My Girlfriend Gave A RANDOM GUY Her Phone Number Right In Front Of Me r/Relationships

[00:00:03] Hey Waffle Gang, I do hope you are well. My name is Mark and today we're checking out some more Reddit stories and if you do love a Reddit story why not consider hitting that like subscribe maybe that notification bell too and let's crack on with today's first

[00:00:18] story. Much love guys. Now today's first story comes from a throwaway account from the Relationship Advice subreddit and says Girlfriend gave random guy her number right in front of me. Did I overreact? Me and my girlfriend have been together for almost 2 years. We are

[00:00:35] late 20s. Today we were getting coffee. She has a dog and brought her there with us. This place was busy with all kinds of people and families around. I left for a minute to get

[00:00:46] a drink and when I came back she was talking to some guy while he was petting the dog. I didn't think anything of it at first because people come up and pet and talk about our

[00:00:55] dog until they took their phones out. I got a little uncomfortable and she seemed a little uncomfortable as well. When I asked her what that was about and who was that she waited

[00:01:06] till he left to talk. She said that was weird and I asked why did she give him her number and if she said she had a boyfriend. She did not tell him she had a boyfriend and later

[00:01:17] she felt bad for not. We talked and she said she was confused and flustered and would never meet up with him and promised to do better and would block him. I couldn't help but

[00:01:27] think the worst and wonder if this was the first time to happen and what would have happened if I wasn't there or what happens when she goes out. I later confronted her when we left

[00:01:37] and went home. Admittedly upset about the situation and asked her why I shouldn't just leave and if she wants to be with me or not. Her defense being she was tired and was not expecting someone to ask her number there or thought he was just being nice.

[00:01:52] We later talk it out and I come to see a perspective that maybe it's sometimes hard to say no to a man hitting on you and later apologize for being so upset. But a part of me feels like

[00:02:03] it's not like you were in a dark alley alone at night. How hard was it to say the guy sitting across from you, me, is your boyfriend and tell him no? We later kinda made up and watched a movie but now she's upset about how I reacted to

[00:02:18] the situation saying I've never seen this side of you. The way I reacted worried her and wants to talk more. I guess I'd like some outside perspective. Did I overreact? Is what she did acceptable or is it some grey area? Thank you for reading and advice.

[00:02:37] So as always we have some comments with replies from the OP so the first commenter said What she did was extremely disrespectful. I imagine that if roles were reversed and you had exchanged numbers with some random woman, your girlfriend would be losing her mind.

[00:02:53] And then quotes OP saying she's upset about how I reacted to the situation saying I've never seen this side of you then says don't let your girlfriend manipulate you.

[00:03:02] What she did was extremely messed up and you had every right to react the way she did. Again if you had swapped numbers with a stranger she probably would have broken up with you already.

[00:03:12] OP responds to it saying thank you for your response. You pretty much summed up my feelings.

[00:03:17] As far as my response initially, I was not upset but thought it was weird. But as I was driving home I got very upset and once we got out of the car I yelled but not like at the top of my lungs what were you thinking?

[00:03:29] And immediately turned around to take a break and call a friend. We spoke later when I calmed down a bit but that was the extent of what made her upset.

[00:03:38] Was my initial angry question. She later confessed this morning crying that she was scared that I was going to hurt her.

[00:03:45] I was honestly offended and asked her if she really thinks I would hit her. Of course I would never. I've never been in a fight. I avoid conflict let alone hit a woman for this.

[00:03:55] To be clear she gave him her number apparently and he did not give her his. She also said he was fat and old but that's debatable. He did not look that old or fat to me.

[00:04:06] Their conversation revolved around the dog and she claims she did not think it was flirting until the very end when he asked her to get lunch and for her number.

[00:04:14] Which is where she later admitted she messed up and apologized. But I have been noticing this trend where I'm usually confused after an argument as to how I'm always apologizing and compromising.

[00:04:25] Which is an issue for a later discussion. I'm trying to see her side of things and make things work. She has never given me a reason she may be cheating prior.

[00:04:34] She is an anxious person but I wouldn't go as far as saying she's a people pleaser. I also asked her how she would feel and react and she said she probably would do the same and feel upset also.

[00:04:45] She has suggested couple therapy which I might try but will also just take note of this incident and hope it was just some weird one off and told her I need time.

[00:04:55] I appreciate everyone's replies and I'm sorry I can't respond to you all but hope this gives more insight.

[00:05:02] Tuna Fart says, what a name. Why do guys fall for this Jedi mind trick bullshit? She has nothing to apologize for and now she owes you an apology again for pretending otherwise. She gave another dude her number right in front of you. That's a massive show of disrespect.

[00:05:19] Opie says not sure how to make updates but we have been talking more today and decided I'm going to stay at my parents place for a few days.

[00:05:28] I told her I want to believe her that it was just a one time mistake but it's hard for me and it may take time for me to fully trust her again.

[00:05:35] I asked her if I can depend on her to stand up for herself in our relationship next time this happens and she said yes.

[00:05:42] She tells me she wants to be with me and only me forever. She admitted what she did was wrong and wished she could change the way she handled things.

[00:05:51] We kind of went in circles for a bit and I think we both got exhausted and she broke down crying saying she can't believe I'm possibly going to end everything we worked so hard for. She also

[00:06:01] mentioned that me having the possible constant worry of this happening again gives her anxiety and basically won't work if that's the case. Thanks all for taking the time to read my post. Opie comes in again with more information and says we are exclusive and have been for almost

[00:06:17] two years. We talked about boundaries like dancing and flirting and I was clear about having no tolerance for intimate dancing or grinding and flirting would make me upset and question our relationship. I admit we have not specifically talked about handing out phone

[00:06:31] numbers to strangers but in my mind that's worse than flirting. We also talk about the future a lot like kids and marriage and are on the same page. Tyran says she didn't tell him she had a boyfriend.

[00:06:43] What did they chat about? Was it the dog or was that an assumption? So she immediately deleted his number when he left right because she isn't going to be using it. Not that she has to but

[00:06:53] because she wants to delete it. Why is she upset afterwards? She likes being hit on and doesn't want that to stop. Opie says she did not tell him she had a boyfriend. They talked about dogs from

[00:07:04] what I was told until he asked about getting lunch after the dog park and getting her number. I was staying at my parents house now and she just texted me that he texted her and she blocked him.

[00:07:14] She gave him her number only. From my understanding she was upset about my initial reaction as it surprised her. I was not visibly upset at the coffee place but later got very upset once we

[00:07:25] got home. Photo guy says did she share with you the content of his text? Opie says no. She just said he texted her and she blocked him. She then said goodnight and thanked me for being okay with taking

[00:07:37] some space. There was a lot of talk of Davo which if you're new here means deny, attack and reverse victim and offender and talk of gaslighting in the comments as well but around 5 days later Opie

[00:07:51] comes in with her update and says I mentioned this in the comment on the original post but when she talked to me about how I reacted the next morning she told me she was afraid of me and thought I

[00:08:01] would physically hurt her and wanted me to promise I would never hurt her physically. I said that's ridiculous I would never hurt you and am offended you would think so. To clarify the moment she is

[00:08:12] referring to is when we got home out in the parking lot I raised my voice what were you thinking then went back to my car and drove off because I needed a break before we talked about it. I phoned a

[00:08:23] friend and then came back. At no point did I ever hit anything or touch her nor have I ever in the past. I'll admit I've never raised my voice in any of our previous arguments. Anyways after trying

[00:08:36] to talk about it a few more times we find our discussion running in circles and she says she needs space and wanted to stay in a hotel. I said I'd just stay at my parents place a few nights

[00:08:47] after spending a few nights apart we got together Tuesday to talk again. I asked her what's been on her mind and she says she's sorry for what she did and had no idea this was going to be so

[00:08:58] triggering for me and promised to never do it again. I got a bit defensive and basically said you were wrong and I did not overreact. I told her my biggest issue was her believing

[00:09:09] I would ever hurt her and if she truly believed I would. She said in that moment yes. We basically picked our heels to die on where she believed I overreacted and I believed my reaction was

[00:09:20] justified. Then I just said what do we do now should we call it? She said I don't know and started crying and said she couldn't talk anymore and she didn't imagine this is how the conversation

[00:09:33] would go. I can't imagine being with somebody who was scared of me and where I overreacted let alone build the trust again. I figured it's best to call it. I wished her best of luck and said it was

[00:09:44] great while it lasted. I reached out for a good time to grab my things and she said I could come by today. She also wanted to talk to me again for some closure and try and end on a better note.

[00:09:55] I started off by apologizing for raising my voice and that I would never physically hurt her. She said I know you wouldn't. I was just surprised. She also said the time we had together was great

[00:10:06] and enjoyed it. She said she never imagined it ending so suddenly like this. We were both pretty teary. I asked her if she still wants to do this and she said yeah it's too late the damage was

[00:10:18] done. I said okay and started packing my things. It was awkward gathering my things with her father he had flown in from the hometown. They were eating dinner and laughing and seemed to be

[00:10:29] having a great time which left me admittedly a bit bitter in the moment. I get all my things and say goodbye and she asks for a hug and I hesitate but said okay. We hugged and said goodbye.

[00:10:41] My heart hurts and maybe I made the wrong decision and should have did couples counseling first. But also her saying she knew I wouldn't hurt her today made me feel like what you were all

[00:10:52] saying was true and I made the right choice. Thank you all for the advice. Couple of the comments from the top on the update. Anytime says girly played you and became the victim in the scenario. Maxaddy says she was disrespectful and

[00:11:08] she refused to do that and instead turned it around on you. Nah nope nope. Onwards and upwards. Empire of Azad says this I'm so sorry you were triggered is no apology at all.

[00:11:21] Admirable Ad said she's going to try out the guy she gave her number to and if that fails she'll come back. She's not broken up because she got a spare ready. You did good your next

[00:11:31] update will be when she was dumped. Avast says that business of her claiming to be terrified of you in the moment is textbook blame shifting. Anything to make her not be the villain in her

[00:11:42] story. There's frankly nothing wrong with yelling what the fuck were you thinking at her after watching her give her number to another guy right in front of your face but this way she can make

[00:11:53] you the bad guy in the breakup. Cheating isn't nearly as bad as being angry about being cheated on. Slash sarcasm. She is right that it's too late. The damage is already done but it was done by her. All of it. First by being disloyal then by being dishonest.

[00:12:10] Now I'm going to turn this one to you guys. What do you guys make of this situation? Let me know your thoughts down in the comments below and let's move on to another story from gutturalmoose from the relationship advice subreddit and says

[00:12:26] My wife just walked out on me with zero explanation and I'm lost. I'm equal parts broken and absolutely destroyed. My wife of about a year together for 6 just walked out the door on

[00:12:39] me. I've noticed for the past few days she's been really distant and not really responding when I said love you. I asked about the last night and she kinda threw it back at me and said she was

[00:12:51] stressed with facets of life. She works a ton like several days on end and burns herself out. But this was different. It came to a point last night that I was asking her what she was thinking,

[00:13:05] further telling her we're a team and I want us to be able to communicate how we are feeling. She just said she's always been more closed off with her emotions but I could tell this was

[00:13:14] different. She just shrugged and went off to bed. I stayed up just feeling bad for myself, never expecting the next day. The next morning I got up and she'd already went to work. No morning

[00:13:26] texts, no notes or anything explaining last night. I knew something wasn't right. When she finally got home she had a shower and then sat down and said she needed to leave. She said she's felt

[00:13:38] distant for months and in the past she never had long relationships. I told her this is different, we're married and I'm her partner in life. Then the brother-in-law showed up. I already knew she

[00:13:51] had planned this so I told her to just pack her things and left the situation. She said we'd talk again but left it at that. I asked her if she'd be willing to see a couples counselor or anything

[00:14:02] to make this work. She said no but she's not sure. The worst part is she said I love her too much basically and she feels she cannot reciprocate it back. Fuck I'm broken over here. I want to try and

[00:14:15] I want to keep the love of my life. I feel she's just over it. Random context and thoughts. She told me she's been seeing a therapist about why she's been so unhappy, hence why I offered couples

[00:14:28] counseling. She left the house and her wedding band and engagement rings were already off. She loves those rings. I mentioned it and said what did I expect her to do? We're planning our second honeymoon, like several weeks and several thousand dollars. Everyone is blindsided by this

[00:14:45] that I've talked to. Now this is one of those stories that could go all sorts of different directions. I feel so bad for OP. Together for 6, married for 1 and then for her to just come

[00:14:59] home one day although there was a couple of signs a few days before that she wasn't happy but to just come home and say that she's leaving. I can't imagine what you're going through in that

[00:15:10] moment. So many questions, so much hurt, so much pain and no answers to any of it because she just sodded off out the door. I was initially thinking is it something that's all to do with mental

[00:15:21] health but it doesn't feel that way either. But mean old hag says I hope this isn't the case but it sounds like she has someone else. They make dumb and slash all no excuses and act withdrawn

[00:15:31] before they decide to be with someone else. OP says I keep seeing that but I honestly have never pinned her as that type, especially being around the girls at her work. They're all married and

[00:15:42] engaged so it's not like a bunch of singles pressuring her to branch out. I don't know what to do. Taserhawk says I'm truly sorry but she told you that you loved her in a way she can't

[00:15:53] reciprocate. Why would she marry you then? I think she's a flake and you deserve someone who is all in. Maybe this is a blessing, better today than 10 years later and with children as well.

[00:16:07] OP says I don't fucking know. That's the most painful part. Like it hasn't even been a year and she's saying she's changed. Scarybutterscotch says that you were together for 5 years prior to the wedding. Sometimes people think that there is something missing from the relationship so

[00:16:24] getting married will fix it. That doesn't work so they think having a baby will fix it. Thank your lucky stars that she did not try to fix your relationship with a baby. So around 9 days later

[00:16:37] OP comes in with her update and says we have talked a couple of times now. Each time I'm trying to give her time to speak to me but it still doesn't make any sense. We cry, she says she

[00:16:47] still cares but can't be with me. I fall eternally deeper in despair. She said even before the wedding she felt like things were off and instead of talking to me she just put it aside and figured

[00:16:59] things would get better on their own. I'm still asking what did I do and get the you were nothing but amazing and it wasn't my fault. Then she hit me yesterday with the when are we selling the

[00:17:10] house talk. She says she cannot move back in, I offer to just sleep in the basement and needs to find a place ASAP. Am I insane to think this is going way too fast? It's barely been over a week

[00:17:23] and I've had no time to grieve, to heal, to learn how to do this on my own again. I've been even worse since she dropped that news. She also offered to cover my half of the mortgage because

[00:17:35] I've not been to work since she left me. Then today she hits me with the actually she has missed no work. Fuck, I don't even think she's missing sleep. I was really hoping for something,

[00:17:48] anything to give me hope for the future but like all I see is a void these days. I always made it our future but without her I don't know what to do. Tomorrow I'll at least have my first therapist

[00:18:00] appointment, I hope it helps. The worst is what's the lesson from all of this? Don't rely on or love anyone ever again? Please go home tonight and tell your spouse you love them and give them

[00:18:12] a hug like you never want to let go. 2 of the top comments from this one, Kathy Plus Twin says get yourself back to work and busy. Gym, spend time with friends,

[00:18:23] work, fill up your days so your mind has less time to wallow. Go see a therapist to help you work through this. Finally, you should at least consult with a divorce lawyer so you're protecting

[00:18:33] yourself. Glinda the witch says it feels like it's happening fast because for you it is. She's been contemplating this for some time and has come to terms with her decision. She made her decision without talking to you or giving you the opportunity to discuss the situation.

[00:18:49] It is entirely possible that she's been feeling this way since before the wedding and she may have hoped it would work itself out as she says. The pressure of a wedding or cancelling a wedding is significant. If she no longer has the same

[00:19:02] feeling for you that she once did there probably isn't much you can say to change her mind. I'm sorry you're going through this, she should have been honest with you before the wedding. Tell the house and move on.

[00:19:41] Many people like going down, yeah she's definitely got someone else, she's cheating etc. But you know marriages fall apart for a whole bunch of different reasons, people change etc. But what really got to me is there's nothing, there's sort of like no closure for OP in this.

[00:19:57] You know this is his wife and she's not willing to discuss anything about it. Like OP said it's just incredibly fast. It's gone from being a bit off to breaking up to when are we selling the house

[00:20:09] because she needs to find somewhere ASAP. You know it sounds like this has been going on for quite some time, surely you know with her plan of doing this she should have factored that in.

[00:20:19] It all just feels incredibly cruel to me but what do you guys make of this situation? Let us know your thoughts down in the comments below. Now just a huge thank you from the bottom of my heart for getting involved in today's stories.

[00:20:33] Your love, your support, your time always means the absolute world to me so thank you so so much and hopefully I'll see you in the next one. Take care and much love.