My Father Left Us When He "Founded True Love" r/Relationships

[00:00:01] Hey Waffle Gang, I do hope you're well. My name is Mark and today we're checking out some more Reddit stories. And if you do love a Reddit story, why not consider hitting a like, subscribe, maybe that notification bell too. And let's crack on with today's first story. Much love guys.

[00:00:18] Now today's first story comes from BigPotential6074 from the true off my chest subreddit and it says my father left my family because he founded true love and he's now mad that I'm cutting him off out of my life forever. I never thought I would actually write this but here we go.

[00:00:35] I, 17 male and the oldest child of my family. My father, 44 male, my mother, 43 female and my little sister, 15 female. Throughout my life, I always loved my father and idolized him to the point of making him proud being my whole life purpose. In 2019, he had to immigrate to Europe to prepare our lives there and be away from our homeland forever.

[00:01:01] In 2022, we finally reunited with him and from there I thought it was the end of our struggling. But then after two years, he started acting funny. He got a job as a hotel driver and from there he changed completely. He stopped hanging out with me and my sister. He started coming late and then just eat and sleep. We felt so distant like he was trying to stay away from the house. My mother was the first to notice this and slowly their relationship began to break down.

[00:01:30] One day, one day I had a beach hangout with the school but when I was preparing I heard shouting and it was my parents fighting. Apparently, my father cheated on my mom with a single mom with two kids, 13 male and 6 female from Morocco since last January and this whole time he was spending time with this woman. Then my father, out of wrath, grabbed my mother's arm so hard that it was wounded badly, blocking blood flow and it got to the point where she picked up a knife and said,

[00:02:00] If you don't get out of my fucking house, I will kill you. And so he did. It was a hard thing to process and after this event two months later, he was slowly drifting away from our family responsibilities like paying the bills, school, etc. And it became obvious he no longer loves us. The annoying part is that he claims he still loves me and my sister and he will always be with us. We're not dumb enough to believe because if he actually did, then he would have at least participated in our responsibilities.

[00:02:30] I felt so lied to, so manipulated. I idolized this man. I saw him as my ultimate guider on how to win in life. And now he is nothing but a lustful man who will go for any woman who isn't my mother. Thankfully, we're in a much better state, especially my mother. We accepted that he is gone as dead, even began claiming that my father is pure dead if somebody asked.

[00:02:55] However, from time to time, he still tries to contact me and my sister and I don't know what to do. I also want to mention that my mother can easily file an order against him for assault using the photo she took of the wound he gave her. And also some threats in their old chats. But because all of us are devout Christians, my mother had mercy on him and refuses to press any charges. They are still not officially divorced and I don't know what to do about it.

[00:03:21] If anybody wants any information or has any advice in my situation, then I would truly appreciate it. Thank you. I know breakdowns in relationships happen all the time with kids, but reading about it, you know, this guy 17 years old and seeing and hearing this and what's gone on is absolutely heartbreaking. I personally couldn't imagine dealing with something like that at 17 years old, but simply breaking it down into the facts that you told us.

[00:03:50] It just tells us what kind of guy he actually is. He physically assaulted your mother badly enough that she had to threaten him to escape. He chose to abandon his financial responsibilities to his own children and then expects you to accept him having a whole new family whilst neglecting you.

[00:04:11] Claiming that he still loves you or showing zero support towards you and then is angry at you for having a natural reaction to, you know, his betrayal. And to me, and I know this sounds really shitty. It doesn't feel like he's angry about losing his family. It sounds like he's angry that everyone's not playing along with, you know, the fantasy in his head where he gets to start his new family without any consequences for abandoning his first one. It just feels like he wants to validate everything.

[00:04:41] And I would strongly advise your mother that she document everything that happened with the assault and also his financial responsibilities towards his children as well. A user says to OP in quotes, but because all of us are devout Christians, my mother had mercy on him and refused to press any charges. And then says, I'm a Christian. And I urge you to consider that forgiveness does not mean freedom from consequences.

[00:05:07] Forgiveness is a gift that is given to someone who repents and changes their ways. But to fail to hold someone accountable who has not repented and changed only gives them a license to further harm others. I firmly believe this is not God's intention as it does nothing to further the kingdom of heaven on earth. Consider your safety and your mother's safety. Pursue the order. OP says, thank you for clarifying. I should probably tell my mom the same thing.

[00:05:34] But from a logical perspective, he isn't living with us and he has no information on us nor the house. He has the keys to the house, sure. But nonetheless, it wasn't any harm after this incident. This incident happened in June of 2024. So it would have been just a useless effort considering we have other problems to deal with. But thank you so much for your advice. Erin Mandaz says, I'm so sorry for the shitty situation that your father's actions have put you and your family in.

[00:06:01] And I commend you all on coming together to protect your mother's safety and dignity. And trying to succeed in life. I also understand the strong urge to leave sleeping dogs lie. And not wanting to pursue a divorce between your parents due to the discomfort and unpleasantness that facing him again would entail. However, in addition to what the previous comment has said about forgiveness does not mean that you don't hold one accountable for their actions. Please also consider the legal ramifications of your mother continuing to stay married to him.

[00:06:32] I'm not sure which country you live in. But being the legally married spouse of a person gives the other spouse several rights and privileges. For example, if your parents co-owned the house you live in and your mother passed away, suddenly in an accident without leaving a last will and testament, your father would automatically inherit the title to the house. Or if your mother were to get seriously ill to the point she was hospitalized and unable to make decisions, your father as the spouse might get the right to make such decisions on her behalf.

[00:07:00] Including whether or not to disconnect life support systems, etc. ahead of you and your sister. The above are just some scenarios and may not be accurate based on where you live. But that's all the more reason for you and your mother to consult a divorce lawyer and at least talk through the pros and cons and ramifications of choosing to stay married versus suing for divorce. Good luck and I hope things turn out for the best for you. Opie responds saying, The house isn't owned by us.

[00:07:29] It's rented by my father's friend who we pay him a monthly amount. We all live in Spain but my parents were married in their homeland, Egypt. So their marriage is only recognized on paper. That can be undone by the divorce. However, in one of your scenarios, if my mother was hospitalized or even dead, without the divorce me and my sister would legally be forced to live with him as he still holds custody. Right now we aren't financially ready to file a divorce, nor we know how it works in Spain.

[00:07:57] But my mother thankfully considering the divorce when the time comes, but sadly not considering filing a police report and I don't know why. So sometime later, Opie comes in with an update and says, Hello everyone. Last month I made a post on how my father left me and my family for a single mother and how he is mad that I don't love him anymore. Well sadly, this isn't a positive update. Turned out my father wasn't paying my sister's school bills last month and all this time the school kept my sister out of pity.

[00:08:27] But now it's getting very serious. It's been proven over and over again that he isn't involved in our lives and needs. The logical conclusion would be that we file a report against him for child negligence. However, because we're so financially stuck to the point where it's sickening. I try my best to stay strong for both of them, but I don't know how much I can take. To add insult to injury, he gets offended when I disrespected him and ghosted me for disrespecting your father.

[00:08:56] At this point, I want to choke him to death. I don't know how we can stand on our feet in order to file for divorce and make him pay. I'm so sorry that the update wasn't positive, but I promise to let you guys know if anything got together. Also, thanks to everyone who advised on the consideration of divorce. My mother finally agreed to it, but sadly, we can't go as far as reporting to the police for the assault back in June. As the case will likely drop, and like I said, we don't have the money.

[00:09:24] Again, thanks to everyone who was concerned, and I promise for an update in the future. Another commenter said to OP, saying, Is there any way you can legally make him support you guys financially? I don't know how the system works in Spain, but especially since your sister is under 18, he should be obligated to pay to support his children. MIL says both child support and alimony exist in Spain. I don't understand why OP's mom hasn't started the process for these yet. She needs to think of the kids first,

[00:09:53] even if her soon-to-be ex-husband has left her feeling like shit. And Famous Cash says, She's so Christian, she's putting her pride over her children. OP says, Not really. We are so financially stuck, let alone the fact that she is busy looking for a job since she became unemployed because of him. She considered the divorce, though, just not the timing. Because my parents got married in Egypt, in Egyptian law, there is something called a child support. The father can fight for custody,

[00:10:21] but he isn't obligated to pay anything. The Spanish government only recognized my parents' marriage, but they can't judge them based on their laws due to them still being immigrants. And OP came in with another update, which said, Hello everyone. I want to make this quick update before going offline for Christmas. Before I begin, I would like to thank everybody who corrected me and informed me about some of Spain's divorce policy. I'm truly grateful. I would like to apologize to anyone who got confused by my post.

[00:10:49] I want to highlight that I wasn't very knowledgeable in how the system works in the EU, and some even doubted my story because of it. These details my mother doesn't usually talk about, so I'm not quite in it. Again, my apologies for my misinformation. About the update. It is finally official. My mother will be getting a divorce and possibly the child support also. My mother has connections to people who have another connections with lawyers, counselors, etc.

[00:11:17] I'm not sure when the court case will happen, but it will. I'm also not sure if she will file the police report for the assault back in June. However, I'm still grateful. She is even taking driving lessons in order to get a driving license and possibly a car by January. I'm truly happy. We are still financially stuck and my family back in Egypt, my father's side, of course took his side. And I was forced to cut contact with my cousins. Although, I love them.

[00:11:44] And it still looks like Christmas is gonna be hella lonely. But at least shit is getting itself together. I'll update you all on when the court case will happen. Again, thanks to everyone who was concerned. I'm truly grateful. Merry Christmas. And one comment on this one said, good for you for standing up for your mother. Bless you. Edit. Remember what his leaving did to your family. Use this lesson to create a beautiful, stable family for yourself. Treat your wife and kids better one day.

[00:12:14] I'm super glad things are looking a little better for that family. It sounds like the mom is starting to make more positive decisions for her family. And absolutely. And I can just hope that we see an update one day in the future that they are much better off. I certainly hope that they have done things like change the locks, etc. on their home. Because I wouldn't trust a guy who's willing to lay his hands on his wife like that. I don't think he'd question doing it again.

[00:12:42] But what do you guys make of this situation? Let us know your thoughts down in the comments below. And let's move on to another story. Now our next story comes from Good Surprise Gone Bad from the Today I Fucked Up subreddit. And says, Today I fucked up when I, 25 male, learned the language my girlfriend, 22, speaks when she gossips with her friends. My girlfriend is South African.

[00:13:10] Her native language is Afrikaans. I've been learning how to speak Afrikaans without my girlfriend knowing. I secretly applied for online courses that I've been using on and off for more than a year now. My plan was to surprise my girlfriend and her family with my American Afrikaans when I finally meet her parents in person for the first time later this year.

[00:13:30] I never intended to eavesdrop or anything, but learning Afrikaans in secret accidentally exposed me to sensitive information that my girlfriend was sharing on the phone with her Afrikaans-speaking friends from South Africa. It was gossip I was not supposed to understand, but eventually I did. This is what I've heard the past few months. One, my girlfriend is planning to surprise me on my birthday by reuniting with a high school metal band and putting on a show for me.

[00:13:57] Two, my girlfriend wants to tattoo the names of literally all the Harry Potter spells on her back, but she doesn't know how to tell me because she's afraid I'll talk her out of it. Three, my girlfriend casually mentioned that one of the unexpected differences between her glasses and her contact lenses is that when she's on her knees looking up at me with her glasses on. Oh dear, my penis looks much bigger compared to what it looks like through her contact lenses, which is why she's keeping her glasses on during sex. Ouch.

[00:14:27] Four, my girlfriend is convinced that my parents are swingers because apparently they are always attractive couples hanging out at my mom and dad's house whenever we visit. Five, my girlfriend secretly finished the entire series of medical soul without me, even though we agreed to finish it together. So now she's pretending to have no idea how the show ends. Six, my girlfriend is thinking about cancelling the high school metal band reunion for my birthday because she's no longer sure if it's appropriate to team up with two of her exes that are original members of the band.

[00:14:57] Seven, my girlfriend expects her dad not to like me. I would have preferred not knowing most of those things to be honest, but there is no way for me to unlearn Afrikaans, so I'm cursed with knowing too much while having to pretend I know nothing. Seven, my girlfriend is what I'm saying. Monster in my wardrobe says the OP, the punishment for forbidden knowledge is knowing. Lol. Keep it a secret, when she asks you about it you just say, I'm speaking Afrikaans the whole time.

[00:15:23] OP says or I'll deflect and just be like, Better Call Saul, is there anything you would like to tell me honey? Sweetheart, light of my life. Noondred says, watch Better Call Saul to the end, look at her and say, that was really good in Afrikaans. Global Cattle says, ah, that wasn't all that bad. Honestly thought this was going to be much worse than it was. OP says, far away from sea bat. Oh dear.

[00:15:53] And nowhere near the coconut dude lies my mild fuck up. I've never read the coconut dude on here and I never will. Do not read it guys, do not read it. Four months later, it is grim. Four months later, OP comes in with an update and says the following happened since my original post. One, I asked my girlfriend to marry me in Afrikaans and she said, yeah.

[00:16:17] Two, I delivered my I want to spend the rest of my life with you speech in Afrikaans, which surprised and impressed my girlfriend, aka my fiance. Three, as soon as my girlfriend became my fiance, I casually mentioned that I've been secretly learning her native language and accidentally been eavesdropping on several phone call conversations she had with her Afrikaans speaking friends about things I was not supposed to understand.

[00:16:41] Like, for example, her feeling conflicted about reuniting with her original high school band members for my birthday. Because the band apparently included two of her exes. Or the fact that she wanted to tattoo literally all the Harry Potter spells on her back. Or that she finished Better Call Saul without me. Or that she thought that my mom and dad were swingers. Or the real reason why her glasses are always on during sex. Or that she's convinced that her dad would hate me. Or some of the stuff she's had to her friends after my original post.

[00:17:09] Like how she was struggling to get used to my braces. Because the braces in my mouth, plus the freckles on my face, somehow made me look underaged. And low-key made her feel like she's my older sister when we're out in public. Just before we carry on, I had to do a Google. Because that's stuck in my head. That she wants all the Harry Potter spells on her back. I just Googled and it says there's over 90. Holy shit. That tattooist is going to have to use an 8 point font at this stage. But Thor says, My fiance was embarrassed when she realized how much Afrikaans I was able to understand.

[00:17:38] And apologized if she made me feel uncomfortable. 5. I accepted her apology. Even though it was unnecessary. Well, except for finishing Better Call Saul behind my back. That was a playing with fire moment in our relationship. Almost unforgivable. 6. My fiance got one of the Harry Potter spells on her back. Erecto Patronum? I'm kidding. They said I'm kidding. Thank God. I wasn't sure. I didn't know Harry Potter spells. But I was like, hold up. I stole that from another story.

[00:18:06] My fiance is still considering getting her back tattooed. I said it was her choice. But I advised her to avoid covering her entire back with Harry Potter spells. Like she's some kind of Death Eater Michael Schofield. 7. My fiance might be right about her dad not liking me. Because his expression of disappointment and dread when he heard the news of our engagement was priceless. That said, I'll win him over though. Even if it kills him. Jokes.

[00:18:32] 8. My fiance fully believes my parents are swingers based on the different couples she's occasionally observed coming and going whenever we visited my mom and dad. She wants us to investigate my parents because for some reason it's fun for her to imagine me being the son of a mom and dad whose sex life is far more kinky than mine. I'm not interested in opening that door though. Because I don't want to know what goes on in my mom and dad's bedroom. However, something tells me that my fiance will not rest until she has all the answers.

[00:19:01] 9. I made it clear to my fiance that I had no problem with her reuniting with a high school band to perform at my birthday. Unless it was uncomfortable for her that her exes were part of the band. My fiance ultimately decided to cancel the band because of behind the scenes drama. The drummer, who was one of the exes, apparently gained a lot of weight after high school and lost all confidence to perform in the band. The lead guitarist, aka the other ex, was only willing to participate if my fiance agreed to play covers of gospel songs.

[00:19:31] Since he was now saved and no longer interested in playing the devil's music. The bass guitarist wanted money. Simple. 10. My fiance still wears her glasses during sex. Oof. 10. Edit. To all the accounts saying this is a repost, it's not. It's an update to my original post from a few months ago. Check my history. It's my story. From the comments, SRS Goblin says the bass player knows what's up. Never play for free.

[00:20:00] Musicianship 101. Not So Holy says, none of these things seem to be very damaging to a relationship. Your girlfriend actually seemed considerate. Wanting to surprise you but not knowing if it will hurt you and worry about how her family will like you. Could be a hell of a lot worse. And of course, never worry about the penis thing. Not the size, but how you use it, right? Kamikaze says, except that she watched all of Bettercore Saw without him. That's just downright rude.

[00:20:28] 17 months later, Opie comes in with an update and says, The last time I was here, I shared an update related to my original post. But I deleted that update because I was keen to tell the internet, aka all of you, that my girlfriend and I got engaged. However, since then, we've not only gotten ourselves unengaged, we've actually broken up. In my original post, my ex-girlfriend, who was still my girlfriend back then, had a wild theory that my mom and dad were swingers just because they always had people at their house.

[00:20:55] I never believed it, but I thought it was hilarious that someone thought my parents were that interesting. Not gonna lie, I struggled to move on after my relationship ended. My apartment had too many memories of my ex, so I called my parents to ask if I could stay with them for a bit, just to clear my head. Oh dear. My parents, here we go. My parents said yes. My dad offered to pick me up, which I accepted.

[00:21:19] What should have been a 10-minute drive unexpectedly turned into a 45-minute drive because my dad decided to take the longer route back to his house. When my dad was done making dad jokes to help me get over my breakup, he started doing that weird dad thing where he's trying to bring up an awkward topic. But it's too uncomfortable for him to just spit it out. So he ends up saying a bunch of words that only he understands. But I mean, I don't think only he understands. I think we all understand where this is gonna go.

[00:21:46] I was forced to interrupt my dad and basically beg him to make sense. My dad said it was unclear how long I was gonna stay. He felt compelled to prepare me for what I might see at the house. If my ex was present at that moment, she would have punched me on the shoulder and said, I fucking told you. Because my dad confirmed a swinger theory. Which no longer made it a theory, but the truth. Or as I like to call it, trauma. By the time my dad and I finally made it to our destination,

[00:22:15] my dad made sure I knew everything I needed to know. I made a list based on what I learned from my dad. One, both my parents were swingers when they met. Two, swinging was not something my parents wanted to do while raising kids. So swinging was prohibited when my parents became parents. Three, to see if they still got it. My parents switched back to swinging when they had the house to themselves again. And lo and behold, they still got it. Four, hosting swinger parties was something my parents did frequently.

[00:22:45] Usually with themes. Five, my parents were planning to host another swinger party. But my mum was leaning towards calling it off so that I could come home and stay for as long as I wanted. Six, if my parents were forced to cancel. It would be the first swinger party they called off since COVID. Seven, the theme was prom night. Five, my parents were forced to cancel. I never expected my dad to go that hard and enter the too much information category. But as soon as he crossed that threshold, he got it all out of his system.

[00:23:13] I stayed with my parents for a total of two days before it became abundantly clear to me that knowledge might be power for some people. But for me, knowledge was fucking punishment. My mum, who was unaware that I low-key knew she was a swinger mum, attempted to convince me to stay longer. And she almost succeeded. But I was done with my dad using our father-son bonding time to play guess which one of our neighbours are also swingers. I used an Uber to get back to my apartment. No more dad rides.

[00:23:40] I've never been so happy to return to a place that was haunted by my failed relationship. An OP adds some information about why the relationship ended. They said my ex and I broke up because of a tattoo. Her friend passed away, which prompted her to literally get his name tattooed on the back of her neck. Her friend was someone my ex used to sleep with before she met me. I made it clear to her prior to the tattoo that I understood that it was her body to do whatever she wanted. But as someone who was prepared to be with her forever,

[00:24:09] it was gonna be uncomfortable for me to see another guy's name on her body for the rest of our lives. Especially the name of a dead guy she had casual sex with. My ex got the tattoo anyway. The tattoo was small and barely visible. That was her defence. I knew it was there. That was enough. Too much information in come and be warned. It was also very fucking visible in doggy style position. Sorry for the too much information.

[00:24:34] We argued about the tattoo until we eventually said enough hurtful things that could never be unsaid. Clearly the tattoo was worth losing me because the tattoo is still there and I'm not. Second creative says to the OP, I can't stay here. Too many sad memories. Two days later, Save me from the horrible things I now know. Sad memories. OP says, I would gladly relive the pain of my relationship getting napalm, then listen to my dad make up synonyms for swingers like,

[00:25:04] like no, no monogamo. The real sick says, Don't tell your ex the no, no monogamo. She might add it to the list of spells she wants tattooed on her back. Relevant reference says, How much of their decor is pineapple themed? OP says, A few comments in my previous post made me aware of the meaning behind the pineapple in the swinger community. So I've actually been on the lookout for anything that so much as remotely resembled a pineapple whenever I was with my parents. But to this day,

[00:25:34] That being said, Based on what I know now, Thanks to my father, I actually won't be surprised if my parents were literally living in a pineapple house like Spongebob's, That only the other swingers could see. Thanks for that. That's cursed Spongebob episodes for me for the rest of my life. And shit, I didn't even know about it. I had to Google it. Google says pineapples, On cruise ships, Starts off with, And on land, Are used as a secret symbol for swingers to identify each other. A pineapple badge, Piece of clothing,

[00:26:03] Or stuck on someone's door can mean they're looking for a partner swap or using it as an invitation to a swinger party. Holy shit, What if you're just a big fan of pineapples? I'm gonna be looking out for pineapples wherever I go now. Damn flabbit. Some poor sod walking past me with a pineapple tie on. That's a swinger. Oh no. Even the imaginary people in my head are already being accused. Anyway, Let's leave it there. What do you guys make of this situation?

[00:26:31] Let us know your thoughts down in the comments below. And just a huge thank you for being here today. Getting involved in the stories, Your love, Your support, Your time. It always means the absolute world to me. So thank you so, So much. And hopefully, I'll see you in the next one. Take care. And much love.