and was completely covered in glitter and sparkly penises.
[00:19:47] He then proceeded to lose his shit.
[00:19:49] He was so covered in glitter
[00:19:51] he had to change as it was inside his clothing.
[00:19:54] This delayed home for about an hour.
[00:19:56] My mother proceeded to lose her shit
[00:19:58] as she had a guest over at the time
[00:20:00] who witnessed the entire spectacle take place.
[00:20:03] My sister,
[00:20:04] those drama classes truly paid off here,
[00:20:06] goes on to ask questions to see
[00:20:08] if he had any idea who sent it
[00:20:10] and that's where it gets mind-blowingly good.
[00:20:12] He has no idea it was me.
[00:20:15] Neither him or my mother
[00:20:16] has any idea who sent this
[00:20:18] or why he got it.
[00:20:19] He obviously has no idea
[00:20:20] that my sister told me
[00:20:22] what he said about me.
[00:20:23] So now I'm deciding
[00:20:24] how I want to let him know it was me
[00:20:26] or if I do.
[00:20:27] Maybe I'll just let him have a stroke
[00:20:29] every time he sees a package
[00:20:31] that he didn't order.
[00:20:34] I've got to be honest,
[00:20:35] my flabbers are completely ghast it as well
[00:20:37] that he must have so many enemies
[00:20:40] that he didn't know it was you.
[00:20:43] Twat waffle, indeed.
[00:20:46] And personally,
[00:20:47] I don't think I would tell him
[00:20:49] in this situation
[00:20:49] I would just leave that one
[00:20:51] for a rainy day.
[00:20:52] Keep that one in the bank
[00:20:53] if I was you.
[00:20:55] What do you guys make of this situation?
[00:20:59] I've got to admit,
[00:21:00] I do love watching
[00:21:01] those old glitter bomb videos
[00:21:02] on YouTube sometimes
[00:21:04] where, you know,
[00:21:05] you get the porch thieves
[00:21:06] and it's actually a glitter bomb
[00:21:08] with fart spray
[00:21:09] and they do make me chuckle.
[00:21:10] But what do you guys
[00:21:11] think about this?
[00:21:12] Let me know your thoughts
[00:21:13] down in the comments below.
[00:21:15] And just a huge thank you
[00:21:16] for being here today,
[00:21:17] getting involved in the stories,
[00:21:19] your love,
[00:21:19] your support,
[00:21:20] your time
[00:21:20] always means the absolute world to me.
[00:21:22] So thank you so, so much
[00:21:23] and hopefully
[00:21:23] I'll see you in the next one.
[00:21:26] Take care
[00:21:26] and much love.