My Fiancee's Grandma Started Making WILD ACCUSATIONS Against Me r/Relationships

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[00:00:45] Let's crack on with today's first story. Much love guys.

[00:00:50] Now, today's first story comes from the relationship advice subreddit from Letok8529, who says,

[00:00:56] my fiance's grandma's 75 female made a wild accusation against me 27 male considering

[00:01:04] removing her from our wedding guest list this last weekend we had my fiance's family visit and

[00:01:11] it was an overall disaster i've known her family since 2015 we recently bought a house and had an

[00:01:19] old college roommate move in to help out since we have spare bedrooms my fiance and her sister

[00:01:24] had a small argument over her sister's behavior they made up and i assumed everything was fine

[00:01:30] i was in the bathroom during the argument with everything settled we planned to go to dinner

[00:01:36] my roommate and i drove her grandparents and my fiance drove with the remainder of the family

[00:01:41] we split like this because we are the only two who know the parking lot my fiance and i when her

[00:01:47] grandma was silent the entire drive when we arrived at dinner her grandma started glaring at all of us

[00:01:54] she eventually refused to order and went to sit outside the restaurant we assumed she wasn't

[00:02:00] feeling well and went back to the hotel or was still upset about the argument the following day

[00:02:05] she refused to come to a family dinner i was preparing for all week we figured she was still

[00:02:11] upset we were annoyed by the rudeness and blatant disregard for all the work we put in but we still

[00:02:16] had fun she ended up staying at the hotel for the remainder of the trip the rest of her family continued

[00:02:22] to visit with us and the trip ended on a happy note the next day i noticed that her grandma blocked my

[00:02:29] entire family on facebook we spoke to my future mother-in-law and got the real story apparently

[00:02:36] on the way to dinner her grandma thought that our roommate and i were getting too friendly she is

[00:02:43] somehow convinced that i'm going to leave my fiance for our roommate steal our house and have my family

[00:02:49] help my fiance was shocked to the point of being speechless when she was sitting outside the

[00:02:54] restaurant she was nearly storming back in and accusing us in front of the entire restaurant she

[00:03:00] has not spoken to her since and is apparently acting like everything is normal now that she's home

[00:03:05] my fiance's family have all been apologizing and assuring us that none of them think that that's

[00:03:10] what is happening i guess what really upsets me is the lack of care for planning i put into the

[00:03:15] dinner and that she thinks that lowly of me i've never done anything to suggest those are my

[00:03:20] intentions and have been nothing but excellent to her granddaughter what also upsets me is my grandma

[00:03:26] was so excited to see her grandma my grandma is not doing well health-wise and we don't know how much

[00:03:31] longer she'll be around the disappointment in my grandma's face hurt me knowing she wouldn't be able

[00:03:36] to visit with somebody she hasn't seen in years my fiance and i have talked and do not believe we've done

[00:03:42] anything wrong we're currently holding a wedding invitation i still really care for her other family

[00:03:48] members until we get some kind of apology if it were up to me i'd cut all ties but i'm willing to

[00:03:54] get over that for a day if my fiance really wants her grandmother there she's never been anything but

[00:03:59] kind to me so this sudden shift is shocking so some relevant comments on this one jammy cam says

[00:04:05] maybe she is beginning to suffer some cognitive issues if she hasn't behaved like this in the past then

[00:04:11] don't cut her off just because of one incident your fiance should speak to her parents about any

[00:04:16] concerns and figure out together what needs to be done if anything do not push her to cut ties with

[00:04:22] grandmother smooth ad says my mother's aunt accused me of stealing her jewelry or staying in a house

[00:04:28] during college we understood something was wrong and she was diagnosed with alzheimer's i was living in

[00:04:34] a dormitory and didn't see her since high school man bear boar says op i know you've said your mother-in-law

[00:04:40] is having her screened at her next follow-up she needs a psychiatrist or a neurologist or both

[00:04:45] a dramatic shift in behavior coupled with a fear and anger you're describing here is a classic and

[00:04:51] common sign of alzheimer's that fits with her age range i'm sorry you're going through this and i know

[00:04:57] it's incredibly hurtful i know it's difficult but i would suggest dropping it aside from advocating for

[00:05:02] medical care the real and devastating effects of alzheimer's on the brain essentially means

[00:05:07] that she is no longer herself in those moments it is not the person you know doing those things

[00:05:13] have someone assigned as a grandma minder at the wedding to keep her behavior in check and remove her

[00:05:18] if she's beginning to have an outburst best of luck eton road says i understand this is upsetting but

[00:05:24] i don't think you're being rational about this she's an elderly woman and this indicates there's some type

[00:05:29] of cognitive problem it shouldn't upset you what she thinks about you because she's not thinking

[00:05:35] logically it can be upsetting to have family members who have these type of issues but a lot of people

[00:05:40] deal with it as relative age you need to be the bigger person here and the kinder person and have some

[00:05:45] compassion destroyer says look we can all sit around playing reddit doctor and guess what uti

[00:05:52] dementia alzheimer's condition the grandmother may or may not have but playing the guessing game

[00:05:58] accomplishes nothing and doesn't move anything forward wait for what the actual doctors say and go from

[00:06:04] there regarding whatever her condition may be in the meantime and quotes when she was sitting outside

[00:06:09] the restaurant she was near storming back in and accusing us in front of the entire restaurant and

[00:06:14] says this needs to be planned for while empathetic to the grandmother's situation i wouldn't let one of

[00:06:20] the biggest happiest moments your lives be ruined by acting like everything is okay and blindly assuming

[00:06:26] she won't storm in and accuse us in front of everyone at your wedding i'm sorry i truly empathize and

[00:06:33] hope she gets the care that she needs whatever the cause but you don't have to create this risk and

[00:06:39] stand on the altar hoping she doesn't do it you don't have to cut all ties get some answers first

[00:06:45] but regardless having the person that was seriously considering storming in and accusing you in front of

[00:06:50] everyone at your wedding is a horrible horrible idea and i kind of assume because of the nature of the

[00:06:56] story and especially opi's last line where he said she's never been anything but kind to me so the

[00:07:01] sudden shift is shocking and you know whenever we get a sudden shift of behavior that's the chance

[00:07:06] it points to you know cognitive issues etc etc we've seen it in previous stories as well and before i say

[00:07:12] my next line i'm definitely not saying that's not the case but i will also say that sometimes people

[00:07:17] are just assholes and i think you know we need to point that out at the same time obviously the

[00:07:23] switch in behavior does point in that direction because it's just a sudden change and everything was

[00:07:28] fine before this but i feel like i'm very much with destroyer's comment on this one where it said

[00:07:34] you know playing the guessing game isn't really gonna help you can just sit back wait to see what

[00:07:39] the doctors say and then you can go from there whilst also planning ahead for various scenarios because

[00:07:45] at your wedding you don't want nothing like that going on at your wedding holy moly

[00:07:49] so then op came in with an update and said hey so i made this post two weeks ago about my

[00:07:55] fiance's grandma accusing me of wanting to cheat on my future wife with our roommate since then

[00:08:01] things have developed quite rapidly she finally called my fiance last night the call lasted all of

[00:08:08] three minutes and was lots of awkward silence and this wasn't meant to hurt you my fiance not me and

[00:08:15] i'm still afraid for you the call ended and my fiance didn't change her feelings on this situation

[00:08:21] not being satisfied my fiance called her back the following morning and explained she didn't like

[00:08:26] how the call went a grandma burst into a fit and called our roommate a dog that needs to move out

[00:08:33] my fiance was also told to protect your home and evict her i was offended by you're expecting too much of

[00:08:41] him me you work nights and leave those two at home he's no saint she cited a previous relationship

[00:08:48] between my fiance's aunt and a man they were engaged and he cheated on her the aunt has said several

[00:08:54] times this situation is no way near alike and that i am not like that man her grandma has doubled down

[00:09:01] on her theories and has not apologized she is also convinced i'm the one that removed her from the guest

[00:09:07] list i voiced my opinion but have left the ultimate final choice up to my fiance who seems pretty set on

[00:09:14] her not being invited i know a lot of replies mentioned dementia but based on what my future

[00:09:20] mother-in-law has said this has happened before i'm wondering if she's just expecting to get away

[00:09:25] with it because she always has with all of these recent developments would it be bad to leave her

[00:09:30] off the guest list i'm worried it will cause a fight or she will say something and ruin our big day

[00:09:36] so personally for me reading that and seeing that she's got a pattern of this kind of behavior

[00:09:42] behavior and of course i'm still not saying it it can't be something cognitive or or whatever

[00:09:47] but because of the pattern of the behavior in and seeing it's happened before etc etc it kind of feels

[00:09:54] like myself i'd be really concerned that that was going to happen at the wedding and the way that she

[00:09:59] thinks about the op and if i was in op's position i thought you know someone's thinking about me in that

[00:10:04] way would i want them at my special day no i wouldn't and and whilst the fiance seems to be on op's side in

[00:10:14] this i would still be relaying those feelings to the fiance and saying look i'm not really comfortable

[00:10:20] with someone who might turn up make an absolute scene in front of everyone doesn't think about me

[00:10:25] in a positive light anyway why should i pay for them to be at an event you know i mean

[00:10:31] but golden dragon says since you are the innocent party here where your in-laws and your fiance believed

[00:10:37] in you you should leave the decision to your fiance to invite her grandma or not because by your post

[00:10:43] it seems that her grandma's accusation has no ground and she's stating nonsense due to seeing her own

[00:10:49] daughter's betrayal her family knows their grandma best and they can make the decision regarding her

[00:10:54] because it will be a heavier burden for them later on whether they will regret or rejoice in having her

[00:10:59] presence and if they want their grandma present while you don't you may cause tension as well you can

[00:11:06] avoid the confusion hurt and mistake by allowing your fiance to make this decision and just abiding

[00:11:12] and following through with her if i moonbeam says frankly i'd be afraid of her making a scene at the

[00:11:17] wedding like standing up and screaming objections in the middle of the ceremony maroon grad says this was

[00:11:24] my thought too my fiance isn't inviting her grandmother because her grandmother doesn't

[00:11:29] approve of the marriage and has been trying to cause problems between us my fiance doesn't want to deal with

[00:11:35] her grandmother continuing to make a scene at the wedding when people ask be blunt tell the simple

[00:11:41] truth fiance's grandmother fiance's decision grandmother's bad behavior another commenter says this is the way a lot

[00:11:50] of older especially religious people are i have two female cousins that are like sisters to me

[00:11:56] and they consider me their little brother about 20 years ago they were living together in a house in a

[00:12:02] major college town in the south the older one got married and moved with her husband across the country

[00:12:07] i was living about a thousand miles away at the time going to college but my roommate was moving out

[00:12:13] and i was looking for something new my cousin and i started talking about me moving down and

[00:12:18] transferring schools her parents got wind of it and cried out what would people think we were both

[00:12:24] puzzled as we had no idea what they were talking about turns out they thought people would think that

[00:12:30] since we are a man and a woman living together even in separate rooms that people would get the wrong

[00:12:35] idea we just laughed and said this isn't alabama or west virginia remarkable c says does grandma's

[00:12:42] presence bring your fiance joy if not she doesn't deserve to go to your wedding weddings should

[00:12:47] be happy occasions grandma seems to be a miserable woman who wants everyone else to be miserable too

[00:12:53] wildly uninteresting says considering her constant efforts to cause trouble leaving her off the guest

[00:12:59] list is the wisest choice better her unhappy and not ruining your wedding than unhappy and present

[00:13:05] if anyone asks it was a tough choice but grandma has been trying to constantly cause issues with us

[00:13:11] we didn't want the risk on this day with unnecessary drama be certain or have a plan if she forces

[00:13:17] herself there but now i'm gonna turn this one to you guys what do you guys make of this situation let us

[00:13:25] know your thoughts down in the comments below and let's move on to another story

[00:13:34] word for strom and erdgas energie word for sicher zuverlässig word for von hier von uns ener also

[00:13:42] regional und das alles zusammen sachsen energie hier kommen sachsen und energie zusammen ob strom oder

[00:13:49] erdgas wir bringen energie jetzt auch zu dir regional und zuverlässig mehr infos unter sachsenenergie.de

[00:13:56] sachsen energie die kraft die uns verbindet. now our next story comes from the am i the arsehole

[00:14:04] subreddit from local honeydew who says am i the arsehole for insisting my friends so pay their share

[00:14:10] for holiday accommodation my friend male 47 and i female 43 booked to go to an island we'd both been

[00:14:19] keen to go to we booked a two-bed cabin and because of the popularity of their place we had to book

[00:14:25] and pay 10 months in advance we split the cost 50 50. two months ago before we were due to go

[00:14:31] he meets someone and they commence dating holiday comes up and understandably she was a bit

[00:14:37] uncomfortable with him coming with me i was given an ultimatum either she comes or the holiday is

[00:14:43] called off i didn't say yes immediately because i needed to check with the accommodation and

[00:14:47] as the island has a limited number of guests allowed i needed the okay from them first my hesitation

[00:14:53] wasn't taken well they thought i wasn't keen i got back to them within 24 hours and said i'd gotten

[00:15:00] the all clear for his girlfriend to also come and she could book plane tickets for her a week later

[00:15:05] he informed me she had the tickets and i asked him we could discuss rebalancing the accommodation costs

[00:15:11] now that there was three of us coming as it should now be a three-way split i was surprised that he

[00:15:17] responded with anger as far as he was concerned the accommodation was paid for and it was wrong and

[00:15:23] greedy of me to expect money from his girlfriend he told me that he was paying for the entire holiday

[00:15:28] for his girlfriend so it was still going to be just him and me paying that was unfair of me to not

[00:15:34] pay for half i told him that there's three adults three people three-way split if he chose to pay for

[00:15:42] his girlfriend's third that was his choice and nothing to do with me he told me his girlfriend was

[00:15:47] going to buy me a cocktail cheeky bastards to say thank you for the accommodation but if i was going

[00:15:56] to insist on a split then i could forget it and buy my own god i could forget it and buy my own damn

[00:16:04] cocktails as he couldn't believe i was being so selfish the thing is a cocktail is 15 dollars and i was

[00:16:12] currently covering half her accommodation costs 600 i don't think i was an asshole for asking her slash

[00:16:19] them to cover her share of the accommodation i hadn't even met her yet but they thought i should

[00:16:25] cover a cost because it was already paid for am i the asshole for insisting she paid for a component

[00:16:31] of the cost now i know you probably want your holiday op it sounds like you've been looking forward

[00:16:36] to it for some time but if i was in your situation and petty me would just say i cancel it if you can

[00:16:42] get your money back because it sounds like regardless if you if you was to go if they was to split it three

[00:16:49] ways it sounds like it would still be like a shit time to me it sounds like it'd be awful with the

[00:16:55] attitude that you're getting already and the entitled attitude in itself if you was coming along if you

[00:17:01] was invited last minute on someone else's holiday i'd want to speak to that person myself and say

[00:17:06] is you you sure you don't mind me coming if you do then i'm out because i get where you're coming

[00:17:11] from you've had this holiday booked in advance not expect that person to front the cost of my

[00:17:16] accommodation and you know we're just talking about accommodation at this point in time what else is

[00:17:21] this going to go into and just think in the evenings like we've done some stuff you might have

[00:17:26] gone to the beach all day or you know gone out walking or whatever you come back you want to chill

[00:17:31] let's sit on the sofa all being lovey-dovey you know first holiday vibes together and all that

[00:17:37] kind of stuff who knows what other sounds you might be hearing it just sounds like a shit time i gotta

[00:17:42] say but just hanging out says not the arsehole pull out of the vacation if you can still get a full refund

[00:17:47] this will not end up being fun for you summer oracle says this op this is a very real chance this trip is

[00:17:54] going to be unpleasant for you potentially even doing permanent damage to your friendship

[00:17:58] passionate absorber says good suggestion i have a feeling this is going to turn into a romantic

[00:18:03] getaway third wheel situation if that relationship even lasts that long boo boo says being forced to

[00:18:10] be a third wheel is bad enough that'll be expected to pay for the privilege also a free holiday in

[00:18:15] exchange for one cocktail get the fuck uh ligma says not the arsehole is it too late to get a refund on

[00:18:25] anything i don't want to spend a single second with them considering they're treating you like

[00:18:29] trash for asking for a simple contribution on a trip that the new girlfriend has weaseled her way into

[00:18:35] i'd bet my bottom dollar that she either can't afford and is insecure or she's just that entitled

[00:18:41] if he's paying for a whole trip then he needs to cough up more for the stay bad friend op says i'm super

[00:18:49] tempted to throw it all in demands i've started about removing myself from the cabin to give them privacy

[00:18:55] and canceling pre-booked plans because she doesn't want to do them yeah cancel this shit right now

[00:19:01] holy moly the op comes in with her update and says thank you everyone interesting to see various lines of

[00:19:08] thoughts it seems there's a split between people that think everyone pays equally no matter what

[00:19:14] those that think a couple sharing a bedroom are treated as one person cost wise and those that

[00:19:19] think the cost should be split taking into account the shared area one third per bedroom one third

[00:19:25] shared spaces with this in mind and everything else going on i called the accommodation and discussed

[00:19:30] options then called my friend i explained to him that we'd made the agreement to split everything

[00:19:35] equally when there was only two of us going but i no longer felt that agreement was fair i suggested

[00:19:41] the third option splitting the cost of the communal areas three ways but set cost per bedroom

[00:19:47] and also stated that any food activities etc wouldn't be split anymore would each be responsible for

[00:19:53] our own and they could decide as a couple how they were paying for themselves it didn't go down well

[00:19:59] at all he didn't see why he should be out of pocket because i decided to go against our agreement that

[00:20:04] i'm paying 50 of everything i stuck to it and said i'd be willing to negotiate the accommodation cost

[00:20:10] but there was no way i was going to pay for half of his girlfriend's activities or a dinners and

[00:20:15] drinks and it was ridiculous for him to think that i should be paying half for his girlfriend's costs

[00:20:20] especially since she's a complete stranger and he'd already asked me to change all of our previous

[00:20:24] plans to suit her he called me a b-word and told me i was acting crazy i stopped him and said from that

[00:20:33] i don't think this holiday is going to work and i had spoken to the accommodation and i was going to

[00:20:38] cancel as of today i told him if he still wanted to go and the accommodation would hold open the

[00:20:44] booking for him for 72 hours and if he confirmed with them i'd instructed them to hold on to the

[00:20:49] eighteen hundred dollars that's what it contributed to the booking and refund me the rest and his

[00:20:54] girlfriend and him would have to pay the hotel to finalize if they didn't confirm i'd get the

[00:20:59] refund for the whole amount and then forward him his share he went quiet and then told me that since i

[00:21:05] was changing the rules at the last minute i should leave the entire accommodation payment because

[00:21:10] it wasn't his fault that i no longer wanted to go leaving them in the lurch and i'd be ruining his

[00:21:16] holiday with his girlfriend i told him i was canceling and i would definitely not be paying for

[00:21:22] any accommodation i wouldn't be using i might have been a little petty when i told him he'd still be

[00:21:27] paying for his girlfriend's costs it'd just be a little more than he was expecting because i was

[00:21:32] no longer going to subsidize them i canceled my flights and the accommodation and emailed him all the

[00:21:38] details and op leaves another message update in a moment but jewels me says wow i'm so sorry they're

[00:21:46] both immature i bet you she is young offering a cocktail and then taking it back she's young or broke

[00:21:52] or cheap not someone you want to go on a nice trip with i would say since there are so many requests

[00:21:57] by her this has become a trip more about her and therefore needs to be split three ways how is it fair

[00:22:04] she can kick me out of the cabin sadly you may lose a friend over this he's obviously siding with his

[00:22:09] two-minute jealous girlfriend over a long-term friend op says she's 51 so the oldest i don't know

[00:22:17] her at all never met her so can't say whether she's cheap or broke hippie tappy slappy says who is this guy

[00:22:24] to you how did you meet him how long have you known him i cannot fathom someone expecting this from

[00:22:30] someone else it sounds like an obvious self-centered sibling taking advantage of a family bond type of

[00:22:35] entitlement this can't have been the first time he has done something this inconsiderate op says i've

[00:22:41] known him for five years as a friend yes i've had some issues with him for lack of empathy regarding

[00:22:47] others and general selfishness he was a mid-40s guy that basically never had a long-term girlfriend

[00:22:53] i just sort of went with the two used to doing his own thing to pay much attention to it

[00:22:57] we've traveled together before and in larger groups have issues in the past with his lack of

[00:23:03] planning leaving a lot up to me but his entire personality seemed to change overnight when he

[00:23:08] started seeing this new girlfriend nothing was good enough before he'd at least discuss things

[00:23:13] or options this time was like hitting a brick wall his way or no way decided this was going to happen

[00:23:21] without talking to me and then got angry when i wanted to discuss it first then op left the final

[00:23:26] update and said i haven't kept in contact with them for obvious reasons but through some mutual type

[00:23:31] of friends i found out the following they planned to go but tried to find keeper accommodation on the

[00:23:37] island so let the hold expire without making any contact with the accommodation from my understanding

[00:23:43] everything was booked up completely that weekend and for the next six months they lost the option to

[00:23:48] use the cabin and someone immediately booked it when it became free there's a wait list i received back

[00:23:54] the full deposit and immediately transferred his portion to him as i stated i would never got an

[00:23:59] acknowledgement he received it but it was an account i had paid into previously my bank assured me it

[00:24:04] was good mutual friend told me the ex was pissed off as against my advice he'd bought non-refundable

[00:24:11] non-transferable plane tickets and refused to buy travel insurance so he's out the cost of those

[00:24:17] fares about three thousand two hundred dollars and that because i pulled out his holiday with his

[00:24:23] girlfriend was totally ruined and i owed him an apology and the cost of the fares not going to happen

[00:24:29] myself i've booked a holiday back at the island where i'm in a single apartment by myself and plan

[00:24:35] to have an awesome time i will never not be shocked by some people's entitlement the words come out of

[00:24:43] this 47 year old guy's mouth that he's expecting op to front the cost here as i was reading through it i was

[00:24:51] thinking oh god is he just like because he's in this like honeymoon period with his girlfriend is he just

[00:24:56] blinded by love but it seemed like he's always been this way just small parts of it coming out time and time

[00:25:04] again what a burke but now i'm gonna turn this one to you guys what do you guys make of this

[00:25:10] situation let me know your thoughts down in the comments below just a huge thank you from the

[00:25:16] bottom of my heart for getting involved in today's stories your love your support your time always

[00:25:21] means the absolute world to me so thank you so so much for being involved and hopefully i'll see you

[00:25:26] in the next one take care and much love hey sorry dass wir hier gerade deinem podcast unterbrechen wir

[00:26:01] wollten uns nur mal ganz kurz vorstellen wir sind jamil und tim vom podcast eine meine deine

[00:26:06] meinung jede woche diskutieren wir über ein thema das uns alle gerade bewegt das besondere ist aber

[00:26:11] wir losen vorher aus wer dafür und wer dagegen sein muss um aus der eigenen meinungsblase rauszukommen also

[00:26:17] zum beispiel ist werbung für einen podcast in einem anderen podcast wirklich sinnvoll wir haben

[00:26:24] ausgelost tim ist dagegen werbung nervt vor allem wenn du gerade mitten in einem spannenden oder

[00:26:29] lustigen podcast steckst das killt einfach den flow ich bin dafür wenn die werbung gut gemacht ist und zu dir

[00:26:35] passt dann könnte es genau das sein was du suchst und dann entdeckst du vielleicht einen

[00:26:40] lieblings podcast mehr und schon hat sich gelohnt wie erfährst du auch sonst von einem neuen podcast

[00:26:44] ja aber sind wir das was du suchst wenn du bock hast deine eigene meinung mal herauszufordern dann

[00:26:51] höre ein bei eine meine deine meinung kurz em dm

[00:26:55] ja

[00:26:55] ja

[00:26:55] ja

[00:26:55] ja