My Boyfriends Sports Superstitions Are Getting Out Of Control And I'm Worried r/Relationships

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[00:00:34] Hey, hey Waffle Gang. I do hope you are well. My name is Mark and today we're checking out

[00:00:39] some more Reddit Stories. And if you do love a Reddit Story, why not consider hitting that

[00:00:44] like, subscribe, maybe that notification bell too. Let's crack on with today's first story.

[00:00:50] Much love guys.

[00:00:52] Now, today's first story comes from sportsobsessedbf who says,

[00:00:56] My 24 female boyfriend 24 male is obsessed and superstitious with sports to the point

[00:01:02] where it interferes with his life severely. I am also a sports fan but I think he is out of control.

[00:01:09] My relationships, I realize that this problem may seem minor and insignificant,

[00:01:14] but it's really affected my relationship with my boyfriend.

[00:01:17] I'm posting this with a throwaway because people I know in real life know my Reddit handle.

[00:01:22] Excuse any typos please on mobile.

[00:01:25] My 24 female have been dating my boyfriend 24 male for 17 months and we have lived together

[00:01:30] for 5 months. He is a wonderful guy and he treats me great and doesn't have a mean bone in his body.

[00:01:36] We get along with each other's friends and families and we have the same sense of humor

[00:01:41] and common goals and beliefs. I know we are young and I don't want to rush but I love him,

[00:01:46] I can really see a future with him. There is just one problem that I feel is getting in the way.

[00:01:52] It may seem like such a stupid and insignificant problem because he doesn't hit me or cheat on me

[00:01:57] or use drugs or alcohol to excess but it's really affecting our relationship.

[00:02:02] My boyfriend is obsessed with sports and is really superstitious when it comes to his team.

[00:02:08] We live in Massachusetts and he is obsessed with the Red Sox, the Bruins, the Celtics,

[00:02:13] the Patriots and the Revolution. I like sports as well but he takes it to a whole different level.

[00:02:19] He gets superstitious and has routines and things he does because he believes it will help his team

[00:02:24] win. Some examples.

[00:02:27] Earlier this season, the Red Sox went on a winning streak. The day they won their first game,

[00:02:32] he had a day off work and he'd fallen asleep on the couch the night before, still wearing his

[00:02:36] socks. So for the entire winning streak, he refused to take off or change his socks. He was washing

[00:02:43] his hair and body in the bathroom sink and wearing clean clothes but he wouldn't change his socks or

[00:02:48] wash his feet. This went on for days and it was gross and his feet smelled so bad and he admitted

[00:02:54] he could smell them too but he didn't care because he said it helped the team win.

[00:02:59] When the NFL season started this year, my boyfriend's car was in the shop so when he

[00:03:03] went to work the day before opening day, he walked to work and then took the bus home at the end of

[00:03:08] the day. This happened for the first two games of the season and the Patriots won every game and he

[00:03:14] was convinced that this ritual was helping the team. He kept this up for the first 10 games of

[00:03:19] the season, even after he got his car back. He didn't care what the weather was and even made

[00:03:25] the trip on days he wasn't working, even though it was 30-40 minutes each way without a car.

[00:03:31] Two mutual friends of ours got married on November 28th of last year and he couldn't make the trip

[00:03:37] because we had to go out of town for the wedding. He was actually thinking of skipping the wedding

[00:03:41] but because I talked sense into him, he went, although he was tense the whole time. The next

[00:03:47] day, the Patriots lost their first game of the season after winning 10 games in a row. He was

[00:03:52] pissed off and still blames me for it and by blame me, he just says it's my fault. He doesn't do

[00:03:58] stuff like yell at me or refuse to spend time with me just for clarity. He is not abusive.

[00:04:03] He has certain rituals for game days. He will only eat certain foods or drink his coffee a

[00:04:08] certain way or go to a certain coffee shop or gas station. For the last brewing season,

[00:04:14] he went and got coffee every morning even if he didn't want coffee. He has certain brands of

[00:04:19] shampoo depending on what sport season or playoff it is. He will change his hairstyle or not shave

[00:04:25] it if it is the playoffs or he will only sit in a certain seat in the living room during the game.

[00:04:30] When we moved in together, I moved in with him because my lease was up but he still had 6 months

[00:04:36] left on his. Our plan was that after 6 months, we could find a bigger place. I have almost a new

[00:04:41] living room set with a couch, loveseat and 2 recliners. His living room furniture is ripped

[00:04:46] and on the verge of breaking. He insisted on keeping his because he doesn't know the temperament of my

[00:04:52] furniture when it comes to the teams. Seriously, I am not trying to be snobby because mine is newer

[00:04:58] but his is being held together with pieces of wood and duct tape and has holes in it.

[00:05:03] I know compromise is important and at the time it wasn't the hill I wanted to die on and so I

[00:05:08] agreed to keep his furniture and give mine to my parents because they were looking for replacements

[00:05:13] but now in the big picture, I see why it was a problem. Another example is our wedding. We aren't

[00:05:20] planning on being engaged or married yet but we have talked about the future. He said that if we

[00:05:25] ever get married and engaged, the proposal and wedding would have to be on the days when none

[00:05:29] of his teams are playing because he doesn't want the wedding to influence a game or winning streak

[00:05:34] or something because we can't have a wedding every day for the team to win. So far, he thinks July

[00:05:40] or August because 3 of the 5 teams, Bruins, Patriots and Celtics are on the off season

[00:05:45] and there will probably be a day when the Red Sox and Revolution aren't playing. He can't guarantee

[00:05:49] it will be a Saturday though. I'm not saying anything for now because we aren't at the

[00:05:54] wedding or engagement stage but it bothers me that he is so serious about this that it will

[00:05:58] affect our wedding. If we did get married and it was a game day, I wouldn't even mind getting

[00:06:04] married sometime before the game was on then have the TV with the game in our reception.

[00:06:09] As I said, I'm a sports fan also and I like the same teams he does. I enjoy watching sports but

[00:06:15] I think he takes it too far. These are just some examples and there are many others.

[00:06:20] I've tried talking about this and he is saying I don't understand how important all this is.

[00:06:25] As I said, he doesn't pick fights with me or yell or mope or anything and he doesn't get

[00:06:30] emotionally or physically abusive. His family members are also sports fans also and they say

[00:06:36] he has always been like this although they don't take it as far as him and they thought he was

[00:06:40] being dumb with the walking to work so the Patriots would win. I convinced him to talk to a

[00:06:45] therapist about these compulsions and that included couples therapy where we could talk. They agreed

[00:06:50] to go but the therapist said he didn't have a problem and was normal. And yes, he was honest

[00:06:55] in therapy at least when I was there. I wanted a second opinion so I picked the therapist and

[00:07:01] the same thing happened. So now he is convinced that he doesn't have a problem and I just don't

[00:07:06] understand. Like I said, he's wonderful in every other way. He's a good person. He isn't a snob

[00:07:12] to anyone and he treats me well and doesn't cheat or be abusive. He spends time with me and

[00:07:17] is attentive and even when we debate about his sports obsession he doesn't yell or get mean.

[00:07:23] I love him very much and I can see a future for us. I enjoy watching games with him but his

[00:07:28] obsession and superstition with sports has given me second thoughts because while I like sports,

[00:07:33] my life doesn't revolve around them. Since two therapists said he is normal and not mentally ill

[00:07:39] or anything he is convinced this is fine. We are due to move into a bigger place in a month and

[00:07:45] while we haven't signed a lease yet, I'm not sure I want to do it without addressing this

[00:07:49] but I don't know what else to do to make him listen. Am I being irrational and not understanding

[00:07:54] or am I right to be concerned about this and thinking of ending it? If anyone has any advice

[00:07:59] or thoughts I would appreciate them. Thank you in advance for reading. Now I'm very interested to

[00:08:05] know what the comments are going to say on this one. A fair amount of the time they're pretty

[00:08:09] spot on with what they say. This had me seriously like side-eyeing those therapists that said this

[00:08:14] was completely normal. Certainly doesn't feel that way to me but Lane Rider said this is OCD.

[00:08:20] I have it and I do some extremely simple more hygienic routines. This dude sounds like he needs

[00:08:26] an intervention and needs to get help. Blames you for losing a game because of a friend's wedding.

[00:08:31] Like what the hell? Get him help now. Another commenter says I don't understand how two

[00:08:37] therapists cleared this. It's some hallmarked OCD. He's clearly affecting his life and his

[00:08:42] romantic relationship, breaking from the patterns causing distress. The behaviors are not rational

[00:08:48] which he acknowledges to some degree. OP did you go to couples counseling for a length of time?

[00:08:54] How was this missed? Some of justice says maybe see a psychiatrist instead of a therapist.

[00:08:59] I'm appalled that two therapists said it was okay for him to not change his socks etc

[00:09:04] and getting rid of your nice furniture because he doesn't know it's temperament is so irrational.

[00:09:09] OP are you interested in having children? I can only imagine what being pregnant with

[00:09:14] this guy would look like. God forbid you're going to labor on any game day. What will a

[00:09:19] child's sports temperament be? I don't know how you can handle this. It would be a deal breaker

[00:09:24] for me. Seriously the socks would have just flat out killed the relationship off. And one more

[00:09:29] comment which says I came into this post thinking he probably just watches too many sports and it's

[00:09:33] interfering with their relationship. Well I was super wrong about that one. Like other posters I

[00:09:39] agree that this is OCD. I mean it's one thing to wear a jersey when the penguins are playing,

[00:09:44] it's another entirely to plan your wedding around sports seasons and wear the same socks for weeks.

[00:09:49] The bottom line here is that we on Reddit can't help him and that you can't help him. He needs

[00:09:54] medication and cognitive behavior therapy to get this shit under control. Start by seeing a

[00:09:59] psychiatrist. These people can prescribe medication which psychologists can't. So OP comes back into

[00:10:05] the post a year later and says my first post can be found here and shared the link and says firstly

[00:10:11] I would like to thank everyone who posted supportive and kind comments. I'm sorry I didn't

[00:10:15] answer them all. I'd posted with a throwaway and some stuff had happened. I'll explain below and

[00:10:20] I'd forgotten I posted for a while. Now things have kind of evened out I wanted to give an update

[00:10:25] for everyone who was supportive. Here's my ex-boyfriend. I read all of the posts and a few

[00:10:31] days later I decided to talk to him again. It didn't go well at first and that should have been

[00:10:35] a sign. There was a Red Sox game on when we were both home from work and they lost and he was upset

[00:10:41] with me for talking to him and not letting him focus on the game and interrupting the things

[00:10:46] he had to do. He was convinced they lost because of that and we had a huge fight. I should have ended

[00:10:52] it there but I didn't. The next day we were both off work and he got me roses and cooked me lunch

[00:10:57] and there was candlelight and music and he asked me to dance with him there in the living room.

[00:11:02] He apologized and promised he would do better. He acknowledged it wasn't fair to me and said he

[00:11:08] wanted to get help and see another therapist. He talked about the future and us having a life and

[00:11:14] I stupidly listened. He didn't make an appointment with a therapist. He talked with me about his

[00:11:19] feelings and how I was feeling. He said he agreed that we would get new furniture for our new place.

[00:11:25] I tried to give him some space regarding his habits because he was committed to seeing the

[00:11:29] therapist and changing and I didn't want to push him and him ended up saying forget it.

[00:11:34] He was much more attentive though. I thought he changed but I was wrong. A week or so after we

[00:11:40] had fought and made up and he made the therapist appointment something else happened that turned

[00:11:44] my life upside down. I had a mole on one of my arms but I never thought anything of it.

[00:11:50] I had a new co-worker and she pulled me aside one day and said she didn't want to scare me or be

[00:11:54] weird but she is a two time skin cancer survivor and the mole did not look good. She stressed that

[00:12:00] I needed to see a doctor. I wasn't going to and I was non-committal and she begged me to go.

[00:12:06] It turns out she was right and she saved my life. I made the appointment thinking the doctor would

[00:12:11] look and it would be no big deal. I had that mole for a while and never paid much attention to it.

[00:12:16] It was melanoma. I had to have surgery to remove the mole as well as check the lymph nodes to see

[00:12:22] if it had spread. The surgery was scheduled for a day my idiot ex-boyfriend had tickets to a Bruins

[00:12:27] preseason game. He asked me to postpone the surgery because he couldn't skip the game as it would

[00:12:32] affect the team. He was actually being serious. He went so far as to call my doctor and tell him

[00:12:38] I wanted to postpone the surgery and he was calling on my behalf. He said if I went through

[00:12:43] with the surgery he couldn't be there for me and I needed to understand because the team needs him.

[00:12:49] Then he actually fucking told me that I could not sit in his recliner the day I was scheduled to

[00:12:54] come home from hospital because the Pats were playing and he needed to sit there for game day.

[00:12:59] I would have to take the broken couch. I am dead serious. I broke up with him. I called a friend

[00:13:05] who had a truck and we packed all my stuff and she agreed that I could crash in her spare room for as

[00:13:09] long as I needed. It was the last month on his lease and I paid the landlord the last month of

[00:13:14] rent because even though I wasn't on the lease, I didn't want him to be able to say I left him high

[00:13:19] and dry. I cut all contact with him and blocked his phone number and email address. It was on the

[00:13:24] 18 month anniversary of the day we met slash had our first date and the 6 month anniversary of the

[00:13:30] day we moved in together. I thank god slash the universe slash whoever that I didn't sign the

[00:13:35] lease for a new place. We had planned to move in together with him or combine my money with him.

[00:13:40] I had the surgery. It got so lucky. It was stage 2 and had not hit the lymph nodes yet. I had to

[00:13:47] stay in the hospital for a couple of days but the wound was looking okay and not infected

[00:13:52] so I was discharged to go home. The waiting was agony and the worst thing. I also was not

[00:13:58] in the best emotional state because of what happened with my ex. I cried when I found out

[00:14:03] it wasn't in my lymph nodes yet. The doctor said it would have hit them and spread in under a year

[00:14:09] and I would have been much worse off. So now I am hyper aware of the sun. I go for skin checks

[00:14:15] every few months and have a nasty scar but it could have been so bad. That co-worker saved my

[00:14:20] life and we are friends now. Yesterday was the one year anniversary of my surgery. I had so much

[00:14:26] support from my friends, family and co-workers. I will never forget it. Many of us have those

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[00:15:25] hellofresh.com. Let's get this dinner party started. Once I recovered and went back to work I got a

[00:15:37] small promotion. I started night school for college last month while I work full-time during the day.

[00:15:43] I've taken up rock climbing and last month I started night school. It will really help my

[00:15:47] career and I'm excited about it. I'm single since I broke up with my ex but on Monday I had an

[00:15:53] impromptu date at the juice bar with a guy I bummed into at the gym. It felt good to be social again

[00:15:58] and he seemed nice. That's my update. I wanted to thank everyone again. I haven't seen or talked to

[00:16:05] my ex since I broke up with him and left. I did hear through the grapevine that he stayed in his

[00:16:09] place when the power went out and there was no heat for more than one day when the temps were below

[00:16:14] freezing and there was a blizzard because he wanted to sleep in his bed and sit in his chair

[00:16:18] to help his teams. He apparently had to be taken to hospital for exposure because it was so damn

[00:16:24] cold. If he doesn't want to change that's his problem and not mine now. Thanks everyone.

[00:16:29] Relationships. And I can't blame OP for checking out of that situation. I think he'd be right that

[00:16:36] if he doesn't want to change then it is going to be his problem and not OP's. And you know him

[00:16:41] calling the doctor to cancel her appointment was just awful. But regardless of the behavior,

[00:16:47] as I said I'm glad that OP is out of that situation and I hope that one day he does

[00:16:51] find some help because that does sound really extremely unhealthy and sounds like it could

[00:16:56] escalate even further. But now I'm going to turn this one to you guys. What do you guys make of

[00:17:02] this situation? Let me know your thoughts down in the comments below and let's move on to another

[00:17:08] story. And our next story is from the am I the arsehole subreddit. It doesn't have an update

[00:17:13] as yet but it's from beginning jaguar9693 and says am I the arsehole for refusing to share my huge

[00:17:19] inheritance with my step siblings? So I, 17 male, found out only a few weeks ago that my dad left me

[00:17:26] a lot of money in a trust. Like it's such a crazy amount that I didn't really believe it at first

[00:17:31] but it's true. The reason is my dad had inherited from both his parents already. He also inherited

[00:17:38] from the only two uncles he had as well and one of them was very successful and had a business.

[00:17:43] This was all explained in a letter my dad wrote to me. He kept the trust set up before he came into

[00:17:49] most of the money but when he found out his cancer was incurable, he decided to put it all aside for

[00:17:53] me once all his medical bills were paid off for him. My parents were separated but not legally

[00:17:59] divorced when my dad was sick slash died but they weren't living together for a couple of years.

[00:18:04] This was 10 years ago. My mom found out about the money because she read the letter he sent

[00:18:09] me about the issue. Then she insisted she was joining me to meet with a lawyer to discuss this.

[00:18:15] When my mom learned about the money, she told her husband and suddenly the money became a

[00:18:20] very touchy subject. I can't touch it until I'm 19 with the way my dad set it up. I have some

[00:18:26] time to deal with this but my mom and her husband want me to share the money with my step siblings,

[00:18:30] 14, 8 and 7. The money is enough where even if I pay for college and buy a house I would have

[00:18:36] money left. The way the trust works I was told it's also getting interest which my dad had

[00:18:42] intentionally set up. My mom and her husband have struggled financially for years. They started

[00:18:48] dating when his youngest kid was one. His wife had died. He was going through a legal battle with

[00:18:53] the mother of his oldest and his oldest is in therapy for trauma caused by their mom.

[00:18:58] Also his youngest was born with some medical issues and has a lot of doctor appointments.

[00:19:03] Between everything money was tight. We lived paycheck to paycheck and I worked to make my

[00:19:08] own life a little more comfortable. But we had no college savings or anything before this.

[00:19:13] My mom and her husband drained their own bank account to keep a roof over our heads.

[00:19:17] This has all been brought up to me as a good reason why I should do this.

[00:19:21] My mom told me it was selfish for dad to put it all away solely for my future

[00:19:26] and he should have been thinking about raising me as well.

[00:19:29] She told me I might not call her husband dad or his kids my siblings but we are a family

[00:19:34] and that this family has been through so much together and we struggled for so long

[00:19:39] that it would be so good and generous for me to do this. I told her it's not like I can access

[00:19:44] the money now. She said no but when I do I should set up accounts for my three step siblings so

[00:19:49] they have a better chance at college and if not college a chance to have a help start in life.

[00:19:55] Despite all they're trying to talk me into it I said no. I told them that I wasn't going to

[00:20:00] share the money. My mom was so mad but it was nothing compared to how mad her husband was.

[00:20:06] They told me to quit being selfish and start acting with compassion. Am I the asshole?

[00:20:12] I'm gonna start with Kronk the sorter who's not the asshole but get the hell out of that house.

[00:20:16] Is there a sibling of your dad you can move in with? Invest every cent of that money though,

[00:20:21] talk to a financial advisor, also make sure to keep your birth certificate, driver's license

[00:20:25] and any other IDs and documents where they can't hold them over your head.

[00:20:30] Opie says no my dad was an only child and I'm the last person in that family,

[00:20:34] at least that I know of, no other family he had. Iron Beagle says not the asshole so your mom's

[00:20:40] new husband is mad you aren't giving money to his children with your mother. This money came from

[00:20:45] your father, that was not their fathers it was yours. This is whom your father wanted the money

[00:20:51] to go to. Explain to your mother that if they're going to punish you for doing exactly what your

[00:20:55] dead father wanted then go fly a kite. Mom should also ask her new husband to stay out of it, he

[00:21:01] isn't your father. Opie says his children with his late wife and his ex-wife, none of his kids are my

[00:21:07] mom's kids. And one more comment from Gypsy Bug who says what they're asking isn't compassion,

[00:21:13] it's displacing the financial burden of raising his children onto you. If you have no emotional

[00:21:18] drive to share then please do not do it. Your mother is responsible for the cost of raising

[00:21:23] you, both stop. You didn't owe her for a choice to have and raise a child, she has made decisions

[00:21:28] that got her and her husband where she is. It is not your job to mitigate her life. Your dad was

[00:21:33] smart, he made sure your mother could not ruin your future, he guaranteed safety for you. Now

[00:21:39] take advantage of his forethought and thrive, not the arse off. But now I'm going to turn this one

[00:21:46] to you guys, what do you guys make of this situation? What would you do if you was Opie?

[00:21:52] Let us know your thoughts down in the comments below. Now just a huge thank you from the bottom

[00:21:57] of my heart for getting involved in today's stories, your love, your support, your time

[00:22:01] always means the absolute world to me so thank you so so much for being involved truly and I will see

[00:22:06] in the next one. Take care and much love.

[00:22:37] Just don't still selling false hope cause you just don't take it.

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