My Husband Secretly CANCELLED My Plane Ticket To My Sisters Wedding r/Relationships

[00:00:01] Hey Waffle Gang, I do hope you're well. My name is Mark and today we're checking out some more Reddit Stories. And if you do love a Reddit Story, why not consider hitting that like, subscribe, maybe that notification bell too. And let's crack on with today's first story. Much love guys. Now today's first story comes from WallsWindows1376 and says, Am I the arsehole for still going to my sister's wedding after my husband cancelled my plane ticket?

[00:00:30] And before we do get into today's story, I just want to give you a bit of a warning that there is talk of sexual assault within the story. So if you do want to skip it, please feel free to do so. Timestamps are always down in the description and along the timeline below. Thank you.

[00:00:44] It starts off. Here's the situation. My husband, 36 and I, 30, have three kids. Two, four and seven. I'm a stay at home mum full time and I take care of the kids while my husband works full time. My sister's wedding was last week. We live hours away, which is an issue for my husband. When we first got the invite, he told me that he wasn't going, that he will stay for the kids and suggested I do the same. Since the wedding doesn't work, I'm going to go to the same.

[00:01:14] He doesn't allow kids and my husband doesn't want to hire a babysitter after the one we had robbed us. We've gone back and forth on this, but I insisted on going since that's my only sister and I want to attend what might be a once in a lifetime event for her. He chuckled at my statement. Then we stopped talking about it. As the wedding was approaching, he brought it up and he told me to miss it and stay with the kids.

[00:01:37] I suggested that since no babysitters were allowed then, I could get my friend to stay with the kids, but he refused. I ignored him, spoke to my friend who agreed to watch the kids and booked a ticket to travel to my sister's town in time. My husband found out and went on about how he had to work and that the most logical solution is that I stay home with the kids and let him make his living.

[00:02:01] I told him that I already took care of the kids and let's stay with my friend. Honestly, I grew impatient. The day of my flight, I dropped the kids off at my friend's place, then headed to the airport. I found out that he had cancelled my plane ticket. I was upset but still insisted on going, so I went home and got into my car and drove four hours to get to the town. At 5pm, my husband called and was freaking out on me asking where I was.

[00:02:28] I told him I made it to my sister's town and he blew up saying I wasn't supposed to go. He even said he cancelled my ticket to get me to stay. He demanded I return but I said not until the wedding was over. He called me a horrible, neglectful mum, then had his mum scold me and accuse me of abandoning my own kids.

[00:02:48] There was a huge argument ensued when I returned home and my husband kept on saying that I was horrible to leave the kids and to ignore him like that and do what I wanted eventually. He's given me silent treatment as of now and I can no longer take it. I felt guilty and did not enjoy the wedding at all. Was I wrong for still going? So, Opie added a little bit of info and an update in the same post before the main update.

[00:03:14] It said, info, my husband dislikes my sister if it's relevant. And this small update says, So a lot of people on here brought up the possibility of my husband lying about the robbery that happened months ago and accusing the babysitter of stealing just so I can't hire any other babysitters. So a lot of people here brought up the possibility of my husband lying about the robbery that happened months ago and accusing the babysitter of stealing just so I can't hire any other babysitters. He was the one who discovered the robbery.

[00:03:44] I never saw or talked to her after he kicked her out. Upon reading the comments, I'm now suspecting that he made this whole thing up. I'm going to contact the babysitter to get the whole story from. Hopefully, I'm wrong but I will talk to her and see if her story contradicts his in any way. I'll keep you updated. Absolute huge red flags all around, right? Especially with a bit of extra information at the end there, which I didn't think of to be honest.

[00:04:14] But it's certainly a possibility, right? There's just hugely controlling behavior all in this one post. And there was no sort of reason for why he wanted you to stay home. It's just stay home with the kids and that's it. And went so far as canceling your plane ticket, which is a process in itself, isn't it? You know, having to phone the company or log in with your details to cancel that. And there was other things that jumped out to me like let him make his living,

[00:04:42] using the kids to try and manipulate you, that you was horrible to leave the kids. And then of course, getting old mummy involved at the same time as well. Oof. And in those situations, I always wonder if he's told his mum the truth of what actually happened in that situation. He may have and she may just be as awful as him, of course. But you think any normal person that you're telling this story to, if it was from your perspective, like, oh yeah, I told her not to go, she needed to look after the kids and then I cancelled her plane ticket.

[00:05:12] You'll be like, whoa, hold up a second here. What the fuck's that about? But some relevant comments with Opie replying, someone says not the arsehole, he's awful. It's ridiculous to suggest you miss the wedding as there were obviously childcare solutions and to cancel the ticket is super abusive. I can't see how this doesn't cause massive damage to your relationship. He's ridiculously controlling. Opie says thing is, I'd already suggested other solutions, but he was dead set on not letting me come.

[00:05:40] I ignored him because I was at my wits end and he wouldn't want it any other way. Another commenter says, in quotes, horrible, neglectful mum and then says, from the man that did everything he could to not have to parent his own kids for a weekend. The relationship is not healthy. He's manipulating and controlling. Hopefully the comments here open your eyes, not the arsehole. Opie responds saying, with a confounded face emojis and says, is how I felt when I heard him say it.

[00:06:10] Not a new thing though, because he has called me names before, but to say that I'm a neglectful mum? That's things hard. A commenter says, financial abuse? Yep. Isolating you from loved ones? Yep. And controlling behaviour? Yep. Not the arsehole and please leave the arsehole. He should be required to give you child support and alimony. You are not neglectful. Your kids were taken care of. Opie says, thank you so much.

[00:06:38] The childcare arrangement issues has been making my life 10 times harder. After that babysitter robbed us, my husband decided that no babysitter is allowed into our home anymore. I disagreed because of how illogical his decision was and now look at how much we're struggling. I'm struggling actually without outside help. Thank God for my friend. She's like a sister to me. A commenter says you're not the arsehole either way. For info, why did he have his mum berate you after he was done?

[00:07:06] You know you're not the arsehole. He's obviously a control freak. And the way you said he wants to earn his money. His money, like it's not yours, screams financial abuse. I'm honestly feeling like this is fake, but to give you the benefit of the doubt, you really need to think hard about this situation and realise that he's setting you up so you can never leave. And since you left, if you go back home after this, he's going to make it harder for you to leave again. OP says he does it all the time.

[00:07:36] I was blamed by her when the previous babysitter robbed our house. I got called names by her and my husband too. It happened 7 months ago, but it still hurts like hell. A commenter says to OP, Info, do you have evidence the babysitter robbed you apart from the missing items and your husband's testimony? It sounds like he's trying to isolate and control you. It is completely unreasonable to expect your wife to skip her only sister's wedding. OP says no. I wasn't home when it happened.

[00:08:06] It was after the babysitter left that my husband discovered the robbery. We never found the stuff, but my husband said it was her. Because who else could it be? And then kicked her out, even though I was the one who hired her. He told me he was the one paying her, so I shouldn't protest. That's it. It happened months ago. So OP came in with her update and says, I contacted the babysitter via social media. I sent her a DM telling her who I was and mentioning the incident that happened at our home.

[00:08:37] I didn't think she'd respond given that it's been over 7 months since she left us. But I was surprised when she responded in 2 hours time. I again mentioned the incident to her and asked if she could explain to me what happened. She sent me a long wall of text swearing she never took anything from our home and that my husband came home and was lashing out at her and the kids for no reason. She said that they didn't talk to him that day, but then brought up a previous interaction they both had.

[00:09:03] Then she claimed that he touched her inappropriately while he was in the kitchen with her. This caught me off guard. I asked her to expand on that and she said she wasn't sure it was an accident or that he did it deliberately. She said he didn't say anything, but his looks made her uncomfortable. She also said she was willing to let it go until she saw that he started leaving her texts days later demanding she respond to him. Then the day he accused her of the robbery.

[00:09:30] He just lashed out at her criticizing her work and told her to leave and not come back. She said he didn't accuse her of anything being stolen. Just lashed out and told her to leave. I couldn't wrap my head around this. I just really, I don't know what to say. Basically she was saying he tried to hit on her, but then said she wasn't sure it was an accident. Then he just all of a sudden came home one day and lashed out and told her to leave. I can't make sense of this.

[00:09:58] I went to try to speak to him on that, but he kept blocking my attempts to discuss it, so I blew up. Showed him what the babysitter sent me and he remained calm. Which is completely out of character of him. He kept repeating the line, She's lying to you. Well I absolutely lost it on him. I threatened to take the kids and go stay with my friend, which is what I'm going to do today after he leaves the house. Since he said that I can't do that, then I'm waiting till he's out.

[00:10:28] He kept calling me crazy to believe some kid's story over his and insisted that I was looking to dig up dirt to start a fight. I refused to continue fighting. I just kept my distance from him. This is just horrible. I did not see this coming. I feel like a cold wave just hit me and I don't know what to say about this. And worst of all is that I have no evidence or proof. I'm going to be taking some space from him now to clear my mind and think of what I'm going to do going forward.

[00:10:55] So there were some more comments with replies from the OP. Someone says take the kids. If you have messages, screenshot everything. Screenshot what the babysitter told you. Screenshot you buying their ticket and then he cancelling it. If his mother trashed you via DMs, screenshot that too. Don't yield on this. The first step of everything is realizing something is not good. You already reached out that step. Your family will help you. Your friends will help you. Don't yield. Don't give up.

[00:11:24] And good luck. OP responded saying yes. I'm too overwhelmed right now but I'll make sure to store those messages. I already kept all his messages. Including his mum's verbal attacks towards me. It's all for the way he and his mum treat me. In front of their kids no less. I'm at the end of my rope. I feel suffocated and my chest feels tight and heavy. We'll need to get fresh air later on and away from the kids just so I can get my thoughts in order. OP responded to a deleted comment and says

[00:11:54] I fully believe and I'm now convinced that the reason he cancelled the plane ticket and went ballistic when I attended the wedding is because he hates my sister. He calls her a slur on the regular and yells at me about how she sleeps around. Which is none of his freaking business. I'm just so mad at myself for letting him get this far and humiliating me and badmouthing my family while I stood there and took it. I was an idiot. Someone said to OP

[00:12:20] I wouldn't be shocked if he hides your keys or otherwise makes your car inoperable so you can't go anywhere. If that happens phone a friend, call a cab slash ride share and I will personally Venmo you the money to get away. When you leave take important documents, birth certificates, social security cards etc with you. Hide them. Does he know where your friend lives? If so, try to find another friend that he doesn't know. His calmness is terrifying. Calm before the storm.

[00:12:49] If anything even begins to escalate, call the police for an escort. OP says Someone says to OP

[00:13:29] And I really do hope that OP did get themselves out of that situation. But like what was said, the calmness in that. It is pretty terrifying right? The fact that he told her he cancelled the plane tickets because he didn't want her to go. Just like that. It just felt sort of very blase. You know, yeah I cancelled them so you can't go. It just feels very dark. But what do you guys make of this situation? Let us know your thoughts down in the comments below. And let's move on to another story.

[00:14:00] Now our next story comes from White Pine Burning from BoomersBeingFool subreddit saying We have no buffet here. And quick warning, there is talk of racism within the story. You've been warned. My guy and I have a favourite Asian restaurant around the corner from us. We drop by a few times a month because the food is great, the servers are so kind, and the owner always stops by the table to sit with us and talk. It's like going to a friend's house.

[00:14:29] We stopped by last Thursday for dinner and we saw a We have no buffet laminated sign on the door. When the owner came over to chat and we asked her about it, she took a deep sigh, rolled her eyes and pulled up a chair. I feel like I'm at the table. Apparently, since she opened the place 25 years ago, people have come in expecting an Asian buffet. She's never had one. People looked around, saw it's a small place and no buffet. They'd leave. She said that's changed, however.

[00:14:58] She said she's been getting a continual stream of those old people who check in with the hostess, are shown to a table and given menus. The server comes over, flatware, water and tea. She gives them a minute and comes back. We'll have the buffet, they say. Nowhere on the menu is a buffet listed. Look around at the eight other tables and six booths. No buffet. The owner says that these folks always come back with, what do you mean you got no buffet?

[00:15:28] All Chinese places have a buffet. They have a tantrum, get mouthy with a server, occasionally getting racist while they're at it, and storm out. But it doesn't end there. Even with a sign, the owner says she still has boomers, read the sign, approach the hostess and ask, why don't you have a buffet? The sign says you don't have a buffet. The first commenter on this one says, but Asian restaurant sans buffets are the best. Ropey says, this one really is.

[00:15:57] There's not much to look at decor wise, but she's had the same three servers for years. The food is pretty basic, but wholesome and fresh, and it's on the table in no time. It's one of those places that's made with love. Seriously. She works almost every day. She's open because she really likes working there. She says if she had to be home, her teenagers would just make her crazy. She has a sister who runs her own place across town. It's been a family thing. She gives us free crab cheese. Crab cheese?

[00:16:27] I'm going to have to Google that afterwards. Another commenter says, no, we don't offer buffet as the sign out front clearly states. The sign isn't written in Chinese. Can't you read English? Sir slash mom. Ropey says, yeah, I can read. I just don't know why. You won't just tell me why you don't have a buffet. I like buffets and you say you don't have one. So why is that? Do I need to ask your manager? So Opie came in with an update a short while later and says,

[00:16:56] you might recall I posted here a while back about me and my guy's favorite Chinese place. We eat there frequently like three or four times a month. The owner is Asian, second generation Asian American, and it's a place she's run for 25 years with her family. It's her life and she loves what she does. What I posted was about the irate boomers who've demanded a Chinese buffet meal at a restaurant. They don't believe her when she's never offered a buffet and get mad at her for their own inability to read the damn menu.

[00:17:25] So she put up a sign that says in big letters, no buffet here. Here's the update. Last Friday, we stopped in. We're greeted by her daughter and she waved from the kitchen door. A few minutes later after we ordered, she came to our booth and asked us if she could sit with us for a bit. What's been happening is that she's noticed an increase in hostility by customers, boomers mostly. Towards her servers and herself. Her serving staff are all family and most are ESL

[00:17:54] and don't speak perfect English. Customers have been poking fun and disrespectful. Yes, even with a big 11 by 14 laminated sign at eye level on the front door. Boomers still get shitty when they told her there is no buffet served here. One of the most recent comments was, all you Chinese people have buffets. So why not here? The worst part is that recently someone, on more than one occasion, has been calling the county health department to complain about her restaurant.

[00:18:23] Her scores are on the county's compliance section of their website and she's always had perfect scores. Yet someone has called three times to complain about live animals being kept in the kitchen and butchered for food. Rabbits mostly. But someone claims she had cats too. The health department is obligated to check out the complaints but they know her. They know the complaints are harassment and they close them out each time. Guys, she's actually becoming afraid for her business.

[00:18:51] Her staff is experiencing uncivilized behavior that they didn't have before. She's afraid tariffs will hurt her budgets. She says she's going to stay put and stay strong. That's a weird one. Like in all the local towns that I know of and been to, a buffet style restaurant is sort of in the minority but the absolute thought process to go in, not see a buffet anywhere, there's a sign on the door, you look at the menu and then you still complain about it.

[00:19:19] It's just like such a wild thought process in itself. If you're not happy there's no buffet, they just go somewhere that there is. Look on Google. You'll find one somewhere that you can go to. Don't stand there and moan because it's not going to change anything, is it? Not exactly like the restaurant's going to suddenly go, you're bloody right. Let's get the buffet started. And would you seriously want a buffet for those people anyway? I mean, there'd be a right pain in the tits. Oh, deary, deary me. Anyway,

[00:19:48] now I'm going to turn this one to you guys. What do you guys make of this situation? Let us know your thoughts down in the comments below. And once again, just a huge thank you for being here today, getting involved in the stories, your love, your support, your time. It always means the absolute world to me. So thank you so, so much. And hopefully I'll see you in the next one. Take care and much love.