My Half-Sister Tried To Show Up TO My Engagement Party In A Wedding Dress r/Relationships

[00:00:01] Hey Waffle Gang, I do hope you're well. My name is Mark and today we're checking out some more Reddit Stories. And if you do love a Reddit Story, why not consider hitting that like, subscribe, maybe that notification bell too. And let's crack on with today's first story. Much love guys. Now today's first story comes from Ov's Not Main who says, My half-sister wanted to show up in a wedding dress to my engagement party. So I changed the party theme so she would fit right in.

[00:00:31] My half-sister, Heather and I never really got along. We are both 24. My father left my mother for her mother and we were born the same month 20 days apart. It's always been weird.

[00:00:45] It doesn't help that Heather's mum hates me and my mum. By extension, Heather and I didn't have the best relationship. She's always tried to one-up me, even though we both have a similar economic background. I can give examples of this but for the sake of the word limit, I won't write them here.

[00:01:03] So now my fiancé and I got engaged last month and had our engagement party this Saturday. We had planned it originally as a casual, formal event. Nice dresses but not, I'm going to the Met Gala ball nice. More like, we're going to a good restaurant nice. Anyway, my cousin hits me up saying, She has to show me something. It was the picture of the dress Heather was going to wear.

[00:01:29] An opiator didn't edit with a picture of the dress but unfortunately the link didn't work anymore but they said, This is what the dress looked like approximately. It was a bit shorter and a bit less puffy. The rest is almost identical. The dress? Jesus Christ, it can only be described as opulent. It was long and white, strapless with sewn crystals and golden accents. I'm pretty sure it's a wedding dress but I can't be 100%.

[00:01:56] This made me really mad. So I decided, fuck that. I started texting people telling them that there had been a change of plans and that instead of casual formal, I decided to make a costume party. My mother's side is crazy for Halloween so they were immediately on board. I told my father via text and asked him to relay the message to Heather and her mother, knowing full well that he would forget or leave it to last minute.

[00:02:23] Saturday comes along and guests start showing up. Most of them in costumes. Some didn't have time to get one. We just provided them with fun hats and cheap wigs. Heather, my dad and her mother come like one hour late. As soon as she notices that everyone was either wearing elaborate costumes or weird accessories and she didn't stand out, she lost it. Especially when my fiancé came along and told her that her bride dress looked amazing for a cheap costume.

[00:02:53] She left crying and her mother and my father told me that I was being childish and I could have told Heather myself and not have tasked my father. For those interested, my fiancé was dressed as Bubbles and I was dressed as Mojo Jojo. Mojo Jojo! My mum and aunts went as ABBA. Other memorable costumes were Luffy and Zorro, Ian Malcolm and John Hammond and Jesus. Edits.

[00:03:22] So why did I invite her? Hopi says it's one of those weird family situations where not inviting them would have been more dramatic. You know when you tried pleasing everyone. Plus, I still wanted a relationship with my father. So not inviting Heather and her mum would have made things super difficult and made it so my father would have had to choose. When I kept thinking of it, I noticed that my father wouldn't have chosen me on this scenario. Which is why I ended up cutting them off.

[00:03:50] Someone said you let her win. Hopi said no. The point of this is to ruin my half-sister's intention. She wasn't just dressed nicely as some of you put it. She wore a wedding dress to my engagement party. I'd much rather subvert this whole mess rather than have her smugly sitting at a table with her wedding dress. Also, some of you are really hung up on the cheap wigs part and ignore literally everything else regarding the party. A minority of our guests wore those cheap wigs.

[00:04:19] Also, it literally doesn't matter. We had a blast. After she left, I didn't even think of her again until a few days later. I don't regret the costume party. I wish I thought of it earlier to be honest. And someone accuses Hopi of karma farming basically which is like a Reddit thing. And Hopi says no, it isn't. I posted this story before and on Am I the Arsehole. I just had to wait two weeks to post on here. Also, I can't believe I have to say this. But the lady on the picture is not Heather.

[00:04:47] It's also not the dress she wore. I looked for a picture that looked approximately like the dress. So Hopi mentioned that they originally posted in the Am I the Arsehole post the same story. And they added some edits in there which gave some additional information. They said, Edits, I didn't think I would have to mention that I have indeed tried to talk to Heather. Her mother and my father a million times about her behavior. It never helps and she just does something more outrageous. All the ways of diplomacy and dialogue have been exhausted.

[00:05:17] And so am I. Lol. Lol. Edit 2. Some people seem to think this is about my wedding. It's an engagement party. Heather wasn't the one to show me what she was going to wear. My cousin did. Also, this is not about Heather wearing a nice dress. Heather was going to wear something that looked suspiciously like a wedding dress. The dress code stated casual formal, not white tie. And for the curious, my fiance dressed as Bubbles and I went as Mojo Jojo. My mom and aunts went to Zabba.

[00:05:47] My cousin was Monkey D. Luffy and his husband was Zoro minus the Katanas. Some relevant comments on this. Great Pop says, I saw your post on Am I the Asshole first. What you did was so petty. I love it. Please tell me you disinvited them to your entire wedding after that though. Opie says, I've officially gone no contact with that side of the family. My father was a spineless slug. Slugs don't have spines anyway, did I?

[00:06:15] I never looked forward to seeing him and I had little love left for him. HDMX says, Opie, I read your Am I the Asshole post. Why'd you have Heather in your life? Keep in mind that, yes, I get that you would like a relationship with your father. That's fine. No judgment from me on that front. As far as your father's wife and his child with her, she might be a half sibling. But you have zero obligation to her in my opinion. I wouldn't keep inviting her anywhere, especially since she tries to outshine you.

[00:06:44] In fact, I remember commenting on your Am I the Asshole post. If your father is insisting that to have a relationship with him, you must have one with his wife and child. Well, there's a choice for you to make. I would not tolerate this disrespect, bullying and abuse by her. She may share a father with you, but she's really gross and I wouldn't have her in my life. So 20 months after that post, Opie comes in again and says, I'd planned countless times to update this post.

[00:07:13] I even asked the mods if it was allowed, but I was too lazy and always stopped halfway through. Lol. Anyway, I keep seeing my post as a motherfucking TikTok. I also saw an account that pretended to have an update. Apparently my husband cheated with my half-sister, my mother exploded and my grandma is a dog. To the update. It was an eventful and thankfully drama-free day. My father was not in attendance. After my engagement party, I realized that he would never choose me willingly.

[00:07:41] Even if he loves me, he doesn't love me enough to stand up for me. He constantly allows his wife and daughter to walk over me and even became abusive. So I wrote him a lengthy email from my old school days email account. It detailed my resentful feelings against him and uninvited him from the wedding. Then I logged out. Because I know myself, I'd be upset with his answer. And if he would not answer, I would also be upset. I also blocked him and his family from all access. And I went cold turkey.

[00:08:12] Freezing even. I changed phone providers and deleted my social media accounts for a while. He did try to contact me through my mother. She said it was just upsetting. So I told her I did not want to know. So I just cut him off. And boy, my life improved drastically. We had an amazing wedding. Unhinged things that happened after the wedding. I got a cease and desist letter from my half-sister. It was very vague and weird. But we quickly found out that it was only a Google copy pasta.

[00:08:41] My stepmother followed me to the supermarket and tried to intimidate me to apologize to Heather. She made the produce wildly uncomfortable. My father tried to pick me up at work. He was walking next to me while I went to my car. He was trying to get me to apologize to Heather and her mom. He said that I should be the bigger person and that I know how both of them are. So I just told him that he must be mistaken because my father is dead. He just stood there as I drove off.

[00:09:09] Then they started to bother the rest of the extended family. Heather and her mom apparently wanted them to cut me off finally. Which backfired spectacularly. Because now they're cut off. Which also means they're excluded from a lot of family events that they were looking forward to. Plus, they can't use my uncle's cabin. So Heather's mom had allegedly been at her sister's since the whole breakdown. I have to be honest. I don't know how much of this is true. As you know, the toxic gossip train

[00:09:37] always has to be taken with a grain of salt. I don't know, but I think it's funny. A sad thing is that I don't even miss my father. His absence has made zero negative effect on my life. We did have one more costume party around Halloween, but this time we gave everyone more time and it was even more fun. My mom's side of the family all pitched in. We got a venue and invited a bunch of people. I recommend this totally. I met so many of my cousin's friends who I've kept in touch with.

[00:10:06] Nothing else changed. I still have my old job. I'm not pregnant. We have the same old apartment. We did redecorate though. So that is all from me. Not all too dramatic. Someone says, what was the fake cease and desist for? Stop holding costume parties. Opie says for disruptive behavior. I found the template she used and everything. Brown-eyed girl says, just curious. How is your mom with your father and all this? Is she remarried?

[00:10:33] Hopefully she did better after the trash took itself out. Opie says she has a long time partner and he is lovely. Damn, that is stone cold. But now I'm going to turn this one to you guys. What do you guys make of this situation? Let us know your thoughts down in the comments below. Let's move on to another story from the bridezilla's subreddit. From Schmeg the egg who says, I, maid of honor,

[00:11:02] just found out the bride talks shit behind my back the entire wedding day. But still had me plan and pay for everything. I was asked to be maid of honor by a friend of mine who I've had a rocky past with. She doesn't really have anyone close in her life that lasts longer than a few years. And she also changes jobs every few months because she is high conflict and causes drama constantly. She thrives off of it. In hindsight, I should have said no.

[00:11:32] Especially knowing this was her and the groom's third engagement. So, off and on. But I agreed and took everything so seriously. Bridezilla was an understatement. She changed the members of the bridal party five times. So I constantly had to track down new people. Her bridal shower had to be this one specific country club that was expensive. She changed the date of the actual wedding and forgot to tell me for months. And it was on a Friday.

[00:12:02] So I had to request off work. Nothing I bought was good enough. And she always requested more, more, more. She changed my dress color after I bought it. She also just stopped talking to me unless it was about the wedding. And had no idea what was going on in my personal life. I paid for just about everything because the people she kept inviting in the bridal party were younger than us. Early twenties. I'm 27, bride is 33, and have no stable income.

[00:12:31] I have a good job and am smart with my money. But even for me, it was really difficult. I'm talking about $6,000 on this damn wedding as maid of honor. And I'm trying to plan my own soon too. Well, the day of the wedding comes. I make sure she has a bunch of custom gifts. A day off bag. My speech was beautiful, etc. But she was so rude to me the entire day. She has a new BFF. She met about four months before the wedding and they are attached at the hip.

[00:13:00] And all she wanted to do was talk to her. But whatever. I was super busy handling everything. So, I just try to ignore it. Wedding comes and goes. She leaves to go to the after party with her new BFF. And I stay behind to clean up the entire venue with the help of my boyfriend after. And we go home. Well, I get a call today from her cousin. Who was also in the wedding party. Who I really bonded with over this awful experience. She told me that she didn't want to say anything to me.

[00:13:27] But she thinks I deserve to know because I'm already buying Christmas gifts for the bride and her kids. Her cousin tells me that every time I left the bridal suite the day of the wedding, the bride would announce to everyone in the room that she couldn't stand me. I wish she weren't even here. I'm so fucking annoying. She also has a separate group chat where her sisters and cousins continue to talk shit about me there. Mind you, she just sent me a Christmas list for her kids last week. Everything is already bought and wrapped. I feel so hurt.

[00:13:57] And so used. And honestly, really stupid. I just blocked her on everything. I don't want to even message her because I know she has somehow twisted around and make it my fault. ETA, I'm seeing a lot of comments saying this is on me for missing and ignoring red flags. And I 100% agree. I should have gone more into the backstory, but it's super complicated and long. So I left it out. I used to be the stepmother of her oldest son. So her ex is also my ex.

[00:14:26] And he's a huge piece of shit. But that's a story for another day. And I'm extremely bonded to the kiddo. I was in his life from nine months old. And she's allowed me to be a part of his life for the past four plus years. Even after I left the relationship. He's seven now. So a huge part of me feels this immense, incredible debt to her. And I will always appreciate her for keeping me in her son's life. She didn't have to do that. But as my friend. Kids aside,

[00:14:54] she's incredibly selfish and toxic. And I should have made better boundaries and kept my guard up. But wow, that's easier said than done when kids are involved. ETA too, I also meant that I spent $6,000 on the bridal shower, bachelorette and gifts, et cetera. I did not pay for the actual wedding venue itself. But $6,000 on my own money, still for wedding related things. ETA three, I appreciate everyone's advice. I was more or less venting on this post.

[00:15:23] I know I'm not blameless in this. And definitely let it drag on too long. Because I was and am scared that once I upset Bridezilla, I lose access to being a part of her children's lives. However, I agree that it's not healthy for me to continue to be in contact with her. And the children are better off not seeing me being used as a doormat by their mother. I blocked her number and do not plan on interacting with her ever again. Time to move on and focus on my own healing for once.

[00:15:51] And you can imagine what the comments were like on this one. They were pretty much all just saying, drop this friendship now. It's toxic. You need to leave it, et cetera. But seven weeks later, OP came in with her update and it said, Hi everyone. This post definitely blew up more than I was expecting. So I wanted to give a quick update. After this happened, a few things that some of you said to me really stuck with me.

[00:16:17] I was looking at all of this from the perspective of not wanting to lose access to the children of the bride who I love deeply. But I was not realizing that by allowing their mother to treat me poorly, that I was modeling for the kids how to treat their own loved ones. That really was a light bulb moment for me. And I realized I needed to cut ties. I initially told her that I needed space from her because of the way she has treated me as a friend, which she did not take well.

[00:16:44] And I had to block her number and delete her off social media to stop her from berating me with texts. Once I did that, it was insane how much better I felt. I truly didn't realize how much time and energy she took out of me every single day. I felt like a literal weight was lifted off my chest and I wasn't filled with anxiety about whatever drama she'd constantly call or text me about. I had no idea how much she had slowly taken from me across the course of our friendship.

[00:17:13] It was like being free of an emotional vampire. However, despite feeling so much better, I still felt that I needed closure regarding the kids, who I do love and miss. I needed to know in my heart that I did everything I could for them to know none of this is their fault. I decided to drop off the presents I had already bought at the front doorstep and left a note letting her know that I was informed she spoke poorly about me in front of her children during her wedding day

[00:17:41] and that I simply cannot accept that disrespect anymore. It was very short and sweet. And I didn't go into much more detail than that. I also told her I had no interest in reigniting any type of friendship, that this was my closure and I do not want her to contact me further. Apparently, she immediately took to social media and began making dozens of posts and TikTok videos denying everything, as well as involving the kids in the videos. So sad.

[00:18:11] Trash talking me and calling me a narcissist, which is laughable honestly, as it's a go-to insult for anyone who wrongs her. I had friends send me a few in disbelief and while I appreciated being informed, I asked them not to send me any more because I don't really care and I don't want to give her the satisfaction of knowing I saw any of them. Honestly, I just feel so bad for the kids and I feel nothing but pity for their mother.

[00:18:37] How sad to be 33 years old and instead of spending time on Christmas morning with your children, you're making TikTok videos to try and upset me and failing at it, at that. Anyway, that's my update. I'm glad to finally put all of this behind me. I really feel like I've closed the chapter of such a chaotic and drama-filled portion of my life. If any of you are dealing with a person like this in your lives, get out.

[00:19:05] Life is so much better without the minute to drag you down. I promise you. And of course, there was the usual, you know, doormat, all this kind of stuff going on in the comments and, you know, some people saying that she still got what she wanted by, you know, taking those gifts round to her, etc. And the mum probably took the gifts and said that she bought them, etc, etc. But I think the story is a good example of, you know, how people can twist your mindset

[00:19:35] and almost like hold you hostage and manipulative people are good at doing so, especially when they're weaponizing their children as well, which is just fucking awful. And of course, you're absolutely doing the right thing in this and in showing healthy boundaries when someone's treating you like shit and that it's okay to walk away. Hopefully one day in the future, the children will realize what happened in the background and, you know, you may be able to reconnect in some way.

[00:20:04] Maybe not. Who knows? But at this moment in time, you need to do what's good for you and that's staying away from that absolutely vile person. Whatever happens going forward, make sure to lean on support around you, genuine people that love and support you, not take advantage and take the piss. And I really do wish you all the best with your wedding going forward. But now I'm going to turn this one to you guys. What do you guys make of this situation?

[00:20:34] Let us know your thoughts down in the comments below. And just a huge thank you for being here today, getting involved in the stories, your love, your support, your time. It always means the absolute world to me. So thank you so, so much. And hopefully I'll see you in the next one. Take care and much love.