My Ex-Girlfriend Is Accusing My Current Girlfriend Of Manipulating Me To Break Up r/Relationships

[00:00:00] Millions of people have lost weight with personalized plans for noon, like Evan, who can't stand

[00:00:05] valid and still lost 50 pounds. Salads generally for most people are the easy-button, right?

[00:00:11] For me, that wasn't an option. I've never really was a salad guy, that's just not who

[00:00:16] I am, but new work for me. Get your personalized plan today at noon.com Real

[00:00:22] noon user compensated to provide their story. In four weeks, the typical noon user

[00:00:26] can expect to lose 1-2 pounds per week, individual results may vary.

[00:00:29] Hey hey waffle gang, I do hope you're well. My name is Mark and today we're checking

[00:00:40] out some more Reddit Stories, and if you do love a Reddit Story, why not consider

[00:00:45] in that like, subscribe, maybe that notification bell too, and let's crack on with today's

[00:00:50] first story. Much love guys, now today's first story comes from a throat-aware camp

[00:00:56] from the M.I. the ASL here subreddit and says, Am I the ASL here? My ex-girlfriend told

[00:01:02] me my current girlfriend sabotaged our relationship.

[00:01:06] I 28 male, I'm really confused about the events of the last month. My ex-girlfriend Julie

[00:01:13] 29 female thinks that my current girlfriend Mindy 28 female is manipulative and sabotaged

[00:01:20] our 4-year relationship. I was in a loving relationship with Julie for the last 4 years.

[00:01:27] We met through some mutual friends, Julie and I were very compatible in terms of our

[00:01:32] love for outdoor activities and running. We have very similar lifestyles and support

[00:01:37] of each other well for the last 4 years. We've also been living together for the last

[00:01:42] 3 years. We even discussed getting married during the summer. Everything was great and

[00:01:48] I was planning to propose to her over the holidays. However, I started to see changes in

[00:01:53] behaviour in Julie around September. She was acting distant and looked stressed. It was

[00:01:58] quite noticeable and I was worried. I trusted with all my heart and I could not imagine

[00:02:04] she would be cheating on me. However, she did spend more time by herself. Around

[00:02:09] the same time, Julie's friend Mindy messaged me privately and asked me if I could meet

[00:02:14] her secretly. As she wanted to tell me something about Julie, Mindy and Julie worked together

[00:02:19] and I have known Mindy ever since I started dating Julie. I was surprised but to be honest,

[00:02:25] I assumed the worst. I met her at a cafe after work. She asked me if things were okay

[00:02:30] between Julie and me. She told me that Julie told her that she was planning to leave me

[00:02:34] soon. This was a total shock to me. I asked her if there was anyone else that Julie

[00:02:39] was interested in and she told me no. Julie confided in her that she was not sure about

[00:02:44] marrying me. She told me that she just had to tell me this as she did not want me to be blindsided.

[00:02:50] I was devastated. I started putting more effort into making our relationship more exciting

[00:02:55] than planning more dates etc. Mindy was also helping me through this time and telling me more

[00:03:00] about what Julie told her. Eventually, before Thanksgiving, Julie told me that she loved me but

[00:03:06] she wanted to take a break for a month to live alone. She said that she just wanted to live

[00:03:11] alone for a month to make sure she wanted to marry me. It was completely heartbroken.

[00:03:16] I asked her if she wanted to pursue someone else. She told me that was not the case and

[00:03:21] I better not do anything stupid either. She loves me with all her heart but she just wants

[00:03:26] to stay away from me to make sure that she is marrying me for love, not because she is used to being

[00:03:31] with me. I did not understand that at all. I told her that if she is not sure after 4 years,

[00:03:36] if she wants to marry me, then maybe we should break up. We had a big fight and broke up after

[00:03:42] a few days. As our lease was ending, we decided to part ways in December. She got a new apartment

[00:03:48] and I kept our old apartment and just took her name off the lease. After the breakup was feeling

[00:03:54] very lonely as I was not used to being in the apartment alone. I didn't want to keep on being sad

[00:04:00] and hence invited a bunch of friends for a new year's party. I also invited Mindy.

[00:04:05] We had a good time and my friends were doing their best to cheer me up. Mindy also mingled with

[00:04:11] my friends and it was good. Mindy decided to stay back to help me clean up and we hooked up that

[00:04:16] night. I felt guilty but Mindy did cheer me up. Since then, we've hung out almost daily at my

[00:04:22] place. I'm still sad about Julie but I won't lie that being with Mindy does make me feel happy.

[00:04:28] She's sweet and caring. Last Sunday, we woke up and someone was banging on the door.

[00:04:33] I went to open it and it was Julie. She looked furious and started yelling at me. She kept

[00:04:39] unaccusing me of cheating on her. I told her I most certainly did not cheat on her and she was

[00:04:44] the one who broke up with me. Mindy was also at my apartment. Julie was just angry at both of us.

[00:04:51] She started calling Mindy a manipulative bitch and told me that Mindy was the one who suggested

[00:04:56] to her that she should take some time away from me to understand her true feelings.

[00:05:00] I calmed her down and asked her to explain herself. She told me that ever since our marriage talk,

[00:05:05] she told Mindy about it and Mindy kept on asking Julie if she was sure about marrying me.

[00:05:11] Mindy suggested she take some time to herself to understand her true feelings and that

[00:05:16] I will understand and give her space. When I said no, Mindy convinced her that I was so controlling

[00:05:22] that I could not even give her one month to herself and convinced her to break up with me.

[00:05:27] Mindy told me that she did not say any such things and these were all Julie's ideas and

[00:05:32] she was just there during these conversations. She did tell Julie that she told me about some of the

[00:05:37] things so that I get a chance to make things right with her over the last few months.

[00:05:42] That made Julie more angry and she started accusing me of emotionally cheating on her.

[00:05:47] Julie told me that the last few weeks have made her realize that we were meant to be together,

[00:05:52] but she now cannot believe I could move on from a four year relationship in a week.

[00:05:58] On one hand, I want to believe Julie but she broke up with me for no fault of my own.

[00:06:04] Mindy was there for me when I was down but now I also doubt her. She suddenly started talking to

[00:06:09] me out of the blue as we were never really close before and immediately became my support after

[00:06:14] the break up although Julie was her close friend and I the asshole to emotionally cheat on Julie.

[00:06:21] Should I have told her about Mindy's texts? Should I have not moved on from her so quickly?

[00:06:26] Even though Julie broke up with me, I was just hurting and Mindy was right there to support me.

[00:06:32] I needed advice from someone with a clear mind on what the fuck is going on.

[00:06:38] G-Drom says it does sound like Mindy manipulated the situation in her favour.

[00:06:42] She got Julie out of the picture and you in her bed. Yikes!

[00:06:48] Inside Spirit says it's too convenient that Mindy was there right after Julie dumped you,

[00:06:53] hook up with you. It does sound like Julie was having some issues in your relationship

[00:06:57] and Mindy wanted you front jump so she put shit in Julie's ear while it was on Jade to break up

[00:07:03] with you and the sounds like a snake. I would Mindy randomly want to be close to her friend's

[00:07:08] ex at all. If you were so bad, not me asshole but pay attention to those red flags next time.

[00:07:15] Edit via a user and other comments. I realised that I did not see that Opie admitted to seeing

[00:07:21] M behind Julie's back the entire time. Therefore rendering my point about Julie's decision

[00:07:26] to take a break, moot, change in verdict. Mindy is the catalystic asshole. Opie is definitely the

[00:07:33] kept the fire burning asshole while Julie fell for the manipulation of what was supposed to be

[00:07:38] her best friend and her entire relationship. Jim Bob Muck fans he pants says in quotes,

[00:07:44] how do I find out Julie is telling the truth? Maybe she's just mad I moved on too quickly

[00:07:49] and then says this one is pretty straightforward man, talk to Julie. If you guys have been dating

[00:07:54] for four years to the point where you're about to propose to her, you likely know

[00:07:58] well enough to tell if she's probably lying or not. Give her out and go with your gut.

[00:08:02] Even if you chew not to reconcile or believe her, I'd still take a break from dating Mindy.

[00:08:08] You rebounded hard. One week after a four year relationship ending and you're sleeping with someone

[00:08:13] else, take your time to mourn the relationship and send to yourself no need to rush into anything

[00:08:19] and one more comment from BR Sox who says sounds like you and Julie need to talk privately

[00:08:23] and discuss what Mindy said to each of you. As others said this all sounds too convenient.

[00:08:29] Mindy was in both your ears telling you both what she wanted you to hear to orchestrate this whole

[00:08:33] thing. Please reach out to Julie and ask her to talk to you alone. Even if you both don't get

[00:08:39] back together, I'm sure you care for each other deeply and she'd want you to be with someone who

[00:08:43] cares about you and won't manipulate you and her. A manipulation of you is more direct but Julie

[00:08:49] is the victim as well. Not the arsehole. Opie resplice that says you are right. If Julie is right

[00:08:56] they're just threw away a four year relationship under the bus in two weeks.

[00:09:01] So Opie does come in with her updates as I 28 male posted last week regarding my girlfriend Julie,

[00:09:07] 29 female, accusing her friend and coworker Mindy 28 female of sabotaging our relationship.

[00:09:14] Julie broke up with me in December after a four year relationship and Mindy reached out to me when

[00:09:19] I was feeling down. However, when Julie realised Mindy was talking to me she confronted both of us

[00:09:25] last Sunday morning and told me that Mindy manipulated her to break up with me. The worst part was I

[00:09:30] was not thinking straight after the breakup and ended up hooking up with Mindy after a new year's

[00:09:35] party. After the incident, I asked Mindy that I needed some time and did not meet her since then

[00:09:41] I made the following post on Reddit and have 3,000 people call me an idiot. I'm sorry for the long

[00:09:47] post but I wanted to say that we're not idiots does not see what happened. You guys read an

[00:09:52] abridged version of events in five minutes while we lived it for the last seven months.

[00:09:58] I messaged Julie every day since then to try to talk to her. She did not reply to my messages.

[00:10:04] I was not sure if she blocked me. Mindy was constantly trying to message me, asking if we could

[00:10:09] meet and talk about it. On Wednesday, one day after posting, I decided to message Mindy.

[00:10:14] I told her to tell me everything she said to Julie truthfully. I told her I would go no contact

[00:10:19] if I found out she was lying. Mindy wanted to meet me in person or talk to me on the phone,

[00:10:24] but I wanted everything in writing. She messaged me that Julie always said good things about me

[00:10:30] for all these years. When Julie told her about us talking about getting married in 2024,

[00:10:36] she was happy for both of us. However, Julie started telling her that she had cold feet and

[00:10:41] she wasn't sure if she wanted to marry me because of the issues she observed about her parents'

[00:10:45] marriage. If you thought the only way to get a more defined jawline with natural looking results

[00:10:52] was through surgery, think again. Juvederm volux Xc is a non-surgical injectable gel filler

[00:10:58] that improves moderate to severe loss of jawline definition and can help you achieve natural

[00:11:03] looking results with little downtime. Even better, this improved definition lasts up to one year

[00:11:08] with optimal treatment. No maintenance required. Improved jawline definition for a smooth sculpted look

[00:11:14] with Juvederm volux Xc. For important safety information and to find a licensed specialist,

[00:11:20] visit juvederm.com. That's j-u-v-e-d-e-r-m.com. Not for people with severe allergic reactions,

[00:11:27] allergies to lidocaine or the proteins used in Juvederm. Common side effects include injection

[00:11:32] site redness, swelling, pain, tenderness, firmness, lumps, bumps, bruising, discoloration,

[00:11:37] or itching. There's a risk of unintentional injection into a blood vessel which can cause

[00:11:41] vision abnormalities, blindness, stroke, temporary scabs or scarring. Talk to a licensed specialist

[00:11:46] to find out if it's right for you. Hey, I'm Ryan Reynolds. Recently, I asked Mint Mobile's legal

[00:11:51] team if big wireless companies are allowed to raise prices due to inflation. They said yes.

[00:11:56] And then when I asked if raising prices technically violates those owners to your contracts,

[00:12:00] they said, what the f**k are you talking about? You insane Hollywood s**t. So to recap,

[00:12:05] we're cutting the price of mint unlimited from $30 a month to just $15 a month. Give it a try at

[00:12:10] mintmobile.com slash switch. One day Julie told her she wanted to take a break from me.

[00:12:25] She was not sure about her true feelings for me. That was the time Mindy told me about Julie's

[00:12:30] behavior as she felt bad for me, as we're already telling our families about the engagement plans.

[00:12:36] After our fight, she said that Julie was extremely upset and told Mindy that she would never

[00:12:41] marry me. She said that the only reason Julie came back was when she heard that I was moving on,

[00:12:46] as she is jealous of us. She also said that I was a good guy and hopefully I see that what we have

[00:12:52] is something special. I just said okay and I told her I needed time. I kept on messaging Julie

[00:12:59] once a day to at least talk to her once. It was heartbreaking to think that she may have blocked

[00:13:04] me and may never talk to me again. On Friday afternoon, Julie finally replied. She said she wanted

[00:13:11] to meet me and told me she would come to our apartment on Saturday afternoon. I cleaned up the

[00:13:16] place in was just feeling deep guilt from inside before facing her. When she came in, she looked like

[00:13:22] a shell of herself and completely broken. I sat on our sofa but she chose to sit away from me.

[00:13:28] She asked how we both were but it was clear that none of us were doing well.

[00:13:32] I started apologising but she stopped me. She asked me to let her finish and not interrupt her.

[00:13:38] She'd brought a little notebook and had written down things she wanted to say to me.

[00:13:42] She told me that she truly loved me but after we discussed getting married,

[00:13:47] she started feeling scared of the next big step. She thought those feelings were normal and would

[00:13:51] go away so she decided not to discuss her concerns with me. It kept on eating her from the inside

[00:13:58] and she made a mistake to talk to Mindy about them. She said that she wanted to say everything

[00:14:02] to me now so I don't get secondhand information about why she was distant and broke up with me.

[00:14:08] She said her parents had a very rocky marriage, though they were together until her mum passed away

[00:14:13] in 2021 during the pandemic. Her parents argued constantly and she always thought her mum did not

[00:14:19] love her dad. However, her mum was extremely dependent on him for everything and her dad knew it

[00:14:25] and hence didn't treat her well. She never wanted to be like her mum after the marriage.

[00:14:30] However, as we lived together she started seeing some of those issues in our relationship.

[00:14:35] For example when we met, Julia had a lot of credit card debt and was bad at managing her money.

[00:14:41] I helped her with that even though we have separate finances. I ended up managing all the finances

[00:14:47] investments etc. At her request for the point that she did not know or understand where her money

[00:14:53] exactly was. She also said that we always enjoy making nice meals for dinner every day. However,

[00:14:59] when I worked late she completely loses any motivation to cook and ends up eating cheese and crackers

[00:15:04] like a toddler for dinner. She also complained that in the last four years of our relationship

[00:15:09] I've never said no to her for buying anything. She feels that I coddle her and she just got

[00:15:14] comfortable with all the luxuries and things I can provide for her. She talked about this with Mindy

[00:15:20] and while Mindy initially just listened to her, she told her around September that one of her

[00:15:24] cousins also had the same issue. She decided to stay away from her fiance for a month and within a

[00:15:30] week she realised how much she missed him and never had doubts again. When Julia asked for a break

[00:15:35] all she wanted to do was to live with her best friend for a few weeks to see if she was just

[00:15:41] codependent on me. She knew I was planning to propose during our Christmas trip to my parents' house.

[00:15:46] When I told her that she could not take a break, she just freaked out and broke up with me.

[00:15:51] As she did not want to be engaged without knowing for sure, as she won't end up like her parents.

[00:15:56] After this she asked me when I started meeting Mindy and how many times we met.

[00:16:01] I opened my chat messages with Mindy and handed her the phone. I told her I met Mindy only once in

[00:16:07] September but she told me that Julia wanted to break up with me because she was not happy with our

[00:16:12] relationship. I already noticed Julia's distant behaviour and when I asked her the only answer I

[00:16:17] got was I am fine, we are fine. Due to my insecurities, I tried to hold on to Julia and started

[00:16:23] cuddling her more, planning more expensive dates and trying to spend more time at home.

[00:16:28] When Julia asked me for a break and to stay away from me for a few weeks,

[00:16:32] I thought that was the final step before the breakup and broke down and fought with her which led

[00:16:36] to our breakup and her moving out. At this point, Julia's voice started cracking up.

[00:16:41] She asked me when Mindy contacted you after the breakup. I pointed her to the messages.

[00:16:47] Mindy initially just started sending me memes to cheer me up and I just used to respond with

[00:16:52] thanks or a thumbs up. However, the messages started getting more frequent and she offered

[00:16:56] to talk to me in case I needed help. She asked me what I was doing for Christmas and New Years.

[00:17:01] When I told her I was inviting a few friends, he told me that she does not have any plans for New Years.

[00:17:06] And I invited her. Julia stopped me there. She told me she did not need to hear the details after

[00:17:12] that. She told me that when she moved out of our house after our fight, she thought she was just

[00:17:17] not ready to get married to me. She stayed with a friend for two weeks and then got a new apartment

[00:17:22] in January. She told me that she was miserable and missed me badly. It became more acute

[00:17:28] when she moved into the apartment alone and could not stay there for even one night.

[00:17:32] Her best friend is currently staying with her in the new apartment. She realized she could not

[00:17:37] live without me within a week of living there. When she asked one of our mutual friends on Saturday

[00:17:42] about how I was doing, she told her about the party and told her Mindy was there. It did not make

[00:17:47] sense to her why Mindy would be at the party. She concluded that Mindy and I were having an

[00:17:52] affair during our relationship and that was the reason Mindy must have tried to break us apart

[00:17:56] by constantly telling her that she should not get married if she had doubts.

[00:18:01] When she saw Mindy in our apartment on Sunday, she completely broke down. However,

[00:18:06] when she learned that Mindy was also talking to me and telling me the opposite things,

[00:18:10] she realised how naive she was to throw everything away without properly talking to me first.

[00:18:15] As her to she is seeing me with Mindy, she also does not want to lose me. She kept on calling

[00:18:20] herself an idiot and apologising for not telling her concerns to me sooner. I sat next to her

[00:18:25] and tried to hug her, but she moved away. She asked me if I was willing to still be together.

[00:18:30] I told her I would give anything to get her back. She told me she was willing to forget what happened,

[00:18:35] but she has a few conditions. Her first condition was that I cut contact with Mindy.

[00:18:40] I block it everywhere and never contact her again. If I see her standing in front of me,

[00:18:45] I act as if she is invisible. I was okay with that. Secondly,

[00:18:49] she has already signed up for individual therapy and is on the wait list. She wants us to do

[00:18:54] couples therapy so that we can talk about all the concerns we have and work through them.

[00:18:58] We also decided to hold off our engagement or marriage until we both get into couples therapy.

[00:19:03] I was also okay with that too. Finally, she wanted me to forget the last month as a bad nightmare,

[00:19:09] never talk about it again. If I ever made a, we're on a break joke, she'll punch me in the face.

[00:19:15] This was the first time we both smiled. They asked her what she was doing about Mindy as they

[00:19:20] worked together. She said the biggest punishment for Mindy is to know that she did not succeed

[00:19:25] in breaking us up. She wants Mindy to see how happy she is with me. She wants Mindy to be there

[00:19:31] when she flaunts her engagement ring in the office and gets jealous when we get married.

[00:19:35] We hugged and I felt so relieved that I had a chance to make things right for her.

[00:19:40] I asked her to stay and she agreed. The rest of the evening was nice. We ordered door dash and

[00:19:45] we watched reruns of top chef or cuddling on our couch. In the morning, we discussed moving back

[00:19:50] in together. I wanted to move back to our old apartment but she wants a fresh start and asked me

[00:19:55] if I'm willing to move into her new apartment. Her new apartment is tiny compared to our current

[00:20:00] apartment and also not in the best neighborhood, but we talk about it more and decide.

[00:20:05] I also have to deal with the issue of having two 12 month leases and how to get out of one of them.

[00:20:11] Currently, Julie went to her apartment after lunch to get some of us stuff for the week and

[00:20:15] I'm writing this post. I'm just so lucky that I did not lose Julie despite my terrible

[00:20:20] actions during the last month. I just hope they'll be able to work things out and get married soon.

[00:20:25] This whole incident is a small bump in our perfect relationship.

[00:20:30] We also don't know how to address the issue where she feels coddled by my behaviour

[00:20:34] and feels like I'm making a code dependent on me. It's just my personality. I need to work

[00:20:39] on that during couples therapy. However, any tips from you guys are welcome

[00:20:44] on how to make a feel less codependent. Yes, thanks to everyone who checked on my health during

[00:20:49] the last few days via direct messages and sent me numbers for helplines. Don't worry,

[00:20:54] I'm a marathon runner and don't give up that easy. Someone asked Sophie on this one they said

[00:21:00] so what happened to Mindy? It would be says no idea as far as I'm concerned she does not exist.

[00:21:06] The commenter says after that I'd not be surprised if she threw in a pregnancy scare out the

[00:21:12] fuck you were condom. Antique tabpole says honestly the note talking about the past month is

[00:21:17] not a good idea. The past month needs to be addressed in couples counselling and work through

[00:21:22] as an entire situation could have been avoided with open and honest communication.

[00:21:27] Another commenter says you need to stay away from Mindy and Julie.

[00:21:31] Emergency items says I hate to agree with this but it's true. It took Julie to go through all

[00:21:36] this drama to realise she should have actually communicated with you in the first place. However,

[00:21:40] I hope I'm wrong and it's good that she's going to do individual therapy and both of you couples

[00:21:45] counselling. Good luck to OP. Web says it amuses me that the one who dumped you was the one setting

[00:21:52] the conditions. The story doesn't add up. She claims she can't live without OP for a week

[00:21:57] but it took months. Only when she knew that OP was with Mindy as she made her move to get back

[00:22:01] together. Can you imagine if OP ended up dating another girl? You think she will still get back

[00:22:07] to him? Just my two cents. And Lando's mustache says at some point OP is going to realise that

[00:22:14] Julie signed a 12 month lease for what she was claiming a one month break and OP is going to feel

[00:22:20] really silly. That was a whole last breakup. Julie wasn't planning on coming back

[00:22:26] and if I'm being completely honest the ending of that one did give me mixed vibes as well especially

[00:22:31] with the conditions and never talking about it again. It feels somewhat unhealthy but what do you

[00:22:39] guys make of this situation? Let me know your thoughts down in the comments below. Just a huge

[00:22:46] thank you from the bottom of my heart for getting involved in today's stories, your love,

[00:22:50] your support, your time always means the absolute world to me. So thank you so so much and hopefully

[00:22:55] I'll see you in the next one. Take care and much love

[00:23:20] you