My Boyfriend Wants To Buy A Boat While I'm 40k In Debt r/Relationships

[00:00:03] Hey Waffle Gang, I do hope you're well. My name is Mark and today we're checking out some more Reddit stories. And if you do love a Reddit story, why not consider hitting the like, subscribe, maybe that notification bell too. And let's crack on with today's first story. Much love to you, you cheeky so and so.

[00:00:21] Now today's first story comes from user CLDUMAS from the Am I Overreacting subreddit. Saying, my boyfriend wants to buy a boat and I'm 40k in debt. Been together almost 10 years. I own the house we live in. Due to unemployment he stopped contributing to the bills over 5 years ago. For the past 3 years he's been back to work. He paid off all his debt and his only bills are his car insurance and our cell phone bill.

[00:00:51] I've asked him a dozen times to start contributing and it always turns into a fight. He tells me if I need money I should just ask for it, but I don't believe that's a good substitute for giving me a specific amount I can rely on every month for the bills. I also do 95% of the grocery and household shopping. I've made bad decisions and buried myself in debt, trying to live a lifestyle that I should be able to afford if I wasn't supporting him. He wants to buy a boat.

[00:01:19] I'm about to take a 9k per year pay cut at work. He knows how much debt I have. Decided, I'm breaking up with him, selling the house to pay my bills and walking away happy with probably 100k in my pocket. Literally life-changing money. Am I overreacting by ending a 10-year committed relationship without talking to him about it one more time and giving him a chance to make it right?

[00:01:44] Edits. Wow, this post blew up way beyond what I expected. Hate to say this, but if you didn't have anything different to say from the thousand plus other comments here, please don't waste your time. There's no way I'm going to be able to read all these.

[00:01:57] And to the people saying absolutely awful things to me, guess we all know what kind of person you are. And to the person that for the nudes, I'm flattered but no.

[00:02:06] Second edit, I really appreciate the kind words and well-meaning advice I've been getting. I'm going to try really hard to read all of them, but there's like 4,000 right now.

[00:02:16] To answer some of the more common questions.

[00:02:18] I already rent out a room to someone. I didn't mention it because it didn't seem relevant. I've raised his rent starting next month. He's also had a really sweet deal for a few years.

[00:02:28] I have a very good job. I work for USPS. Problem is USPS is going broke and they've realized they can pay a part-timer $20 an hour to do what they pay me almost $40.

[00:02:39] I don't know how bad it'll be yet, but it's looking like 9 to 11k per year cut. I'm trying to get ahead of it before it hits.

[00:02:47] The benefits are great and I don't have a degree, so there's no real way for me to get into a higher paying job.

[00:02:52] And considering Instacart slash DoorDash once it does hit, it just doesn't seem fair that I have to work two jobs while he's sat on his ass for two years.

[00:03:01] And listen, I get it. Selling is a bad idea. A house is an investment.

[00:03:05] But I don't really see any other way of getting out from under this debt.

[00:03:09] I don't want the hassle of trying to rent the whole thing out to someone and pay for an apartment myself.

[00:03:15] I don't want to have to maintain it. It's way too big for me and I don't think I want to stay in this state.

[00:03:20] Sail now, pay off debt, put money away and earn interest on it.

[00:03:24] And in a year or so once I've got my head straight, hopefully move somewhere warmer.

[00:03:29] Third edit. One more thing. He already has a boat. A cheap boat if there is such a thing.

[00:03:35] He wants a nice new boat so he doesn't have to keep putting money into the one he's got.

[00:03:40] So you've been supporting this person for five years.

[00:03:44] Helping them out in a situation which was tough for them.

[00:03:47] They get employed and they basically don't contribute nothing back.

[00:03:51] It's a leech. That person's a leech. It's as simple as that.

[00:03:54] You're right. He should be giving you a specific amount.

[00:03:57] Not buying a fucking boat.

[00:04:00] But Opie gives a response on her budget for the house and paying off the debt she has.

[00:04:04] And it says, yeah, pretty much.

[00:04:06] I could afford it if I didn't have $1,000 a month in credit card payments.

[00:04:10] And if I wasn't about to take a nearly $1,000 a month pay cut.

[00:04:14] I also have no interest in living in a place this big or maintaining my yard by myself.

[00:04:18] And it would take years for a roommate to reach the same financial benefit as just selling.

[00:04:23] It would take about five years for rent to pay my debt.

[00:04:26] And that's at the amount it's at right now.

[00:04:29] Not counting all the interest charges that would happen over those five years.

[00:04:33] And Opie also says, I can't.

[00:04:35] I ran the numbers.

[00:04:36] I can't afford my bills and the mortgage.

[00:04:38] Even taking on a roommate would still take five plus years to pay it off.

[00:04:41] I don't want to live with anyone for a long time.

[00:04:46] Opie responding to someone saying about making a safe retirement account to live comfortable

[00:04:50] after moving out and take care of what she owes.

[00:04:53] Opie says, I have a retirement account and I can afford to pay rent on my salary with no credit card bills.

[00:04:58] So you chip away at the $100,000 while it sits in savings account earning interest.

[00:05:03] Opie on getting therapy to deal with her issues and taking care of herself first before anyone else.

[00:05:07] Opie says, I was in therapy.

[00:05:10] My therapist is moving to a new practice that doesn't accept my insurance.

[00:05:13] So I have to find a new one.

[00:05:15] I've gently encouraged him to seek therapy for a long time, but he won't.

[00:05:19] I suggested couples therapy multiple times, but he believes that's a sign the relationship is already over.

[00:05:24] So basically, I'm just giving him what he must expect at this point.

[00:05:29] Opie also says on the therapist, she's out of state and a new practice only takes client from a specific EAP

[00:05:34] that my company doesn't participate in.

[00:05:36] I really wish staying with her was an option.

[00:05:39] And working on it.

[00:05:41] Had some undiagnosed mental health issues which explain literally every dumb thing I've done.

[00:05:46] I'm actively working on myself.

[00:05:48] Opie responds to someone asking if she has kids with him.

[00:05:50] Opie says he already has one, grown up, and I don't want any, thank God.

[00:05:55] Opie explains the budget she and her boyfriend spends every week.

[00:05:59] Opie says I spend about twice as much on his groceries as I do for mine.

[00:06:03] I eat only one meal a day and about $12 a week on snacks.

[00:06:07] He eats lunch and dinner and probably $20 plus a week's snacks.

[00:06:11] He drinks $30 of Diet Coke every week.

[00:06:13] I drink a $4 pack of bottled water with Mio or Crystal Light packets and the occasional energy drink.

[00:06:19] I have a decent car because I got sick of used ones being unreliable.

[00:06:23] My car payment isn't extravagant and it's good on gas.

[00:06:27] I do take two to three vacations per year.

[00:06:30] Two long weekends and a five-ish day one.

[00:06:32] I shop around for the best deals and pay cash for everything except the hotel and flight.

[00:06:37] Points.

[00:06:37] I always suggest camping but he likes to be more comfortable.

[00:06:41] Anyways, lost track of what point I was making here.

[00:06:44] I fully admit I've made bad financial decisions but those decisions wouldn't have been nearly as bad if he was carrying his own weight.

[00:06:51] I guess I figured he'd step up eventually and he just hasn't.

[00:06:55] Opie adds on her boyfriend's work situation and for how long.

[00:06:59] Opie says no, he was only unemployed for two-ish.

[00:07:02] But he hasn't paid a consistent or helpful amount of money for a household in over five.

[00:07:08] So four months later, Opie comes in with an update and says my original post blew up way bigger than I ever expected.

[00:07:15] I was definitely overwhelmed by all of your responses and I truly appreciate how many people care about a random internet stranger.

[00:07:22] I've considered posting an update many times since but wanted to wait until it all played out.

[00:07:27] But I've had people reaching out recently so I decided this was a good time.

[00:07:31] I spent a decent amount of time setting things up for myself behind the scenes.

[00:07:36] I had a safety plan for myself and my cats in case he got angry.

[00:07:40] I spent a long time putting a plan together for what I would do after selling my house.

[00:07:45] I broke up with him in early June.

[00:07:48] It was one of the most emotionally difficult things I've ever done.

[00:07:51] We talked for hours over multiple days about what went wrong.

[00:07:55] He didn't get angry, just sad.

[00:07:57] I was really sad too and I still am.

[00:08:00] But we're both on the same page now and we agree that it's the best thing for both of us.

[00:08:04] He moved out right away and has been slowly moving his stuff out.

[00:08:08] It took me about two months to get my house ready for sale but once it was listed I accepted a very good offer within a week.

[00:08:15] Closing is three weeks from now.

[00:08:17] I decided to take this opportunity to completely change my life.

[00:08:21] I'm moving across the country.

[00:08:23] I already have a place and a job lined up and I'm really excited for my future.

[00:08:27] I'm making about as much money as I expected, paying off all my debts and investing a large amount of what's left.

[00:08:33] I'm moving to a lower cost of living area and my expenses will be considerably less than they have been.

[00:08:38] And the job I have lined up will pay about the same as I make now.

[00:08:42] So I'll be in really good shape.

[00:08:44] I've already signed a lease for a sweet apartment.

[00:08:47] Maybe I'll look into buying again in the future but for now I'm just looking forward to a fresh start and the opportunity to make my life exactly what I want it to be.

[00:08:56] A commenter asked the OP did he ever say why he wanted to buy a $40,000 boat instead of helping you pay off your debt.

[00:09:03] OP says sort of.

[00:09:04] He just wasn't thinking I guess.

[00:09:06] Somehow he always thought I was fine even though he knew how much debt I was in and even though I begged him so many times to start contributing consistently.

[00:09:14] In his mind I must have been fine because I never asked him for specific amounts to cover specific bills.

[00:09:20] Puzzled History says.

[00:09:21] Ah I love this ending.

[00:09:23] Hope you'll move into a cool city and make lots of friends.

[00:09:26] OP says a very cool city.

[00:09:28] I already have a couple of good friends.

[00:09:30] I can't wait to meet more.

[00:09:33] I imagine the whole house thing is going to get mixed opinions but all I can say is I'm happy that things are looking up for OP.

[00:09:40] I think they're doing what's right for them in their moment.

[00:09:43] They seem very excited about it and I wish you all the best going forward.

[00:09:47] I really hope that you get to live your life.

[00:09:50] That those debts get paid off and breaking up with this guy clearly was the right thing to do.

[00:09:56] He didn't have your best interests at heart.

[00:09:58] Willing to take advantage of you like that.

[00:10:00] It just sounds like it's going to be a huge weight off your shoulders.

[00:10:05] Now I'm going to turn this one to you guys.

[00:10:07] What do you guys make of this situation?

[00:10:10] Maybe you've got a different opinion on the matter.

[00:10:12] Let us know your thoughts down in the comments below.

[00:10:15] Let's move on to another story.

[00:10:18] Our next story comes from NoEducator757 and says

[00:10:23] My male 40 wife's female 35 career choices has turned into a social event.

[00:10:29] We've been married 10 years and don't know what to do.

[00:10:32] What is the next step for me?

[00:10:35] My wife and I have been married for 10 years and we really do have an amazing relationship.

[00:10:41] We have two beautiful kids.

[00:10:42] A nice home.

[00:10:43] I own my own business and things are great.

[00:10:45] I have a great sex life and social life outside of our family life with kids.

[00:10:50] My wife after years in various parts of the industry got a real estate license about four years ago.

[00:10:56] It was something to fill time, keep busy and make a little extra income.

[00:11:01] The company that she's been with for the last two or three years has a real emphasis on social networking events.

[00:11:07] And it has caused a rift between us.

[00:11:09] I've attended one or two of these events and I left them all with a troubling feeling.

[00:11:14] I would say 9 out of the 10 people I met rubbed me the wrong way.

[00:11:18] Many of them are very self-absorbed, could only talk about themselves and their success and are very flirtatious with my wife.

[00:11:26] To be fair, she is incredibly attractive but approachable and friendly.

[00:11:30] The last few events that my wife has attended resulted in her coming home late and involved excessive drinking.

[00:11:37] There are two things that really bother me about it.

[00:11:39] I feel that her professional relationships with men at her company have become more social than professional

[00:11:45] and these networking events seem more like an excuse to go and hang out with other guys and drink.

[00:11:50] While many of them are married, I don't trust their intentions.

[00:11:54] Last week my wife attended an event and we agreed she would be back by 12.

[00:11:59] I even went out of my way to make a point of asking her to be responsible and to limit the amount that she drinks.

[00:12:05] Well, 2am rolled around and there was no sign of her.

[00:12:08] She wouldn't respond to text messages.

[00:12:10] I could see she was still in the general area of the event which was over an hour from our house.

[00:12:16] Finally after calling a few times, she answered and I could tell she was extremely drunk.

[00:12:21] She told me that she was staying at a hotel with one of her girlfriends

[00:12:25] and I had to quickly remind her that I had to be up at 4.30am to get ready for work.

[00:12:30] Long story short, she took an Uber to the train and ended up driving her car home drunk.

[00:12:36] As if this wasn't bad enough, I noticed on her phone she had very flirtatious text messages

[00:12:41] with multiple married and single men.

[00:12:44] I've really had enough of this career choice.

[00:12:46] She doesn't seem responsible enough to attend these events and is causing a big divide between the two of us.

[00:12:52] I'm really at a loss for what my next step should be.

[00:12:54] There was a similar situation to this a few months ago and at that point

[00:12:58] she had promised me she was going to control herself and be more responsible.

[00:13:02] But it's pretty obvious she is not able to do that.

[00:13:05] The first commenter on this one says

[00:13:07] Drunk driving, honestly?

[00:13:09] Fuck that shit.

[00:13:11] It's me, Ali B says

[00:13:13] The only thing I can say here is it's no longer a professional event

[00:13:16] if she's not acting professional at it.

[00:13:18] I'm so sorry you're having to go through this OP.

[00:13:21] Ryan says

[00:13:22] I think the problem is you are separating her from her career choice.

[00:13:25] There are plenty of real estate professionals

[00:13:27] who don't routinely get fucked up

[00:13:29] and leave their hardworking spouse and kids at home

[00:13:31] and flirt with other married and single people.

[00:13:34] Your wife is 100% the problem.

[00:13:36] Not a career choice.

[00:13:38] I'd be close to divorce.

[00:13:39] If there's no intention to change from her

[00:13:41] she will end up cheating on you.

[00:13:44] JJ Mart says in quotes several things

[00:13:47] and says she wouldn't respond to texts.

[00:13:49] Staying at a hotel with one of her girlfriends.

[00:13:52] Flirtatious text messages with multiple men.

[00:13:55] Then says

[00:13:56] I think you know what's going on.

[00:13:58] One final comment says

[00:13:59] Tell her

[00:14:00] She's pushing the boundaries of your relationship

[00:14:02] by messaging these other men.

[00:14:03] If not blatantly stepping over them.

[00:14:05] She also ignores your reasonable requests

[00:14:08] in terms of drinking and time to be home.

[00:14:10] This is disrespectful to you.

[00:14:12] She doesn't think about the safety of her kids.

[00:14:14] You've had to leave early in the morning

[00:14:16] and they would have been left unaccompanied.

[00:14:19] This is disrespectful to you again

[00:14:20] and completely disregards your kids as a priority.

[00:14:24] Maybe the most important

[00:14:25] She can't handle her drinking

[00:14:26] and makes poor decisions resulting in her driving home drunk.

[00:14:30] This is incredibly dangerous to herself

[00:14:31] but also anyone else on the road.

[00:14:33] She's just very selfish

[00:14:34] and clearly the only person she's thinking about

[00:14:37] when she did this is herself.

[00:14:39] If none of those facts give your wife pause

[00:14:41] and make her reconsider how she behaves at these events

[00:14:43] then it's time for you to consider divorce.

[00:14:46] If she sees she's been wronging you and your family

[00:14:48] then the only course of action

[00:14:50] should be couples counselling first.

[00:14:52] You've clearly lost a lot of trust in your wife

[00:14:54] and rightfully so

[00:14:55] and she needs to work to gain that back.

[00:14:58] So Opie comes in 11 days later

[00:15:00] and says

[00:15:01] Hi everyone

[00:15:01] I apologise but my last post was deleted.

[00:15:04] I didn't title it properly

[00:15:06] I received many requests for an update on our situation.

[00:15:09] I also want to thank all the people

[00:15:11] that had positive and empathetic responses

[00:15:13] to my initial story.

[00:15:14] A lot has unfolded in the time since my wife's night out.

[00:15:18] After noticing the flirtatious text messages

[00:15:20] I asked my wife to see her phone.

[00:15:22] I told her I wanted to see what else she had written.

[00:15:25] She gave me access to her phone

[00:15:26] and upon doing a deeper dive

[00:15:28] I saw that the flirtatious messages went far beyond anything I would have expected.

[00:15:33] The man she was messaging had recently broke up with his girlfriend

[00:15:36] and my wife's response to him was

[00:15:38] things aren't going well in our marriage.

[00:15:41] I also found out that while we're on vacation

[00:15:43] in the area he lives

[00:15:45] she went to the gym

[00:15:46] and met this man there to work out.

[00:15:49] This news was devastating to me.

[00:15:52] Not only was I disgusted to find out

[00:15:53] she met with him behind my back

[00:15:55] but I was blindsided to see

[00:15:57] that she mentioned to him

[00:15:58] that we were probably heading towards divorce.

[00:16:00] We had a difficult week after that.

[00:16:02] She was ashamed of her actions.

[00:16:04] The drinking,

[00:16:05] the messages to this man

[00:16:07] and the meetup.

[00:16:08] She described that she feels like I hate her

[00:16:10] which really hurt

[00:16:11] because I feel like I do everything I can

[00:16:13] to make her happy.

[00:16:14] She swore to me that nothing physical had happened.

[00:16:18] After looking through the messages

[00:16:19] I do believe her.

[00:16:20] It seems that she didn't find out

[00:16:22] that he and his girlfriend broke up

[00:16:23] until he texted her after the gym.

[00:16:26] He actually stated in the messages

[00:16:28] that while he's attracted to her

[00:16:30] he didn't want to get in the way of our marriage

[00:16:32] and that he didn't want to be a distraction

[00:16:34] while she and I try to work things out.

[00:16:36] I have to commend him for that.

[00:16:38] I told her that it was imperative

[00:16:40] that she confesses if anything physical had happened.

[00:16:43] I was willing to work through anything

[00:16:45] but if I find out later down the road

[00:16:47] that she lied

[00:16:47] then she would not get another chance.

[00:16:50] I also discussed the importance

[00:16:52] if anything happened

[00:16:53] for the sake of our health

[00:16:54] and our children's health

[00:16:55] and that she would need to get tested.

[00:16:57] She was also on a period while we were away

[00:16:59] so I'm confident

[00:17:00] there was no physical interaction.

[00:17:02] She had been adamant that nothing happened

[00:17:04] but she knows what she did was wrong.

[00:17:07] She did agree to get tested

[00:17:08] to give me peace of mind

[00:17:09] and everything was negative.

[00:17:11] I had a few sessions with my therapist

[00:17:13] and she recommended a couple's therapist for us.

[00:17:15] She also mentioned that she believes my wife

[00:17:17] has some deeper trauma

[00:17:18] that she needs to work through.

[00:17:20] It's obvious that her judgment is off

[00:17:22] and there may be some reason

[00:17:23] as to why she is acting out.

[00:17:25] My wife has since seen a therapist on her own

[00:17:28] and we have sat with a couple's therapist.

[00:17:31] Our first session with a couple's therapist

[00:17:33] was very educational.

[00:17:34] She did a dive into our relationship

[00:17:36] from the beginning.

[00:17:37] The main reason that we sought her help

[00:17:40] and laid out a treatment plan.

[00:17:42] Next week we'll be starting individual sessions

[00:17:44] with her

[00:17:45] and then couple sessions following that.

[00:17:48] We both know there is a lot of work to do

[00:17:50] but we're dedicated to making this work.

[00:17:52] I myself had a very unstable childhood

[00:17:55] due to my parents' divorce.

[00:17:57] When I made those vows to my wife

[00:17:58] I fully intended to see them through

[00:18:00] and I believe she did as well.

[00:18:02] I feel very confident after speaking to both therapists

[00:18:04] that couples can heal,

[00:18:06] move beyond an act of infidelity

[00:18:08] and come out even stronger than before.

[00:18:12] I owe it to myself, my wife and my children

[00:18:14] to do everything I can to commit

[00:18:16] to having a happy and healthy relationship.

[00:18:18] My wife is showing great remorse.

[00:18:20] She said she doesn't know why she does these things

[00:18:23] but she knows it's wrong and she wants to stop.

[00:18:26] She's seeking the necessary help

[00:18:28] and knows she has a lot of work to do.

[00:18:30] She's fully aware of the damage she has caused.

[00:18:32] She knows I've lost the ability

[00:18:34] to trust her in social settings

[00:18:35] and it's going to take a long time to earn that back.

[00:18:38] She has since ended any and all conversations with this guy.

[00:18:42] She's offered to quit her job.

[00:18:43] I'm not sure if that's going to help.

[00:18:45] I believe she does get a sense of purpose from it

[00:18:48] that she doesn't get at home.

[00:18:49] If she can't control herself at these work events

[00:18:52] then I can't trust her to control herself anywhere.

[00:18:55] She plans to go away for the yearly work retreat

[00:18:57] national meeting later in the year.

[00:19:00] She has made a decision to cancel those plans.

[00:19:03] Throwaway responded to OP

[00:19:05] and said she's doing the right things on paper

[00:19:08] She met with another man with the intent to cheat

[00:19:11] but it seems like it didn't happen

[00:19:13] only because the other guy has a conscience.

[00:19:15] She fed in the I'm getting divorced lie

[00:19:18] so he would sleep with her.

[00:19:20] Yikes.

[00:19:21] I'd find this hard to overcome.

[00:19:23] Find this guy and buy him a beer.

[00:19:25] She shouldn't stop working

[00:19:26] but maybe she finds a job at another office

[00:19:29] to get away from the party culture of her current job.

[00:19:31] The outings after work and work trips

[00:19:33] should stop until further notice.

[00:19:35] She broke the trust

[00:19:36] and it's going to take years to fix.

[00:19:38] Any mentions of her going to AA meetings.

[00:19:41] She shouldn't have a drop of alcohol either.

[00:19:46] OP responded saying thank you.

[00:19:47] We're going to dive into the alcohol issue with a therapist.

[00:19:50] This is something my therapist recommended.

[00:19:53] But when I brought it up to my wife

[00:19:54] she was insulted.

[00:19:55] I said she has a drinking problem.

[00:19:57] My therapist said she's not ready to hear that from me

[00:19:59] and needs to deal with that professionally.

[00:20:02] As I mentioned in the first post

[00:20:03] she doesn't drink very often

[00:20:05] and more often than not

[00:20:06] she can have one or two drinks and call it quits.

[00:20:09] There is no excuse for the binge drinking

[00:20:10] and I do believe she has a problem

[00:20:12] so I'm taking it very seriously.

[00:20:15] Another comment says

[00:20:15] I'm glad you're trying to work it out.

[00:20:17] The only thing I find long-term concerning

[00:20:19] is all this is that she said

[00:20:21] during an emotional affair

[00:20:22] that you two were heading towards divorce.

[00:20:24] That means she was planning for it

[00:20:26] until she got caught.

[00:20:27] Hope you're able to make it through all of this

[00:20:29] for the sake of you both and your kids.

[00:20:32] OP says thank you.

[00:20:33] That was without question

[00:20:34] the most devastating part

[00:20:35] of this whole situation for me.

[00:20:37] Not that the other things weren't bad

[00:20:39] but to hear that she felt so differently

[00:20:41] about our marriage than I did

[00:20:42] really hurt.

[00:20:43] She has told me that she doesn't want a divorce.

[00:20:45] She doesn't know why she said that.

[00:20:47] She reached out to this other guy

[00:20:48] the next day over phone

[00:20:49] to tell him that it was wrong of her

[00:20:50] to say that and it wasn't true

[00:20:52] but we're working towards making sure

[00:20:54] we're not heading in that direction.

[00:20:56] Another commenter says

[00:20:57] so many marriages end up in shambles

[00:20:59] because the couple tried to stay together

[00:21:00] for the sake of the children.

[00:21:02] It just doesn't work dude.

[00:21:04] There are countless examples of this.

[00:21:06] OP responds and says

[00:21:07] and there are people who make an effort

[00:21:08] to correct course

[00:21:09] and have a successful and healthy marriage.

[00:21:11] What we have is worth fighting for

[00:21:13] and if it doesn't work

[00:21:14] and if there are other events

[00:21:16] that impact our marriage

[00:21:17] then I can say at least I tried

[00:21:18] and I can move on.

[00:21:19] Even if we call it quits

[00:21:20] right after something like this

[00:21:22] how could we possibly have

[00:21:23] an amicable divorce

[00:21:24] and a healthy co-parenting situation

[00:21:26] for our kids?

[00:21:27] The same commenter replies

[00:21:28] and saying plenty of parents do.

[00:21:30] OP responds saying

[00:21:32] I think it's more important

[00:21:33] to try and fix it.

[00:21:34] You want to be the person

[00:21:35] that had a successful divorce

[00:21:37] or a successful marriage.

[00:21:39] If something else happens

[00:21:40] then there is nothing more lost

[00:21:42] than if I walk away now.

[00:21:44] My mum suffered from a drinking problem

[00:21:46] after a failed marriage

[00:21:47] and vicious divorce.

[00:21:48] Her fiancé walked out on her

[00:21:50] because he didn't want to deal with it

[00:21:52] so it was up to me

[00:21:53] to take on that responsibility.

[00:21:55] In my early 20s

[00:21:56] since she's been sober and healthy

[00:21:57] it troubles me to think

[00:21:59] what would have come

[00:22:00] if he took steps to stand by her

[00:22:02] and get her the help she needed.

[00:22:04] I could have walked away from her

[00:22:06] and said good luck.

[00:22:07] I really want to believe

[00:22:09] that things will work

[00:22:11] but I just feel like

[00:22:13] it was trickle truthing through this.

[00:22:15] You know she told

[00:22:16] she told this other guy

[00:22:18] about the divorce

[00:22:18] for obvious reasons.

[00:22:21] But what do you guys make

[00:22:23] of this situation?

[00:22:25] Do you think it might work out?

[00:22:26] Let us know your thoughts

[00:22:27] down in the comments below.

[00:22:30] And just a huge thank you

[00:22:31] from the bottom of my heart

[00:22:31] for getting involved

[00:22:32] in today's stories.

[00:22:33] Your love,

[00:22:34] your support,

[00:22:35] your time

[00:22:35] always means the absolute world to me.

[00:22:37] So thank you so so much

[00:22:38] and hopefully

[00:22:38] I'll see you in the next one.

[00:22:40] Take care

[00:22:41] and much love.