My Father-In-Law Is FURIOUS We Want To Adopt Our Teenage Foster Daughter r/Relationships

[00:00:02] Hey Waffle Gang, I do hope you are well. My name is Mark and today we're checking out some more Reddit Stories. And if you do love a Reddit Story, why not consider in the like, subscribe, maybe that notification bell too. And let's crack on with today's first story. Much love guys.

[00:00:20] Now today's first story comes from Finpin from the Relationship Advice subreddit and says, My wife and I want to adopt our teenage foster daughter. The father-in-law is furious about it. And there is a trigger warning on this one of mentions of child sexual abuse. So as always, if you want to skip the story, please feel free to do so. Timestamps are always down in the description and along the timeline below. Thank you.

[00:00:46] My wife and I have two biological teenage sons. One older and one younger than our foster daughter. We've been fostering kids for many years, but the goal has always been to reunify the kids with their parents, which has happened successfully each time until now. Two years ago, we took in our foster daughter, now mid-teens. She has been through a lot and was labeled as a troubled kid and not adoptable. I won't go into details, but the issue in this matter is that we're not going to be able to adopt our children.

[00:01:20] We were informed by authorities about all of this before, so it's not like this came as a surprise after we got to know her. I'm not going to lie. It has not been easy. Our family has seen a struggle, but almost everyone has been super supportive. The first five to six months were the hardest. She didn't trust us and she was angry at the world. Rightfully so.

[00:01:44] Then one random night, I got up in the middle of the night and unintentionally ended up scaring her shitless and she had a full-blown panic attack. She was okay after a little while, but it was like something clicked for her that night. It was like she realized that we were on her side and we watched her change from this angry and sad little girl to the ambitious young teenager we know today. It started with her telling us thank you for everything we did. Small things like driving her to practice and she said it with a smile on her face.

[00:02:14] It was so amazing to see her feeling better and not so lonely anymore. From there, everything changed. She made new friends and got a lot closer to my sons, especially the older one. Her grades went from failing multiple classes to getting straight A's.

[00:02:28] Not because we were nagging her, but because she wanted to. Each member of our household has developed a good and strong relationship with her and the love we have for this girl cannot be put into words.

[00:02:40] We've reached that cosmic connection. She still struggles with a few things, which is totally fair after all she's been through, but she's working on it and we're supporting her in every way we can.

[00:02:52] Overall, she's doing amazing. She's so strong and I'm very proud of her.

[00:02:57] We made the decision to fight the system to change their verdict from non-adoptable to available for conditional adoption because we want to commit to her for life.

[00:03:06] We want to adopt her. Last month, we got the call that they changed their verdict and we sent in our papers that we were already ready and things are looking very promising.

[00:03:17] The thing is, we haven't told her yet. She knows that she is now adoptable, but we haven't asked her if she wants us to officially adopt her yet.

[00:03:24] My wife and I have talked to our sons about it and they're fully on board.

[00:03:28] We talked to my parents, our brothers and sisters and their spouses.

[00:03:32] All of them have a good relationship with our daughter and every single one of them is so supportive of our decision and willing to fully welcome our daughter into our family.

[00:03:41] Then there is wife's parents. Mother-in-law hasn't been awful, I guess, but maybe it's because I'm comparing what she said to what father-in-law said.

[00:03:50] We told them about our plan and asked them about their opinion.

[00:03:54] Mother-in-law asked if we're sure as our daughter doesn't quite fit in.

[00:03:58] My wife and I didn't understand at all since our daughter has a very similar personality as we and our sons do.

[00:04:05] But it turns out she's concerned about the visual side of it as she's clearly not our biological child.

[00:04:11] And people will start asking questions.

[00:04:13] The thing is, my wife, myself and our sons are very tall.

[00:04:16] Our daughter is not.

[00:04:18] She is tiny compared to us and has a similar eye color but not the exact same.

[00:04:23] All five of us have the same skin tone and colored and textured hair.

[00:04:27] And I think it matters at all.

[00:04:29] But the stupidity of it is unreal.

[00:04:32] Apart from height, she could pass as our biological daughter.

[00:04:35] So I'm starting to think this is a lame excuse for something else.

[00:04:39] I told her that people would ask questions no matter what.

[00:04:42] Because even if her daughter was a spitting image of my wife, it's not like she suddenly gave birth to a teenager two years ago.

[00:04:49] And the answer to any question is very simple.

[00:04:52] She's adopted.

[00:04:54] Ta-da!

[00:04:54] It's not like it could ever become a secret now.

[00:04:57] So I don't get it.

[00:04:58] Mother-in-law didn't say much after that but it was very clear she was not on board.

[00:05:03] Father-in-law hadn't said anything but he didn't seem excited at all.

[00:05:07] I asked for his opinion and he just stared at us for a minute and then he said,

[00:05:11] Don't do this to yourself and your family.

[00:05:14] It's safe to say I was confused but I had no idea what to say.

[00:05:17] After a few more seconds he went off.

[00:05:20] He started talking about their family name and he didn't want that ruined by a little whore.

[00:05:24] And what a prick.

[00:05:27] And what people would think if they saw these images floating around on the internet.

[00:05:31] I was stunned.

[00:05:33] My wife couldn't find any words either and started crying before she just left.

[00:05:38] I didn't say a word while father-in-law finished ranting but a thousand thoughts went through my head.

[00:05:43] Eventually he stopped talking and I still had trouble finding any words to say.

[00:05:48] I just told him,

[00:05:49] You are sick.

[00:05:50] And I left too.

[00:05:52] My wife is destroyed after hearing what her father thinks about our daughter.

[00:05:56] We have no idea how they know about these images as we haven't told anyone about it.

[00:06:01] I'm 100% certain my wife didn't tell them as the relationship is not that great.

[00:06:06] My wife is closer to my mother than her own so that wouldn't make sense.

[00:06:11] We've tried to hide this from the kids since this happened.

[00:06:13] But my older son sensed something was very wrong and asked about it.

[00:06:17] I told him our conversation with in-laws about adopting our daughter didn't go very well.

[00:06:22] And they weren't supportive.

[00:06:24] He wanted to know why.

[00:06:26] I told him I couldn't tell him but that it was serious and promised to talk to him about it in a few years when he's an adult.

[00:06:32] And I assured him that our daughter didn't do anything wrong.

[00:06:35] Our plans haven't changed and that it's father-in-law who is being unreasonable.

[00:06:39] My son told me that our daughter told him a few months ago that she didn't think in-laws liked her very much.

[00:06:45] Especially father-in-law.

[00:06:47] This happened two days ago and we haven't spoken to them since.

[00:06:51] I'm not sure I even want to try to be honest.

[00:06:53] For me this is going no contact worthy.

[00:06:56] I want nothing to do with them.

[00:06:58] My wife is in pieces and has mentioned that she doesn't want them in her life after this.

[00:07:02] This has tainted our adoption experience for sure.

[00:07:05] I'm afraid though that if we piss father-in-law off even more that he will start talking to our family about these images.

[00:07:11] I do realize that it will look like a pig in everyone's eyes.

[00:07:14] But I would like to spare our daughter from everyone knowing about what's out there.

[00:07:18] I usually talk to my mother about heavy stuff in life.

[00:07:21] But I cannot talk to her about this without feeling like I'm exposing my daughter by telling my mother more than I want for my daughter's sake.

[00:07:28] Internet strangers.

[00:07:29] I have no idea what to do from here.

[00:07:31] How do I go about the situation with father-in-law without creating more mess than absolutely necessary for my daughter?

[00:07:38] Edit to add just to be very clear.

[00:07:40] There's no doubt in our minds that we still want to ask for our daughter's permission to adopt her.

[00:07:44] Our relationship with our daughter will not change no matter what father-in-law does or does not do.

[00:07:50] I realized from the first couple of comments that it became unclear after the father-in-law incident.

[00:07:55] Sorry about that.

[00:07:57] Edit to add four hours later.

[00:07:58] I'm glad to see that I'm not the only one possibly or hopefully reading too much into this.

[00:08:03] I think you have verified I'm not crazy.

[00:08:05] My wife and I had a brief talk after I posted and have decided to talk to her brothers and sister first about father-in-law's comments.

[00:08:12] It'll be a hard conversation but it needs to happen.

[00:08:15] Before I could get to it, my wife told me that she wants to report the situation with her father knowing about the images of our daughter.

[00:08:21] Right now we don't know what that looks like but it has simply not been possible for him to gain this knowledge legally.

[00:08:27] There is a culprit for sure but we will leave that to the authorities for now.

[00:08:31] Thank you for giving me a reality check and thank you for your encouragement.

[00:08:36] We need it right now.

[00:08:37] Oh dearie me.

[00:08:39] The start of that story had me in absolute tears when OP was talking about the first five to six months being the hardest and when she had the panic attack and she was okay and then things turned around for her and she began smiling and feeling better.

[00:08:55] And it's just after everything that poor girl has been through.

[00:08:58] And what absolute wonderful lovely people OP and the close family are.

[00:09:04] An OP side of the family as well.

[00:09:06] Father-in-law fucking hell.

[00:09:08] When he said don't do this to yourself and our family and it's about like the family name.

[00:09:13] Why would you want to be associated with a family name with a scumbag like that at the head of it?

[00:09:17] And what he called her as well.

[00:09:19] I'm not sure I'd be able to compose myself in that situation.

[00:09:22] But absolutely no contact is the way to go.

[00:09:25] Bunny says I think your decision to adopt or not isn't going to be the trigger for father-in-law to tell people.

[00:09:31] If that was his goal he probably has already started telling people.

[00:09:34] I think you should remove father-in-law from your decision making process and just worry about what's right for your family.

[00:09:40] And I agree.

[00:09:41] This is definitely a good reason to go no contact.

[00:09:44] Another commenter says personally I'd call the cops and ask them to find out how father-in-law knew about his daughter's abuse pictures.

[00:09:50] Kel says in what state do they label kids legally as anonymous?

[00:09:55] What do you mean the parents rights were terminated now?

[00:09:58] And you're just using really strange language to describe the legal status.

[00:10:02] Opie says no the parents rights were terminated many years ago.

[00:10:05] To my knowledge not adoptable is not a legal label anywhere.

[00:10:09] But I could be wrong.

[00:10:10] In our agency my understanding is available for adoption means that Cakesworker is actively looking for adoptive parents for these kids.

[00:10:17] Not adoptable are kids that the agency deems to be too risky to place permanently with a family because of one thing or another or kids that do not want to be adopted.

[00:10:27] So the Cakesworker is not looking for adoptive parents for these kids.

[00:10:31] Our daughter was in this group because she was completely closed off and non-cooperative.

[00:10:35] She was angry and hated everyone and everything and did not want to be adopted.

[00:10:41] Available for conditional adoption, Cakesworker looks for adoptive parents.

[00:10:45] But the kids usually have some sort of ongoing issues and are harder to find parents for.

[00:10:49] In our case it's really important for our daughter to follow up on her for years to come.

[00:10:54] Because for example the risk of her becoming depressed or suicidal later because of her past is relatively very high.

[00:11:01] If we adopt her both we and a therapist are required to report back to the agency every 4 months.

[00:11:06] About how she is doing until she's 18.

[00:11:09] And if she's not doing well and we're not getting her the help she needs the agency has the legal right to intervene.

[00:11:14] Oh and for the adoption to even go through to begin with there are several extra requirements for us as a family compared to what is standard.

[00:11:23] So OP comes in with that update and says I wasn't prepared for my last post to blow up like it did.

[00:11:28] I'm so thankful for everyone's support.

[00:11:30] It can be hard to see how a messy situation is when you're in the middle of it and so emotionally involved as I am.

[00:11:37] So I appreciate everyone pointing out a lot of worrying details.

[00:11:40] These last few days have been a whirlwind.

[00:11:43] I've realized how messed up the situation is but at the same time people around us have shown how far they're willing to go to protect our little girl and how loved she is.

[00:11:52] I've got a lot of questions and this will be a long one but I will answer as best as I can.

[00:11:56] I'll break things up a little for clarity.

[00:11:59] In-laws and wife siblings

[00:12:01] My wife and I decided to cut the in-laws off completely.

[00:12:04] There is no coming back from this.

[00:12:06] We talked to her siblings about it to give them our side before they hear father-in-law's messed up version.

[00:12:11] We told them what our daughter has been through without giving details of course.

[00:12:16] They don't normally show emotion that much.

[00:12:18] It's just how they were raised.

[00:12:19] But even my oldest brother-in-law who is the toughest of them had to dry his eyes a few times during the conversation.

[00:12:26] Understandably we told them what happened with the in-laws when we talked to them about adopting our daughter and they were pissed.

[00:12:32] They agreed that this needed to be reported and brother-in-laws wanted to be included in what was going on from there.

[00:12:38] Father-in-law and illegal situation

[00:12:41] Long story short both mother-in-law and father-in-law went in for questioning.

[00:12:45] But now it looks like this happened through gossip.

[00:12:48] I'm not exactly sure if the authorities have figured out all the details yet but I will stand back and let them do their job.

[00:12:53] Some of you mentioned that child victims of these sort of crimes are often moved to new environments for their own safety and protection.

[00:13:00] This is the case with our daughter.

[00:13:02] But if there are leakages in the system all that work will be for nothing and the children are promised a second chance at a normal life will have their whole lives ruined once again.

[00:13:11] That means this is a much bigger issue than this one incident.

[00:13:15] LE slash investigators are taking this very seriously and we do trust them.

[00:13:19] Father-in-law's explanation and electronics

[00:13:23] My brother-in-laws and I tried to talk to father-in-law about his opinion of my daughter.

[00:13:27] He did repeat what he said the other day and doubled down.

[00:13:30] Father-in-law did use God and the Bible for a lot of reasons for his opinion.

[00:13:35] I don't want to blame religion because I know a lot of religious people who are amazing human beings

[00:13:40] and none of them would ever say gross stuff like this.

[00:13:43] Oldest brother-in-law gave father-in-law a lecture.

[00:13:45] He was told that it's more than enough that father-in-law's children think he is a misogynistic piece of shit.

[00:13:51] They don't need to think he's also a predator prying on young children.

[00:13:54] There may or may not have been a threat or two mentioned about exposure.

[00:13:58] Seriously, this man, brother-in-law, is the calmest, most loving human I have ever met.

[00:14:03] Every child in the family loves this guy.

[00:14:06] I've known him for almost 20 years but that night he showed a side of him I have never seen before.

[00:14:11] I would have pissed myself if he was in my face like he was in father-in-law's.

[00:14:15] Father-in-law willingly gave LAE every single piece of electronic device to clear his name.

[00:14:20] Even every VHS tape was given up.

[00:14:23] If everything is clear, he'll be given everything back.

[00:14:26] So hopefully he doesn't have anything to worry about.

[00:14:29] My lovely wife.

[00:14:30] I'm not gonna lie, my wife is struggling.

[00:14:33] She's in pieces after a parent's reaction.

[00:14:36] They are wrong in every way possible and have been wrong in many other ways through the years.

[00:14:41] But it seems like this was her breaking point.

[00:14:43] Like she realized that there is no hope that her parents will ever become the parent she wished for.

[00:14:48] My parents have always known her relationship with her parents wasn't great.

[00:14:51] They have stepped up for her a little differently than my siblings' partners.

[00:14:55] My wife has a good relationship with my parents.

[00:14:58] And I did give them a little heads up.

[00:15:00] That there is stuff going on and my wife is struggling.

[00:15:03] My mother has been coming by every day just to check in.

[00:15:07] To talk and to give my wife an extra hug.

[00:15:10] She made dinner a few times when we were busy.

[00:15:12] And my father has been giving the kids rides to either school or practice slash games every day.

[00:15:17] They've taken a huge load of stress off my wife and me.

[00:15:20] And we could concentrate on what is going on right now without worrying about the kids.

[00:15:24] After a few days we told them how inappropriately my father and her have been talking about our daughter.

[00:15:29] My parents know about our daughter's essay but nothing more and no details.

[00:15:34] And that we're cutting them off for good.

[00:15:37] My parents are awesome.

[00:15:38] And they love my wife almost more than me.

[00:15:40] And promised her to step in.

[00:15:42] Not just for the kids but for her as well.

[00:15:44] So in time I believe my wife will be okay.

[00:15:47] We will get through this together.

[00:15:49] My wife and her siblings.

[00:15:51] I don't like the saying the apple doesn't fall far from the tree.

[00:15:54] My wife and her siblings are the total opposites of their parents.

[00:15:58] They're amazing people and they're raising their kids to be amazing people.

[00:16:01] Their parents suck.

[00:16:03] But they came together and broke the circle.

[00:16:05] Sometimes the apple rolls away from the tree.

[00:16:08] The rest of the extended family.

[00:16:10] My wife and I are both close with all of our siblings.

[00:16:13] And we do live in a relatively small enough town that everyone knows everything about everyone because of gossip.

[00:16:19] So we sort of had to include my siblings and our sibling spouses.

[00:16:22] We told them a very short version of what was going on.

[00:16:25] That yes we are cutting the in-laws off because they are not supportive of our decision to adopt our daughter.

[00:16:31] And father-in-law had said some very rude and inappropriate stuff about our daughter and mother-in-law was on his side.

[00:16:37] But out of respect for our daughter to please not ask questions without reasons.

[00:16:41] And we encouraged everyone to come to us directly if there are any rumors or anything going on.

[00:16:46] Everyone is very supportive.

[00:16:48] And they agreed that our daughter deserves privacy and respect.

[00:16:52] And that the in-laws are arseholes.

[00:16:54] Why we included so many people in our decision to adopt our daughter.

[00:16:57] I got a few skeptical but fair questions about why we asked for people's opinions about the adoption.

[00:17:03] I get the skepticism.

[00:17:05] And that is partially on me for not explaining that part very well.

[00:17:08] It was not so much that we wanted our extended family's opinion and approval.

[00:17:12] But more so that we knew where everyone was in regards to welcoming our daughter as a permanent member of our family.

[00:17:18] She is in her mid-teens and we have only known her for two years.

[00:17:22] That's a lot of life to live before coming into our lives.

[00:17:25] It's not the same as welcoming a baby or a toddler into the family.

[00:17:28] We never got to take her to the park to play with her brothers and her cousins when she was a child.

[00:17:33] She wasn't present at family birthdays growing up.

[00:17:36] We didn't experience her first day of school.

[00:17:38] Every Christmas Eve when we were watching Home Alone with our boys growing up, she wasn't there.

[00:17:43] All of a sudden there's an extra teenage niece, cousin, granddaughter.

[00:17:47] And that might not come naturally to everyone.

[00:17:50] Our boys have a close relationship with my parents and their aunts, uncles and cousins.

[00:17:54] But although everyone has welcomed and loved every single one of our foster kids,

[00:17:58] everyone knew these kids already had parents, grandparents, aunts, uncles and cousins.

[00:18:03] And our family always respected that.

[00:18:05] Our daughter has never had any of that.

[00:18:07] She was truly alone in this world when she came to us.

[00:18:10] She is now in the process of gaining a shit ton of family that she never had before.

[00:18:16] That's a lot to take in as a teenager.

[00:18:18] Our intent is to guide and help her as much as we can in her relationship with everyone in our family.

[00:18:23] But to do that, we need to know what kind of relationship our family is ready to have with her.

[00:18:28] That's why we asked them.

[00:18:29] And we're thankful that they are so welcoming.

[00:18:32] I know I said my wife isn't very close to her parents, but they did have a relationship before the shitstorm started.

[00:18:38] And they would become our daughter's grandparents.

[00:18:41] I don't know if it's right or wrong to include them given the relationship wasn't that great to begin with.

[00:18:46] But I'm glad we did so they had the chance to show their true colors before our daughter got the chance to bond with them as her grandparents.

[00:18:52] The dark side in general.

[00:19:25] Sadly, this is the case in most cases when digital material reaches these online circles that distribute it worldwide.

[00:19:31] I do want to say I have so much respect for the people working on nailing these sick animals.

[00:19:36] As it is incredibly hard mentally to do what they do.

[00:19:40] Our daughter and the shitstorm.

[00:19:41] I have to admit, I don't know what is right and what is wrong to do about informing our daughter about what is going on.

[00:19:48] But we did ask our caseworker to have a meeting with our daughter's therapist so we can find the best way to go about this together.

[00:19:54] There are four of us at regular meetings these last two years to make sure we're all on the same page and work together.

[00:20:00] These people are awesome and put their hearts into what they do.

[00:20:03] So I'm sure we will figure this out as well.

[00:20:05] Our daughter's adoption process.

[00:20:08] After our daughter turned her whole life around and came out of a shell, we notice more and more how well we fit together as a family.

[00:20:15] Don't get me wrong, my wife loves our boys but it's been a whole new experience admiring her bonding with our daughter over girl stuff.

[00:20:22] I'm a real dad jokes kind of dad.

[00:20:24] While our boys just laugh in my face when I bring my best work, our girl rolls her eyes and scoffs at me trying to hide a smile.

[00:20:32] Our boys really know how to wrap their mother around their little finger.

[00:20:35] Well I see right through them.

[00:20:37] But this girl melts my heart.

[00:20:39] Oh please combine with the puppy eyes and I am sold while my wife is a hard ass.

[00:20:44] I guess that's what they mean when they talk about the typical difference between having boys and girls.

[00:20:49] Anyway, we brought it up with our caseworker last year that we're interested in adopting our girl.

[00:20:54] She walked us through what that would entail and we were up for it.

[00:20:57] Our daughter has been talking to a therapist and a caseworker throughout the process of changing the verdict to available for adoption.

[00:21:05] And she knows we are wanting to adopt her.

[00:21:07] And we're only waiting for the last paperwork to go through before we could ask for a court date.

[00:21:12] And she told both of them she wants us to adopt her.

[00:21:15] After all the mess she has been through, it's important to her to have a sense of control over her own life.

[00:21:20] So we did make sure she knew it was coming.

[00:21:23] But at the same time, we wanted to make this really special for her.

[00:21:26] That's why we chose to do it this way.

[00:21:29] The day after my post, our caseworker called to let us know that our paperwork had gone through.

[00:21:34] We arranged a family outing for the five of us.

[00:21:36] Oh bloody hell, the onion ninjas are here already.

[00:21:39] I'm not going to give too many details for our daughter's privacy, but we had such a great day together.

[00:21:45] And we asked for her permission.

[00:21:46] And guess what?

[00:21:48] She said yes.

[00:21:49] We laughed.

[00:21:50] We cried.

[00:21:51] It was overwhelming.

[00:21:52] It's finally official.

[00:21:54] We are adopting her.

[00:21:55] That same night, my wife and daughter were in the living room talking while I was working in the office.

[00:22:01] My wife called me into the living room, so I went in there to talk to them.

[00:22:04] And my girl asked me, from now on, is it okay if I call you dad?

[00:22:09] Man, I did not expect this.

[00:22:11] I would be absolutely okay with her to keep using my name.

[00:22:14] But this is an honor.

[00:22:16] Of course I said yes.

[00:22:18] I'll be honored for her to call me dad.

[00:22:19] When I dropped her off for practice the next day, it really hit me when she, in front of her friends, all said,

[00:22:26] Bye dad.

[00:22:27] Love you.

[00:22:27] I may or may not have shed a tear or two on my way home.

[00:22:31] Now we are mum and dad to three.

[00:22:34] We don't have a court date yet, but it'll probably be this summer or maybe this fall.

[00:22:39] We're thinking of having a huge adoption party when that happens, but our girl will decide what she wants when that time comes.

[00:22:46] What we do know is that we're looking forward to it regardless.

[00:22:50] College, if adopted.

[00:22:52] We've been told our daughter will lose some privileges when it comes to college tuition when we adopt her.

[00:22:57] I haven't looked too much into it yet, as we're not there yet age-wise, but it's not something we're worrying about.

[00:23:02] We make more than enough to put our kids through college.

[00:23:05] We will look more into it when it becomes relevant.

[00:23:08] Right now, the adoption is more important than money.

[00:23:11] Adoption and the father-in-law situation.

[00:23:14] As of now, it doesn't look like father-in-law had access to the content of our daughter.

[00:23:19] It looks like he's only a misogynistic piece of shit.

[00:23:22] And because we have gone no contact, he is a non-issue in the adoption process.

[00:23:27] If something dark sees the light of day, it will very possibly play a role in court.

[00:23:32] That does not mean we don't want him exposed if he is a predator.

[00:23:36] Our girl's safety is even more important than the adoption.

[00:23:38] But because we have gone no contact, it is very likely our daughter would ever be removed from our care.

[00:23:44] It will probably mean more of a large bump in the road on our way to adoption.

[00:23:48] Right now, all we can do is cross our fingers and wait for answers.

[00:23:53] Our sons.

[00:23:54] I will say our sons have made our daughter's recovery a whole lot more manageable.

[00:23:58] Yes, we as then foster parents focused on loving our girl.

[00:24:01] And we never reprimanded her for acting out because we understood where her pain came from.

[00:24:06] But she did all the work necessary while we were supportive and gave her a nudge here and there in the right direction.

[00:24:12] But we feel like our boys have done at least as much for her as we have.

[00:24:16] They just don't know it.

[00:24:18] Our boys were initially not informed about our daughter's essay as there were no reason for it.

[00:24:24] They were informed about the physical abuse in general.

[00:24:27] No details, just enough to understand that our girl didn't like to be touched without permission.

[00:24:31] They were very respectful of her.

[00:24:33] And our youngest even felt bad for her when he hugged me or my wife in front of her because he felt like she deserved love as well.

[00:24:40] They will never fully comprehend what our girl has been through.

[00:24:43] But they will also never understand how much they have helped her by just existing around her.

[00:24:49] They have shown her what healthy relationships with family look like and what boundaries are.

[00:24:54] Our older son and our daughter are close in age and he introduced her at school to his friend group, including her now best friend.

[00:25:01] She has observed our boys a lot during her time with us and they have played a huge role in teaching her how to live a worry-free teenage life.

[00:25:09] This has resulted in them having such a great sibling bond and that melts my heart.

[00:25:14] To the few people who predict that our girl will end up pregnant by one of our boys, go outside and listen to the birds sing.

[00:25:21] Read a book.

[00:25:22] Try a new hobby.

[00:25:23] There are a lot of really interesting things in the world other than your favorite family videos on the hub.

[00:25:28] I'm sure I've forgotten a few things and there are a few questions I cannot answer.

[00:25:33] Especially when it comes to investigations and other legal stuff.

[00:25:36] And I did change a few benign details to throw people off for privacy reasons to protect our girl.

[00:25:42] If there is update-worthy stuff later when the investigations have been concluded, I may give it.

[00:25:47] But that won't happen for at least several months.

[00:25:49] For now, I just wanted to update you guys on our girl and assure you that she's okay.

[00:25:55] Internet strangers, thank you for your support, advice and encouragement.

[00:25:59] And most of all, thank you for caring about our girl, my wife, our family and victims in general.

[00:26:05] The world is not that bad after all.

[00:26:07] Rashford says to the OP on the back of this,

[00:26:10] The amount of tears I have shed over this post.

[00:26:12] I'm not in a position to foster children, but I am so grateful for people like you and your wife.

[00:26:18] There are so many people in the system.

[00:26:21] Every wonderful family like yours keeps a child out of the hands of abusers and predators.

[00:26:26] Thank you so much for the update.

[00:26:28] Wishing you all the happiness for your family.

[00:26:31] Another commenter says,

[00:26:32] It's dust I tell you.

[00:26:34] Just really dusty in here.

[00:26:36] I want to say something saying,

[00:26:37] Since I hadn't read the first post, I went back and did so.

[00:26:40] What an emotional rollercoaster that came to a wonderful conclusion.

[00:26:44] Go on being a great father.

[00:26:46] Warm regards to your family.

[00:26:47] Really?

[00:26:48] Mate, I'm just overwhelmed with the love from your family towards your daughter.

[00:26:54] You know, like that comment said,

[00:26:56] I'm incredibly grateful for people like you in this world.

[00:26:59] Absolutely.

[00:27:00] You adopting her, calling you dad.

[00:27:03] Oh, dearie me.

[00:27:04] Like I said, the Onion Ninjas were all over the place on this one.

[00:27:06] And the way that you talk about your son's thoughts and feelings and what they're doing in it as well.

[00:27:11] Your side of the family and the way that they are.

[00:27:14] It just sounds like an incredible amount of love all in one place.

[00:27:18] Not even going to talk anymore about that arsehole father-in-law anymore.

[00:27:23] He's no contact.

[00:27:24] Be done with that shit.

[00:27:25] But I truly, really wish you and your family all the best going forward.

[00:27:31] I mean, you don't need it from me.

[00:27:33] You sound like a kick-ass family who's dealing with everything just incredibly well.

[00:27:39] But now, I'm going to turn this one to you guys because I need to go dry my eyes.

[00:27:44] But what do you guys make of this one?

[00:27:47] Let us know your thoughts down in the comments below.

[00:27:50] And just a huge thank you for being here today, getting involved in the stories.

[00:27:53] Showing your love, not just towards me and each other,

[00:27:56] but towards the OPs in the stories as well means the absolute world.

[00:28:00] And I will see you in the next one.

[00:28:02] Take care and much love.

[00:28:09] Back in the day, you were everything I need.

[00:28:11] But then along came a time when you crushed my dreams.

[00:28:14] Oh yeah, you played me like a fool when you made me believe

[00:28:17] that the line between love was ridiculous to read.

[00:28:19] Oh yeah, you see we in the despair.