My Boyfriend Was Freaked Out When I Asked Him To Say Hello To My Dead Mom r/Relationships

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[00:00:25] Taxes and fees extra. Additional restrictions apply. 23 months came over to my house for the first time to spend the night and to get to my bedroom you have to walk through the living room which has the mantle. As we pass by it I say, say hi to mum by force of habit since it's a thing with my friends where when they'd come over they'd either find my mum to say hi or I'd go say say hi to mum and that didn't stop after she

[00:01:42] died. It just stuck and they'd go hey OP's death. So if her lights were on, he'd absolutely would have seen the urn as it's decorated and has fairy lights that we turn on at night. But I think since he was supposed to spend the night, he would have seen it when he got up for water or something. He didn't end up spending the night and left shortly after. This was yesterday and he texted me good morning today but hasn't texted otherwise.

[00:03:03] Am I the asshole? I know he has a sister and that's really it. I just assume if someone doesn't bring something up I don't need to ask about it and be brought up where nor if they want to and now learning that is not how people normally act. Certain topics really just don't come up in conversations, not just with him in general with me. When the year mark happened in August we weren't dating, merely both in the same courses in

[00:04:23] schools so I didn't go to him about it talk to a dead stranger was assuming a lot. But to my pastnip says no one's an arsehole here. There's nothing wrong with having a

[00:05:41] fun little tradition where you say hi to your mum. Expect could have been a fun meet the parents moment, but instead he probably felt like a butt of the joke and completely blindsided. Low broccoli says no one's an asshole here. I think your tradition is sweet. I can also see where your boyfriend would be blindsided by the situation as it happened. I do feel it would have been good to mention the situation beforehand, but people deal with grief in

[00:07:01] different ways so it's understandable why you didn't bring it up.

[00:07:04] I think it's worth to have an anyway. I had a fairly sin the situation, I spoke about it in the past and people sort of said you're like absolutely mad, need therapy, all this which was wonderful. And this might sound like really dark, but like after we had already lost like two family members and my dad was diagnosed with mesophiliaoma,

[00:09:41] which is like asbestos based cancer. I don't think it's something that's gonna destroy their relationship, et cetera, et cetera. I think it's just one of those communication issues. There are ways like super heightened around sort of like

[00:11:01] death and grieving, et cetera.

[00:11:03] Loads of people, you know, just don't know this. It's literally just something between me and my friends. 2. When I said I laughed because I thought it was silly he looked for her. I didn't mean I thought it was funny. I guess my wording was just off. I thought since we're about four feet from the urn, he'd see it in his prayer for review. And another thing is people think I was mad about his reaction. I wasn't, I was just

[00:12:22] confused. 3. Fear information, I'm a guy. I have no idea why everyone thinks I'm a girl, until I posted about getting OP is coming from. OP comes in with their full post and says, Honestly, not sure anyone will see this as I can't post to the main sub but here's an update in case anyone decides to check my account.

[00:15:02] Good lord. The post went insane in routine, so it just happened habitually. He's allowed me to share this, but he isn't incredibly close with his family, so he would assume someone so close to me's death wouldn't be such an easy topic to talk about. But since my mom was sick for my whole life, I knew her death was inevitable, but in the

[00:16:23] beginning of her getting really sick, If anyone was wondering, he didn't text me all day because he was 1 in courses and 2 trying to figure out how to start this conversation with me. But eventually

[00:17:42] once I knew his classes ended, I was very sort of pragmatic or something like that. It hurt but it didn't hurt in the way that I thought it was going to. I felt like I'd done all my grieving up to that point and in that moment all I felt about is looking after my family and making sure they're okay.

[00:19:03] Hell, I'm not saying it to be like, gone on long enough I'll try and make some timestamps down in the description for my rubbish And I have one more story from the M.I. The Arsenal subreddit for a little

[00:20:20] New Year's Christmas related drama from sober New Year's wedding who says M.I. The how a bunch of us expect to spend New Year's Eve. Really the only ones that didn't back out are the four members of our 12 person group that are in the wedding. Room Buddy reached out to me and went off. Pretty much is now overspending on catering. He's having 20ish less guests show up than planned and this is all last minute.

[00:21:42] I've been called an arse all among other things for leading the charge in people not

[00:21:47] going to dry wedding. It's not right to cancel last minute for this reason. You can attend the ceremony in the reception for a couple of hours and then go elsewhere to drink. Weddings aren't meant for drinking all night, as you mentioned, they're for celebrating and supporting the couple. I think this is more about not liking the bride, as this was the perfectly excuse not to attend.

[00:23:01] When Bob says you're the asshole this one night, my knees had one, no one cared. A dry wedding on New Year's Eve? Sorry, but I will be leaving before the ends. I can see the new year in with a glass of bubbly. I would still attend the wedding, but accept that the wedding reception was alcohol free, but I would not stay to

[00:24:23] the end. I would arrange to go somewhere where I could have a glass for midnight. We told about it last minute.