My Friends Boyfriend Has Become WEIRDLY Obsessed With My Life r/Relationships

[00:00:01] Hey Waffle Gang, I do hope you're well. My name is Mark and today we're checking out some more Reddit Stories. And if you do love a Reddit Story, why not consider hitting that like, subscribe, maybe that notification bell too. And let's crack on with today's first story. Much love guys.

[00:00:19] Now today's first story comes from Smells Like Ocean from the Am I Wrong subreddit. And it says, My friend's boyfriend is weirdly invested in my life. My 19 female friend's 18 female boyfriend is weirdly invested in my life.

[00:00:38] I 19 female would like to start off by saying that I'm in my own relationship. And although the title sounds weird, I just can't tell if I'm going crazy or not, since everyone in my life has acted as if this situation is completely normal. A couple of months ago, before I was in a relationship, I was on a dating app and would mainly use it unseriously with my friends, mainly because I would never find anything substantial in them.

[00:01:05] I ended up matching with this guy, 19 male, let's call him Dave, who only used Instagram to talk to people. And therefore, I ended up giving him my Instagram. I specifically remember talking to my friend, 18 female, let's call her Leah, about Dave. My Instagram is full of pictures of me and my friends. I ended up ghosting Dave due to some personal issues I was going through and some mannerisms I caught onto that I didn't like. He was low-key aggressive and I continued to post on my Instagram.

[00:01:35] Months later, my friend Leah comes up to me and tells me about this guy she matched up with on a dating app. Surprise, surprise, it's Dave. Leah starts saying that she understands why it wouldn't work out with me and Dave because we have nothing in common and that she's really excited for her date with Dave. I was also excited for her at first. She went on her first date with him. Things were going very well. On the second date, Dave tells Leah that he wants to meet her friends.

[00:02:04] He was so pushy about meeting her friends that he said he would plan the whole thing. I told Leah that I definitely did not have to meet Dave until they're more settled into the relationship and that I wouldn't take offense to not being invited. Leah told me that she wanted me to go and that all she felt she needed to do was to tell Dave that I would be at this meeting the friends date.

[00:02:25] On Leah's third date with Dave, she asks him who his celebrity crush is and Dave responds with a popular actress of my ethnicity and then continues to express how women of my ethnicity are his type. Leah has a very different ethnicity to me and Dave was well aware of this. She finally musters up the courage to tell him that she is friends with me and when she does tell him, Oh, I know. Do you know why she ghosted me?

[00:02:52] He then proceeded to tell her that he would bring a friend and turn his next date into a double date for us. I go to the double date. Surprise, surprise. His friend doesn't show up because he's too afraid of women. Then we go through the date with Dave and Leah heavily making out everywhere we went to the point where I just continued to get secondhand embarrassment.

[00:03:15] I then realized that my ex-boyfriend worked at one of the stores nearby and since I was on good terms with him, I decided to stop by and say hi to him. Again, this is before me and my current boyfriend got into a relationship. Leah and Dave show up and Dave asked my ex if he wanted to join us and so he did. It was a pretty awkward setup since Leah and Dave continued to heavily make out at the restaurant we went to,

[00:03:41] but thankfully I was able to get through it without dying of boredom. A couple of weeks go by and this is when I start dating my boyfriend. We made it official before Leah and Dave did and when he finally asked Leah to be his girlfriend, he sort of did it through text. Leah then tells me they'd gone on a date in the same mall we had gone on our double date and that Dave had gone back into the store my ex worked at to see if he could find him.

[00:04:08] Leah tried to play it off as a really cute thing because apparently Dave doesn't have a lot of friends since he just transferred to this college and she believes he's just trying to make friends his own age. I don't find it as endearing since my ex was visibly uncomfortable with Dave throughout the dinner and barely talked to him. A couple of months later, my boyfriend and I start to have issues. I confided in Leah and she wasn't really helpful since all she talked about was how Dave would never do that to her.

[00:04:37] She also brought up the fact that she had a co-worker who was looking for a girlfriend and that she showed him my Instagram and he seemed interested. Leah then started talking about how her co-worker is actually one of Dave's new friends and how they're getting along well. Leah then puts Dave on the phone and he proceeds to tell me that I should break up with my boyfriend. Weird. Dave has never met my boyfriend. Dave also said that I should get myself a man of his ethnicity.

[00:05:04] Leah then admits to me that Dave has been continuously asking her for updates on how my relationship with my boyfriend is going and if we have broken up yet. A couple of days later, I got a follow request from Leah's co-worker. I asked her if she had told him to follow me. She says Dave was the one who told him to follow me and that Leah's co-worker would treat me better. Dave just met Leah's co-worker. He doesn't even know him that well.

[00:05:31] A couple of hours later, Dave requested to follow me on his alternate account. I don't know what else to do or say. Leah, my boyfriend, nor my friend seems to be at all upset about this behavior or at least not at the level I'm upset. My friends have said that it is very odd and seem to think he's weirdly involved in my life as my friend's boyfriend. Is this not weird? Am I wrong for being upset? Hell no, you need to block this dude and stay away from him instantly.

[00:06:00] This is stalker behavior. And Leah is either totally naive about this situation or enabling it. And the fact that he's using her to track your relationship status, get access to your social media and trying to set you up with his friends while dating her is really worrying. And I don't know if this is just the Reddit in me talking, but I've seen one too many stories and I've seen how quickly this can become dangerous after someone's been rejected like that. The fact that he's, you know, he's dating your friend.

[00:06:29] And I refuse to believe that's just the algorithms that set them up like that. He's actively tracked this down. And it's, so I would be taking this seriously if I was you. The first commenter says to OP, stay away, block him out of your life and don't share much with your friend Leah. Make new friends. This is really important because it's got to have a support system. I would also ask your ex what he thinks about Dave and what they talked about and tell him you'd rather they don't talk about you because you're unsure of Dave.

[00:06:57] It is definitely weird behavior. Also, it doesn't matter what they all think. If it feels weird to you, then move with that till your feelings are proved otherwise. OP says, have my own friends and I think I'll be making space between Leah and I. For this and other reasons as well. Thank you for your advice. Two, thankfully my ex wasn't working the day Dave went in to look for him. I asked what they talked about when Leah and I went to the bathroom. He said they briefly talked about football.

[00:07:27] And that he felt a little uncomfortable with how overly friendly he was with him. She's in my current relationship. I don't think it's a good idea to be talking to my ex. But if the situation somehow escalates, I may reach out to him. Another commenter says, Leah doesn't think it's an issue that her boyfriend's type is the opposite of what she is. Oh my gosh. I know she's young, but yeesh. OP says she just clinged on to the fact that people tell us we look alike.

[00:07:54] So therefore she thinks she looks enough like the people of my ethnicity to pass or for it to be okay. Also, Dave tried to backpedal and said that he didn't think I was of that ethnicity. But somehow she did. And yet we look alike. I don't know. It's all really weird. Because in my opinion, it's gaslighting. But I don't know. Another commenter says, Dave is going to try to become your boyfriend's best buddy. You need to take this more seriously. This guy is showing classic stalker, nice guy behavior.

[00:08:25] Consider making your socials all private for a year or two. Because yes, it'll take that long. Don't let your friends know if you'll be alone anywhere. If Dave might find out. Tell your parents or other people outside the friend group and never go anywhere Dave is. If he's there, leave. Don't be nice about it. He's taking advantage of everybody wanting to be nice. Nope. He's dangerous. Opie says, All of my socials are private. And I removed him from my followers. I told my family.

[00:08:54] Although they too think I'm overreacting. I talked to Leah and she told me that she really wanted to go on a trip with all four of us. I brought up the fact that Dave doesn't seem to like my boyfriend. That's a way to get out of it. And Leah just said, Oh, Dave will play nice during the trip. So I can definitely see where you're coming from. So Opie came in with their update. They started with a TLDR of the other post, which we just read. So skip that bit. And it says, Thank you so much for all the support you gave me on my original post.

[00:09:23] I just wanted to update you all on development since then. My boyfriend and I made up. And I updated him on the situation with Leah, Dave and Leah's co-worker. At first, my boyfriend seemed unfazed. But the more time passed, the more it seemed to bother him. Leah came over the night I uploaded the original post. And the first thing she said was, So what happened with your boyfriend? Everyone is dying to know. And by everyone, I mean Dave and my co-worker. With a huge smile on her face.

[00:09:52] I pointed out the fact that it was odd they wanted to know so badly. Leah simply brushed it off and said that her co-worker actually wanted to apologize to me. Leah said that supposedly Dave made it sound like my relationship was done for. Which is why her co-worker requested me. As for Dave, he just continues to ask Leah if I've broken up with him yet. Leah continued to express her disappointment with some comments Dave has started to make about her size. She specifically talked about how she had wanted to get some dessert.

[00:10:22] But he had refused to get anything. And then asked Leah, Do you get desserts with your friends every time you go out with them? Then Leah alluded to him fat shaming her friends. Specifically me. And one of her other friends. A day or so later, Leah calls me and tells me Dave has once again asked her if I'd broken up with my boyfriend yet. We continued talking and she says that unfortunately she doesn't think we can go on that trip. She's been wanting to go on with all four of us.

[00:10:49] Although I'd already decided I wouldn't go anywhere if Dave were present. Curiosity got the better of me. And I asked what changed her mind. She said, If Dave was in the same room as your boyfriend, I think he would physically fight him. She was being dead serious. My boyfriend got into a pretty run-of-the-mill argument. He didn't cheat or lie or steal or hit. It was a simple disagreement. Therefore, I don't think getting physical with my boyfriend is at all warranted.

[00:11:16] Especially considering the fact that this rage is coming from my friend's boyfriend, who I originally turned down and barely know. The day after this phone call, my boyfriend brought Dave up and asked if he had done anything else. I informed him that I seemed genuinely concerned for Leah. He said that I should genuinely consider intervening as things have seemingly gotten worse. I made efforts to intervene when this relationship between Dave and Leah was fresh. However, Leah simply accused me of jealousy.

[00:11:44] If I'd been single at the time, I would have bitten my tongue and taken the harsh accusation. However, by the time she made the accusation, I was in a relationship with my current boyfriend. Therefore, the accusation truly upset me. Specifically because it was an insult to my boyfriend and our relationship. After reading so many of your comments, which I greatly appreciate, I think I've decided to make some space between me and Leah. Am I wrong for this? Should I try harder to intervene?

[00:12:12] And we just covered a top comment from this one with OP's reply that said, Sorry OP, but it's time to ghost Leah as well. Dave is stalking you and she's enabling it. I don't know why she doesn't see what's going on here. Lack of respect? Insecure? But she's feeding him info about you, so she's just as bad at this point. Keep them both at a very far distance. Has no one else pointed out to Leah that Dave is only with her because of you? OP says no. That's why I feel like I'm the one that's crazy.

[00:12:43] Leah has two other friends. I'm close with one of them, but not really the other, that she constantly talks to. According to her, she told them both the whole story and they both didn't see anything wrong with Dave or his actions. I genuinely thought that she was lying to me about telling them the whole truth. But after talking to one of them, one that I'm not as close to, I realized that she did in fact know the whole story and she still believes Dave is a perfectly fine guy.

[00:13:09] There are other issues Dave has that I haven't necessarily mentioned because they're not relevant to this specific story. But even if you cut me off and all the weird interactions Dave has had with me, he's still not a good guy to get in a relationship in my opinion. Non-violent crime level type stuff. I just don't understand why everyone is so chill with it. Which is why I felt like I was the problem. And I think that that comment is absolutely right, that Leah is enabling this behavior

[00:13:37] and it's hugely concerning behavior. And you certainly just need to step back and just be out of these people's lives because after so many stories I've covered, that's an increasingly dangerous situation. And look, don't get me wrong. There is concerns for Leah at the same time as well. She's being isolated by him, like undermining her self-esteem and is being used to get to OP.

[00:14:05] But I think at this moment in time that your safety is paramount. But now I'm going to turn this one to you guys. What do you guys make of this situation? Let us know your thoughts down in the comments below and let's move on to another story. But now we're going to move on to the Am I the Asshole subreddit from Dre Gorgren who says, Am I the Asshole for refusing to give up my front row spot at a concert to someone claiming

[00:14:34] to be disabled? A couple of weeks ago, I traveled to another country to see an artist I've been a fan of for six years. This was a once in a lifetime experience for me and I've been waiting months for it. I sacrificed a lot financially and mentally to make it happen. Since it was my first and probably only time seeing them, I went all out. I bought GA tickets and arrived at a queue at 5am, even though the doors wouldn't open until

[00:15:03] 6.30 to 7pm in freezing cold weather. I waited all day, hungry, cold and dehydrated. But it was worth it because when the doors opened, I secured a front row barricade spot right up against the stage. This was my dream spot. Then a guy behind me tapped me on the shoulder and told me he was disabled. He said the venue was supposed to let disabled attendees in early, but they hadn't. He asked me to give him my spot at the barricade. Here's the thing.

[00:15:33] I know this venue is very accommodating for disabled attendees. I actually have friends with disabilities who've gone to shows here. And the staff always ensures they get to front row safely during a designated time frame before it gets too overcrowded. Now, I'm a very short person. 155cm or 5'1", and this guy was extremely tall. Easily over 5'5". If I gave him a spot, I wouldn't be able to see anything at all because he would completely

[00:16:02] block my view. I honestly would have been willing to move if he wasn't so tall or if I could see from the second row. However, in this case, I knew I'd lose the view I had waited more than 10 hours for. I tried to compromise. I pointed out that the right side of the barricade was still open and suggested he go there. Since he's so tall, it's to have a great view and could hold onto the rail for support. However, he refused, saying that the view wasn't as good as where I was.

[00:16:30] While we were talking, that section filled up and he became more insistent. He said he'd have a hard time if he couldn't take my spot. At this point, I got frustrated and explained. 1. If his disability was that serious, he should be in the accessible section, which is specifically designated for attendees with disabilities. 2. If he insisted on being in the standing section, he should have brought a support aid, like a cane. I'd seen someone nearby with one.

[00:16:59] 3. If he spoke to security, they could escort him to the front row disabled seating, which has a fantastic view and is much more accommodating. After hearing this, he called me an arsehole, told me to get fucked and left. I feel like he just wanted my spot and wasn't being truthful. The venue offers several options for disabled attendees, and I try to direct him to alternatives. I feel bad for saying no, but I don't think it was fair of him to ask me to sacrifice my entire experience.

[00:17:28] So, am I the arsehole? Edits regarding the man's height. After everyone pointed out, I realized I indeed made a mistake. I don't live in a country that uses the metric system. I should have double-checked my conversion instead of estimating from memory. I meant to say he was over 170 centimeters. Probably around 175 to 180 centimeters. So, more around 5 feet 9 inches, not 5'5". That did make me chuckle.

[00:17:58] Aerofish says to the OP, As someone who has done the exact same thing to see my favorite band, he was scamming you. See it all the time, along with 1. My friend is holding my spot up front. 2. Can I just squeeze in next to you? 3. Can I just reach past you and grab the barricade with my hand? Once the music starts and there's a push forward, these types will literally try and elbow and push or crowd you out the way.

[00:18:24] That's why the general stance is to stand with feet apart and cross your arms to rest on the barricade. Don't let go. Don't stand back with just your hands resting on it. They look for weak spots to wedge in, so don't give it to them. Lol. Yes, it's like a contact sport. Oh my word, doing that kind of stuff. It's just setting my anxiety off just thinking about that. ConstructionOK says, As a disabled person, this makes me so mad.

[00:18:53] I'm super aware of my limitations and I always check to make sure I've got a clear idea of accommodations available for me. I'll never expect someone to give me whatever I wanted just because I'm disabled. These are the type of people who have learned if they say, oh I'm disabled, they get what some arseholes see as perks. So they throw it around like it's some sort of magic pass to fun things. Not the arsehole and as a fellow short person, less than five feet tall, I feel your pain about tall people in the front blocking the view.

[00:19:23] C Cranberry says, That was an entitled person, not a disabled person. Disabled people usually know the ins and outs of situations like these and just like us, they're not all good people. Some definitely will take full advantage when they can. Like you said, there were plenty of good options for this man and you've done so much to get yourself there. You are definitely not the arsehole. Opie responded saying,

[00:19:51] To be fair, I do feel bad, but not guilty. However, a couple of my friends said I could have just moved instead of acting like a dick. So I wanted to see if people agree with them. So, do we have any concert goers in our community? I'd love to know your thoughts about barrier life. How do you deal with it? Got any top tips? I gotta say, I just, I wouldn't be able to deal with that. It's just, as I say, it sets my anxiety off that kind of stuff.

[00:20:19] That you have to protect your space like that. Holy moly. But anyway, now, I'm gonna turn this one to you guys. What do you guys make of this situation? Let us know your thoughts down in the comments below. And just a huge thank you for being here today. Getting involved in the stories, your love, your support, your time. It always means the absolute world to me. So thank you so, so much. And hopefully, I'll see you in the next one. Take care and much love.