My Fiance Of 8 Years Is Now Refusing To Get Married r/Relationships

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[00:01:40] with the two of us and then get some pictures of the two of us and maybe do a party or something and I appreciate the responses. There were some relevant comments so Trillium Summer starts off with, How much did you push for him to get engaged? Because my spidey sense is saying that he wasn't so willing to go down on one knee. My bet, he doesn't want to get married. He caved to the engagement and now bashing the wedding is his latest way to delay and

[00:03:00] push it off.

[00:03:01] Opie says, I really didn't push.

[00:03:04] We've been living together for seven context, he does have mental health issues

[00:04:23] and doing big things tend to be overwhelming, which I get and that's why I don't generally

[00:04:28] expect a trend.

[00:05:41] They are things that I thought were upsetting at the time, but decided to move on from because

[00:05:46] they're little. me what I want to do for the day and I buy myself a gift. He's not a big thrills kind of guy, which I've never minded except this one thing. Maybe I'm asking for something he really isn't capable of doing. Now I can kind of understand you know not wanting to have because he claimed his reason for not agreeing to anything is mostly because of money. I think most of the comments were correct in that he never really wanted to get married. I called everything off, cancelled our appointment to do paperwork and returned the ring we bought.

[00:08:21] I'll have to deal with telling my co-workers, but I guess I'll google how to tell people

[00:08:25] without going into too much detail. That's it all for me. Then he calmed down and said he wants to get married because I'm his best friend and he loves me. I'm probably going to go to a friend's house with my parents today because the last time we broke up I ended up going back. He told me to pack and that he would get rid of my stuff if I didn't. Bootbiebop says this dude really wanted a PC as a dowry because he wasn't

[00:09:42] getting anything out of the marriage to which Duke Do understood, but he doesn't want to hyphenate his name. I asked him to clarify, thinking he didn't want our names to change, and he told me,

[00:11:01] the woman hyphenates a name, not the man.

[00:11:04] I was confused and clarified that we should my family is Hispanic, migrated here when my

[00:12:23] mum was 14.

[00:12:24] Nobody in my family really changed names but it was a couple getting together and they both had like hyphenated names and when they're getting married, it was like a four name hyphenation, if that makes sense. It was really confusing for me.

[00:13:40] But in this particular story, you know, you the recursion stop? Opie says, okay. So when we talked about kids, when we first started dating almost four years ago now, we both agreed that we'd take the approach of sons take the mother's last name and daughters

[00:15:02] would take the father's last name. to me or what our relationship is. Not exactly traditional in any sense but some arbitrary set of rules made up who knows how many ages ago and not how I choose to live my life. Dogs reading books says not the arsehole. That's not how it works. We're in 2023 not 1923. Many couples getting married nowadays hyphenate their names. It doesn't make sense

[00:16:23] that he gets mad that you won't hyphen then owned you. He went from your father's surname

[00:17:40] to your husband's surname. The wedding ring you wear used to only be for women because

[00:17:45] it showed other men that you're already the property of some other man. If he's not I dove right in and asked why he had such a problem with me keeping my name. He immediately apologized and admitted he overreacted and acted like a child. He even apologized for calling me obtuse and sad that it wasn't appropriate to call me names no matter what. He said he wasn't sure why it bothered him knowing how important my name is to me and he didn't communicate that very well.

[00:19:00] He told me it was worth 100% my choice if I wanted to keep my name and that his opinion

[00:19:04] didn't matter.

[00:19:05] He then asked about his, that's what I'm going to do as it was the option I was the happiest with. To get matching last names and to keep the last name that was so important to me. Once again thank you to everyone that commented and gave me their two cents. I hope there was a comment straight after this one from Hammersgirl who says so the

[00:20:23] compromise you were happiest with was him not compromising at all. down in the comments below. Just a huge thank you from the bottom of my heart for getting involved in today's stories. Your love, your support, your time always means the absolute world to me. So as always thank you so much for being here. It really does mean the world and I will see you in the next one. Take care and have much love.