My Ex Told Me My Current Girlfriend Is SABOTAGED Our Relationships r/Relationships

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[00:00:36] [SPEAKER_01]: Hey, what's all going on?

[00:00:37] [SPEAKER_01]: I do have your will.

[00:00:39] [SPEAKER_01]: My name is Mark and today we're checking out some more Reddit stories and if you do love

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[00:00:49] [SPEAKER_01]: today's first story.

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[00:00:53] [SPEAKER_01]: Now, today's first story comes from a throw away account from the M.I.V.R.S or here

[00:00:57] [SPEAKER_01]: subreddit and says, M.I.V.R.S or here.

[00:00:59] [SPEAKER_01]: My ex-girlfriend told me my current girlfriend sabotaged our relationship.

[00:01:05] [SPEAKER_01]: I 28-mail and really confused about the events of the last month.

[00:01:09] [SPEAKER_01]: My ex-girlfriend, Julie 29-female, thinks that my current girlfriend, Mindy, 28-female

[00:01:15] [SPEAKER_01]: is manipulative and sabotaged our four year relationship.

[00:01:19] [SPEAKER_01]: I was in a loving relationship with Julie for the last four years.

[00:01:23] [SPEAKER_01]: We met through some mutual friends.

[00:01:24] [SPEAKER_01]: Julie and I were very compatible into, in terms of our love for our poor activities

[00:01:28] [SPEAKER_01]: and running.

[00:01:30] [SPEAKER_01]: We're very similar lifestyles and supported each other well for the last four years.

[00:01:34] [SPEAKER_01]: We've also been living together for the last three years.

[00:01:37] [SPEAKER_01]: We even discussed getting married during the summer.

[00:01:40] [SPEAKER_01]: Everything was great and I was planning to propose to her over the holidays.

[00:01:45] [SPEAKER_01]: However, I started to see changes in behaviour in Julie around September.

[00:01:50] [SPEAKER_01]: She was acting distant and looked stressed.

[00:01:52] [SPEAKER_01]: It was quite noticeable and I was worried.

[00:01:56] [SPEAKER_01]: I trusted with all my heart and I could not imagine that she would be cheating on me.

[00:02:00] [SPEAKER_01]: However, she did spend more time by herself.

[00:02:03] [SPEAKER_01]: Around the same time, Julie's friend Mindy messaged me privately and asked me if I could meet her

[00:02:08] [SPEAKER_01]: secretly as she wanted to tell me something about Julie.

[00:02:12] [SPEAKER_01]: Mindy and Julie worked together and have known Mindy ever since I started dating Julie.

[00:02:17] [SPEAKER_01]: I was surprised but to be honest, I assumed the worst.

[00:02:19] [SPEAKER_01]: I met her at a cafe after work.

[00:02:22] [SPEAKER_01]: Just me if things were going okay between Julie and Mindy.

[00:02:25] [SPEAKER_01]: She told me that Julie told us she was planning to leave me soon.

[00:02:29] [SPEAKER_01]: This was a total shock to me.

[00:02:31] [SPEAKER_01]: I asked her if there was anyone else that Julie was interested in and she told me no.

[00:02:36] [SPEAKER_01]: Julie confided in her that he was not sure about marrying Mindy.

[00:02:40] [SPEAKER_01]: She told me she just had to tell me this, and she did not want me to be blindsided.

[00:02:44] [SPEAKER_01]: I was devastated.

[00:02:45] [SPEAKER_01]: I started putting more effort into making our relationship more exciting and planning more dates

[00:02:50] [SPEAKER_01]: etc. Mindy was also helping me through this time and telling me more about what Julie told her.

[00:02:57] [SPEAKER_01]: Eventually before Thanksgiving, Julie told me that she loved me,

[00:03:00] [SPEAKER_01]: but she wanted to take a break for a month to live alone.

[00:03:03] [SPEAKER_01]: She said that she just wanted to live alone for a month to make sure she wanted to marry me.

[00:03:08] [SPEAKER_01]: I was completely heartbroken.

[00:03:10] [SPEAKER_01]: I asked her if she wanted to pursue someone else.

[00:03:12] [SPEAKER_01]: She told me that was not the case and I better not do anything stupid either.

[00:03:17] [SPEAKER_01]: She loves me with all her heart, but she just wants to stay away from me to make sure she is

[00:03:21] [SPEAKER_01]: marrying me for love and not because she is used to being with me.

[00:03:25] [SPEAKER_01]: I did not understand that at all.

[00:03:27] [SPEAKER_01]: I told her that if she's not sure after four years if she wants to marry me then maybe we should just

[00:03:33] [SPEAKER_01]: break up. We had a big fight and broke up after a few days.

[00:03:37] [SPEAKER_01]: As our release was ending, we decided to part ways in December.

[00:03:40] [SPEAKER_01]: She got a new apartment like at that older apartment and just took her name off the lease.

[00:03:46] [SPEAKER_01]: After the breakup I was feeling very lonely as I was not used to being in the apartment alone.

[00:03:52] [SPEAKER_01]: I didn't want to keep on being sad and hence invited a bunch of friends for a new year's

[00:03:56] [SPEAKER_01]: party. I also invited Mindy. We had a good time and my friends were doing their best to cheer me up.

[00:04:03] [SPEAKER_01]: Mindy also mingled with my friends and it was good. Mindy decided to stay back to help me clean

[00:04:07] [SPEAKER_01]: up and we hooked up that night. I felt guilty but Mindy did cheer me up.

[00:04:13] [SPEAKER_01]: Since then we have hung out almost daily at my place. I'm still sad about Julie but I won't lie

[00:04:19] [SPEAKER_01]: that being with Mindy does make me feel happy. Just sweet and caring. Last Sunday we woke up and

[00:04:25] [SPEAKER_01]: someone was banging on the door. I went to open it and it was Julie. She looked furious and started

[00:04:31] [SPEAKER_01]: yelling at me. She kept on accusing me of cheating on her. I told her I most certainly did not

[00:04:36] [SPEAKER_01]: hurt her. She was the one who broke up with me. Mindy was also at my apartment. Julie was angry

[00:04:42] [SPEAKER_01]: at both of us. She started calling Mindy a manipulative bitch and told me that Mindy was the one

[00:04:47] [SPEAKER_01]: who suggested to her that she should take some time away from me to understand her true feelings.

[00:04:53] [SPEAKER_01]: I calm down and asked her to explain herself. She told me that ever since I married she talked.

[00:04:58] [SPEAKER_01]: She told Mindy about it and Mindy kept on asking you if she was sure about marrying me.

[00:05:03] [SPEAKER_01]: Mindy suggested she takes time to herself to understand her true feelings and that's

[00:05:08] [SPEAKER_01]: I will understand and give her space. When I said no, Mindy convinced her that I was controlling

[00:05:14] [SPEAKER_01]: that I could not even give a one month to herself and convinced her to break up with me.

[00:05:19] [SPEAKER_01]: Mindy told me that she did not say any such things and he's what all Julie's ideas and

[00:05:24] [SPEAKER_01]: she was just there during these conversations. She did tell Julie that she told me about

[00:05:28] [SPEAKER_01]: some of the things so that I get a chance to make things right with her over the last few months.

[00:05:33] [SPEAKER_01]: I made Julie more angry and she started accusing me of emotionally cheating on her.

[00:05:38] [SPEAKER_01]: Julie told me that the last few weeks have made her realize that we will meant to be together.

[00:05:43] [SPEAKER_01]: But she now cannot believe I could move on from a four year relationship, you know, weak.

[00:05:48] [SPEAKER_01]: On one hand, I want to believe Julie. But she broke up with me for no fault of my own.

[00:05:54] [SPEAKER_01]: Mindy was there for me when I was down but now I also doubt her. She suddenly started talking

[00:05:59] [SPEAKER_01]: to me out of the blue as we would never really close before and immediately became my support

[00:06:04] [SPEAKER_01]: after a breakup although Julie was a close friend. Mindy asked her to emotionally cheat on Julie.

[00:06:11] [SPEAKER_01]: She had told her about Mindy's text, should I have not moved on from her so quickly?

[00:06:16] [SPEAKER_01]: Even though Julie broke up with me. I was just hurting and Mindy was right there to support

[00:06:20] [SPEAKER_01]: me. I need advice from someone with a clear mind on what the fuck is going on.

[00:06:26] [SPEAKER_01]: Yep and it just feels like this one that Mindy is manipulated the situation to get with the

[00:06:32] [SPEAKER_01]: OP in this story. It just felt like that wanted me. In Bob McFansy pants says in quotes,

[00:06:38] [SPEAKER_01]: how do I find out Julie is telling the truth? Maybe she's just mad I moved on too quickly.

[00:06:43] [SPEAKER_01]: Then says, this one is pretty straightforward man, talk to Julie. If you guys have been dating for

[00:06:48] [SPEAKER_01]: four years, at the point you were about to propose to her, you likely know a well enough to tell

[00:06:52] [SPEAKER_01]: if she's probably lying or not. Hear her out and go with your gut. Even if you choose not to

[00:06:58] [SPEAKER_01]: reconcile or believe her, that still take a break from dating Mindy. You rebounded hard. When we

[00:07:04] [SPEAKER_01]: cover a four year relationship ending and you're already sleeping with someone else. Take your time

[00:07:08] [SPEAKER_01]: to mourn your relationship and send to yourself. No need to rush into anything. Vegetable

[00:07:14] [SPEAKER_01]: trainer says it is concerning just how easily the two of you would taunt a part by the strategic

[00:07:19] [SPEAKER_01]: words of Mindy. I think Mindy is the answer. The timing here, the earnest reaction on Julie

[00:07:24] [SPEAKER_01]: will a Mindy's influence on you seem to mirror that of how Julie describes Mindy's influence

[00:07:29] [SPEAKER_01]: over her. It's all just way too suspicious. Mindy sounds a wee bit like a manipulated stalker

[00:07:36] [SPEAKER_01]: type. For what it's worth, where you write about these two ladies, you clearly feel much more

[00:07:41] [SPEAKER_01]: for Julie than you do for Mindy. Asher tell you a lot. The Alsok says sounds like you and Julie

[00:07:47] [SPEAKER_01]: need to talk privately and discuss what Mindy said to each of you. As Asher says, it sounds

[00:07:51] [SPEAKER_01]: all too convenient. Mindy was in both areas telling you both what she wanted you to hear to

[00:07:57] [SPEAKER_01]: orchestrate this whole thing. Please reach out to Julie and ask her to talk to you alone. Even if

[00:08:02] [SPEAKER_01]: you both don't get back together, I'm sure you care for each other deeply and she'd want

[00:08:06] [SPEAKER_01]: you to be with someone who cares about you and won't manipulate you and her. I'm an imputation

[00:08:11] [SPEAKER_01]: of you is more direct but Julie is the victim as well. Not the Alsok. I'd be responded to that

[00:08:18] [SPEAKER_01]: saying, you're right. Julie is right, I just threw a four-year relationship under the bus in two weeks.

[00:08:25] [SPEAKER_01]: And a final comment which was a response to that says, after this, how could you ever trust Mindy

[00:08:29] [SPEAKER_01]: like ever? She literally destroyed your relationship with Julie just so she could get you to herself.

[00:08:35] [SPEAKER_01]: This wasn't about loving you. It wasn't even about liking you. It was about envy of Julie.

[00:08:40] [SPEAKER_01]: Mindy was so envious of what Julie had with you that she sabotaged your relationship with Julie

[00:08:45] [SPEAKER_01]: and then as soon as Julie took a minute to figure out what she wanted, Mindy manipulated you into

[00:08:50] [SPEAKER_01]: sleeping with her. Dude, get that girl out of your house. Even if you don't end up back with Julie,

[00:08:56] [SPEAKER_01]: Mindy will always manipulate you and the people around you. Mindy is someone who takes great joy

[00:09:01] [SPEAKER_01]: in hurting people so she can get what she wants. Mindy was such a great friend to you that she

[00:09:06] [SPEAKER_01]: destroyed your relationship with Julie. I want to tell you something. My friends can fight

[00:09:11] [SPEAKER_01]: and me about fears in their relationships. I take it as a grey even vice versa. It'll go back

[00:09:16] [SPEAKER_01]: to your friends partner and I've private conversations with them about their relationship.

[00:09:20] [SPEAKER_01]: That is truly sick that has emotional manipulation. Like girl knew exactly what she was doing

[00:09:26] [SPEAKER_01]: and she played you like a fiddle. Mindy needs to go. Text her, tell her it's over. Tell

[00:09:32] [SPEAKER_01]: it she ever contacts you again, you'll get a restraining order for stalking. Lock her on everything.

[00:09:37] [SPEAKER_01]: You might be able to work through this with Julie with a shit ton of couples counseling.

[00:09:42] [SPEAKER_01]: Looking to couples intensive immediately. I say if you can get Julie to go with you.

[00:09:47] [SPEAKER_01]: And years of couples counseling. I don't know if you can rebuild the relationship with Julie

[00:09:51] [SPEAKER_01]: but I do know that Mindy will destroy you the same way she destroyed Julie because this

[00:09:56] [SPEAKER_01]: was about possession and envy tower. Not about a relationship with you.

[00:10:02] [SPEAKER_01]: The OP came in with her first update on this one and says, I 28 male posted last week

[00:10:06] [SPEAKER_01]: regarding my girlfriend Julie. 29 female accusing her friend and co-worker Mindy. When

[00:10:12] [SPEAKER_01]: 8 female sabotaging our relationship. Julie broke up with me in December after a four year relationship

[00:10:18] [SPEAKER_01]: and Mindy reached out to me when I was feeling down. I've when Julie realized Mindy was talking

[00:10:23] [SPEAKER_01]: to me. You confronted both of us last Sunday morning and told me that Mindy manipulated

[00:10:27] [SPEAKER_01]: had her to break up with me. The worst part was I was not thinking straight after the breakup

[00:10:33] [SPEAKER_01]: and ended up looking up with Mindy after a new year's party. After the incident, I asked Mindy

[00:10:38] [SPEAKER_01]: that I needed some time and since then I made the following post on Reddit at 3000 people call

[00:10:44] [SPEAKER_01]: me an idiot and then shared the link to the original and says, I'm sorry for the long post

[00:10:50] [SPEAKER_01]: but I wanted to say that we were not idiots to not see what happened. You guys read in a

[00:10:55] [SPEAKER_01]: bridge version of an event in five minutes while we lived it for the last seven months.

[00:11:00] [SPEAKER_01]: And message Julie every day since then, the try and talk to her. He did not reply to my messages

[00:11:05] [SPEAKER_01]: or was not sure if she blocked me. Mindy was constantly trying to message me asking if we could meet

[00:11:11] [SPEAKER_01]: and talk about it. On Wednesday one day after posting, I decided to message Mindy. I told her

[00:11:17] [SPEAKER_01]: tell me everything she said to Julie truthfully. I told her I would go no contact. I found out

[00:11:22] [SPEAKER_01]: that she was lying. Mindy wanted to meet me in person or talk to me on the phone but I wanted

[00:11:28] [SPEAKER_01]: everything in writing. She message me that Julie always said good things about me for all these years.

[00:11:34] [SPEAKER_01]: When Julie told her about us talking about getting married in 2024, she was happy for both of us.

[00:11:40] [SPEAKER_01]: However Julie started telling her that she had called Feeaton,

[00:11:43] [SPEAKER_01]: was not sure if she wanted to marry me because of issues she observed about her parents marriage.

[00:11:48] [SPEAKER_01]: When they Julie told her she wanted to take a break from me.

[00:11:51] [SPEAKER_01]: She was not sure about her truth feelings for me. I was the time Mindy told me about Julie's behavior

[00:11:56] [SPEAKER_01]: and she felt bad for me. As we were already telling our families about the engagement plant.

[00:12:01] [SPEAKER_01]: After our fight, she said that Julie was extremely upset and told Mindy that she would never

[00:12:06] [SPEAKER_01]: marry me. She said that the only reason Julie came back was when she heard that I was moving on

[00:12:11] [SPEAKER_01]: and she is jealous of us. She also said that I was a good guy and hopefully I see that what we

[00:12:17] [SPEAKER_01]: have is something special. I just said okay and told her I needed time. I kept on messaging Julie

[00:12:23] [SPEAKER_01]: once a day to at least talk to her once. It was heartbreaking to think that she may have blocked

[00:12:29] [SPEAKER_01]: me and mean never talked to me again. On Friday afternoon, Julie finally replied,

[00:12:34] [SPEAKER_01]: she said she wanted to meet me and told me that she would come to our apartment on Saturday afternoon.

[00:12:39] [SPEAKER_01]: I cleaned the place up and just feeling deep guilt from inside before facing her.

[00:12:45] [SPEAKER_01]: When she came in, she looked like a shell of herself and completely broken. It sat on our sofa

[00:12:50] [SPEAKER_01]: but she chose to sit away from me. We asked how we both were but it was clear that none of us

[00:12:55] [SPEAKER_01]: were doing well. I started apologising but she stopped me. She asked me to let her finish

[00:13:00] [SPEAKER_01]: and not interrupt her. She had brought a little notebook and had written down things she wanted to say

[00:13:05] [SPEAKER_01]: she told me that she truly loved me but after we discussed getting married,

[00:13:10] [SPEAKER_01]: she started feeling scared of the next big step. She thought those feelings were normal and would

[00:13:14] [SPEAKER_01]: go away. So, she decided not to discuss a concerns with me. I kept on eating her from the inside

[00:13:20] [SPEAKER_01]: and she made a mistake to talk to Mindy about them. She said that she wanted to say everything to

[00:13:25] [SPEAKER_01]: me now so I don't get second hand information about why she was distant and broke up with me.

[00:13:30] [SPEAKER_01]: She said her parents had a very rocky marriage, though they were together until her mum passed away

[00:13:35] [SPEAKER_01]: in 2020 during the pandemic. Her parents argued constantly and she always thought her mum did

[00:13:40] [SPEAKER_01]: not love her dad. However, her mum was extremely dependent on him for everything and her dad knew

[00:13:45] [SPEAKER_01]: it and hence didn't treat her well. She never wanted to be like her mum after the marriage.

[00:13:51] [SPEAKER_01]: However, as we lived together, she started seeing some of those issues in our relationship.

[00:13:55] [SPEAKER_01]: For example, when we met, Julianna had a lot of credit card debts and was bad at managing her

[00:14:00] [SPEAKER_01]: money. I helped her with that, even though we have separate finances, I ended up managing all

[00:14:05] [SPEAKER_01]: her finances, investments etc. At her request. At the point that she did not know what

[00:14:10] [SPEAKER_01]: understand where her money exactly was. She also said that we always enjoy making those meals for

[00:14:15] [SPEAKER_01]: dinner every day. However, whenever I work late, she completely loses any motivation to cook and

[00:14:21] [SPEAKER_01]: end up eating cheese and crackers like a total of the dinner. She was a complain that in the last

[00:14:25] [SPEAKER_01]: four years of our relationship, and never said no to her for buying anything. She feels like

[00:14:31] [SPEAKER_01]: coddle her and that she's just got comfortable with all the luxuries and things I can provide for her.

[00:14:35] [SPEAKER_01]: She talked about this with Mindy. While Mindy initially just listened to her,

[00:14:40] [SPEAKER_01]: she told her around September that one of her cousins also had the same issue. She decided to

[00:14:45] [SPEAKER_01]: stay away from her fiancé for a month and within a week, she realised how much she missed

[00:14:49] [SPEAKER_01]: him and never had doubts again. When Julia asked for a break, or she wanted to do was

[00:14:54] [SPEAKER_01]: live with her best friend for a few weeks to see if she was just too codependent on me.

[00:14:59] [SPEAKER_01]: She knew I was planning to propose during our Christmas trip. My parents' house.

[00:15:03] [SPEAKER_01]: When I told her she could not take a break, she just freaked out and broke up with me,

[00:15:07] [SPEAKER_01]: and she did not want to be engaged without knowing for sure that we wouldn't end up like her parents.

[00:15:13] [SPEAKER_01]: After this, she asked me when I started meeting Mindy, and how many times we met. I opened

[00:15:18] [SPEAKER_01]: chat messages with Mindy and handed her the phone. I told her I met Mindy only once in September,

[00:15:24] [SPEAKER_01]: but she told me that Julia wanted to break up with me because she was not happy with our relationship.

[00:15:28] [SPEAKER_01]: Already noticed Julie's distant behavior and when I asked her,

[00:15:32] [SPEAKER_01]: in the answer I got was I am fine, we are fine. Due to my insecurities I tried to

[00:15:37] [SPEAKER_01]: hold on to Julie and start coddling her more, adding more expensive dates and trying to spend

[00:15:41] [SPEAKER_01]: more time at home. When Julia asked me for a break and to stay away from each of her a few weeks,

[00:15:46] [SPEAKER_01]: I thought that was the final step for the break-up and broke down and fought with her,

[00:15:51] [SPEAKER_01]: which led to our breakup and her moving out. At this point, Julie's voice started cracking up.

[00:15:56] [SPEAKER_01]: Just me when Mindy contacted you after the breakup. I pointed her to the messages.

[00:16:01] [SPEAKER_01]: Mindy initially started sending me memes to cheer me up. I just used to respond with a thanks

[00:16:06] [SPEAKER_01]: for a thumbs up. However, the messages started getting more frequent and she offered to talk to

[00:16:11] [SPEAKER_01]: me in case I needed help. Just me what I was doing for Christmas in New Years, when I told

[00:16:15] [SPEAKER_01]: I was inviting a few friends. She told me that she does not have any plans for New Years,

[00:16:20] [SPEAKER_01]: and I invited her. Julie stopped me there. She told me she did not need to hear the details after

[00:16:26] [SPEAKER_01]: that. She told me that when she moved out of our house after our fight, she thought she was just

[00:16:31] [SPEAKER_01]: not ready to get married to me. She stayed with her friend for two weeks and got her new apartment in

[00:16:36] [SPEAKER_01]: January. She told me that she was miserable and mislead badly. It became more acute when she moved

[00:16:42] [SPEAKER_01]: to the apartment alone and could not stay there for even one night. But best friend is currently

[00:16:47] [SPEAKER_01]: staying with her in New apartment. She realized she could not live without me within a week of living

[00:16:51] [SPEAKER_01]: there. When she asked one of our mutual friends on Saturday about how I was doing,

[00:16:56] [SPEAKER_01]: she told her about the party and told her Mindy was there. It did not make sense to her why

[00:17:00] [SPEAKER_01]: Mindy would be at the party. She concluded that Mindy and I were having an affair during our relationship

[00:17:05] [SPEAKER_01]: and that was the reason Mindy must have tried to break as a part. By constantly telling her that

[00:17:10] [SPEAKER_01]: she did not get married if she had doubts. When she saw Mindy in our apartment on Sunday,

[00:17:15] [SPEAKER_01]: she completely broke down. However, when she learned that Mindy was also talking to me and telling

[00:17:20] [SPEAKER_01]: me the opposite things. She realized that I knew she was to throw everything away without

[00:17:24] [SPEAKER_01]: properly talking to me first. As her to she is seeing me with Mindy, she also does not want to lose

[00:17:30] [SPEAKER_01]: me. She kept on calling herself an idiot in apologizing for not telling her concerns to me sooner.

[00:17:35] [SPEAKER_01]: I sat next to her and tried to hug her but she moved away. She asked me if I was willing to

[00:17:40] [SPEAKER_01]: still be together. I told her I would give anything to get her back. If you told me she was willing

[00:17:45] [SPEAKER_01]: to forget what happened, but she had a few conditions. The first condition was that I cut contact

[00:17:50] [SPEAKER_01]: with Mindy. I blocked her everywhere and never contacted her again. If I see a standing in front of

[00:17:55] [SPEAKER_01]: me, I act as if she is invisible. I was okay with that. Secondly, she did a re-signed up for

[00:18:00] [SPEAKER_01]: visual therapy and is on the wait list. She wants us to do a couple of therapy so that we can talk

[00:18:05] [SPEAKER_01]: about all the concerns we have and work through them. We also decided to hold off on our engagement

[00:18:10] [SPEAKER_01]: or marriage into both getting into a couple of therapy. I was okay with that too. Finally,

[00:18:15] [SPEAKER_01]: she wanted me to forget the last month as a bad nightmare and never talk about it again. And if

[00:18:20] [SPEAKER_01]: I ever make a, we're on a break joke, she'll punch me in the face. This was the first time we both

[00:18:25] [SPEAKER_01]: smiled. I asked her what she was going to do about Mindy as they worked together. She said

[00:18:30] [SPEAKER_01]: the biggest punishment for Mindy is to know that she did not succeed in breaking us up.

[00:18:35] [SPEAKER_01]: She was Mindy to see how happy she is with me. She was Mindy to be there when she flaunts her

[00:18:39] [SPEAKER_01]: engagement ring in the office and gets jealous when we get married. We hugged and I felt so relieved

[00:18:44] [SPEAKER_01]: that they had the chance to make things right for her. I asked her to stay and she agreed.

[00:18:49] [SPEAKER_01]: The rest of the evening was nice, we ordered a door there and watched reruns of top chef

[00:18:53] [SPEAKER_01]: were cuddling on the couch. In the morning, we discussed moving back in together. I wanted

[00:18:58] [SPEAKER_01]: to move back to our old apartment, but she wants a fresh start and asked me if I'm willing to

[00:19:02] [SPEAKER_01]: move into her new apartment. The new apartment is tiny compared to our current apartment in,

[00:19:07] [SPEAKER_01]: also not in the best neighbourhood. But we will talk about it more in the side.

[00:19:11] [SPEAKER_01]: I also have to deal with the issue of having two 12 month leases and how to get out of one of them.

[00:19:16] [SPEAKER_01]: Currently, Julie went to her apartment after lunch to get some of her stuff for the weekend.

[00:19:20] [SPEAKER_01]: I'm writing this post. I'm just so lucky that I did not lose Julie despite my terrible actions

[00:19:25] [SPEAKER_01]: during the last month. I just hope that I'll be able to work things out and get married soon.

[00:19:30] [SPEAKER_01]: This whole incident is just a small bump in our perfect relationship. I also don't know how to

[00:19:35] [SPEAKER_01]: address the issue where she feels coddled by my behaviour, and feels I'm making a code

[00:19:39] [SPEAKER_01]: dependent on me. It's just my personality and I need to work on that during a couple of therapy.

[00:19:45] [SPEAKER_01]: However, any tip you guys are welcome on how to make a feel less codependent.

[00:19:49] [SPEAKER_01]: Yes, thanks to everyone who checked on my house during the last few days by direct messages

[00:19:53] [SPEAKER_01]: and sent me numbers for help lines. Don't worry, I'm a marathon runner and don't give up that easy.

[00:19:59] [SPEAKER_01]: That only becomes in with what they title their final update and says after the incident

[00:20:03] [SPEAKER_01]: Julie told me that she wants to get back together if I get about the whole thing.

[00:20:07] [SPEAKER_01]: But I could see that she was still hurt by my behaviour. I tried to not love bomb her and give

[00:20:11] [SPEAKER_01]: her space as that was the reason why we broke up in the first place.

[00:20:15] [SPEAKER_01]: Julie had a mental breakdown. Had a panic attack during the week after she told Mindy with

[00:20:20] [SPEAKER_01]: her apartment, she got an online therapist who she still sees once a week.

[00:20:25] [SPEAKER_01]: They also looked for couples counseling, were able to see once a month after the incident.

[00:20:29] [SPEAKER_01]: We decided to put our plans on marriage and hold until then. I could feel that Julie was

[00:20:34] [SPEAKER_01]: making a lot of effort to act normally but something was not right. It was optimistic about us

[00:20:39] [SPEAKER_01]: but it was hard to see herself because of my actions. During our first couple's counseling session,

[00:20:45] [SPEAKER_01]: we both opened up about our relationship and talked about the incident.

[00:20:48] [SPEAKER_01]: Julie apologized to me for not communicating what was in her mind and how bad she

[00:20:53] [SPEAKER_01]: felt putting me through all the drama. She told me that she did not know how to process her

[00:20:57] [SPEAKER_01]: thoughts and did not want to unload all her negative feelings on me and panicked in the moment.

[00:21:02] [SPEAKER_01]: I also apologized to her about everything and at one point, bringing competition on

[00:21:07] [SPEAKER_01]: who gets to take a bigger blame for what happened. There are a lot of tears and I found the

[00:21:11] [SPEAKER_01]: experience very healing. Counts of the tolders that she could see how much we loved each other

[00:21:17] [SPEAKER_01]: and should take baby steps towards talking to each other about what is on our mind. She gave

[00:21:22] [SPEAKER_01]: us some exercises to do after going home and discuss certain things. By the time we left her office,

[00:21:28] [SPEAKER_01]: or so sure that I want to spend my life with Julie. I told her that and she also said

[00:21:33] [SPEAKER_01]: she cannot imagine her life without me. We decided to go ahead with our wedding plans.

[00:21:39] [SPEAKER_01]: Mindy tried to contact me several times. She messaged me but Julie blocked her on my phone and all

[00:21:44] [SPEAKER_01]: so short. She also contacted Julie and sent some nasty messages to her. The worst was 15

[00:21:50] [SPEAKER_01]: days after the incident when Mindy started posting pictures of me on our Instagram every day.

[00:21:55] [SPEAKER_01]: Some of those photos were intimate, not rude and it caused a lot of pain to Julie.

[00:22:00] [SPEAKER_01]: Julie reported her to HR and got a transfer and promotion to a different department after a month.

[00:22:07] [SPEAKER_01]: The last I heard from Mindy was when she sent me a long email on my work email

[00:22:10] [SPEAKER_01]: but I deleted it without reading. The photos Mindy posted did cause a lot of drama,

[00:22:16] [SPEAKER_01]: we have to explain to our parents and friends about what happened during that time.

[00:22:20] [SPEAKER_01]: As you all may have guessed, I was unanimously nominated for the idiot of the Year Award

[00:22:25] [SPEAKER_01]: but I'm sure my sister would give me a good run for it before the year ends.

[00:22:29] [SPEAKER_01]: I'll issue last at a month and then we never heard from Mindy again and just moved on with our lives.

[00:22:34] [SPEAKER_01]: Julie has been talking to a therapist about how code dependency issues and concerns.

[00:22:38] [SPEAKER_01]: I think it's childhood trauma and a therapist feels that it might have amplified after a

[00:22:42] [SPEAKER_01]: mother's sudden death. I've been trying to help Julie slowly taking stress in our finances.

[00:22:48] [SPEAKER_01]: I recommend ramets Sethi podcast, apologies about the pronunciation, but she is allergic to

[00:22:53] [SPEAKER_01]: money talks and always changes the subject. I was able to break the least at Julie's sign by

[00:22:58] [SPEAKER_01]: paying some penalty and we stayed in our old apartment. However, Julie wanted to move out of it as

[00:23:03] [SPEAKER_01]: soon as possible because of the bad memories. We purchased a single family home a few months ago

[00:23:08] [SPEAKER_01]: and a nice suburb and moved there in May. I don't think that issue of code dependency is resolved

[00:23:13] [SPEAKER_01]: and probably may have increased after the incident, but I love her and will always be there

[00:23:18] [SPEAKER_01]: for her when she needs me. Onto the main update, Julie and I got married last Saturday

[00:23:22] [SPEAKER_01]: and a nice intimate ceremony held at my father's country cup while our family and friends were

[00:23:27] [SPEAKER_01]: present I could not ask for a better evening. I wish I could share all the photos of Julie in

[00:23:32] [SPEAKER_01]: our wedding dress because she looks stunning. You plan to leave for our honeymoon next week

[00:23:36] [SPEAKER_01]: and could not have been happier about how things turned out. Hopefully in 25 years Julie and I

[00:23:42] [SPEAKER_01]: will look back on this incident as a small blip in our perfect life.

[00:23:46] [SPEAKER_01]: And there was a whole mix of comments after this one. The majority of them saying this is messy,

[00:23:52] [SPEAKER_01]: you know, Julie's a red flag. Some people say this isn't going to last those 25 years. What other

[00:23:57] [SPEAKER_01]: people are saying, you know, communication does win the day. How do you feel about that story?

[00:24:03] [SPEAKER_01]: Let us know your thoughts down in the comments below. That's just a huge thank you for the

[00:24:07] [SPEAKER_01]: bottom of my heart for getting involved in today's stories, your love, your support your time.

[00:24:11] [SPEAKER_01]: Always means you absolutely worked me so thank you so so much and hopefully I'll see you

[00:24:15] [SPEAKER_01]: in the next one. Take care and much love.