My Husbands Affair Partner Just Turned Up At My Door With Their Baby r/Relationships

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[00:00:39] [SPEAKER_00]: Reddit Stories

[00:00:51] [SPEAKER_00]: Today's first story comes from monthfar2068 from the M.I.TheArsel here subreddit and says

[00:00:58] [SPEAKER_00]: My common law husband in Dubai and his side piece showed up at my door with their baby.

[00:01:03] [SPEAKER_00]: I'm I.TheArsel here for kicking her out even though she is basically homeless.

[00:01:09] [SPEAKER_00]: My husband and I, 40 female and 41 male have been together for 10 years.

[00:01:15] [SPEAKER_00]: I consider them years to be very loving and happy but apparently not for him since he

[00:01:20] [SPEAKER_00]: had a side piece obviously.

[00:01:21] [SPEAKER_00]: I make furniture and make around 1 million euros a year.

[00:01:26] [SPEAKER_00]: My husband is a teacher.

[00:01:28] [SPEAKER_00]: It goes without saying that I provide for us.

[00:01:30] [SPEAKER_00]: I don't ask what he does with his salary.

[00:01:33] [SPEAKER_00]: We live way below our means however because we are both minimalist but we have a big house,

[00:01:38] [SPEAKER_00]: nice cars and lots of art.

[00:01:40] [SPEAKER_00]: Everything is mine however.

[00:01:42] [SPEAKER_00]: Apparently he met his side piece female 25 under false pretenses and told her that

[00:01:48] [SPEAKER_00]: we were legally married so he owned half of my company and everything else I own.

[00:01:53] [SPEAKER_00]: When she got pregnant he started spending his salary on her.

[00:01:57] [SPEAKER_00]: I wasn't alarmed because I didn't know what he did with his money.

[00:02:01] [SPEAKER_00]: Now he is in Dubai on vacation and her lease on her apartment expired so she just showed

[00:02:07] [SPEAKER_00]: up at my door with her baby.

[00:02:08] [SPEAKER_00]: She told me she was his girlfriend and that he was getting a divorce so she might as

[00:02:13] [SPEAKER_00]: well live in his house and I could live in a hotel because I could afford it.

[00:02:17] [SPEAKER_00]: She didn't have any money or a home.

[00:02:20] [SPEAKER_00]: She literally refused to step out so I called the police and locked myself in the

[00:02:24] [SPEAKER_00]: greenhouse.

[00:02:25] [SPEAKER_00]: When the police came she was literally unpacking the child's clothes in the living area.

[00:02:30] [SPEAKER_00]: This squorted her out.

[00:02:32] [SPEAKER_00]: I was very shaken.

[00:02:34] [SPEAKER_00]: Later I found out all the details I included above.

[00:02:37] [SPEAKER_00]: My husband's mother thought I was an asshole for kicking out a little baby on the street.

[00:02:42] [SPEAKER_00]: That was her only grandson.

[00:02:44] [SPEAKER_00]: I used and abused my money and power to control everything around me.

[00:02:48] [SPEAKER_00]: But honestly, he just makes 60k a year so if as I found out later he gave her

[00:02:54] [SPEAKER_00]: salary I can't understand why she would be homeless in destitute.

[00:02:59] [SPEAKER_00]: She has big designer bags, designer stroller and these Ankleven apples?

[00:03:03] [SPEAKER_00]: Jewelry?

[00:03:04] [SPEAKER_00]: When she showed up to my home.

[00:03:06] [SPEAKER_00]: Now I'm the asshole.

[00:03:09] [SPEAKER_00]: Automatically it's one of those situations where as soon as mother started coming to

[00:03:13] [SPEAKER_00]: the picture I thought oh you know if mother's got a problem with this shit

[00:03:17] [SPEAKER_00]: she can take her in.

[00:03:19] [SPEAKER_00]: OP did respond to that however.

[00:03:20] [SPEAKER_00]: She said she couldn't because she lives in a studio apartment.

[00:03:26] [SPEAKER_00]: Another commenter said he can be homeless with her now not the asshole.

[00:03:30] [SPEAKER_00]: OP says absolutely he wants to take an early plane home to explain.

[00:03:34] [SPEAKER_00]: What is there to explain?

[00:03:36] [SPEAKER_00]: He said she tricked him into getting pregnant.

[00:03:38] [SPEAKER_00]: I know that he hates children but how do you trick people into having children?

[00:03:43] [SPEAKER_00]: So many questions and absolutely no desire for getting any answers.

[00:03:47] [SPEAKER_00]: I feel only emptiness.

[00:03:49] [SPEAKER_00]: A commenter says can't be tricked into pregnancy if you're not sticking your

[00:03:53] [SPEAKER_00]: thing where it doesn't belong.

[00:03:55] [SPEAKER_00]: Not the asshole.

[00:03:56] [SPEAKER_00]: OP says exactly how do you get tricked into pregnancy if you don't cheat?

[00:04:01] [SPEAKER_00]: A commenter says if he didn't want children he went for a vasectomy.

[00:04:05] [SPEAKER_00]: If you're interested in the explanation then sure get it but it won't change anything.

[00:04:09] [SPEAKER_00]: You don't really owe him anything as if your relationship was based on mutual

[00:04:13] [SPEAKER_00]: respect and monogamy then he's broken it.

[00:04:15] [SPEAKER_00]: OP says he didn't want to lose his manhood.

[00:04:19] [SPEAKER_00]: A commenter says he hates children and is a teacher or does he teach older humans?

[00:04:27] [SPEAKER_00]: Obviously you're not the asshole but as a former teacher who left the classroom

[00:04:30] [SPEAKER_00]: because I started disliking the kids it wasn't fair to them and my patience was

[00:04:34] [SPEAKER_00]: about 97% gone.

[00:04:36] [SPEAKER_00]: I'm curious.

[00:04:37] [SPEAKER_00]: OP says yeah he teaches high school children.

[00:04:41] [SPEAKER_00]: He always was set on being child-free.

[00:04:43] [SPEAKER_00]: A commenter says how long has his mother known she has a grandchild?

[00:04:48] [SPEAKER_00]: OP says wow I never thought about this.

[00:04:50] [SPEAKER_00]: I assume she only knew after I called her or probably she did already.

[00:04:55] [SPEAKER_00]: A commenter says I hate that you think you could be an asshole for this.

[00:04:58] [SPEAKER_00]: OP says well I really hated the idea of a baby being homeless and I truly

[00:05:03] [SPEAKER_00]: contemplated letting her be in the guest house but honestly I was terrified of her.

[00:05:08] [SPEAKER_00]: A commenter says minimalist that word does not mean what you think it means.

[00:05:12] [SPEAKER_00]: You are not minimalist.

[00:05:14] [SPEAKER_00]: OP says oh sorry maybe it was the wrong word I just meant I don't go shopping sprees or have

[00:05:20] [SPEAKER_00]: multiple walking closets or travel once a week.

[00:05:23] [SPEAKER_00]: A commenter says I'm confused if your common law spouses you will have marital assets and

[00:05:30] [SPEAKER_00]: need a divorce.

[00:05:31] [SPEAKER_00]: It is the house your personal property or marital property but you still don't have to let the

[00:05:36] [SPEAKER_00]: other woman in your home and if it's so important to mother-in-law

[00:05:40] [SPEAKER_00]: she can let them live with her.

[00:05:43] [SPEAKER_00]: OP says we have no marital assets as it was clear from the start when we moved in together

[00:05:47] [SPEAKER_00]: that we have separate economy.

[00:05:49] [SPEAKER_00]: We are not from the states and my assets are well protected.

[00:05:53] [SPEAKER_00]: A commenter says to OP okay you may not be aware that in the US common law is a legal term

[00:05:58] [SPEAKER_00]: for a couple who never signed a marriage certificate but are legally married due to

[00:06:03] [SPEAKER_00]: living together for several years and presenting themselves as married.

[00:06:06] [SPEAKER_00]: OP says same definition here different rules.

[00:06:10] [SPEAKER_00]: The commenter says how long has your partner been in Dubai.

[00:06:13] [SPEAKER_00]: Depending on the length of his stay you may not even legally have residency in your home anymore

[00:06:18] [SPEAKER_00]: if legal I change the locks now.

[00:06:21] [SPEAKER_00]: OP says he's there for 10 days one week left it was the end of school kind of thing.

[00:06:26] [SPEAKER_00]: I'm going to gather all his things and send them to his mother.

[00:06:30] [SPEAKER_00]: What is left are my things he has no right to that and the things we bought living

[00:06:34] [SPEAKER_00]: together 50-50 no matter who paid.

[00:06:38] [SPEAKER_00]: All gifts no matter how expensive belong to the receiver like his car and PC watches etc.

[00:06:44] [SPEAKER_00]: I don't mind my art etc are protected by signed agreements that protect our assets.

[00:06:49] [SPEAKER_00]: Any money or savings are protected by agreements.

[00:06:52] [SPEAKER_00]: Comments assess the God or ask how do you make one million making furniture also not the

[00:06:58] [SPEAKER_00]: asshole kick out the hubby too.

[00:07:00] [SPEAKER_00]: OP says long story short I started as an interior decorator slash designer and I

[00:07:06] [SPEAKER_00]: started designing what the market lacked in my opinion.

[00:07:09] [SPEAKER_00]: Now it's gotten bigger more details than you could find me so.

[00:07:13] [SPEAKER_00]: A week later OP comes in with an update and says many are asking for an update but

[00:07:16] [SPEAKER_00]: what's really there to update.

[00:07:19] [SPEAKER_00]: Here is what happened this past week and what is going to happen.

[00:07:22] [SPEAKER_00]: I will never see him again.

[00:07:24] [SPEAKER_00]: This is over he's back from his trip.

[00:07:26] [SPEAKER_00]: Probably he wasn't expected to start his summer vacation this way.

[00:07:30] [SPEAKER_00]: My lawyer has already contacted him about what he's owed.

[00:07:33] [SPEAKER_00]: He will be transported to his mother's apartment.

[00:07:36] [SPEAKER_00]: Whatever more he thinks he is owed he can sue me and I'll be ready

[00:07:39] [SPEAKER_00]: and I hope he can afford my lawyers when he loses whatever lawsuit he plans to file.

[00:07:44] [SPEAKER_00]: Apparently the apartment his girlfriend lost was his.

[00:07:47] [SPEAKER_00]: He was sending her money for the rent but she spent it on Prada instead.

[00:07:51] [SPEAKER_00]: He swears that the baby isn't his and that he is going to demand a paternity test

[00:07:55] [SPEAKER_00]: like it would make any difference.

[00:07:57] [SPEAKER_00]: Maybe for the baby yet.

[00:07:59] [SPEAKER_00]: I hope to God that the child isn't his however.

[00:08:03] [SPEAKER_00]: So maybe there is a small chance for that baby to have a better future

[00:08:06] [SPEAKER_00]: than more loving parents.

[00:08:08] [SPEAKER_00]: I am moving in with my parents.

[00:08:10] [SPEAKER_00]: Right now I'm in a hotel but I have no desire to be in that house again

[00:08:13] [SPEAKER_00]: with all the memories from selling it.

[00:08:16] [SPEAKER_00]: And while I find a new home and sell this one I will just live with my family.

[00:08:20] [SPEAKER_00]: The girlfriend has contacted me a few times via social media because she needs to talk.

[00:08:25] [SPEAKER_00]: She wants proof that we aren't married because he told her that we are married.

[00:08:29] [SPEAKER_00]: I don't do the illusion so I just blocked her.

[00:08:32] [SPEAKER_00]: Oh I like that.

[00:08:34] [SPEAKER_00]: She has tried to contact me via her friends and mine

[00:08:36] [SPEAKER_00]: so now everyone knows the truth without me needing to make an announcement.

[00:08:41] [SPEAKER_00]: Thank you girlfriend.

[00:08:43] [SPEAKER_00]: Not sure what to update.

[00:08:45] [SPEAKER_00]: If I have missed anything I will leave it in the comments.

[00:08:48] [SPEAKER_00]: One last thing.

[00:08:49] [SPEAKER_00]: I'm sorry for maybe using the wrong terms.

[00:08:51] [SPEAKER_00]: I'm not an English speaker and Google found me common law marriage

[00:08:54] [SPEAKER_00]: as the term used in my situation.

[00:08:56] [SPEAKER_00]: So apparently it has certain laws in English speaking countries.

[00:09:01] [SPEAKER_00]: Our relationship is long term and we live together.

[00:09:03] [SPEAKER_00]: We have separate economy.

[00:09:04] [SPEAKER_00]: We have no rights to each other's property or estate.

[00:09:07] [SPEAKER_00]: We don't even inherit each other without a will.

[00:09:10] [SPEAKER_00]: However anything we purchased during the time we were living together falls under

[00:09:14] [SPEAKER_00]: joint estate and is divided equally no matter who the purchaser is.

[00:09:18] [SPEAKER_00]: I have no problems dividing these assets in half.

[00:09:21] [SPEAKER_00]: I've bought a house on some of my expensive art during the time

[00:09:24] [SPEAKER_00]: we have been partners.

[00:09:25] [SPEAKER_00]: It would have been joint assets if we didn't have

[00:09:28] [SPEAKER_00]: cohabitation agreements in place around these expensive purchases.

[00:09:32] [SPEAKER_00]: He has no rights to them.

[00:09:34] [SPEAKER_00]: Unlike pre-nups etc they're not easy to contest because he is not legally married to me.

[00:09:39] [SPEAKER_00]: Under different circumstances I would have probably given him more than what he's going

[00:09:42] [SPEAKER_00]: to get now because I am like that in general.

[00:09:45] [SPEAKER_00]: If he had ended things, if he told me he wanted out and he didn't love me anymore

[00:09:49] [SPEAKER_00]: because I know that relationships end and people fall out of love.

[00:09:52] [SPEAKER_00]: He could have respected me enough to give me that at least but he didn't.

[00:09:56] [SPEAKER_00]: So I will literally be counting spoons and napkins and he will not get a dime over what he is owed.

[00:10:03] [SPEAKER_00]: A top commenter on this one said I'm glad that girlfriend made your job easier by telling everyone.

[00:10:07] [SPEAKER_00]: For a second I couldn't figure out why she wanted you to prove that you were married,

[00:10:11] [SPEAKER_00]: which lol.

[00:10:13] [SPEAKER_00]: But then I reread your original post and realised that it's because

[00:10:16] [SPEAKER_00]: she's expecting half of everything.

[00:10:19] [SPEAKER_00]: Has his mother said anything else to you?

[00:10:21] [SPEAKER_00]: How was it when soon to be ex returned?

[00:10:24] [SPEAKER_00]: Hope he says honestly I don't hold no hard feelings towards his mother.

[00:10:28] [SPEAKER_00]: I have a mother myself and I've seen a happiness where my brother became a father.

[00:10:32] [SPEAKER_00]: My ex partner is an only child and he was child free or at least pretended to be one.

[00:10:37] [SPEAKER_00]: So she had no hope of becoming a grandmother.

[00:10:39] [SPEAKER_00]: Imagine finding out that you are.

[00:10:41] [SPEAKER_00]: If there's any chance for that baby for some love and happiness, it will be with her.

[00:10:47] [SPEAKER_00]: She hasn't contacted me and I don't want her to.

[00:10:49] [SPEAKER_00]: She'd probably tell my ex partner I told you so about him not popping the question.

[00:10:54] [SPEAKER_00]: I would have never wanted a legal binding paper to anyone but when I was younger

[00:10:58] [SPEAKER_00]: and still didn't have my business, I would have probably said yes and gladly so because

[00:11:02] [SPEAKER_00]: I wanted so much for him to ask me.

[00:11:05] [SPEAKER_00]: I would have been singing to a different tune right now.

[00:11:07] [SPEAKER_00]: It is these thoughts that make it easier for me to cope now.

[00:11:11] [SPEAKER_00]: It could have been so much worse and sometimes you hate what's happening but

[00:11:14] [SPEAKER_00]: a few years later you realise it was for the better.

[00:11:17] [SPEAKER_00]: Comanter says, what has your family said about all of this?

[00:11:21] [SPEAKER_00]: I hope you have brothers to threaten this arse when he keeps trying to get a hold of you.

[00:11:25] [SPEAKER_00]: Opie says my family is as shocked as I am.

[00:11:27] [SPEAKER_00]: I think we all need some time for this to sink in and I start the grieving process.

[00:11:33] [SPEAKER_00]: The commenter says tell us about his pleading and groveling.

[00:11:36] [SPEAKER_00]: I want to hear about his suffering.

[00:11:38] [SPEAKER_00]: I'm second hand furious for you Opie.

[00:11:41] [SPEAKER_00]: You sound cool and level headed and that dummy blew it big time.

[00:11:44] [SPEAKER_00]: Opie says he's been pathetic and trickle truth like anyone like him does.

[00:11:49] [SPEAKER_00]: It was a one time thing and she tricked him into having a baby.

[00:11:53] [SPEAKER_00]: The baby is not here and he can prove it.

[00:11:55] [SPEAKER_00]: She's just a friend who he helped housing but she turned on him.

[00:11:59] [SPEAKER_00]: My last text from me personally was to grow up and act like a father.

[00:12:02] [SPEAKER_00]: Now I only talked to him through my lawyer.

[00:12:05] [SPEAKER_00]: And one last commenter said, I hope you get a full physical and STD panel run soon.

[00:12:10] [SPEAKER_00]: Who knows what he has exposed you to?

[00:12:11] [SPEAKER_00]: His baby mama is the only one you know about.

[00:12:14] [SPEAKER_00]: There could be others.

[00:12:16] [SPEAKER_00]: Opie says did my first test the day after I found out.

[00:12:19] [SPEAKER_00]: I'll be doing it again in a month too.

[00:12:21] [SPEAKER_00]: It was all good.

[00:12:23] [SPEAKER_00]: Damn Opie's taken no shit in this situation.

[00:12:27] [SPEAKER_00]: And it sounded like he had a pretty catered life and he went ahead and done this.

[00:12:33] [SPEAKER_00]: What a buffoon but now I'm going to turn this one to you guys.

[00:12:37] [SPEAKER_00]: What do you guys make of this situation?

[00:12:39] [SPEAKER_00]: Let us know your thoughts down in the comments below and let's move on to another story.

[00:13:19] [SPEAKER_00]: One next story comes from prize towel 3011 and says would I be the arsehole for doing a paternity

[00:13:26] [SPEAKER_00]: test behind my family's back?

[00:13:29] [SPEAKER_00]: Throw away a camp because I don't want anyone to see this on my main.

[00:13:33] [SPEAKER_00]: I 26 female have reason to suspect that my dad 48 male isn't my biological father.

[00:13:39] [SPEAKER_00]: I look nothing like my three siblings and during an argument with my mom a few years ago,

[00:13:44] [SPEAKER_00]: I ever heard him mention that he didn't believe I was his.

[00:13:48] [SPEAKER_00]: Later on during an argument between the two of us,

[00:13:51] [SPEAKER_00]: he also said he didn't even think I was his kid.

[00:13:54] [SPEAKER_00]: He immediately backpedaled and said he was just angry and didn't mean it but it haunts me.

[00:13:59] [SPEAKER_00]: It's been two years and it just lingers in the back of my mind.

[00:14:03] [SPEAKER_00]: I mentioned doing a paternity test but he said he wouldn't agree to it because I was his

[00:14:08] [SPEAKER_00]: and he didn't want to.

[00:14:10] [SPEAKER_00]: He refused to talk about it after that.

[00:14:12] [SPEAKER_00]: I mentioned taking a paternity test to my sister 24 female and she was adamant that it was a bad

[00:14:18] [SPEAKER_00]: idea. She said it would only start arguments and that our mother would never have cheated on him.

[00:14:24] [SPEAKER_00]: She is the spitting image of my dad as is our younger brother and the younger sibling who

[00:14:29] [SPEAKER_00]: have looks like a combination of my mom and dad.

[00:14:32] [SPEAKER_00]: I told her I wouldn't do it however I still plan to.

[00:14:35] [SPEAKER_00]: I was trying to figure out how I was going to get a sample from either a sibling or my

[00:14:40] [SPEAKER_00]: dad but my fiancee 26 male told me I'd be a huge asshole for saying I wouldn't and then doing it

[00:14:47] [SPEAKER_00]: anyways. I argued that none of them understood what it felt like and neither did he. It blew up

[00:14:53] [SPEAKER_00]: and he insists that all I'm doing is being dramatic and trying to hurt everyone.

[00:14:57] [SPEAKER_00]: We went to bed angry last night and now I'm worried that I'm going to cause

[00:15:01] [SPEAKER_00]: unnecessary drama especially if it comes back that he is my bio dad and they find out I did

[00:15:07] [SPEAKER_00]: the test. So would I be the asshole for not telling any of them? I know they're never going to agree to

[00:15:14] [SPEAKER_00]: it I feel like it's my only option. ETA, I realize I never mentioned how I plan to get a sample.

[00:15:21] [SPEAKER_00]: My youngest brother is very very close to me and I haven't asked but I believe if I do he'd be

[00:15:26] [SPEAKER_00]: willing to give me a sample to see if we are full siblings. I was discussing that with

[00:15:30] [SPEAKER_00]: my fiancee when he said I'd be a huge asshole for going behind everyone else's back.

[00:15:35] [SPEAKER_00]: I did not make that very clear in the post. Sorry about that.

[00:15:40] [SPEAKER_00]: Now for me this is a difficult situation but I think this is something that will continue

[00:15:45] [SPEAKER_00]: to eat at you if you don't get your answer and for me you know your dad is the one that

[00:15:52] [SPEAKER_00]: has planted this in your head. You've overheard in conversations and he said to you directly

[00:15:58] [SPEAKER_00]: that you are not his so he can't be surprised when you want to test after this really.

[00:16:03] [SPEAKER_00]: He's the one that's caused this, not you and now you're worried. And of course there is the

[00:16:08] [SPEAKER_00]: questions of ultimately what do you want out of this? Do you just want peace of mind? Are you

[00:16:12] [SPEAKER_00]: going to try and find your biofather? What is it that you're looking for? Opie answered someone

[00:16:17] [SPEAKER_00]: asking similar questions and said I didn't want to mention everything in the post that truly

[00:16:21] [SPEAKER_00]: leads me to believe he might not be. And I didn't want to say the biggest reason for

[00:16:25] [SPEAKER_00]: needing to know because it scares me the most. But I think this comment makes me think I may

[00:16:30] [SPEAKER_00]: have to say it. He told me who he thinks my real bio dad is before he decided to backpedal on it.

[00:16:36] [SPEAKER_00]: They were family friends of ours when I was younger and as an adult I had a brief relationship with

[00:16:40] [SPEAKER_00]: one of the sons. We dated for a while and the idea that I might have been physical with a half

[00:16:45] [SPEAKER_00]: sibling absolutely haunts me. He knew about the relationship and voiced his opinion when we

[00:16:50] [SPEAKER_00]: were together that he didn't like it. We fought about it back then but he never brought up

[00:16:55] [SPEAKER_00]: why. Our relationship with my parents hasn't been good for a while. We don't speak much anymore

[00:17:00] [SPEAKER_00]: but you're right about my siblings and fiancé. I don't want to ruin my relationship with them.

[00:17:06] [SPEAKER_00]: I don't want them to think differently of me. My siblings don't know about the identity

[00:17:10] [SPEAKER_00]: of the other guy being my bio dad but my fiancé does. He does nothing but help me get through

[00:17:15] [SPEAKER_00]: that awful initial phase of that. Nogura says it is complex not the arsehole for wanting

[00:17:21] [SPEAKER_00]: to know but you really really need to be prepared for potential fallout. Maybe your mom cheated,

[00:17:27] [SPEAKER_00]: maybe she was raped, maybe she and dad were swingers, maybe it was a threesome, maybe you

[00:17:32] [SPEAKER_00]: were switched at birth. What happens then? Will you want others to know? There are a lot

[00:17:37] [SPEAKER_00]: of factors that can go into something. Opie says I should say that he told me who he thinks

[00:17:43] [SPEAKER_00]: the bio dad is. My mom admitted to me once that she kissed the other guy but swore they

[00:17:48] [SPEAKER_00]: never slept together. It was ambiguous whether or not my parents were together at the time since

[00:17:53] [SPEAKER_00]: their relationship was on and off before they got married and they both refused to speak about it

[00:17:58] [SPEAKER_00]: any further after I mentioned a paternity test. Historical Goal says not the arsehole do the

[00:18:04] [SPEAKER_00]: test it will finally answer the question that is eating at you. What you do with the information

[00:18:08] [SPEAKER_00]: is up to you. Every human has an eight needs to know, needs to know where they came from,

[00:18:13] [SPEAKER_00]: where they belong. Your dad has been a jerk about using this against you in arguments,

[00:18:18] [SPEAKER_00]: you've done nothing wrong. The DNA information may help you in the future. What if your biosperm

[00:18:24] [SPEAKER_00]: donor has different racial characteristics and you give birth to a biracial child? Your fiance

[00:18:29] [SPEAKER_00]: could think you were cheating on him. What about medical information you need? You need answers.

[00:18:36] [SPEAKER_00]: The OP came in with her update and says updates did a 23 of me and got results.

[00:18:41] [SPEAKER_00]: So from my last post many people suggested doing a 23 and me. I found a lot of OD relatives on my

[00:18:48] [SPEAKER_00]: mom's side and unfortunately found out that my father is in fact not my bio dad. This is information

[00:18:54] [SPEAKER_00]: I've kept to myself and I do not wish to share it with anyone else in my family. I know many of

[00:18:59] [SPEAKER_00]: you wanted to know what my fiance was so against it and why he called me an arsehole for it.

[00:19:04] [SPEAKER_00]: He told me he was only concerned for my mental health. I was doing very poorly and he didn't

[00:19:09] [SPEAKER_00]: want me to risk my relationship with my siblings. In the end he told me he would support me but insisted

[00:19:14] [SPEAKER_00]: I at least start therapy first. I did and he's been incredibly supportive. We're married now by

[00:19:20] [SPEAKER_00]: the way. The man who's my bio dad will never be able to contact me. He was already blocked on

[00:19:25] [SPEAKER_00]: any social media I had but even if he tried I wouldn't respond as I do not trust him.

[00:19:30] [SPEAKER_00]: In the end this has given me a strange peace of mind. I didn't sit up at night and worry

[00:19:35] [SPEAKER_00]: over it. My therapist has helped me grapple with the terms of it as well as helped me through the

[00:19:39] [SPEAKER_00]: disgust I feel with myself over the relationship I had with who I now know as my half sibling.

[00:19:45] [SPEAKER_00]: I can't tell him as he passed away a couple years ago in a car accident.

[00:19:49] [SPEAKER_00]: My relationship with my parents was severed before I ever did the test.

[00:19:52] [SPEAKER_00]: I haven't spoken to either in over a year now and I'm happier than I ever have been.

[00:19:57] [SPEAKER_00]: My in-laws are great to me and a man I've known for years has stepped in

[00:20:01] [SPEAKER_00]: and walked me down the aisle. I'm surrounded by people I love and it's amazing. I really appreciate

[00:20:06] [SPEAKER_00]: everyone's support from my original post. Many of you helped me with good suggestions and no one

[00:20:12] [SPEAKER_00]: judged me over the relationship I had had but I can't thank you all enough. I wish you all a safe

[00:20:17] [SPEAKER_00]: and happy travels. Someone was asking OP was it just this topic that made you cut off your

[00:20:24] [SPEAKER_00]: parents or was there other stuff going on? OP says it was definitely one of the things

[00:20:28] [SPEAKER_00]: that pushed it. The last straw was him coming to my house to bring my brother when he had been drinking.

[00:20:33] [SPEAKER_00]: He completely ignored me in my own home and my mom stood there and cried and called me selfish

[00:20:37] [SPEAKER_00]: for being mad at him because it stresses her out. That was the moment that put me over the edge.

[00:20:43] [SPEAKER_00]: In reality it was 26 years of hell before I stopped talking to them.

[00:20:47] [SPEAKER_00]: I posted a few months after I went into no contact. Learning the truth wasn't easy.

[00:20:52] [SPEAKER_00]: I cried for two weeks pretty consistently and struggled with identity issues.

[00:20:55] [SPEAKER_00]: My therapist helped me through it though and I'm now where I am nearly a year later.

[00:21:01] [SPEAKER_00]: And it sounds like that no contact was very much needed and I'm glad when people are able to step

[00:21:07] [SPEAKER_00]: up and do that. Like I always say it's incredibly tough when you're on the inside. Things have

[00:21:12] [SPEAKER_00]: been normalized for you etc but what do you guys make of this situation? Let us know your

[00:21:18] [SPEAKER_00]: thoughts down in the comments below. Just a huge thank you from the bottom of my heart

[00:21:22] [SPEAKER_00]: for getting involved in today's stories. Your love, your support, your time always means the

[00:21:26] [SPEAKER_00]: absolute world to me so thank you so so much and hopefully I'll see you in the next one. Take care

[00:21:32] [SPEAKER_00]: and much love.