My Fiance Secretly Invited His Ex "Situationship" To Our Wedding r/Relationship

[00:00:02] Hey Waffle Gang, I do hope you're well. My name is Mark and today we're checking out some more Reddit Stories. And if you do love a Reddit Story, why not consider hitting that like, subscribe, maybe that notification bell too. And let's crack on with today's first story. Much love guys.

[00:00:18] Now, today's first story is one you may have heard in other places before but there was an update just recently. So as always, if you want to skip certain parts of the story, please feel free to do so. Timestamps are down in the description and along the timeline below. Thank you. It's from nonectarine299 from the Off My Chest subreddit and says,

[00:00:37] My Fiance invited his ex situationship for our wedding behind my back. I, 23 female, am getting married in January and just found out my Fiance, Mark, 25 male, fake name, invited his old situationship to our wedding without consulting me. For context, me and Mark met on a dating app two years ago after he broke up a relationship. To be honest, it's quite confusing what he and Tracy, 24,

[00:01:07] female, had. They met because of a mutual friend and started to develop feelings for each other. Mark told me they never dated and slept together but it was more than friendship. Until today, he keeps her love letters, gifts and talks about her. Tracy and him try to stay in contact after the breakup. Staying friends but she ghosted him after finding out we started to date. From what I saw on her social media, she's in a relationship so I'm not worried about her trying to get with my fiance again.

[00:01:37] They haven't been in contact for two years but he still has her number and email. I found out about him inviting her after I checked again our guest list and finding her name. I know Tracy is not a threat to our relationship but Mark inviting her behind my back makes me feel bad about our whole wedding. He told me he doesn't feel anything for her yet he made sure to send her an invitation.

[00:02:01] This is probably me being insecure but my fear of him not getting over her is slowly creeping inside my heart. I don't want to lose him. The way you talk about it, it does sound like he's actually not over her. That he's keeping the love letters. I know loads of people keep like old mementos. Talking about her as well and then inviting her behind your back at the same time. All that together is just screaming red flag territory.

[00:02:28] And I'm trying to think of the outcome of this. If you didn't find out about that she was invited, she was just going to turn up at your wedding. Has he actually thought that through? Someone he's hiding from you about inviting her anyway is going to just turn up at your wedding. I mean that's just weird. Nightwish says he's probably not over her. Especially since they were never a thing. For him she might be the one that got away.

[00:02:54] If I were OP, I would have a very serious talk with him. OP responded saying I don't get why he's not over her. Especially if they were never a thing. From what Mark told me, he was the one who didn't want a relationship since Tracy just started life. Proper strategy says tell him you don't want her there and that's final. And you better ascend it or you'll have to rethink the marriage because starting a married life by going behind your back is a no-no.

[00:03:21] To be honest, you need to not stubbornly hold on to someone you can't trust. And you can't trust someone who does shit behind your back. OP says her going to the wedding doesn't make me uncomfortable since I know she won't do anything. The problem is my fiance and the fact they invited her to the wedding without notifying me. If Mark wanted her there, fine. But I just hate the fact that he didn't tell me beforehand and is making me think he lied about getting over her. And that's exactly it, isn't it? It's all about that.

[00:03:50] All about doing this behind your back. If you know this, if Tracy was just a friend, he'd be able to say that quite easily to you. You know, it's just a friendship. I'd really like her there, etc, etc. The fact that he's done this behind your back says a lot more, doesn't it? Water Disaster says OP doesn't it make you wonder if he's really over her? He keeps her love letters and the gifts and he talks about her all the time. I think there's feelings that are still lingering. You better have a serious talk with him.

[00:04:17] Mo Nectarine says he doesn't talk about her all the time. It's own comments from time to time. I believe that it's not right to erase her since Tracy was a part of his story. But I did get the ick in the beginning when I saw her letters and gifts. Jen says he went behind your back to invite someone whose love letters he kept. The fact he didn't talk to you about it is a red flag. If having her there is more important to him than you being comfortable at your own wedding, then you might need to postpone the wedding.

[00:04:45] She might not be a threat to your relationship, but it sounds like your fiance's feelings are a threat. And a final comment from Mayhem Abounds who says this is actually more problematic than you think. This isn't a real friend. They don't have a long history of shared friends. It's not an ex with shared kids and a good and friendly co-parenting relationship. This is someone he was intimate with and he hasn't spoken with since you've been together.

[00:05:10] He never should have reached out to her and you need to set boundaries around this and figure it out before getting married. Edited to add, I don't think you're being insecure at all. I would imagine you discussed your guest list and he never brought her up. To do it this way would feel deceptive and as though it was done behind your back and that is concerning. It raises a red flag that his feelings around her are not okay if he couldn't even discuss inviting her with you openly. And that should have been the sign for him that this wasn't okay.

[00:05:39] This is where you need further discussions. Why didn't he talk openly if everything is on the up and up? Would he have started texting with her regularly and just not told you as well? Does he reach out with other exes? I think this is a good time to talk about your relationship and how you protect it in the years to come. Not Just Friends by Shirley P. Gars is a great book to help you understand why relationships need boundaries

[00:06:03] and what friends of a relationship are and when you could be opening doors or windows into a relationship that should never be opened. Good luck. So OP comes in with her first update and says after reading the comments and talking with some friends, my heart finally understood Mark never really got over Tracy. In the beginning I was in denial but I went out with Tom, 24 male, his best friend of years, to understand about what really happened between them.

[00:06:29] From what he told me, Tracy and Mark met because of some friends in common. She just got into the university and was 17 at the time. While Mark was already almost graduating. They stayed friends for two years and feelings started to blossom. Mark was already working while she was still in college. He only wanted to formally date her after her graduation so it was never a thing. Even though they shared love letters, gifts and shared almost every holiday together.

[00:06:56] Tom told me everyone from their old friend group thought they would marry since they were so sweet together. So the breakup was really unpredictable. Tracy was the one who broke up with Mark due to their religious values not lining up. As she wanted to save herself until marriage. In the end they decided it was better to go separate ways and maybe try again after a few years. But after me and Mark started to date, Tracy realized that it was pointless to wait for him and started to see other people too. So she blocked him in everything.

[00:07:27] Except email just to have a clean beginning. In the end I finally realized that Mark is just hopeful that Tracy would come back to him due to their talks of trying again after a while. It honestly hurt so much. As I loved him so much. I still didn't confront him since I'm still shaken up. But I don't know if this marriage will happen. I'm going to update once I calm down and confront him.

[00:07:50] Opie comes in with a second update and says it's been a while since the last update and I'm here to announce the wedding has been called off. My parents are the one cancelling everything for me. Just like I returned to my childhood when mum and dad had to solve my problems. I confronted Mark after talking with Tom and made him aware of everything I've been dealing with. His reaction at the beginning was dismissive and was almost as if he was trying to escape from this situation.

[00:08:16] In the end Mark said he never loved someone like Tracy because it was pure and innocent. She reminded him that not everything is about carnal desire. And in the darkest moments of his life Tracy was like a sunlight. Hearing the man you love admitting how much he loved another woman is so hurtful. During the talk I started to cry bawling my eyes out. Mark had the audacity to say he loves me but it's a different kind of love.

[00:08:45] I asked why he invited her to our wedding and he was speechless. Why he had to throw away our future for something in the past. It hurts so much. Mark told me he knew Tracy didn't block him on email since he was the one who helped her get her first job. And a lot of professional stuff was also involved. This is how he was able to send our wedding invitation but he meant no harm. When I asked what he meant with this Mark just said he wanted to make her watch us together

[00:09:13] and realize what she lost because he was hurt that Tracy was pregnant and not married. The moment Mark mentioned about Tracy's pregnancy a red alarm started to echo in my head. How did you know about her pregnancy? You said you blocked her everywhere. I could see a panic in his eyes as he started to stutter. In the end I made him give me his phone and I found out more than five accounts to stalk Tracy. My stomach felt sick and the urge to vomit was overwhelming.

[00:09:41] In the end I decided to call off the engagement since he was a creep. Mark threw himself on the floor asking for forgiveness and he loves me. Just in a different way to compare to Tracy and was just hurt that she gave herself to another man while he begged her countless times for sex. This made me feel even more disgusted with him because he felt entitled to her virginity and body. I left without even taking a bag with me. Everything is just too much.

[00:10:08] I can't believe I spent two years loving a stalker. A man child. Oh. I also told Tracy everything in his accounts. I don't know if she saw my messages but I hope she does. The jealousy I once felt for her transformed into pity as no woman should go through what Mark has done. Mark wants to meet up with me and doesn't want to break up. I'm just so tired. Small update. Tracy messaged me and wants to grab a coffee with me.

[00:10:37] And you can imagine the comments on this one like people saying absolutely do not meet up with this guy. Well done for telling Tracy about what's been going on as well. She'd been stalked by this guy. Wanting to invite her to the wedding just to get back at her. Oh dear. It's all levels of crazy ass behavior. But OP comes in with what they're saying. Their final update. And says I think this is my last update. Since I already met up with Tracy and talked about what happened.

[00:11:07] Me and her met at a cafe and in the beginning I was really nervous. As I didn't know what was her reaction because her reply was only. Hi. Let's talk over a cup of coffee. When I was waiting for her I could feel my back sweating and overall lots of emotion. Tracy arrived and I finally understood why Mark was so obsessed with her. As she is definitely one of the most beautiful women I've seen. She's pretty on the pictures but personally she looks better.

[00:11:35] Tracy said hello to me and asking if I was willing to go to her house to talk. Since being outside for too long makes her really tired. We ordered some coffee to go and it was super awkward. So now let's talk about what she's told me. First of all she apologized for being the reason why now I'm single. Which I assured her is not her fault. Tracy said she received the invitation but was simply not interested in participating in our wedding. As she was already in a happy relationship.

[00:12:04] And it's pointless to see a person from the past. With the story Tom and Mark told me. I got curious and asked them about staying friends. As it sounded like she wanted to stay with him after the breakup. And it's the polar opposite of her behavior. Tracy was extremely uncomfortable with this question. But still explained to me why she said that. In the beginning she was really in love with Mark. Because he was her first love. She described him as a protector. Someone trustworthy. Handsome. And kind.

[00:12:34] As he always showered her in gifts and travels. Everything was fine and sweet. But over time Mark started to beg her for sex. So much to the point of her pretending to be sick to avoid him. She just didn't want to sleep with him. And had some sort of blockage. Like a sixth sense telling her not to do this. She was sick and tired about all of this. And used the fact that her parents are extremely religious. To justify why sex was off the charts. This led to a fight. Which Mark never told me. And them breaking up.

[00:13:03] But two weeks after. They started to talk again. As she felt in debt with him. As he helped her get a job in a prestigious company. And he spent a lot of money with her on trips. Food and presents. One of the gifts was a Rolex for her 18th birthday. Which made me mad. Since he never spent so much money on me. So when Tracy found out. Me and Mark were seeing each other. She felt relieved. And finally had a proper reason to block him everywhere. Since he was still sometimes hinting about them sleeping together. In the end.

[00:13:32] I told her in the entire relationship. Mark would sometimes talk about her. And in the beginning. It was kind of weird. But I just brushed it off. Since she was a part of his story. Oh I also talked about Mark's numerous accounts. And in the beginning. She didn't believe me. But I showed her the accounts I knew. Which was creepy. Since they all had female names. Followers and pictures. All of them look real. Her account is public. So I asked Tracy to make it private. She made a new account with her Korean name.

[00:14:01] And deactivated the old one. We had fun. And became friends. She is a really sweet person. And I saw how her boyfriend treated her like a queen. I'm happy she found love. And got rid of Mark. Mark. Absolutely. Getting rid of Mark. What a burk. But at the same time. It is hugely concerning. His behavior isn't it? Making multiple accounts. To the point of. He's actually set them up. To look like other women. Although OP said. This is their last update. And I really.

[00:14:30] I really hope it is. And I hope that Mark does leave them alone. It feels like his behavior. Could potentially escalate. It's worrying as it is. And some people in the comments. Were talking about the gift bombing. You know. The girl being 18 years old. And he's gifting her a Rolex. And taking her on trips. Etc. So I really hope that both of them. Take this guy seriously. For what he is. Because that is hugely concerning. But what do you guys make.

[00:14:59] Of this situation? Let us know your thoughts down. In the comments below. And let's move on to. Another story. Now. Our next story comes from. The Am I the Asshole. Subreddit from. Trio Daddyo. Who says. Am I the Asshole. For letting my son. Manscape. When my wife. Doesn't want him to. I try to keep it short. My wife and I. Have three boys. 17. 16. And 14. May the Lord.

[00:15:29] Have mercy on my soul. Actually. They are good guys. I was at Target. With my youngest. Tanner. We split for a while. And he shows back up. Asking if he could buy something. With his own money. It was a beard trimmer. I laughed. And told him. He didn't need that yet. He explained. Nope. Not for his face. He wanted it for downstairs. His older brothers. Both manscape. And he wanted to as well. But they couldn't loan their trimmers. I told him. Sure. I'd even buy it for him. Got home. And wife.

[00:15:59] Was not impressed. She didn't want him to have it. One excuse. After the other. He's not old enough. Sure he is. He didn't need it yet. Okay. True. He's not exactly taming a jungle. More like a small hedge. But if he wants to neaten things up. That's fine by me. I don't want more hair. All over their bathroom. Not an issue. The boys keep their bathroom clean. While me. Tanner. And the oldest Liam. Are pretty smooth. Middle boy Lucas. Somehow got the gorilla gene.

[00:16:27] He was a Sasquatch of 14. If he's not causing a problem. No one will. I told him. He could keep the trimmer. But wife seemed pursed. I did remind him. To keep the bathroom. Free of little hairs. Get brothers to help. And advise if needed. Or me. And don't make the mistake. Of going all Kojak. Below the belt. Liam made that mistake. A couple of years ago. With much itching. So. Am I the asshole. For disregarding my wife's opinion.

[00:16:59] Eh. I don't really see an issue. With it at all either. It just sounds like. It's one of those things. That mum's not like. Seeing her. A boy's. Growing up into men. Not in a horrible way. You know. But just like. Oh my baby's growing up. Kind of thing. But extinct Diplodocus. Says not the asshole. Your son wants to do it. And it's harmless. It's just hair. It would be nice. If your wife could come clean. With the actual reason. She's opposed. Does she regularly inspect that area. And wants it looking natural. If not. All of her stated reasons.

[00:17:28] Are specious. Yes. Opie says. No inspections. The boys aren't particularly shy. At all actually. But it's not like she sees him naked all that often. I think it's just because. He's the baby of the bunch. Doesn't want him to grow up. Or even feel older herself. Ad Independent says. I think you're right. I'm a mum of three. And it's bittersweet when the youngest takes the next step. Not the asshole. Louisa says. Not the asshole. I was 11 years old. And I was shaving downstairs without guidance.

[00:17:58] I was in early puberty. And the hairs were embarrassing. I made mistakes along the way. With no one to ask for assistance. Thank you for supporting your child. Opie says. Thank you. I know his brothers will help. If not. He knows he can ask me. The Toriel Dragon says. That's super nice. That you all stick together. And share info on this. Without making it taboo. Well done. Opie says. Yeah. They wouldn't be afraid to get up close and personal with each other about it.

[00:18:26] I'm sure there would be plenty of joking around and insults though. Sartorial Dragon says. That's sibling code. I don't make the rules. So Opie comes in with her update and says. Thanks everyone. I'm overwhelmed by all the comments. I only expected a few views and responses. I appreciate all who commented. I read them all. Even if I could not reply back to each. All's good here. Last night I talked with my wife. As many theorized.

[00:18:53] She is just wistful that the last baby bird is growing up. Although all are still in the nest. She knows none of them will be little boys forever. But she was and is such a good boy mum. That she's missing those times already. And had a not so great reaction. That's all there is to it. Thankfully. As for Tana. I went up to the oldest room where all three were hanging out. You never know where the posse of hooligans will be. Tana said. Check it out.

[00:19:23] Stood up and dropped his shorts in a flash. And yep. The hedge clippers had been at work. I told him. Great job. Looks good. He said. Liam had to do most of it. Liam shrugged. I'm very blessed that they all get along so well. And that the older two are excellent big brothers. Most of the time. To a couple of people who DM me. No. None of us are nudists or anything like that. Lol. But. They are definitely those. Never wear shirts guys.

[00:19:52] And when getting ready to go out. You never know which one. Or ones. Will be in the shower. The guys are just self assured. Maybe too much. And not a shy bone in their bodies. Years ago. Twice. My oldest. Who had long hair then. Went as Tarzan for Halloween. And my middle boy once went. To a neighborhood costume contest. As Michael Phelps. In nothing but a speedo. And eight gold medals around his neck. And this was years. After Phelps won. They keep me young. And make me very tired at the same time.

[00:20:22] Thanks everyone. Brown Bed says. Really late reply here. But. As an older brother. Whose single dad. Was really religious. And refused to have talks with us. Thanks for being so cool. And encouraging. I know it means the world to them. I had to step up. And be the dad for my brothers. And this included being a 10 year old. Trying to teach about keeping your foreskin clean. And at 16. The only one my brother could trust. When we had to go to the hospital. After a sexual experiment gone wrong. It was really really hard. Having to navigate.

[00:20:51] Trying to steer my brothers. On having a healthy relationship. To their bodies. And sex. When I was still going through shit myself. Having a dad like you. Would have helped a lot. And I'm glad. People like you. Exist. Opie says. Thanks. You're a great brother. Drama says. You're a great dad. And if I could be half the dad you are to my stepson. I'll be happy. Opie says. I appreciate that so much. I'm sure you can. And will be. You just gotta try. Some guys it seems. Don't even try to be good dads.

[00:21:21] Brothers man. It just brought me back to my. I've got three brothers as well. All older than me. And it has to be said. And two of my brothers still lived at home at this point. For whatever reason. I can't remember what it was. And one of them just brought home his new girlfriend. And I hadn't noticed they were in their room. And like I'm flying out the shower. Ran in to give my brother an elbow drop. And his girlfriend was in there as well. Had to do a quick 360.

[00:21:50] And run out of there butt naked. But anyway. Now I'm gonna turn this one to you guys. What do you guys make of this situation? Let us know your thoughts down in the comments below. Now just a huge thank you for being here today. Getting involved in the stories. Your love. Your support. Your time. Always means the absolute world to me. So thank you so so much. And hopefully I'll see you in the next one. Take care. And much love.