My Husband Lied About Coming To Help Me Whilst I Was CRITICALLY SICK r/Relationships

[00:00:01] Hey Waffle Gang, I do hope you're well. My name is Mark and today we're checking out some more Reddit Stories. And if you do love a Reddit Story, why not consider that like, subscribe, maybe that notification bell too. And let's crack on with today's first story. Much love guys. Now today's first story comes from a throwaway account from the true off my chest subreddit. And it says, My husband lied about coming to help me while I was critically sick.

[00:00:27] I, 28 female, have been married to my husband, 32 male, for three years. We have a one-year-old daughter together. Up until recently, I thought I could count on him when I truly needed him. But last week, he proved me completely wrong. I'd been feeling off for a couple of days. Fatigued, nauseous, just generally unwell. Then one morning I woke up with a fever, chills and a deep sense that something was really wrong.

[00:00:56] I was so weak I could barely get out of bed. Taking care of our daughter felt impossible. I called my husband at work and told him I needed him to come home. He promised he would. An hour passed. Then two. He kept texting me saying he was just finishing up something and would leave soon. Then he claimed he was stuck in traffic. Then he said he was on his way but had to stop for gas.

[00:01:21] At this point, my fever was getting worse and I was struggling to even sit up without feeling dizzy. I told him it was urgent. He reassured me that he was almost there. But something felt off. So I text one of his co-workers, someone I knew he was close with. The response I got sent a chill down my spine. He hasn't left yet. He's still here.

[00:01:43] I was furious and terrified. I immediately called my neighbor, a kind older. She came over right away, helped me get dressed and drove me to the hospital. Turns out I had a severe, asymptomatic urinary tract infection. That turned into a serious kidney infection. My heart rate was dangerously high and the doctors told me that if I had waited much longer, I could have gone into septic shock.

[00:02:09] Two hours later, while I was lying in that hospital bed, shaking from fever and hooked up to an IV, my husband finally decided to show up. I didn't even want to look at him. He tried to explain saying he didn't realize it was that bad and that he was just trying to wrap things up at work. But I can't get over the fact that he lied to me, over and over, while I was at home struggling to stay conscious. If my neighbor hadn't have been there, I don't know what would have happened to me.

[00:02:37] I feel so betrayed. If you could ignore me in a life-threatening situation, what does that say about our marriage? About our future? About our daughter's safety if something ever happens again? I don't know what to do. Would you be able to trust your partner after something like this? Look, you said at the very end and you asked about how do you trust someone after that? And I always think about that once you lose trust in someone in stories like this because it's hard to build that back up.

[00:03:05] It's hard to look at that person again and because it can destroy everything, the foundation of everything your relationship is built on. And when your partner's repeatedly lying to you while you're fighting to stay conscious, making up stories of traffic and gas stops and being almost there while actually never leaving work at all, how'd you look at him and think that, yeah, he prioritized me in a medical emergency over work? Because he hasn't this time.

[00:03:33] But okay, Willow says, yeah, no, I couldn't do this either. If you had waited for him and gone into septic shock and probably ultimately died, what would he have done then? That could have 100% been prevented if he just came home when you asked. He gives more loyalty to a job that'll just replace him when it's his time over his wife who he chose to love in sickness and health. Shadow Vision says, we're expecting to have our first child in about a month and a half.

[00:04:02] I, the dad, notified work of the due date and I expected that I'd be scheduled on overlapping shifts so if something happens they won't have to scramble to find coverage. March schedule just came out and on the last week I'm exclusively scheduled at off-sites, on my own, so I can't just drop everything and leave. Really? Yeah, right. Guess who has two feet and can leave?

[00:04:26] I'm not missing the birth of my first child for anything and I'm not going to be anywhere except wherever boss mama wants me to be. Stella Space Yam says, I went through something very similar with a now ex. I tried to get past it but I just knew in my heart after that that he wasn't reliable and wouldn't prioritize me in the most dire of circumstances. And that's a hard thing to move past, even without children. Trade Intelligence says, yep, me too. Now ex. But everyone ahead and even doubted my illness.

[00:04:55] Not a friend or even a person on your team. This is one of those, when they show you who they are, believe them. So, Opie soon comes in with her update and says, I'm feeling better and finally back home after a few days in the hospital. My parents came to pick up my daughter and took care of her while I was away. They live four hours away, so I hadn't asked for their help earlier. I didn't really get an apology from him, just a bunch of excuses.

[00:05:21] He said he didn't think it was that serious and I should have just gone to the neighbor if it was really that bad. I didn't argue. Not because I agree, but because some of the comments I got made me realize some things. People asked if I'm the type 2 cry wolf and that's why he didn't come. In 5 years of being together, I've only ever needed him to take me to the hospital once, when I gave birth to our daughter.

[00:05:45] He wasn't there when I was sick and if he had come home, he probably wouldn't have done much anyway, if it didn't need a hospital. But then someone asked me what I'd do if it was our daughter in my position and he acted the same way. That hit me hard. And as dramatic as it sounds, I don't want to be with him anymore. I don't think I can ever trust him again. I've made an appointment with a lawyer, but of course, divorce takes time. I'm looking for an apartment, but the housing shortage is a nightmare, since I live in a rural area.

[00:06:14] Though, there's still hope. I haven't told him yet. He's acting like nothing's wrong, so I'm doing the same. I even saw comments suggesting that he might not have actually been at work, maybe using it as an excuse for something else. So one night while he was sleeping, I checked his phone. I didn't find proof he wasn't at work, but I did find messages to women, multiple flirty ones, and the Tinder app. These messages have been going on for months.

[00:06:39] He was also sending TikToks to his friends while I was sick, laughing and joking around with no real concern for me. He told me his boss refused to give him time off. I found no evidence that he even asked for time off or discussed my condition with anyone. I'm starting to suspect he lied if he really did ask. It would have been illegal for his boss to deny him leave where I live. At this point, I don't feel like confronting him. I just want out.

[00:07:06] I ignored the red flags before, the small lies, broken promises I shouldn't have. I thought he'd be there for me when it mattered most. But I guess I was naive. I never thought anyone could let me down like this. I'm not telling him I'm leaving until I'm ready. Just like he didn't tell me he wasn't coming. Counsel Hippo says to OP, I'm not really surprised you found what you found. I'm so glad that you're okay and I applaud you for realizing you and your daughter deserve better.

[00:07:35] You are absolutely correct to not mention anything until the plan is fully in place as you walk out the door. Good luck. Everything will be better. Firm information says exactly this. OP is handling it smart. No need to give him a heads up. Wishing her and her daughter a smooth transition to a better life. And Wish says take screenshots of the app and flirty texts. This is evidence your divorce lawyer can use later. OP responds saying where I am, infidelity doesn't change anything regarding divorce.

[00:08:05] But I still did it if he did try to lie to people. Yeah, OP phoning time and time again, trying to get in contact with husband. And he still plays it down as, you know, I don't think it's that serious. Yeah, I don't blame OP for doing what they're doing in this situation. I imagine there's some kind of pattern in there somewhere as well. There usually is. But what do you guys make of this situation? Let us know your thoughts down in the comments below. And let's move on to another story.

[00:08:34] Now, our next story comes from OK Rooster 3890. And it says, am I the arsehole for telling my father's girlfriend that the more she talks about Jesus, the less she'll see my child. For context, I, 26 female, come from a Catholic family. But my parents decided not to raise me and my siblings as such. My father due to a crisis of faith he had years ago. And my mother because she hated practicing it.

[00:09:00] We were all baptized for our grandparents' sakes, but nothing beyond that. We never prayed, didn't have any first communions, and didn't read the Bible. I didn't even set foot in a church until I was 14. I'm very grateful for that upbringing. Today, I'm agnostic, and I don't have a great relationship with the church. My husband's family is also Catholic, but he doesn't practice it. Our first child was born earlier this month, and we decided to raise him without religion.

[00:09:27] Neither of our extended families cared much, but we've been having some trouble with a few people over it. My father has been dating a Christian woman for six years. I'll admit, I don't like her, but I don't dislike her either. Before I got pregnant, she wasn't the preachy type. To me, at least. She wasn't happy when I told her I was agnostic, but didn't try to change my mind. She did talk about her religion a lot, and kept trying to get my father to engage with it frequently. But not much beyond that.

[00:09:57] Soon after, I announced my pregnancy. My husband and I had dinner with my father and his girlfriend, during which she told us she knew the perfect place for the baptism. We said we weren't planning on baptizing our baby, and from that moment, she got annoyingly preachy to me and my husband. It was mostly indirect stuff, such as giving the whole family speeches about how glad she was to have Jesus in her life. But some were impossible to mask as unrelated.

[00:10:23] She gave me a decorative cross for the nursery on my baby shower, tried to make us all say grace during Christmas dinner, which we've never done before, with or without her, and kept bringing up a priest friend of hers who just so happened to also do baptisms. My husband and I stood by our decision. Fast forward to now, our baby was born a couple of weeks early. He was pretty much full term, but we were all still worried. He's perfectly healthy, and we're all doing well.

[00:10:52] Yesterday, my father and his girlfriend came over to see the baby. While I was telling them about my labor and how it was at the hospital, she told me that she's been praying for us the whole time, that we should all praise Jesus for giving us such a beautiful blessing as my son. Unrelated to her previous preacher-ness or not, I lost whatever patience I had. I said, you know what? I'm done. The more you talk about Jesus and religion and whatever, the less you'll see my child. She was quiet the rest of the visit.

[00:11:22] After they left, my father called me. He told me he understood I was frustrated, but I should have been so rude to his girlfriend. He told me her intentions were pure, and she was only behaving like this because of how important religion was to her. I don't think I'm in the wrong for my feelings, but I'm worried I was too rude. Am I the Yassau? All in all, this is about respecting someone else's boundaries.

[00:11:48] OP, our husband, they both made a clear decision on how they want to raise their own child. They communicated it with everyone, but now is being repeatedly ignored and undermined. And dad is totally missing the whole point here. OP's parenting choices are what's important to her as the actual parent. Her decisions take priority, that's all there is to it. And personally, I don't think it was particularly rude. It sounded like you were at the end of your tether with this.

[00:12:17] And when your polite requests repeatedly are ignored, you know, you have to draw a line in the sand somewhere, right? In the comments, someone says, not the asshole, maybe remind your dad what's important to you. She can have her faith, but when she starts pushing that on others, that's her crossing boundaries. OP responded to that by saying, my father tends to humor her when it comes to these things, which kind of surprises me, because she pushes her faith onto him more than onto us. I'm obviously okay with him doing that for himself,

[00:12:47] but not when it extends to me and my siblings. A commenter, which was downvoted, says, you're the asshole. Whether you're religious or not, for most people who do have a relationship with God, praying for somebody is them showing love. Your baby could have had complications and she prayed for him because that was the most she could do to help the baby. It's kind of bogus that you can't see her trying to show love only because you don't like the way she did it. That's weird. OP says,

[00:13:15] I have no problem with her praying for my child, but that is something she can do without announcing it or expecting us to do the same, especially when talking to a family she knows full well is not religious. So, OP did come in with her update and said, hey folks, update time. This might get a little long. I showed my first post along with your comments and my replies to my husband. He told me he agreed I had been rude to my father's girlfriend, but thought she had pushed me to the point

[00:13:43] in which I had no other choice. He was actually surprised I lasted so long without saying anything. For the record, I'm not opposed to religion or to Catholicism. I have religious friends. I've seen Godspell and I've visited churches without catching fire. One of the most beautiful places I've ever been to was the Metropolitan Cathedral in Brasilia. I've managed to endure preachiness for short periods of time. I'm just not religious. There are many reasons why I don't have

[00:14:11] a good relationship with the church, most of which I'm not comfortable sharing. I will say that I've been agnostic since I was a teenager and people have been trying to tell me that I'm wrong and I need to be Christian or Catholic for longer than that. I also live in a very religious country, which never helped my case. I've always loathed people who obsessively preach about their faith to others. I find it incredibly disrespectful and hypocritical. I wouldn't run around telling people what I think as an agnostic

[00:14:40] and expect my acquaintances to do the same. Sometimes you need to be an asshole to get your point across. I wish I'd understood that sooner. I think I downplay how stressful it was to deal with my father's girlfriend's behavior during my pregnancy. Everything happened a lot quicker than I expected. On Monday, my older brother informed me our father and his girlfriend had told him about what had happened, apparently expecting him to take their side. He took mine and they ended up having a short fight.

[00:15:08] I decided to sort this out with my father before it extended to my sister. A couple of days ago, my husband and I called my father and his girlfriend to talk about the subject. I told her that as much as I appreciate how much she seems to care about our son, both me and my husband are uncomfortable with the way she's been trying to push her faith onto our family. We don't want to raise our son as well as any other kids we have in the future with religion. And we expect people who would be a part of his life to respect that. I told her that moving forward,

[00:15:38] we wouldn't accept any religious gifts. Crosses, Virgin Mary figurines, etc. Wouldn't entertain any attempts to make us pray or say grace and would shut down any speeches about accepting Jesus into our hearts. My husband counted seven in December alone. No more hinting that we should baptize our child either. She is free to pray for us if she wants, but we don't want to know about it. We will respect her faith as long as she respects our boundaries.

[00:16:06] She remained quiet while I said all of this. When I finished, she asked, can't you at least put the cross I gave you in his room? Not gonna lie, that was one of the most frustrating things I'd heard someone say to me in a while. My husband nearly lost his patience. I replied with, this is exactly what we were talking about. No. The answer has always been no. And will always be no. And if you keep refusing to accept that, we will restrict your access to our son. It's that simple.

[00:16:36] We didn't talk much after that. She apologized and we said we forgave her. Then we said our goodbyes. Later that day, my sister went to their place and she said my father's girlfriend was very quiet and seemed upset. My father called me on his own yesterday and we talked a little more about this. He did try to defend his girlfriend a bit and if I had a coin for every time he said, it's just how she is, I'd be very rich. But he mostly focused on apologizing to me. I accepted it.

[00:17:05] His girlfriend also texted me with another apology. She sounded more sincere this time. I told her I don't want her to think I'm doing this out of disrespect for a religion. I simply don't share her beliefs. She told me she understood. And this is it. I don't think this is over, but I feel like I've wasted more than enough energy for now. Part of me is still hopeful this will die its own death. Unless my father's girlfriend tries holy waterboarding me sometime soon, I won't update again.

[00:17:34] My son is happy, healthy and loved. That's all I care about right now. Thank you guys. And I wish you all well. A lot of people on the back of this one saying this isn't over quite yet. But what do you guys make of this situation? I think OP handled it pretty well. Let us know your thoughts down in the comments below. And let's move on to another story. Our next story comes from FarmMaster69 who says,

[00:18:08] I've been working with this girl for over two years. And as time went on, we got pretty close without me realizing how serious it was getting. A few months into working together, she started dropping hints about wanting me to be her boyfriend and even her future husband. At first, I thought she was just joking around. But last year, it hit me that she was dead serious. The catch? She already had a boyfriend and was set to get married. I knew it was messed up,

[00:18:37] so I cut ties outside of work and tried to keep things strictly professional. But she wouldn't let up. She kept texting and finding excuses to talk, even saying she'd ditch her fiancé if I was into her. I wasn't having it. Then she sent me a wedding invite, again promising me she'd leave her fiancé if I said yes. To be honest, it kind of hurt for me to see someone giving so much attention to me and getting married. But I knew I didn't love her and she just wasn't right for me.

[00:19:06] I stuck to my gut and skipped the wedding, only sending a heartfelt congratulatory message and apologizing for not being able to make it. A few months before the wedding, she admitted that the only reason she was going through with it was because I never accepted her. Even after all that, she still thought I'd choose her over everything. But I've always known I never wanted to be with someone else's girlfriend, especially when it's this messy. For the past eight months, she's been chasing me non-stop, asking stuff like,

[00:19:35] why can't we be together? Or maybe it's fate that we should be together. While finding every excuse to hang out, whether it's movies or dinner, no matter how much I've tried to distance myself, she always finds a way back into the conversation. The worst part, even if she cancelled the wedding for me, I still wouldn't have taken her. If she could do this to her fiancé, I knew she could do it to me. Now that she's married, it still stings a little, but I know I made the right call. A lot of people below this one

[00:20:05] obviously expressing their sadness for the husband in this and like, why doesn't he know by now? But I hope he gave a little update on the end of that one, saying, I just want you to listen. I'm not looking for closure from you. I want you to hear my closure between us. You're married. The fact that you say you're going through this because I didn't accept you is your choice. I never gave you the green light. I've always said no. Not mostly, not almost, but entirely and always no. I understand that I might be your ideal type,

[00:20:35] but why are you putting yourself through this when you don't even truly want to? Shouldn't you just be thinking about both of your futures? I don't know if you'll take my advice, but please don't do this to your husband. He might love you to death and has put so much effort to be with you. I don't want to involve anyone else in this, but I wanted to give you this final closure. From now on, I won't respond to you about anything personal. The only connection we will have is a professional one and that is final. This weekend, go spend your wonderful time with your husband

[00:21:05] and throw away all the thought between us and never think of that with anyone else ever again. And again, I don't want any of your closure right now. I want you to take your time to think about a pure and honest closure from you. And the closure I'm expecting is you to love your husband and only your husband and there will be no one in the picture. And as a hint, there's going to be a further update and some sort of closure between the two of them. But I guess we'll see about that. I just feel really shitty for the husband in all this, in all honesty.

[00:21:33] But what do you guys make of this situation? Let us know your thoughts down in the comments below. Now, just a huge thank you for being here today, getting involved in the stories, your love, your support, your time, you bloody cheeky so-and-so. Thank you so, so much. And hopefully, I'll see you in the next one. Take care and much love.