My Friends Boyfriend Gave Me An INAPPROPRIATELY EXPENSIVE Gift r/Relationships

[00:00:03] Hey Waffle Gang, I do hope you are well. My name is Mark and today we're checking out some more Reddit stories and if you do love a Reddit story why not consider hitting that like subscribe maybe that notification bell too and let's crack on with today's first

[00:00:18] story. Much love guys. Now today's first story comes from Beneficial Hall 5320 from the Relationships subreddit. My 26 female friends 26 female boyfriend 28 male gave me an inappropriately expensive gift for my birthday. How do I react?

[00:00:39] Hey everyone, last week I celebrated my birthday with my friend group. We're all fairly close and whilst we've never discussed presents and gifts explicitly, we all kind of naturally fell into an unspoken pattern around what kind of birthday gifts we give to each other.

[00:00:55] We do gifts but they're usually in the 10-40 euro range. Things like a book, a voucher for theatre tickets, maybe a nice bottle of wine, that kind of stuff. We're all young professionals or grad students and that just fits our general income level.

[00:01:11] A good friend of mine brought her boyfriend to the party and he gave me a gift of his own, separate from my friends. Without going into too much detail, it was a small object that

[00:01:21] had a very thoughtful connection to a trip I took in winter. I was genuinely very thankful for the gift and thought it was lovely. However, when I unpacked the item at home something

[00:01:32] about it just caught my eye. Certain parts of the item that I would have expected to be made of glass didn't look like glass. I ended up googling the makers mark on the bottom and found the exact same item online for the price of 750 euros.

[00:01:49] Now, it'd be one thing if this guy was a trust fund kid for whom that kind of money was just peanuts. I'd still feel uncomfortable but at least there'd be some logic to this. But my friend's relationship with this guy already has massive problems, largely centered

[00:02:06] around him being underemployed and making her pick up the tab for their shared lifestyle to an undue degree. We honestly all expect the relationship to fizzle out soon because they obviously aren't compatible in some key aspects.

[00:02:20] So now I've got this 750 euro item on my shelf and have no clue how to handle this. It feels extremely inappropriate to have this thing. I'd feel uncomfortable accepting this sort of gift from almost anyone I know for the fact that it's a, a friend's romantic partner

[00:02:38] I'm gay and her boyfriend knows but still. And b, said friend has issues with her partner's handling of his finances just makes it even worse. It's also a highly specific item that I don't think he'd be likely to just have. So I'm pretty certain he must have bought

[00:02:55] this for the occasion and must be aware of its value. What do I do? My friend seems to be totally unaware of the value of the item. Do I tell her? Do I contact the boyfriend and

[00:03:05] ask him what the fuck was he thinking? How would you handle this? Now I'm not sure if it's going to be the case. My brain is automatically telling me he's done

[00:03:14] this to show you his interest in you, but it's such a bizarre thing to do at the same time in front of his girlfriend, knowing their financial issues at the same time. I'm really

[00:03:25] unsure where this one is going to go. Was it just a piece of tat that he assumed was tat or something that he's getting rid of? Do you remember the story of the woman who just

[00:03:36] recently moved into a new house and one of the neighbors bought around three trash bags full of her old stuff trying to get rid of it on them? Just along those sort of lines.

[00:03:46] But ranty McThrowaway says, I'd bring it up with your friend. There is a chance that he got a really, really good deal or even a decent knockoff at a lower price. But honestly, if he's bad with money, even selling half that price would be pretty inappropriate. Talk

[00:04:03] to your friend and offer to return the gift. If it turns out to have cost as much as you suspect it did, let them know you're incredibly grateful for his thoughtfulness. That it wouldn't

[00:04:11] feel right accepting such a lavish gift and that their company and friendship is all you ask for. Just be honest about how you feel and let your friend decide how she wants to proceed. The Early Food Adventures replies saying, My thought was that it's possible he got

[00:04:27] it at a second hand thrift shop. In my experience, thrift shop prices are not thinking at all about how much something costs initially. There'll be plastic cups and plates Ikea sells for $0.25-0.50 labelled as a dollar. And something obviously nice might get flagged,

[00:04:43] but it is more likely to just be labelled $10. Hopey responds saying, Yeah, I think I'll have to have a discussion with my friend. I also considered that he might have got some kind of bizarrely amazing deal and spent all

[00:04:57] of yesterday night googling around for auctioning sites and checking whether there might be a chance he bought this without knowing what it was and how much it was worth. I'm pretty sure though that unless something genuinely absurd happens, he must have paid at least

[00:05:11] 500 euros for this, and even that's a very generously low estimate. There is of course the chance that he just had this item, but it's so specific and rare I don't think some random pseudo finance bro just has this in his house, sees it and thinks, huh, it's

[00:05:27] my girlfriend's friend's birthday, there might be a good chance to get rid of this. Totally bizarre behaviour. I don't know what this man was thinking, but I need this thing out of my house.

[00:05:39] I love stories like this where you just got no clue what's going to come out of this, it's like a mystery at the moment. But KB says another take. Could it have been an inheritance slash hand me down he had that he didn't have an interest

[00:05:52] in keeping and your friend knew you'd genuinely be interested in? I've had friends re-gift me things from their relatives simply because I'd love it harder, which I think is the sweetest thing. And always true.

[00:06:05] One more comment with a reply who says could you maybe start by sussing out where the boyfriend may have gotten the item, just in case he did actually get it for cheap somehow.

[00:06:14] If I were in your position I'd play dumb at first and just say something like, oh my friend saw item you gave me and wants to buy one for himself, do you mind telling me where

[00:06:23] you got it from so I can let him know? And maybe he'll tell you if he got it second hand or in another cheap way. Or if he's being dodgy about it, you could then proceed

[00:06:32] with, I was looking into it for made up friend and saw the item actually cost $750. I don't feel comfortable accepting a gift that expensive. I think you're right to feel uncomfortable if it really did cost that much, but personally I would just want to confirm that he actually

[00:06:47] paid that price for it before saying anything. The OP responded to that and said I considered that as well, trying to maintain some level of vagueness about what it is. The thing that makes it valuable is that it's antique slash

[00:07:00] second hand. There are modern versions of this item available that are reasonably priced. I initially thought my item was one of these modern versions, but anything made by the particular guy who made mine is valuable because it's old. If he bought it online, it would be downright

[00:07:15] impossible for him to not notice that similar items go for 600-800 euros, even if he somehow got this particular one for cheaper. I suppose there is some kind of bizarre Rothschild that he bought at a flea market or antique store from someone who didn't know what they were

[00:07:30] selling, but he's a very run of the mill finance bro-ish frat boy type and not at all the sort of guy I imagine casually meandering around flea markets and picking up valuable antiques on accident. It's such a bizarre thing to happen, I genuinely don't know whether

[00:07:45] I'm glad to have googled it and found out. On the one hand, I'm glad to know someone did something that utterly bonkers. On the other hand, I could have gone on existing peacefully and enjoyed my pretty trinket if I hadn't found out what it was.

[00:07:59] Okay, if you're at this point guys, I need to know what you guys think is going to be at this moment before we get into the update. Let us know in the comments below. Opie comes in with her update and says to summarize the original post,

[00:08:12] My 26 female friends, 26 female, perpetually broke boyfriend, 28 male gave me a gift for my birthday. It initially looked like a thoughtfully chosen normal gift with a lovely connection to a recent trip to my mother's home country I took in winter. But after growing suspicious

[00:08:28] of the quality of the materials, I realized that it was in fact an antique worth hundreds of euros. Theories as to what happened included him not being aware of the item's value, possibly having bought it from someone who didn't know what they were selling, or him

[00:08:42] trying to somehow hurt his girlfriend and my friend and or trying to hit on me in a bizarre inappropriate way. I ended up texting my friend and telling her that I had researched the

[00:08:52] gift and discovered it was worth a very inappropriate amount of money. She was very surprised by the entire situation, especially considering her boyfriend, now ex but more on that later, is perpetually broke and makes her foot the bill for their shared lifestyle. She came

[00:09:09] over to my place and together we called him on speakerphone where she demanded some answers. Long story short, he stole it from his own mother. He's still being a bit shady about some details but we managed to piece together a sequence of events to a satisfactory degree.

[00:09:28] My friend was supposed to be coming to my birthday party straight from work. When she left her office, she realized she had forgotten the gift she had planned for me, a book at

[00:09:37] home. Since she was already running late and her place is pretty far from both her work and my flat, she chose to text her boyfriend who was having dinner at his parents' home

[00:09:46] at the time. She knew he was there and knew his parents live close to me, so she asked him to just buy a copy of the same book at a bookshop on his way to my place so they'd

[00:09:56] have a gift. For reasons only known to him, he did not choose this simple, reasonable solution to the we forgot our gift issue. Instead of leaving 5 minutes early to pick up another copy of the book, he instead chose to just grab a random item off his mother's

[00:10:12] living room shelf without asking her. He had no idea what it was, just thought it looked pretty, took it and stuffed it in a paper bag. He also did not text back my friend or

[00:10:23] react to her calls, so she reasonably assumed he hadn't read her message and ended up going back to get the books, which was why they arrived separately and with separate gifts. Meanwhile, the boyfriend had unknowingly

[00:10:38] gifted me not just any antique, no, this item had been passed down to his mother from her three times great-grandmother. It had been in his family's possession for literal centuries and was the only tangible connection she, his mother still had to her home country,

[00:10:55] which incidentally is also my mother's home country, which he wasn't aware of. Meaning that what I thought was a thoughtful connection to my trip there was a total coincidence. He had no idea of the item's cultural significance. My friend immediately made him call his mom

[00:11:11] to fess up to the entire situation. His mother had been running herself ragged trying to figure out where the item disappeared to for days. Obviously, she never suspected thievery and was blaming herself terribly for having lost something this important. The boyfriend actually

[00:11:26] had the goal to try and convince her not to make her call his mom. He wanted to just sweep the entire thing under the rug. Of course, we didn't let that happen.

[00:11:36] His mother came by my place this morning and I returned the item to her, along with some apologies for not starting investigations immediately and some nice chocolate. We had a lovely conversation about our shared cultural heritage. I assured her that the item had been treated with dignity

[00:11:50] for the entire time it was in my possession and we parted ways with a hug. She also told me that my initial estimate of the item's value was incorrect. It was worth even more

[00:12:00] money and could probably sell for a 4 figure summer auction. I don't know what she wants to do with her son, but I hope she whoops his ass. My friend, for obvious reasons, broke up with him. Lessons learned. Google suspicious gifts

[00:12:15] and lock away your sentimentals and valuables when people you're not entirely sure about come over. The goal of this man. I mean, the advice on locking away your sentimental items and valuables makes sense, but mom surely trusted her son in this situation. I'm not

[00:12:31] sure I totally believe that he had no idea what it was. This is something that's been passed down time and time again. Literal centuries has huge sentimental value. The mother must have spoken to the son sometime about that item. Must have. For him deciding to take

[00:12:48] it anyway makes this even worse. And I think we can guarantee one thing from this is that he won't be receiving the item in the future or maybe any inheritance, but I wasn't expecting

[00:13:01] that one to be fair. What do you guys make of this situation? Were your predictions true? Let us know your thoughts down in the comments below and let's move on to another story. And our next story comes from the relationship advice subreddit. It does come with an update.

[00:13:18] It's from a throwaway account and says caught my wife sending pics to brother-in-law. Is our marriage salvageable at this point? My wife, Jessica, 34 and I, 35 male, have been married for three years and we dated for two years before that. And we have a two year old

[00:13:35] daughter. Jessica has two sisters. The eldest one, 38 female, is married to Jake, 14 male. A week ago I came home from work early and wanted to scare Jessica. I tried to be sneaky but somehow I slipped and accidentally hurt my back. Jessica came to my rescue. I went

[00:13:53] to the bedroom and she went to the kitchen to get an ice pack. Her phone was on the bed and a WhatsApp notification came from Jake saying, you got the best pair I've ever seen.

[00:14:04] I immediately knew what was happening. I unlocked the phone and saw that she had just sent some pics and video of her tits to Jake. And there was no previous chat before that. When Jessica

[00:14:14] came back to the room, I showed her the chat and asked how long. I've known this woman for 10 years and I've never seen her so mortified. Her eyes got teary and she said, babe, I'm

[00:14:26] sorry but I can't explain. So I said, go on. According to her, at the end of 2019, she was struggling with money and Jake suggested he would help her out. He hinted that he would

[00:14:38] like to see her pics. So she did send him pics and it continued over the years. She swears there was nothing emotional or physical involved, it was purely transactional. I didn't believe any of it but she showed me on Venmo that MF paid her $300 yesterday. I then told

[00:14:57] her it's been 5 years, try to remember if anything physical happened. For me, if even half of what she's saying is true, how could something like that not become physical? She started crying and told me she could prove it tomorrow because Jake would get suspicious

[00:15:13] if she tried to talk to him now. I took her phone, went to a bar, got wasted for the night. And when I came back, she was still there crying. I slept on the couch. Next morning,

[00:15:24] I gave her the phone and she called Jake. Conversation goes something like this. She said, hey, I was wondering if you want some more pics? Jake said, I'm short on money, yesterday I spent all of it. Jessica said, we can do something more this time and meet

[00:15:38] in person. I've changed my mind on that. Jake said, no way, how much are we talking about? I felt like I was going to puke. I told her that we are done and left for office.

[00:15:49] I'm not a very wealthy dude but I would consider myself a stable guy who could take care of his family. Now I just feel like I have failed as a man whose wife had to

[00:15:58] sell her body to meet her expected lifestyle. When I got home that night, she looked like shit. I asked Jessica why she kept taking money from him after we got married and why

[00:16:08] she didn't ask me while we were dating. She said she didn't know how to stop and that it was easy money. I left my home that night and told her she can keep the home

[00:16:17] in the car but I want 50-50 custody of my child. So here I am now. Haven't told anyone about this. It's been a week since, staying in a hotel. I go home in the evening to play

[00:16:27] with my daughter. I'm speaking with divorce lawyers and Jessica is constantly talking about marriage counseling. So the top comment on this one said her sister deserves to know. Gather the evidence, contact an attorney, follow the attorney's advice

[00:16:43] and tell your sister-in-law and all of the family, not the kids. Your marriage is over. OP shortly came in with an update and said, Before getting to the update, some people were asking me to get a paternity test. I

[00:16:57] don't need one. I know she is my daughter because I'm Indian and Jessica, my wife, is white and my daughter looks like me. Now for the update. After I made that post, I shared my situation with my cousin's sister, 30F. She is the

[00:17:10] only family member I have living in the states. I visited her place the next day and she knocked some sense into me. I realized part of me still didn't want a divorce because I basically married Jessica against my parents will. They wanted me to have an arranged marriage

[00:17:26] so my failed marriage would hurt my ego. She also arranged a meeting with a divorce lawyer and no, I'm not giving up my house. I was just emotional at the time. From what

[00:17:36] I understand in our state, adultery had pretty much zero impact on the assets so it would likely be a 50-50 split. However, there is a high chance I can get better custody

[00:17:45] of my daughter because I have a job and Jessica doesn't. She is also involved in sex work at this point which could work in my favor. My father-in-law called me last evening and

[00:17:57] he was crying. He told me he didn't know what to say to me and that if you were in my place, you would have left her. Apparently, Jessica got scared and told her family everything

[00:18:05] after I didn't visit home for two days and blocked her everywhere. I guess I should have done that a little while ago and Jake is out of his house also. So I think I will

[00:18:15] go for a divorce because there is no point of reconciliation at this point when the whole relationship seems fake to me. So there was a couple of comments with replies from OP. Someone says I'm really sorry you're

[00:18:25] going through this. Sounds like you have a good path forward and I wish you the best with custody and all that. Someone else what happened with Jake and his wife? Sounds like she kicked him out. OP

[00:18:35] says yeah she kicked him out yesterday. I didn't ask about them much but it sounds like my sister-in-law is sure she's getting a divorce. Another commenter says any update on your sister-in-laws relationship with Jessica?

[00:18:46] OP says it sounds like everyone is trying to cut off contact with both Jessica and Jake but I think only my mother-in-law is talking to Jessica. She was at my house last night. Someone says what's happening with the sisters marriage? OP says I think my sister-in-law

[00:19:00] is fixated on divorce at this moment. And then says again what was the excuse brother-in-law gave? The fact that he took money from their home and gave it to your ex is crazy. I hope she can heal from that and does divorce him.

[00:19:13] OP says I didn't really ask. I was too overwhelmed by my father-in-laws response. He was crying non stop. And there was a conversation below the update basically talking about how the hell did they think they could get away with it.

[00:19:28] And bending college grad says it's the Dunning Kruger effect in action. People overestimate how smart or slick they are due to cognitive bias. There's a theory inspired by a man so dumb he believed if lemon juice could make invisible

[00:19:43] ink then it would do the same for his face. It's why he robbed two banks waving the security cameras. Shout out to the moron MacArthur Wheeler. OP's ex and her brother-in-law thought their arrangement was foolproof because they are

[00:19:56] both idiots and do not know it. Now everyone else has to pay the price. And I just googled that MacArthur Wheeler and he says it's the real deal. Just give me some reading for later. Holy moly.

[00:20:08] I was certainly thinking not along those lines but about how do they what was their end game in this? That this is just going to continue forever and ever. And the amount of money spent on that when you know it's so easily accessible these days

[00:20:22] it could only been like a like a power thing I guess or that he's getting pictures of something that's really forbidden some sort of king card I don't know. You guys have to let me know what you guys make of this one down in the comments below.

[00:20:37] Now just a huge thank you from the bottom of my heart for getting involved in today's stories your love your support your time always means the absolute world to me so thank you so so much and hopefully I'll see you in the next one.

[00:20:50] Take care and much love.