My Brother-In-Law Secretly Made A Plan To Destroy My Marriage r/Relationships

[00:00:30] Hey Waffle Gang, I do hope you are well, my name is Mark and today we're checking out some more Reddit stories. If you do love a Reddit story why not consider hitting that like subscribe, maybe that notification bell too and let's crack on with today's first story.

[00:00:52] Much love guys. Now today's first story comes from the true off my chest subreddit from expensiveopinion952 and says my brother in law is the reason why my husband divorced me. And as always you may have heard parts of this story on other channels but there is

[00:01:09] a new update to this as well so if you do want to use the timestamp to skip certain parts of the story please feel free to do so they're always down in the description and along the timeline below. Thank you.

[00:01:19] It says I, female 38 met my brother in law male 38 at uni. He asked me out in our first year and I refused. He called me the c word and that I am shallow.

[00:01:31] My best friend told me that it was harmless comments from a drunken guy who got rejected. I never thought myself shallow, it was his demeanor and awkwardness that was off putting to me. Anyway, he proved my friend right and other than these comments I have never felt uncomfortable

[00:01:47] during my uni years because he never bothered me again, not even looked my way. Next time I met him was when my baby sister, female 28 introduced him as her boyfriend. I didn't even recognize him at first because it was like 9-10 years since that day he talked

[00:02:04] to me. He was visibly annoyed that I didn't recognize him and called me a liar. My family was skeptical at first about him but he seemed to treat my sister right and she seemed happy.

[00:02:15] She is very rich, taking her all over the world and he seemed kind with it too. They got married after a year of dating, they have 3 children. I met my now ex male 40 5 years ago and the only odd comment from my brother in law was

[00:02:30] that I was still as shallow and superficial as I was in uni. At the time I took it as a joke but in hindsight when I found out the truth and started thinking back looking for red flags, this was probably a big one.

[00:02:44] He never showed any signs that he disliked my husband and he was always decent enough and his indifference to have a close friendship with my husband and I didn't seem odd because he was always a recluse.

[00:02:54] A year ago my husband came home and accused me of cheating and he had evidence. The guy contacted him and he had nudes etc with me on his phone. The guy told my husband that he didn't know at first that I was married but as soon as

[00:03:09] he found out he contacted my now ex. He even apologized to my husband. I have never met this guy in my life, nothing I said or did made my husband believe me. He left me and our divorce is pending.

[00:03:23] Then yesterday that guy contacted me, he apologized for what he did and told me that he is friends with my brother in law. He sent me conversations, endless conversations my brother in law had about me for years.

[00:03:36] He has never forgotten that I in his words didn't even give him a chance and only judged him by his looks. He called me the c word in that chat. Both group chats with his friends but mostly with this guy.

[00:03:48] They planned this attack and my brother in law somehow got access to my photos. The reason this guy contacted me now is that he felt guilty because even when my marriage is over, my brother in law still was angry and hateful especially when he heard that

[00:04:03] I was on a date last weekend. So the friend felt that he didn't help his friend but ruined innocent people's lives. Not sure what to do. My brother in law has actually been happier and more sociable than usual since my divorce

[00:04:18] and now I know why although first I thought he felt sorry and wanted to support me. His jokes about me ending up an old maid with cats as companions don't sound like jokes anymore, he meant them.

[00:04:30] I don't want to ruin my sister's life, she is very happy with her husband. I'm not sure either if I can with her husband, I'm not sure if I should tell my ex or not. I'm very heartbroken that he didn't believe me, love him very much.

[00:04:44] He is the love of my life but I'm not sure I can forgive him for not believing me. But he is a victim in this too, so maybe he needs to know foreclosure. I'm so terribly sad and hurt. I'm sorry this post got very long.

[00:05:00] Some of the top comments from that post so wine says it wouldn't shock me if this guy found your sister and is dating her just to remain close to you. Feels too coincidental that he somehow popped back into your life and then got mad that

[00:05:13] you didn't remember him. OP says I feel so too and makes it even worse. AHC says why wouldn't you tell your sister her husband is batshit crazy. Firefly says and seems weirdly obsessed with OP to the point their marriage might be a weird revenge fantasy for him.

[00:05:33] Blue Diamond says omg that's entirely possible, I wonder how much OP and her sister look alike. OP replied to that saying my family and friends believed me. It's been hard and lonely but I have had the support I needed.

[00:05:47] I know I don't want to expose him while my sister and children are still with him but then I don't know how to start. If she chooses to stay with him, then she's in danger that I put her in and yet I can't help her.

[00:05:59] We are very close. She's the baby of the house. So OP gave some like mini update slash comments. First one said oh god I just remembered something, my sister has my passcode. He's an IT guy but maybe it wasn't that he hacked my account or something complicated.

[00:06:18] Next comment said my soon to be ex husband knows everything now. Apparently the guy who contacted me contacted my husband at the same time and confessed to him. My soon to be ex is coming to town this weekend and he wants to talk.

[00:06:30] Afterwards I will probably need to look into taking legal actions if that's possible and tell my family. I think now that exposing him is the best and more safe approach should anything more serious happen. At least people would be aware of who to blame.

[00:06:43] I want to at least make sure that my sister and her children are in safety before I tell them everything. Like meeting them at my parents house after I tell my parents. The pictures was real and were probably stolen from my phone on my husband's because he

[00:06:56] is the only one I took the pictures for. I don't know if I can get any justice since the pictures were not of my face. At least I was smart enough not to have my face shown in nudes. I don't know what will happen.

[00:07:08] I've tried so much to forget about him and I thought I have managed well. But hearing his voice today after over a year just brought back all good memories. I haven't stopped crying today missing him.

[00:07:19] Hope he had some additional information about the brother in law and says he's been following me throughout my uni years and even afterwards. I finally found my sister and managed to charm her.

[00:07:30] When they got married I was single and apparently he was telling his friends how he was glad I was old and single and miserable. Not my experience of my single life.

[00:07:40] Then when I met my husband he was angry because he didn't think I would find someone at my age. 33. Now when we are getting a divorce he is very pleased again saying I would definitely never find someone at 38. That I would regret turning him down.

[00:07:54] But I was on a date last weekend so he spiraled down again and was angry and wrote horrible things about me but his friend chose to come forward because he thought that my divorce wasn't enough for this guy. His words.

[00:08:06] That guy is absolutely terrifying the level of obsession. It sounds dangerous man. And I totally like with the information we got so far understand her concern for her sister at the same time. We don't know what's going on behind closed doors.

[00:08:24] A commenter says to OP after that last update and says I truly hope you both still have the love for each other. OP says I do but I don't know if he still does.

[00:08:33] He doesn't live here anymore and I'm not sure if I can trust him again or he me for that matter. My breakup was a mess and he was in real shock because he couldn't believe this of me.

[00:08:43] He called me all kinds of stuff psychopath, fake, low life, disgusting and he couldn't believe I could try to trick him like this and act like I had morals. Nothing I said made him believe me. It made him even madder because I was still so convincing.

[00:08:59] I don't know. There was a lot of hurt there. So sometime later OP comes in with an update and says hi yes I met with my husband and it didn't go well at all. We talked and he apologized and asked me to forgive him.

[00:09:12] He said that he never truly believed that I would cheat but the evidence was overwhelming and he just thought that he believed me because he was blindsided by his love for me.

[00:09:21] He then wanted to head over to my sister and her husband to confront him but I asked him not to until I am comfortable that my sister is at least at my parents. I wanted my parents to ask her to go visit them and we tell her then.

[00:09:33] That way she is not with her husband when she finds out and he finds out that he is exposed. This morning I got many calls and texts from everyone because my husband went and did it anyway and he had a huge fight with my brother in law.

[00:09:46] He denied everything of course so my husband blasted him on social media and made an apology for believing rumors about me. My sister was angry with me and my parents were confused and shocked.

[00:09:56] I have talked to my parents and told them everything now and they believe me but they agree I should have given the chance to talk to my sister before hell broke loose. Now she is not speaking to me because my husband tried to beat up her husband.

[00:10:09] He made it worse yes. He has always been calm and collected and good at de-escalating bad situations. My brother knew he would act so rash and make things worse. And in this next little section there is talk of suicide within this part so if you want

[00:10:23] to skip it please feel free to do so. It will be about a minute I guess. But it says. I really don't have much to add. My sister is very angry. She said that I have ruined her husband's reputation because my ex has blasted him and

[00:10:36] his friend everywhere. Now he is talking about wanting to end his life because I ruined it because of a joke he played. My parents have told her everything the day everything was exposed and apparently she

[00:10:47] believed them, me, at first but now she turned on me so she is refusing to listen. I wish I could have a moment with her first before hell broke.

[00:11:46] No Baseball says how are things OP? Get him back with her husband. OP said I think he is seeing someone. Soda Butt Wolf says If he isn't at least hitting the pause button on any new relationship until this is sorted out then he was never worthy of you.

[00:12:17] If you and he really do continue on the path of divorce over this, he adds a lawsuit against your brother in law. Please OP see a lawyer. You have evidence. You have real damage to your life. You have a very good civil case against your brother in law.

[00:12:31] Never mind your sister. Her marriage has been built on a lie. You can sue your brother in law and there will be plenty left over for her and her own divorce. OP says he is looking for jobs here because he wants to move back.

[00:12:45] I got very anxious and asked if he is doing it because of me because we are not together and this wasn't the right time to pressure me but he said he was doing it for himself

[00:12:53] and that he doesn't want anything from me but that and he doesn't want to leave town for brother in law to think he has easy prey to harm. I didn't ask about the one he is seeing.

[00:13:03] I felt it would be disrespectful to interrogate him since I have no right to do that. Maybe it is not serious or maybe she is willing to move here. I don't know. I have spoken to lawyers and they don't seem to think this could lead to anything.

[00:13:16] Queen says he had access to your photos. That's all revenge porn. OP says yeah, they didn't care. Don't speak my name says OP. Were you able to discuss with the soon to be ex the repercussions of his actions?

[00:13:30] Is he offering to help with a lawsuit or to help clean up a bit of the mess he has made? With everything he went through it sucks that he confronted them first. You are definitely the real victim here and he made it even worse.

[00:13:41] Also cops won't help you on this. You can file a report and give it to a lawyer. I talked to a lawyer and sue and press charges. Once in front of a judge other charges may be given.

[00:13:51] OP says yes and he said that he couldn't just wait and let brother in law believe that I was alone and easy prey. He said that police wouldn't do anything. He was right about that and people like brother in law are better exposed to everyone because

[00:14:04] they value their image. He doesn't seem to be understanding of my sister however and the way she was put in the middle. He didn't apologize a lot but probably only because I was distraught and upset about what he did. I don't think he regrets anything.

[00:14:17] He is very sad himself and he's been apologizing all the time about everything including not believing me or trusting his gut that believed me. My brother in law hasn't bothered me again since he tried to call me to threaten me after

[00:14:30] everything blew up because my ex went to his place again and threatened beating him up again. Now my sister is even angrier. So around 2 and a half months later OP comes in with another update and says I'm sorry

[00:14:46] I've been gone for too long and I'm overwhelmed by the support you have given me here. Some of you are still asking about me. I don't know where to start. I've been in constant pain and stress about everything that happened but my brother in

[00:14:58] law is now exposed to everyone about what he did to me. For those of you who think he is in love with me, he isn't. He very much hates my guts and has done since the day I rejected him.

[00:15:10] Hate is also a driving force and not only love. So for the stupid users that I would like to call losers who made fun of me about me bragging about a man not being over me in 20 years, that is not it.

[00:15:23] If this is bragging then you're actually very sick in the head. Unfortunately I was sent these comments from a different sub about updates. What a bunch of losers. I was in constant fear that my brother in law would be hurting my sister because of

[00:15:36] me and I'm not certain if he will. But that was the only reason I have been apathetic. I wasn't sure what the right step was with people like him. He has hidden his hatred so well for so long, so what more is he capable of?

[00:15:51] I didn't want my sister and her children to be the collateral damage. That's why I've been careful. I'm sorry to disappoint you by not being the strong bad bitch. I have other priorities. My sister and I finally talked. I love her and her children very much.

[00:16:07] She seemed just very hurt and questioning her entire marriage and who can blame her? I tried the baby steps approach. I wanted her to know I was there for her and I was honest with her about my worries about her and her children with a man like him.

[00:16:21] It worked for a while and I was being hopeful but something changed and it probably had to do with her husband giving her an ultimatum. Divorce or cut your family off. She chose a marriage.

[00:16:34] It broke my parents and me but I didn't think we could do anything about it. It is her own choice even if we believe it is coerced. But maybe there's a little chance that she knows him better than we do.

[00:16:45] There is a little hope that he is a better person towards his family. I'm clinging on to that hope. She wrote us telling us to forget she and her children existed and they will take legal action if we ever try to contact them.

[00:16:59] Her in law deleted all his social media accounts and his friends apparently all want nothing to do with him. I've heard he is planning on leaving the city because everyone knows what he did now and he is having a hard time with it.

[00:17:12] He barely leaves the house and he has been shamed, even at work. My ex husband and I are moving on with the divorce. I don't blame him for believing the rumors but at the same time I wish he knew me better like I thought he did.

[00:17:26] That I would never do such a thing and cheat on him. I'm sorry that he moved back for me and probably was hoping we could give it another chance but I can't. He has apologized so many times and said so many times that he never truly believed the

[00:17:39] rumors but I have started to think that our marriage wasn't strong enough to overcome a rumor. It is nobody's fault but I thought our love was stronger than it actually was. I think we both thought that.

[00:17:50] I have started dating a new guy a few weeks before all this started, after over a year of me not even being able to leave bed. He has seen all this unfolding and has been very patient and supportive. I think I have a real shot at happiness now.

[00:18:05] At least he knows everything and is well prepared in case my brother-in-law isn't done with me yet. Thank you for reading all of this and thank you again for being there for me. I was quite shocked that there was nothing to be done legally in terms of suing.

[00:18:35] They have had the whole life turned upside down. Nudes, revenge porn being sent around. I'm no legal expert at all. I ain't got a clue about any of that sort of stuff. It just seems bizarre that someone can get away with that kind of shit. Legally speaking.

[00:18:51] But I do hope that sister does realize what's going on one day and OP. It sounds like her and her family will keep the door open. I think that's one of the only things they can do at the moment.

[00:19:03] We've seen many stories where there's very little option given apart from that. But the guy just sounds totally unhinged. Couple of comments from the top there with OP replying. Awkward fortune cookie says I'm sorry your sister is in a tough place.

[00:19:19] I hope she comes around because he's isolating her now. OP replies saying my only hope now is that she knows something we don't know about him. That he is better than we think. I'm so sorry too and I have nightmares all the time since she cut us off.

[00:19:35] My cabbages replies saying I would still go after him for harassment. Even if there is no legal case, I'd still make sure even if he moves and finds a new job they're made aware of how unhinged he is. He stalked and harassed you for years. It's his turn.

[00:19:52] But now I'm going to turn this one to you guys. What do you guys make of this situation? Let me know your thoughts down in the comments below. And let's have one more little story from the mivarsol subreddit.

[00:20:04] It does have like a mini update at the bottom as well from babybright1992 and says I'm i the arsehole for telling my husband. I'm upset he made lunch plans with his friend the day before my c-section. Didn't tell me until the last minute and didn't consider inviting me.

[00:20:22] I, 31F, am 9 months pregnant with our first child and booked in for a cesarean tomorrow at 7.30am. My husband, 38M, is on his second day of parental leave. He'll be off work for a month.

[00:20:35] We had told family we'd be hanging out at home together all day today getting the last few things organized for the hospital tomorrow. It was my understanding that we'd be spending the day together, essentially pottering around the house and spending time together.

[00:20:50] This morning his mum suggested she come over for coffee to see us before the baby arrives. He said again we'd just be home today so that'd be fine and to come over whenever she liked.

[00:21:00] When it got to 11am and she hadn't arrived yet, he then said he was annoyed because he was going to be late for a pub lunch with his friend. I was surprised to hear he had made lunch plans and said to him, you're going for lunch?

[00:21:13] What about me? He said he didn't think I'd want to come as it wasn't a big deal. I felt disappointed as he had a habit of not considering or inviting me when making plans during our time off together, which has mostly been our weekends up until now.

[00:21:28] His mum came for her visit, which was enjoyable and uneventful. His lunch was brought up by him and his mum agreed with me that it was a bit strange he had organized to do something without me today.

[00:21:40] He said again he didn't think it would matter and it's his last day before becoming a father as well. After she left, he asked if I wanted to come for lunch. By this point I decided I didn't want to because I felt like a third wheel and unwanted

[00:21:53] so I said no. I was setting up the baby monitor when he came in to tell me I should cut him some slack because he's going to be looking after me and the baby for the next month, which is an exaggeration but fine.

[00:22:05] So he should be able to go out for an hour if he wants. He also wanted me to tell him he wasn't going to have to hear about this again, meaning I understood it was fine and wouldn't bring it up again.

[00:22:16] This caused an argument as I wouldn't say it wouldn't get mentioned again and I ended up telling him that I felt disappointed when he had made plans without me and I felt unimportant.

[00:22:26] He got angry, I cried, he left for lunch and I don't know whether I'm in the wrong or not. It's not really about him going out with his friend, usually it 100% wouldn't matter

[00:22:37] at all, but as it's our last day together before our baby arrives I would just like to have been factored into the decision making and not be told as an aside after plans are already made. Am I the arsehole?

[00:22:50] So before a little update, Catastrophe says not the arsehole, I was leaning towards no one's an arsehole here. He didn't even think these plans would be something you would care about at all. He was wrong but that's not an arsehole thing. No no.

[00:23:03] What bothers me is that he cannot accept that you feel some type of way about this thing. He doesn't just want to accept there was a disagreement, he insists that he has to

[00:23:11] win so completely, beat you down so much that you say you were wrong and he was right and you will never hear another word about it. That's fucked up. Remember that abusive people often start being abusive when the first baby comes and then the victim is stuck.

[00:23:25] If it's his way or no way, if he can't leave you room to feel how you feel about something, he's not treating you like a human. Maybe he's just stressed and acting a little crazy but keep an eye on this and be ready to get out.

[00:23:38] Eleven Ski Hills says not the arsehole, your husband is a selfish immature jerk. Thoughtless. Let's hope he improves. This is now your memory of baby coming. And this don't mention it again? Yikes. Don't have any more kids with him. You'll be stuck. I hated to read this.

[00:23:57] You says how are you surprised that he did not consider you? Based on this comment alone, I felt disappointed as he had a habit of not considering or inviting me when making plans during our time off together, which has mostly been our weekends up until now.

[00:24:11] He's shown you what type of person he is so believe him. You are not his priority when it comes to his free time. It's time you set clear boundaries and expectations around your time now that there will be a baby involved.

[00:24:22] Don't get me wrong, we all need time to ourselves without our partners. When I was married we each had a day to ourselves to do as we wished without the other person each month. Both of you need to work on your communication or this issue will snowball.

[00:24:36] Congratulations on your baby. And a final comment from Competitive Key who says let's get the easy part out of the way. If your husband's plan had been lunch with a friend, he should have told you in advance. But you are no saint here.

[00:24:51] In quotes, I should cut him some slack because he is going to be looking after me and the baby for the next month. Which is an exaggeration but fine. So he should be able to get out for an hour if he wants.

[00:25:01] And then says you are undervaluing slash underappreciating just how much of his life is about to change too. I mean unless you're going to be a woman who says no matter how little my husband helps with the house and baby, he's the greatest guy I know.

[00:25:15] A sentiment I have never seen once on Reddit. You should acknowledge that his statement is correct. That you are belittling what you're going to expect if he tells me you're a bigger part of the problem than you realize.

[00:25:26] In quotes, he also wanted me to tell him he wasn't going to have to hear about this again. Meaning I understood it was fine and wouldn't bring it up again. This caused an argument as I wouldn't say it wouldn't get mentioned again and I ended

[00:25:38] up telling him I felt disappointed when he made plans without me and I felt unimportant. And then says everyone else has written how controlling he comes off in this passage. But you seem more controlling here to me. He's going to pop out for lunch with his mate.

[00:25:53] Probably to celebrate the coming baby and give a final respite before the real work begins. And you want to hold it over him as a remember that time you were an asshole and went to lunch with your friend card.

[00:26:04] You're both poor communicators and I have to wonder if you two like each other. Seriously, if he did he would have invited you to lunch and if you did it would be more understanding that he's going to take a break before the real work begins.

[00:26:17] Wonder how well you'd be working together on whatever last minute prep is left. Everyone sucks here. The OP came in with a little update and says I was not expecting the volume of response to this. I'm oscillating between packing hospital clothes and reading comments but will quickly

[00:26:34] say thank you to everyone who had thoughtful responses. We are both feeling a lot with everything going on tomorrow and emotions and tensions were definitely running high. He wasn't being his best self in the moment and I definitely had my moments of being hormonal

[00:26:48] and I rupt him recently. While I agree I'm not the asshole in this instance, I'll accept there has been some increased sensitivity and insecurity on my part that added weight to the situation. Husband apologized not long after I posted, returned home and is currently hanging some

[00:27:03] shelves in the nursery. Sorry to those who suggested we end it and super sorry to the one person who suggested he was out with a side chick. But all I can say to OP is good luck to you both with the upcoming cesarean and future parenting as well.

[00:27:25] But what do you guys make of this situation? Let me know your thoughts down in the comments below. And just a huge thank you from the bottom of my heart for getting involved in today's stories.

[00:27:36] Your love, your support, your time always means the absolute world to me so thank you so so much and hopefully I'll see you in the next one. Take care and much love.