My Comment To My Boyfriend's Sister Got Me Kicked Out Of The Family r/Relationships

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[00:02:33] anyone upset but when their dad came into the room and asked them what was wrong they told him everything he then asked me to leave his house and said i probably shouldn't come back anytime soon because i was overstepping they found it rude that i was making up a problem and pressuring t to solve it me and g went back to our apartment and we haven't been speaking where do i go from here edits for more info the others are invited but they're older so i assume they can just do their

[00:03:02] own thing i'm not obsessed with their financial situation i just think it's important that t starts making money on her own so she can value it more she's used to getting her hair nails and sometimes makeup done and paid for not to mention how much product she buys for her hair and sanitary products it'll hit her hard how much this stuff costs when she's older so why not start learning that now now

[00:03:27] for me in this you did massively overstep and it didn't feel like you was helping t learn about financial responsibility that just feels like it's a excuse after you've been called out for it you literally spoke up to try and exclude a teenager or be an older one from her own family celebration you put that pressure on her and you seem to be so focused on her finances that you know about

[00:03:53] how many products she buys for her hair and sanitary products that's weird for me and i kind of wonder what other comments have been raised up in the past from op in this because the dad's reaction was pretty swift and the fact is the parents want their children there for their celebration for their marriage and family and you seem to be the only one who thinks that they need space so there was a couple of comments in this one where op replied to him the first one was one

[00:04:22] that was downvoted by the way but it said sometimes after certain situations or actions people do a bit of self-reflection seems to me that is what op is doing op said sorry she was asked to leave i don't know what op has to let go of op from her previous comments appears to stand by her thought process and if what she wrote was true i'd have no reason to believe otherwise that she made the suggestions with the best of intentions i can't fault her i'd be aggrieved too op says yes i'm tired of

[00:04:52] apologizing for making suggestions me and g had talked about wanting to get married in the future and i feel like he's the one he's also close to his family how am i supposed to have a healthy relationship with them and give my opinions if they're always shooting me down commenter replies saying why was it so important to you to bring this up to her and why push it you say you've given so many apologies can you give an example who are you to decide how they should spend their money

[00:05:20] op says my boyfriend told me about how his parents plan on putting their homes in their kids names so they can sell it and split the earnings between the four of them when they're about to kick the bucket i told him he shouldn't rely on his parents to give him money so if they do end up selling the house i suggest that they put all of that money into an account for their parents so they can live out their last years comfortably so sometime later op did come in with her update and they said last

[00:05:47] night me and g had a long and serious talk about my comments at the dinner along with some of my past comments he told me while in my family refusing a free trip when you're invited may be seen as noble in his family refusing a free trip is seen as stupid in my family if someone offers to pay for you you should always decline no matter what my parents made me work all throughout high school and always told me i'd have to get a scholarship to help pay for college because they weren't going to

[00:06:14] do it it is a courtesy in my family to not expect help with finances no matter how tough it may get to only eat one serving at dinner gatherings to always pay your own way and we often voice our opinions no matter what they are he then went into discussing the trip to france his mother has extended family who live there so this will not be the first or last time they all go it'd be the first time they explore the area even if t wasn't old enough to go off on her own and didn't know her where around

[00:06:44] all the language she'd be just fine and if his mom and dad wanted alone time she'd be just fine on her own even if they didn't have family there when me and g first started dating and we were talking about our family history he told me about how his maternal great-grandparents moved to america from france i was under the impression that everyone from his mother's extended family moved not just the great grandparents and their children apparently his mother thought my behavior was because i didn't

[00:07:12] feel welcomed by them and the dinner was to invite me on the france trip as a sort of peace offering however after his father caught me trying to sway t he had enough and decided he couldn't take it anymore no matter what his wife says he will not tolerate me being around the rest of the family or in their home any longer this came as a shock to the family as his dad doesn't speak much and is usually calm and composed my boyfriend also showed me his photos from his parents wedding it looked like

[00:07:40] one of the most fairy tale like weddings i'd ever seen it was held at chateau chelaine apologies about that pronunciation and he explained how they plan on renting the space again and flying all of their extended out to celebrate with them because they want to celebrate with everybody and will take time for themselves later on in the summer they also teared up listening to how his parents met after graduating high school his mother spent the summer in france with her family and his dad was

[00:08:07] visiting along with his older brother his dad had struggled with cancer nearly his entire life up to that point and it was supposed to be his dad's last trip before he let himself go because he was tired of it all one morning while eating alone at a cafe he recognized her as the most beautiful girl he's ever seen who spent her time helping out with her family with a restaurant running it like it was the navy someone who wasn't afraid to call customers out when they're being unreasonable or just downright rude

[00:08:35] and someone who knew exactly what she wanted and how to get it the complete opposite of him they spent the day together which inspired his father to continue his cancer treatment accomplish his goals and start taking life more seriously so he could be by her side for as long as she'd have him his parents always told him and his siblings the only thing in life they value more than each other are their children and they want to make sure if life ever gets hard for them they have something to

[00:09:02] fall back on he told me he'd be moving back in with his parents until he can find a new apartment he also revoked my invitation to their family christmas trip to aspen which we were supposed to be leaving for tonight i feel like i'm in a darman video right now what the fuck on another note my friend saw my initial post and gave me an intervention i will be attending therapy for the foreseeable future may update when i unpack what's wrong with me edit for info people seem to be

[00:09:30] confused when i say his father recognized his mother in france i mean that literally as they're from the same hometown another info some people think that i'm saying love cured his father's cancer i was told that is what made him continue treatment that's all i was told and one more info which says i've also gotten comments about years of chateau chelaine becoming a wedding venue and the wedding not making sense unless i'm misremembering something i remember him saying that they were married there

[00:09:59] maybe i'm mixing up locations where he was talking about the wedding venue and the wedding anniversary venue and look i don't think op was right in the beginning and in some ways it's probably a predictable outcome there but i'm glad op is getting some kind of therapy they talked about their background etc and it sounds like there is some stuff to unpack there so you know regardless of what happened i do wish them the best going forward and i hope that they are able to discover themselves

[00:10:26] a bit more but what do you guys make of this situation let us know your thoughts down in the comments below and let's move on to another story ob true crime comedy oder news hör was du willst so viel du willst mit all die talk streamst du jetzt endlich unendlich denn du kannst so oft du willst daten kostenlos nachbuchen und das ohne vertragsbindung

[00:10:53] hol dir die neuen aldi talk tarife schon ab 9 99 mit bis zu 50 100 oder 150 mbit und 5g aber nur bis zum 30 6. jetzt in deiner aldi filiale oder in der aldi talk app aldi gutes für alle now our next story is coming from a user called oh fiddlesticks that's titled friend 26 male said

[00:11:19] horrible things about me 23 female all while he's staying at my place along with all his things for free it is ass gone and too too soon mark too soon it starts off my friend kevin recently had to move out of a house him plus his family were renting i've known him since i was about 13 and we've kept up a friendship or what i thought was a friendship ever since then i've helped kevin

[00:11:44] out numerous times from picking up groceries for him when he was out of a job and didn't have money to taking him back and forth to work for months at a time i thought he was my friend and friends help each other so about two months ago his mom yep he does indeed still live at home with his mother his sister 19 and three other people who aren't related to him lost their job and they were no longer able to make rent he's currently unemployed and asked if i had anywhere for him to stay and put

[00:12:13] some of his things stupidly i agreed i told him he'd only be able to stay certain days because i wasn't comfortable with him being there when i wasn't and i also need time to myself so it averaged out that he stays about three days a week give or take a day or two if i say it's okay anyways he stayed this last friday and everything went fine he had someone pick him up the next morning to go

[00:12:38] job hunting and left edited to point out he wasn't really job hunting he was out with his friend picking up pills and molly to sell on the side this is a major reason i want him out of my house i could overlook the shit talking in order to make things go smoothly but i absolutely will not tolerate being friends with someone who sells drugs been there done that he left his phone at first i

[00:13:03] wasn't snooping we both have the exact same phone and it was laying on my computer desk where mine usually is anyway and i heard it vibrate obviously i picked it up thinking it was mine and that someone text me but i was wrong display opens up to a conversation he's having with one of his friends and it's about me i know that i shouldn't have read it and i wouldn't have had the first text i saw said

[00:13:27] so are you still at that bitch's house bitch meaning me i was hurt out sick to my stomach and stupidly continued to read the rest of the conversation this guy has said horrible things about me he accused me of lying on certain days when i said i was busy said that i lied about my father having cancer he does in fact have cancer and it's bad not sure how much longer he has left and obviously i'm at my

[00:13:53] parents house a lot to see him and help my mother care for him he called me a see you next tuesday numerous times said i was two-faced that i was a shitty friend talk shit about my boyfriend etc one text was like the only thing that would make this deal any better is if she started fucking and sucking me but that's not gonna happen because she so crawled up her boyfriend's ass it broke my heart because i really thought i was helping him out and now i see it was pretty much just taking advantage of

[00:14:21] me so now i'm stuck he's staying at a friend's house right now and that friend came and picked up his phone on saturday so i didn't see kevin i don't know what to do save for about four outfits i currently have all of his clothes in my possession i also have some of his furniture well his mom's in my storage unit because they're living with family members i don't want to bring anything i read up i understand that was a violation of his privacy but it doesn't change the fact that he said all those

[00:14:49] things and that i know he said them this isn't a oops i accidentally unlocked my boyfriend's phone and read every text or facebook conversation since the beginning of time thing i had no intentions of looking at his phone honestly thought it was mine until i saw that text i should have stopped but i'm glad i didn't because not only do i know what he said i also know about the drugs so right now how do i explain to him that he needs to get his things and find somewhere else to stay without it being a

[00:15:16] problem i don't want to make kevin mad because i know what he's capable of when he doesn't like someone and it looks as if he doesn't like me right now anyway so i really don't want him coming here and destroying my house or something kind of at a loss here it's not a roommate situation so i don't really have to give him a time frame or anything of when he needs to leave but at the same time i don't want to be a bitch about it and tell him to just come get his shit and never speak to me i was thinking of telling him that one of my relatives or something is coming down

[00:15:45] and needs to use my spare bedroom but that doesn't solve the issue of his furniture still being in my storage unit reddit you got any ideas titty sprinkle says here is what you do you get a real friend to move all of his shit out of your storage unit and you take his clothes and put them in the same pile and then you tell kevin he can go pick up his pile of shit and to not contact you this is not a friend this is an asshole who has taken advantage of you you owe him nothing the point of

[00:16:12] you finding out he is talking about you is completely moot what he said was so unbelievably disrespectful it is your home and your happiness you just kick his ass to the curb seriously it's that easy opie replies saying it's not that easy though i'm seriously worried if i just tell him get the fuck out don't contact me here's where your stuff is he'll go batshit and try to break into my house for an

[00:16:37] anonymity's sake i'm not going to go into a detailed description of why i think that save for that he's done it before when he was younger i had no knowledge of that before reading the text but i know that now too which is why i'm worried about that i do have a home security system but i'd rather avoid that at all costs diddy sprinkle replies and honestly if you are legitimately afraid of something like that would happen then tell the police what is going on and ask them to add some patrol to the area

[00:17:02] you can't live in fear of a bully i understand it's scary but if he feels like he can bully you which i have a strong suspicion he already has then he will continue to scare you to get his way if you have a home security system and you change your locks you will be just fine you need to make this a clean break and the only way to do that is to box up his stuff drop it off and ignore him you owe him nothing opie says he doesn't have a key and he's never been in possession of my keys

[00:17:28] there's only two sets anyway mine and my boyfriend so he's getting locks change mandatory only curious about this because it's set up with my security system i can opt in to receive an email slash text anytime my door is locked or unlocked so i'm unsure if messing with the locks would fuck with that too someone asked saying if opie lives with a boyfriend or if he can stay over opie says unfortunately no he does stay here from friday to monday but i go to his house tuesday and wednesday

[00:17:56] and unfortunately my friend knows this as this has been our routine for the past four years so he knows when i'm not home but he also knows i have an alarm and there was lots of comments you know just just saying kick him out call the police it's that simple really and i get where they're coming from i really do but i think about my past and growing up in the area that i did and there was all sorts of shit going on let me tell you dealers and potentially dangerous people if you stay amicable with them you know you're absolutely fine but you piss them

[00:18:26] off you're potentially in big trouble and yeah people will say just report that to the police if you're that worried which again i get is the correct thing to do but the police can't be at your door 24 7 guarding it let me tell you and again i know i'm projecting here from my own from my own childhood and what i've seen because because this might be a completely different situation but it just feels like he's the type of person that i've seen in my past so i can only

[00:18:51] relate in that way but let me briefly tell you where i live where i did and above me and about four doors along a new family moved in one kid was 15 one was 19 absolute fucking animals they were dealing robbing people in town and sure police would come around take him away a bit later on the day they'd be background again just doing the normal shit partying massive parties you know drugs there

[00:19:18] and all sorts someone reports a noise that person would find a brick through their window the next day and the police could warn them because that's all they could do because they couldn't prove it was them that through the brick and i'm not saying this saying that you shouldn't report them or anything like that because you know that's not right either i totally get that all i can say is where i came from and i know it's not right but op also needs to look after their safety at the same time so maybe they

[00:19:44] could do some of these things they could you know let the police know what's going on put all of his stuff somewhere and say that's your stuff collect it put new security systems in but also i would think at the same time is maybe talk to your boyfriend moving with him for a certain period while this is happening just to see what happens take all your best possessions to his house for the time being until it all calms down because i wouldn't trust it either if i was you but again this is my own

[00:20:10] projection right and i think you need to be as safe as possible but op came in with an update and said after reading a comment that she saw i decided to stop being a pussy about it and just tell him to get his shit i packed up all of his clothes and the rest of the stuff he had here and waited till my boyfriend got off of work when he got here i called kevin and told him to come get his stuff that he couldn't stay here anymore then hung up he started texting me this is pretty much the conversation

[00:20:39] kevin said what the fuck you know i didn't have anywhere to stay tonight what the fuck am i supposed to do now opi says i don't know maybe get a decent job and keep it so you actually have somewhere to stay instead of couch surfing kevin said what the fuck is that supposed to mean i didn't think you'd give a shit how long i stayed you have a spare bedroom it's not like it matters opi says yes i have a spare bedroom i meaning mine the spare bedroom in my house that i went to college and got a decent

[00:21:06] job and saved up money to afford buying i didn't buy it so my friends could crash in it and live here rent free kevin said fine be like that it's a really fucked up and bitchy thing to do i'll have my i'm busy right now so it ends up being around 1am and still haven't heard from him and my boyfriend is getting pissed boyfriend calls him up and says look you have 15 minutes to get here and get your stuff or it's going out by the road got another text from kevin calling my boyfriend the douche

[00:21:35] and i do whatever my boyfriend says and then that's why you're kicking me out you don't give a shit you're doing it because josh told you to obviously that isn't true my boyfriend doesn't care who stays at my house and he's never been mean or anything to kevin i don't text him back and about 20 minutes later kevin and two of his friends show up they all get out of the car and start to come in and my boyfriend just blocked the doorway and tells him they're not coming in and that his stuff is already

[00:22:02] packed up kevin comes in grabs his laundry basket of clothes and starts handing off his stuff to the guys from the doorway before kevin leaves he turns around to me and is like this is really fucking bullshit i thought we were friends i just said so did i and shut the door he hasn't tried to text me or call me anymore but his mom did she was nice and just asked if i had some time in the next few weeks if i could meet her at my storage unit to get the rest of her things i have no problem with

[00:22:30] his mom and i'm certainly not going to keep her away from her furniture but i have no plans at all to talk to kevin people were asking if opie was scared when he brought the two friends along opie said oh my god my heart dropped when i saw them get out of the car i knew both of the guys though from going to high school with them and afterwards realized that the two guys lived together and only one of them has a car so kevin is most likely crashing with them i don't think it was a scare tactic because as soon as my boyfriend told them they weren't coming in they were both like oh sorry man i

[00:23:00] understand we're way out here no problem they just sat on the porch playing games on their cell phone till kevin asked them to take his stuff to the car when told not to go alone to meet the mom at the storage place opie said well she called a few minutes ago and asked if i'll be free on friday sometime because she's found another house to rent and started apologizing to me for the way kevin acted it apparently went to her bitching because i wasn't letting him stay and she started telling me

[00:23:25] that she didn't blame me for kicking him out and if he wasn't her only son she would have dropped his ass a long time ago nevertheless i don't feel comfortable meeting her by myself so my boyfriend and his brother are going with me i can excuse them being there by saying it's to help her load up her truck and boyfriend brought this up earlier we decided we'll meet the mom and i'll stay at the house i'm hoping my alarm and my large dog which he's scared of will keep anything from happening

[00:23:52] hopefully opie when told not to let the friend back in her life opie says no worries there after reading those texts i'm done with this guy it was fucked up everything he said and i only posted the mild stuff if it had been something like oh she's stubborn or that i was cranky or grumpy it wouldn't be a big deal everything he said drugs included i'm so done with that shit i'm an adult and i don't have time for that when someone told opie to move they said unfortunately i can't move i bought my

[00:24:21] grandparents house from them when they retired and would never be able to get a house this size the acreage from what i got it for i love where i live and certainly wouldn't move away because of something like him more on the texting opie said unfortunately i wish it was like this the person he was talking to about me used to be a mutual friend that i don't associate with anymore because i don't party or drink or do drugs the conversation talking shit about me went back months and months

[00:24:48] pretty much every time i've ever hung out with this guy he texts this other guy to talk shit one time in particular i was talking to kevin about some family problems you know you do that when you're friends i had texted this guy a whole conversation and was like she's such a liar i don't give a shit what happens in her life none of it was a lie and it hurt me to think the entire time i was spilling my guts and heart out to him he was just making fun of me and it seems my projection was completely wrong

[00:25:17] but i'm glad op was able to work stuff out in the end get him out of your house and just be done with him and you know no one's got time for that sort of drama in their life do they but what do you guys make of this situation let us know your thoughts down in the comments below now just a huge thank you for being here today getting involved in the stories your love your support your time it always means the absolute world to me so thank you so so much and hopefully i'll see you in the next one

[00:25:45] take care and much love