My Husband FLIPPED And Rubbed Animal Poo Over My Pillow | r/AmIOverreacting

[00:00:02] [SPEAKER_00] Hey Waffle Gang, I do hope you are well. My name is Mark and today we're checking out some more Reddit stories. And if you do love a Reddit story, why not consider? And that like, subscribe, maybe that notification bell too. And let's crack on with today's first story. Much love guys. Now today's first story comes from the Am I Overreacting subreddit from 929225 and it says, Am I Overreacting? Husband rubbed poo on my pillow.

[00:00:30] [SPEAKER_00] Now just a quick warning before we do get into this, it does contain talk of domestic abuse and obviously there's gonna be talk of poo within the story. So if you are eating at this moment in time, you might want to skip the story. Totally up to you. And let's crack on with it. A few years ago, my husband was absolutely desperate to get pet guinea pigs. I was reluctant as I work a busy job and struggle with my health due to lupus. I didn't want to be left to look after them myself. He is very fickle and I knew he would get bored of them.

[00:01:01] [SPEAKER_00] This did end up happening and after a couple of years, my husband said he no longer wanted our guinea pig and we should take her to a rescue. I was horrified as I believe we have made a commitment to look after her and I'd be so sad to give her away. He then said the only way we could keep her was if I took over all her care, mainly cleaning her cage. I was not happy with this because of the reasons I mentioned above. But he said if I didn't agree, then she would have to go. So I felt I had no choice.

[00:01:30] [SPEAKER_00] One day I was cleaning her cage as he was continuing to refuse to do this and he ended up getting annoyed. I told him it was really unfair as I wasn't feeling well and had been working until 7pm whereas he had been home from around 3pm. This is the case most days.

[00:02:17] [SPEAKER_00] I started rubbing the rag all over my pillow, smearing guinea pig poo on it in the process. As I mentioned earlier, I have lupus and inject immunosuppressants, meaning I don't have a functioning immune system. I had just injected a few days before so I was so freaked out I was shouting at him to stop because of this. I never received a proper apology for this and he just kept blaming me saying it was because I threw the rag at him and I shouldn't have done that.

[00:02:45] [SPEAKER_00] On one occasion, he even said the rag hit him in the face which is absolutely untrue. It didn't hit him anywhere. I have just had to move on from this and bury my feelings about it. But it did scare me and I don't know if I'm overreacting. What are your thoughts? The top commenter said to OP, I want to be gentle with you as much as possible when I say this, but you need to start pulling back from this relationship.

[00:03:10] [SPEAKER_00] If you don't find it in your heart right now to outright break up with him, go on a break or outright divorce him. You really need to start pulling back from this relationship emotionally and physically. That type of behavior is a precedent for immature and violent behavior that can come in the future. Knowing that your immune system is very sensitive and can easily be compromised by something like that, that is extremely malicious and intentional. Anybody else reacting to your frustration would have walked out of the room to calm down,

[00:03:40] [SPEAKER_00] talked it out with you right then, or would have picked up the slack and cleaned out the guinea pig's cage, since he wanted it to begin with. It is incredibly selfish for him to pin the responsibility of a pet that you initially did not want onto you. I need you to understand that this is not a healthy dynamic. And this is an example of areas in your marriage where he could also fail you in more serious conditions. Please think this over OP. I know you may not think this as serious as it is,

[00:04:06] [SPEAKER_00] but in the given climate of healthcare, political instability, and social inequality between the genders, I really need you to take the heat in your own safety and well-being of this particular man in your life. Has he exhibited behavior like this before? And to what extent had he gone with it before he pulled back? If he even pulled back? Please think these types of thoughts over. Reach out to someone that you trust in your personal life about their perspective on what happened as well.

[00:04:33] [SPEAKER_00] Much love, and I hope you make the best decision for you and your well-being. OP did reply saying thank you for your effort you've put into this reply and for the kindness that has shone through. This is probably the most shocking and physical incident. However, there are a lot of emotional and psychological scenarios. He has a history of calling me names, usually effing bitch, and has told me before that I bring nothing of value to the table,

[00:04:59] [SPEAKER_00] despite owning a six-figure business, even though in my 20s and doing most of the housework. He's also said that no one else would want me, etc. For the next day, I'm the best wife in the world. He has also destroyed some of my things. For example, my aunt got me a wicker Christmas decoration, and he didn't like it, so it ended up setting it on fire. He also put a reed diffuser that I got from my parents out in the rain, which ruined it. He always has a reason or justification for his actions, though.

[00:05:26] [SPEAKER_00] Bar Opportunity replies to OP saying, can I ask what you see in him? I've read your other posts, and he is sexually abusive, verbally abusive, holds financial lists over you. When somebody shows you who they really are, believe them. Edited to add, and you deserve so much more than this. This is so much worse than the bare minimum. Please leave this man and get yourself into some therapy to help work on your own self-esteem. You have so much value, and you are so worthy.

[00:05:55] [SPEAKER_00] You are also still young and have a whole life ahead of you. OP responded saying, honestly, the truth is that he was never like this before. The complete opposite. It doesn't even feel real that things have turned out this way. My life looks nothing like how I thought it would. Oh, deary me, that's incredibly heartbreaking. Because there's no doubt that OP's in an abusive situation in this. And, you know, OP was saying at the end that he wasn't always like this.

[00:06:22] [SPEAKER_00] And it's like they always say in stories like this, that it's because the mask is dropped. He's comfortable enough to start letting that go and show you his true self. And I hope in the update that OP does recognize that they wasn't overreacting, that they're not imagining what's going on here. They're not describing a moment of anger. They're describing control, intimidation, and in the end, punishment. Because someone who loves you doesn't do this kind of thing.

[00:06:50] [SPEAKER_00] It's quite as simple as that. They don't deliberately expose you to harm, especially knowing your health makes you vulnerable at the same time. And it sounds like it's a pattern of cruel behavior followed by blame and excuses. And then, of course, the affection comes afterwards. And usually, if you don't accept that affection, it'll go back to anger and it'll rotate through that pattern again. I find it particularly sad because it makes people, and this is how abusive situations happen, it makes people doubt their own reality.

[00:07:20] [SPEAKER_00] And that's just what's incredibly frustrating and sad about it. But five months later, OP did come in with an update and said, Long story short, I left for good. The months that followed were very difficult.

[00:07:49] [SPEAKER_00] My husband was entitled to half my business despite not having contributed to it financially. He insisted on separate finances, which meant I got a pretty terrible financial deal on everything else to try and protect it. I did in fact have to pay him back for the one time he paid for my petrol in 2022 in the settlement. Within weeks, it became obvious that another female was staying in my house. When I came back to get my things, he had dumped most of them in a spare bedroom and covered them up with blankets and towels.

[00:08:18] [SPEAKER_00] He then started putting my mail in a cupboard for this new girl's things so that I would actually have to move them out of the way to get my letters. There were condom packets littered all over the place along with receipts left lying from restaurants. Eventually, it became too hard to go back and I just left the rest of my things. Meaning, I only really left with my clothes and sentimental items. I decided it wasn't worth the trauma of discovering what he'd left for me to see next.

[00:08:45] [SPEAKER_00] It wasn't long before I found out that he had started selling everything I'd left behind on Facebook. I decided not to rise to it. It's just stuff at the end of the day. However, I have to say I'm doing really well. As many of you predicted, my health improved as soon as I left and I actually haven't injected my immunosuppressants since. Which is huge considering I injected every month for over three years.

[00:09:09] [SPEAKER_00] I've just bought a beautiful house that I love and I feel as though I am slowly returning to myself and remembering who I am. I never expected to be single at 29. When all my friends are married and have babies but I know now that there was no other option. I just want to thank everyone who took the time to comment on my original posts. Every single comment made me reflect on my situation. I read so many of them over and over again to help me to gain strength.

[00:09:35] [SPEAKER_00] The kindness of strangers has been instrumental in getting me to where I am now. I hope I can live my life paying it forward. I know I have a lot of healing left to do but I am 100% on the right path. Thank you again. Miss Toe Goat says, Wow, congratulations. It's so hard to leave and start over but you did it. Wishing you the best for your bright, bright future and all that will come with it. Opie says, It's the hardest thing I've ever done but I hope that it will pay off. Thank you.

[00:10:06] [SPEAKER_00] And Dinty Boy says, What you did for yourself will pay off the rest of your life. Opie says, Love this and thank you so much. What a nasty bastard he is. The way he tried to punish her after she left. Both financially and emotionally. To me, it was just showing, you know, it wasn't about that particular moment of anger or whatever it was. It was always about this control. And it always makes me think after situations like this.

[00:10:34] [SPEAKER_00] About the next woman that comes across. I feel deeply sorry for that person who crosses his path. Because again, The mask will probably be on for a little bit. Then it'll slowly slip off. Until he shows his true self. Because let's face it, He's not going to take any real accountability. He's not going to change anytime soon. He's shown that the way he reacted straight after Opie left him. But right now, In this situation, What matters the most is that Opie got out. A health improved, Which sounds absolutely amazing.

[00:11:03] [SPEAKER_00] And she's starting to love herself at the same time. Which, let's face it, Takes incredible strength. And I really do hope that she's proud of herself for what she's done. But, What do you guys make of this situation? How would you deal with it if it was you? Let us know your thoughts down in the comments below. And let's move on to another story. Our next story comes from PepperAlternative905 From the AmITheArsehole subreddit. And it says,

[00:11:32] [SPEAKER_00] AmITheArsehole for not supporting my cousin Who shaved her head due to cancer? I know the title sounds terrible, But please read first before judging. A few months ago, My cousin, whom I'm close with, Was diagnosed with breast cancer. She was extremely lucky though, Because it was caught very early. It has not spread, And she had a lumpectomy to remove the tumor. The last I knew, She was recovering wonderfully, And the doctors believed she was in the clear, And making a full recovery.

[00:12:02] [SPEAKER_00] Other than needing to go in for frequent checkups for a while. So, so, so thankful. However, yesterday, I was shocked to see she posted one of those videos With emotional music of her husband shaving her head. Discussing about her fight. Immediately, I panicked and called her, Thinking something happened and they found it had returned. When I asked her what happened and if she was okay, She said she was fine but sounded annoyed. So, I pressed further. What happened? I saw you shaved your head.

[00:12:32] [SPEAKER_00] Do you need chemo? Is it back? Etc. She again insisted she was fine. So, I flat out asked why she cut her hair then. To which she replied, It's what you do when you have cancer. I got really confused at first. But then remarked something along the lines of, That's wonderful that you're shaving out of a solidarity of everyone fighting. She huffed again and said no. She didn't do it out of solidarity. She had to cut her hair. And she was annoyed that she had to. And complained for a solid five minutes about

[00:13:02] [SPEAKER_00] How she was going to take care of a bald head. She was going to look awful with short hair. Will constantly need to wear hats this summer. Etc. I'm completely baffled at this point. And I'll admit, I was a little annoyed. I don't take cancer or treatment lightly. So, I said cousin, People don't cut their hair just because they have cancer. They cut it because they're going to undergo a treatment That will make their hair fall out. Your treatment was done. You had no reason to cut your hair. If you did it in a show of support,

[00:13:31] [SPEAKER_00] That's fine too. But you have no right to complain or be annoyed When you chose to cut it. And then post a video about it to gain sympathy Because you did so. She told me I was being a witch And yelled at me for not supporting her And how could I be so unkind? Now, I was by her side for every appointment When she was diagnosed And her husband couldn't be there. I was there for a few days post-surgery To help her and her family out. I always have and always will support her. But this is not that at all.

[00:14:00] [SPEAKER_00] I feel like I'm losing my mind Because she just doesn't understand That having cancer automatically equals Cut your hair no matter what. Even if you are already, as far as I know, recovered. So, I might be the arsehole, simply put. I got snippy with a cancer patient for cutting her hair. But I feel like I'm not Since it wasn't necessary to do in the first place. Am I the arsehole? Remarkable, says the OP. I don't think you're an arsehole But maybe there is more going on here

[00:14:30] [SPEAKER_00] With her emotional state. Just be there for her as much as you can. She's obviously feeling something That has made her do this. OP says, I'm trying. I mentioned in another comment as well That I think she heard the diagnosis And was preparing for the worst. And then, when the worst didn't happen It's almost like she's in the Too good to be true mindset. Like even thought she's been told it's over. She doesn't feel it. Popular extension says, not the arsehole. Sounds like you love your cousin tremendously

[00:14:59] [SPEAKER_00] But her drastic actions are just odd. Try talking to her husband and explain That you weren't trying to upset her But you're confused and worried. Maybe he will have some insight. This looks like attention seeking. Maybe it is or maybe it isn't But it is odd. Good luck. OP says, unfortunately If it was done for attention seeking Then I can almost guarantee her husband was behind it. He's not a bad spouse or person really. Just very woe is me if that makes sense.

[00:15:28] [SPEAKER_00] Popular extension says, oh well That sucks honestly. Have you tried talking to her parents or siblings If she has any? OP says, she has no siblings Which is part of why she and I are so close. More like sisters than cousins. Unfortunately, her father passed a few years ago And her relationship with her mum is hit or miss As they are both hot headed And even the best intentions evolve. Imagine her reaction to me But if I had responded with equal snark And it went on for hours

[00:15:58] [SPEAKER_00] That's her and her mum I don't know It's tough Maybe I can ask her oldest daughter too She's 13 She may be able to help me figure out Her mum's mental state And I'm really glad that some comments touched on At the potential mental state of her friend right now I mean, there is the possibility of course It could be just attention seeking But it seems really extreme doesn't it? We've probably seen similar stuff in past stories

[00:16:28] [SPEAKER_00] But it could also, and the way I'm feeling That someone who isn't in a great mental space right now Especially after, you know, a cancer diagnosis Even after the treatment's gone well I can't imagine the fear just switches off like that I knew someone who had a similar diagnosis And like I was just saying The fear didn't automatically disappear When the treatment went well And I'm not saying OP should be going along with this Supporting this in any way It doesn't mean you have to play along

[00:16:56] [SPEAKER_00] With something, you know, that just isn't true Because I don't see anything wrong With OP questioning it Initially, I was confused as well I think, oh, what the bloody hell is going on here? And clearly there's a lot of love From OP towards their friend They're just confused about what's going on And I think many people would If they saw their friend doing this So I really do hope that OP is able to reach out To some friend's family A friend herself And have a calm conversation About what's actually going on But within the first post OP adds the first update Just saying, wow

[00:17:26] [SPEAKER_00] I can't believe this had so many reactions But now I'm just leaving her be And hopefully she will come to me When she is ready And we can figure out what's really going on If we do I'll be sure to post an update Also to the people who told me I was judging her And it's not my place What she does with your hair I would just like to clarify That I told her Why people with cancer cut their hair Because I feel like she should know That cancer does not automatically Equal cutting your hair I wasn't telling her She shouldn't cut it

[00:17:55] [SPEAKER_00] That's her choice But what I was telling her She shouldn't complain about having it done Since she did this of her own free will Regardless, I admitted in several comments That I did not handle it correctly And this was not the best response And I own that 100% But OP did come back in To update the post And says my original post Got a lot more responses Than I thought And had a lot of people Calling my cousin an idiot So I just wanted to give an update Some of you said her head Was not in the right place

[00:18:24] [SPEAKER_00] And some of you also asked About her husband It was a combination of those That turned out to be the truth There being about a week And my cousin called me To come over and talk to her When I got there I immediately apologized For my reaction to her actions And I assured her That I will always support her No matter what And that I was just confused Or in shock And I didn't think before I spoke She started bawling And told me That she felt like She was so stupid For doing what she did She told me that Ever since her cancer diagnosis

[00:18:53] [SPEAKER_00] She feels like She's just been walking around Feeling lost She was so concerned About the repercussions On her family On her daughter That she had all this building On her And then when she was told She was practically in the clear Rather than having the weight Lifted off her shoulders She just kept feeling like She had to Keep looking behind her Waiting for the scary monster To pop back out And that she also has guilt Because she got off easy Her words Not mine Unfortunately She chose to express

[00:19:23] [SPEAKER_00] These feelings to her husband Who convinced her That shaving her head Would help A bunch of bull About how it would help her Feel more in control And would be empowering As I said in some comments Her husband is very much Woe is me So I'm sure him getting a chance To show how he was just Also supportive as a husband Was right up his alley He ultimately was the one That took the video Added the music And posted it on her page In no uncertain terms I told her that her husband Is an idiot Lol

[00:19:52] [SPEAKER_00] And that she should probably Have asked someone else's Opinion first Heck Even a 13 year old Would have talked her Out of shaving her head For goodness sake We spent a long time Looking at pictures Of celebrities Who had shaved their heads And how they styled it As it grew back out To help her And I offered to go Help her get some wigs If she wanted to as well And that regardless She is still beautiful And she can totally Own a bold look I also recommended That she speak to Some profession About what she is feeling She agreed This was a good idea And we'll start looking

[00:20:22] [SPEAKER_00] For someone Ultimately We're in a great place Grumble Cakes Says to OP I'm glad you guys spoke And that she's opened up To you But yikes Does her husband Have some kind of Munchhausen's thing Going on That part sounded Very weird OP says So I tried to post it As part of the update But a mod yelled at me Let's just say He and I had some Choice words about it And he knows Never to pull that Crap again Commenter says Whoa How did he even Try to defend it OP says Lol

[00:20:51] [SPEAKER_00] I don't know If I let him Get a word in But I didn't He just kind of Sputtered And I just Walked away Ipsum says I'm really happy You were able To help her Feel better This is a really Wholesome update Unfortunately Your cousin's Husband acted Like an idiot But your cousin Is still going Through a lot Emotionally And I'm glad You're there To support her While she's Going through it Best of luck To you And your cousin OP says I didn't think To put it all In the original post But through all Of her appointments Except for one or two

[00:21:21] [SPEAKER_00] I was the one That was there Her husband Just always gave The excuse That he Just can't Leave work Like that And assured her He would rather Skip these appointments So that he can Take the time off When she Really needs him As a gaslit wife I can see Where she would Have thought That he was Doing it For her benefit But as third party Is looking in We can see How much of An incomparable Arse it makes him I didn't bring up Her marriage At this point She has enough On her plate I did have some Words within myself Though If I ever see This happening

[00:21:51] [SPEAKER_00] Again I'm intervening On her behalf Otherwise I will wait Until she seems To be doing better And then maybe Suggest she consider Whether this marriage Is beneficial for her And a good model For her daughter Coffee historian Says What a jerk If his wife Didn't need him During her appointments When in the world Would she actually Need him I hope she leaves him And finds someone better Opie says He claimed He would take off When she got sick So he could take care Of her and their daughter While she recovered But she would have known

[00:22:20] [SPEAKER_00] She wasn't going to get sick If he would have just Gone in the first place So he could understand Their treatment plan He did take off The day of And after surgery Since they were Thursday and Friday But He's been at this job For years So I know he's got More than two PTO days And I was also there For both of those days During the hours My kids were at school And he helped sponge Bather And that was pretty much The entirety of his Contribution Now I'm super glad That Opie was able To talk to Cousin And

[00:22:50] [SPEAKER_00] Really talk it out And get to the bottom Of what was going on And Cousin clearly Wasn't in A great place After a diagnosis You know She's dealing with Fear Guilt And The feeling of Waiting for it To come back But what about The fucking husband In this situation Holy moly Instead of You know Encouraging her To get Some professional help Maybe talk to a Professional about it And helping her He suggested this Head shaving thing Filmed it Edited it And posted it

[00:23:19] [SPEAKER_00] To socials While she was Clearly vulnerable And really struggling Mentally with a lot And not thinking straight He went down this path What an absolute Arsehole And I just hope After this That Opie Keeps supporting her And leading her Down the right path And keeping an eye On this guy Because He's something else Right But now I'm gonna turn This one To you guys What do you guys Make of this Situation Maybe you got A different Thought on the matter

[00:23:49] [SPEAKER_00] Let us know Your thoughts down In the comments Below Now just a huge Thank you for being Here today Getting involved In the stories Your love Your support Your time It always means The absolute world To me So thank you So so much For being here And hopefully I'll see you In the next one Take care And much love