My Cousin Wants Me To Tattoo Him On HIS WEDDING DAY! r/Relationships

[00:00:03] [SPEAKER_00]: Hey Waffle Gang, I do hope you are well. My name is Mark and today we're checking out

[00:00:08] [SPEAKER_00]: some more Reddit Stories. If you do love a Reddit Story why not consider hitting that

[00:00:13] [SPEAKER_00]: like subscribe maybe that notification bell too and let's crack on with today's first

[00:00:18] [SPEAKER_00]: story. Now I saw this title and I was like oh my word I am intrigued. It's from SuspiciousFruit243

[00:00:25] [SPEAKER_00]: and says Am I the asshole for refusing to tattoo at my cousin's wedding? Throw away

[00:00:31] [SPEAKER_00]: because I'm not sure if my family uses Reddit. LOL.

[00:00:35] [SPEAKER_00]: So a little to my background, I am a tattoo artist. I've done an apprenticeship the first

[00:00:40] [SPEAKER_00]: year of tattooing. I work as a tattoo artist for 4 years now and I opened a studio recently.

[00:00:46] [SPEAKER_00]: Me and my family are invited to a wedding that is taking place in another state. My

[00:00:51] [SPEAKER_00]: cousin is marrying and we got the invitation a few months ago. Time has moved forward and

[00:00:56] [SPEAKER_00]: the wedding is in a week already. Out of the blue my cousin, let's call him Matt, texts

[00:01:02] [SPEAKER_00]: me with something along the lines of, you're going to tattoo me on my wedding day. I was

[00:01:06] [SPEAKER_00]: a bit confused as I never even thought of bringing my equipment since I also didn't

[00:01:10] [SPEAKER_00]: plan a guest spot or anything. The guest spot is a tattoo artist working at another studio

[00:01:15] [SPEAKER_00]: for a few days or weeks, mostly in a different area to grow the clientele. I jokingly asked

[00:01:21] [SPEAKER_00]: if he has a machine as I still hoped that he wasn't serious. He then just asked if I

[00:01:26] [SPEAKER_00]: don't have one and that one machine wouldn't take up that much space to take with. I replied

[00:01:31] [SPEAKER_00]: that I didn't plan on bringing my equipment that in fact contains more than just a machine,

[00:01:36] [SPEAKER_00]: color, hygiene stuff, stencils, that's the purple stuff you put on the skin, then trace

[00:01:42] [SPEAKER_00]: the tattoo with actual needles etc. And that I'm not prepared to tattoo at a wedding of

[00:01:48] [SPEAKER_00]: which I don't know anything about, layout of the location, is it inside slash outside

[00:01:53] [SPEAKER_00]: and so on. He then said he had planned on this and that it would mean a lot to him to

[00:01:57] [SPEAKER_00]: both get a tattoo on his wedding day and that I'd be the one to tattoo him. Remember that

[00:02:02] [SPEAKER_00]: this is the first time I'm hearing this. I again try to explain that I don't feel comfortable

[00:02:07] [SPEAKER_00]: with that and that's quite short notice as I work until me and my brother fly over to

[00:02:11] [SPEAKER_00]: attend the wedding and a tattoo needs to be designed first right? He saw my message but

[00:02:16] [SPEAKER_00]: didn't reply anymore. This morning my mother called and she was furious, she asked why I

[00:02:22] [SPEAKER_00]: couldn't pull my shit together and just tattoo Matt. I told her what I've previously told

[00:02:26] [SPEAKER_00]: Matt as well but she didn't want to hear it, she just said that it would mean a lot to

[00:02:30] [SPEAKER_00]: her and Matt's family if I do that and it could be my wedding gift then she hung up.

[00:02:36] [SPEAKER_00]: I talked to my brother about it and he just shrugged it off and said, it would be nice

[00:02:40] [SPEAKER_00]: of you though. I'm unsure what to do now, as I said I'm not really comfortable with

[00:02:45] [SPEAKER_00]: the whole situation especially because I've never been guest spotting, I've never had

[00:02:49] [SPEAKER_00]: to travel let alone get on a plane with my equipment. But is that just selfish? I mean

[00:02:54] [SPEAKER_00]: it would mean a lot to apparently everyone and I'm just saying no.

[00:02:59] [SPEAKER_00]: Edit. 1. I do have an actual wedding gift already

[00:03:02] [SPEAKER_00]: as they sent out a wish list with their invitations. There was a point in that said artwork because

[00:03:07] [SPEAKER_00]: they recently moved into a bigger house and apparently they want random artwork to decorate.

[00:03:12] [SPEAKER_00]: I oil painted them a painting I spent several days on so I also don't plan to give him a

[00:03:16] [SPEAKER_00]: voucher as a gift. 2. Mattie doesn't have any tattoos as far

[00:03:20] [SPEAKER_00]: as I know. 3. I don't know what mom's problem is with

[00:03:24] [SPEAKER_00]: all of this, I think she just wants to keep the peace.

[00:03:27] [SPEAKER_00]: And we know the reason that she wants to keep the peace, say it with me guys, because...

[00:03:33] [SPEAKER_00]: AMELIE! That's such a bizarre request and absolutely

[00:03:38] [SPEAKER_00]: don't even consider doing this, you know hygiene for one. There's loads of other risks involved

[00:03:46] [SPEAKER_00]: in this as well. And I'm just trying to think of the logistics

[00:03:49] [SPEAKER_00]: of this situation. So you're in a wedding, I'm assuming this is going to be around all

[00:03:53] [SPEAKER_00]: the other guests so everyone's going to be stood around you probably drinking because

[00:03:56] [SPEAKER_00]: if you see someone getting tattooed at a wedding of course you're going to wander over there

[00:03:59] [SPEAKER_00]: and be like what the fuck's going on over here? What tattoo does he want? Tattoos can

[00:04:04] [SPEAKER_00]: take hours! My sleeve took 16 hours plus and I'm sure the dude's going to be in a nice

[00:04:10] [SPEAKER_00]: suit and when he has his tattoo it's going to be all bloody and drippy and nasty.

[00:04:14] [SPEAKER_00]: I understand it gets covered up but at your wedding date? What about his wife?

[00:04:22] [SPEAKER_00]: Absolutely just tell him though, I want to know what's going through your mum's mind.

[00:04:25] [SPEAKER_00]: I know we've got the family thing going on here but that's just such a wild thought process.

[00:04:32] [SPEAKER_00]: Dr. Seagull says not the arsehole. If Matt had his heart set on this happening at his wedding

[00:04:37] [SPEAKER_00]: then he should have discussed it with you as soon as possible, not one week before.

[00:04:41] [SPEAKER_00]: Jeez he knows a tattoo is permanent right? He wants you to just show up with a kit

[00:04:46] [SPEAKER_00]: in an unsterile environment and what? Just wing out a design on him, no prep, no planning,

[00:04:52] [SPEAKER_00]: all on his wedding day. It would have been better if he had contacted you and gotten the tattoo

[00:04:56] [SPEAKER_00]: done before the wedding and you could have revealed with it at the ceremony or healed etc.

[00:05:01] [SPEAKER_00]: Getting it done on the day for what reason? This just seems silly as fuck but mainly not

[00:05:06] [SPEAKER_00]: your problem. He should have given you more notice, that's on him. Maybe offer to do it

[00:05:11] [SPEAKER_00]: after the wedding. Tell him you'll look for inspiration for the design at their wedding

[00:05:15] [SPEAKER_00]: so it can be unique to their day. People react so differently to tattoos as well,

[00:05:23] [SPEAKER_00]: usually I'm fine with them but when I had the sleeve done, on the second session that I had

[00:05:28] [SPEAKER_00]: some done and they were also covering up a part of an old tattoo, we had to go over it and over

[00:05:34] [SPEAKER_00]: it and boy I felt so ill after that. Opie replied to that previous comment and said I especially

[00:05:39] [SPEAKER_00]: don't understand why should tattoo at a wedding since you can't or shouldn't combine getting

[00:05:44] [SPEAKER_00]: tattooed with drinking alcohol and knowing Matt there will be plenty of alcohol at this wedding.

[00:05:50] [SPEAKER_00]: Harry says not the arsehole, it's inappropriate for him to expect you to work for free at an

[00:05:54] [SPEAKER_00]: event to which you are a guest. Are you even licensed to tattoo in another state?

[00:05:59] [SPEAKER_00]: The entire thing sounds ludicrous, have your cousin your hourly rate, build in the PIA rate

[00:06:04] [SPEAKER_00]: for all your equipment and he needs to cover your flights and hotel. After all, flying in a

[00:06:09] [SPEAKER_00]: trained professional to perform a service costs money and he needs to pay up front since this

[00:06:15] [SPEAKER_00]: is a special service. Opie says I am actually licensed and I mean I would ask for money but

[00:06:20] [SPEAKER_00]: apparently they planned this as a wedding gift like my mum suggested, I can't imagine what they

[00:06:25] [SPEAKER_00]: are even thinking. I'm sorry to keep butting in with my own comments here but how disgustingly

[00:06:31] [SPEAKER_00]: rude is that as well to say they've planned this as a wedding gift from you without your saying it

[00:06:39] [SPEAKER_00]: at all. Cheeky bastards. Bwoopwoop says not the arsehole but aside from other things isn't the

[00:06:45] [SPEAKER_00]: tattoo like a wound, like it hurts and is red and inflamed and needs to be kept sterile and

[00:06:50] [SPEAKER_00]: separated from the external environment from the start? How does he plan this to happen during a

[00:06:55] [SPEAKER_00]: Also depending on the design it can take hours, he wants to sit on an uncomfortable chair for hours

[00:07:01] [SPEAKER_00]: while others party. Opie says yes exactly the tattoo needs to be kept safe especially in the

[00:07:07] [SPEAKER_00]: first 24-48 hours and yes it takes time. I'm not sure he is really aware of that or the pain.

[00:07:25] [SPEAKER_00]: Not as simple as plugging in a machine, there's so much involved especially if you want the tattoo

[00:07:29] [SPEAKER_00]: to be good and safe. I'm not even talking about the time it takes to design the tattoo either.

[00:07:35] [SPEAKER_00]: I was at a tattoo convention a few weeks ago because I was there early, I watched the artists

[00:07:39] [SPEAKER_00]: bringing in their equipment, all of it, it was definitely more than could fit in a suitcase.

[00:07:45] [SPEAKER_00]: Whenever I read these stories I get vivid images of what it looks like and I'm kind of picturing

[00:07:50] [SPEAKER_00]: this barn conversion kind of thing, hanging lights all the way across, beautiful scene,

[00:07:56] [SPEAKER_00]: magical scene. People gathered around on circular tables talking, chatting, drinking,

[00:08:02] [SPEAKER_00]: having a good time, celebrating the couple. Wife sat up on the head table, she's eating her meal

[00:08:08] [SPEAKER_00]: and then you got Opie and the groom in the corner. Vroooooom. I mean what the fuck.

[00:08:15] [SPEAKER_00]: Anyway I'm going to shut up now. Opie comes in with her update and says so the last hours

[00:08:20] [SPEAKER_00]: have been a lot. First off I called my mum and wow she asked me again, this time very friendly,

[00:08:26] [SPEAKER_00]: if I want to tattoo Matty at his wedding and again I said no with all the reasons I'd

[00:08:31] [SPEAKER_00]: previously given her plus some of the very good points you guys had. Before she could say anything

[00:08:37] [SPEAKER_00]: else added that I felt like she wouldn't take me and tattooing seriously. She didn't say

[00:08:41] [SPEAKER_00]: anything for a bit until she tried to explain that she really thought it wasn't a big deal.

[00:08:45] [SPEAKER_00]: I told her again that it is and that my mum of all people should know how my job works.

[00:08:51] [SPEAKER_00]: She agreed and apologized profusely. I then asked her if she'd like to attend and watch me work on

[00:08:56] [SPEAKER_00]: a client's appointment and to my surprise she said yes. Mum is tagging along tomorrow.

[00:09:02] [SPEAKER_00]: Now to Matty or rather his bride. I finally got a hold of the bride, let's say her name is Becky

[00:09:07] [SPEAKER_00]: and asked her about the request her fiance confronted me with. She seemed surprised as

[00:09:12] [SPEAKER_00]: she apparently had heard from my aunt that I made them something for their new house.

[00:09:17] [SPEAKER_00]: She assumed it would be a painting since I'm an artist of the family and it's known that I also

[00:09:22] [SPEAKER_00]: paint. I confirmed that but Matty has come forward with this out of the blue and that's not a good

[00:09:27] [SPEAKER_00]: idea for many reasons. She agreed with me immediately, I think she does have tattoos.

[00:09:33] [SPEAKER_00]: She thanked me for telling her as no one else did. Becky seemed really mad but she seemed to

[00:09:38] [SPEAKER_00]: have pulled herself together, I would have lost it. I'm assuming Becky confronted Matty after our

[00:09:43] [SPEAKER_00]: call because only 3-4 hours later I checked the family group chat and there was a message from

[00:09:49] [SPEAKER_00]: Becky. There will be no ceremony on the 13th as Matty and I decided we aren't getting married.

[00:09:55] [SPEAKER_00]: Matty and I have things to figure out so please text or call us tomorrow if you have questions.

[00:10:00] [SPEAKER_00]: For the rest of the day we'll be on flight mode. After dinner Becky called me and apologized for

[00:10:05] [SPEAKER_00]: Matt again. She said it was a stupid idea of his and that he just thought it would be cool.

[00:10:11] [SPEAKER_00]: She then informed me that she still wants me to fly over for the wedding day as she'll be hosting

[00:10:15] [SPEAKER_00]: a party instead of a wedding. Everything is paid for anyways and she doesn't want anything to go

[00:10:20] [SPEAKER_00]: to waste. I asked if they broke up, not yet but I'm going to stay at my sister's place until next week.

[00:10:26] [SPEAKER_00]: I'm assuming Matt hasn't been too great but I'm sure I hear about it. Apparently my brother and

[00:10:30] [SPEAKER_00]: mom aren't invited. My call must have been the last straw but as far as I'm concerned

[00:10:36] [SPEAKER_00]: Becky is handling it gracefully and Matt will be okay too I'm sure. So I'm going to a party

[00:10:41] [SPEAKER_00]: but did I just make a new friend? Thanks y'all for having my back.

[00:11:00] [SPEAKER_00]: Let us know your thoughts down in the comments below.

[00:11:05] [SPEAKER_00]: And let's move on to another story.

[00:11:08] [SPEAKER_00]: Now our next story comes from bitterpsychology6426 and says am I the arsehole for telling my parents

[00:11:14] [SPEAKER_00]: that if they don't like our lifestyle they can leave. I'm upset so I'll get right to the point.

[00:11:21] [SPEAKER_00]: My husband and I both make well over 6 figures but we work long hours and as a result when we're not

[00:11:27] [SPEAKER_00]: working or at the gym working out we just want to veg out. So we when not working will generally

[00:11:33] [SPEAKER_00]: make breakfast but order out lunch and dinner or go out to eat. If we are working we eat out all

[00:11:39] [SPEAKER_00]: three meals, our loans are paid off, we own our condo and we have no children so eating and

[00:11:44] [SPEAKER_00]: ordering out makes us happy. We also have a cleaning lady come twice a week to clean out

[00:11:49] [SPEAKER_00]: home and do our laundry. Our parents came to visit and were upset that we didn't cook for them the

[00:11:55] [SPEAKER_00]: week except for breakfast. We took the week off because we both knew both sets of parents were

[00:12:00] [SPEAKER_00]: coming. We told them that we don't cook except for breakfast but our condo is right next door to a

[00:12:06] [SPEAKER_00]: plaza and has a grocery store and they are welcome to cook if they like. But there were quite a few

[00:12:11] [SPEAKER_00]: restaurants that we have yet to take them to so why not try one of them. They got us on how much

[00:12:16] [SPEAKER_00]: money we were spending and my mother in law got on me when the cleaning lady came and said I should

[00:12:21] [SPEAKER_00]: be doing the cleaning because she worked and cleaned and took care of kids so doesn't get why

[00:12:25] [SPEAKER_00]: I can't. Which pissed me off so I went off and told her, because I'm not superwoman and I have

[00:12:31] [SPEAKER_00]: no desire to be and refuse to try and if she wants a participation trophy for being overworked and

[00:12:36] [SPEAKER_00]: underpaid she can head to the bar and have a shot of Jamesons. I then told her and my parents that

[00:12:42] [SPEAKER_00]: I did not spend 4 years in college and 2 in graduate school to play Florence from the Jeffersons,

[00:12:47] [SPEAKER_00]: it's an 80s show that my parents love to watch. So they went on to complain about how much money we

[00:12:53] [SPEAKER_00]: were wasting. My husband told them that it is not their money, it's ours and we don't consider it a

[00:13:01] [SPEAKER_00]: waste. We told them the last thing we want to do when we get off from work is cook and clean.

[00:13:05] [SPEAKER_00]: My husband told his mom that he never understood why she would work herself to the bone like that

[00:13:10] [SPEAKER_00]: even when he and his sisters tried to pitch in and help. She insisted on doing everything herself.

[00:13:15] [SPEAKER_00]: I told her I will not be doing that. So they went on about an emergency fund,

[00:13:21] [SPEAKER_00]: we told them before we started living the way we do, we made sure our student loans were paid off

[00:13:25] [SPEAKER_00]: and we each have a year's salary saved up plus investments so we are good thank you. My dad

[00:13:31] [SPEAKER_00]: tried to be intrusive and ask how much money we both made and we said none of your business,

[00:13:37] [SPEAKER_00]: at the same time which made us both laugh but they were not laughing. They didn't like our

[00:13:42] [SPEAKER_00]: reaction and felt we were wasting money. We told them if they have a problem with our lifestyle

[00:13:46] [SPEAKER_00]: they could all leave. So they ubered to a hotel, we really didn't want them to leave,

[00:13:52] [SPEAKER_00]: just to drop the subject. So are we idiots for telling them they could leave?

[00:14:16] [SPEAKER_00]: I love my dad to bits and I hope you got that from when I spoke about him in the past

[00:14:26] [SPEAKER_00]: through this channel. That will never change. He's from a very different generation and I was

[00:14:33] [SPEAKER_00]: talking to him about when I was going to start doing YouTube. I was going to leave my old job

[00:14:39] [SPEAKER_00]: and start doing YouTube full time. He was adamant it's a waste of time, it's a bad decision etc.

[00:14:47] [SPEAKER_00]: Hasn't been so far, he might prove me wrong one day but it just felt like a very different

[00:14:53] [SPEAKER_00]: generation talking to me. There's no way I'd want to damage our relationship over his views of that

[00:14:59] [SPEAKER_00]: I knew he would never quite get where I was coming from with what I was doing and many people working

[00:15:06] [SPEAKER_00]: in social media these days. He just didn't get that. I learned quickly not to talk about that

[00:15:12] [SPEAKER_00]: kind of stuff with him. I occasionally mentioned the YouTube stuff, people wishing him well

[00:15:16] [SPEAKER_00]: on YouTube when he was going through what he went through but it was an unconstructive conversation

[00:15:22] [SPEAKER_00]: whenever it came up really. So that wasn't the conversation we'd have really. I think it's just

[00:15:26] [SPEAKER_00]: a different type of lifestyle and that's the only way I can relate it to opiate in this story.

[00:15:32] [SPEAKER_00]: Maybe a generational thing, again not excusing it because frankly it is none of their business and

[00:15:38] [SPEAKER_00]: I totally agree with you on this one. So the first commenter says not the arsehole but you're living

[00:15:43] [SPEAKER_00]: a lifestyle they simply can't understand. You've been smart with your money, didn't have a bunch

[00:15:48] [SPEAKER_00]: of children to pay for, have good educations, good jobs. It sounds as if you've tried to explain

[00:15:53] [SPEAKER_00]: without giving them info that is none of their business. You went a bit far with the you can

[00:15:58] [SPEAKER_00]: leave as they did not have much of a choice at that point. When you talk to them eventually just

[00:16:02] [SPEAKER_00]: tell them nicely that your finances and what you spend are not up for discussion. My son and

[00:16:08] [SPEAKER_00]: daughter in law have a lifestyle similar to yours and unlike your parents I'm so happy they're able

[00:16:12] [SPEAKER_00]: to enjoy life without worries and finances. Horneggplant says not the arsehole but if you

[00:16:19] [SPEAKER_00]: avoid hurt feelings going forward, then learn some grey rocking strategies and make a habit of

[00:16:26] [SPEAKER_00]: these being your go to. I guess since you're trying to make peace and make amends it would

[00:16:31] [SPEAKER_00]: be counterproductive to point out to them that choosing a hotel when given the option of that

[00:16:35] [SPEAKER_00]: or dropping the damn subject was completely lacking in any financial foresight and a waste of money.

[00:16:41] [SPEAKER_00]: Candessa Stays says my own parents could never understand the concept of

[00:16:45] [SPEAKER_00]: quality of life. I watched them work themselves to the bone and still feel like failures because

[00:16:50] [SPEAKER_00]: they weren't working 24-7. Trying to explain that I work to live and not live to work was

[00:16:56] [SPEAKER_00]: like speaking Danish to English speakers, they had no common vocabulary to go on. It seems to me

[00:17:02] [SPEAKER_00]: that you and your husband have taken care of the essential things like good grown ups,

[00:17:06] [SPEAKER_00]: they should be proud that they helped create such responsible adults.

[00:17:10] [SPEAKER_00]: One more comment from Amberlicious who says my mother in law believes that our chosen professions

[00:17:15] [SPEAKER_00]: are less than. When we bought our first house together, questioned if we could afford it.

[00:17:21] [SPEAKER_00]: When we bought our first business, she also questioned that. When we sold it years later and

[00:17:25] [SPEAKER_00]: took 9 months off, she questioned that. When we sold that house and bought a new business in

[00:17:30] [SPEAKER_00]: another state, she questioned that. Some people cannot comprehend that doing things your way

[00:17:35] [SPEAKER_00]: is the best way for yourselves. But yes, still killing it. LOL

[00:17:41] [SPEAKER_00]: So OP updates the post and says I've texted both sets of parents and told them that I'm sorry for

[00:17:46] [SPEAKER_00]: what I said and want them to come back as I never wanted them to leave. But I know what I said about

[00:17:51] [SPEAKER_00]: them leaving was out of line, I just wanted to drop the subject but my way about it was wrong.

[00:17:56] [SPEAKER_00]: I told them whether they decide to come back I would like to reimburse them for the hotel rooms.

[00:18:01] [SPEAKER_00]: Second update, yeah we just met up at a restaurant near the hotel,

[00:18:05] [SPEAKER_00]: they didn't want to eat so we sat at the bar and talked. We told them that our finances are

[00:18:09] [SPEAKER_00]: business and that we told them that if they didn't like it they could leave we were not

[00:18:13] [SPEAKER_00]: literal when we said it, we just wanted to drop the subject. They continued that we are wasting

[00:18:18] [SPEAKER_00]: money. We told them that it is our money to waste and just because they consider it wasting money

[00:18:23] [SPEAKER_00]: we don't. We consider it one of the perks of our very fortunate life and it was not going to change.

[00:18:29] [SPEAKER_00]: We told them that we appreciate their concern but we know what we are doing.

[00:18:33] [SPEAKER_00]: And they didn't have to agree with it but it's not up for discussion or debate.

[00:18:36] [SPEAKER_00]: We told them we would love to have them back and to enjoy the rest of the week with them

[00:18:40] [SPEAKER_00]: but any comments or conversation about how we spend our money will not be allowed.

[00:18:44] [SPEAKER_00]: They agreed and were taking them to a restaurant a little off the beaten path

[00:18:48] [SPEAKER_00]: that we know they will love. No they didn't apologize but we didn't expect them to.

[00:19:12] [SPEAKER_00]: So, thank you so much for being involved. Truly. Seeing the same folks pop up in the comments

[00:19:17] [SPEAKER_00]: daily, you make my day. Thank you and I will see you in the next one. Take care and much love.